It's true what they say, Jessica.
A skipper's first love is his ship.
[Jessica] Tonight, on Murder, She Wrote.
Dennis Stanton!
As far as the law goes, I'm it.
And quite clearly, we're on a ship of thieves.
Jessica, you know, that could roughly be half the people on this ship.
Now you got J.B. Fletcher on our case.
You really are into cruising, aren't you, Mr. Brinegar?
-All I'm asking you is if you-- -Molly! Listen!
-I wasn't following her. [Jessica] Mysterious criminal, Amber.
Never point a gun at someone you don't intend to kill.
[cheerful orchestral music]
[bell clanging]
[cat yowling]
[engine revving]
Agnes Lowry?
Yes.
I'm the one who left you the message.
You alone?
As promised. My boss guarantees you immunity.
But I've gotta be on that boat
first thing in the morning knowing who the courier is.
You were gonna have that in writing.
I do.
After all these years,
somehow I thought Amber would be older.
Well, you must come up against a lot of surprises
in your business.
[gunshot] [groans]
Join your fellow shipmates on deck
as we make ready to cast the lines.
Welcome aboard, Mrs. Fletcher.
Your luggage will be in your stateroom, number 805,
located on the promenade deck.
Happy cruise, Mrs. Fletcher.
Thank you very much, and bon voyage to you.
[woman chattering on PA]
Thank you.
Welcome aboard, miss Lowry.
Your luggage will be located in your stateroom,
number 911, located on the promenade deck.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
[woman on PA] Lunchtime melodies!
Enjoy a free lunch and drinks...
Jessica Beatrice McGill.
I can't believe my eyes.
Oh, Jess. It is you, isn't it?
Leslie Hunter?
Yes!
Oh, goodness!
Honestly, you haven't changed that much at all,
and it's been, what, 30 years?
Bar Harbor. You were on your way to Europe.
That's right, with the Italian boy.
-Yes. -Lorenzo.
Mmm, a misfire.
There were a lot of them, I'm afraid.
And then you went into the travel business, I think.
Mmm-hmm. And you married.
I know, because your name changed to Fletcher.
See? I've even read some of your books and enjoyed them.
Are you alone?
Yes, intentionally.
I managed to finish the first draft of
my new novel ahead of schedule,
so my editor gave me this trip as a reward.
He thought I needed to pay attention
to my inner being for a while.
Well, look, Jess,
there's someone that I really want you to meet.
Oh, we've got plenty of time for that, Leslie.
Oh, not right this minute. He happens to be the,
um, skipper on this tub,
and he's throwing a little party for the "in" group.
Please, Jess, it is kind of special.
Well...
Great. I will pick you up at 5:30. Ciao!
[woman on PA] A great gaming school! Come on in and learn...
Knock, Mr. Worthington, with two points.
Is it because you're so doggone pretty, miss Peale,
that the cards come to you like that?
It's just my lucky day, Mr. Worthington.
Tomorrow'll be yours.
It's your play, Mr. Worthington.
Step and down and up and down.
Champagne, compliments of Captain O'Neil?
No, thanks.
Miss, champagne, compliments of Captain O'Neil?
[glass shattering]
-Oh, I'm so sorry... -Hey, hey, just leave it alone.
-Don't even bother. -Lance, he didn't mean to do it.
Where do they hire you people, anyway?
For God's sake, Lance, stop it.
You're gonna lose this guy his job.
Janet, Janet?
It's Roland Devereux, remember?
No. Why should I?
Wait a minute.
Miramar hotel, Buffalo, three years ago?
Didn't you hear me? Shove off.
That was your last year, when we roomed together.
And you took marathon showers and used all the hot water,
and the girls always blamed me, you know.
I never!
An orgiastic 20, 25 minutes in the shower
still isn't too long, is it?
Oh, thanks a lot!
Leslie tells me you're planning to retire
after this trip, Captain O'Neil.
Won't you miss the sea?
I'm not so sure about that, Mrs. Fletcher.
I never grew so attached to a ship
as I have The Lady Wellington.
Ten years in the Caribbean.
You don't get duty any cushier than that.
It's true what they say, Jessica.
A skipper's first love is his ship.
When we get back, she'll be refitted
so she can compete with the newer cruise ships.
As you can see, she's got all the technology.
Computer link to the main frame in Miami, fax, modem...
Captain, over here.
Excuse us, Mrs. Fletcher.
[sighs]
J.B. Fletcher is represented in the ship's library
by two recent hardbacks,
both of which I've read. Twice.
Dennis?
Ah!
What in heaven's name are you doing here?
If I didn't know you quite as well as I do,
I'd consider that an impolite question.
-As if a retired gentleman... -Retired?
...erstwhile insurance investigator,
has no right to relax on a Caribbean cruise
on the same boat as the rich and famous.
Yes, I am on an extended vacation.
What are you doing here?
I'm unwinding between drafts.
[laughing] Of course I am.
By the way,
if you're still drawing characters from life,
you'll find Alma Sobel and son Marvin
very tempting subjects.
If I was still in the business,
Mrs. Sobel could be an insurance investigator's nightmare.
Oh, why do you say that?
Just pray you don't find out.
[knocking on door]
We're here for the Captain's reception.
Oh, I'm sorry, this is the powder room.
Uh, the Captain's entrance is that way.
Very sorry.
You're welcome.
All right, Jess, on a scale from one to ten?
Now, Leslie, don't put me on the spot.
Please. My Captain Rory?
Well, he seems intelligent, he certainly has feeling,
and he's undeniably attractive.
And?
Look, if you're asking me for an endorsement,
you must be uncertain in your own mind.
Well, he's-he's bought this big old ranch
outside of Carmel in northern California.
He's changing the main house into a bed and breakfast.
And over the years,
he's collected a lot of antiques to decorate the place.
He's having a bunch of them brought on board
this week in old town.
Every room's gonna have its own distinctive style,
and he's...
he's gonna raise Weimaraners and cultivate roses.
Well, good Lord, Leslie.
I mean, you can't do any better than that.
We've been seeing each other for a year, Jess,
and it is very serious, but, uh,
but he hasn't asked me to be any part of it.
Everybody gets to guess the exact time The Lady Wellington
crosses the 25th parallel tomorrow night.
So write your name and cabin number,
and take a wild guess.
Sometime between 9:30 and 10:30,
but it's gotta be to the minute.
You know, when Marv Senior and I
crossed during our honeymoon,
well, a wonderful older gentleman of 86 years old,
he won this prize.
Then he keeled over and dropped dead.
Oh, mom, for goodness sakes.
Well, it's true.
You know, at first, everybody kind of thought
it was the excitement of his winning.
Then they said, no,
maybe it's because he has a new bride, 29 years old.
[laughter]
Leslie, I'm going to try and catch 30 or 40 winks
before dinner.
All right, Jess.
Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Sobel.
I think that's my pen.
Oh?
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher, you've made a mistake.
You have a pen just like this one.
I know, because it's my favorite pen, too.
Ta-ta, ladies. Come on, Sonny.
Time to go get dressed for din-din.
[groans]
Ship operator.
Security, please.
[upbeat music]
Hey.
Would you like to go dance?
Uh, let me get a drink first, okay?
May I help you?
-I need a beer. -Yes, Sir.
Hi.
Hello.
You all alone, a pretty woman like you?
You really are into cruising, aren't you, Mr. Brinegar?
How do you know my name?
Is that your wife?
No. Just somebody I'm with.
Mmm. Then maybe we will be seeing
more of each other.
Room 911.
Well, whoever it was, was as bold as brass.
I'm not even sure whether it was a man or a woman,
they left so quickly.
But I've been through everything very carefully,
and all they took was
a pair of gold earrings.
Well, thank goodness for that.
Thank goodness for what?
I mean, value's not the point.
They just happened to be a gift from my late husband.
Oh, shoot. I'm sorry, Mrs. Fletcher.
So they weren't the crown jewels.
But from the standpoint of sentimental value,
they were worth a great deal more.
Yes. Uh, Mr. Polachek, you're a steward.
I thought I called security.
You're looking at him, Mrs. Fletcher.
The official security guy's in the infirmary. Sea sick.
Captain O'Neil gave me the temporary assignment.
I see.
Well, I'm sure you'll do your best.
Count on it, Mrs. Fletcher.
Excuse me.
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher?
Oh, Mr. Sobel. Come in.
Oh, thank you, I can't stay.
I just wanted to drop this by.
I think it belongs to you.
Yes, it's mine.
Oh, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience.
[sighs]
My mother has this problem when it comes to small,
glittery little keepsakes.
It's called kleptomania.
-I see. -It doesn't make much sense.
We've seen psychiatrists and all that,
and they know less about it than I do, so...
Mr. Sobel, I think I understand your problem.
Thank you for your trouble.
Oh, no, it's no trouble, Mrs. Fletcher.
I watch my mom closely and try to return what I can.
Wow.
Fashions from around the world.
[gasps]
What the hell are you doing?
The earrings, Diana.
Eighteen carat gold, Rolly.
What's the matter with that?
I did like we always do.
It's gonna screw things up, is what's the matter.
I'm onto something big this time.
And you're worried that a crummy pair of earrings
is going to get in the way?
It's not the earrings, airhead,
it's who they belong to.
Don't you understand?
Now you've got J.B. Fletcher on our case.
The lnternational Showboat Lounge presents
the master of Merlin's art, Roland Devereux.
[applause]
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
I am going to psychometrically read one of you
through an object I am holding in my hand.
There is an attractive lady in a hot pink outfit,
seated at table three.
I am reading her vibrations.
She has lost something of value,
but it will be returned to her.
[audience gasps]
The vibrations tell me that this lady
is a writer of mysteries,
but even she cannot fathom the arcane secrets
of Merlin's art.
[applause]
Cheers.
Yes, isn't he fantastic?
Roland Devereux!
The Lady Wellington now invites you to dance
with Brandon Boyle and his big band of swing.
Oh, my goodness, what beautiful earrings!
Wow!
Would you care to dance?
Oh, no thank you, Dennis. I've been on my feet all day.
I will take you up on some fresh air, though.
Good idea.
I think that Roland's so-called psychometric talents
are nothing more than a good memory for the details
he picks up from personal articles.
Oh, easier than that.
He read all about you in the ship's newsletter
under "celebrity guests."
They must have published the number of my estate room, too.
Someone should land heavily on them for that.
Jessica, when you look at me like that, either I got the wrong necktie on, or...
All right, Dennis. Now, look,
we've only been at sea for a day, and already
my pen and a pair of earrings have been stolen.
Granted, they've been returned.
Clearly, we're on a ship of thieves
and I think you know a great deal more about it than you're letting on.
Jessica, that's not very nice.
Dennis, I mean, you're simply not yourself.
Look at your clothes.
Dennis Stanton is a Savile Row man,
not a Rainsey of Florence.
I mean, nothing about you rings true,
and don't tell me that you're on a holiday cruise.
And if you don't want to advertise
that shoulder holster you're wearing,
I suggest that you wear something more substantial
than that lightweight suit.
You're absolutely right.
You see before you the chief of security
for the Duchess line.
[laughing]
Now, that I can believe.
[laughter]
Insurance investigations got to be something of a bore.
I had a sudden yen to travel, and then this job popped up.
The work is minimal,
but it enables me to live in a manner to which
I've grown accustomed, beyond my means.
You always seem to be able to carry that off quite handsomely.
Tell me, what is the chief of security doing
on the last voyage of The lady Wellington?
Nostalgia, perhaps?
I read about a Caribbean money laundering scheme,
a mysterious criminal,
Amber, who managed to escape an FBI dragnet three years ago.
Jessica, my assignment is infinitely more prosaic.
We watch for passengers who prey on others.
Now, for instance,
if I were to pick someone to keep an eye on,
it would be that young man over there.
You mean he's on your list?
Mmm. Implicated numerous times,
but never apprehended.
Oh, he's very bright.
He could have done a lot more with his life.
I don't think the young lady
will be wearing that splendid diamond pendant
too much longer.
[chuckling]
Ladies and gentlemen, reporting from the bridge,
we are now approaching the Grand Cayman island.
Sorry I had to let myself in,
but you didn't answer any of my notes or phone calls.
What do you want, Roland?
She remembers my name.
Whatever you're fixing to do, I want a piece of it.
And what is it you think I'm fixing to do?
Well, I hear there's a bunch of drug money hidden
someplace down this way.
Everybody's coming after it.
Now, you're using an alias,
meaning to me you know what you're doing.
And if it's as big as I hear,
I expect there's enough to go around.
Or else what?
Or else, I go to whoever's running this rust bucket,
and tell 'em miss Lowry ain't miss Lowry,
and that I remember her from Buffalo three years ago,
where she was scamming an old duffer
out of his life savings.
And you'll neglect to mention
you were running a con on the very same ,ark.
You think I'm gonna kill you?
You caught me in a good mood, Roland.
I'm gonna let you in.
Here's how it's gonna go.
I can't tell you anything.
You're gonna have to trust me.
When it's going down, you'll know.
And you'll get yours.
You haven't forgotten
how we resolved our differences in Buffalo?
Attention, everyone, a guided tour of old town
at the turtle farm
will be leaving in exactly half an hour.
Don't be late!
Rory had an early morning appointment
with his bank in old town.
You know, he should be back by now.
Look, you go on to breakfast, Jessica.
I'm going to-- I'm going to surprise him.
Will I meet you in old town?
When you finish with breakfast,
why don't you meet me back here,
and we'll leave together.
Good.
Afternoon bingo. The jackpot is now $1,100.
[indistinct arguing]
...cruise staff call out the lucky numbers.
See you in the international show lounge.
That's on promenade deck 7.
Everything all right, Molly?
Oh, I guess.
Are you going into old town?
Yes. I think.
Do you believe in kismet, Mrs. Fletcher?
You mean that magic something?
No. No, for my money,
relationships don't just happen.
Why do you ask?
I thought it was kismet with Lance and me.
We decided to get married, and I wanted a honeymoon cruise,
and Lance said great,
but let's make sure the chemistry's right.
We'll get married after the cruise.
That way, this is my treat, and the honeymoon's his.
Well, that's okay, too.
What I mind, is this big attitude change.
It's not like it's the money.
I mean, goodness knows, this ship is cut-rate,
seeing how old the boat is and how bad the service is.
More coffee, ladies?
Oh, no.
Don't apologize.
I know the boat is falling apart,
and I'm not exactly a world-class steward,
but then, it's not like this is my goal in life, either.
Oh, I'm sorry!
The shipment can be here no later than 3:00, Philippe.
We weigh anchor at 5:30.
Hello, Captain.
Ah, Mrs. Fletcher. Leslie will be right back.
This is Philippe Duval,
the gentleman who's rounded up most of the antiques
I'm taking to California.
Philippe, meet J.B. Fletcher.
How do you do?
Pleasure, madam.
I had the pleasure this morning of closing down
my old town bank account.
This check finishes the process.
Many thanks, old friend.
And long life, Captain.
-And good luck. -Au revoir.
Well, I've timed that perfectly.
Now, I think that this Captain
should take these two unattached females to lunch in old town.
Captain?
I don't think I have any choice.
Ladies?
Hi, it's Wendy, with today's photo tip.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, no, it was my fault.
I wasn't looking where I was going.
Doesn't this strike you as odd?
What?
I'm frequently talking to you from the floor.
Oh, you...
I spilled coffee all over your table this morning.
Your ever-faithful steward, Philip Polachek.
I'm so sorry. I feel terrible.
Don't.
Look, uh, I don't see Mr. Brinegar,
and I'm really hungry.
I'd like to take you to lunch, miss Altrip.
No. I mean, you don't take me.
I take you.
Lance was supposed to meet me an hour ago.
I'll be right out, Lance.
You make a habit of that?
Your mama teach you to go through a girl's things
when she's out of the room?
[cocks gun]
Never point a gun at someone you don't intend to kill.
Oh.
Have you killed with it?
Yes.
Get outta here.
Then don't ask.
Then why'd you keep it?
To protect myself from predators
and fools.
[chuckles]
It seems we have a lot in common.
We both like to live dangerously.
[laughs]
Honey, you don't know what dangerous is.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sammy Goldstein!
♪ My favorite girl is from Czechoslovakia ♪
♪ And I really must confess ♪
♪ I took her home to meet my folks ♪
♪ But my folks don't accept Czechs ♪
[laughter]
Well, there's one girl I appreciated,
and, uh, I wanted to buy this girl a ring,
so I asked her what her ring size was.
She said, "two and a half carats."
[laughter]
I left my medication in the cabin.
I'll be right back.
Okay, hon.
Ooh, and Marvin, on the way back,
could you pop into the pantry
and find me one of those delicious eclairs
with the gloppy, goopy centers?
-Sure, mom. -Okay, thanks.
Call for you, miss Lowry.
Thank you.
Hello?
Sounds good to me. Of course.
I'll be there. Count on it.
Oh, look over there!
There's a passenger over there that looks
just like Lon Chaney.
-I'll be right back. -Oh, I'm so sorry, madam.
Aw.
Ladies and gentlemen, the bridge reports
that we are now crossing the 25th parallel.
[passengers cheering]
We'll give the crew a few minutes
to go through the contest cards,
and then Sammy Goldstein will announce the winner
of the 25th parallel crossing contest
in the showboat lounge. Good luck, everyone.
[clanking]
[groans]
[gunshot blasts]
Folks, folks. Our winners. The best guess came within one minute.
It's our charming anniversary couple from Redbank, New Jersey.
Let's hear it!
They stole our hearts last night
with their wonderful, wonderful tango,
and tonight they steal the prize,
guessing within one minute!
Give them a round of applause again.
Very funny.
You know, darling,
suddenly, I'm not the least bit hungry.
Mmm?
Could we eat later? Hmm?
Oh, my God.
Three witnesses will testify to seeing you running
from the forward hold where the woman's body
was found a few minutes after 10:00 last night.
And that means I killed her? So I followed Janet down?
I lost her in the dark.
I heard a shot, I got the hell out.
Who's Janet? Her name was Lowry, Agnes Lowry.
How the hell should I know?
She called herself Janet back in Buffalo three years ago.
Did she have a last name?
Not that I know of.
Why did you follow her down last night?
We had business to discuss.
What business?
What are you, a cop or something?
Where do you get off asking me all these questions, Stanton?
Who's the law around here, Captain?
Listen to the man, Devereux.
At the moment, you are on the high seas,
outside any recognizable jurisdiction.
As far as the law goes, Devereux, I'm it.
Now, what was your business with the woman?
She said she was onto a big score.
I wanted a piece of it.
She said okay, but to back away.
It was something major.
So I backed off.
Last night, I wanted to talk to her,
keep the deal warm, that's all.
Did she tell you the nature of this score?
Not a word.
You're a splendid magician, Devereux.
It's a pity that's not enough for you.
You'll answer to the Miami police when we go ashore
about your involvement with Mrs. Fletcher's earrings,
if nothing else.
She got 'em back, didn't she?
So what do you want, a medal of honor?
Go on, get out of here.
What was your opinion of the deceased, Captain?
Agnes Lowry?
Zero, I'm afraid.
I never got to meet the lady.
You might try talking to Mrs. Fletcher, though.
Leslie tells me they sat at adjacent tables.
Ah.
Trapshooting at sea...
It was probably Devereux's assistant,
Diana Peale, who lifted your earrings,
but it would be difficult to prove at this point.
Help me out, Jess.
The ship's doctor has established
that Lowry was struck over the head,
rendering her unconscious but not dead.
After which, she was shot in the head
with a .40 caliber automatic,
which was found lying beside the body.
Her watch was broken when she fell.
It stopped at 10:02.
Well, all I can say is this.
Shortly before she left her table last night,
the steward brought her the telephone.
She took a call, and then she left.
Now, who was she, Dennis?
Was it Agnes Lowry, or Janet somebody?
Ah.
We have got Agnes Lowry's social security card.
I faxed that and the photo of the victim to New York.
Let's see what they come up with.
[knock on door]
Excuse me, Mrs. Fletcher.
This just came in, Mr. Stanton.
Thank you.
By the way, we're missing the lady's diamond pendant.
I think you'll know where we'll find that.
Molly Altrip's young man?
Oh, dear...
I mean, Dennis, theft is one thing, but murder?
Molly Altrip may have to confront a romantic delusion.
This is a confirmation from the NCIC on the mainland.
We have Lance Brinegar's fingerprints
all over Lowry's cabin
and the gun that killed her.
You wouldn't mind if Molly and I had a little chat
with Mr. Brinegar, would you?
I didn't murder anybody.
I told 'em the truth,
how my prints got into her cabin and onto her gun, everything.
You remember, Mrs. Fletcher.
I left that table, what, just before 10:00,
about the time of all that noise
when we crossed the 25th parallel.
Mrs. Lowry, she'd gone off someplace.
Why did you follow her, Lance?
I wasn't following her.
Did you and she...?
Does it matter at this point?
Yes, it matters, Lance... to me.
-All I'm asking you, is if you-- -Molly! Listen!
I wasn't following her. I went to her cabin.
I was after the diamond pendant. I...
[sighs]
We needed it.
We needed it if we're gonna have that honeymoon
that I promised you.
Oh, that's great, you know?
The minute the going gets rough--
Mr. Brinegar, Lance,
how did your prints get on the murder weapon?
We were fooling around.
I picked it up.
I remember it smelled like it'd just been fired.
Now, I hear you're pretty good
at this kind of thing, Mrs. Fletcher,
and whatever they're telling you, I'm innocent.
Help me out here, will you?
Molly, all she thinks about is herself.
Open house bridge visit.
You are invited to the bridge...
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher!
Oh, forgive me for shouting,
but I've been looking all over for you.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm afraid I have to apologize again for my mom.
-Oh, why, Marvin? -Well, I was doing my usual,
you know, damage control this morning,
and I spotted this in mom's handbag.
I went to the purser's and checked the passenger list
for someone with those initials,
and believe it or not, you seem to be the only one on board.
Well, I appreciate your thought, Marvin,
but this is not mine.
It's not?
No, I suggest that you check the passenger list again.
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
It's not always easy,
but I do try to return things.
Well, good luck.
Oh, Mrs. Fletcher,
this terrible murder, it's very upsetting.
Are they getting anywhere with the investigation?
I'm not sure.
But I'll expect that we'll hear all about it when they do.
Jessica,
some interesting developments from the mainland.
A body was recovered from the waters
off Miami last night.
She's been identified as an undercover treasury agent
by the name of Agnes Lowry.
Oh, dear.
That raises further questions, doesn't it?
I'm expecting another fax from Miami.
Have you got a moment?
Yes, indeed.
Hmm.
It seems Agnes Lowry had set up a meeting
with someone they believe
was that mysterious Amber character you talked about.
Forensics in Miami came back with a probable match.
The bullet that killed Lowry
came from the same .40 caliber weapon
that killed our lady last night.
Do you want to bet that this Janet person was Amber?
But that's impossible.
Unless Roland was lying
when he said that he saw Janet in Buffalo three years ago.
Now, that was the time when Amber was in a shoot-out
in Los Angeles.
Maybe we're mistaken in assuming that Amber is a woman.
Well, one thing we can be certain of,
our victim's real name was Janet, just as Roland said.
Janet Fisk.
Where are you going?
There's something that I want to ask Mrs. Sobel.
You're up to something. What is it?
Well, when I know, you'll know, Dennis.
Look, Jess, it's all over the ship about Lance Brinegar.
But, you know, what I'd like to know is,
did he kill her because he thought she was Agnes Lowry,
or because he knew she was Janet Fisk?
Well, Brinegar may be a thief, Leslie,
but I don't think he's dumb.
Excuse me a moment.
Hello, operator?
Yes, would you please connect me with the Sobels' stateroom?
And I don't think he's a murderer.
The question is, did Agnes Lowry know
which one of our fellow passengers
was up to something illegal?
Jessica, you know,
that could roughly be half the people on this ship.
Exactly, which means someone, anyone,
might have had the incentive to kill Agnes Lowry.
They're not?
Oh, thank you, operator.
Oh, Jess.
Look, I'll see you at dinner.
It's your turn at the Captain's table.
Don't forget.
[sighs]
Oh, Marvin, I've been looking all over for you.
You know, I'd very much like to talk to your mother.
Oh, believe me, Mrs. Fletcher, so would I. I don't know where she's gone.
Did you check hairdressing and the massage salon?
Yeah, and Fingers and Toes and the bridge seminar.
I've got to call into the fashion clinic
and if she doesn't show up there, I'm really gonna be worried.
Well, in the meantime,
tell me some more about the cigarette lighter
that you showed me this morning.
Uh, the one with the initials J.F. on it?
Yes.
Do you have any idea
when your mother might have picked it up?
Well, it had to have been
between 8:00 and 9:00 yesterday morning,
'cause she didn't have it before then.
It had to have been after breakfast
and before we left for old town.
And do you know where she found it?
She told me in the Captain's cabin.
The Captain's cabin?
Yeah, she said the door was half open,
and the lighter was laying on the table so near
that all she had to do was just slip her hand inside.
Oh, thank you, Marvin.
Singles, singles!
All passengers traveling alone
are invited to meet the cruise staff
and make new friends.
That's in the adagio lounge on the promenade deck.
Good luck!
Dennis Stanton, please.
He's not?
Well, please tell him
that Jessica Fletcher was looking for him.
I have a message.
Couples are invited to renew their marriage vows
in the theater on deck 6.
I think that you'll find that it's all there,
Captain O'Neil.
Mrs. Fletcher, good Lord.
You gave me quite a scare.
I assume the substantial import duty on these pieces
will blind US customs to the possibility
that there's a fortune hidden inside.
Okay.
But I hardly think this is any business of yours.
Captain O'Neil,
Lance Brinegar may be a petty thief,
but he doesn't deserve
to become another victim of your operation.
Operation?
What the hell are you talking about?
Money laundering for a percentage.
Behind the protection of your uniform,
you've been carrying illegal drug profits
to off-shore accounts throughout the Caribbean.
Janet Fisk found out about it,
and it cost her her life.
I never even knew Janet Fisk.
That isn't true.
Sometime between 8:00 and 9:00 yesterday morning,
when most of the passengers
and the crew were either at breakfast or in old town,
Alma Sobel lifted miss Fisk's lighter from your cabin.
Janet Fisk must have been there at the time,
threatening exposure unless you cut her in
on your share of the proceeds?
I remind you, I was with Leslie
at precisely the time this Fisk woman was killed.
Yes, that's what you told Dennis Stanton.
You were at your work station,
and Leslie was in the shower.
You're saying I telephoned Janet Fisk
in the showboat lounge,
then left my quarters
while Leslie was taking one of her epic showers?
No, I don't believe you ever left your cabin,
Captain O'Neil.
I called Miami this evening,
and the Duchess Line's office
recorded your last computer entry last night
at 2159 hours.
But the woman known as Amber,
who you thought was in one of her marathon showers
at the time,
almost certainly did leave the cabin.
I'm sorry you had to come to that conclusion, Jessica.
Leslie, what?
For God's sake, tell her she's wrong.
No, it's true, Rory.
But nothing's changed.
It's taken you quite a while
to put aside all that nice, tax-free money.
You've got the bed and breakfast,
the roses, the dogs.
This late in the game,
we're not going to let Jessica take it all away from us.
[gun cocks]
I'm curious.
It was mostly remembering, Leslie,
remembering that Janet Fisk and Amber
couldn't be the same person,
and that somebody else had to have been present
when Janet Fisk threatened Captain O'Neil,
somebody who's personal interests were also threatened.
When I left you in the corridor yesterday morning,
you said you were going to surprise Rory.
When you finish with breakfast,
why don't you meet me back here,
and we'll leave together.
Good.
But you entered the service entrance
instead of the front,
which enabled you to overhear Janet Fisk
threaten Rory without being seen.
You could lose this whole ship.
Except a quirk of fate ruined everything for you.
Alma Sobel looked through the half-open door
and saw a pretty silvery thing,
Janet Fisk's lighter,
which by an odd accident had my initials on it.
How can this be?
Before last year, I didn't even know you existed.
I ran it, Rory,
lock, stock and barrel.
I ran you, darling.
I figured you were skimming over the years,
so when the feds busted my operation up there,
and I was left with nothing,
I came after you.
But I fell for you instead.
You sold me your dream, Rory.
It was supposed to be ours, wasn't it?
I hadn't decided yet.
For God's sake, put the gun away.
Well, it is decided, as of now.
Just go on upstairs, and leave us alone.
Leslie, no!
Leave, Rory.
-No! -Get out!
Please put the weapon down, miss Hunter.
Mr. Stanton didn't get your message,
but I happened to see you make the call.
Forgive the deception, Jess.
Philip is my second in command.
He was good enough to go undercover,
beneath his station, as it were.
Autograph session!
Comedian Sammy Goldstein
will be in the signature collection boutique
to autograph his tapes.
Jessica!
Oh, Jessica, here's my address.
Remember, you promised me a signed first edition
of your new book?
You'll have it, Alma.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, uh... your pen.
Actually, I think this pen belongs to you.
[chuckles]
Oh, arrivederci, and thanks.
Good-bye, Marvin.
Good-bye, Mrs. Fletcher.
Thinking how you'll adapt all of this
into a scintillating new book, Jess?
Hmm?
No, no, nothing like that, Dennis.
I was thinking about expectations, youthful dreams.
[Captain] On behalf of the staff and crew
of The Lady Wellington, thank you for sailing with us.