'...that's correct.'
Let me see your driver's license.
'Coach 1018, coach 1018.'
From out of town, huh?
What you got in the trunk?
Oh...
You don't want to look in there.
Give me the keys.
♪ Oh my darling, Clementine
♪Thou art lost and gone forever
♪ Dreadful sorry, Clementine ♪
'Mr Humphries, aisle nine.. Mr Humphries, aisle nine.'
♪ Feelin' 7-Up, I'm feelin' 7-Up
♪ Feelin 7-Up, I'm feelin 7-Up
♪ It's a crisp refreshin' feelin'
♪ Crystal clear and light
♪America's drinkin' 7-Up
♪And it sure feels right
♪ Feelin lucky seven ♪
Kevin, stop singing, man.
Huh? I wasn't singing, guy.
I'm standing right next to you and you were fucking singing, cut it out.
Why so tense, guy?
- Otto. - Mr Humphries.
You were late again this morning.
Normally I'd let it go,
but it's been brought to my attention that you're not paying attention
to the way you space the cans.
Many young men your age in these uncertain times...
Otto?
Are you paying attention to me?
Hey, he's talkin' to you.
Fuck you!
Come on, you fucker, come on! Just try it.
Come on.
Gotta love getting fired from your job in a big way, Otto.
What are you laughing at?
Louie, throw him out, too.
- Come on, you fucking worm. - Me?
Get out of here.
THE CIRCLE JERKS: "Coup d'État")
♪The generalissimo sets up shop
♪ Step out of line, your neck's on the block
♪Armies marching through the streets
♪ Dressed so sharp, dressed so neat
♪ Coup d'État
♪ Coup d'État ♪
How're ya doin', Duke?
When did you get out of the slammer, man?
Excuse me while I fold my pants.
What's the difference?
Huh?
Okay.
Otto...
- Otto... - What?
Get me another beer.
- (Kevin) Ow. Cool. Ow.
Dammit. A joke's a joke.
I'm supposed to be the host here.
Ow!
Debbi, honey...
I got your beer.
Just ignore him, Duke.
He's nothing but a big baby.
- What are you doin', man? - (Duke) Turn the fucking light out!
Nobody's supposed to be here. This is my parents' room.
♪ Don't want to talk about anything else
♪We don't want to know
♪We're just dedicated
♪To our favourite shows ♪
Saturday Night Live.
Monday Night Football.
Dallas.
Jeffersons.
Gilligan's lsland.
The Flintstones.
Hey, kid...
Hey!
Hey, kid. Hey, you hard of hearing, Ace?
- What do you want? - You wanna make ten bucks?
Fuck you, queer.
Now wait a minute, wait a minute, kid, you got the wrong idea.
Look, my old lady's real sick,
I got to get her to the hospital, okay?
So what? Take her there.
I can't. I can't leave her car in this bad area.
Look, I need some helpful soul to drive it for me, okay?
She's pregnant. She's with twins, she could drop at any time, all right?
Well, ah, how much you gonna give me?
- Fifteen bucks. - Nah, I won't do it for less than twenty.
Twenty-five.
Follow me in my old lady's car. It's right here, okay?
All right.
Where's uh... Where's your old lady at?
Never mind about that.
Right now we gotta get both my cars out of this bad area, all right?
Come on.
Let's go.
THE PLUGZ "El Clavo Y La Cruz"
You know damned straight which one I'm talking about.
It's sittin' right outside.
It took me two weeks to get this money up so I could come and get it.
That ain't your car.
Hey, you gonna let him lie to you like that?
- Shut up. - Huh?
You gonna give me my car or do I gotta go to your house
and shove your dog's head down the toilet?
- Take it easy, sonny boy. - (Woman) Shut up, rent a cop.
Best goddamned car on the lot.
You damned right it is.
Say, Mo, what's happening? You won't take a lift?
- No, thank you. - Let's go.
- Drive a Cadillac, sleep in a tent. - (Bud) Shut up, Plettschner.
Bud, what street was that car on?
Honey, I don't know, some alley...
- Hey, kid. - He doesn't know.
Hey, what street was the Cutlass on?
- I don't know. - They don't know, I'll call you back.
- What happened to your old lady? - My old lady?
Oh, shit. I forgot all about her.
Well, she'll take the bus. She's a rock.
Hey, come on in.
Marlene!
- Marlene! - Can you hold?
- You gotta name, kid? - Yeah, it's Otto.
Auto? Auto Parts? (Laughs)
Here, kid.
- Helping hand. - You got a driver's license, sonny?
Oh yeah, you're fucking-a we ripped your car, asshole.
You wanna know who told us where it was?
Your goddamned brother.
- Are you really 21? - That's what it says, doesn't it?
Hey, you want some help with that beer, kid?
- You're all repo men. - What if we are?
You know, kid, usually when somebody pulls shit like that
my first reaction is, ah...
I want to punch his fucking lights out.
But you know something...
You're all right!
- Right, Lite.
- You got any messages for me, baby? - (Marlene) Yeah, here you go.
Somebody pissed on the floor again?
Maybe he's looking for a job, hey Budsky?
Could be. What do you say kid?
We're always on the lookout for a few good men.
Screw that!
Ain't going to be no repo man. No way!
It's too late... you already are.
You find one in every car.
You'll see.
'Come in, Officer Labeef, do you read me?'
Years ago I saw five cows mutilated.
Legs sticking up in the air.
- 'Chuck, will you stop screwin' around?' - Their ah... their testicles were cut off.
I think Canadian bacon is better myself.
'I've got the stats on that car, Officer Labeef.'
I've never seen the like of that.
'Ten-forty Baker...'
What could have done that to him?
Gasoline?
Napalm?
It happens sometimes. People just explode.
Natural causes.
What?
- Night watchman in Pomona? - Yep.
- Asbestos worker. City of industry. - Yep, yep!
French fry maker Agoura. That's absurd.
Yeah? Well, you think it's funny, huh?
There's fucking room to move as a fry cook, man.
You know, I could be manager in two years?
King!
God!
You know, Kevin,
I had this wild fucking dream the other night.
I bet.
It was with you and me,
and we were working in this sleazy shithole motel
down in Miami, Florida.
And we were bellhops.
And we were sixty-five years old.
It was so real, it was really real, realistic.
And then what, you woke up in a puddle?
- Fuck you! - Fucking jerk.
- Where are you going, asshole? - Away from you.
'The lord has told me personally.
'Yea, for I walk with the lord. Amen.
'He said, Larry, you and your flock shall seek the promised land.
'But only if you first destroy the twin evils
'of godless communism abroad
'and liberal humanism at home.'
Mother, father. Got anything to eat?
'Now, my friends, occasionally we get a letter from a viewer that says,
'now the only reason Reverend Larry comes on your television set
'is because he wants your money.
'And do you know what? They're right! I do want your money.
'Because god wants your money!
'So I want you to go out and mortgage that home
'and sell that car and send me your money.
'You don't need that car.'
Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more.
I couldn't enjoy it any more, Mum. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
This is swell.
Dad?
- Hey, Dad? - What is it, son?
Do you remember that you once told me a long time ago,
well, not too long ago, but um...
that you told me that you'd give me $1,000 to go to Europe
if I finish school.
Well, you know something? You were right.
About finishing school, that's what I'd like to do.
But, um, I want to know if I could have the money first.
Like now.
You know I really love you, Dad. I've always loved you.
You too, mum. What do you say?
I don't have it any more.
What?
You father gave all our extra money to the Reverend's telethon, Otto.
We're sending bibles to El Salvador.
Well, what about me?
You're on the honour roll of the chariots of fire.
Same as us, Otto.
It was a gift. From all of us jointly.
So how much do I get paid, twenty-five bucks a car?
Paid? You don't get paid.
You kidding? You work on commission. That's better than being paid.
Most cars you rip are worth two or three hundred dollars.
Fifty-thousand-dollar Porsche might make you five grand.
Come on, dickhead!
It helps if you dress like a detective, too.
Detectives dress kind of square.
People think this guy's a cop,
they're going to think you're packing something.
They don't fuck with you so much.
- Are you? - Am I what?
- Packin' something. - Huh.
Only an asshole gets killed for a car.
Guys who make it are the guys who get into their cars at any time.
Get in at 3:00am, get up at 4:00.
That's why there ain't a repo man I know that don't take speed.
Speed, huh?
Jesus Christ!
Never broke into a car, never hot-wired a car, kid.
I never broke into a trunk.
I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof,
nor through inaction let that vehicle or the personal contents thereof come to harm.
That's what I call the repo code, kid.
Don't forget it, etch it in your brain.
Not many people got a code to live by any more.
Hey! Hey, look at that. Look at those assholes over there.
Ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em.
- Me too. - What do you know?
See, an ordinary person spends his life avoiding tense situations.
Repo man spends his life getting into tense situations.
Assholes!
Let's go get a drink.
Tense situations, kid.
Get into five or six of them a day and they don't mean shit any more.
I mean I seen men stabbed, and it didn't mean shit.
I've seen guns. Guns too, they don't mean shit,
but that's when you got to watch yourself.
Here. I'll handle it, pal. Uh, settle down.
Have a nice day. Or night.
Night, day, it doesn't mean shit
- Wasn't that Otto? - Otto who?
There's going to be some bad shit coming down one of these days, kid.
Oh, yeah? Where you going to be?
On the moon? (Chuckles)
Uh-uh, I'm going to be right here heading north at a hundred and ten per.
In this junker?
Cool car.
Uh-oh! The Rodriguez brothers.
Motherfucker just flipped you off.
Roll the window down. Roll the window down.
- Watch it, motherfucker. - Hey, fuck you, pussy punk.
Holy shit.
Want me to take them?
- Whoa! - Whoa! Hey!
Goddamn dipshit Rodriguez gypsy dildo punks!
I'll get your ass!
Wow!
That was intense.
Repo man's always intense.
- Come on, let's go get a drink. - (Laughs) Gee, bud.
You never told me it was going to be like this, man.
Cops and robbers.
Real live car chases.
Whoo!
You dummy!
If you say our names, we'll have to kill all these people, Archie.
They all ran away.
Come on, you douchebags.
Awful quiet in here.
Too quiet.
So, who are these Rodriguez boys?
Rodriguez brothers. Lagarto and Napoleon.
Two notorious delinquents
currently responsible for at least thirty vehicles in the field.
Scumbags.
They ain't scumbags.
They're car thieves just like us.
There's Miss Magruder.
You want to go for it?
Good gag. You pull this one a lot?
Only on the women.
It never fails.
Excuse me?
Miss Magruder?
I have something here for you.
Mmm, how utterly charming.
Ow! Ow!
Ow! Motherfucker!
Lite!
I'm blind, man.
Bruce I Peason, brokerage consultant.
Fucking millionaire, six payments behind.
- I've never understood it. - What's that?
The fucking millionaires. They never pay their bills.
See you at the yard.
- Let me get this one. - No, I'll handle this one.
Mr Peason is carrying a permit for a pistol.
- Hey! Hey, hey! Give me that. - Don't underestimate me, Ace.
And also, naturally, I would like them to be right next to each other.
In addition, I would like them to be as close to the window as possible,
so I can sit in my car and watch my things.
So, all you have to do is take your clothes out of here like this
and put them into a machine over there like that.
Oh, my god! Oh!
Oh, my god! Stop!
BURNING SENSATIONS: "Pablo Picasso"
♪ Now, the girls would turn the colour of an avocado
♪When he would drive down the street... ♪
Hey!
Hey! You want a ride?
Hey babe, need a ride?
♪ Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole ♪
Pick it up!
Look at you. You pick it up.
You know yourself you were wrong.
Well, what were they doing out in the middle of the street?
They weren't in the middle of the street.
That's not the middle of the street, that's the corner.
- Go on, you pick it up! - What?
- You pick it up. - (Laughs) No way.
- You still want a ride or what? - No, I don't.
♪ Subsequently, Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole ♪
- My name is Otto. - Leila.
- Is this your car? - Yeah, it's one of them.
One of them.
Think you're pretty slick, don't you?
I bet you're a used car salesman.
- I am not. - You dress like one.
- I'm a repo man. - What's that?
It's a repossesser.
I take back cars from dildos who don't pay their bills.
- Cool, huh? - No.
What are you doing?
Those men in the car next to us. Don't look at them.
Don't look at them! If they see me, they'll kill me.
Really? Why?
Ah! What the hell are you doing?
- What's going on? - Take a look at this.
It looks like sausage.
It isn't sausage, Otto.
That's a picture of four dead aliens.
Laugh away, fuckface.
That picture is going to be on the cover
of every major newspaper in two days' time.
- How do you know that? - Part of a secret network.
A scientist who is also in our secret sect
smuggled the corpses off this air force base.
Now he's got them in the truck of his car.
It's a Chevy Malibu. We've got to find him.
What are you going to do with them, put them on Johnny Carson ?
Yes!
We're going to have a press conference and tell the world.
'Ew. What's that?'
'I don't know, dear.. But it's alive. Seems friendly though.'
- United Fruitcake Outlet.. - My door doesn't work.
'Aw look it's curled up.'
'How cute, oh no.'
'Maybe we should take it home.
- 'It doesn't seem to have any.' - (Woman) 'Oh, yes let's.'
'But no!! No matter how appealing,
'do not let strange creatures in your house.
'We all know strange creatures are on the increase.
'Many of them do seem furry and adorable, but beware!
'We don't know from whence they came.'
Thanks for the ride.
Sure.
Uhm... I don't know, what do you think?
Do you want to go out with me again some time?
I don't know. I'm gonna kind of be busy with work.
And the Malibu and everything.
Hey, great. Terrific. Here's your shit.
What's your problem?
I mean, girls might like you if you lightened up a little bit.
Fuck, man. Girls pay to go out with me.
All right?
You wanna get back in the car?
- What, here? - Yeah.
Fuck the seat!
Twenty thousand dollars for a Chevy Malibu?
Who's Double X Finance?
Store front operation, but the money is in escrow.
- Want me to notify the boys? - (Oly) Uh, naw.
They're always bitching about their case load.
- I think I'll go out for a while. - (Marlene) Why? We out of beer?
Somebody has to work around here.
- Keep making me money, kid. - Fuck you.
Man, we've been looking for this little red devil for a long time.
Just act natural.
Nobody knows if it's your car or somebody else's car.
Don't worry about that, come on. You give it a try, all right?
I knew we'd find it, boy.
- Come on - Got it.
Let's get out of here.
Oh, man!
Put your seat belt on, boy.
I don't ride with anybody unless they wear their seatbelt.
It's one of my rules.
Put that damn gun down, boy. It ain't no toy.
Shit.
I walk into someone's place of work.
They're shit scared.
They know I'm not a cop.
They think I've come to kill 'em and I would.
I'd kill anybody who crosses me. You know what I mean?
- Do you like music? - Sure.
In that case you're going to love this.
I was into these dudes before anybody.
Partied with them all the time.
Asked me to be their manager.
I called bullshit on that.
Managing a pop group?
Hey, ain't no job for no man.
Did you read that book I gave you?
- What book? - Dioretix.
- Science of matter over mind. - Uh-uh.
You'd better read it and quick.
That book will change your life.
Found it in a Maserati in Beverly Hills. You know what I mean?
A lot of people don't realise what's really going on.
They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things.
They don't realise that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence
that lays on top of everything.
I'll give you an example, show you what I mean.
Suppose you're thinking about a plate of shrimp.
Suddenly somebody will say, like, "plate" or "shrimp" or "plate of shrimp",
out of the blue, no explanation.
No point in looking for one either.
It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
You eat a lot of acid, Miller, back in the hippie days?
I'll give you another instance.
You know the way everybody's into weirdness right now?
Books in all the supermarkets about Bermuda triangles.
UFOs, how the Mayans invented television.
That kind of thing.
I don't read them books.
Well, the way I see it it's exactly the same.
There ain't no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine.
People get so hung up on specifics,
they miss out on seeing the whole thing.
Take South America, for example.
In South America, thousands of people go missing every year.
Nobody knows where they go.
They just, like, disappear.
But if you think about it for a minute...
...you realise something.
There had to be a time when there was no people, right?
Yeah, I guess.
Well, where did all these people come from?
Hmm?
I'll tell you where. The future.
Where did all these people disappear to, hmm?
- The past? - That's right!
- And how did they get there? - How the fuck do I know?
Flying saucers.
Which are really...
Yeah, you got it.
Time machines.
I think a lot about this kind of stuff.
I do my best thinking on the bus.
That's how come I don't drive, see?
You don't even know how to drive.
I don't want to know how. I don't want to learn, see?
The more you drive...
...the less intelligent you are.
You know, I think I saw one of those things once, them UFOs.
I mean it was really... it was kind of scary.
I saw all these fucking coloured lights and, uh, sounds.
I mean, sounds and lights like I never heard before.
I mean it was really weird.
Bud.. Yeah?
Do you think all repo men follow the code?
Of course.
Well, I mean you see a lot of fucked up cars come in, but...
99 times out of 100, it's the customer who fucks them up.
Assholes.
I'm offering a thousands dollars for his Falcon.
You know what that is, Napoleon? It's a bribe.
'Who the hell is this? Napoleon?
'Who the fuck are you calling?'
It's a grand if you show me where his car is, Napoleon.
'Ah, go fuck yourself, asshole.'
Hello?
Prick.
Sixty-four Chevy Malibu. Twenty grand.
Waiting!
We could buy ten of them for that, Marlene.
- Think you can find it now? - (Bud) Not going anywhere!
Now how come this junk is worth so much?
What's in it? Drugs?
Got all night, amigos.
Hermanos Rodriguez don't approve of drugs.
Neither do I, but it's my birthday.
I'm going to get your ass!
That motherfucker's still down there.
Don't care how long it takes, dildos.
Repo man's got all night every night.
Jesus Christ, twenty thousand dollars.
'Hi, this is Leila.
'I'm not here right now, so please leave your name, number
'and a brief message and a time you called at the beep.
'And please try to be frank.'
'Hey, Leila!! All right, um, this is Otto.
'The guy who gave you a ride and stuff.
'I heard something about that car.'
- (Leila) Otto?
Otto.
Otto, stop.
You said you had something to tell me.
Otto?
- Otto! - Huh?
What did you want to tell me?
Oh!
Take off your clothes.
- I'm at work, Otto! - Oh, yeah? Me too.
- Your work is different than mine. - Says who?
What are you doing? Don't do that.
Well, the least you could do is give me a blow job.
I guess that means no.
Leila?
We have a cell meeting in two minutes' time.
Thanks, Deirdre. I'll be right there.
See, that motherfucker only thinks I don't know what's going on, Lite.
As soon as I find that Chevy, I'm going indie.
I'm going to buy myself a tow truck, a couple of pitbulls, and run a yard.
Sit around and watch everybody else do the work for a while.
No way you can do that on twenty grand, man.
The hell I can.
As long as you have good credit, and my credit is spotless.
Credit is a sacred trust.
It's what our free society is founded on.
You think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?
I said do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia?
They don't pay bills in Russia. It's all free.
All free?
Free, my ass! What are you, a fucking commie?
- Huh? - No, I ain't no commie.
Well, you'd better not be. I don't want no commies in my car.
No Christians, either.
I'll deal with you later.. I've got a customer to attend to.
You too.
Hi! I'm Kevin. Vacuum, sir?
Need a vacuum, sir?
Oh, hey! Do you want me to check the trunk?
Excuse me.
- Hi! I'm Kevin! - Hey, buddy! How you doing, huh?
Hey, don't you remember me? I was here yesterday.
Listen, I think I left a book of matches over in your office over there.
You want to go check for me, huh?
- Sure thing. - Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
- Anything for you, babes. - All right, you're beautiful. I love you.
Be right back.
What?
It's really very simple, Mrs Parks.
You don't want me to take your car, and I don't want to take your car.
Now, I said to the boss, I said,
"Look, I do not want to repossess this lady's car."
Well, I've been in the hospital, you see.
Yeah. Yes, I understand.
My job is really on the line over this one. I mean, I could lose it right away.
I'll see if I can borrow some money from somewhere.
That's terrific. Really terrific.
- Oh, how was the rehearsal, son? - It was okay.
- Who's this? - Oh, this is Mr Otto, Gary.
From the finance company.
He's been telling me that he isn't going to take the car this time,
even though he could.
Well...
Gotta get going here.
Did you like the tea?
- The tea? - Uh-huh.
Yeah, it was terrific.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
Uh, excuse me.
I gave you the money last week to pay it.
And you didn't do it. What did you do with it?
I'm so tired of giving you money and you squandering it.
I know what you done.
You all went out dancing somewhere. That's what you did.
Now listen, next time I give you some money,
I want you to put it in the car, ya hear. You're working.
How come you didn't do it? I don't know what's happened to you.
You'll be sorry...
Hey, it's cool, man. It's cool.
I like music too, man, hey.
Ow! Ow!
Some people aren't cut out to be a repo man.
Why don't you smarten up, kid?
Fuck you, Plettschner! Ow! Ow!
Don't you say fuck you to me. Don't you know who I am?
Yeah, you're Plettschner.
You're fucking right, I'm Plettschner. Otto Plettschner.
Three times decorated in two world wars.
I was killing people while you were still swimming around in your father's balls.
You little scumbag!
I worked five years in a slaughter house and ten years as a prison guard in Attica.
- So what? - So what?
So never say fuck you to me.
Because you haven't earned the rights yet.
Hey, kid, I need a contract driver.
See what I mean, punk?
- Fuck you! - Fuck you!
- You little scumbag. - (Lite) Shut up, Plettschner.
Don't you ever tell me to shut up.
Shit!
It's too hot in here, man.
What the hell's going on?
So fucking hot I think that shit in the trunk is going to melt.
I think we better take a look, all right?
Go get us two sodas.
All right, as soon as I check the trunk.
We're just the mules.
All right.
- 'Helping hand.' - Marlene! We've found the car.
Come on, guys!
- Get the lead out. - Stop pushing, Duke.
- My medication. - Aw, man!
Aw, be cool dude. We got more.
Aw, let me help you, Archie dear.
Come on, come on.
♪ Da-dah-dee-dee-dee-dah...
Yeah, well, that's not the only thing, Marlene, this car is hot.
'What do you mean? Stolen?'
- No, I mean it's hot, really hot. - 'Hot?'
Yeah, we're sweating like pigs, man.
'I got the papers. Where is the car from?'
It's from someplace, uh...
Roswell, New Mexico.
Me?? Fight in a war, man?
Fuck, no way!
Nobody's got to do that shit. Not in this country.
A new ID don't cost no more than a pink slip.
You know what I mean?
Something wrong?
You know Marlene?
Man, she's pretty hot.
Otto, my man.
I jumped on that action from day one.
I found out where she was coming from.
- See ya back at the yard. - Have fun.
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
Lite!
Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
Lite! Lite!
Lite!
Lite! Open the door.
There's a maniac in there. What are you doing?
Jesus! Open the door, man! What are you doing?
Open the door.
Lite!
You're still on the job, white boy. Get in the car.
Open the door, man, open the fucking door.
Open the door, Lite.
- Get in the car. - Jesus Christ.
You're crazy, Lite.
I mean you can't just shoot into people's houses.
- I mean, maybe you shot the guy. - What if I did?
Well, I don't know. I mean, that's pretty severe.
Jesus Christ.
Hey! Blanks get the job done, too.
You repo men, you guys are all out to fuckin' lunch.
Let's get out of here.
Hello.
Is it you?
This is Leila. Are you using a scrambler?
I can't hear you. I'm using the scrambler.
- Look out! - What?
Happy face! You want a ride?
Help! Help! No! Help!
- 'What do you want from me?'?' - 'We ask the questions.'
'You're not going to torture me, are you?'
'Torture you? What for?'
'To find out what I know.
'I'd torture someone in a second if it was up to me.'
'Huh? Why are you looking for the Malibu?'
'Because of the trunk. The aliens inside.'
- 'Illegal aliens?' - 'No, silly. Extraterrestrials.'
'Ah. (Chuckles)
'Did you ever think about joining the CIA?'
'Um. I'm going to have to ask my boyfriend.'
'Boyfriend?'
♪Jingle bells, jingle bells
♪Jingle all the way... ♪
- What's going on? - The usual.
Come on, Miller! Hi, Marlene!
How you doing, baby?
Jesus, who done that to you, son?
Who done what?
Who done what, he says. You want to talk about guts.
What did you do to your face, kid?
- Oh, some dude. It doesn't matter. - Oh, yes it does.
Why don't you do something, Plettschner? Aren't you a cop?
Marlene, I'm on my coffee break.
Repo man don't go running to the man, Marlene.
A repo man goes it alone.
- Yes, siree, Bob. - Just like John Wayne.
Damn right, just like John Wayne. What's wrong about that?
Greatest American that ever lived.
John Wayne was a fag.
- What did you say, man? - Huh?
What?
John Wayne was a fag.
The hell he was!
He was too, you boys.
I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood.
And he'd come to the door in a dress.
Ah, you're fucking nuts.
That doesn't mean he was a homo, Miller.
Lotta straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck.
- I know I do. - Yeah?
- Don't you? - Damn straight I do.
Fuck John Wayne, man. Tell us his name, you little pussy.
Piss off, asshole.
Ow, you bastards.
Hey, take it easy.
Take it easy. The guy's head is hurt.
You're taking this too personal, son.
The thing is, a repo man got beat up in the line of duty.
Now, it doesn't matter that the man was you.
What really matters is that the guy that did it has got to pay the price.
Now stop being selfish and tell us his name.
Come on.
- Come on! - (Screams) You bastard! All right!
All right, all right, all right!
Okay, his name was...
- Mr Humphries? - Yes?
Yes, I'm Mr Humphries. What do you want?
'The president admitted US planes
'have napalmed refugee camps in Southern Mexico.
'He explained that these camps were in fact guerrilla bases.
'In strife-torn Guatemala shots were fires at the U.S. embassy...'
'and government troops retaliated and killed 50...'
Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation, Marlene speaking.
'Hello, is Otto there?'
It's for you. A girl.
- Yeah? - 'Hi, Otto. It's Leila.'
Leila who?
THE CIRCLE JERKS: "When the Shit Hits the Fan"
♪Ten kids in a Cadillac
♪ Stand in line for welfare checks
♪ Let's all leach off the state
♪ Gee! The money's really great!
♪We just get by however we can
♪We all gotta duck
♪When the shit hits the fan ♪
- I can't believe I used to like these guys. - Listen to me!
For the sake of this and future generations,
you must tell us everything you know.
Yeah, sure. I need another drink.
Otto, these aliens aren't on ice or anything.
They could be starting to decay.
We've got to find them before they turn into mush.
Well, well, well!
If it ain't the repo man.
You look like shit, you wanker.
Duke. Debbi. Archie.
I'd like you to meet Leila and her weird friend.
How you doing, asshole?
How come you don't hang out with your friends no more?
What friends?
Uh.
Want some byoot, dude?
Duke!
I really love you, man.
You're my best friend,
'cause you always fucking came to see me while I was in Juvie.
I'm busy, man.. I told you I was working.
- Look, a metal hand. - Cool!
- Can we feel it?
Enchanté.
Fuck this! Let's go do some crimes.
Adios, butthole.
Charming friends you got there, Otto.
Thanks, I made 'em myself.
♪ Doo-be-de-doo-wop-wop, say what, yeah ♪
Hey, what the fuck are you doing with our car?
- Your car? - Yeah!
Are you sure?
This looks like my car.
Are there pecan pies in the back seat?
Not any more. We ate 'em.
- Shut up, Archie. - You shut up.
You're still here?
My car looks just like this.
But this is yours, your car?
- Yeah, four eyes. - Of course...
- What's in the trunk? - What do you mean?
You don't even know what's in your own trunk.
- Kill him, Duke! - You know what?
- I think you're afraid to find out. - Kill him.
Come on, Duke, you putty butt. Kill him.
I ain't afraid of nothing, see.
It's all right I don't blame you for being afraid.
I said I ain't afraid of nothing!
I kill people like you.
Oh, well.
I guess you're right.
It's better not to look.
Beautiful evening.
You can almost see the stars.
Oh, shut up.
He's going to open it. (Laughs)
- Ah. - (Debbi) Come on, Duke.
This thing is hot.
Aw...
Well, we don't have all night.
Close it, Duke! No! No!
Aw. Dukie Wookie hurt his wittle hand.
Fuck you, Archie! Just for that, you're not in the gang anymore.
- I'm taking over now. - (Debbi) Oh, leave it out.
- King Archie, the invincible. - Shut up, Archie.
Hey, Debbi! Watch this.
Oh, dear, what a shame.
Come on, Duke, let's go do those crimes.
Yeah. Yeah.
Let's go get sushi and... and not pay.
Hey! Yo! Hey buddy!
Special deputies. Pull over.
Special deputies. Pull over. Hey!
So the farmer says the ice broke and he fell in...
There goes another. All these people, man, with one person in each car.
The city wants us to carpool, but nobody gives a shit.
If people carpooled, we'd be out of work.
Ah, bullshit!
How come that pig's got a wooden leg?
Well, says the farmer, about three months ago...
- Look at that car.. - ...I was out there walking the pig.
Hey, Budsky. There's your girlfriend.
Oh, those Rodriguez brothers, huh?
Okay, boys, we've got the whole team here tonight,
let's settle these motherfuckers' hash for good.
- Let's do it.. - (Whistles) Yo! Pull over.
Shit!
Don't lose him, man.
Hey! Hey! Take it easy.
Stop this fucking car.
Stop this fucking thing.
Hey, come on.
Shit!
Motherfucker! Come on!
Come on, motherfucker, yeah, come on! What are you waiting for?
Motherfucker, I'll kick your fucking ass. Come on!
Come on! Come on! What are you going to do with that bat?
Motherfucker!
- What? - Hey, hey, hey...
Too bad, Bud. This is going to cost you plenty.
What do you mean, cost me plenty?
How's your neck, Napoleon?
Oh, my neck? Yeah! Oh! Shit!
Oh, shit. My neck is killing me, man. I think I got whiplash.
Besides the whiplash, this isn't a repo car.
Bullshit! I got the fucking papers on it.
We paid it off.
You see, this is our favourite car.
That's right. You got insurance, motherfucker?
Come on, cocksucker!
Whose side are you on for Christ's sake?
Goddamn it!
Shit! This is bullshit, Oly.
Yeah, that's what I said when the marshal woke me up
at 4:00 this morning.
Unfortunately it isn't bullshit, it's a summons.
Well, bullshit. You should have refused to accept it.
Have you read it?
The goddamn Rodriguez brothers are suing us for malicious damage,
medical expenses and harassment for a car they fucking own.
The Rodriguez brothers are...
You believe the fucking Rodriguez brothers?
They're a couple of scumbags, Oly. You know them.
I know that, Bud. But we've got to sit down and get our stories straight.
Bullshit, you're taking their word against mine.
I was there, remember?
Why don't you go home?
Take the rest of the week off.
Take the rest of the... I can't take the fucking rest...
Oh... Yeah, I get it! Uh-huh.
Take the rest of the week off, Budsky.
So you can get the fucking twenty thousand dollars for the Malibu.
- Make it a fucking month. - Yeah? Well, fuck you.
On second thoughts, Budsky.
Don't bother coming back at all.
Great! I'll come back and pick up my stuff later
when the fucking place don't stink so bad.
- Shut up!
Fucking trash.
Makes you wonder how much they owe.
Most of them are on the run.
Don't even use their fucking social security numbers.
If there was just some way to find out how much the motherfuckers owe
- and making 'em pay. - Jesus Christ, Bud.
They're winos, they don't have any money.
You think they'd be bums if they did?
- You want out? Do you? - No!
What's the matter with you?
Don't you like your job any more? Not too happy in your job?
I mean I feel like we're not communicating any more.
When we first started out I thought I could teach you something,
share something with you, for Christ's sake.
Answer me!
'I'm picking up the dead.
'I'm putting my hands around this dead body.
'I'm... I'm carrying his limp torso to the truck, and...
'He feels like he's... he's only been dead a little while, but...'
♪ Oh, dum de...
J Frank Parnell.
Ott, Ott...
You ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?
No.
Ever been to Utah?
Sir.
I represent the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation.
Radiation, yes indeed!
You hear the most outrageous lies about it.
Half-baked goggle-boxed do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you.
Pernicious nonsense!
Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year.
They ought to have 'em too.
When they cancelled the project it almost did me in.
One day my mind was literally bursting.
The next day nothing.
Swept away...
But I'll show them.
- I had a lobotomy in the end. - Lobotomy?
- Isn't that for loonies? - Not at all.
A friend of mine had one.
Designer of the neutron bomb.
Ever hear of the neutron bomb?
Destroys people.
Leaves buildings standing.
It fits in a suitcase.
It's so small no one knows it's there until blammo.
Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead.
It's so immoral, working on the thing can drive you mad.
That's what happened to this friend of mine.
So he had a lobotomy.
Now he's well again.
What kind of car does your...
...does your friend drive?
Chevy Malibu.
This is really a nice old car.
- Why don't you let me drive? - What do you mean?
Well, I don't know. I mean...
- Don't you feel funny? - Why should I feel funny?
The two hemispheres are fundamentally at odds.
Hemisphere, hemisphere.
You know it's strange. I do feel funny...
Ah...
Here's the young new-waver we've all heard so much about.
My old man had a mohawk when I met him.
He was in the service then.
He was such a monster. I used to have to tell him no.
My old man was exactly the same way.
Till we got married.
Hey, Oly.. Your wife's hanging all over Otto.
Yeah. Like flies on shit.
Um. Have you seen Bud anywhere?
Who?
Hey, Ace. Wait up.
So, you want to talk about it?
Talk about what, kid?
- Why you're so damn mad at me. - I'm not mad at you. God damn.
- I'm not. I'm not mad at you. - All right, okay.
- Debbi?? - What?
I've been thinking.
Now that we've got some money
and Archie's gone...
...don't you think it's time we settled down?
Get a little house.
I want you to have my baby.
Why?
Well, I don't know.
Everybody does it.
And it just seems like the thing to do and...
Arsehole!
Let's go do the job.
Duke! Debbi! What are you guys doing here?
- What's it look like, Ace? - Up against the wall.
I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill everybody. (Laughs)
Drop it, motherfucker!
Ow, shit!
Debbi...
Ah...
Ah, do you, uh...
Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved?
I think a little.
Wait! Wait! Stick with me. I'll make you a repo wife.
Bollocks.
Here.
- Otto? - Yeah, I'm here, man.
The lights are growing dim.
I know a life of crime led me to this sorry fate.
And yet...
...I blame society.
Society made me what I am.
That's bullshit.
You're a white suburban punk, just like me.
But it still hurts.
You're going to be all right, man.
Maybe not.
Yep he's dead all right.
- No doubt about it. - He's a goner.
Man.
Look. Booth's setting him on fire.
Where's the car, baby?
That Chevy Malibu, baby.
Where's the car?
- Otto! - Jeez.
- You'd better stay out of this. - Why?
It's none of your business. You want to be a hero?
- Or rather be a chicken man? - What?
A chicken man. Did you ever see a farmer's wife? Huh?
Let go of me!
It's peaceful, man.
The Malibu.
Yeah?
- Let's go - No way, Marlene.
My car's gone and we're going to get to the bottom of this.
Like hell we are.
Not in my face.
Hold it, Marlene. Freeze!
My face!
- Over my dead body. - That's how it's going to have to be.
Come and get me. Come on.
I've been wanting to do that one for a long time, honey.
Come on. Come on. Come on, if you think you're man enough.
Hey, Plettsch.
Coffee break.
Good evening, Otto.
This is agent Rogersz.
I'm going to ask you a few questions.
Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you.
But I want you to know it isn't personal.
'Look, ah... This isn't really necessary.
'I'll tell you anything you want to know.'
Good! Where is the Malibu?
'I don't know.
'Somebody ripped it from the yard.'
I don't think he knows.
- Increase the voltage. - But what if he's innocent?
No one is innocent. Proceed.
Ah, yes! Look at them.
High heels, hair nets, those ridiculous trench coats.
They're pathetic.
Agent Rogersz, they're getting away.
It's all part of the plan.
- Someone help me.. - Otto!
Otto, pull yourself together.
Marlene?
What's going on?
We're going to the hospital.
'Dr Benway to surgery.'
Hey, I know you.
You're the one that ran into my trash.
- Shh! - Shh to you too.
'Visiting hours are now over.
'Thank you for your assistance.'
Out of order.
Take the stairs.
'Mr Lee. Mr Lee.
'Please return the scalpel. Mr Lee.
Otto?
- They're going through it all the time. - Let me see that.
- All wrong. Do it over. - And they won't pick it up.
Oh, well isn't that a shame?
I tell you, it comes to something when they expect you to pick it up.
How are you doing, man?
Ask him about the Malibu.
Look, about the other night.
I'm sorry I split.
I know I should have stayed with you, but ah...
It's like when I was a kid, you know, I had this set of big wheels you know.
Otto!
'Please be quiet in the stairwells.
'Please be quiet in the stairwells.'
'A very sad unchristian thing just happened.
'A sweet old lady's car was stolen.
'It's a Chevy Malibu.
'Brothers and sisters.
'Please, if you've seen this car,
'just call this toll free number.'
- Shit. - 'Praise the lord.'
Go, go, go!
Come on. Go!
- Ow!
Dude, slow down.
Stop!
All right, don't shoot! Come on, all right, all right...
Chicken shits. (Clucks)
Where's the Malibu?
Don't even ask, because I don't know.
I mean, I don't have it, Marlene doesn't have it,
you and your crazy friends don't have it.
So that only leaves...
Where is he?
Where the fuck is he?
'He is risen, Holy Jesus' name.'
- Later! - Bye-bye.
'Here's another weird one.
'Reports are coming in about apparent hail of ice cubes south of downtown.
'Scientists are at a loss to explain the freak showers of tiny cubes of ice.'
That's some weird fucking shit. Eh, Bud?
- What's going on, man? - Shit.
Eleven years of repoing cars and what have I got?
Shit.
Bud, listen to me.
You're sitting in a car worth twenty thousand dollars.
Look, we turn it in, we take the money,
and split it sixty-forty, you and me.
Who gets the sixty, kid?
Well, I don't know. I figured since I found the car first that, uh...
...you'd get it.
'Get away from the car.
'This is your only warning.'
We got problems, man.
No, no, no... Wait!
Stop fucking around, man!
Only an asshole gets killed over a car.
You calling me an asshole, punk?
Yeah, I'm calling you an asshole.
Come and get me, copper.
I'm well armed and I know where you live.
Son of a fucking bitch.
I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees.
Come on, out!
Come on, you fucking popsicles, let's get that car.
Hey Oly! Look at Bud?
We'll tow it to a cliff and drive it off.
I have the papers on this car. You guys want a beer?
- Hey Bud, want a beer? - No, a cigarette.
- No beer is needed here. - Hey, what...
'Approaching the car. I'm encountering a strange eerie kind of force field.
'I don't know what it is. It's... it's...'
Come on, you popsicles.
God, I love this job.
Linear and inverse vectors merge in zero.
This way, your holiness.
It's more than a job, it's... It's a calling.
- Critical mass is at a point of zero. - Why, you can say spiritual.
Spiritual?
Holy sheep shit!
'Get back, get back.'
Get back in there or you don't get paid.
Have you read this book?
Dioretix.
- Chapter seven. Verse three. - I've got it marked.
Miller, what are you doing?
I'm going for a little spin.
But you don't know how to drive.
Otto, don't go.
What about our relationship?
What?
What about our relationship?
Fuck that.
You shithead!
I'm glad I tortured you! How can you leave me?
I'm the one who's supposed to be in that car.
Best goddamned car in the yard.
Wow!
This is intense.
The life of a repo man is always intense.
IGGY POP: "Repo Man"
♪ I was riding on a concrete slab
♪ Down a river of useless land
♪ It was such a beautiful day
♪ I heard a witchdoctor say
♪Why don't we send in the wrappers
♪ I'm looking for the joke with a microscope
♪ My muscle's twitching on those words
♪You want to speak, you lose your nerve
♪ Infinity throws you a curve
♪ Dumps you in shit you don't deserve
♪As life roars by you in a blur
♪ Leaves you murmuring a dirty word
♪A page out of a comic book
♪A chicken hanging on a hook
♪A reverie, a babbling brook
♪A sermonette, a TV cook
♪ Shaking my hand at your fake head
♪A suicide, a certain look
♪ I was a teenaged dinosaur
♪ Stoned and obsolete
♪ I didn't get fucked and I didn't get kissed
♪ I got so fucking pissed
♪ Using my head for an ashtray
♪ Now I tell you who I am
♪ I'm a repo man
♪ Repo, repo, repo, repo, repo man
♪ I'm a repo, repo, repo, repo, repo man
♪ Repo, repo, repo... repo man