1
00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,142
<i>So long, child</i>

2
00:00:44,242 --> 00:00:48,522
<i>I'm on my way</i>

3
00:00:49,413 --> 00:00:52,366
<i>And after all is done</i>

4
00:00:54,294 --> 00:00:57,448
<i>After all is done</i>

5
00:00:58,256 --> 00:01:01,791
<i>Don't be down</i>

6
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:06,626
<i>It's all in the past</i>

7
00:01:07,224 --> 00:01:13,759
<i>Though you may be afraid</i>

8
00:01:16,483 --> 00:01:20,516
<i>So long, child</i>

9
00:01:21,197 --> 00:01:24,849
<i>It's awful dark</i>

10
00:01:25,493 --> 00:01:28,647
<i>And I've never felt the sun</i>

11
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:32,907
<i>I dread to think of when</i>

12
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:35,451
<i>When the wind blows</i>

13
00:01:38,089 --> 00:01:39,950
<i>When the wind blows</i>

14
00:01:42,511 --> 00:01:44,619
<i>When the wind blows</i>

15
00:01:47,099 --> 00:01:52,755
<i>When the wind blows</i>

16
00:01:52,855 --> 00:01:56,926
<i>Life burns a savage wound</i>

17
00:01:57,026 --> 00:02:00,809
<i>Angry and wrong</i>

18
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,685
<i>Trusting a twisted word</i>

19
00:02:05,785 --> 00:02:09,898
<i>You'll run, run away</i>

20
00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:13,282
<i>You'll take him home</i>

21
00:02:14,252 --> 00:02:17,952
<i>You'll spit and taunt him</i>

22
00:02:18,674 --> 00:02:22,201
<i>But they won't believe you</i>

23
00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:26,796
<i>No matter what you say</i>

24
00:02:29,851 --> 00:02:33,420
<i>So long, child</i>

25
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:37,010
<i>It's awful dark</i>

26
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:40,971
<i>I've never felt the sun</i>

27
00:02:41,071 --> 00:02:49,445
<i>I dread to think of
when the wind blows</i>

28
00:02:50,665 --> 00:02:53,616
<i>When the wind blows</i>

29
00:02:55,086 --> 00:02:57,527
<i>When the wind blows</i>

30
00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:10,122
<i>When the wind blows</i>

31
00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:36,178
- Hello, dear.
- Hello, love.

32
00:03:36,278 --> 00:03:40,224
- Did you have a nice morning, dear?
- Oh, all right, thanks.

33
00:03:40,324 --> 00:03:42,351
Rather uneventful.

34
00:03:42,451 --> 00:03:45,645
My life isn't very
fast-moving or dynamic.

35
00:03:45,745 --> 00:03:48,520
Well, you are retired, James.

36
00:03:54,755 --> 00:03:56,782
You do seem a bit down, dear.

37
00:03:56,882 --> 00:04:01,120
Yes, well... I've been reading the papers
in the public library all the morning.

38
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:06,542
Oh, those things! Full of rubbish.
I never look at them. Except the stars.

39
00:04:06,642 --> 00:04:10,339
We must keep abreast of the
international situation, ducksie.

40
00:04:10,439 --> 00:04:14,551
Decisions made by the powers
that be will get to us in the end.

41
00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:18,014
Politics and sport,
that's all they're full of.

42
00:04:18,114 --> 00:04:21,931
Could affect us all, the...
ultimate determent, an' that.

43
00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:26,188
They say there may be a
pre-emptive strike, dear.

44
00:04:26,288 --> 00:04:28,315
Oh, not another strike!

45
00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:32,361
It's wicked! I'd have them all
locked up. Blessed communists!

46
00:04:32,461 --> 00:04:34,696
Well, it all looks pretty umpty.

47
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,283
It's not that sort of strike, duck.

48
00:04:37,383 --> 00:04:41,497
- Sausages or beefburgers, dear?
- Sausages, thanks.

49
00:04:42,513 --> 00:04:46,500
It looks as if the balloon
could go up at any moment.

50
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:48,627
What balloon?

51
00:04:48,727 --> 00:04:51,214
- Mashed or chips?
- Chips, thanks.

52
00:04:51,314 --> 00:04:53,341
Oh, I don't know.

53
00:04:53,441 --> 00:04:55,218
The balloon.

54
00:04:55,318 --> 00:04:58,721
Or is it a maroon? I can't remember.

55
00:04:58,821 --> 00:05:02,022
What are you talking about, James?

56
00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:06,148
It looks as if there's
going to be a war, dear.

57
00:05:07,998 --> 00:05:11,735
Yes, they say it might
break out at any time now.

58
00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:15,489
Well, at least you won't be
called up, James. You're far too old.

59
00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:19,618
Well, thank you, my beloved.
I'm still two years younger than you.

60
00:05:19,718 --> 00:05:21,537
Well, if the worst
comes to the worst,

61
00:05:21,637 --> 00:05:24,958
we'll just have to roll up
our sleeves, tighten our belts,

62
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:28,419
and put on our tin hats
till it's V-E Day again.

63
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:30,629
It won't be like
that this time, love.

64
00:05:30,729 --> 00:05:34,162
I think this one is called
the "Big Bang Theory."

65
00:05:34,263 --> 00:05:36,302
It's all worked out by
brilliant scientists.

66
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:39,097
Well, we survived the last one,
we can do it again.

67
00:05:39,197 --> 00:05:41,809
It'll take more than a few
bombs to get me down.

68
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:46,651
Yes, yes, we... we must...
must look on the bright side, ducks.

69
00:05:48,707 --> 00:05:52,235
- Better go over to Radio 4.
- I like Radio 2.

70
00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:56,406
Radio 4 is better for the
international situation.

71
00:05:56,506 --> 00:06:01,453
Good evening, this is Radio 4, with the
news at six o'clock this Thursday evening.

72
00:06:01,553 --> 00:06:05,624
The Prime Minister, speaking a few
minutes ago in the House of Commons,

73
00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:09,963
has warned that the international
situation is deteriorating rapidly,

74
00:06:10,063 --> 00:06:14,133
and that war could break out at any
time in the next two or three days.

75
00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:15,801
Crumbs!

76
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:18,471
What's the matter, dear?
Have you burned yourself?

77
00:06:18,571 --> 00:06:21,474
This is it, ducks! This is really it!

78
00:06:21,574 --> 00:06:23,810
Another sausage, dear?

79
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:27,480
I shouldn't worry too much.
It'll probably all blow over.

80
00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:33,486
- Three days! Blimey! Three days!
- Language, James! Language!

81
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:38,325
Crumbs! It's lucky I got more leaflets
from the public library only this morning.

82
00:06:38,425 --> 00:06:39,993
Here we are, see?

83
00:06:40,093 --> 00:06:44,706
"Protect And Survive" and...
"The Householder's Guide To Survival."

84
00:06:44,806 --> 00:06:47,167
Now, this one should
be really authoritative.

85
00:06:47,267 --> 00:06:49,086
It's printed by the County Council.

86
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:52,840
We'd better commence the construction
of a fallout shelter immediately.

87
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,508
We must do the correct thing.

88
00:06:54,608 --> 00:06:58,179
There's treacle tart and custard
or cold bread and butter pudding.

89
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:01,181
-  Treacle tart, please.
- Fallout?

90
00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:04,839
- I thought they did that in the army.
- No, dear, it's fall in in the army.

91
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:09,315
Fall in. Thank goodness I got
all those official leaflets today.

92
00:07:09,415 --> 00:07:11,192
I gave the others to our Ron.

93
00:07:11,292 --> 00:07:13,531
Suppose I hadn't?

94
00:07:14,629 --> 00:07:17,531
We'd have been totally non-prepared.
I mean, just think!

95
00:07:17,631 --> 00:07:22,329
Will you have to dig a hole, like the
old Anderson shelters in the war?

96
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:24,206
No, dear, that's all old-fashioned.

97
00:07:24,306 --> 00:07:28,418
With modern scientific methods, you just
use doors with cushions and books on top.

98
00:07:28,518 --> 00:07:31,546
Where on earth are we going
to get doors from, James?

99
00:07:31,646 --> 00:07:34,216
Well... you just
unscrew them, dear.

100
00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:37,089
You don't mean off our own house!

101
00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:40,807
Well... yes... dear.

102
00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:43,059
You're not going to ruin
the paintwork, James!

103
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:47,063
Oh, don't worry. I can soon touch
it up after the bomb's gone off.

104
00:07:47,163 --> 00:07:49,402
Well, mind you do.

105
00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:03,408
Just you be careful, James!

106
00:08:16,568 --> 00:08:19,057
Mind that paint, James!

107
00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:30,194
I hope you know what you're doing.

108
00:08:32,002 --> 00:08:35,984
I'll put the screws in a plastic bag.
You'll only go and lose them.

109
00:08:36,713 --> 00:08:40,080
Remember, they're in the
right-hand jug on the dresser.

110
00:09:54,045 --> 00:09:57,530
It's going to be very
draughty with no doors on.

111
00:09:58,424 --> 00:10:01,160
I expect it's a safety precaution.

112
00:10:01,260 --> 00:10:04,876
It'll let the...
blast go straight through.

113
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:08,001
It says here...

114
00:10:08,101 --> 00:10:15,425
"The inner core or refuge should be placed at
an angle of 60 degrees for maximum strength."

115
00:10:15,525 --> 00:10:18,428
I should place it up against
the wall, if I were you, dear.

116
00:10:18,528 --> 00:10:20,096
Yes, but which are the degrees?

117
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:22,223
We haven't got any angles.

118
00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:26,435
I think we did it at school. You...
You had angles with degrees in.

119
00:10:26,535 --> 00:10:30,437
Only I can't remember.
I think I'll ring our Ron. He'll know.

120
00:10:44,054 --> 00:10:46,957
Hello, son. All right?
Beryl and the baby?

121
00:10:47,057 --> 00:10:51,879
Good. Look, I'm building this
governmental inner core or refuge,

122
00:10:51,979 --> 00:10:55,841
and it says, "Place it at
an angle of 60 degrees."

123
00:10:55,941 --> 00:10:58,181
Well, what's that mean, exactly?

124
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,807
It's not cobblers, son.

125
00:11:01,907 --> 00:11:04,561
It's in the governmental directive.

126
00:11:05,576 --> 00:11:08,480
You mean you're not constructing
an inner core or refuge?

127
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,523
I gave you the leaflets especially!

128
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,240
But what about baby Jim?

129
00:11:14,836 --> 00:11:16,487
Don't start singing!

130
00:11:16,587 --> 00:11:20,406
What do you mean, "We'll all go
together when we go"? It's not funny.

131
00:11:21,301 --> 00:11:26,708
No, but it's our duty to carry out
governmental instructions in time of war, son.

132
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,878
Stop laughing, will you?
I'm surprised at you.

133
00:11:30,978 --> 00:11:34,048
You're supposed to be a
responsible father now.

134
00:11:35,274 --> 00:11:38,344
A protractor?
The angle at the bottom?

135
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,638
Yes, yes, I see.

136
00:11:41,738 --> 00:11:43,348
OK, son. Thanks.

137
00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:44,851
Now, listen.

138
00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:49,279
Just you start that inner core or refuge.
It's your bounden duty, son.

139
00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:51,732
Cheerio, son.

140
00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:53,861
Now, remember what I said.

141
00:11:53,961 --> 00:11:56,733
I am your father.
I do know a bit about war.

142
00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:01,119
Love to Beryl and baby Jim. Ta-ta.

143
00:12:02,594 --> 00:12:07,540
Yes... Ron says I need a protractor.
He says I can get one at Willis's.

144
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,836
He was killing himself laughing,
and he was singing songs!

145
00:12:10,936 --> 00:12:13,379
I can't understand it.
I think it's nerves.

146
00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:15,548
He's gone a bit hysterical.

147
00:12:15,648 --> 00:12:18,927
- He can't be drunk at this time of day.
- Our Ron doesn't drink.

148
00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:23,095
Oh, no, no, no. No, no,
of course not, dear.

149
00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:27,144
Ron is not going to make
an inner core or refuge.

150
00:12:27,244 --> 00:12:29,897
I remonstrated with him,
but he was adamant.

151
00:12:29,997 --> 00:12:33,234
He says if London cops it, he'll cop it.
And not to worry, Dad.

152
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:35,361
It's an irresponsible attitude.

153
00:12:35,461 --> 00:12:38,656
I'm a bit disappointed in him,
adopting that attitude.

154
00:12:38,756 --> 00:12:43,578
He was always a very responsible
boy when he was in the Cubs.

155
00:12:43,678 --> 00:12:47,413
It was going to that art
college that spoiled him.

156
00:12:48,307 --> 00:12:50,334
He met some dreadful people there.

157
00:12:50,434 --> 00:12:53,470
Huh! Blessed beatniks!

158
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:59,343
I don't suppose it'll make a terrific
amount of difference, the exact angle.

159
00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:04,265
It'll probably all fall down anyway.
What with the bomb, an' that.

160
00:13:04,365 --> 00:13:07,602
If a job's worth doing,
it's worth doing well, James.

161
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:10,940
Yes, dear. But it is only temporary.

162
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,990
After all, it'll all
be over in a flash.

163
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,221
Funny to think they were
on our side in the war.

164
00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:27,348
- Who, dear?
- The Russkies.

165
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:31,853
- With old Joe Stalin.
- Yes, he was a nice chap.

166
00:13:31,953 --> 00:13:33,981
I liked him.

167
00:13:34,081 --> 00:13:36,108
Like an uncle, he was.

168
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,568
I liked his moustache and his pipe.

169
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:42,114
Yeah. Roosevelt was nice, too.

170
00:13:42,214 --> 00:13:43,782
There was three of them.

171
00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:47,995
Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin.

172
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,122
All good blokes.

173
00:13:50,222 --> 00:13:56,711
With old Hitler, Goering and Musso,
and all that lot, on the other side.

174
00:14:00,357 --> 00:14:02,680
You somehow knew where you were then.

175
00:14:03,569 --> 00:14:05,888
I don't even know who the
people are these days.

176
00:14:05,988 --> 00:14:08,933
I expect it's all done
by committees, dear.

177
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:13,104
Yes, and meetings. I expect they
have loads and loads of meetings,

178
00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:15,443
and thus arrive at decisions.

179
00:14:15,999 --> 00:14:17,442
Commuters, too.

180
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,569
They all use commuters these days.

181
00:14:19,669 --> 00:14:22,030
It's got very impersonal.

182
00:14:22,130 --> 00:14:26,660
Churchill with his cigar,
old Stalin with his moustache...

183
00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,787
you knew where you stood.

184
00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:30,956
Do you think they'll invade?

185
00:14:31,056 --> 00:14:33,542
Oh, no, no. Won't need to.

186
00:14:33,642 --> 00:14:35,669
It'll all be done by missiles.

187
00:14:35,769 --> 00:14:37,796
Long... range.

188
00:14:37,896 --> 00:14:40,967
Then they'll instil commuters
to take charge of us.

189
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:44,681
It's funny to think there's
no shelters this time.

190
00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:47,598
We had an old Anderson in the garden.

191
00:14:47,698 --> 00:14:49,518
I can see it now.

192
00:14:49,618 --> 00:14:52,269
We had nasturtiums
growing all over it.

193
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,609
And we painted the front green.

194
00:14:55,915 --> 00:14:57,907
Painted, it looked quite pretty.

195
00:14:58,751 --> 00:15:00,862
Next door grew cabbages on theirs.

196
00:15:00,962 --> 00:15:02,989
Yes. We had a Morrison.

197
00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:05,908
Hm, I used to sleep in it.

198
00:15:06,008 --> 00:15:08,495
I stuck pin-up girls
all over the inside.

199
00:15:08,595 --> 00:15:11,873
Betty Grable,
Anne Shelton, Patricia Roc.

200
00:15:11,973 --> 00:15:15,673
The roof got all smoky, cos I used
to read in bed with a candle.

201
00:15:16,728 --> 00:15:20,090
Yes, it was nice in the war, really.

202
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:24,470
The shelters, the blackouts,
cups of tea...

203
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:27,389
The ARP, the evacuees.

204
00:15:27,489 --> 00:15:30,602
London kids seeing
cows for the first time.

205
00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:33,270
Old Churchill on the wireless.

206
00:15:33,370 --> 00:15:35,105
The nine o'clock news.

207
00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:39,569
- Vera Lynn singing away.
- Worker's Playtime.

208
00:15:39,669 --> 00:15:43,534
Spitfires and Hurricanes in the
blue sky over the cornfields.

209
00:15:44,924 --> 00:15:47,452
The White Cliffs of Dover.

210
00:15:47,552 --> 00:15:50,243
Old Jerry coming over every night.

211
00:15:50,972 --> 00:15:53,710
Those were the days.

212
00:15:58,564 --> 00:16:02,463
Don't you dare use my best
cushions from the front room!

213
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,180
I'll get some old ones from upstairs.

214
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,519
I'll put them in plastic bags.

215
00:16:09,408 --> 00:16:12,394
I don't want fingermarks
getting all over them.

216
00:16:12,494 --> 00:16:14,062
I shouldn't worry too much, love.

217
00:16:14,162 --> 00:16:17,281
They're bound to get dusty with
all the fallout coming down.

218
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:23,739
It says here we've got to lay
in food supplies for 14 days.

219
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:26,701
I'd better put a note out
for 28 pints of milk, then.

220
00:16:26,801 --> 00:16:31,046
I'll just pop out and get 14 loaves,
dear! And a protractor.

221
00:16:32,515 --> 00:16:34,755
Anything else you want?

222
00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:38,626
I'll need more plastic bags, dear!

223
00:16:52,536 --> 00:16:54,814
There's no bread, ducks! Sold out.

224
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:57,441
There seems to be some
sort of panic purchasing.

225
00:16:57,541 --> 00:16:59,568
It can't be helped, dear.

226
00:16:59,668 --> 00:17:01,695
After all, there is a war on.

227
00:17:01,795 --> 00:17:04,035
Or nearly, anyway.

228
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:07,909
I hope you haven't left that cape
dripping in the hall, James!

229
00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:09,787
Oh, no, dear.

230
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:14,832
Mr Willis has sold out of protractors.
I expect everyone wants 60 degrees.

231
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,378
He was terrifically kind, Mr Willis.

232
00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:20,465
He cut me out a bit of card
with 60 degrees on it. Look.

233
00:17:20,565 --> 00:17:22,341
Oh! Nice, dear.

234
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:24,678
Here's the emergency supplies, ducks.

235
00:17:24,778 --> 00:17:27,931
Two packets of ginger creams,
half a jam sponge,

236
00:17:28,031 --> 00:17:31,142
a tin of pineapple chunks
and a tin of Christmas pud.

237
00:17:31,242 --> 00:17:33,600
It'll all be over by Christmas.

238
00:17:36,039 --> 00:17:41,320
- You're not decorating now, James!
- We've got to paint the windows white, dear.

239
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:44,532
- Whatever for?
- It's for the radiation, I think.

240
00:17:44,632 --> 00:17:49,412
Like they do in greenhouses, to keep
out the sun. It's the correct thing.

241
00:17:49,512 --> 00:17:53,416
- It won't be that hot, surely!
- Well, I don't know.

242
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:58,128
They say the one at Hiroshima
was equal to one thousand suns.

243
00:17:58,228 --> 00:18:00,089
So it is quite hot.

244
00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:04,301
And besides, the powers that be
are making much better ones now.

245
00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:09,098
Science has leaped forward
with giant strides. Oops!

246
00:18:09,198 --> 00:18:11,768
Mind you don't get paint
on those curtains, James.

247
00:18:11,868 --> 00:18:14,986
You should have taken them
down first. You never think.

248
00:18:15,872 --> 00:18:18,112
I know that smile of yours, James.

249
00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:27,374
"Keep doors closed to prevent
the spread of fire", it says.

250
00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:31,539
- But you've taken off half the doors, James.
- Yes, dear.

251
00:18:31,639 --> 00:18:33,749
Won't that make the fire worse, then?

252
00:18:35,225 --> 00:18:37,127
Well, I...

253
00:18:37,227 --> 00:18:39,753
Perhaps the blast will
blow the fire out.

254
00:18:41,189 --> 00:18:43,426
Well... Hm!

255
00:18:43,526 --> 00:18:47,138
The inner core or refuge looks
quite cosy, doesn't it, dear?

256
00:18:47,238 --> 00:18:51,142
I hope those doors aren't
marking the wallpaper, James.

257
00:18:51,242 --> 00:18:54,016
Come in and try it out, dear. Please.

258
00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:03,029
Whoa! Careful! Careful!
You'll have it over!

259
00:19:03,129 --> 00:19:05,574
Budge up, can't you, James?

260
00:19:05,674 --> 00:19:09,828
Couldn't you have
made it a bit... wider?

261
00:19:09,928 --> 00:19:16,168
It's... It's constructed in compliance
with the governmental specifications, dear.

262
00:19:16,268 --> 00:19:19,379
Well, they might have made it
wide enough for two people.

263
00:19:19,479 --> 00:19:22,257
- Suppose you were married?
- We are married, dear.

264
00:19:22,357 --> 00:19:24,301
Yes, well there you are, then.

265
00:19:25,694 --> 00:19:27,721
Oh!

266
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:31,350
What about if you had children?
Where would they go?

267
00:19:31,450 --> 00:19:36,146
Oh, well, you'd just hold them in
your arms. They'd soon fall asleep.

268
00:19:36,246 --> 00:19:38,608
Suppose they were 17 or 18?

269
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:42,820
Big boys with bristly chins
and big boots on. Skinheads.

270
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,115
Well, in that case, you'd...

271
00:19:46,215 --> 00:19:48,367
just add a few more doors.

272
00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:52,204
There's... no wall
space for more doors.

273
00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:54,331
Oh. No.

274
00:19:54,431 --> 00:19:58,416
Well, our Ron was never
a skinhead, anyway.

275
00:20:00,815 --> 00:20:03,383
What on earth are you putting
the food in there for?

276
00:20:03,483 --> 00:20:05,511
Well, that's where it's got to be.

277
00:20:05,611 --> 00:20:08,639
But why can't it stay in
the larder and fridge?

278
00:20:08,739 --> 00:20:13,060
Because we must not emerge for the
14 days of the national emergency.

279
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:16,980
You're not saying we've got to stay
in that thing for two weeks, are you?

280
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,775
Yes, dear. Ours not to reason why.

281
00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,903
Now we must do the correct thing.

282
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,030
Well, what about the cooking, then?

283
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,740
How do I get to the cooker?

284
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,826
We'll just have to use the
little picnic stove, dear.

285
00:20:28,926 --> 00:20:31,621
- What about the toilet?
- Well...

286
00:20:31,721 --> 00:20:34,373
Well, we'll have to have
a potty, or something.

287
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:37,126
I can tell you now, James Bloggs,

288
00:20:37,226 --> 00:20:40,755
that I am going to go upstairs
in the proper manner.

289
00:20:40,855 --> 00:20:45,511
But you mustn't emerge, dear. Not for
the 14 days of the national emergency.

290
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:48,430
All right, then, how are you
going to empty the chamber pot?

291
00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:52,100
Well, we just have to empty
it down the toilet, I suppose.

292
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,228
- You just said we couldn't go to the toilet.
- Oh. Yes.

293
00:20:55,328 --> 00:20:56,938
Well... Yeah, well,

294
00:20:57,038 --> 00:21:00,151
Now, we'd better not cross our
bridges till we come to them, eh?

295
00:21:00,251 --> 00:21:03,321
Look on the bright side, eh, ducks?

296
00:21:03,754 --> 00:21:08,913
Six, five, zero, zero, six, ten...

297
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:15,708
It says here, "Two pints of
water per person per day."

298
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,377
I wonder if we've got enough bottles.

299
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,920
I'll have a look under
the stairs, dear.

300
00:21:31,616 --> 00:21:34,394
I've measured the water
into the bottles, James.

301
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:37,063
I've labelled them so we
don't get in a muddle.

302
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,190
Oh, good. That's nice, dear.

303
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:42,402
You're very efficient in a
national emergency, dearest.

304
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:44,743
Get on with you!

305
00:21:46,591 --> 00:21:49,577
It says here, "D: Miscellaneous:

306
00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:52,497
Salt, tomato ketchup and sauces,

307
00:21:52,597 --> 00:21:58,085
pepper, matches, toilet paper,
disinfectant, vitamin tablets,

308
00:21:58,185 --> 00:22:01,297
tin opener, knives, forks, spoons."

309
00:22:01,397 --> 00:22:04,348
Funny. No plates.

310
00:22:08,780 --> 00:22:11,015
- What's all that, dear?
- I don't know.

311
00:22:11,115 --> 00:22:14,684
It's called "miscellaneous."
Pass it in, please.

312
00:22:15,537 --> 00:22:17,777
- Funny.
- What, dear?

313
00:22:18,456 --> 00:22:23,612
In the governmental leaflet, it says,
"Remove thin materials from windows."

314
00:22:23,712 --> 00:22:28,534
And in the County Council leaflet, it says,
"Hang white sheets in the windows."

315
00:22:28,634 --> 00:22:30,411
I wonder which is correct.

316
00:22:30,511 --> 00:22:33,079
Oh! It says peanut butter.

317
00:22:33,179 --> 00:22:36,250
We haven't got any. Oh, dear.

318
00:22:36,350 --> 00:22:38,918
Never mind, ducks.
I don't like it, nor do you.

319
00:22:39,019 --> 00:22:42,840
No, but it's on the official list.
Oh, dear.

320
00:22:42,940 --> 00:22:44,967
Now, don't worry, love.

321
00:22:45,067 --> 00:22:47,095
I expect we'll survive without it.

322
00:22:47,195 --> 00:22:49,932
It'll probably go runny
in the heat, anyway.

323
00:22:50,865 --> 00:22:53,518
You get terrific heat with
these bombs, you know.

324
00:22:53,618 --> 00:22:57,146
Mind you, diet is very important.

325
00:22:57,246 --> 00:23:00,734
You are what you... eat.

326
00:23:00,834 --> 00:23:04,533
And the survival of
the fittest, an' that. Whoa!

327
00:23:05,421 --> 00:23:10,868
That's why so many people... are jogging
and eating lots of All-Bran, I expect.

328
00:23:10,968 --> 00:23:15,712
Only the fittest will survive the
outcome of the nuclear holocaust.

329
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,168
They eat lots of beans, too.

330
00:23:18,268 --> 00:23:20,295
They give you wind, beans do.

331
00:23:20,395 --> 00:23:23,340
You certainly shouldn't
eat beans, James.

332
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,468
Let's not get personal, ducks.

333
00:23:25,568 --> 00:23:28,722
I'm trying to have a
scientific discussion.

334
00:23:32,283 --> 00:23:37,187
If there really is going to be a war,
who do you think will win?

335
00:23:37,287 --> 00:23:41,316
Well, the Americans have
tactile nuclear superiority,

336
00:23:41,416 --> 00:23:44,904
due to their IBMs and
their polar submarines.

337
00:23:45,004 --> 00:23:47,824
But in the event of a
pre-emptive strike,

338
00:23:47,924 --> 00:23:53,245
innumerate Russian hordes will sweep
across the plains of Central Europe.

339
00:23:53,345 --> 00:23:56,332
Then the US Technical Air
Force will come roaring in

340
00:23:56,432 --> 00:24:02,172
with their Superhawks, B-17 s and B-19s,
bristling with guns! Terrifically armed!

341
00:24:02,272 --> 00:24:04,883
"OK, you guys! Let's go!"

342
00:24:04,983 --> 00:24:07,636
They'd razor the Russky
defences to the ground.

343
00:24:07,736 --> 00:24:11,223
Then the marines would parachute
in and round up the population.

344
00:24:11,323 --> 00:24:15,310
After that, the big generals would
go over... like... Ike and Monty.

345
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:19,732
Then the Russians would capitulate,
and there would be a condition of surrender.

346
00:24:19,832 --> 00:24:22,985
Then they'd instil free
and fair elections.

347
00:24:23,085 --> 00:24:25,029
One man, one vote.

348
00:24:25,129 --> 00:24:27,239
And women too, nowadays, of course.

349
00:24:27,339 --> 00:24:31,243
And thus, the Communist threat to
the Free World would be neutrified,

350
00:24:31,343 --> 00:24:34,748
and democratic principles would
be instilled throughout Russia,

351
00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:36,416
whether they liked it or not.

352
00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:40,587
That's the world scenario as I
see it, at this moment in time.

353
00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:45,091
- Monty. Wasn't he in the war?
- Well, of course he was.

354
00:24:45,191 --> 00:24:46,927
He practically won it.

355
00:24:47,027 --> 00:24:49,054
You remember, dear.

356
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:51,181
Big beret with badges on it.

357
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:54,233
Tanks. The Desert Rats. El Alamo.

358
00:24:57,037 --> 00:24:59,941
But that was ages ago, dear.

359
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:03,359
Yes, well, I expect
he's getting on a bit.

360
00:25:03,459 --> 00:25:05,488
Probably been promoted.

361
00:25:05,588 --> 00:25:06,989
More likely dead.

362
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:09,701
Monty dead? Never!

363
00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:13,997
I'll bet he is. It's about
40 years since the war.

364
00:25:14,097 --> 00:25:16,336
And he had a moustache then!

365
00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:19,627
Who's in charge now, then?

366
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:22,296
Oh, one of those commuters, I expect.

367
00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:26,718
It says here, "Place your
National Savings Certificates,

368
00:25:26,818 --> 00:25:29,930
medical cards and birth
certificates in a box."

369
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:33,683
Here's a nice box, dear.
I'll give it a good clean-out.

370
00:25:33,783 --> 00:25:35,810
Oh, thanks.

371
00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:38,435
We'd... better keep
it in a safe place.

372
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,988
I wonder what would be a safe place.

373
00:25:55,056 --> 00:25:57,625
Who's in charge of
the Russians, dear?

374
00:25:57,725 --> 00:25:59,752
Oh... it's...

375
00:25:59,852 --> 00:26:01,879
Shavinsky, isn't it?

376
00:26:01,979 --> 00:26:04,088
Or... Molotov.

377
00:26:05,149 --> 00:26:08,428
No. Molotov's just
a cocktail, I think.

378
00:26:08,528 --> 00:26:11,346
Krushef. Yes, that's right.

379
00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:13,474
B and K.

380
00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:15,685
Bulgania and Krushef, that's them.

381
00:26:15,785 --> 00:26:19,188
And that bloke Marx has got
something to do with it.

382
00:26:20,498 --> 00:26:23,026
What are you doing, dear?

383
00:26:23,126 --> 00:26:27,740
Blocking out the windows, in compliance
with the governmental directive.

384
00:26:28,633 --> 00:26:30,660
It's the correct thing.

385
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,330
Yes. Then there's the...
usual committee, of course,

386
00:26:35,430 --> 00:26:39,043
the Common Term, they call it...
the Soviet Supreme.

387
00:26:39,143 --> 00:26:41,795
They're in charge of the BJ Kee.

388
00:26:41,895 --> 00:26:45,174
That's the Secret Service.
SS for short.

389
00:26:45,274 --> 00:26:48,051
Our lot is called EMI-5.

390
00:26:48,151 --> 00:26:50,722
Oh, it's all very complicated, ducks.

391
00:26:50,822 --> 00:26:53,892
Well, mind you don't
scratch the polish!

392
00:26:56,077 --> 00:26:59,355
Is it any good writing him
a letter, do you think?

393
00:26:59,455 --> 00:27:05,111
- Who, dear?
- This leader. BJ Whatshisname.

394
00:27:05,211 --> 00:27:08,449
- What are you going to say, dear?
- Oh, I don't know.

395
00:27:08,549 --> 00:27:11,494
Dear Sir,

396
00:27:11,594 --> 00:27:14,747
Mr B J thing...

397
00:27:14,847 --> 00:27:18,751
We, the people of Britain,
are fed up with being bombed.

398
00:27:18,851 --> 00:27:24,756
We had enough of it last time, with old
Hitler, so will you just leave us in peace?

399
00:27:24,856 --> 00:27:27,677
You live your life
and we'll live ours.

400
00:27:27,777 --> 00:27:29,470
Hope you are well.

401
00:27:29,570 --> 00:27:34,729
Please don't drop any bombs.
Yours sincerely, Mr and Mrs J Bloggs.

402
00:27:35,451 --> 00:27:38,647
Very good, dear. Very nice. Yes.

403
00:27:38,747 --> 00:27:40,774
You might be a bit late for the post.

404
00:27:40,874 --> 00:27:43,108
You know what the
post is like these days.

405
00:27:43,208 --> 00:27:45,449
First class might just get there.

406
00:27:46,713 --> 00:27:48,740
But I must do this list.

407
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:55,747
"Dustbin, calendar, books, games, paper,
pencils, shovel, spade, crowbar, axe, hatchet,

408
00:27:55,847 --> 00:27:58,542
saw, whistle and/or gong for alarms,

409
00:27:58,642 --> 00:28:01,586
suitcases for furniture
or evacuation,

410
00:28:01,686 --> 00:28:03,927
string, pliers...

411
00:28:05,065 --> 00:28:10,429
first-aid kits, safety pins, scissors,
flints, aspirins, diarrhoea remedy,

412
00:28:10,529 --> 00:28:15,309
tweezers, calamine lotion,
war crisis editions, lice-flea powder,

413
00:28:15,409 --> 00:28:18,353
rodent poison, insulin,
blood-pressure tablets,

414
00:28:18,453 --> 00:28:22,866
rubber gloves, sanitary towels,
mirror, toilet paper, eyewash."

415
00:28:24,127 --> 00:28:26,487
I wonder if it's true
about the paper bags.

416
00:28:26,587 --> 00:28:28,823
Or is it a joke?

417
00:28:28,923 --> 00:28:31,246
I never know if it's
just a joke or not.

418
00:28:32,218 --> 00:28:34,245
What's that, dear?

419
00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:40,001
Well, they say you should get into a
paper bag just before the bomb goes off.

420
00:28:40,101 --> 00:28:42,128
Whatever for?

421
00:28:43,689 --> 00:28:48,176
I suppose it's like the white paint.
It... deflects the heat a bit.

422
00:28:48,276 --> 00:28:52,514
- Sounds silly to me.
- There are some paper bags.

423
00:28:52,614 --> 00:28:56,519
We had spuds from the farm in them.
There should be four.

424
00:28:56,619 --> 00:28:59,391
They'll be filthy, James.

425
00:29:00,288 --> 00:29:03,609
Are you sure your
bag is clean, James?

426
00:29:03,709 --> 00:29:07,408
Yes, dear, I...
cleaned it thoroughly.

427
00:29:10,299 --> 00:29:14,454
You do look silly!

428
00:29:14,554 --> 00:29:18,454
I wonder if it's all
right to have eyeholes.

429
00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:22,211
They say it's the correct
thing to wear white.

430
00:29:22,311 --> 00:29:26,841
People in Hiroshima with patterned clothes
got burned where the pattern was,

431
00:29:26,941 --> 00:29:28,969
and not so much on the white bits.

432
00:29:29,069 --> 00:29:30,679
Even the buttons showed up.

433
00:29:30,779 --> 00:29:33,018
Yes, but they were Japanese.

434
00:29:34,449 --> 00:29:37,185
Is there a clean white shirt,
dear, ready for the bomb?

435
00:29:37,285 --> 00:29:41,106
You're not going to wear that nice
new one I gave you for Christmas!

436
00:29:41,206 --> 00:29:42,983
I don't want that spoiled.

437
00:29:43,083 --> 00:29:46,820
You can wear your old clothes for the
bomb and save the best for afterwards.

438
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:51,033
All right, dear. Well, is there an
old white one, without stripes?

439
00:29:51,133 --> 00:29:52,826
I don't want stripes all over me.

440
00:29:52,926 --> 00:29:54,953
I've never heard such nonsense.

441
00:29:55,053 --> 00:29:58,248
We didn't think what colour
clothes we had on in the war.

442
00:29:58,348 --> 00:30:01,919
Lucky to have any clothes at all,
with everything on coupons.

443
00:30:02,019 --> 00:30:06,006
We interrupt this programme for an
official government announcement.

444
00:30:06,106 --> 00:30:09,301
An enemy missile attack has been
launched against this country.

445
00:30:09,401 --> 00:30:11,930
It is estimated that the missiles

446
00:30:12,030 --> 00:30:15,266
will arrive in approximately
three minutes. Three minutes.

447
00:30:15,366 --> 00:30:18,061
God almighty, ducks!
There's only three minutes to go!

448
00:30:18,161 --> 00:30:20,063
Oh, dear. I'll just
put the washing on.

449
00:30:20,163 --> 00:30:22,941
Come back, you stupid bitch,
and get in the shelter!

450
00:30:23,041 --> 00:30:26,403
- How dare you talk to me like that, James!
- Shut up and get in!

451
00:30:26,503 --> 00:30:29,698
There's no need to forget our manners
just because there's a war on.

452
00:30:29,798 --> 00:30:31,324
Shut up! I'm trying to listen!

453
00:30:31,424 --> 00:30:33,243
Take shelter immediately.

454
00:30:33,343 --> 00:30:35,551
I've never heard such
language in all my life.

455
00:30:35,652 --> 00:30:39,417
- For God's sake, shut up!
- Oh, dear! I've left the oven on!

456
00:30:39,517 --> 00:30:41,544
Get in! Get in! Get in!

457
00:30:41,644 --> 00:30:43,254
The cake will be burned!

458
00:30:43,354 --> 00:30:46,340
Lie down. Keep away from windows.

459
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,468
Cover your head and eyes.

460
00:30:48,568 --> 00:30:51,513
Do not look at the sky
or through windows.

461
00:30:51,613 --> 00:30:54,223
Take shelter immediately.

462
00:30:54,323 --> 00:30:56,559
Repeat. % stay indoors.

463
00:30:56,659 --> 00:30:59,397
Do not leave your home.

464
00:31:23,645 --> 00:31:25,803
The cake will be be burned!

465
00:31:54,969 --> 00:31:57,210
The cake will be burned!

466
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,319
Blimey!

467
00:33:46,334 --> 00:33:50,912
- Blimey!
- Well I never!

468
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,662
Well, I... I suppose... that was it.

469
00:33:55,762 --> 00:33:58,001
I should think so.

470
00:33:58,890 --> 00:34:01,129
Blimey!

471
00:34:02,268 --> 00:34:04,295
You all right, dear?

472
00:34:04,395 --> 00:34:06,634
Yes, thanks, love.

473
00:34:08,023 --> 00:34:09,932
Oh, dear.

474
00:34:10,819 --> 00:34:12,846
I do feel all shaky.

475
00:34:12,946 --> 00:34:14,973
Never mind, ducks.

476
00:34:15,073 --> 00:34:17,846
We're... We're still
in one piece, eh?

477
00:34:18,743 --> 00:34:20,686
Yes, I think so.

478
00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:24,817
- Wasn't it light?
- Yes.

479
00:34:24,917 --> 00:34:26,944
Terrific.

480
00:34:27,044 --> 00:34:30,739
You get terrific light
with these bombs.

481
00:34:30,839 --> 00:34:33,742
- The heat!
- I know.

482
00:34:33,842 --> 00:34:35,417
Phew!

483
00:34:36,469 --> 00:34:38,710
It's still hot now.

484
00:34:39,974 --> 00:34:43,252
I wonder how far we are
away from the epicentre.

485
00:34:43,352 --> 00:34:46,387
Or was it the hypocentre?

486
00:34:47,565 --> 00:34:49,133
I can't remember.

487
00:34:49,233 --> 00:34:50,926
What's that, dear?

488
00:34:51,026 --> 00:34:56,103
Well, it's the centre of it all. You know,
the... the bull's-eye, sort of.

489
00:34:57,033 --> 00:35:00,228
Bang in the middle. Or...
Or middle of the bang, rather.

490
00:35:00,328 --> 00:35:03,607
I should think we were
bang in the middle, dear.

491
00:35:03,707 --> 00:35:05,946
A direct hit.

492
00:35:07,002 --> 00:35:09,154
Oh, just look at all that glass.

493
00:35:09,254 --> 00:35:12,324
No, no, it couldn't have
been a direct hit, dear.

494
00:35:12,424 --> 00:35:16,746
We would have sustained greater damage
and suffered greater casualties.

495
00:35:16,846 --> 00:35:21,542
Don't talk to me about damage.
Just look at those curtains!

496
00:35:21,642 --> 00:35:25,463
Yes, but it would have been much
worse at the epi-hypo thing, dear.

497
00:35:25,563 --> 00:35:28,924
I don't see how it could
have been much worse.

498
00:35:29,024 --> 00:35:31,263
I'll never get them clean.

499
00:35:32,486 --> 00:35:36,265
I'll give them a good soak tonight.
Blessed Germans!

500
00:35:36,365 --> 00:35:38,605
Russkies, dear.

501
00:35:40,036 --> 00:35:43,607
Mm! The shelter stood
up well, didn't it?

502
00:35:43,707 --> 00:35:47,944
I constructed it in compliance
with governmental specifications.

503
00:35:48,044 --> 00:35:52,615
- I hope the cushions aren't spoiled.
- I think some of them blew off in the blast.

504
00:35:52,715 --> 00:35:54,784
I do like nice cushions.

505
00:35:54,884 --> 00:35:57,788
Yes, but there's more important
things at the moment, ducks.

506
00:35:57,888 --> 00:36:01,338
And curtains. Cushions and curtains.

507
00:36:02,226 --> 00:36:04,795
I'd better get out and
put them in soak now.

508
00:36:04,895 --> 00:36:09,091
- Stay in! Dear.
- Don't you shout at me, James.

509
00:36:09,191 --> 00:36:11,594
But it's the whole point, dearest.

510
00:36:11,694 --> 00:36:14,013
This is what the shelter's for.

511
00:36:14,113 --> 00:36:16,474
But the blessed bomb
has gone off already.

512
00:36:16,574 --> 00:36:20,478
Yes, but the fallout is
falling out now. See?

513
00:36:20,578 --> 00:36:22,521
No, I don't see.

514
00:36:23,247 --> 00:36:25,570
I can't see any soppy fallout.

515
00:36:26,333 --> 00:36:27,861
I'm getting out.

516
00:36:27,961 --> 00:36:30,989
- Just look at all that mess!
- No. No!

517
00:36:31,089 --> 00:36:34,909
We must stay in.
We must do the correct thing.

518
00:36:35,009 --> 00:36:36,369
Come on, now.

519
00:36:36,469 --> 00:36:40,417
It's late. Let's get to bed.

520
00:36:47,022 --> 00:36:50,718
Whatever is this box
of sand for, James?

521
00:36:50,818 --> 00:36:54,053
It had better not be for
what I think it's for.

522
00:36:54,153 --> 00:36:58,058
I've told you what I think
about that subject already.

523
00:36:58,158 --> 00:37:01,692
Bomb or no bomb, Hitler or no Hitler,

524
00:37:01,793 --> 00:37:04,565
I'm going to go to the
toilet in the proper manner!

525
00:37:04,665 --> 00:37:07,067
No, dear, it's not an earth tray.

526
00:37:07,167 --> 00:37:10,571
The governmental directive says
it's for cleaning plates, an'that.

527
00:37:10,671 --> 00:37:12,698
Cleaning plates?

528
00:37:12,798 --> 00:37:17,119
Why shouldn't we wash them properly,
and dry them on a nice clean tea towel?

529
00:37:17,219 --> 00:37:20,790
We washed up properly
all through the war.

530
00:37:20,890 --> 00:37:25,336
Well, it's to conserve emergency
water supplies, dear.

531
00:37:25,436 --> 00:37:28,591
What is the world coming to?

532
00:37:28,691 --> 00:37:32,341
- You see, dear...
- Tuck my feet in.

533
00:37:33,361 --> 00:37:36,098
My old mother would
have a fit if she knew.

534
00:37:36,198 --> 00:37:39,309
- Yes, but...
- Drying plates in an earth tray!

535
00:37:39,409 --> 00:37:42,647
Catch me eating off a
plate covered in sand!

536
00:37:42,747 --> 00:37:44,774
You'd be the first to complain.

537
00:37:44,874 --> 00:37:46,859
Dear...

538
00:37:46,959 --> 00:37:52,198
A bit of grit in your winkles and you're
spitting and splattering all over the place.

539
00:37:52,298 --> 00:37:58,417
Tomorrow, you can put that thing outside
for someone's cat, where it belongs.

540
00:38:03,142 --> 00:38:05,382
Ooh-er!

541
00:38:06,270 --> 00:38:11,215
I'm getting fed up stuck in this thing!
I want to get out and tidy up!

542
00:38:12,993 --> 00:38:16,298
Just look at all that mess out there!

543
00:38:16,598 --> 00:38:18,958
We must do the correct thing, dear.

544
00:38:19,058 --> 00:38:23,171
We must remain in the
inner core or refuge.

545
00:38:23,271 --> 00:38:25,841
Ours not to reason why.

546
00:38:25,941 --> 00:38:29,845
Our but to... something or other.

547
00:38:29,945 --> 00:38:33,932
It tells you about this problem in the
County Council directive. I'll show you.

548
00:38:34,032 --> 00:38:36,401
Let's see. Where is it?

549
00:38:36,501 --> 00:38:37,828
Ah, yes. Here we are.

550
00:38:37,928 --> 00:38:44,794
"During this period, reduced external stimuli
may produce problems of group behaviour."

551
00:38:44,894 --> 00:38:46,796
Oh, yes, I see, dear.

552
00:38:46,896 --> 00:38:50,675
"Steps to combat this may
include the following:

553
00:38:50,775 --> 00:38:54,219
At intervals,
stimulate group activities."

554
00:38:54,319 --> 00:38:57,891
Don't you dare start stimulating, James!
I'm not in the mood.

555
00:38:57,991 --> 00:38:59,476
No, dear!

556
00:38:59,576 --> 00:39:01,853
It means discussions, an' that.

557
00:39:01,953 --> 00:39:06,696
It says, "Discussions, card games,
story-telling, quizzes, etcetera."

558
00:39:08,043 --> 00:39:10,361
Perhaps we'd better
try story-telling.

559
00:39:10,461 --> 00:39:12,489
You tell me one.

560
00:39:12,589 --> 00:39:15,700
No, I can't. I'd feel funny.

561
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,827
You're not a baby.

562
00:39:17,927 --> 00:39:21,579
- Well, pretend I am.
- Don't be silly.

563
00:39:22,558 --> 00:39:24,585
- Go on.
- No.

564
00:39:24,685 --> 00:39:26,712
You tell me one.

565
00:39:26,812 --> 00:39:29,337
- I don't know any.
- There you are, then.

566
00:39:30,983 --> 00:39:33,010
What about a quiz?

567
00:39:33,110 --> 00:39:37,932
- I spy with my little eye...
- Oh, not that. It's childish, James.

568
00:39:38,032 --> 00:39:43,688
Or it says here, "Discuss the
changed conditions after an attack,

569
00:39:43,788 --> 00:39:48,192
and consider how to
overcome or adapt to them."

570
00:39:48,292 --> 00:39:51,488
Well... et's start on that one, dear.

571
00:39:51,588 --> 00:39:53,949
Who's going to start
the ball rolling, eh?

572
00:39:54,049 --> 00:39:55,742
Shall I kick off, eh? Eh?

573
00:39:55,842 --> 00:39:57,869
Right. Here goes.

574
00:39:59,304 --> 00:40:04,418
I think... we could overcome the
changed conditions after an attack

575
00:40:04,518 --> 00:40:07,171
by... all pulling our weight,

576
00:40:07,271 --> 00:40:09,298
putting our shoulders to the wheel,

577
00:40:09,398 --> 00:40:14,052
so that we all pull together,
now that our backs are against the wall.

578
00:40:14,152 --> 00:40:16,556
And we can show these Jerries...

579
00:40:16,656 --> 00:40:19,767
I mean Russkies,
just what we think of them.

580
00:40:19,867 --> 00:40:23,729
And... Well, that's all, I think.

581
00:40:23,829 --> 00:40:27,980
Hooray, James!
You ought to be a politician.

582
00:40:30,795 --> 00:40:35,573
It says, "Reading aloud to
pass the time is a good idea."

583
00:40:37,678 --> 00:40:40,456
It's a good job I got this
book from the public library.

584
00:40:40,556 --> 00:40:43,374
It's called "Armageddon And You."

585
00:40:43,474 --> 00:40:47,045
There's a terrific bit in it
about Western defences.

586
00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:49,172
Now, just listen to this.

587
00:40:49,272 --> 00:40:52,551
"There are three B.M.E. Ws...

588
00:40:52,651 --> 00:40:55,721
Ballistic Missile Early
Warning systems.

589
00:40:55,821 --> 00:41:02,644
One P.R.C. S... Perimeter Acquisition
Radar Attack Characterisation System.

590
00:41:02,744 --> 00:41:07,567
Then there's N.O.R.A. D...
North American Air Defense.

591
00:41:07,667 --> 00:41:11,154
And J.S. S...
Joint Surveillance System.

592
00:41:11,254 --> 00:41:16,325
And then seven R.O.C. Cs...
Regional Operation Control Centres.

593
00:41:16,425 --> 00:41:21,623
Then there's N.A.D.G. E...
Nato Air Defence Ground Environment,

594
00:41:21,723 --> 00:41:27,629
and several A. W.C. S...
Airborne Warning and Control Systems.

595
00:41:27,729 --> 00:41:33,176
All this is controlled by the N.C. A...
National Command Authority,

596
00:41:33,276 --> 00:41:38,766
by means of the N.M.C. S...
National Military Command System.

597
00:41:38,866 --> 00:41:43,353
And A.M.C. C...
Alternative Military Command Centre.

598
00:41:43,453 --> 00:41:48,275
And N.E.A.C. C... National Emergency
Airborne Command Centre.

599
00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:56,239
And it all comes under W. W.M.C.C. S...
Worldwide Military Command & Control System.

600
00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:04,793
We should be all right with that
lot looking after us, eh, ducks?

601
00:42:04,893 --> 00:42:07,462
Well, it didn't stop them
from bombing us, did it?

602
00:42:07,562 --> 00:42:11,257
Oh... well, no...
I suppose not, really.

603
00:42:11,357 --> 00:42:14,595
Still, just think,
it might have been worse.

604
00:42:14,695 --> 00:42:16,971
Got to look on the
bright side, ducks.

605
00:42:17,906 --> 00:42:22,811
Besides, another thing the powers
that be have created is called M.A.D.

606
00:42:22,911 --> 00:42:25,105
- Mad?
- Yes, M.A.D.

607
00:42:25,205 --> 00:42:28,484
M.A.D. Mutal Assured Destruction.

608
00:42:28,584 --> 00:42:30,694
I read about it in
the public library.

609
00:42:30,794 --> 00:42:34,156
I think my old dad was in the
Mutual Assured Insurance.

610
00:42:34,256 --> 00:42:38,327
- A penny a week it was, in those days.
- This isn't insurance, ducks.

611
00:42:38,427 --> 00:42:41,163
I think it covered the
cost of the funeral.

612
00:42:41,263 --> 00:42:43,708
Yes, well, I suppose this is similar.

613
00:42:43,808 --> 00:42:45,835
It all comes out of our taxes.

614
00:42:45,935 --> 00:42:48,590
He had a lovely funeral, our dad.

615
00:42:49,939 --> 00:42:52,925
You don't pay any taxes now.
You're retired, James.

616
00:42:53,025 --> 00:42:55,052
No, I'm fully paid up.

617
00:42:55,152 --> 00:42:57,392
My funeral is fully assured.

618
00:42:58,740 --> 00:43:00,850
Time we went to bed.

619
00:43:00,950 --> 00:43:02,977
It's getting dark.

620
00:43:03,077 --> 00:43:06,773
I'll sleep in my clothes.
It's an all-out war situation.

621
00:43:06,873 --> 00:43:09,818
I might be called out in the
night for an emergency.

622
00:43:09,918 --> 00:43:12,863
They may need all able-bodied
men at short notice.

623
00:43:12,963 --> 00:43:17,707
They'll soon change their minds when
they see your pot-bellied little body.

624
00:43:22,765 --> 00:43:25,004
Morning, dear.

625
00:43:25,935 --> 00:43:29,964
- How do you feel?
- Oh, dear.

626
00:43:30,064 --> 00:43:33,300
- I ache all over.
- So do I.

627
00:43:34,276 --> 00:43:36,515
I've got a terrific headache.

628
00:43:37,404 --> 00:43:40,767
Oh... I still feel so tired.

629
00:43:40,867 --> 00:43:44,353
Never mind, ducks. It's probably shock.
The bomb, an' that.

630
00:43:44,453 --> 00:43:46,482
Oh, it's bound to upset us a bit.

631
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:50,485
After all, you don't get a nuclear
bomb every day of the week, do you?

632
00:43:50,585 --> 00:43:53,738
Just as well. Never knew a
bomb could give you headaches.

633
00:43:53,838 --> 00:43:58,660
Oh, yes, ducks. I told you these bombs
have a terrific effect on all sorts of things.

634
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:03,089
Right. A nice cup of
tea will perk you up.

635
00:44:19,073 --> 00:44:21,767
Funny. They've cut the water off.

636
00:44:21,867 --> 00:44:24,895
Still, that's logical.
It might be contaminated.

637
00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:28,065
It's a wise precaution for the
protection of the population.

638
00:44:28,165 --> 00:44:30,192
Use the bottles, dear.

639
00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:34,443
Oh, yes, of course.
The emergency reserve supplies.

640
00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:40,579
Most of them seem to have
been broken in the blast, dear.

641
00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:42,919
The contents have been dissipated.

642
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:48,837
Funny. The electric's off, too.

643
00:44:48,937 --> 00:44:50,881
Still, bound to be.

644
00:44:50,981 --> 00:44:53,008
Conservation of energy resources.

645
00:44:53,108 --> 00:44:56,762
A wise governmental precaution during
the period of national emergency.

646
00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:59,598
Good job we've got that
little picnic stove, eh, dear?

647
00:44:59,698 --> 00:45:01,600
Are there any aspirins?

648
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:05,604
Mind it doesn't pop,
James. I can't...

649
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:07,945
bear it when it pops.

650
00:45:09,458 --> 00:45:11,486
Mm!

651
00:45:11,586 --> 00:45:15,031
Nothing like a cup of tea, hm?

652
00:45:15,131 --> 00:45:17,700
Crumbs! I must be dreaming.

653
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,955
The news! We're just in time.

654
00:45:22,179 --> 00:45:25,291
No. Nothing. There's nothing.

655
00:45:25,391 --> 00:45:26,710
All dead.

656
00:45:26,810 --> 00:45:29,713
- What about the telly?
- Yes, of course.

657
00:45:29,813 --> 00:45:32,171
They may have filmed it all.

658
00:45:38,237 --> 00:45:40,477
We may see our bomb on the news.

659
00:45:42,075 --> 00:45:45,896
No. All dead.

660
00:45:45,996 --> 00:45:48,315
- No picture?
- No.

661
00:45:48,415 --> 00:45:51,318
- Not even just the voices?
- No! Nothing.

662
00:45:51,418 --> 00:45:54,406
- All dead.
- All dead?

663
00:45:56,090 --> 00:45:59,453
- We'll have to wait for the paper.
- There should be some good pictures.

664
00:45:59,553 --> 00:46:01,580
These bombs are quite spectacular.

665
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,541
- He's late already.
- Yes, well, that's logical.

666
00:46:04,641 --> 00:46:09,667
There's bound to be delays and shortages
during the period of national emergency.

667
00:46:10,772 --> 00:46:15,884
I'll miss the serial on Woman's Hour.
It was just getting interesting.

668
00:46:18,655 --> 00:46:21,856
Crumbs! I haven't
tried the transistor.

669
00:46:23,452 --> 00:46:26,481
No. Seems to have packed up.

670
00:46:26,581 --> 00:46:28,356
Or probably needs new batteries.

671
00:46:28,456 --> 00:46:30,735
Yes, I must pop down to Willis's.

672
00:46:30,835 --> 00:46:33,696
They are a price these days.

673
00:46:33,796 --> 00:46:36,949
97p last time. Just fancy!

674
00:46:37,049 --> 00:46:41,995
We ought to get one of these new hi-fis
when your endowment policy comes up.

675
00:46:42,095 --> 00:46:45,914
Oh, yes. Or a stereo.
I've only got two years to go.

676
00:46:47,101 --> 00:46:51,797
- I hope Ron and Beryl got back all right.
- Oh, yes, they'll be all right.

677
00:46:51,897 --> 00:46:56,385
- Our Ron's a very careful driver.
- I didn't mean the driving so much, dear.

678
00:46:56,485 --> 00:46:57,888
More the bomb.

679
00:46:57,988 --> 00:46:59,896
I'll give them a ring.

680
00:47:00,657 --> 00:47:03,264
Hello? Hello? Hello?

681
00:47:04,077 --> 00:47:05,687
No, it's not even ringing.

682
00:47:05,787 --> 00:47:07,814
Oh, I expect the lines are down.

683
00:47:07,914 --> 00:47:11,735
They say there are red-hot
winds of 500 miles an hour.

684
00:47:11,835 --> 00:47:14,705
I expect that would render
the lines inoperable.

685
00:47:15,756 --> 00:47:18,529
I'll drop him them a line...
tell them to give us a ring.

686
00:47:19,426 --> 00:47:23,121
- Do you think the post will be going?
- Oh, yes, bound to be.

687
00:47:23,221 --> 00:47:26,417
The powers that be will endeavour
to maintain communications.

688
00:47:26,517 --> 00:47:29,754
Remember the Blitz?
The post went on just the same.

689
00:47:29,854 --> 00:47:33,674
It's government policy. It keeps
up the morale of the population.

690
00:47:33,774 --> 00:47:35,801
I hope Ron is insured.

691
00:47:35,901 --> 00:47:38,262
You did pay ours, didn't you, James?

692
00:47:38,362 --> 00:47:42,433
Oh, yes, dear. The bomb won't cost
us a penny. We'll be well covered.

693
00:47:42,533 --> 00:47:44,773
Mm. Lovely.

694
00:47:45,870 --> 00:47:49,355
We can have some nice new
curtains for the summer.

695
00:47:56,422 --> 00:47:59,993
Crumbs! I wonder if
it's all over already.

696
00:48:00,093 --> 00:48:04,457
If it is all over,
I wish I knew who'd won.

697
00:48:04,557 --> 00:48:08,919
We can't have lost the war, can we,
James? We won the other two.

698
00:48:09,019 --> 00:48:11,046
No, of course not.

699
00:48:11,146 --> 00:48:13,173
Remember old Churchill?

700
00:48:13,273 --> 00:48:15,468
"We will never surrender."

701
00:48:15,568 --> 00:48:18,513
Yes, but Churchill's not
prime minister now, dear.

702
00:48:18,613 --> 00:48:22,141
No. Well... of course not.

703
00:48:22,241 --> 00:48:27,605
I suppose it won't be the same without...
with old whatshisname, will it?

704
00:48:27,705 --> 00:48:29,945
Who is it, anyway?

705
00:48:31,250 --> 00:48:35,447
I must check the emergency supplies list.
We never had time to finish it.

706
00:48:35,547 --> 00:48:39,951
It says here,
"...a notebook for messages."

707
00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:42,580
Who are you going to
write messages to, dear?

708
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:47,835
Well, you never know. There's always
a need for vital messages in wartime.

709
00:48:47,935 --> 00:48:52,047
Our lives might depend on a vital message
getting through to headquarters.

710
00:48:52,147 --> 00:48:53,508
Oh, I see, dear.

711
00:48:53,608 --> 00:48:57,566
And it says, "...a whistle
and gong for alarm."

712
00:48:57,667 --> 00:48:59,472
Oh, what will you
do with that, dear?

713
00:48:59,572 --> 00:49:05,227
Well, if I saw a Russky coming down the
lane, I'd bang the gong. If we had one.

714
00:49:05,327 --> 00:49:08,856
- Wouldn't he shoot you, dear?
- What, just for banging a gong?

715
00:49:08,956 --> 00:49:11,860
He'd be well within his rights to
shoot you if there's a war on.

716
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,987
Oh, crumbs! You really think so?

717
00:49:14,087 --> 00:49:16,114
Just for banging a gong?

718
00:49:16,214 --> 00:49:19,534
- I'm glad we haven't got a gong.
- We've got a whistle.

719
00:49:19,634 --> 00:49:23,246
- Have we? Where is it?
- I'm not sure.

720
00:49:23,346 --> 00:49:25,874
Hm. Never mind.

721
00:49:25,974 --> 00:49:29,175
Let's leave it. Let's leave it.

722
00:50:11,396 --> 00:50:14,799
Oh, I do feel tired.

723
00:50:14,899 --> 00:50:18,512
Really exhausted and... all dizzy.

724
00:50:18,612 --> 00:50:22,599
Nervous exhaustion due to
unaccustomed lifestyle.

725
00:50:22,699 --> 00:50:24,184
That's what that is.

726
00:50:24,284 --> 00:50:26,853
How's your headache, dear?

727
00:50:26,953 --> 00:50:31,400
Just the same, thanks.
Aspirins didn't seem to do any good at all.

728
00:50:32,208 --> 00:50:36,530
I think I've got a temperature.
I feel all hot and shivery.

729
00:50:36,630 --> 00:50:39,033
You do look pale, dear.

730
00:50:39,133 --> 00:50:42,995
- I should have an early night.
- I must clear up.

731
00:50:43,095 --> 00:50:48,208
Suppose someone comes and sees the place
in this state? We might have visitors.

732
00:50:48,308 --> 00:50:52,038
Yes. The Emergency Service
should arrive today.

733
00:50:52,138 --> 00:50:54,468
I'm surprised they've
not come before.

734
00:50:54,569 --> 00:50:57,553
I expect they've got a lot
of people to attend to.

735
00:50:57,653 --> 00:51:00,764
Oh, yes. We're only
an outlying district.

736
00:51:00,864 --> 00:51:04,226
They'll be heavily engaged
within the stricken area itself.

737
00:51:04,326 --> 00:51:09,272
- Will it be like meals on wheels, dear?
- Yes, I should think so.

738
00:51:09,372 --> 00:51:12,568
There'll be mobile canteens
and soup kitchens,

739
00:51:12,668 --> 00:51:14,695
teams of doctors and nurses,

740
00:51:14,795 --> 00:51:18,490
helicopters flying in blankets
and medical supplies.

741
00:51:18,590 --> 00:51:21,785
It'll all move slowly
into action, you bet.

742
00:51:21,885 --> 00:51:24,622
They'll all be here
in next to no time.

743
00:51:24,722 --> 00:51:30,210
The governmental authorities have been
aware of this eventuality for years.

744
00:51:30,310 --> 00:51:34,507
So continency plans will have
been formulated long ago.

745
00:51:34,607 --> 00:51:37,301
We won't have to worry about a thing.

746
00:51:37,401 --> 00:51:40,597
The powers that be will
get to us in the end.

747
00:51:40,697 --> 00:51:43,099
I hope they come soon, dear.

748
00:51:43,199 --> 00:51:45,439
I'm not feeling very well.

749
00:51:46,786 --> 00:51:49,440
I wonder if we'd have been
better off in the cellar.

750
00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:51,232
Oh, no, dear. Too damp.

751
00:51:51,332 --> 00:51:53,359
Think of my rheumatism.

752
00:51:53,459 --> 00:51:56,613
- Would you like a bite to eat, dearest?
- No, thanks.

753
00:51:56,713 --> 00:51:58,740
I'm right off food.

754
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,080
So am I.

755
00:52:01,968 --> 00:52:06,037
I must go to the toilet.
And I don't want any arguments.

756
00:52:07,056 --> 00:52:09,043
Blessed dust everywhere.

757
00:52:09,143 --> 00:52:11,629
Oh, crumbs! I forgot!

758
00:52:11,729 --> 00:52:14,632
We're supposed to stay in
the inner core or refuge!

759
00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:17,968
Well, it's too late now.
We've been out for ages.

760
00:52:18,068 --> 00:52:20,513
Oh, blimey! It was the whole point!

761
00:52:20,613 --> 00:52:23,307
I wonder if there's
any radiation about.

762
00:52:23,407 --> 00:52:26,181
Well, I can't see anything.

763
00:52:28,287 --> 00:52:31,483
Hurry up, dear, and get back
in the inner core or refuge!

764
00:52:31,583 --> 00:52:33,823
We'd better have an early night.

765
00:52:34,753 --> 00:52:38,907
Well, if you can't see
it and can't feel it,

766
00:52:39,007 --> 00:52:42,373
it can't be doing you
any harm, can it?

767
00:52:47,577 --> 00:52:51,105
Better try and...
eat something today, dear.

768
00:52:51,205 --> 00:52:54,109
I was sick three times in the night.

769
00:52:54,209 --> 00:52:56,236
My headache's even worse.

770
00:52:56,336 --> 00:52:58,654
Let's have a walk round
the garden, dear.

771
00:52:58,754 --> 00:53:04,494
I've just read it's only 48 hours in
the inner core or refuge, not 14 days.

772
00:53:04,594 --> 00:53:09,421
A bit of fresh air is all we need.
I'll get a nice lettuce.

773
00:53:21,069 --> 00:53:23,097
Crumbs! Look at the door!

774
00:53:23,197 --> 00:53:26,476
The paint's all gone.
Scorched down to the wood.

775
00:53:26,576 --> 00:53:30,524
Never mind, dear.
You said you'd burn it off one day.

776
00:53:32,248 --> 00:53:35,026
The leaves have all gone
off the apple tree, ducks.

777
00:53:35,126 --> 00:53:38,529
Oh, yes! What a shame!

778
00:53:38,629 --> 00:53:41,408
Still, it'll be lovely in the spring.

779
00:53:41,508 --> 00:53:43,747
It is spring, dear.

780
00:53:46,596 --> 00:53:48,373
Oh! Listen!

781
00:53:48,473 --> 00:53:50,712
A dog!

782
00:53:51,601 --> 00:53:54,423
Oh, poor thing!

783
00:53:55,188 --> 00:53:57,215
I expect he's hungry.

784
00:53:57,315 --> 00:54:00,011
The heat has affected
the hedge, love.

785
00:54:00,111 --> 00:54:04,514
- The beans look a bit shrivelled.
- And I think the lettuce have evaporated.

786
00:54:04,614 --> 00:54:07,056
Well, they do have a
high water content.

787
00:54:07,951 --> 00:54:13,065
- Can you see any fallout falling out, James?
- No, the sun is trying to get through.

788
00:54:13,165 --> 00:54:16,194
They didn't blow up the sun,
thank goodness.

789
00:54:16,294 --> 00:54:20,239
Oh, no, dear.
Science is still in its infancy.

790
00:54:20,339 --> 00:54:22,908
What does the fallout
look like, dear?

791
00:54:23,008 --> 00:54:25,828
I don't know. The...
government directive

792
00:54:25,928 --> 00:54:28,914
neglects to mention how the
populous could recognise it.

793
00:54:29,014 --> 00:54:32,294
I expect it's a bit like snow, ducks.
Only greyer.

794
00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:34,753
The grass looks a funny colour.

795
00:54:34,853 --> 00:54:39,050
Yes, I'll pop down to Mr Sponge's tomorrow
and get some bone meal and dried blood.

796
00:54:39,150 --> 00:54:41,928
He might be closed due
to the bomb, dear.

797
00:54:42,028 --> 00:54:48,268
What, old Sponge? Miss a day's trade?
Not him! He'd rather die!

798
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:52,272
It's very cloudy. Almost foggy.

799
00:54:52,372 --> 00:54:54,608
We need some sun to
bring the garden on.

800
00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:59,738
- The milkman's not been yet. He's late.
- Oh, well, that's logical.

801
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:02,158
He's bound to be a bit
late after the bomb.

802
00:55:02,258 --> 00:55:05,119
Perhaps he's been called
up to fight, or something.

803
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:08,497
Oh, yes. Well... maybe.

804
00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:11,122
But they'd have got a
woman or something.

805
00:55:13,478 --> 00:55:15,717
- Quiet, isn't it?
- Yes.

806
00:55:16,606 --> 00:55:20,593
I haven't seen no trains. No traffic.

807
00:55:20,693 --> 00:55:24,477
I expect they're all having
a good lie-in after the bomb.

808
00:55:25,407 --> 00:55:27,434
Terrible smell of burning.

809
00:55:27,534 --> 00:55:32,397
Oh, yes. Well... bound to be.
That's logical.

810
00:55:32,497 --> 00:55:37,652
It's like... roast meat.

811
00:55:37,752 --> 00:55:39,779
Yes! Roast dinners.

812
00:55:39,879 --> 00:55:42,991
I expect people are having their
Sunday dinners early this week,

813
00:55:43,091 --> 00:55:45,993
due to the unexpected circumstances.

814
00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:50,873
The road's gone all funny.
Seems to have melted a bit.

815
00:55:51,351 --> 00:55:55,171
I expect that's why the milkman's late.
He's got stuck somewhere.

816
00:55:55,271 --> 00:55:58,341
I wonder if there's a proper war on.

817
00:55:58,441 --> 00:56:00,468
I wonder who's winning.

818
00:56:00,568 --> 00:56:04,139
Never mind. It'll all
be in the papers, dear.

819
00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,475
Come to think of it, he's late, too.

820
00:56:06,575 --> 00:56:08,809
He missed us altogether yesterday.

821
00:56:08,909 --> 00:56:12,147
Well, you can't expect things
to be normal after the bomb.

822
00:56:12,247 --> 00:56:16,526
Difficulties will be experienced throughout
the duration of the emergency period.

823
00:56:16,626 --> 00:56:22,331
Normality will only be assumed after
the sensation of hostilities.

824
00:56:23,425 --> 00:56:27,325
Oh, dear. I think I'm
going to be sick again.

825
00:56:30,765 --> 00:56:33,336
There, there, there, ducks.

826
00:56:33,436 --> 00:56:37,503
All better now?

827
00:56:41,068 --> 00:56:43,679
I had the most terrible
diarrhoea this morning.

828
00:56:43,779 --> 00:56:45,806
Nerves, dear. It's just nerves.

829
00:56:45,906 --> 00:56:49,060
I'm the same, and I'm a man.

830
00:56:54,248 --> 00:56:56,488
Let's sit in the garden for a bit.

831
00:56:57,835 --> 00:57:00,738
Don't you think we ought
to clear up, dear?

832
00:57:00,838 --> 00:57:03,077
Yes, yes, later on.

833
00:57:04,467 --> 00:57:07,412
I feel a bit... weak and dizzy.

834
00:57:07,512 --> 00:57:09,539
We'll make a start soon.

835
00:57:09,639 --> 00:57:12,500
Well, suppose Jerry
comes this afternoon.

836
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:17,423
No, they'd wait for the fallout to clear.
Too dangerous for a few days.

837
00:57:17,523 --> 00:57:19,550
We've got plenty of time.

838
00:57:19,650 --> 00:57:22,427
The situation is well
in hand, you bet.

839
00:57:22,527 --> 00:57:25,389
Our boys will be lying
in wait for 'em.

840
00:57:25,489 --> 00:57:27,516
I expect they've laid a trap.

841
00:57:27,616 --> 00:57:29,644
Jerry will walk straight into it.

842
00:57:29,744 --> 00:57:33,189
Hello! There's cloud coming up.

843
00:57:33,289 --> 00:57:35,528
Looks like rain.

844
00:57:39,379 --> 00:57:41,947
It's raining! I'm going in.

845
00:57:42,047 --> 00:57:44,326
Rain! Yes!

846
00:57:44,426 --> 00:57:47,081
We can save it!

847
00:57:53,726 --> 00:57:58,672
Don't you get wet, James. You'll catch
a chill. We don't want you laid up again.

848
00:58:01,818 --> 00:58:04,596
We'll be all right for water
now for a while, dear.

849
00:58:04,696 --> 00:58:07,475
Do you think rainwater
is all right to drink?

850
00:58:07,575 --> 00:58:09,893
Oh, yes, of course it is.

851
00:58:09,993 --> 00:58:13,564
There's nothing purer than rainwater,
is there? Everybody knows that.

852
00:58:13,664 --> 00:58:17,193
Perhaps I'd better boil it.
Best to be on the safe side.

853
00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:21,448
Oh, yes, I suppose so. We don't
want to take unnecessary risks.

854
00:58:21,548 --> 00:58:24,284
It may prejudice our
chance of survival.

855
00:58:24,384 --> 00:58:27,870
What do you mean, James?
We have survived, haven't we?

856
00:58:27,970 --> 00:58:34,378
Yes, I know. But after the bombs
on Japan, people died ages later.

857
00:58:34,478 --> 00:58:37,297
I... forget exactly why.

858
00:58:37,397 --> 00:58:39,591
Perhaps they didn't take precautions.

859
00:58:39,691 --> 00:58:43,762
Yes. I expect they neglected
to do the correct thing and...

860
00:58:43,862 --> 00:58:45,889
Oh, and anyway, that was years ago.

861
00:58:45,989 --> 00:58:48,017
Science was in its infancy.

862
00:58:48,117 --> 00:58:50,408
We're better equipped
to deal with the situation

863
00:58:50,509 --> 00:58:52,895
in the light of modern
scientific knowledge.

864
00:58:52,995 --> 00:58:58,735
Oh, yes. Nowadays, there's bound to be
all sorts of anditotes and protectives.

865
00:58:58,835 --> 00:59:03,574
When the medics get through, they'll probably
just spray us with some anditote,

866
00:59:03,674 --> 00:59:08,453
give us a couple of pills, and in
no time, we'll be as right as rain.

867
00:59:12,558 --> 00:59:16,379
I'm glad we moved to the country
when you retired, dear.

868
00:59:16,479 --> 00:59:19,086
Yes. Much more peaceful.

869
00:59:19,899 --> 00:59:23,386
If we'd still been in London,
we'd probably have been bombed out by now.

870
00:59:23,486 --> 00:59:26,764
Yes. Unless we'd been evacuated.

871
00:59:26,864 --> 00:59:30,352
Oh, that was only children.
And women too, of course.

872
00:59:30,452 --> 00:59:33,938
I'd have been requisitioned
for essential war work.

873
00:59:34,038 --> 00:59:36,066
But you're far too old.

874
00:59:36,166 --> 00:59:38,194
You're retired.

875
00:59:38,294 --> 00:59:42,655
Yes, but all age groups are
pressed into emergency service

876
00:59:42,755 --> 00:59:45,201
during times of national
emergency, dear.

877
00:59:45,301 --> 00:59:48,786
I'd have been an air-raid warden.

878
00:59:51,141 --> 00:59:54,674
Or a stretcher bearer
for the Red Cross...

879
00:59:55,769 --> 01:00:01,095
and St John's Ambulance Brigade,
or a fireman in the docks.

880
01:00:04,362 --> 01:00:07,932
Jerry up above,
fire bombs raining down.

881
01:00:08,032 --> 01:00:10,271
Up the turntable ladder.

882
01:00:12,746 --> 01:00:14,985
Carrying women to safety.

883
01:00:16,207 --> 01:00:19,194
Trust you to think of that, James.

884
01:00:21,587 --> 01:00:23,496
I wish we had neighbours.

885
01:00:24,341 --> 01:00:26,909
I'd like to ask someone
what's going on.

886
01:00:27,009 --> 01:00:29,621
Well, I warned you, dear.

887
01:00:29,721 --> 01:00:32,916
"This cottage is a
bit isolated," I said.

888
01:00:33,016 --> 01:00:35,340
"You're not going
to like it," I said.

889
01:00:37,730 --> 01:00:39,969
I wish we didn't have to stay put.

890
01:00:41,442 --> 01:00:43,469
I quite fancy a pint.

891
01:00:43,569 --> 01:00:47,849
I said I'd see old George down the
Half Moon today for a game of darts.

892
01:00:52,328 --> 01:00:55,648
I expect he'll be busy with
his cows after the bomb.

893
01:00:55,748 --> 01:01:00,154
It might have put them off laying...
milking, I mean.

894
01:01:00,254 --> 01:01:03,781
Yes, it may have curdled
the milk, or something.

895
01:01:03,881 --> 01:01:06,992
These bombs have a
terrific effect on things.

896
01:01:07,092 --> 01:01:09,955
He may have switched over to yoghurt.

897
01:01:10,055 --> 01:01:16,293
Yes. Lots of people's lives are going to
be considerably affected by the bomb.

898
01:01:17,188 --> 01:01:20,674
London Airport will have
been knocked out, I expect.

899
01:01:20,774 --> 01:01:24,428
Yes. Bang goes a lot of
people's holidays this year.

900
01:01:24,528 --> 01:01:27,265
The Yanks won't come dropping in.

901
01:01:27,365 --> 01:01:30,226
Oh, no. Not unless to help
us against the Russkies.

902
01:01:30,326 --> 01:01:34,021
Remember in the war?
"Got any gum, chum?"

903
01:01:34,121 --> 01:01:36,315
We used to stand on
the railway embankment,

904
01:01:36,415 --> 01:01:40,319
and the Yanks used to shower us with
gum and chocolate and K Rations.

905
01:01:40,419 --> 01:01:42,447
Terrific, it was.

906
01:01:42,547 --> 01:01:44,574
I wonder if the Russkies chew gum.

907
01:01:44,674 --> 01:01:46,701
"Got any gumski, comrade?"

908
01:01:46,801 --> 01:01:51,040
You won't be able to say that, James.
They're the enemy.

909
01:01:51,140 --> 01:01:54,375
Oh, yes. I keep forgetting.

910
01:01:54,475 --> 01:01:56,045
Crumbs!

911
01:01:56,145 --> 01:01:58,880
We won't have to try
and kill them, will we?

912
01:01:58,980 --> 01:02:01,508
Oh, I... I suppose so.

913
01:02:01,608 --> 01:02:04,886
That's what you're supposed
to do to the enemy, isn't it?

914
01:02:04,986 --> 01:02:08,224
Crumbs! I hadn't really
thought of that.

915
01:02:08,324 --> 01:02:12,311
You mean to say if one of them comes
through that door this afternoon,

916
01:02:12,411 --> 01:02:14,438
I'm supposed to try and kill him?

917
01:02:14,538 --> 01:02:18,400
Well, not you, James.
After all, you're retired.

918
01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:20,528
Well, what would I kill him with?

919
01:02:21,421 --> 01:02:23,578
A bit of old iron, I suppose.

920
01:02:24,465 --> 01:02:26,992
I must mend those
socks for you, James.

921
01:02:27,092 --> 01:02:30,079
They'd have Tommy guns.
They always do.

922
01:02:30,179 --> 01:02:32,206
He'd mow us down, Hilda!

923
01:02:32,306 --> 01:02:36,420
If a German sees you in these socks,
he'll think you're just a peasant.

924
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,797
"Die, you Englishe
pig dogs!" he'd say.

925
01:02:39,897 --> 01:02:44,912
"Enemies of der Fatherland!
Heil Hitler!"

926
01:02:45,612 --> 01:02:48,971
Oh. Oh, no, sorry. No, no,
that's the last time.

927
01:02:49,072 --> 01:02:51,951
I keep forgetting,
it's the Russkies now.

928
01:02:54,496 --> 01:02:57,232
Just suppose that one did come.

929
01:02:57,332 --> 01:02:59,359
A great big Russian.

930
01:02:59,459 --> 01:03:02,904
Big overcoat, great big
boots with snow on them.

931
01:03:03,004 --> 01:03:07,118
Great furry hat, all covered
in belts of ammo and grenades.

932
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:09,954
Bloomin' great Tommy gun
pointing straight at us!

933
01:03:10,054 --> 01:03:12,082
What am I supposed to do?

934
01:03:12,182 --> 01:03:16,086
You could offer him a
cup of tea, I suppose.

935
01:03:16,186 --> 01:03:17,795
Argh!

936
01:03:17,895 --> 01:03:19,964
We mustn't be collaborators, Hilda.

937
01:03:20,064 --> 01:03:22,092
They'd shave our heads.

938
01:03:22,192 --> 01:03:26,262
Russians like tea. A cup of
tea wouldn't hurt, surely?

939
01:03:26,362 --> 01:03:30,180
I suppose it's better than being
mown down in a hail of bullets.

940
01:03:31,075 --> 01:03:35,480
Crumbs! They might round us up and
take us off to the concentration camps.

941
01:03:35,580 --> 01:03:38,483
Why? We've not done anything.

942
01:03:38,583 --> 01:03:40,986
We're not Jews, or anything.

943
01:03:41,086 --> 01:03:44,537
- Your grandfather was a Jew.
- He was not!

944
01:03:45,424 --> 01:03:47,992
Well, only partly.

945
01:03:48,092 --> 01:03:51,080
They'd send us to Liberia.
Down the salt mines.

946
01:03:51,180 --> 01:03:54,333
- Whatever for?
- I don't know.

947
01:03:54,433 --> 01:03:56,044
They always do.

948
01:03:56,144 --> 01:03:58,171
Perhaps Russians eat a lot of salt.

949
01:03:58,271 --> 01:04:01,555
I expect they're quite nice, really.

950
01:04:02,650 --> 01:04:05,428
I saw the Russians
dancing on telly once.

951
01:04:05,528 --> 01:04:07,139
All in boots.

952
01:04:07,239 --> 01:04:09,266
They seemed nice.

953
01:04:09,366 --> 01:04:12,520
Oh, yes. I bet some of them are nice.

954
01:04:13,620 --> 01:04:16,904
There were supposed to be
some nice Germans last time.

955
01:04:21,544 --> 01:04:26,537
I think we're running out of water again,
dear. The rainwater's all gone.

956
01:04:28,719 --> 01:04:31,371
Oh, we've still got a pint of milk.

957
01:04:31,471 --> 01:04:34,042
Better save that for teatime.

958
01:04:34,142 --> 01:04:36,710
I can't bear tea without milk.

959
01:04:36,810 --> 01:04:41,007
- Posh people have lemon in it.
- I know! Horrible!

960
01:04:41,107 --> 01:04:42,675
Crumbs!

961
01:04:42,775 --> 01:04:46,345
I wonder if it was an American
missile falling a bit short.

962
01:04:46,445 --> 01:04:51,268
That happened in the war...
blokes getting shelled by their own guns.

963
01:04:51,368 --> 01:04:55,772
Be funny if it was an American
missile that had landed on us.

964
01:04:55,872 --> 01:04:57,899
Wouldn't it, dear?

965
01:04:57,999 --> 01:05:00,401
I can't see it's very funny, James.

966
01:05:00,501 --> 01:05:03,905
No, well...
Funny peculiar, I mean.

967
01:05:04,005 --> 01:05:06,283
Are they worse than the Russian ones?

968
01:05:06,383 --> 01:05:12,038
Oh, I shouldn't think so, love.
I expect they're all much of a muchness.

969
01:05:12,138 --> 01:05:13,957
They all work on the same principle.

970
01:05:14,057 --> 01:05:17,169
It's called... megadeath, I think.

971
01:05:17,269 --> 01:05:20,464
So many millions of
people dead per bang.

972
01:05:20,564 --> 01:05:22,800
Any ketchup, dear?

973
01:05:22,900 --> 01:05:25,886
I expect the quantity
is similar either way.

974
01:05:25,986 --> 01:05:28,680
Are all the bangs about
the same size, then?

975
01:05:28,780 --> 01:05:31,767
Oh, no! There's one megaton,

976
01:05:31,867 --> 01:05:34,273
and 10 megaton, an' that.

977
01:05:35,288 --> 01:05:39,567
It's... just a question of
how big a bang you want to make

978
01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:44,072
and how many...
people you want to kill.

979
01:05:44,172 --> 01:05:46,329
More baked beans, dear?

980
01:05:47,217 --> 01:05:50,203
No, thanks. I'm a bit off food.

981
01:05:50,303 --> 01:05:54,207
Then there's the... overkill, see?

982
01:05:54,307 --> 01:05:58,755
That's where they kill more
people than they really need to.

983
01:05:59,646 --> 01:06:03,675
Say you want a bang big enough
to kill one million people,

984
01:06:03,775 --> 01:06:07,804
and you go and use a
three-million-people bang.

985
01:06:07,904 --> 01:06:11,933
It's terrifically wasteful of energy,
in the present economic climate.

986
01:06:12,033 --> 01:06:13,810
I see, dear.

987
01:06:13,910 --> 01:06:18,190
Yes, there's one thing about
the present economic situation.

988
01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:20,317
- I mean...
- Such a shame we can't wash up.

989
01:06:20,417 --> 01:06:25,156
...in order to conserve
world energy resources,

990
01:06:25,256 --> 01:06:29,369
the powers that be will only use
the smallest possible bang.

991
01:06:29,469 --> 01:06:32,080
Oh, I can't bear it!

992
01:06:32,180 --> 01:06:34,666
I expect that's why we're still here.

993
01:06:34,766 --> 01:06:36,918
We're running out of crockery.

994
01:06:37,018 --> 01:06:41,512
We could say we owe our lives to
the world economic procession.

995
01:06:45,944 --> 01:06:48,763
Put the kettle on, will you, ducks?

996
01:06:48,863 --> 01:06:51,103
There's no water, dear.

997
01:06:52,159 --> 01:06:54,399
Oh, no, no. Of course.

998
01:06:55,496 --> 01:06:58,232
Just... Just have to have milk, then.

999
01:06:58,332 --> 01:07:00,818
That pint's gone bad, dear.

1000
01:07:00,918 --> 01:07:03,196
The fridge has been off.

1001
01:07:03,296 --> 01:07:06,068
Oh, heck! Well...

1002
01:07:07,007 --> 01:07:08,867
...a black coffee, then.

1003
01:07:08,967 --> 01:07:11,077
There's still no water, dear.

1004
01:07:12,763 --> 01:07:17,002
Well, what... What are we
going to drink, eh? Eh?

1005
01:07:17,102 --> 01:07:20,880
What... What... What are we
going to drink, for God's sake?

1006
01:07:20,980 --> 01:07:23,219
Don't shout, dearest.

1007
01:07:24,609 --> 01:07:26,636
I'm sorry, love.

1008
01:07:26,736 --> 01:07:29,806
I'm just... terribly thirsty.

1009
01:07:29,906 --> 01:07:32,642
How about a nice sweet, dear?

1010
01:07:32,742 --> 01:07:35,065
It's a blackcurrant fruit pastille.

1011
01:07:36,663 --> 01:07:39,781
There's only one left.

1012
01:07:40,667 --> 01:07:43,619
- You have it.
- No, you have it.

1013
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:46,907
We'll... We'll cut it in half.

1014
01:07:47,007 --> 01:07:49,246
That's... That's fair.

1015
01:07:56,725 --> 01:08:00,587
- Help!
- I'm coming! I-I-I'm coming! I'm coming!

1016
01:08:00,687 --> 01:08:02,881
A rat! A rat!

1017
01:08:02,981 --> 01:08:06,100
A rat in the lavatory!

1018
01:08:08,321 --> 01:08:12,808
Eeww! I saw it!
Its tail waving in the pan!

1019
01:08:12,908 --> 01:08:14,935
Never mind, dear. Never mind.

1020
01:08:15,035 --> 01:08:18,607
No, no, no. It won't
hurt you, dearest.

1021
01:08:18,707 --> 01:08:24,446
The pan's all dry and its...
head was round the bend...

1022
01:08:24,546 --> 01:08:27,615
just its bottom end
sticking out. A tail!

1023
01:08:27,715 --> 01:08:29,742
Oh! A tail!

1024
01:08:29,842 --> 01:08:33,163
Horrible! Horrible!

1025
01:08:33,263 --> 01:08:34,456
There, there, dear.

1026
01:08:34,556 --> 01:08:40,463
Don't worry, I... I'll pop down to Willis's
in the morning and I'll get some warfarin.

1027
01:08:40,563 --> 01:08:44,178
At least it shows that the
drains aren't blocked.

1028
01:08:45,234 --> 01:08:47,059
Oh, dear!

1029
01:08:48,196 --> 01:08:50,223
I do feel queer!

1030
01:08:50,323 --> 01:08:51,849
All shaky.

1031
01:08:51,949 --> 01:08:55,769
Well, it's bound to upset you a bit.

1032
01:08:55,869 --> 01:08:58,110
The... The bomb, I mean.

1033
01:09:01,918 --> 01:09:04,988
Have you got... lipstick on, dear?

1034
01:09:05,088 --> 01:09:07,116
Lipstick?

1035
01:09:07,216 --> 01:09:09,243
What do you mean, James?

1036
01:09:09,343 --> 01:09:11,787
You know I haven't
worn lipstick for years.

1037
01:09:11,887 --> 01:09:17,211
- Well... your lips are all red.
- Oh!

1038
01:09:18,436 --> 01:09:20,004
Oh, my!

1039
01:09:20,104 --> 01:09:22,343
My gums are bleeding!

1040
01:09:24,150 --> 01:09:27,344
I thought there was a...
a funny taste.

1041
01:09:27,444 --> 01:09:34,893
Well Shrinking of gums, causing ill-fitting
dentures. That's... That's what that is.

1042
01:09:34,993 --> 01:09:41,234
Yeah... Better get to the dentist
when the emergency has rescinded.

1043
01:09:41,334 --> 01:09:45,030
There was blood when I went
to the toilet this morning.

1044
01:09:45,130 --> 01:09:47,157
Yes, yes. Me, too.

1045
01:09:47,257 --> 01:09:50,458
P-piles, that is. H-hovaloids.

1046
01:09:51,344 --> 01:09:55,332
A common complaint in...
in middle-aged people like ourselves.

1047
01:09:55,432 --> 01:10:03,257
I'll... I'll pop down to... to the chemist
when the crisis pales into insignificance,

1048
01:10:03,357 --> 01:10:07,601
and I'll... I'll get some
of those suppositories.

1049
01:10:09,155 --> 01:10:10,722
Oh!

1050
01:10:10,822 --> 01:10:13,015
Oh, dear.

1051
01:10:13,950 --> 01:10:16,190
I think I'm going to be sick.

1052
01:10:20,541 --> 01:10:23,736
Now, there, there, ducks.
There, there. There, there.

1053
01:10:23,836 --> 01:10:28,616
Now, now. All better now. Now, please.
Don't upset yourself, love.

1054
01:10:28,716 --> 01:10:32,911
Please, please. Now, don't dry.
Don't cry. Don't cry.

1055
01:10:33,011 --> 01:10:37,959
I expect it's due to the vibration,
you know. Like that day in the car.

1056
01:10:38,059 --> 01:10:41,463
You remember that time we
went to Bournemouth, hm?

1057
01:10:41,563 --> 01:10:43,674
And you were sick in the coach.

1058
01:10:43,774 --> 01:10:46,218
Don't worry, ducks. Don't worry.

1059
01:10:46,318 --> 01:10:48,553
There can't be anything
wrong with you.

1060
01:10:48,653 --> 01:10:53,266
I expect it's... it's just the...
the after-effects of the bomb.

1061
01:11:19,852 --> 01:11:25,593
Oh, I... I... I do...
fancy a nice cup of tea.

1062
01:11:27,777 --> 01:11:31,595
Do you think the cows have been
affected by the bomb, dear?

1063
01:11:32,740 --> 01:11:35,144
No, I... I shouldn't think so.

1064
01:11:35,244 --> 01:11:37,686
They're... They're all
out in the country.

1065
01:11:38,580 --> 01:11:41,525
Supplies of milk will be maintained.

1066
01:11:41,625 --> 01:11:48,159
It is... essential for the maintenance of...
healthy bones and teeth.

1067
01:11:48,882 --> 01:11:51,619
Yes, but we live in
the country, dear.

1068
01:11:51,719 --> 01:11:55,331
Yes, yes, yes, I... I know, dear.

1069
01:11:55,431 --> 01:11:59,047
Well, the grass is
all dead and funny.

1070
01:12:00,019 --> 01:12:02,258
Yes... well...

1071
01:12:03,481 --> 01:12:04,965
I don't know.

1072
01:12:05,065 --> 01:12:11,684
I expect there may be...
a temporary containment of supplies.

1073
01:12:12,448 --> 01:12:16,777
I suppose we'd better just sit
here and wait for help to arrive.

1074
01:12:18,037 --> 01:12:23,360
Yes. The... The emergency services
will have sprung into action

1075
01:12:23,460 --> 01:12:26,488
at the first alarm signal.

1076
01:12:26,588 --> 01:12:29,624
I hope they get here
before the enemy.

1077
01:12:32,051 --> 01:12:37,042
Oh, I... I hope Beryl and
Ron got back all right.

1078
01:12:37,142 --> 01:12:39,878
Oh, they'll... they'll be all right.

1079
01:12:40,811 --> 01:12:45,222
They'll... They'll have been safely
home long... long before the bomb.

1080
01:12:46,609 --> 01:12:49,217
Our Ron's... a sensible boy.

1081
01:12:50,113 --> 01:12:56,101
At the first siren, he'd get the whole
family down to the shelters right away.

1082
01:12:56,994 --> 01:12:59,022
There aren't any shelters, dear.

1083
01:12:59,122 --> 01:13:01,149
Oh, no.

1084
01:13:01,249 --> 01:13:03,774
No, no, I... I forgot.

1085
01:13:04,502 --> 01:13:06,529
But he'll... he'll be all right.

1086
01:13:06,629 --> 01:13:09,699
I gave him the governmental leaflet.

1087
01:13:09,799 --> 01:13:12,161
He'll... He'll be
all right with that.

1088
01:13:12,261 --> 01:13:19,127
That will afford him the maximum
protection available to the populous.

1089
01:13:19,227 --> 01:13:21,670
He'll... He'll take cover immediately

1090
01:13:21,770 --> 01:13:27,259
and... adopt all the prescribed
precautionary measures.

1091
01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:29,678
He... He's no fool, our Ron.

1092
01:13:29,778 --> 01:13:33,766
He's not likely to get
hot under the collar.

1093
01:13:33,866 --> 01:13:36,186
He... He won't go to pieces.

1094
01:13:36,286 --> 01:13:40,481
The whole family will...
will stick together.

1095
01:13:40,581 --> 01:13:42,821
Oh! Look!

1096
01:13:43,835 --> 01:13:46,608
There's funny spots on my legs.

1097
01:13:47,381 --> 01:13:51,326
They're various veins.
That's... That's what that is.

1098
01:13:51,426 --> 01:13:54,746
That's... That's a common
complaint amongst...

1099
01:13:54,846 --> 01:13:57,457
amongst the middle-aged
segment of the populous.

1100
01:13:57,557 --> 01:14:00,294
Oh, that's... that's...
that's nothing to worry about.

1101
01:14:00,394 --> 01:14:03,047
They don't look like veins to me.

1102
01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,174
I don't like the look of it.

1103
01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:09,261
Oh... Oh, you are... you are a baby!

1104
01:14:09,361 --> 01:14:12,764
You're a worn... worn...
born worrier, you are, you know.

1105
01:14:12,864 --> 01:14:16,810
Now, you just try and look on
the bright side, eh, ducks? Hm?

1106
01:14:16,910 --> 01:14:18,937
Look! Look!

1107
01:14:19,037 --> 01:14:22,692
I've even got funny
blotches on my skin, see?

1108
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:25,403
And I... I'm a man.

1109
01:14:25,503 --> 01:14:30,991
Yes... Yes, too much tinned food.
That's all that is.

1110
01:14:31,091 --> 01:14:33,332
Yes.

1111
01:14:34,220 --> 01:14:36,460
Pilchards never did agree with me.

1112
01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:41,003
I must put some skin
lotion on those spots.

1113
01:14:41,103 --> 01:14:44,922
Yes. Oh, they'll...
they'll soon clear up.

1114
01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:48,218
I'll pop down to the chemist...
chemist in the morning.

1115
01:14:48,318 --> 01:14:50,512
I'll get some... get some ointment.

1116
01:14:50,612 --> 01:14:52,639
Yes.

1117
01:14:52,739 --> 01:14:57,980
We could do with some
lozenges or pastilles, too.

1118
01:15:00,247 --> 01:15:04,030
- I've still got a terrible throat.
- Yes, so have I.

1119
01:15:04,918 --> 01:15:06,946
I wonder...

1120
01:15:07,046 --> 01:15:11,034
if they'll be able to
sell us some water.

1121
01:15:11,134 --> 01:15:14,120
I'm going to have an
early night, James.

1122
01:15:15,638 --> 01:15:19,500
We could do with a good long
rest after that blessed bomb.

1123
01:15:19,600 --> 01:15:24,755
Oh, yes, yes. It's bound to take
it out of you, a thing like that.

1124
01:15:24,855 --> 01:15:29,006
Yeah, it's a... it's a
shock to the system.

1125
01:15:29,819 --> 01:15:32,263
Oh, yes. I expect so.

1126
01:15:32,363 --> 01:15:35,351
Oh!

1127
01:15:35,451 --> 01:15:37,608
Look!

1128
01:15:38,495 --> 01:15:39,896
My hair's coming out!

1129
01:15:39,996 --> 01:15:42,816
Don't... Don't worry, dearest.

1130
01:15:42,916 --> 01:15:45,028
Don't worry, don't worry.

1131
01:15:45,128 --> 01:15:47,529
Women don't go bald. No!

1132
01:15:47,629 --> 01:15:51,079
That's... That's a scientific fact.

1133
01:15:53,135 --> 01:15:56,706
Shall we get into those
paper bags again?

1134
01:15:56,806 --> 01:15:59,500
Well, whatever for, dear?

1135
01:15:59,600 --> 01:16:02,208
Well, you never know.

1136
01:16:04,688 --> 01:16:07,342
There might be another
one while we're asleep.

1137
01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:10,762
Well, I... I suppose it...
wouldn't hurt.

1138
01:16:10,862 --> 01:16:16,352
It... It would be a...
a sensible precautionary m-measure

1139
01:16:16,452 --> 01:16:19,563
in the... in the...
in the circumstances.

1140
01:16:19,663 --> 01:16:25,610
After all, really, this is
an all-out war situation,

1141
01:16:25,710 --> 01:16:27,362
and... Well, I mean,

1142
01:16:27,462 --> 01:16:33,452
another I... IBM... might...
might come over.

1143
01:16:35,721 --> 01:16:39,500
Oh, it's stuffy in these bags.

1144
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,627
Yes.

1145
01:16:41,727 --> 01:16:46,174
Now you know what it
feels like to be a potato.

1146
01:16:47,065 --> 01:16:51,012
I should hate that,
being buried in the ground.

1147
01:16:51,112 --> 01:16:53,764
Oh, yes. Yes, so would I.

1148
01:16:53,864 --> 01:16:58,228
- Give me... cremation every time.
- Oh, me too.

1149
01:17:01,206 --> 01:17:08,655
We'd better just stay here and wait
for the... emergency services to arrive.

1150
01:17:08,755 --> 01:17:13,202
Y-y-yes. Yes, they'll... they'll take...
they'll take good care of us.

1151
01:17:13,302 --> 01:17:16,075
We won't have to worry about...
about a thing.

1152
01:17:16,805 --> 01:17:20,623
Just... Just leave
everything to them.

1153
01:17:23,271 --> 01:17:28,175
The governmental authorities...
will know what to do with us.

1154
01:17:28,275 --> 01:17:30,515
The powers that be...

1155
01:17:31,737 --> 01:17:34,346
will get to us in the end.

1156
01:17:35,325 --> 01:17:40,647
You have got the box with our medical
cards and birth certificates, haven't you?

1157
01:17:40,747 --> 01:17:42,986
Yes, dear, yes.

1158
01:17:44,125 --> 01:17:46,366
They're quite safe.

1159
01:17:48,880 --> 01:17:51,406
Shall we pray, dear?

1160
01:17:53,343 --> 01:17:55,370
- Pray?
- Yes.

1161
01:17:55,470 --> 01:18:00,333
Oh, crumbs. Who... Who to?

1162
01:18:00,433 --> 01:18:03,712
Well, God, of course.

1163
01:18:03,812 --> 01:18:06,090
Oh... Oh, I see.

1164
01:18:06,190 --> 01:18:12,972
Y-yes. If you think it... it... would be...
would be the correct thing. Hm?

1165
01:18:13,072 --> 01:18:17,060
- It can't do any harm, dear.
- OK.

1166
01:18:18,060 --> 01:18:20,810
Here goes.

1167
01:18:21,913 --> 01:18:25,276
Dear... sir...

1168
01:18:25,376 --> 01:18:27,403
No, that's wrong.

1169
01:18:27,503 --> 01:18:31,532
Well... How... How...
How do you start?

1170
01:18:31,632 --> 01:18:33,993
Oh, God...

1171
01:18:34,093 --> 01:18:38,373
Our help... in ages past?

1172
01:18:38,473 --> 01:18:41,246
That's it. Keep it up.

1173
01:18:41,935 --> 01:18:47,508
Almighty and most
merciful Father...

1174
01:18:47,608 --> 01:18:50,135
Oh, that's good.

1175
01:18:50,235 --> 01:18:53,056
Dearly beloved,

1176
01:18:53,156 --> 01:18:59,310
we are gathered...
u-u-unto thee...

1177
01:19:00,078 --> 01:19:03,648
I shall fear no evil.

1178
01:19:04,583 --> 01:19:08,779
Thy rod... and thy staff...
comfort me

1179
01:19:08,879 --> 01:19:13,290
all... the days...
the days of my life.

1180
01:19:14,843 --> 01:19:20,121
L-Lay me down... in...
in green pastures...

1181
01:19:22,351 --> 01:19:25,339
I... I can't remember any more.

1182
01:19:26,440 --> 01:19:28,679
That was nice.

1183
01:19:29,509 --> 01:19:32,304
I liked the bit about
the green pasture.

1184
01:19:32,404 --> 01:19:34,431
Oh, oh, yes, yes.

1185
01:19:34,531 --> 01:19:39,773
Into the valley of the
shadow of death...

1186
01:19:41,461 --> 01:19:44,776
No more, love.

1187
01:19:45,376 --> 01:19:48,581
No more.

1188
01:19:58,865 --> 01:20:01,853
<i>Rockabye baby</i>

1189
01:20:02,994 --> 01:20:05,188
<i>On the tree top</i>

1190
01:20:07,249 --> 01:20:10,273
<i>When the wind blows</i>

1191
01:20:11,003 --> 01:20:13,327
<i>The cradle will rock</i>

1192
01:20:13,714 --> 01:20:15,658
<i>Oh, babe</i>

1193
01:20:18,259 --> 01:20:22,293
<i>Hate to see you fall that way</i>

1194
01:20:22,597 --> 01:20:27,082
<i>Better speak to the
powers that be today</i>

1195
01:20:30,522 --> 01:20:36,846
<i>Hey Joe, where you goin'
with that gun in your hand?</i>

1196
01:20:37,447 --> 01:20:40,186
<i>You can take your revenge</i>

1197
01:20:40,575 --> 01:20:43,314
<i>But you'll still feel bad</i>

1198
01:20:44,788 --> 01:20:49,109
<i>There must be more to
life than lucky strikes</i>

1199
01:20:49,209 --> 01:20:53,029
<i>And some unlucky ones</i>

1200
01:20:53,922 --> 01:20:57,373
<i>And folded flags and pipes</i>

1201
01:20:57,760 --> 01:20:59,622
<i>And drums</i>

1202
01:21:06,935 --> 01:21:09,296
<i>I stood in the wings with you</i>

1203
01:21:09,396 --> 01:21:13,715
<i>Our lives in the hands
of a second-rate actor</i>

1204
01:21:14,110 --> 01:21:16,137
<i>Holding the high ground</i>

1205
01:21:16,237 --> 01:21:19,475
<i>Of some old stage</i>

1206
01:21:21,367 --> 01:21:23,727
<i>Oh, babe</i>

1207
01:21:24,119 --> 01:21:29,696
<i>How do these jaded
stars get so far away?</i>

1208
01:21:30,460 --> 01:21:35,620
<i>Will they catch what
the moral had to say?</i>

1209
01:21:38,593 --> 01:21:44,369
<i>Hey Joe, where you goin' with
that dogma in your head?</i>

1210
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,628
<i>You can prove your point</i>

1211
01:21:47,728 --> 01:21:51,132
<i>But your kids will still be dead</i>

1212
01:21:54,735 --> 01:21:56,762
<i>Bring down the curtain</i>

1213
01:21:56,862 --> 01:22:01,512
<i>This soap opera must surely close</i>

1214
01:22:02,409 --> 01:22:07,154
<i>Before the cold wind blows</i>

1215
01:22:46,413 --> 01:22:53,068
<i>Hey Joe, where you goin'
with that gun in your hand?</i>

1216
01:22:54,046 --> 01:22:56,157
<i>You can take your revenge</i>

1217
01:22:56,257 --> 01:23:00,207
<i>But you'll still feel bad</i>

1218
01:23:02,679 --> 01:23:05,788
<i>Bring down the curtain</i>

1219
01:23:06,601 --> 01:23:09,340
<i>This show must close</i>

1220
01:23:11,189 --> 01:23:18,010
<i>Before the cold wind blows</i>

1221
01:23:18,529 --> 01:23:21,721
<i>So rockabye baby</i>

1222
01:23:23,034 --> 01:23:24,812
<i>On the tree top</i>

1223
01:23:24,912 --> 01:23:27,652
<i>When the wind blows</i>

1224
01:23:27,957 --> 01:23:31,408
<i>The cradle will rock</i>

1225
01:23:32,961 --> 01:23:37,449
<i>There must be more to
life than lucky strikes</i>

1226
01:23:37,549 --> 01:23:41,369
<i>And some unlucky ones</i>

1227
01:23:42,096 --> 01:23:45,797
<i>And folded flags and pipes</i>

1228
01:23:46,184 --> 01:23:48,508
<i>And drums</i>