1
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:12,339
<i>Saturday, March 24, 1984.</i>

2
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:17,511
<i>Shermer High School,
Shermer, Illinois, 60062.</i>

3
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,394
<i>Dear Mr. Vernon.</i>

4
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,231
<i>We accept the fact that we had to
sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention</i>

5
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,733
<i>for whatever it was
we did wrong.</i>

6
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,610
<i>What we did was wrong</i>

7
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,905
<i>but we think you're crazy
to make us write an essay</i>

8
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,699
<i>telling you who we think we are.</i>

9
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,035
<i>What do you care?</i>

10
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,830
<i>You see us
as you want to see us,</i>

11
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:49,209
<i>in the simplest terms, with the
most convenient definitions.</i>

12
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,087
<i>You see us as a brain,</i>

13
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:56,300
<i>an athlete, a basket case,</i>

14
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,427
<i>a princess,</i>

15
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,263
<i>and a criminal.</i>

16
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,141
<i>Correct?</i>

17
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,397
<i>That's the way we saw each
other at 7:00 this morning.</i>

18
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,108
<i>We were brainwashed.</i>

19
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,287
I can't believe you can't
get me out of this.

20
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:30,209
It's so absurd I have to be here
on a Saturday.

21
00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:34,630
It's not like I'm
a defective or anything.

22
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,340
I'll make it up to you.

23
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:40,135
Honey, ditching class to go shopping
doesn't make you a defective.

24
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,887
Have a good day.

25
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,853
Is this the first time
or last time we do this?

26
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,438
Last.

27
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,399
Well, get in there and use
the time to your advantage.

28
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,319
Mom, we're not supposed to study.
We have to sit there and do nothing.

29
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,404
Well, mister, you figure
out a way to study.

30
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,697
Yeah.

31
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,992
Well, go.

32
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,751
Hey, I screwed around.

33
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,671
Guys screw around. There's nothing
wrong with that,

34
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,881
except you got caught, sport.

35
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,384
Yeah, Mom already
reamed me, all right?

36
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,845
You want to miss a match?
You want to blow your ride?

37
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:28,642
Now, no school is gonna give a
scholarship to a discipline case.

38
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,566
Well, well. Here we are.

39
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,820
I wanna congratulate you
for being on time.

40
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,990
Excuse me, sir? I think there's
been a mistake.

41
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:11,453
I know it's detention, but I
don't think I belong in here.

42
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,125
It is now 7:06.

43
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:22,547
You have exactly eight hours and 54
minutes to think about why you're here.

44
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,300
Ponder the error of your ways.

45
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,429
You may not talk.

46
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,476
You will not move
from these seats.

47
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,482
And you will not sleep.

48
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:49,491
All right, people, we're going to try
something a little different today.

49
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:55,372
We are going to write an essay
of no less than 1000 words

50
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,959
describing to me
who you think you are.

51
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,127
Is this a test?

52
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,964
And when I say essay,
I mean essay.

53
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:10,345
I do not mean a single word
repeated 1000 times.

54
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,223
Is that clear, Mr. Bender?

55
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,599
Crystal.

56
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,019
Good. Maybe you'll learn
something about yourself.

57
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,107
Maybe you'll even decide whether
or not you care to return.

58
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,737
I can answer that right now, sir.
That'd be "no" for me, 'cause...

59
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,156
Sit down, Johnson.

60
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,574
Thank you, sir.

61
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:37,205
My office is right across that hall.
Any monkey business is ill-advised.

62
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,374
Any questions?

63
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,211
Yeah. I got a question.

64
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:47,174
Does Barry Manilow know
that you raid his wardrobe?

65
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:51,511
I'll give you the answer to that question,
Mr. Bender, next Saturday.

66
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:56,099
Don't mess with the bull, young
man, you'll get the horns.

67
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,062
That man is a brownie hound.

68
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,765
You keep eating your hand, you're
not going to be hungry for lunch.

69
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,769
I've seen you before, you know.

70
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,948
Who I think I am.

71
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,452
Who are you?

72
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,498
I am a walrus.

73
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,199
It's the shits, huh?

74
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,190
I can't believe this is
really happening to me.

75
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,109
Oh, shit!

76
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,279
What are we supposed to
do if we have to piss?

77
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,405
Please.

78
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,198
If you got to go, you got to go.

79
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,869
Oh, my God.

80
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,357
You're not urinating
in here, man.

81
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,373
Don't talk. Don't talk.
It makes it crawl back up.

82
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,043
You whip it out, you're dead before
the first drop hits the floor.

83
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,129
You're pretty sexy
when you get angry.

84
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:38,011
Hey, homeboy, why don't
you go close that door?

85
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,764
We'll get the prom queen
impregnated.

86
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,558
Hey. Hey!

87
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,018
What?

88
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,646
If I lose my temper,
you're totaled, man.

89
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,397
Totally?

90
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,358
Totally.

91
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,653
Why don't you shut up?
Nobody here's interested.

92
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,448
Really. Buttface.

93
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:03,495
Hey, sporto, what'd you do to get in here?
Forget to wash your jock?

94
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,899
Excuse me, fellows, I think we
should just write our papers.

95
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,873
Just because you live in here

96
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,583
doesn't give you the right
to be a pain in the ass.

97
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,126
So knock it off!

98
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,171
It's a free country.

99
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:17,050
He's just doing it to get a rise
out of you. Just ignore him.

100
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,135
Sweets.

101
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,515
You couldn't
ignore me if you tried.

102
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,560
So...

103
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,397
So,

104
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,609
are you guys like
boyfriend-girlfriend?

105
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,487
Steady dates?

106
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,699
Lovers?

107
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,161
Come on, sporto.
Level with me.

108
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,914
Do you slip her
the hot-beef injection?

109
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,457
- Go to hell!
- Enough!

110
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,043
Hey! What's going on in there?

111
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,131
Spoiled little pricks.

112
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,472
Scumbag.

113
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,476
What do you say
we close that door?

114
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,604
Can't have any kind of party with Vernon
checking us out every few seconds.

115
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:13,523
You know the door's
supposed to stay open.

116
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,400
- So what?
- So why don't you just shut up?

117
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,818
There's four other people
in here, you know?

118
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,572
God, you can count. See, I knew you
had to be smart to be a wrestler.

119
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,240
Who the hell are you
to judge anybody anyway?

120
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,908
Really.

121
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,952
You know, Bender,
you don't even count.

122
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,913
If you disappear forever, it
wouldn't make any difference.

123
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,000
You may as well not even exist
at this school.

124
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,756
Well, I'll run right out
and join the wrestling team.

125
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:41,760
Maybe the prep club, too.
Student council.

126
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,928
No. They wouldn't take you.

127
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,263
I'm hurt.

128
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,182
You know why guys like you
knock everything?

129
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,558
This should be stunning.

130
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:49,934
Because you're afraid.

131
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,686
Oh, God.
You richies are so smart.

132
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,105
That's exactly why
I'm not heavy in activities.

133
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,732
You're a big coward.

134
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,108
I'm in a Math Club.

135
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:01,571
You're afraid that they won't take you, you
don't belong, so you dump all over it.

136
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,865
Well, it wouldn't
have anything to do

137
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,327
with you activities people
being assholes, would it?

138
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,079
Well, you wouldn't know.
You don't even know any of us.

139
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,998
Well, I don't know
any lepers either,

140
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,250
but I'm not going to run and
join one of their fucking clubs.

141
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,960
Hey, let's watch the mouth, huh?

142
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,754
I'm in Physics Club, too.

143
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,799
Excuse me a sec.
What are you babbling about?

144
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:24,385
What I said was that
I'm in the Math Club,

145
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,722
the Latin Club and the Physics Club.
Physics Club.

146
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,893
Hey. Cherry.

147
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,147
Do you belong to the Physics Club?

148
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,107
That's an academic club.

149
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,151
So?

150
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,073
Academic clubs aren't the same
as other kinds of clubs.

151
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,992
But to dorks like him, they are.

152
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,579
What do you guys do
in your club?

153
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:56,584
In physics, well, we talk about physics.
Properties of physics.

154
00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:01,548
So it's sort of social. Demented and sad,
but social, right?

155
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,385
I guess you could consider
it a social situation.

156
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,429
I mean, there are
other children in my club.

157
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:14,269
And at the end of the year, we have...
We have a big banquet at the Hilton.

158
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,437
You load up. You party.

159
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:21,150
No. We get dressed up,
but we don't get high.

160
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,861
Only burners like you get high.

161
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,196
And I didn't have any shoes,
so I had to borrow my dad's.

162
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,199
It's weird 'cause my mom doesn't like
me to wear other people's shoes.

163
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,953
My cousin Kent... My cousin Kendall from
Indiana, he got high once.

164
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,622
And, you know, he started eating,
like, really weird foods.

165
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:39,210
Then he felt like he didn't belong anywhere,
kind of like Twilight Zone, kind of.

166
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,378
Sounds like you.

167
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:43,131
You guys keep up your talking
and Vernon's gonna come in.

168
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,295
I got a meet this Saturday,

169
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,301
and I'm not gonna miss it
on account of you boneheads.

170
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:51,097
Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite?
Missing a whole wrestling meet?

171
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,349
You wouldn't know anything
about it, faggot.

172
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,914
You never competed
in your whole life.

173
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,687
Oh, I know. I feel all empty inside
because of it.

174
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:02,650
I have such a deep admiration for guys who
roll around on the floor with other guys.

175
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,403
You'd never miss it.
You don't have any goals.

176
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,823
Oh, but I do.
I want to be just like you.

177
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,827
I figure all I need's
a lobotomy and some tights.

178
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,498
You wear tights?

179
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,794
No, I don't wear tights.
I wear the required uniform.

180
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,172
- Tights.
- Shut up.

181
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,861
There's not supposed to
be any monkey business.

182
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,614
Young man, have you
finished your paper?

183
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,162
Come on Bender.
Don't screw around.

184
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,246
What are you going to do?

185
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,456
Drop dead, I hope.

186
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,176
All right!

187
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:14,097
Bender, that's school property
there, and it doesn't belong to us.

188
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,307
It's something
not to be toyed with.

189
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,934
That's very funny. Come on, Fix it.

190
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,852
- You should really fix that.
- Am I a genius?

191
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,813
- No, you're an asshole.
- What a funny guy.

192
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:22,897
Fix the door, Bender.

193
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,982
Everyone, just...

194
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,483
I've been here before.
I know what I'm doing.

195
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,902
- No. Fix the door!
- Shut up!

196
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,862
God damn it!

197
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:41,332
Why is that door closed?

198
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,877
How are we supposed to know?
We're not supposed to move.

199
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,713
Why?

200
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,967
We're just sitting here
like we're supposed to.

201
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,598
Who closed that door?

202
00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,393
I think a screw fell out of it.

203
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,103
It just closed, sir.

204
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,022
Who?

205
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,276
She doesn't talk, sir.

206
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,405
- Give me that screw.
- I don't have it.

207
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,907
You want me to yank you out of
that seat and shake it out of you?

208
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,243
I don't have it.
Screws fall out all the time.

209
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,870
The world's an imperfect place.

210
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,455
Give it to me, Bender.

211
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,708
Excuse me, sir. Why would anybody
want to steal a screw?

212
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,626
Watch it, young lady.

213
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,889
The door's way too heavy, sir.

214
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,897
Damn it!

215
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:56,991
Andrew Clark, get up here. Come on.
Front and center. Let's go.

216
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,703
Hey, how come
Andrew gets to get up?

217
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:01,871
That's right.

218
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,750
If he gets up, we'll all get up.
It'll be anarchy!

219
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,753
Watch the magazines.

220
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,671
It's out of my hands.

221
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:18,471
That's very clever, sir,
but what if there's a fire?

222
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,601
I think violating fire codes and
endangering the lives of children

223
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,354
would be unwise at this
juncture in your career, sir.

224
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:30,608
All right. What are you doing with this?
Get this out of here, for God's sake.

225
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:31,943
What's the matter with you?
Come on!

226
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,655
You know, the school comes equipped with
fire exits at either end of the library.

227
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,199
- Show Dick some respect.
- Let's go.

228
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,202
Go. Get back in your seat.

229
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,416
I expected a little more
from a varsity Letterman.

230
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,296
You're not fooling anybody,
Bender.

231
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,550
The next screw that falls out
is gonna be you.

232
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,678
- Eat my shorts.
- What was that?

233
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,892
Eat my shorts.

234
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,353
You just bought yourself
another Saturday, mister.

235
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,771
Oh, I'm crushed.

236
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,022
You just bought
one more right there.

237
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,651
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that.
Beyond that, I'll have to check my calendar.

238
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:17,113
Good! Because it's gonna
be filled. We'll keep going.

239
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,825
You want another one? Say the word.
Just say the word.

240
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,911
Instead of going to prison,
you'll come here.

241
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,831
- Are you through?
- No.

242
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,791
- I'm doing society a favor.
- So?

243
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,209
That's another right now.

244
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,546
I've got you for the rest of your
life if you don't watch your step.

245
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:34,672
You want another one?

246
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:35,798
Yes.

247
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:39,135
You got it! You got another one right
there. That's another one, pal.

248
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:42,180
Cut it out! Stop.

249
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,472
You through?

250
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,017
Not even close, bud.

251
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,060
You got one more right there.

252
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,812
You really think I give a shit?

253
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,105
Another.

254
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,400
You through?

255
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,860
How many is that?

256
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,863
That's seven, including the one
when you asked Mr. Vernon here

257
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,827
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.

258
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,533
Now it's eight. You stay out of it.

259
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,784
Excuse me, sir. it's seven.

260
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,453
Shut up, peewee.

261
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,752
You're mine, Bender.
For two months, I got you.

262
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,546
I got you.

263
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,091
What can I say? I'm thrilled.

264
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,776
Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what
you want these people to believe.

265
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,512
You know something?

266
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,599
You ought to spend a little more time
trying to do something with yourself

267
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:29,727
and a little less time
trying to impress people.

268
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:33,522
You might be better off.
All right. That's it!

269
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,442
I'm gonna be
right outside those doors.

270
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:40,238
The next time I have to come
in here, I'm cracking skulls.

271
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,960
Fuck you!

272
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,471
Fuck.

273
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:49,408
Wake up!

274
00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:55,122
Who has to go to the lavatory?

275
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,892
That's real intelligent.

276
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:16,310
You're right.

277
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,272
It's wrong to
destroy literature.

278
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:22,316
It's such fun to read.

279
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:24,735
And,

280
00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:29,990
Molay really pumps my nads.

281
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,283
Molière.

282
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,080
I love his work.

283
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:49,343
Big deal. Nothing to do when
you're locked in a vacancy.

284
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:51,470
Speak for yourself.

285
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:55,558
Do you think I'd speak for you? I
don't even know your language.

286
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,147
Hey, you grounded tonight?

287
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:06,360
I don't know. My mom said I was. My
dad told me just to blow her off.

288
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:13,325
There's a big party at Stubby's.
His parents are in Europe.

289
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:14,535
It should be pretty wild.

290
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:15,619
Yeah?

291
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,455
Are you going to go?

292
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,082
I doubt it.

293
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,292
How come?

294
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:23,210
'Cause if I do what
my mother tells me not to do,

295
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,795
it's because
my father says it's okay.

296
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,632
It's like this whole, big monster deal.
It's endless. It's a total drag.

297
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,093
It's like, any minute, divorce.

298
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,928
Who do you like better?

299
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,138
What?

300
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,307
You like your old man
better than your mom?

301
00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:37,433
They're both screwed.

302
00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:40,436
No, I mean, if you had to
choose between them.

303
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,357
I don't know. Probably
go live with my brother.

304
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:50,718
I mean, I don't think either one
of them gives a shit about me.

305
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,990
It's like they use me
to get back at each other.

306
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:54,241
Ha!

307
00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:04,627
Shut up!

308
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,171
You're just feeling sorry
for yourself.

309
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:09,006
Yeah, if I didn't,
nobody else would.

310
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:10,549
Oh, you're breaking my heart.

311
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,176
- Sporto?
- What?

312
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,264
You get along with your parents?

313
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,100
Well, if I say yes,
I'm an idiot, right?

314
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,771
You're an idiot anyway.

315
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:28,275
But if you say you get along with your
parents, well, you're a liar, too.

316
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:39,995
You know something, man? If we
weren't in school, I'd waste you.

317
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:42,081
Can you hear this?

318
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:45,125
You want me to turn it up?

319
00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,629
Hey, fellows, I mean...

320
00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:53,551
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't...

321
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:57,972
I don't get along with them. Their idea
of parental compassion

322
00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:01,809
is just, you know,
wacko, you know.

323
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:03,769
- Dork.
- Yeah?

324
00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:06,939
You are a parent's
wet dream, okay?

325
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,485
That's the problem.

326
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,779
Look, I can see you getting
all bunged up for them

327
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,906
making you wear
these kind of clothes,

328
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:19,159
but, face it, you're
a Neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie.

329
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,578
What would you be doing

330
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,746
if you weren't out making
yourself a better citizen?

331
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,374
Why do you have to
insult everybody?

332
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,043
I'm being honest, asshole.

333
00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:31,463
I would expect you
to know the difference.

334
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,007
Well, he's got a name.

335
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:34,633
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

336
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:36,719
- What's your name?
- Brian.

337
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:38,345
See?

338
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:39,513
My condolences.

339
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,685
What's your name?

340
00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,356
What's yours?

341
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,735
- Claire.
- Claire?

342
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:55,195
Claire. It's a family name.

343
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,448
- Oh. it's a fat girl's name.
- Oh, thank you.

344
00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:59,116
- You're welcome.
- I'm not fat.

345
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,703
Not at present, but I can see you
really pushing maximum density.

346
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:07,625
You see, I'm not sure if you know this,
but there are two kinds of fat people.

347
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:09,918
There's fat people
that were born to be fat

348
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:13,714
and there's fat people that were
once thin, but they became fat.

349
00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:17,885
So when you look at them, you can
sort of see that thin person inside.

350
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:19,553
You see, you're gonna
get married.

351
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:22,723
You're gonna squeeze out
a few puppies, and then...

352
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:31,231
Oh. Obscene finger gestures
from such a pristine girl.

353
00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:33,734
I'm not that pristine.

354
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,948
Are you a virgin?

355
00:27:41,951 --> 00:27:46,080
I'll bet you a million
dollars that you are.

356
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,084
Let's end the suspense.

357
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:53,921
Is it going to be
a white wedding?

358
00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:55,711
Why don't you just shut up?

359
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,467
Have you ever kissed a boy
on the mouth?

360
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,764
Have you ever been felt up

361
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:07,101
over the bra, under the blouse,

362
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:09,812
your shoes off,

363
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:12,731
hoping to God
your parents don't walk in?

364
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,819
Do you want me to puke?

365
00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:20,614
Over the panties,

366
00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,118
no bra,

367
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,621
blouse unbuttoned,

368
00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:32,793
Calvins in a ball on the front
seat past 11:00 on a school night?

369
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,255
Leave her alone.

370
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,475
I said leave her alone.

371
00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:53,272
You gonna make me?

372
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,107
Yeah.

373
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,159
You and how many
of your friends?

374
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,161
Just me.

375
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:11,206
Just you and me.
Two hits.

376
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:15,294
Me hitting you. You hitting the floor.
Anytime you're ready, pal.

377
00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:25,596
I don't want to
get into this, man.

378
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,849
Why not?

379
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,643
Because I'd kill you.

380
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,565
It's real simple.

381
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:41,612
I'd kill you and your fucking parents
would sue me, and it'd be a big mess.

382
00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:44,490
I don't care enough
about you to bother.

383
00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:47,367
Chickenshit.

384
00:29:59,255 --> 00:30:01,256
Let's end this right now.

385
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:05,469
You don't talk to her.
You don't look at her.

386
00:30:05,553 --> 00:30:09,014
And you don't even think about her!
You understand me?

387
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:12,059
I'm trying to help her.

388
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,750
Brian, how you doing?

389
00:30:38,294 --> 00:30:40,045
Your dad work here?

390
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:47,302
- Carl?
- What?

391
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,554
Can I ask you a question?

392
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:49,721
Sure.

393
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:52,599
How does one become a janitor?

394
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,017
You want to be a janitor?

395
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:56,520
No. I just want to know
how one becomes a janitor,

396
00:30:56,604 --> 00:30:58,355
because Andrew here

397
00:30:58,439 --> 00:31:02,150
is very interested in pursuing a
career in the custodial arts.

398
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,610
Oh, really?

399
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:09,950
You guys think I'm some untouchable
peasant, serf, peon, you know?

400
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:14,538
Maybe so. But following a broom around
after shitheads like you

401
00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:17,124
for the last eight years, I've
learned a couple of things.

402
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:20,794
I look through your letters.
I look through your lockers.

403
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,340
I listen to your conversations.
You don't know that, but I do.

404
00:31:25,425 --> 00:31:29,136
I am the eyes and ears of
this institution, my friends.

405
00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:35,684
By the way, that
clock's 20 minutes fast.

406
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,021
Shit.

407
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:27,486
All right, girls.
That's 30 minutes for lunch.

408
00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:29,321
- Here?
- Here.

409
00:32:29,864 --> 00:32:33,575
I think the cafeteria would be a more
suitable place for us to eat lunch in.

410
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:36,453
I don't care
what you think, Andrew.

411
00:32:36,537 --> 00:32:37,704
Dick?

412
00:32:38,164 --> 00:32:42,125
Excuse me, Rich. Will milk be made
available to us?

413
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:43,961
We're extremely thirsty, sir.

414
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,630
I have a really low
tolerance for dehydration.

415
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:49,758
I've seen her dehydrated, sir.
It's pretty gross.

416
00:32:49,842 --> 00:32:51,551
Relax. I'll get it.

417
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:55,764
Grab some wood there, bub.

418
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,101
What, do you think
I was born yesterday?

419
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:03,063
You think I'm going to have
you roaming these halls?

420
00:33:04,273 --> 00:33:05,315
You.

421
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:13,949
And you. Hey!

422
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,327
What's her name?
Wake her up.

423
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:21,456
Hey, come on. On your feet, Missy.
Let's go! This is no rest home.

424
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:27,337
There's a soft drink machine in the
teachers' lounge. Let's go.

425
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,220
So what's your poison?

426
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:39,891
What do you drink?

427
00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:44,146
Okay. Forget I asked.

428
00:33:46,649 --> 00:33:47,858
Vodka.

429
00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:53,030
Vodka? When do you
drink vodka?

430
00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:55,115
Whenever.

431
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,784
A lot?

432
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,077
Tons.

433
00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:02,289
Is that why you're here today?

434
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,542
- Why are you here?
- Why are you here?

435
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:15,010
I'm here today because...

436
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:20,682
Because my coach and my father
don't want me to blow my ride.

437
00:34:21,642 --> 00:34:25,395
I get treated differently because
coach thinks I'm a winner.

438
00:34:25,813 --> 00:34:27,564
So does my old man.

439
00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:30,317
I'm not a winner
because I want to be one.

440
00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:34,404
I'm a winner because I got strength
and speed, kind of like a racehorse.

441
00:34:35,823 --> 00:34:38,617
That's about how involved I am
in what's happening to me.

442
00:34:38,701 --> 00:34:39,826
Yeah?

443
00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:43,163
That's very interesting.

444
00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:50,045
Now why don't you tell me
why you're really in here.

445
00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,297
Forget it.

446
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:03,391
Claire? Want to see a picture of a
guy with elephantiasis of the nuts?

447
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:05,435
- It's pretty tasty.
- No, thank you.

448
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,938
How do you think
he rides a bike?

449
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:14,694
Claire? Would you consider
dating a guy like this?

450
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:18,198
Can't you just leave me alone? I
mean, if he had a great personality,

451
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,951
was a good dancer
and had a cool car?

452
00:35:21,035 --> 00:35:25,872
You'd probably have to ride in the backseat
because his nuts would ride shotgun.

453
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:28,708
You know what I
wish I was doing?

454
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,586
Watch what you say.
Brian here is a cherry.

455
00:35:31,754 --> 00:35:33,004
A cherry?

456
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:36,133
I wish I was
in a plane to France.

457
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:37,551
I'm not a cherry.

458
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:38,969
When have you ever gotten laid?

459
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:41,304
I've laid lots of times.

460
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,014
Name one.

461
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,475
She lives in Canada.

462
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,895
I met her at Niagara Falls.
You wouldn't know her.

463
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,231
Ever laid anyone around here?

464
00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:55,735
Oh. You and Claire did it?

465
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:59,573
- What are you talking about?
- Nothing. Nothing.

466
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,283
Let's just drop it, okay?
We'll talk about it later.

467
00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:02,576
What are you talking about?

468
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:03,910
Brian's trying to tell me

469
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:07,372
that in addition to the number of
girls in the Niagara Falls area,

470
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:10,876
that presently you and he
are riding the hobby horse.

471
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:13,336
- Little pig.
- No, I'm not.

472
00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:17,382
John said I was a cherry, and I said
I wasn't. That's all that was said.

473
00:36:17,466 --> 00:36:19,926
Then what were you
motioning to Claire for?

474
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,970
I don't appreciate this
very much, Brian.

475
00:36:22,054 --> 00:36:23,180
He is lying.

476
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:25,599
You weren't motioning to Claire?

477
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:27,851
You know he's lying, right?

478
00:36:27,935 --> 00:36:30,729
Were you or were you not
motioning to Claire?

479
00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:33,607
Yeah, but it was only...

480
00:36:34,817 --> 00:36:38,445
it was only because I didn't
want her to know I was a virgin.

481
00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:41,948
Excuse me for being
a virgin. I'm sorry.

482
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,201
Why didn't you want me to know
you were a virgin?

483
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:47,454
Because it's personal business. It's my
personal, private business.

484
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,624
Well, Brian, it doesn't sound
like you're doing any business.

485
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,627
I think it's okay
for a guy to be a virgin.

486
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:55,503
You do?

487
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,308
What's in there?

488
00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:10,977
Guess. Where's your lunch?

489
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,688
You're wearing it.

490
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,941
You're nauseating.

491
00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,332
What's that?

492
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,167
Sushi.

493
00:37:35,294 --> 00:37:36,294
Sushi?

494
00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:40,507
Rice, raw fish and seaweed.

495
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:47,013
You won't accept a guy's tongue in
your mouth, and you're gonna eat that?

496
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,390
Can I eat?

497
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,018
I don't know. Give it a try.

498
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,056
What's your problem?

499
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:31,451
What are we having?

500
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,455
It's your standard,
regular lunch, I guess.

501
00:39:37,625 --> 00:39:39,417
- Milk?
- Soup.

502
00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:47,133
- That's apple juice.
- I can read.

503
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:50,553
PB&J with the crusts cut off.

504
00:39:51,847 --> 00:39:54,891
Well, Brian, this is
a very nutritious lunch.

505
00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:57,519
All the food groups
are represented.

506
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,647
Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

507
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,024
No, Mr. Johnson.

508
00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:09,906
Here's my impression
of life at big Bri's house.

509
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,746
"Son?"

510
00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:18,665
"Yeah, Dad?"

511
00:40:18,874 --> 00:40:20,917
"How's your day, pal?"

512
00:40:21,168 --> 00:40:22,502
"Great, Dad."

513
00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:24,003
"How's yours?"

514
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,630
"Super."

515
00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:31,010
"Say, son, how'd you like to
go fishing this weekend?"

516
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:36,141
"Great, Dad. But I've got homework to do."

517
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:40,562
"That's all right, son.
You can do it on the boat."

518
00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:42,814
"Gee!"

519
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,902
"Dear, isn't our son swell?"

520
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,280
"Yes, dear."

521
00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:52,532
"isn't life swell?"

522
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:57,203
"Oh..."

523
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,132
All right. What about your family?

524
00:41:09,216 --> 00:41:10,967
- Who, mine?
- Yeah.

525
00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:12,552
It's real easy.

526
00:41:21,353 --> 00:41:25,857
"Stupid, worthless, no-good,"

527
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:29,068
"goddamn freeloading
son of a bitch."

528
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:33,072
"Retarded, big mouth,
know-it-all, asshole, jerk."

529
00:41:35,409 --> 00:41:39,704
"You forgot ugly,
lazy and disrespectful."

530
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:43,041
"Shut up, bitch!
Go fix me a turkey potpie."

531
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,668
"What about you, Dad?"

532
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:47,086
"Fuck you."

533
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:54,719
"No, Dad. What about you?"
"Fuck you!"

534
00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:55,929
Bam!

535
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,392
Is that for real?

536
00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:02,727
You want to come over sometime?

537
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:04,854
That's bullshit. It's all part of
your image.

538
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,105
I don't believe a word of it.

539
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:07,899
You don't believe me?

540
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,526
- No.
- No?

541
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:11,110
Did I stutter?

542
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:22,539
Do you believe this? Huh?

543
00:42:23,832 --> 00:42:27,126
It's about the size
of a cigar. Do I stutter?

544
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:32,549
See, this is what you get in my house
when you spill paint in the garage.

545
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:39,556
I don't think that I need to sit
with you fucking dildos anymore.

546
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:50,400
Fuck!

547
00:43:11,338 --> 00:43:12,797
You shouldn't have said that.

548
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:14,424
How did I know?

549
00:43:15,884 --> 00:43:18,553
I mean, he lies about
everything anyway.

550
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:38,364
Oh, shit.

551
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:43,911
Coffee. Looks like it's been scraped off
the bottom of the Mississippi River.

552
00:43:45,664 --> 00:43:47,749
Everything's polluted.
Everything's polluted.

553
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:50,835
The coffee's polluted.
The kids are polluted.

554
00:44:03,265 --> 00:44:04,682
How do you know
where Vernon went?

555
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,225
I don't.

556
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,062
Then how do you know
when he'll be back?

557
00:44:09,146 --> 00:44:10,688
I don't.

558
00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,859
Being bad feels
pretty good. Huh?

559
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:18,905
What's the point
of going to Bender's locker?

560
00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:20,281
Beats me.

561
00:44:21,408 --> 00:44:25,495
This is so stupid. Why are we risking
getting caught?

562
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,288
I don't know.

563
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,832
So then what are we doing?

564
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:33,127
You ask me one more question, and
I'm beating the shit out of you.

565
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,379
Sorry.

566
00:44:40,552 --> 00:44:41,719
You're such a slob.

567
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:43,429
My maid's on vacation.

568
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:01,072
It's drugs.

569
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,533
Screw that, Bender.
Put it back.

570
00:45:03,617 --> 00:45:05,827
Drugs. The boy has
marijuana.

571
00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:11,124
- That was marijuana.
- Shut up, dick.

572
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:15,378
Do you approve of this?

573
00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:29,183
We'll cross through the lab,
and then we'll double back.

574
00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:30,309
You better be right.

575
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,895
If Vernon cuts us off,
it's your fault, asshole.

576
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:35,648
What did he say?
Where are we going?

577
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,902
Wait. Wait.
Hold it. Hold it.

578
00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:23,362
- We have to go through the cafeteria.
- No, the activities hall.

579
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:24,906
Hey, you don't know
what you're talking about.

580
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:26,115
You don't know.

581
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,951
We're through listening to you.
We're going this way.

582
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:32,997
You go where you want,
mother hen. Come on!

583
00:46:55,521 --> 00:46:56,521
Shit!

584
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:58,314
- Great idea, jag-off.
- Fuck you.

585
00:46:58,398 --> 00:47:00,233
Fuck you. Why didn't
you listen to John?

586
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:01,692
We're dead.

587
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:05,404
No. Just me.

588
00:47:06,448 --> 00:47:07,532
What do you mean?

589
00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:10,785
Get back to the library.
Keep your unit out of it.

590
00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:15,289
I wanna be an airborne ranger.

591
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:18,668
I wanna be an airborne ranger.

592
00:47:18,752 --> 00:47:20,169
That son of a bitch.

593
00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:22,880
Before the day I die.

594
00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:25,383
There's five things
I want to ride.

595
00:47:25,467 --> 00:47:27,969
Bicycle, tricycle, automobile.

596
00:47:28,053 --> 00:47:30,638
Virgin's mother
and a Ferris wheel.

597
00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:38,104
I wanna be an airborne ranger.

598
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:53,661
Three, two, one!

599
00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:58,624
Bender! Bender!
What is this?

600
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,189
What are you doing here?
What is this?

601
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,627
Hi.

602
00:48:03,630 --> 00:48:06,757
Out! That's it, Bender.
Out! it's over.

603
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:08,509
Don't you want to
hear my excuse?

604
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:09,886
Out.

605
00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:12,388
I'm thinking of trying out
for a scholarship.

606
00:48:12,472 --> 00:48:15,975
Give me the ball, Bender.
Give me that ball.

607
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,579
Get your stuff. Let's go.

608
00:48:38,206 --> 00:48:41,584
Mr. Wise Guy here's taken upon
himself to go to the gymnasium.

609
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,252
I'm sorry to inform you,

610
00:48:43,337 --> 00:48:46,088
you're going to be without his
services for the rest of the day.

611
00:48:46,173 --> 00:48:49,133
B-O-O-H-O-O.

612
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:52,595
Everything's a big joke, huh, Bender?
The false alarm you pulled Friday...

613
00:48:52,679 --> 00:48:55,598
False alarms are really
funny, aren't they?

614
00:48:55,849 --> 00:48:58,809
What if your home...
What if your family...

615
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:01,646
What if your dope was on fire?

616
00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:05,524
Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's
underwear.

617
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,235
You think he's funny?

618
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,114
You think this is cute? You think
he's bitching? Is that it?

619
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,451
Let me tell you something.
Look at him.

620
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,955
He's a bum.

621
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:22,875
You want to see something funny? You
go visit John Bender in five years.

622
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,503
You'll see how
goddamn funny he is.

623
00:49:32,761 --> 00:49:35,596
What's the matter, John?
You going to cry?

624
00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:41,686
- Let's go.
- Keep your fucking hands off me!

625
00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:46,023
I expect better manners
from you, Dick.

626
00:49:48,068 --> 00:49:50,069
For better hallway vision.

627
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:03,165
That's the last time, Bender.

628
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,668
That's the last time you ever make
me look bad in front of those kids.

629
00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:06,836
Do you hear me?

630
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,338
I make $31,000 a year,
and I've got a home.

631
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,299
And I'm not about to throw it
away on some punk like you.

632
00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:14,969
But someday, man, someday
when you're out of here,

633
00:50:15,053 --> 00:50:18,014
and you've forgotten all about this
place, and they've forgotten about you,

634
00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:20,975
and you're wrapped up
in your own pathetic life

635
00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:22,935
I'm gonna be there.

636
00:50:24,312 --> 00:50:27,690
That's right. And I'm gonna kick
the living shit out of you, man.

637
00:50:27,774 --> 00:50:30,443
I'm gonna knock your
dick in the dirt.

638
00:50:33,155 --> 00:50:34,905
You threatening me?

639
00:50:35,198 --> 00:50:37,450
What are you
going to do about it?

640
00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:41,954
You think anybody's
gonna believe you?

641
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:46,625
You think anybody is gonna
take your word over mine?

642
00:50:47,753 --> 00:50:50,129
I'm a man of respect around here.
They love me around here.

643
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:55,134
I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack
of shit, and everybody knows it.

644
00:50:57,345 --> 00:51:00,848
You're a real tough guy.
Hey, hey. Come on.

645
00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:04,143
Get on your feet, pal! Let's
find out how tough you are.

646
00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:06,979
I wanna know, right now,
how tough you are. Come on.

647
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,441
I'll give you the first punch.
Let's go. Come on. Right here.

648
00:51:10,525 --> 00:51:14,612
Just take the first shot. Please.
I'm begging you. Take a shot. Right here.

649
00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:18,282
Just take one shot. That's all I need.
Just one swing.

650
00:51:28,043 --> 00:51:30,002
That's what I thought.

651
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:33,881
You're a gutless turd.

652
00:52:14,214 --> 00:52:18,384
A naked blond walks into a bar
with a poodle under one arm

653
00:52:18,718 --> 00:52:21,512
and a two-foot salami
under the other.

654
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,266
She lays the poodle
on the table.

655
00:52:26,059 --> 00:52:29,895
Bartender says, "I suppose you
won't be needing a drink."

656
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:34,733
Naked lady says... Oh, shit!

657
00:52:36,069 --> 00:52:38,696
Jesus Christ Almighty!

658
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:45,786
Forgot my pencil.

659
00:52:51,376 --> 00:52:53,294
God damn it!

660
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:58,757
What in God's name
is going on in here?

661
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:00,885
What was that ruckus?

662
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:02,303
What ruckus?

663
00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,930
I was in my office,
and I heard a ruckus.

664
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:07,183
Could you describe
the ruckus, sir.

665
00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,643
Watch your tongue,
young man. Watch it.

666
00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,148
What is this?

667
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,694
What is that? What... What...
What is that noise?

668
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:19,945
What noise?

669
00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:22,781
Really, sir,
there wasn't any noise.

670
00:53:32,792 --> 00:53:35,002
That noise? Was that the noise
you were talking about?

671
00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:38,839
No, it wasn't. That was not the noise
I was talking about.

672
00:53:38,924 --> 00:53:43,719
Now, I may not have caught you in the
act this time, but you can bet I will.

673
00:53:45,805 --> 00:53:48,057
You make book on that, Missy.

674
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:52,645
And you! I will not
be made a fool of.

675
00:54:08,995 --> 00:54:10,371
It was an accident.

676
00:54:10,455 --> 00:54:12,539
You're an asshole.

677
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:15,084
Sue me.

678
00:54:21,549 --> 00:54:24,343
So, Ahab, can I
have all my doobage?

679
00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,522
Yo, wastoid. You're not gonna
blaze up in here.

680
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,613
Shit.

681
00:56:21,961 --> 00:56:26,131
Chicks cannot hold their smoke.
That's what it is.

682
00:56:30,637 --> 00:56:33,680
Do you know how popular I am?

683
00:56:33,765 --> 00:56:38,560
I am so popular. Everybody loves me
so much at this school.

684
00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:40,479
Poor baby.

685
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:50,239
Five.

686
00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:06,273
Mr... Oh, Mr. Tierney.

687
00:58:07,192 --> 00:58:11,028
A history of
slight mental illness.

688
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:13,989
No wonder he's so fucked up.

689
00:58:14,073 --> 00:58:15,449
Afternoon, Dick.

690
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,327
- Hey, Carl. How you doing?
- Good.

691
00:58:18,411 --> 00:58:20,579
- Good. What's up?
- Not much.

692
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:22,998
What's happening? What are you doing
in the basement files?

693
00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:25,375
Oh, nothing. Nothing here.
Just doing a little homework.

694
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,211
- Homework, huh?
- Yeah.

695
00:58:30,131 --> 00:58:32,424
Confidential files, huh?

696
00:58:33,426 --> 00:58:37,095
Look, Carl. This is a highly sensitive
area, and I tell you something.

697
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:39,848
Certain people would be very,
very embarrassed.

698
00:58:39,933 --> 00:58:42,601
I would really appreciate it
if this would be something

699
00:58:42,685 --> 00:58:45,938
that you and I could
keep between us.

700
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:48,148
What are you gonna
do for me, man?

701
00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:49,775
What would you like?

702
00:58:49,859 --> 00:58:51,109
Got 50 bucks?

703
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:52,361
What?

704
00:58:52,445 --> 00:58:54,154
Fifty bucks.

705
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:59,743
No, no, no, man.
No, you got a middle name?

706
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:02,871
Yeah, guess.

707
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:07,125
Your middle name is Ralph,
as in puke.

708
00:59:08,503 --> 00:59:12,422
Your birthday, it's March 12.
You're 5'91 /2".

709
00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:14,716
You weigh 130 pounds.

710
00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:17,177
And your
social security number is

711
00:59:17,262 --> 00:59:22,808
049380913.

712
00:59:24,143 --> 00:59:25,143
Wow.

713
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,563
- Are you a psychic?
- No.

714
00:59:30,149 --> 00:59:33,735
Would you mind telling me how
you know all this about me?

715
00:59:37,282 --> 00:59:38,365
I stole your wallet.

716
00:59:38,449 --> 00:59:39,449
Give it to me.

717
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:41,034
- No.
- Give it!

718
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:45,479
- This is great. You're a thief, too, huh?
- I'm not a thief.

719
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:46,957
Multitalented.

720
00:59:47,041 --> 00:59:48,125
What's there to steal?

721
00:59:48,209 --> 00:59:49,918
Two bucks and a beaver shot.

722
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,086
A what?

723
00:59:51,170 --> 00:59:53,880
He's got a nudie picture in there.
I saw it. It's perverted.

724
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,966
All right. Let's see it.

725
01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:05,225
Are all these your girlfriends?

726
01:00:05,310 --> 01:00:06,727
Some of them.

727
01:00:07,395 --> 01:00:08,854
What about the others?

728
01:00:08,938 --> 01:00:13,442
Well, some I consider my girlfriends,
and some I just consider.

729
01:00:13,526 --> 01:00:15,360
Consider what?

730
01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:18,113
Whether or not I
wanna hang out with them.

731
01:00:18,197 --> 01:00:21,158
You don't believe
in just one guy, one girl?

732
01:00:21,701 --> 01:00:23,535
- Do you?
- Yeah.

733
01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:25,996
It's the way it should be.

734
01:00:26,205 --> 01:00:27,789
Well, not for me.

735
01:00:28,082 --> 01:00:29,750
Why not?

736
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:32,294
How come you got
so much shit in your purse?

737
01:00:32,378 --> 01:00:33,962
How come you have
so many girlfriends?

738
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:36,089
I asked you first.

739
01:00:36,674 --> 01:00:39,885
I don't know. I guess I never
threw anything away.

740
01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,179
Neither do I.

741
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,305
Oh.

742
01:00:44,223 --> 01:00:47,225
This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen.

743
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:50,729
Do you realize
you made yourself 68?

744
01:00:50,813 --> 01:00:52,981
I know. I know.
I goofed it.

745
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,775
What do you need
a fake I.D. for?

746
01:00:54,859 --> 01:00:56,234
So I can vote.

747
01:00:58,237 --> 01:01:00,489
You wanna see what's in my bag?

748
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:02,366
No.

749
01:01:17,548 --> 01:01:19,132
Holy shit!

750
01:01:20,343 --> 01:01:21,718
What is all that stuff?

751
01:01:21,803 --> 01:01:24,680
Do you always carry
this much shit in your bag?

752
01:01:24,764 --> 01:01:26,264
Yeah.

753
01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:30,560
I always carry this
much shit in my bag.

754
01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:34,523
You never know when
you may have to jam.

755
01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:38,110
Are you gonna be,
like, a shopping bag lady?

756
01:01:38,945 --> 01:01:41,238
You know, like, sit in alleyways

757
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,533
and talk to buildings and wear men's
shoes and that kind of thing?

758
01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:46,702
I'll do what I have to do.

759
01:01:47,412 --> 01:01:49,746
Why do you have to do anything?

760
01:01:50,581 --> 01:01:55,627
My home life is unsatisfying.

761
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:59,464
So you're saying you'd subject
yourself to the violent dangers

762
01:01:59,549 --> 01:02:03,218
of these Chicago streets because
your home life is unsatisfying?

763
01:02:03,302 --> 01:02:05,011
I don't have to run away
and live in the street.

764
01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:07,431
I can run away
and I can go to the ocean.

765
01:02:07,515 --> 01:02:09,224
I can go to the country.
I can go to the mountains.

766
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:12,644
I could go to Israel,
Africa, Afghanistan.

767
01:02:21,863 --> 01:02:23,822
Andy, wanna get in on this?

768
01:02:23,906 --> 01:02:30,537
Allison here says she wants to run away
because her home life is unsatisfying.

769
01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:35,792
Well, everyone's
home life is unsatisfying.

770
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:39,671
And if it wasn't, people would
live with their parents forever.

771
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:43,008
Yeah, yeah, I understand,
but I think hers goes beyond

772
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:48,096
what, you know, guys like you and
me consider normal unsatisfying.

773
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:51,183
Never mind. Forget it.
Everything's cool.

774
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,852
- What's the deal?
- No.

775
01:02:54,353 --> 01:02:56,813
There's no deal, sporto.

776
01:02:56,898 --> 01:02:58,398
Forget it. Leave me alone.

777
01:02:58,483 --> 01:02:59,566
Wait a minute.

778
01:02:59,650 --> 01:03:02,611
You're carrying all that
crap around in your purse.

779
01:03:02,695 --> 01:03:04,321
Either you really
wanna run away,

780
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:06,948
or you want people to think
you wanna run away.

781
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:08,950
Eat shit.

782
01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:15,165
The girl is an island
unto herself, okay?

783
01:03:24,383 --> 01:03:25,550
Hi.

784
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,346
- You wanna talk?
- No.

785
01:03:29,722 --> 01:03:31,389
Why not?

786
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:34,267
Go away.

787
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:35,685
Where do you want me to go?

788
01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:37,354
Go away!

789
01:03:48,032 --> 01:03:49,533
You have problems.

790
01:03:49,617 --> 01:03:50,992
Oh, I have problems.

791
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,162
You do everything everybody ever
tells you to do. That is a problem.

792
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:56,957
Okay, fine. But I didn't dump
my purse out on the couch

793
01:03:57,041 --> 01:04:01,586
and invite people into
my problems, did I?

794
01:04:07,134 --> 01:04:08,885
So what's wrong?

795
01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:11,930
What is it?

796
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,687
Is it bad?

797
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:20,522
Real bad?

798
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,691
Parents?

799
01:04:38,457 --> 01:04:39,666
Yeah.

800
01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:52,137
What do they do to you?

801
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:55,891
They ignore me.

802
01:04:58,352 --> 01:05:04,149
Yeah.

803
01:05:08,070 --> 01:05:10,906
What did you wanna be
when you were young?

804
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:15,160
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be John Lennon.

805
01:05:16,537 --> 01:05:18,622
Carl, don't be a goof.

806
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:21,374
I'm trying to make
a serious point here.

807
01:05:21,459 --> 01:05:24,878
Carl, I've been
teaching for 22 years.

808
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:30,008
And each year, these kids
get more and more arrogant.

809
01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:33,094
Oh, bullshit, man.
Come on, Vern.

810
01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,055
The kids haven't changed,
you have.

811
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,269
You took a teaching position 'cause
you thought it'd be fun, right?

812
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:44,105
Thought you could have
summer vacations off.

813
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,358
And then you found out
it was actually work.

814
01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,568
That really bummed you out.

815
01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:52,656
These kids turned on me.

816
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:57,577
They think I'm
a big fucking joke.

817
01:05:57,662 --> 01:05:58,995
Come on.

818
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:03,750
Listen, Vern. if you were 16,
what would you think of you?

819
01:06:03,834 --> 01:06:08,630
Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's
ass what these kids think of me?

820
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:10,340
Yes, I do.

821
01:06:11,801 --> 01:06:15,220
You think about this. When you get old,
these kids...

822
01:06:15,304 --> 01:06:18,765
When I get old, they're gonna
be running the country.

823
01:06:19,684 --> 01:06:21,017
Yeah.

824
01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:25,021
Now this is the thought that wakes
me up in the middle of the night.

825
01:06:25,731 --> 01:06:29,275
When I get older, these kids
are gonna take care of me.

826
01:06:30,319 --> 01:06:32,237
I wouldn't count on it.

827
01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:38,743
What would I do
for a million bucks?

828
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:42,414
I guess I'd do
as little as I had to.

829
01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:43,540
That's boring.

830
01:06:43,624 --> 01:06:45,375
Well, how am I
supposed to answer?

831
01:06:45,793 --> 01:06:49,170
The idea is to, like, search your
mind for the absolute limit.

832
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:54,009
Like, would you
drive to school naked?

833
01:06:58,806 --> 01:07:00,515
Would I have to
get out of the car?

834
01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:01,766
Of course.

835
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:03,810
In the spring or winter?

836
01:07:03,894 --> 01:07:05,979
Doesn't matter. Spring.

837
01:07:06,063 --> 01:07:08,481
In front of the school
or in back of the school?

838
01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:09,691
Either one.

839
01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:11,234
Yes.

840
01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,486
I'd do that.

841
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:18,700
I'll do anything sexual. I don't need
a million dollars to do it, either.

842
01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:19,909
You're lying.

843
01:07:19,994 --> 01:07:21,745
I already have.

844
01:07:21,996 --> 01:07:26,791
I've done just about everything there is,
except a few things that are illegal.

845
01:07:27,001 --> 01:07:28,918
I'm a nymphomaniac.

846
01:07:29,628 --> 01:07:31,337
Lie.

847
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:33,923
Are your parents aware of this?

848
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:36,426
The only person
I told was my shrink.

849
01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:38,845
What did he do
when you told him?

850
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:41,014
He nailed me.

851
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,144
Very nice.

852
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:48,605
I don't think that
from a legal standpoint

853
01:07:48,689 --> 01:07:52,108
what he did can be construed
as rape since I paid him.

854
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,276
He's an adult.

855
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:55,779
Yeah. He's married, too.

856
01:07:57,615 --> 01:08:00,241
Do you have any idea how
completely gross that is?

857
01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:03,369
- Well, the first few times...
- The first few times?

858
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:05,830
- You mean, he did it more than once?
- Sure.

859
01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:07,248
Are you crazy?

860
01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:10,627
Obviously she's crazy
if she's screwing her shrink.

861
01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,838
Have you ever done it?

862
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,259
I don't even have
a psychiatrist.

863
01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:20,929
Have you ever done it
with a normal person?

864
01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:22,347
Didn't we already cover this?

865
01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:25,016
You never answered the question.

866
01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:29,437
Look. I'm not going to discuss my
private life with total strangers.

867
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:31,272
It's kind of a double-edged
sword, isn't it?

868
01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,440
A what?

869
01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:36,111
If you say you haven't,
you're a prude.

870
01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:40,281
If you say you have,
you're a slut. it's a trap.

871
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:42,200
You want to, but you can't.

872
01:08:42,284 --> 01:08:44,786
And when you do,
you wish you didn't, right?

873
01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:45,870
Wrong.

874
01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,790
Or are you a tease?

875
01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:51,209
She's a tease.

876
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:52,794
I'm sure. Why don't you forget it?

877
01:08:52,878 --> 01:08:55,421
You're a tease and you know it.
All girls are teases.

878
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:57,715
She's only a tease if what
she does gets you hot.

879
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,217
I don't do anything!

880
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:01,594
That's why you're a tease.

881
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:04,139
Okay, let me ask you
a few questions.

882
01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,974
- I already told you everything.
- No.

883
01:09:06,058 --> 01:09:08,226
Doesn't it bother you to sleep
around without being in love?

884
01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:09,602
Don't you want respect?

885
01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:12,147
I don't screw to get respect.

886
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:14,649
That's the difference
between you and me.

887
01:09:14,733 --> 01:09:16,276
It's not the only difference
I hope.

888
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:17,777
Face it, you're a tease.

889
01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:18,945
I'm not a tease.

890
01:09:19,029 --> 01:09:21,197
Sure you are.
Sex is your weapon.

891
01:09:21,282 --> 01:09:24,409
You said it yourself.
You use it to get respect.

892
01:09:25,244 --> 01:09:28,163
No, I never said that.
She twisted my words around.

893
01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:29,497
What do you use it for, then?

894
01:09:29,582 --> 01:09:31,583
I don't use it, period!

895
01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:34,794
Are you medically frigid
or is it psychological?

896
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:37,922
I didn't mean it that way. You guys are
putting words into my mouth.

897
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:39,716
Well, if you'd just
answer the question.

898
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,092
Why don't you just
answer the question?

899
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:43,011
Be honest. No big deal.
Yeah, answer it.

900
01:09:43,095 --> 01:09:45,263
- Just answer the question, Claire.
- Talk to us.

901
01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:47,432
- Answer the question!
- Answer the question!

902
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,718
- Don't be a jerk!
- It's easy. It's only one question.

903
01:09:49,768 --> 01:09:52,562
No, I never did it!

904
01:09:57,151 --> 01:09:59,110
I never did it, either.

905
01:10:01,447 --> 01:10:05,450
I'm not a nymphomaniac.
I'm a compulsive liar.

906
01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:09,662
You are such a bitch!

907
01:10:09,747 --> 01:10:12,415
You did that on purpose
just to fuck me over!

908
01:10:12,499 --> 01:10:16,294
I would do it, though. If you love someone,
it's okay.

909
01:10:17,254 --> 01:10:19,130
I can't believe you.
You're so weird.

910
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:22,508
You don't say anything all day,
and then when you open your mouth

911
01:10:22,593 --> 01:10:24,928
you unload all these
tremendous lies all over me.

912
01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,652
You're just pissed off
because she got you

913
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:29,015
to admit something you
didn't want to admit to.

914
01:10:29,099 --> 01:10:31,351
Okay, fine. But that doesn't make it
any less bizarre.

915
01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:35,313
What's bizarre? I mean,
we're all pretty bizarre.

916
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:38,942
Some of us are just better
at hiding it, that's all.

917
01:10:39,026 --> 01:10:40,902
How are you bizarre?

918
01:10:42,988 --> 01:10:45,156
He can't think for himself.

919
01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:47,825
She's right.

920
01:10:48,994 --> 01:10:52,455
Do you guys know
what I did to get in here?

921
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:57,085
I taped Larry Lester's
buns together.

922
01:10:58,045 --> 01:10:59,629
That was you?

923
01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:01,673
Yeah. You know him?

924
01:11:01,757 --> 01:11:03,174
Yeah, I know him.

925
01:11:04,176 --> 01:11:06,594
Then you know
how hairy he is, right?

926
01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:13,351
When they pulled the tape off, most of
his hair came off and some skin, too.

927
01:11:13,894 --> 01:11:15,603
Oh, my God.

928
01:11:15,688 --> 01:11:20,525
The bizarre thing is, is that
I did it for my old man.

929
01:11:23,195 --> 01:11:25,655
I tortured this poor kid

930
01:11:25,739 --> 01:11:28,783
because I wanted him to think
that I was cool.

931
01:11:30,953 --> 01:11:34,872
He's always going off about, you
know, when he was in school.

932
01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:38,126
All the wild things
he used to do.

933
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:42,255
And I got the feeling
that he was disappointed

934
01:11:42,339 --> 01:11:45,091
that I never cut loose
on anyone, right.

935
01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:53,349
So, I'm sitting in the locker
room and I'm taping up my knee.

936
01:11:55,769 --> 01:12:00,064
And Larry's undressing
a couple lockers down from me.

937
01:12:04,069 --> 01:12:08,114
And he's kind of... He's kind of skinny.
He's weak.

938
01:12:10,075 --> 01:12:16,664
And I started thinking about my father
and his attitude about weakness.

939
01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,668
And the next thing I knew

940
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:26,174
I jumped on top of him
and started wailing on him.

941
01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:31,888
And my friends, they just
laughed and cheered me on.

942
01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,559
And afterwards,

943
01:12:38,812 --> 01:12:41,898
when I was sitting
in Vernon's office,

944
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:46,277
all I could think about

945
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:49,322
was Larry's father

946
01:12:51,158 --> 01:12:53,659
and Larry having to go home

947
01:12:55,329 --> 01:12:58,748
and explain what
happened to him.

948
01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,421
And the humiliation.

949
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:10,468
Fucking humiliation
he must have felt.

950
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,932
It must have been unreal.

951
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:22,355
I mean, how do you apologize
for something like that?

952
01:13:26,276 --> 01:13:27,860
There's no way.

953
01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:35,201
It's all because of me
and my old man.

954
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,416
God, I fucking hate him.

955
01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:45,253
He's like this...

956
01:13:45,337 --> 01:13:49,549
He's like this mindless machine that
I can't even relate to anymore.

957
01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:54,345
"Andrew! You've
got to be number one!"

958
01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:58,349
"I won't tolerate any losers
in this family."

959
01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:03,438
"Your intensity is for shit!
Win! Win! Win!"

960
01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:06,774
You son of a bitch.

961
01:14:10,028 --> 01:14:13,531
You know, sometimes
I wish my knee would give,

962
01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:17,160
then I wouldn't be able
to wrestle anymore.

963
01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:20,872
Then he could
forget all about me.

964
01:14:22,040 --> 01:14:26,419
I think your old man and my old man
should get together and go bowling.

965
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:34,427
It's like me, you know,
with my grades.

966
01:14:34,511 --> 01:14:37,346
Like when I...
When I step outside myself

967
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:40,725
and like when I look in
at myself, you know.

968
01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:46,105
And I... And I see me.

969
01:14:49,526 --> 01:14:51,527
I don't like what I see.

970
01:14:52,946 --> 01:14:54,530
I really don't.

971
01:14:55,073 --> 01:14:58,826
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you like yourself?

972
01:14:59,953 --> 01:15:02,038
Sounds stupid, but,

973
01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:08,294
because I'm failing shop.

974
01:15:09,379 --> 01:15:14,050
We had this assignment, you know, to
make this, like, ceramic elephant

975
01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:16,802
and we had eight weeks to do it.

976
01:15:16,887 --> 01:15:20,389
And then, you know, we're supposed to...
it was, like, a lamp.

977
01:15:20,474 --> 01:15:25,436
And when, you know, when you pull it, the
trunk, the light was supposed to go on.

978
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:28,773
But my light didn't go on.

979
01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:31,901
I got an F on it.

980
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,613
I've never got an F in my life.

981
01:15:36,281 --> 01:15:39,450
When I signed up, you know,
for the course, I mean,

982
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,244
I thought I was playing it
real smart, you know,

983
01:15:41,328 --> 01:15:43,037
'cause I thought,
you know, I'll take shop.

984
01:15:43,121 --> 01:15:45,957
It'll be such an easy way to
maintain my grade point average.

985
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,292
Why'd you think it'd be easy?

986
01:15:50,420 --> 01:15:52,129
Have you seen some
of the dopes that take shop?

987
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:56,551
I take shop.
You must be a fucking idiot.

988
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,219
I'm a fucking idiot
because I can't make a lamp?

989
01:15:58,303 --> 01:16:01,514
No, you're a genius
because you can't make a lamp.

990
01:16:02,391 --> 01:16:03,599
What do you know
about trigonometry?

991
01:16:03,684 --> 01:16:05,893
I could care less
about trigonometry.

992
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,396
Bender, did you know without
trigonometry, there'd be no engineering?

993
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:10,273
Without lamps,
there'd be no light.

994
01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:14,110
Okay, so neither one of you is
any better than the other one.

995
01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:16,362
I can write with my toes.

996
01:16:17,197 --> 01:16:19,907
I can also eat, brush my teeth.

997
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:21,325
With your feet?

998
01:16:22,786 --> 01:16:24,287
Play Heart And Soul
on the piano.

999
01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:26,372
I can make spaghetti.

1000
01:16:27,207 --> 01:16:28,958
What can you do?

1001
01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:32,962
I can tape
all of your buns together.

1002
01:16:33,046 --> 01:16:35,381
I wanna see what Claire can do.

1003
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:36,841
I can't do anything.

1004
01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:38,968
Everybody can do something.

1005
01:16:40,387 --> 01:16:42,513
There's one thing I can do.

1006
01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:44,948
No, forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.

1007
01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:46,559
You ever seen Wild Kingdom?

1008
01:16:46,643 --> 01:16:49,604
That guy's been doing
that show for 30 years.

1009
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:51,689
Okay.

1010
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:54,358
But you have to swear to God
you won't laugh.

1011
01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,363
Okay.

1012
01:17:01,533 --> 01:17:04,535
I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.

1013
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:23,888
All right. That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?

1014
01:17:24,389 --> 01:17:26,432
Camp. Seventh grade.

1015
01:17:31,730 --> 01:17:33,689
That was great, Claire.

1016
01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:37,652
My image of you
is totally blown.

1017
01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:41,530
You're a shit. Don't do that to her.
You swore to God you wouldn't laugh.

1018
01:17:41,615 --> 01:17:43,032
Am I laughing?

1019
01:17:43,116 --> 01:17:44,950
You fucking prick!

1020
01:17:47,412 --> 01:17:50,081
What do you care
what I think anyway?

1021
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,459
I don't even count, right?

1022
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:57,963
I could disappear forever and it
wouldn't make any difference.

1023
01:17:59,549 --> 01:18:03,886
I may as well not even exist
at this school, remember?

1024
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:11,102
And you don't like me anyway.

1025
01:18:11,186 --> 01:18:13,479
You know, I have just
as many feelings as you do

1026
01:18:13,563 --> 01:18:15,923
and it hurts just as much when
somebody steps all over them.

1027
01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,150
God, you're so pathetic.

1028
01:18:18,235 --> 01:18:22,446
Don't you ever, ever compare
yourself to me, okay?

1029
01:18:23,198 --> 01:18:26,158
You got everything,
and I got shit.

1030
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:28,244
Fucking Rapunzel, right?

1031
01:18:28,328 --> 01:18:31,872
School would probably shut
down if you didn't show up.

1032
01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:34,208
Queenie isn't here.

1033
01:18:34,292 --> 01:18:36,377
I like those earrings, Claire.

1034
01:18:36,461 --> 01:18:37,795
Shut up.

1035
01:18:37,879 --> 01:18:39,296
Are those real diamonds, Claire?

1036
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:40,506
Shut up!

1037
01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:44,552
I bet they are.
Did you work for the money...

1038
01:18:44,636 --> 01:18:47,096
- Shut your mouth!
- ...for those earrings?

1039
01:18:47,222 --> 01:18:49,890
- Or did your daddy buy those for you?
- Shut up!

1040
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:52,226
I bet he bought those for you.

1041
01:18:52,310 --> 01:18:56,063
I bet those were
a Christmas gift, right?

1042
01:18:56,481 --> 01:18:58,201
You know what I got
for Christmas this year?

1043
01:18:58,275 --> 01:19:01,152
It was a banner fucking year
at the old Bender family.

1044
01:19:01,236 --> 01:19:03,112
I got a carton of cigarettes.

1045
01:19:03,196 --> 01:19:06,824
The old man grabbed me and
said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny."

1046
01:19:06,908 --> 01:19:10,745
Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy.
Don't cry here, okay?

1047
01:19:23,049 --> 01:19:25,760
My God, are we gonna be
like our parents?

1048
01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:27,678
Not me.

1049
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,183
Ever.

1050
01:19:34,561 --> 01:19:36,312
It's unavoidable.

1051
01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,106
It just happens.

1052
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:42,067
What happens?

1053
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:48,115
When you grow up,
your heart dies.

1054
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:49,867
Who cares?

1055
01:19:50,577 --> 01:19:52,745
I care.

1056
01:19:54,664 --> 01:19:56,832
I was just thinking, I mean,

1057
01:19:57,876 --> 01:20:01,629
I know it's kind of a weird
time, but I was just wondering,

1058
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:09,261
what is going to happen to us on
Monday, when we're all together again?

1059
01:20:10,388 --> 01:20:13,140
I mean, I consider
you guys my friends.

1060
01:20:14,392 --> 01:20:16,519
I'm not wrong, am I?

1061
01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:19,063
No.

1062
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:22,149
So... So on Monday,
what happens?

1063
01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:24,568
Are we still friends, you mean?

1064
01:20:25,237 --> 01:20:26,570
If we're friends now, that is.

1065
01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:27,905
Yeah.

1066
01:20:29,199 --> 01:20:30,950
Do you want the truth?

1067
01:20:31,034 --> 01:20:32,576
Yeah, I want the truth.

1068
01:20:34,204 --> 01:20:35,871
I don't think so.

1069
01:20:37,290 --> 01:20:39,959
With all of us or just John?

1070
01:20:40,710 --> 01:20:42,336
With all of you.

1071
01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:44,171
That's a real
nice attitude, Claire.

1072
01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:46,006
Oh, be honest, Andy.

1073
01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:50,553
If Brian came walking up to you in the
hall on Monday, what would you do?

1074
01:20:50,762 --> 01:20:53,889
I mean, picture this. You're there
with all the sports.

1075
01:20:53,974 --> 01:20:57,142
I know exactly what you'd do.
You'd say hi to him, and when he left

1076
01:20:57,227 --> 01:21:00,980
you'd cut him all up so your friends
wouldn't think you really liked him.

1077
01:21:01,064 --> 01:21:02,773
No way.

1078
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,233
Okay.

1079
01:21:04,317 --> 01:21:05,985
What if I came up to you?

1080
01:21:06,069 --> 01:21:07,945
Same exact thing.

1081
01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:10,698
You are a bitch!

1082
01:21:10,782 --> 01:21:13,325
Why, 'cause I'm telling the truth?
That makes me a bitch?

1083
01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:16,245
No, 'cause you know how shitty
that is to do to someone.

1084
01:21:16,329 --> 01:21:18,539
And you don't got the balls
to stand up to your friends

1085
01:21:18,623 --> 01:21:20,623
and tell them you're gonna
like who you wanna like.

1086
01:21:20,625 --> 01:21:22,960
Okay, what about you,
you hypocrite?

1087
01:21:23,044 --> 01:21:26,422
Why don't you take Allison to one
of your heavy metal vomit parties?

1088
01:21:26,506 --> 01:21:28,924
Or take Brian out to the parking
lot at lunch to get high?

1089
01:21:29,009 --> 01:21:31,385
Or what about Andy, for that matter?
What about me?

1090
01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:34,638
What would your friends say if we
were walking down the hall together?

1091
01:21:34,723 --> 01:21:36,015
They'd laugh their asses off,

1092
01:21:36,099 --> 01:21:37,892
and you'd probably tell them
you were doing it with me

1093
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:39,351
so they'd forgive you
for being seen with me.

1094
01:21:39,436 --> 01:21:41,437
Don't you ever talk
about my friends!

1095
01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:44,440
You don't know any of my friends, you
don't look at any of my friends,

1096
01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:47,735
and you certainly wouldn't condescend
to speak to any of my friends!

1097
01:21:47,819 --> 01:21:49,419
So you just stick
to the things you know,

1098
01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:53,324
shopping, nail polish, your
father's BMW, and your poor, rich,

1099
01:21:53,408 --> 01:21:55,409
- drunk mother in the Caribbean.
- Shut up!

1100
01:21:55,493 --> 01:21:57,202
As far as being concerned
about what's gonna happen

1101
01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:58,913
when you and I walk down
the hallways of school,

1102
01:21:58,997 --> 01:22:01,415
you can forget it, 'cause
it's never gonna happen.

1103
01:22:01,499 --> 01:22:05,085
Just bury your head in the sand
and wait for your fucking prom!

1104
01:22:05,170 --> 01:22:06,378
I hate you!

1105
01:22:06,463 --> 01:22:08,255
Yeah? Good!

1106
01:22:14,012 --> 01:22:18,390
Okay, then I assume Allison and I are
better people than you guys, huh?

1107
01:22:18,683 --> 01:22:20,476
Us weirdoes.

1108
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:25,481
Would you... Would you
do that to me?

1109
01:22:25,565 --> 01:22:27,441
I don't have any friends.

1110
01:22:29,861 --> 01:22:31,362
Well, if you did.

1111
01:22:31,446 --> 01:22:32,905
No.

1112
01:22:35,408 --> 01:22:38,452
I don't think the kind of
friends I'd have would mind.

1113
01:22:38,870 --> 01:22:43,707
Well, I just wanna tell each of
you that I wouldn't do that.

1114
01:22:44,709 --> 01:22:47,586
I wouldn't and I will not.

1115
01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:52,091
'Cause I think
that's real shitty.

1116
01:22:54,344 --> 01:22:57,805
Your friends wouldn't mind
because they look up to us.

1117
01:23:00,392 --> 01:23:02,685
You're so conceited, Claire.

1118
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,312
You're so conceited.

1119
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:08,315
You're so, like, full of yourself.
Why are you like that?

1120
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:11,026
I'm not saying that
to be conceited.

1121
01:23:11,736 --> 01:23:15,739
I hate it. I hate having to go along
with everything my friends say.

1122
01:23:15,824 --> 01:23:18,117
Well, then why do you do it?

1123
01:23:18,868 --> 01:23:20,869
I don't know. I don't...

1124
01:23:21,913 --> 01:23:24,415
You don't understand.
You don't...

1125
01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:29,086
You're not friends with the same kind of
people that Andy and I are friends with.

1126
01:23:29,170 --> 01:23:33,757
You know, you just don't understand the
pressure that they can put on you.

1127
01:23:33,925 --> 01:23:35,926
I don't understand what?

1128
01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:39,096
You think I don't
understand pressure, Claire?

1129
01:23:39,514 --> 01:23:42,516
Well, fuck you! Fuck you!

1130
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,568
You know why I'm here today?

1131
01:23:54,779 --> 01:23:56,613
Do you?

1132
01:23:59,617 --> 01:24:01,952
I'm here

1133
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:06,874
because Mr. Ryan
found a gun in my locker.

1134
01:24:10,128 --> 01:24:12,629
Why'd you have
a gun in your locker?

1135
01:24:13,089 --> 01:24:14,882
I tried.

1136
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:22,139
When you pull the fucking trunk on
it, the light's supposed to go on.

1137
01:24:23,266 --> 01:24:25,017
It didn't go on.

1138
01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:29,396
What's the gun for, Brian?

1139
01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:30,564
Just forget it.

1140
01:24:30,648 --> 01:24:32,608
You brought it up, man.

1141
01:24:34,861 --> 01:24:36,570
I can't have an F.

1142
01:24:40,366 --> 01:24:45,287
I can't have it, and I know
my parents can't have it.

1143
01:24:48,333 --> 01:24:52,628
Even if I ace the rest of the
semester, I'm still only a B.

1144
01:24:52,712 --> 01:24:54,880
Everything's ruined for me.

1145
01:24:55,215 --> 01:24:56,715
Brian.

1146
01:24:57,175 --> 01:24:58,634
What?

1147
01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,891
Considering my options,
you know.

1148
01:25:06,017 --> 01:25:08,018
No, killing yourself
is not an option.

1149
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:11,355
Well, I didn't do it, did I?
No, I don't think so.

1150
01:25:12,190 --> 01:25:14,233
It was a handgun?

1151
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:18,946
No, it was a flare gun.
It went off in my locker.

1152
01:25:19,030 --> 01:25:20,697
Really?

1153
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,618
It's not funny.

1154
01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:40,884
Yes, it is.

1155
01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:46,223
Fucking elephant was destroyed.

1156
01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:50,144
You wanna know
what I did to get in here?

1157
01:25:53,064 --> 01:25:55,065
Nothing.

1158
01:25:55,775 --> 01:25:58,402
I didn't have
anything better to do.

1159
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:06,160
You're laughing at me.

1160
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:08,495
- No!
- Yeah, you are.

1161
01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:56,061
Brian?

1162
01:27:56,312 --> 01:27:57,312
Mmm?

1163
01:27:57,855 --> 01:27:59,856
Are you gonna write your paper?

1164
01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:01,608
Yeah. Why?

1165
01:28:03,444 --> 01:28:07,447
Well, it's kind of a waste for all of us
to write our paper, don't you think?

1166
01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:09,616
Well, that's what
Vernon wants us to do.

1167
01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:13,996
True. But I think we'd all
kind of say the same thing.

1168
01:28:15,081 --> 01:28:18,292
You just don't wanna
write your paper, right?

1169
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:22,379
True, but you're
the smartest, right?

1170
01:28:22,839 --> 01:28:24,339
Well...

1171
01:28:24,716 --> 01:28:26,341
We trust you.

1172
01:28:29,721 --> 01:28:31,263
Yeah.

1173
01:28:33,516 --> 01:28:37,185
All right. I'll do it.

1174
01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:39,938
Great.

1175
01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:54,411
Come on.

1176
01:28:54,912 --> 01:28:56,288
Where we going?

1177
01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:58,248
Come on.

1178
01:28:59,834 --> 01:29:01,543
Don't be afraid.

1179
01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:06,006
Don't stick that in my eye.
I'm not sticking...

1180
01:29:06,090 --> 01:29:09,760
Just close it. No, wait, wait.
Just go like... Go like that.

1181
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:11,720
Good.

1182
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:18,518
You know, you really do look better
without all that black shit on your eyes.

1183
01:29:18,603 --> 01:29:21,855
Hey, I like that black shit.

1184
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:24,608
This looks a lot better.

1185
01:29:24,901 --> 01:29:26,193
Look up.

1186
01:29:35,119 --> 01:29:38,538
Please. Why are you
being so nice to me?

1187
01:29:40,124 --> 01:29:42,167
'Cause you're letting me.

1188
01:29:58,851 --> 01:30:00,352
You lost?

1189
01:30:52,363 --> 01:30:54,197
Thank you.

1190
01:31:02,206 --> 01:31:03,874
Why'd you do that?

1191
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:06,209
'Cause I knew you wouldn't.

1192
01:31:07,920 --> 01:31:11,923
You know how you said before how your
parents use you to get back at each other?

1193
01:31:12,008 --> 01:31:14,926
Wouldn't I be outstanding
in that capacity?

1194
01:31:17,763 --> 01:31:21,224
Were you really disgusted about
what I did with my lipstick?

1195
01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:22,851
Truth?

1196
01:31:23,269 --> 01:31:24,895
Truth.

1197
01:31:25,521 --> 01:31:26,646
No.

1198
01:31:37,033 --> 01:31:39,326
What happened to you?

1199
01:31:39,994 --> 01:31:42,204
Why? Claire did it.

1200
01:31:47,335 --> 01:31:48,710
What's wrong?

1201
01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:50,170
Nothing's wrong.

1202
01:31:50,254 --> 01:31:54,591
It's just... You're just
so different, you know.

1203
01:31:56,427 --> 01:31:58,053
I can see your face.

1204
01:31:59,096 --> 01:32:00,805
Is that good or bad?

1205
01:32:02,058 --> 01:32:04,643
That's good.

1206
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:21,409
- See you, Brian.
- Hey, Carl.

1207
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:23,870
See you next Saturday.

1208
01:32:23,955 --> 01:32:25,413
You bet.

1209
01:34:10,686 --> 01:34:12,145
<i>Dear Mr. Vernon.</i>

1210
01:34:13,731 --> 01:34:16,691
<i>We accept the fact that we had to
sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention</i>

1211
01:34:16,776 --> 01:34:18,985
<i>for whatever it was we did wrong</i>

1212
01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:21,070
<i>but we think you're crazy
to make us write an essay</i>

1213
01:34:21,072 --> 01:34:23,073
<i>telling you who we think we are.</i>

1214
01:34:23,157 --> 01:34:25,450
<i>You see us
as you want to see us,</i>

1215
01:34:25,534 --> 01:34:29,454
<i>in the simplest terms, with the
most convenient definitions.</i>

1216
01:34:29,538 --> 01:34:33,833
<i>But what we found out is that
each one of us is a brain.</i>

1217
01:34:33,918 --> 01:34:35,502
<i>And an athlete.</i>

1218
01:34:35,586 --> 01:34:37,671
<i>And a basket case.</i>

1219
01:34:37,755 --> 01:34:38,963
<i>A princess.</i>

1220
01:34:39,048 --> 01:34:40,799
<i>And a criminal.</i>

1221
01:34:40,883 --> 01:34:43,843
<i>Does that answer your question?</i>

1222
01:34:43,928 --> 01:34:47,263
<i>Sincerely yours,
The Breakfast Club.</i>

1223
01:34:48,891 --> 01:34:51,518
<i>Don't, don't, don't, don't</i>