1 00:00:16,820 --> 00:00:17,940 (LAUGHS) 2 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:18,140 So a good night was had by all? (LAUGHS) 3 00:00:18,140 --> 00:00:20,380 So a good night was had by all? 4 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,940 (SIGHS) Yeah. Sorry, Mum. 5 00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:25,900 I was gonna call you and let you know I wasn't coming home, but it got... 6 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,660 ..late. 7 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:27,860 What's the lucky lady's name, then? ..late. 8 00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,100 What's the lucky lady's name, then? 9 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:33,540 I wouldn't say she was lucky. (SHAKES CAN) 10 00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:33,780 I wouldn't say she was lucky. (SHAKES CAN) (SPRAYS) 11 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:36,580 (SPRAYS) 12 00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:44,700 Don't go in there. 13 00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:48,700 Coffee? 14 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,420 ARTHUR: Mum! 15 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,940 A dead naked man. 16 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,260 Yes, in Mum's bed! 17 00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:07,820 Why would I joke about that, Robbie? 18 00:01:07,820 --> 00:01:09,020 MAGGIE: I'm innocent, Robbie! 19 00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:09,260 The only thing I'm guilty of MAGGIE: I'm innocent, Robbie! 20 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:13,100 The only thing I'm guilty of is being too hot to handle. 21 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:16,500 No, I don't know his name. I'm looking now. 22 00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:16,740 (SIGHS) No, I don't know his name. I'm looking now. 23 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:18,140 (SIGHS) 24 00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:20,340 Yes, he's definitely dead. 25 00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:20,580 (FLATULENCE) Oh! Yes, he's definitely dead. 26 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,860 (FLATULENCE) Oh! 27 00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:25,300 Oh! Oh, thank God. 28 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:25,500 Oh! Oh, thank God. He's alive. He just farted. 29 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,340 He's alive. He just farted. 30 00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:31,500 What?! Even when you're dead? 31 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:34,220 Oh, that's gross. 32 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,620 Alright. (SIGHS) 33 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:38,500 His name is Lawrence Porter, 34 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:38,740 and he's the president of the Cactus His name is Lawrence Porter, 35 00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:44,020 and he's the president of the Cactus and Succulent Appreciation Society. 36 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,380 He was not delivering our mother a succulent. 37 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:50,660 Well, I didn't see him come in 'cause I wasn't here last night. 38 00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:51,780 I was with a... 39 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:53,060 ..girl. 40 00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:58,580 No! Not good for me, Robbie, bad for me. Very bad for me, OK? 41 00:01:58,580 --> 00:01:58,820 No! Not good for me, Robbie, I... 42 00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:00,220 I... 43 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,940 ..I didn't bring my A-game at all. 44 00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:07,980 Yeah, fine. I'll make all the necessary calls. 45 00:02:07,980 --> 00:02:09,660 Leave it to me, as always. 46 00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:10,820 Bye. 47 00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:12,900 (CALL DISCONNECTS) (SIGHS) 48 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,180 (FLATULENCE) 49 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:23,100 Oh, I need you to turn the gas on for me, Arthur. 50 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,780 Oh! Don't bother, Mum. 51 00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,420 I've listened to enough crime podcasts to know 52 00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,860 that blaming this on a house fire is not gonna work. 53 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:31,100 I need to make myself a final meal 54 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:35,620 before they send me to prison charged with sex crimes. 55 00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,900 Mum, he was a 70-year-old man 56 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:37,140 with a bad heart Mum, he was a 70-year-old man 57 00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,620 with a bad heart and high blood pressure, OK? 58 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:38,860 with a bad heart This is not your fault. 59 00:02:38,860 --> 00:02:40,020 This is not your fault. 60 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:44,140 I should never have fed him that blanched okra with lemon juice. 61 00:02:44,140 --> 00:02:45,860 It's very potent. 62 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:48,260 It sent him wild. 63 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:49,860 Oh! OK. 64 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:50,100 We are currently operating Oh! OK. 65 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,500 We are currently operating on a need-to-know basis, 66 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:57,580 and all I NEED to know is which of his family members to contact. 67 00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,500 Well, he's a widower with no children. 68 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,660 Was. 69 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,860 Hm. (TUTS) 70 00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,460 All alone in the world. 71 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:05,700 (SIGHS) All alone in the world. 72 00:03:05,700 --> 00:03:08,300 (SIGHS) MAGGIE: Just like me. 73 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:11,220 At least he went out with a bang. (GAS HISSES) 74 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:11,460 At least he went out with a bang. I mean... (SIGHS) 75 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,940 I mean... (SIGHS) 76 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:19,700 ..I wish you'd told me that you were getting back into the dating scene. 77 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:19,940 ..I wish you'd told me that you were What? 78 00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:21,100 What? 79 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:21,340 You think I don't need to feel What? 80 00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:25,900 You think I don't need to feel the warmth of another human, Arthur? 81 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,100 I mean, you spent YOUR night with a lover. 82 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:29,340 I mean, What's the difference? 83 00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:30,940 What's the difference? 84 00:03:30,940 --> 00:03:32,780 Difference is 85 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:37,660 you having wild, heart-stopping sex, and I'm... 86 00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:37,900 you having ..putting people to sleep. 87 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,140 ..putting people to sleep. 88 00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:48,060 ROBBIE: And I thought I was having a bad day. 89 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,740 Are you sure he doesn't have SOME family? 90 00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:50,900 ARTHUR: Apparently not. 91 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,380 I called the Succulent Society and left a message on the machine 92 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:55,220 with my condolences, just in case. 93 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:55,460 And it ISN'T being treated with my condolences, just in case. 94 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,140 And it ISN'T being treated as suspicious? 95 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:57,380 And it ISN'T being treated Oh! Arthur's a stool pigeon. 96 00:03:57,380 --> 00:03:59,620 Oh! Arthur's a stool pigeon. 97 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,700 He called the police on me. 98 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,300 ARTHUR: I called the ambulance. 99 00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,460 The ambulance called the police. The police called the coroner. 100 00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:09,140 And the coroner called a bird, and the bird called a spider, 101 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,180 and the spider called a fly. 102 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,220 It's like that nursery rhyme - 103 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,020 "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly. 104 00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:15,260 "There was an old woman "Perhaps she'll die." 105 00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,180 "Perhaps she'll die." 106 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:21,300 That must have been shocking for you, Mum. 107 00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:21,540 That must have been (SIGHS) 108 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,300 (SIGHS) 109 00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,980 I'll never forget his last words. 110 00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,580 Well? 111 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,020 Well what? 112 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,300 What were his last words? 113 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,260 I can't remember! 114 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:43,500 ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest I can't remember! 115 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,900 ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest and put your feet up. 116 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:46,140 ROBBIE: Mum, you go rest You've had a shocker. 117 00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:47,460 You've had a shocker. 118 00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,060 I'll do the dishes. 119 00:04:49,060 --> 00:04:50,980 No, no, no. You're a busy doctor. 120 00:04:50,980 --> 00:04:52,740 You should not be doing drudge work. 121 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:54,220 You're right. 122 00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:55,460 Arthur will do it. 123 00:04:55,460 --> 00:04:56,660 What? What? 124 00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:58,020 Just... 125 00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:58,260 ..take a rest Just... 126 00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:00,300 ..take a rest and go watch the telly. 127 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:00,540 ..take a rest Take your mind off of it all. 128 00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,460 Take your mind off of it all. 129 00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,940 Off you pop. MAGGIE: Thank you, Robbie. 130 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,180 We need to protect her AND ourselves. 131 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:13,740 She needs to sign this. 132 00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:16,340 Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a printer in there? 133 00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:19,420 They're power-of-attorney papers from my lawyer's office. 134 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,900 Oh, OK, cool - so while I was dealing with dead bodies, 135 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,260 you were just getting these drafted up. 136 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:22,500 you were just getting these No, when you called this morning, 137 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:23,380 No, when you called this morning, 138 00:05:23,380 --> 00:05:23,620 I just happened to be seeking No, when you called this morning, 139 00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,980 I just happened to be seeking some legal advice. 140 00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:26,220 I just happened to be seeking Killed two birds with one stone. 141 00:05:26,220 --> 00:05:27,980 Killed two birds with one stone. 142 00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:29,860 Really? Mmm. 143 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,340 What was the other bird? 144 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,100 Oh, just some little problem I'm ironing out 145 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:33,340 Oh, just some little problem with a penoplasty that went wrong. 146 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:35,540 with a penoplasty that went wrong. 147 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:37,740 Mmm. The old shaft graft. 148 00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:41,540 I mean, the length was fine, but the girth, it didn't quite work out. 149 00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:41,780 I mean, the length was fine, but Eugh. Poor guy. 150 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:43,180 Eugh. Poor guy. 151 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:45,020 Poor guy?! 152 00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,860 If I get sued, I'm gonna be the successful lesbian surgeon 153 00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:48,100 If I get sued, I'm gonna be who got undone by a penis. 154 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,340 who got undone by a penis. 155 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:51,860 (LAUGHS) 156 00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:53,460 Speaking of undone, 157 00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:55,860 what happened with last night? 158 00:05:55,860 --> 00:05:58,260 I haven't been with anyone since Dee. 159 00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,980 I'm not match-fit. 160 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:03,540 Honestly, it was such a bad performance. 161 00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:07,060 I was like a newborn horse learning how to walk. 162 00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:07,300 I was like a newborn horse (SIGHS) 163 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,220 (SIGHS) 164 00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:10,260 I even pulled out the special moves. 165 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,060 No straight man has special moves. 166 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:13,020 I got special moves. 167 00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:15,300 I got the most special moves. 168 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,620 Just when I thought I was... 169 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,500 ..making way... 170 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,340 ..she fell asleep. 171 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:20,580 Just like the president ..she fell asleep. 172 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:23,660 Just like the president of the Succulent Society. 173 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,660 (LAUGHS) 174 00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:30,820 (DOORBELL RINGS) 175 00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:34,420 (DOOR OPENS) 176 00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:36,740 (DOOR CLOSES) 177 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,980 The Cactus and Succulent Appreciation Society 178 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:42,220 The Cactus and Succulent must have got your message. 179 00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:43,940 must have got your message. 180 00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:45,780 Look at what they sent me. 181 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,180 (TUTS) Oh! 182 00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:52,020 Such a beautiful reminder of Lawrence. 183 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,860 (SIGHS) 184 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:01,460 You just want to get your hands on the house. 185 00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,300 Power of attorney wasn't MY idea, Mum. 186 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:06,620 Oh, you expect me to believe it was your sister's idea? 187 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,900 (SIGHS) Honestly, she's got a family. 188 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,820 She's got a job. 189 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,580 She's got prospects, Arthur. 190 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:13,380 Where are YOUR prospects? 191 00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:15,700 Excuse me! I have prospects. 192 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,540 Well, from what I overheard the other morning, 193 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:17,780 Well, from what I overheard it doesn't seem like your prospects 194 00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,500 it doesn't seem like your prospects 195 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,540 are very prospective. 196 00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,780 Who were you canoodling? 197 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:27,100 I hope it was that Maya, from dancing. 198 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,500 Tony the grocer's daughter. 199 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:30,980 Oh, tell me it was Tony the grocer's daughter! 200 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,300 It wasn't Maya, OK? 201 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:33,540 Her name was Blodwyn, It wasn't Maya, OK? 202 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,020 Her name was Blodwyn, if you must know. 203 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:36,260 Her name was Blodwyn, Blodwyn? 204 00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:37,300 Blodwyn? 205 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,260 Sounds like a medical condition. 206 00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,260 Mum! 207 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:41,460 She's Welsh. 208 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:41,700 And FYI, I'm not interested in She's Welsh. 209 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,980 And FYI, I'm not interested in brief interactions like that anymore. 210 00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:45,220 And FYI, I'm not interested in In fact, I'm gonna delete my apps. 211 00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:46,620 In fact, I'm gonna delete my apps. 212 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,460 Ugh... (GASPS) Arthur! 213 00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:51,380 Look! Our restaurant's open. 214 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,020 Delete... 215 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:55,100 ..delete... 216 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,220 ..delete. 217 00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,620 Oh! Definitely deleting that one. 218 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,620 What was that... 219 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:03,260 Mum? 220 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:07,940 Mum! 221 00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:09,380 (HORNS HONK) Whoa! Whoa! 222 00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:09,620 (HORNS HONK) (EXCLAIMS) 223 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:10,980 (EXCLAIMS) 224 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:22,060 Leo? 225 00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:25,340 Oh, hi, Maggie. 226 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:27,140 Did you just call me Leo? 227 00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,900 Tony! (LAUGHS) 228 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:29,900 No! No. 229 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,140 I said 'helleo'. 230 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:36,020 As in 'hello' with an extra syllable. 231 00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:36,820 Oh. 232 00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,820 I was expecting someone from the local paper. 233 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:45,020 We have bought a full-page ad to get a full house for our grand opening. 234 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,540 (LAUGHS) 235 00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:51,100 Maybe, uh, warn me next time you want me to play Frogger. (LAUGHS) 236 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:51,340 Maybe, uh, warn me next time Hey, Tony. 237 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:52,820 Hey, Tony. 238 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:53,620 Hi. 239 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,780 I'm so glad that you're both here. 240 00:08:55,780 --> 00:09:00,060 I need to ask the code to the wall safe. 241 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:01,780 Yeah. Yeah, no, I understand. 242 00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,380 Um, you know. 243 00:09:03,380 --> 00:09:06,340 Mum, can you give Tony the wall safe code? 244 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,820 I have no idea. 245 00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:10,060 What are they doing to your father's restaurant? I have no idea. 246 00:09:10,060 --> 00:09:11,740 What are they doing to your father's restaurant? 247 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:12,540 Oh, Mum! 248 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:13,700 Arthur! I was gonna... 249 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:13,940 Arthur! I was gonna... Hey! 250 00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:15,620 Hey! 251 00:09:15,620 --> 00:09:16,580 Hi, Maggie. 252 00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:18,620 Getting a...sneak peek? 253 00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:21,420 Oh, yes. 254 00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:23,980 A sneak peek into hell, 255 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:29,020 starring Judas and Jezebel and the devil himself. 256 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:29,260 starring Judas and Jezebel (ARTHUR SIGHS) 257 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,220 (ARTHUR SIGHS) 258 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:30,460 Mum, just give Tony (ARTHUR SIGHS) 259 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:33,540 Mum, just give Tony the wall safe code. 260 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:33,780 Mum, just give Tony What wall safe? 261 00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:35,260 What wall safe? 262 00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:37,700 My memory is shot. 263 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:39,340 TONY: Come on, Maggie. 264 00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:43,300 You remember every step of the cha-cha last week. 265 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:43,540 You remember every step It was the merengue, Tony. 266 00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,300 It was the merengue, Tony. 267 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:45,540 And it'll be the last merengue It was the merengue, Tony. 268 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:48,860 And it'll be the last merengue you'll be seeing from me! 269 00:09:48,860 --> 00:09:49,100 And it'll be the last merengue Let's go, Arthur. 270 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,980 Let's go, Arthur. 271 00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:54,220 OK, Mum. 272 00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:55,220 Um... 273 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,460 ..Dad used to keep all his codes in a little black book. 274 00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:00,740 I'll...find it for you. 275 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:03,140 (MOUTHS) 276 00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,380 No, Mum, now. Let's go. 277 00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:11,820 I know you remember the code, Mum. 278 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,060 And the reason I know 279 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:13,300 is because you always refuse to admit And the reason I know 280 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:15,660 is because you always refuse to admit when you can't remember something, 281 00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:18,620 so the fact you're saying you can't means you can. 282 00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:18,860 so the fact you're saying you can't Yes, well, you're the one 283 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:19,620 Yes, well, you're the one 284 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:19,860 who's always telling me Yes, well, you're the one 285 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,660 who's always telling me my memory is gone, Arthur. 286 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:25,740 Now you expect me to remember some long-ago code. 287 00:10:25,740 --> 00:10:25,980 Now you expect me to remember Make up your mind. 288 00:10:25,980 --> 00:10:26,780 Make up your mind. 289 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:27,020 You're just annoyed that it's not me Make up your mind. 290 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,260 You're just annoyed that it's not me taking over Dad's restaurant. 291 00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,220 That's all this is about. 292 00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:31,700 No, it's not. 293 00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,060 My brain has gone to mush. 294 00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:35,540 I don't even know if you're my son anymore. 295 00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,460 The son I remember would do anything he could 296 00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,700 to keep the memory of his father alive. 297 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,100 Oh, hold up. 298 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,380 Well, if your brain's turned to mush and you don't know who I am, 299 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:49,420 then you have no reason to refuse signing the power-of-attorney papers. 300 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:49,660 then you have no reason to refuse Ha-ha! Got ya! 301 00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,900 Ha-ha! Got ya! 302 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:54,500 Oh, no! What's she doing here? 303 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:56,180 Um... 304 00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,580 ..you know what, maybe you were right. 305 00:10:57,580 --> 00:10:57,820 ..you know what, Let's not rush into this. 306 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,740 Let's not rush into this. 307 00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:58,980 Uh, maybe you need a bit more time Let's not rush into this. 308 00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,860 Uh, maybe you need a bit more time to think about it. (LAUGHS) 309 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:01,100 Uh, maybe you need a bit more time What's got into you? 310 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,260 What's got into you? 311 00:11:02,260 --> 00:11:03,660 Huh? Nothing! 312 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:04,940 Now, come on. This way. 313 00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:06,780 Hey, we'll come back another day. (GASPS) 314 00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:07,020 Hey, we'll come back another day. Blodwyn! 315 00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:08,420 Blodwyn! 316 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,100 Where have I heard that name before? 317 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,700 You haven't, OK? Now, let's... 318 00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:11,940 Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who You haven't, OK? Now, let's... 319 00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:15,620 Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who fell asleep on you the other night, 320 00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:15,860 Oh, if she's the same Blodwyn who she's got a big wake-up call coming. 321 00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:18,900 she's got a big wake-up call coming. 322 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,380 (BELL RINGS) Oh, no, Mum. Please, don't! 323 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,820 Oh, you must be Mrs Boye. 324 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:26,740 Oh, and you must be very well rested. 325 00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:28,740 (DOOR OPENS) (ARTHUR SIGHS) 326 00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:29,940 Hi. (LAUGHS) 327 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,180 Yeah. (BLODWYN LAUGHS) 328 00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:31,420 Yeah. Arthur. Blodwyn. 329 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,180 Arthur. Blodwyn. 330 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:33,420 Well, I mean, what a coincidence. Arthur. Blodwyn. 331 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,900 Well, I mean, what a coincidence. I didn't know that you worked here. 332 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:36,140 Well, I mean, what a coincidence. Um...yes, you did. 333 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:37,900 Um...yes, you did. 334 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:41,060 I...I...I mentioned it, lots, 335 00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:44,020 the other night. 336 00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:47,740 You asked if you could legally sue your local supermarket 337 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:51,380 for suggesting a barbeque chicken has EIGHT servings. 338 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,060 Oh, yeah. 339 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,100 BLODWYN: Yeah. 340 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:56,820 To be fair, 341 00:11:56,820 --> 00:12:00,060 no-one has ever ordered a one-eighth chicken and chips. 342 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,980 You know? It's always quarters. 343 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,460 I understand you're here to sign some documents. 344 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,220 I certainly am. 345 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:12,740 But more importantly, my boy deserves a second chance. 346 00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:13,900 Oh! 347 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,140 MAGGIE: Oh, you should have seen him 348 00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:18,380 when he first worked the cash register at our restaurant. 349 00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:18,620 when he first worked Oh! 350 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,420 Oh! 351 00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:19,660 Mashing his fingers Oh! 352 00:12:19,660 --> 00:12:22,980 Mashing his fingers across those buttons 353 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:26,100 like a giant playing a miniature keyboard. 354 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:26,340 like a giant We...we might come back another day. 355 00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:27,700 We...we might come back another day. 356 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:27,940 (LAUGHS) We...we might come back another day. 357 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:31,180 (LAUGHS) But eventually, he got better at it. 358 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:34,260 And by the time he was at university, 359 00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:34,500 And by the time he could barely look at the register 360 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,620 he could barely look at the register 361 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,100 and cha-ching! 362 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,340 I think... (LAUGHS) Yes. Yes. 363 00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:43,740 Come on! Mum. Come on. (LAUGHS) 364 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:44,620 I am... (BELL RINGS) 365 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:44,860 I am... ..I'm sorry. 366 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:45,660 ..I'm sorry. 367 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:47,660 She is unwell. 368 00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:48,940 Bye. 369 00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:51,500 (LAUGHS) (DOOR CLOSES) 370 00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:55,220 And now we have to find a new solicitor to witness your signature, 371 00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,460 because I'm never showing my face at that office ever again! 372 00:12:58,460 --> 00:12:58,700 because I'm never showing my face Where is Dad's little black book? 373 00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:01,260 Where is Dad's little black book? 374 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,020 I have no idea. 375 00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,220 (SIGHS) 376 00:13:05,220 --> 00:13:09,740 Oh, I'm sure the code to the wall safe is someone's birthday or... 377 00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:12,140 ..Lotto numbers or something. 378 00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,180 Oh. 379 00:13:13,180 --> 00:13:17,260 That bar, Arthur, the one Tony was manhandling, 380 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:21,260 your father built that with his own hands in this very backyard. 381 00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:21,500 your father built that with What if they just 382 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,780 What if they just 383 00:13:22,780 --> 00:13:24,940 throw it on a skip, 384 00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:26,740 like it's some piece of rubbish? 385 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,660 Oh, not that YOU'D care. 386 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:31,820 You're so hot to trot for that Maya. 387 00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:32,060 Excuse me! I'm not hot to trot You're so hot to trot for that Maya. 388 00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,580 Excuse me! I'm not hot to trot for anyone. I'm not trotting at all. 389 00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:38,900 I'm one bad date away from being sent to the glue factory. 390 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:39,140 I'm one bad date away Now, where is that black book?! 391 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:41,820 Now, where is that black book?! 392 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,940 (SIGHS) 393 00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,340 I'm sorry, Mum. 394 00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:54,220 I should have said something about what was happening at the restaurant. 395 00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:54,460 I should have said something about (SIGHS) 396 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:55,220 (SIGHS) 397 00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:55,460 Is there any way (SIGHS) 398 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,220 Is there any way I can make it up to you? 399 00:13:57,220 --> 00:14:02,060 Well, it's about keeping the spirit of your father in our hearts. 400 00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:02,300 Well, it's about keeping the spirit In our minds. 401 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,060 In our minds. 402 00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,260 In our mouths. 403 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:12,500 Why don't you cook something for me, just like he used to? 404 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,340 (SIGHS WITH RELIEF) 405 00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,860 I am so glad you're referring to his food. 406 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:16,100 I am so glad Um... 407 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,540 Um... 408 00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,340 ..I can do that. 409 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:19,500 That's fine. 410 00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,980 But if I do, you have to promise 411 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:21,220 to let this But if I do, you have to promise 412 00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,060 to let this whole restaurant thing go, yeah? 413 00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:23,300 to let this I've forgotten it already. 414 00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,140 I've forgotten it already. 415 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,740 Mush brain. 416 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,540 (LAUGHS) 417 00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:31,340 Oh. There's not much food in the fridge, though, Arthur. 418 00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:31,580 Oh. There's not much food Oh. 419 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:32,620 Oh. 420 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:32,860 I'll hit the store. Oh. 421 00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:34,260 I'll hit the store. Yeah. 422 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,420 You stay here. Read a book or something. 423 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:36,660 You stay here. Oh, good idea. 424 00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:38,020 Oh, good idea. 425 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,900 I've got just the book in mind. 426 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,940 (BOTH LAUGH) 427 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:43,460 (DOOR OPENS) 428 00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:45,300 (DOOR CLOSES) 429 00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,260 (BEEPING) 430 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:56,900 Hello? 431 00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,300 Is that the advertising department? 432 00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:02,820 It's Maya here from the Soc Beo restaurant. 433 00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:07,900 I'm afraid we're going to have to cancel our ad for opening night. 434 00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,380 Mmm. 435 00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:16,940 Haven't found Dad's codes yet. (BEEPING) 436 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:17,220 But I wrote some numbers on a piece of paper that I think might work. Haven't found Dad's codes yet. (BEEPING) 437 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,460 But I wrote some numbers on a piece of paper that I think might work. 438 00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:20,700 But I wrote some numbers on a piece of paper that I think might work. Oh. Thanks. 439 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,020 Oh. Thanks. 440 00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,820 My birthday's in there. 441 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,060 Oh. Well, I will be sure My birthday's in there. 442 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,220 Oh. Well, I will be sure to remember it. 443 00:15:27,220 --> 00:15:27,460 Oh. Well, I will be sure Oi! You! 444 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,260 Oi! You! 445 00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,220 You can get out of my shop! 446 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,140 Sorry? 447 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:33,780 Someone pretending to be Maya called the newspaper 448 00:15:33,780 --> 00:15:36,780 to cancel our ad for the grand opening. 449 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,020 And they copy the number from the screen, 450 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:39,260 And they copy the number and I check out delivery database. 451 00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:40,740 and I check out delivery database. 452 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,500 It was your mother! What? 453 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,060 Don't know what you're talking about. Nothing for you. 454 00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,820 ARTHUR: What do you mean? Dad, Dad, Dad, calm down. 455 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:47,060 ARTHUR: What do you mean? No okra for your family! 456 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,260 No okra for your family! 457 00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:50,460 Get your vegetables somewhere else! 458 00:15:50,460 --> 00:15:52,860 What? Hey! 459 00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,660 OK. It's all here. 460 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,300 Half a kilo of okra and a bag of lemons. 461 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:02,540 Half a kilo of okra Oh. Hey. Look, I'm so sorry. 462 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:04,780 Oh. Hey. Look, I'm so sorry. 463 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,020 I can't believe Mum did that. I mean, who knows what she's capable of? 464 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,260 Dad's not normally so volatile. 465 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,500 You know, he's really worried about the restaurant, and... 466 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,780 ..it's a huge risk, and so... 467 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,260 ..his blood pressure's up to here. 468 00:16:13,260 --> 00:16:14,860 TONY: Maya! Maya! 469 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:16,060 Damn, that's him! 470 00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:19,860 On, no! Here, quick. Thank you. OK. 471 00:16:19,860 --> 00:16:21,220 Oh, Arthur, wait! 472 00:16:21,220 --> 00:16:22,940 It's, uh, my phone number. 473 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:26,740 In case you find the actual code to the safe. 474 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:29,140 TONY: Maya! 475 00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,340 Save yourself! Yeah! 476 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:37,540 It's a crime, Mum. 477 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:40,460 One minute, we're explaining to the cops about the dead man in your bed 478 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,060 and the next, you're committing fraud. 479 00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,580 Impersonating someone is hardly fraud 480 00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,100 compared to calling yourself a restauranteur 481 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:47,340 compared to when you're really a greengrocer. 482 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,580 when you're really a greengrocer. 483 00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:50,780 Mum! (DOOR CLOSES) 484 00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:57,500 Mum. I gave you my credit card details for emergencies. 485 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,860 Can you explain this? 486 00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:01,580 Can you explain why you were just passing through the suburbs 487 00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:01,820 Can you explain why you were on a weekday? 488 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:02,740 on a weekday? 489 00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:02,980 Let me guess - on a weekday? 490 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,460 Let me guess - you're consulting door to door now 491 00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:04,700 Let me guess - with your top buttons undone. 492 00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:07,540 with your top buttons undone. 493 00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:09,980 Shut up, Arthur. 494 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:10,220 There's an amount of $500 Shut up, Arthur. 495 00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:13,020 There's an amount of $500 on my statement. 496 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:13,260 There's an amount of $500 Yes. It's a holding thingy. 497 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,980 Yes. It's a holding thingy. 498 00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:17,580 You'll get it back later, they said. 499 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:18,380 Who is they? 500 00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:22,340 I googled the company, Soc Beo, and it means "Chubby Squirrel". 501 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:25,140 Chubby Squirrel's a very cute name. 502 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,140 Wait, Soc Beo? 503 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:29,500 That's the name of Maya's restaurant. 504 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,180 Mum, what did you do? 505 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:34,380 I booked the whole restaurant out for opening night. 506 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:38,380 It's gonna be a lonely little squirrel when nobody shows up. 507 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:41,060 They're gonna charge me the whole cancellation fee. 508 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:41,300 They're gonna charge me What were you thinking? 509 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:42,580 What were you thinking? 510 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,780 (GASPS) 511 00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:45,660 You little beauty! 512 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,740 This is no time to celebrate, Mum. MAGGIE: No! 513 00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:51,380 No, they were Lawrence Porter's last words. 514 00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:53,300 I've remembered. 515 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:57,460 "You little beauty!" 516 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:04,100 This proves she has no clue how to manage money anymore. 517 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,420 Get her to sign the power-of-attorney papers, Arthur. 518 00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,300 (SIGHS) 519 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,300 (DOORBELL RINGS) 520 00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,820 Succulents to the kitchen, please. 521 00:18:25,820 --> 00:18:27,380 I was just dropping food to Chong, 522 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,860 and I thought maybe Maggie might like some as well. 523 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,500 But if you think that's a bad idea... 524 00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:35,820 If this is an attempt to bribe the safe code out of me, 525 00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:36,060 If this is an attempt you're out of luck. 526 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:38,380 you're out of luck. 527 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,940 I'm going to speak to the goat. 528 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,980 Sorry. 529 00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:48,620 She's been in a nightmare mood. She does not deserve that deliciousness. 530 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:48,860 She's been in a nightmare mood. She (LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand. 531 00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,620 (LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand. 532 00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:51,860 If you don't mind, I actually (LAUGHS) It's fine. I understand. 533 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:55,380 If you don't mind, I actually came around for another reason. 534 00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,780 Um... 535 00:18:58,780 --> 00:18:59,020 ..what are you doing Um... 536 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,860 ..what are you doing on Friday night? 537 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:01,100 ..what are you doing Whatever you want. 538 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:01,860 Whatever you want. 539 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,140 Oh! 540 00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:03,380 Like, I've obviously got to check Oh! 541 00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:07,660 Like, I've obviously got to check my schedule, 'cause it's heaps busy. 542 00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:07,900 Like, I've obviously got to check But, um...yeah. (LAUGHS) 543 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:10,260 But, um...yeah. (LAUGHS) 544 00:19:10,260 --> 00:19:13,500 I was hoping your mum would come to our restaurant so she can... 545 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,300 Uh... 546 00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,060 ..you know, get a proper sense of...our vision. (LAUGHS) 547 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:17,300 ..you know, get a proper sense Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 548 00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,260 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 549 00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:18,500 Dad and I could cook her a meal, Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 550 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:21,220 Dad and I could cook her a meal, and she could, you know, 551 00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:24,140 see the integrity that we want to bring to the space. 552 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,460 Also, we don't have table and chairs yet, 553 00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:29,740 so there's a DIY dance floor, in case you want to cut some shapes. 554 00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:33,940 What do you say? 555 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,500 I reckon it's a great idea. 556 00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:36,700 I'll ask Mum. 557 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:37,620 But I got to warn you, 558 00:19:37,620 --> 00:19:40,100 when she's saying no to free food, things are pretty grim. 559 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,340 Oh! You're still here. 560 00:19:42,340 --> 00:19:43,460 Look. 561 00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:46,020 I'll dispose of those for you, 562 00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,820 since nobody else wants them. 563 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:55,980 (LAUGHS) 564 00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:00,900 Don't complain about having to get inferior vegetables, OK? 565 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,420 I am not driving 10 suburbs for good produce 566 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:05,660 just because YOU refuse to apologise to Tony. 567 00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:09,340 Oh! Lawrence Porter would have done it for me in the blink of an eye. 568 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:11,100 Lawrence Porter's eyes are never blinking again, 569 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:11,340 Lawrence Porter's eyes so that's not an option, is it? 570 00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:12,980 so that's not an option, is it? 571 00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,900 Now, seeing as I've churned through 572 00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:17,380 all three of the Ghanaian recipes I know, 573 00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:19,500 how about me and you take our tastebuds 574 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,380 a little further abroad tonight? 575 00:20:21,380 --> 00:20:23,620 Maybe somewhere like Vietnam? 576 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,420 Oh! Forget it, Arthur. 577 00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:27,180 If you think some dry grilled pork 578 00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,100 is gonna get that safe code out of me, 579 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:29,340 is gonna get that safe code you got another think coming. 580 00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,700 you got another think coming. 581 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,940 Never, ever... 582 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:34,340 Oh! No! 583 00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,140 Um... 584 00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:38,700 (INAUDIBLE) ARTHUR: Actually, you know what? 585 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:40,460 Why don't we... why don't we go down this... 586 00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:41,460 ..this way for a change? 587 00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,580 Yeah. It looks like a nice laneway. 588 00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,020 MAYA: Hey! 589 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:45,820 Hi. (LAUGHS) 590 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:47,460 Hello, Maggie. 591 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,460 Hello. Hey, Maya. 592 00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:52,060 Hey. You're friends with...Blodwyn? 593 00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:52,300 Hey. Yeah. 594 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,060 Yeah. 595 00:20:53,060 --> 00:20:54,260 Yeah. Yeah. 596 00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:54,500 She really seemed to be in a rush Yeah. Yeah. 597 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,500 She really seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere just now. 598 00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:57,740 She really seemed to be in a rush I mean...I mean... 599 00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:58,500 I mean...I mean... 600 00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,980 ..what were you guys talking about? 601 00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:02,180 Oh, you know. This and that. 602 00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:03,100 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 603 00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,580 I mean, good this and that or, like... 604 00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:06,860 ..bad... 605 00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:08,660 ..clumsy this and that? 606 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:10,820 Did Arthur tell you about dinner? 607 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,700 Uh, yes. He did mention it. 608 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,380 MAYA: My dad's gonna be there, 609 00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:18,500 and I know that he would love to have a dance with you after. 610 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:21,740 I'm...hoping you'll come along. 611 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,100 You know what? 612 00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:28,940 I think I will. 613 00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:36,220 ROBBIE: OK, gang, let's get you guys home. 614 00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:40,380 KEELAN: See you, Uncle Arthur. MELODY: Bye, Uncle Arthur. 615 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:41,820 (LAUGHS) 616 00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:46,100 Thank God I managed to cancel the fake restaurant booking Mum made. 617 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:48,220 I told them I had my credit card stolen, 618 00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:51,020 and the OWNER seemed super-annoyed. 619 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:53,300 Mmm. I mean, it is pretty unfair on them. 620 00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,540 I got a refund. That's all that counts. 621 00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:56,820 Why haven't you made another appointment 622 00:21:56,820 --> 00:21:57,060 Why haven't you made to get her signature on the papers? 623 00:21:57,060 --> 00:21:58,740 to get her signature on the papers? 624 00:21:58,740 --> 00:22:00,540 I don't want to use our local solicitor, Robbie. 625 00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:03,060 Can we use yours? At $300 an hour? 626 00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:04,500 No way! 627 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:05,420 Listen. 628 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:07,820 We've all had bad sex, Arthur. 629 00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:11,340 Don't let it cost you our family home. 630 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:14,500 Just make the call and bring Mum in first thing Monday morning. 631 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:14,740 Just make the call and bring Mum in Bye. 632 00:22:14,740 --> 00:22:16,180 Bye. 633 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,740 You two, get in the car. 634 00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,380 (PHONE RINGS) 635 00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:26,980 Chuppa & Peele. Blodwyn speaking. 636 00:22:26,980 --> 00:22:28,060 How can I help? 637 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:32,700 Hello? 638 00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:36,140 ARTHUR: Blodwyn. Blod...Blodwyn. 639 00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:37,940 It's...it's me. 640 00:22:37,940 --> 00:22:39,380 Arthur. 641 00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:41,020 OK. 642 00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:41,260 ARTHUR: Well, OK. 643 00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:44,780 ARTHUR: Well, I just want to make an appointment, 644 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:48,020 uh, to witness a signature for my mum, if that's OK. 645 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:48,260 uh, to witness a signature That is perfectly fine. 646 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:49,900 That is perfectly fine. 647 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:50,140 And I also feel like That is perfectly fine. 648 00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:55,100 And I also feel like I kinda need to...explain the... 649 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:55,340 And I also feel like ..bad sex... 650 00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,580 ..bad sex... 651 00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,620 ..the other night. 652 00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:00,700 Um... 653 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:03,180 ..I need you to know, like, that was not my A-game. 654 00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:03,420 ..I need you to know, like, Yeah? 655 00:23:03,420 --> 00:23:04,180 Yeah? 656 00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:04,420 Like, that was... Yeah? 657 00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:06,940 Like, that was... uh, that wasn't even my Z-game. 658 00:23:06,940 --> 00:23:10,180 Like, uh, I would need to invent a whole new alphabet 659 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,620 to find a letter to assign to how truly... 660 00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:15,580 ..woeful that performance wa... 661 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:16,700 I have to inform you, 662 00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,900 this phone call is being recorded for training purposes. 663 00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:23,780 Um...no, um, can you not, uh, record it? 664 00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:24,020 Um...no, um, Uh...uh, no. 665 00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:25,060 Uh...uh, no. 666 00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:25,900 No, um... 667 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:27,820 ..I...I do not permit! 668 00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:29,420 (LAUGHS) Uh... 669 00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:30,220 ..jokes. 670 00:23:30,220 --> 00:23:33,060 Oh, Arthur, I should be the one apologising. 671 00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:33,300 Oh, Arthur, (SIGHS) 672 00:23:33,300 --> 00:23:34,220 (SIGHS) 673 00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:34,460 Work has been so hectic (SIGHS) 674 00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:36,100 Work has been so hectic these last couple of months, 675 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,380 and I've been grinding myself to the bone, and... 676 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:41,460 ..well, I should have stayed home the other night, but... 677 00:23:41,460 --> 00:23:43,860 ..I'm glad I pushed myself, because... 678 00:23:43,860 --> 00:23:44,100 ..I'm glad I pushed myself, ..well... 679 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:45,020 ..well... 680 00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:46,100 ..this is gonna sound terrible, 681 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:46,340 but that was honestly ..this is gonna sound terrible, 682 00:23:46,340 --> 00:23:48,700 but that was honestly the best sleep I've had in ages. 683 00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:51,380 Um... 684 00:23:51,380 --> 00:23:52,380 ..oh, you're welcome. 685 00:23:52,380 --> 00:23:53,380 (LAUGHS) 686 00:23:53,380 --> 00:23:55,900 BLODWYN: Oh, and as for... 687 00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:56,140 ..all the bits BLODWYN: Oh, and as for... 688 00:23:56,140 --> 00:24:00,060 ..all the bits leading up to my teeny-tiny nap... 689 00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:03,180 ..I don't think there's such a thing as good or bad. 690 00:24:03,180 --> 00:24:05,980 It's just about finding someone you're in sync with. 691 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,140 I made an appointment for Monday morning, Mum. 692 00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:14,620 (DOOR OPENS) Mum? 693 00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:17,660 Oh, hey! (LAUGHS) 694 00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:19,900 ARTHUR: Holy moly! Look at you! 695 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,140 What's with the outfit? 696 00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:24,820 Well, I'm gonna be dancing with Tony tonight, 697 00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:27,260 and with me looking like this, 698 00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:29,860 he won't live to see sunrise. 699 00:24:29,860 --> 00:24:34,380 His last words will be "Oh, you little beauty." 700 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:39,820 So you're planning to seduce and kill Maya's dad 701 00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:40,060 So you're planning with your gymnastic sexploits? 702 00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:42,020 with your gymnastic sexploits? 703 00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:42,260 Oh, don't take all the poetry with your gymnastic sexploits? 704 00:24:42,260 --> 00:24:44,500 Oh, don't take all the poetry out of it. 705 00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:47,860 Come on! Let's do this properly, Mum. No excuses. 706 00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,100 Come on! Let's do this properly, Mum. Alright. Just hang on a minute. 707 00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:50,700 Alright. Just hang on a minute. 708 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:52,980 (SIGHS) 709 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,460 You'd better take this. 710 00:24:58,460 --> 00:25:04,060 For Maya, in case she falls asleep halfway through...dinner. 711 00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:04,300 For Maya, in case she falls asleep Give me that! 712 00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:05,500 Give me that! 713 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:06,540 You're not going! 714 00:25:06,540 --> 00:25:10,300 I will go and let them all know that you've lost your mind! 715 00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:10,540 I will go and let them all know If you say so, Arthur. 716 00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:12,100 If you say so, Arthur. 717 00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:12,340 I'll go and put my pyjamas on If you say so, Arthur. 718 00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:17,420 I'll go and put my pyjamas on and have a nice cup of tea, then. 719 00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:31,220 (SIGHS) 720 00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:33,140 Mum sends her apologies. 721 00:25:33,140 --> 00:25:36,700 She wasn't feeling herself tonight. 722 00:25:39,860 --> 00:25:43,540 I'm going home to my pyjamas and a cup of tea. 723 00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:47,500 Can't believe I hired my chef for nothing. 724 00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:50,540 (SIGHS) 725 00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:52,540 ARTHUR: I'm really sorry, Maya. 726 00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:54,100 You said your dad has high blood pressure. 727 00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:54,340 You said I was a bit worried my mum would... 728 00:25:54,340 --> 00:25:56,140 I was a bit worried my mum would... 729 00:25:56,140 --> 00:25:58,100 ..well, set it off. 730 00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,580 (LAUGHS) 731 00:25:59,580 --> 00:26:02,780 All dressed up and our plans in tatters. 732 00:26:02,780 --> 00:26:05,220 You went to so much trouble. 733 00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:06,780 (SIGHS) 734 00:26:07,740 --> 00:26:10,740 Well, now that you're here, we shouldn't waste it. 735 00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:15,140 Shall we dance? 736 00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:16,460 (LAUGHS) 737 00:26:20,660 --> 00:26:23,620 (ELEGANT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) 738 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:29,420 (LAUGHS) 739 00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:35,660 I'm guessing my lifetime ban at the fruit shop still stands? 740 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:35,900 I'm guessing my lifetime ban Oh. Dad was already in a bad mood. 741 00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:37,580 Oh. Dad was already in a bad mood. 742 00:26:37,580 --> 00:26:40,020 We had a single reservation for opening night 743 00:26:40,020 --> 00:26:43,780 and, uh, they cancelled today, so... 744 00:26:43,780 --> 00:26:46,180 ..he was really upset about that. 745 00:26:46,180 --> 00:26:47,260 Yeah. 746 00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:50,060 People suck. 747 00:26:51,140 --> 00:26:53,780 Oh! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) 748 00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:55,260 Wow. Who knew a guy like you had moves? 749 00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:58,900 Yeah, well, I took ballroom dancing at school over woodwork, so... 750 00:26:58,900 --> 00:26:59,140 Yeah, well, I took ballroom dancing Oh. Well, it paid off. 751 00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:01,780 Oh. Well, it paid off. 752 00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,300 (BOTH LAUGH) 753 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,300 (LAUGHS) 754 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:10,020 Did it? 755 00:27:10,020 --> 00:27:13,500 I mean, all the tradies I know have jet skis, 756 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:15,740 and I have a bus pass. 757 00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,140 (LAUGHS) 758 00:27:21,180 --> 00:27:23,220 (GASPS) Opening night! 759 00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,580 Sorry? 760 00:27:25,580 --> 00:27:25,820 Opening night was the biggest, Sorry? 761 00:27:25,820 --> 00:27:29,580 Opening night was the biggest, proudest day of my dad's life. 762 00:27:29,580 --> 00:27:29,820 Opening night was the biggest, One year after I was born. 763 00:27:29,820 --> 00:27:31,860 One year after I was born. 764 00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:35,260 (GASPS) You did it! 765 00:27:35,260 --> 00:27:37,820 Oh, there's not gonna be any gold in there. Trust me. 766 00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:38,060 Oh, there's not gonna be Ah! I don't know about that. 767 00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:41,060 Ah! I don't know about that. 768 00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:43,620 (LAUGHS) 769 00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,740 You were cute then too. 770 00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:51,780 (LAUGHS) 771 00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,820 I got it framed to surprise her. 772 00:27:57,820 --> 00:27:59,980 You're a decent guy, Arthur. 773 00:27:59,980 --> 00:28:03,980 Well, I mean, it was the cheapest frame they had, so...not really. 774 00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:05,380 BLODWYN: No, you are. 775 00:28:05,380 --> 00:28:08,500 Maya and I talked about you after we saw you the other day. 776 00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:11,700 Oh, you didn't happen to talk about the... 777 00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:12,980 Bad sex? 778 00:28:12,980 --> 00:28:15,980 No. Of course not. 779 00:28:15,980 --> 00:28:19,780 Maya was too busy saying nice things about you. 780 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:21,020 Really? BLODWYN: Mmm. 781 00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:21,260 Really? I mean... 782 00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,060 I mean... 783 00:28:23,060 --> 00:28:25,020 ..what did she say exactly? 784 00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:26,500 (DOOR OPENS) 785 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:30,060 Well, you can ring your sister and tell her it's done. 786 00:28:30,060 --> 00:28:30,300 Well, you can ring your sister You signed the power of attorney? 787 00:28:30,300 --> 00:28:31,860 You signed the power of attorney? 788 00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:34,340 No! Something much better. 789 00:28:34,340 --> 00:28:37,820 In honour of the late, great Lawrence Porter, 790 00:28:37,820 --> 00:28:38,060 In honour I've left my entire estate 791 00:28:38,060 --> 00:28:39,340 I've left my entire estate 792 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:39,580 to the Cactus and Succulent I've left my entire estate 793 00:28:39,580 --> 00:28:43,860 to the Cactus and Succulent Appreciation Society. 794 00:28:43,860 --> 00:28:45,420 Oh! 795 00:28:45,420 --> 00:28:47,220 (SIGHS) 796 00:28:47,220 --> 00:28:50,820 You little beauty! 797 00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:59,700 I appreciate you and all that you have given, 798 00:28:59,700 --> 00:29:02,380 but the time has come. 799 00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:07,700 (FEEDBACK WHINES) 800 00:29:07,700 --> 00:29:07,940 Roll up, roll up, roll up (FEEDBACK WHINES) 801 00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:11,620 Roll up, roll up, roll up for the great cactus sale! 802 00:29:11,620 --> 00:29:17,300 All proceeds to the Cactus and Succulent Appreciation Society. 803 00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:22,580 Oh, for God's sake, Arthur, put your back into it! 804 00:29:22,580 --> 00:29:22,820 Oh, for God's sake, Arthur, Go! 805 00:29:22,820 --> 00:29:24,260 Go! 806 00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:27,740 Captions by Red Bee Media 807 00:29:27,740 --> 00:29:29,820 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation