1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,070 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,600 YOU FIND ME DRESSED UP LIKE THE DINNER OF A DOG 3 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:37,604 IN ORDER TO BE THE BEST MAN AT THE WEDDING OF MONSIEUR LECLERC-- 4 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:41,107 THE GETAWAY DRIVER, TO MY WIFE'S MOTHER-- THE PAIN IN THE NECK. 5 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,109 THANK YOU FOR COMING. 6 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,112 THIS WHOLE CHARADE WAS ARRANGED 7 00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,114 SO THE RECEPTION CAN BE HELD IN A MARQUEE 8 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,116 AT THE BACK OF MY CAFE. 9 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,617 NICE TO SEE YOU. 10 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,621 THIS MARQUEE CONCEALS, WOULD YOU BELIEVE, 11 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,122 A COLLAPSIBLE BARRAGE BALLOON 12 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:59,125 WAITING INFLATED BY 12 CYLINDERS OF HELIUM 13 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,628 DISGUISED AS PRIZED VEGETABLE MARROWS FROM ALGERIA? 14 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:06,132 THE BRITISH AIRMEN ARE DISGUISED 15 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,633 SO THAT NO ONE WILL RECOGNIZE THEM. 16 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,136 ( grunting ) 17 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,640 JOLLY GOOD WEDDING! 18 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,643 BANG ON. 19 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:21,647 THE BRIDE AND THE GROOM HAVE JUST BEEN SIGNING THE REGISTER. 20 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,650 HERE THEY COME NOW. 21 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,659 WAKE UP, ERNEST! 22 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:36,162 MARROWS! MARROWS! WHO WOULD LIKE TO BUY ALGERIAN-- 23 00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:40,666 - SHUT UP! - MAMA, ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR HONEYMOON? 24 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:44,170 OH, I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT. 25 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:51,177 ( wailing ) 26 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:55,181 IS THIS ANY WAY TO TREAT A POOR OLD BRIDE? 27 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,687 PLEASE! OVER HERE! 28 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,690 CAN I HAVE THE FAMILY AGAINST THE CHURCH WALL, PLEASE? 29 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,191 BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING? 30 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:08,694 MONSIEUR ALFONSE WANTS YOU AGAINST THE CHURCH WALL, MAMA. 31 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,200 BUT IS THIS CUSTOMARY? 32 00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:25,211 THAT IS GOOD. 33 00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,713 CAN I HAVE THE BRIDESMAIDS BEHIND? 34 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,216 HURRY! 35 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,725 CAN THE BRIDEGROOM GET UP? 36 00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,226 ( grunts ) 37 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,232 MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 38 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,439 SMILE, PLEASE. 39 00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:59,945 THAT'S A SIMPLE RURAL SCENE. 40 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:04,450 AN EVERYDAY STORY OF SIMPLE COUNTRYFOLK. 41 00:03:04,450 --> 00:03:06,452 AND IF THEY DO NOT SURRENDER THE AIRMEN, 42 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:09,455 THE GENERAL WILL BLOW THEM ALL UP. 43 00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:12,958 WE COULD REFER THE MATTER TO A HIGHER AUTHORITY, 44 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,961 SO WE DO NOT CARRY THE CAN. 45 00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,463 QUITE RIGHT, GRUBER. 46 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:21,967 WE'LL SEE THAT GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN GETS THE MESSAGE. 47 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,970 THE GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN? 48 00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:27,974 THIS IS THE GENERAL WHO IS A BIT THIS WAY, THAT WAY? 49 00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:30,476 THAT IS THE ONE. 50 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:33,479 LIEUTENANT GRUBER WILL GIVE HIM THE MESSAGE. 51 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:41,987 IS EVERYBODY PREPARED? 52 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,991 OOH! HOLD TIGHT, ERNEST. 53 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:46,993 WE ARE ABOUT TO HIT THE COBBLES. 54 00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:48,494 YES YES YES. 55 00:03:48,494 --> 00:03:52,998 - FORWARD! - ( guests cheering ) 56 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,506 GOOD LUCK, MAMA! 57 00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,512 AW... 58 00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:09,515 WE SHOULD HAVE HAD AN OLD BOOT ON THE BACK. 59 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:12,518 YOU ALREADY HAVE AN OLD BOOT IN THE BED. 60 00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,529 ( pounds on door ) 61 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:26,032 WHO IS THIS? 62 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,535 IT IS I, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 63 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,537 GIVE THE PASSWORD. 64 00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:34,540 I DO NOT KNOW THE PASSWORD. 65 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,543 THEN STAY IN THE PASSAGE FOREVER. 66 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:40,045 ABRACADABRA! 67 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,055 DIB DIB DIB! 68 00:04:50,556 --> 00:04:53,058 WHY ARE YOU GOT UP IN THE MANNER OF A BOY SCOUT? 69 00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:56,062 IN ORDER TO ENTER THE GENERAL'S QUARTERS IN THE CHATEAU. 70 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:59,065 - IT IS BOB-A-JOB WEEK. - DID IT WORK? 71 00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:02,568 LIKE A DREAM. THE GENERAL FIRST ADMIRED MY WOGGLE, 72 00:05:02,568 --> 00:05:05,571 AND THEN HE TOLD ME TO CLEAN HIS MEDALS. 73 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:10,075 DURING THIS, I OBTAINED A MAP OF THE POSITION OF THE MINES 74 00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:13,579 WITH WHICH THE GENERAL IS ABOUT TO BLOW UP NOUVION. 75 00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:16,582 WELL DONE, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 76 00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,584 DID THE GENERAL REMEMBER THE SHILLING? 77 00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:21,086 I HAVE IT HERE. 78 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,588 GOOD. YOU MAY CONTRIBUTE IT 79 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:25,591 TO THE HOME FOR FALLEN GESTAPO GENTLEWOMEN. 80 00:05:26,592 --> 00:05:30,095 WHERE EXACTLY IS THIS HOME? 81 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:33,599 YOU DO NOT GET THAT INFORMATION FOR ONE SHILLING. 82 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,111 YOU WILL BE ALL RIGHT THERE, MAMA. 83 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,616 A BIT CRAMPED HERE. CAN WE NOT MOVE THIS CANVAS, PLEASE? 84 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:54,119 YOU FOOL! THAT CANVAS IS THE BARRAGE BALLOON! 85 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,622 BUT THERE IS NO ROOM FOR OUR FEET! 86 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:58,123 THAT IS BECAUSE UNDER THE TABLE 87 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,626 ARE 20 PRIZE-WINNING VEGETABLE MARROWS 88 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,628 WHICH CONTAIN THE HELIUM GAS CYLINDERS. 89 00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:06,632 MY GIRLS ARE EVEN NOW AT THIS MOMENT CONNECTING THEM ALL UP, 90 00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,134 SO THAT WITH THE TURN OF ONE VALVE, 91 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:12,138 THE BALLOON WILL INFLATE IN A MATTER OF SECONDS. 92 00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,640 - ( clattering ) - SHH! 93 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,144 SORRY. 94 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,146 HOW WILL THE AIRMEN TRAVEL? 95 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:23,649 A BASKET WILL BE BROUGHT IN TO TAKE IN THE RUBBISH AFTER THE RECEPTION. 96 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:27,653 THIS BASKET WILL BE ATTACHED BY FOUR ROPES TO THE BALLOON. 97 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:30,155 - PSST! - HAVE YOU FINISHED? 98 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,659 WE HAVE DONE OUR BEST. ALL THE MARROWS ARE CONNECTED TOGETHER. 99 00:06:33,659 --> 00:06:37,663 UNFORTUNATELY, SOME OF THE CONNECTIONS ARE IMPERIAL, 100 00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,164 AND THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN WHITWORTH. 101 00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,168 I DO NOT KNOW HOW WELL THEY WILL HOLD. 102 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,670 ( flatulence ) 103 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:48,674 ( high-pitched ) I'M GLAD THAT IS OVER! 104 00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:52,678 WHY IS SHE SPEAKING LIKE DONALD THE DUCK? 105 00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,680 SHE HAS INHALED THE HELIUM GAS. 106 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,682 IT TIGHTENS THE VOCAL CORDS. 107 00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,684 IS IT DANGEROUS? 108 00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,686 NOT IF YOU ARE AMONGST FRIENDS. 109 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,691 LOOK, THESE TWO ARE FAST ASLEEP. 110 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,192 CAN WE NOT ABANDON THIS FARCE 111 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,195 AND GO BACK INTO THE CAFE? 112 00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,197 NO, THE GERMANS ARE HERE. 113 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,699 THE WILL BE SUSPICIOUS IF WE DO NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT. 114 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:17,202 BESIDES WHICH, I AM NOT GOING TO WASTE ALL THESE SANDWICHES. 115 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,542 COLONEL, COME IN, SIT DOWN. 116 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,545 HOW HONORED WE ARE TO HAVE YOU WITH US. 117 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,047 THIS IS THE FIRST PEASANT WEDDING WE'VE ATTENDED. 118 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,549 HOW ARE THE BRIDE AND GROOM? 119 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:34,554 OH, LOOKING FORWARD TO A GOOD BLOWOUT, YOU KNOW. 120 00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,055 ( flatulence ) 121 00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,557 IT IS I, LECLERC. 122 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,063 RENE, WE MUST WARN YOU, THERE'S BEEN A SERIOUS DEVELOPMENT. 123 00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:48,067 THE GENERAL HAS HIDDEN A 500-LB BOMB 124 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,568 IN THE SEWER UNDER YOUR CAFE. 125 00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,571 YOU NO HAND-A BACK THE AIRMEN, 126 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,073 YOUR CAFE, HE GO POOF! 127 00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,575 I WILL MENTION THIS TO THE RESISTANCE... 128 00:07:56,576 --> 00:07:58,578 WHO, OF COURSE, I DO NOT KNOW. 129 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:05,084 EDITH, THERE IS A BOMB IN THE SEWER UNDER THE CAFE. 130 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:07,086 THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW. 131 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,587 - WHAT-- - QUICK. 132 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,090 YOU ARE THE BEST MAN. START THE SPEECHES. 133 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:14,093 - WHAT SPEECHES? - IT IS THE CUSTOM THAT YOU AS BEST MAN 134 00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:16,595 INTRODUCE THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE. 135 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,098 THAT WILL BE A GOOD TRICK. 136 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,602 HERE, I HAVE MADE A FEW NOTES. 137 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,604 GET UP AND SAY SOMETHING. 138 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,106 - WHAT? - ( tapping ) 139 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:29,108 AHEM, EH... 140 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:31,610 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 141 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,113 WELCOME TO THE WEDDING. 142 00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,614 THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. 143 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:39,619 I CANNOT INTRODUCE THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE ON THIS OCCASION 144 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:42,622 BECAUSE, UNFORTUNATELY, HE LOST HIS LIFE 145 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,624 DURING THE STORMING OF THE BASTILLE. 146 00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,127 GOOD HEAVENS, HOW OLD IS SHE? 147 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,130 I'M SORRY, I WILL READ THAT AGAIN. 148 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:55,634 HE LOST HIS LIFE IN A STORM OUTSIDE THE BASTILLE. 149 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:59,639 BUT I AM SURE THAT HIS HEART WOULD HAVE BEEN WARMED TODAY 150 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:03,142 TO SEE HIS ONLY DAUGHTER IN BED WITH THE MAN 151 00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:06,645 THAT SHE HAS CHOSEN TO SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE WITH. 152 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:10,650 - ( both snoring ) - SO LET US... 153 00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:14,153 LET US WISH THEM MANY WEEKS OF HAPPINESS. 154 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,158 I NOW CALL UPON THE BRIDEGROOM. 155 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,662 WAKE HIM UP. 156 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,165 ( gasps ) MARROWS? MARROWS? 157 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,666 WHO WILL BUY MY VEGETABLE MARROWS? 158 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,670 - SHUT UP. - YOU HAVE TO MAKE A SPEECH. 159 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:34,173 - EH, WHAT? - THANK THE BRIDESMAIDS. 160 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,175 WHY? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE? 161 00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,178 SAY HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE. 162 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,680 HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY-- 163 00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:44,183 THAT ONE HAS A MUSTACHE. 164 00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:49,188 NEVER MIND. CUT THE CAKE! 165 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,690 - OH. - ( grunting ) 166 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,697 - MONSIEUR. - OH YES, THANK YOU. 167 00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,700 RENE, I HAVE JUST BEEN DOWN TO THE CELLAR TO GET SOME WINE, 168 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:02,702 AND THERE WAS A BIG BOMB DOWN THERE. 169 00:10:02,702 --> 00:10:04,704 BUT THE COLONEL TOLD ME IT WAS IN THE SEWER. 170 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:07,206 WELL, IT IS IN THE CELLAR. 171 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:10,209 WE'LL COME AND INVESTIGATE AS SOON AS THEY HAVE CUT THE CAKE. 172 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,211 GIVE ME THE KNIFE. 173 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:15,214 FANNY, DO NOT CUT TOO DEEP! 174 00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:20,219 ( gas hissing ) 175 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,722 THE CYLINDERS ARE LEAKING! 176 00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,725 QUICK! GET UNDER THE TABLE AND TRY TO STOP IT! 177 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:28,227 UH... PLAY SOME MUSIC. 178 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:31,730 MONSIEUR ALFONSE, THE WEDDING SONG. 179 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:39,738 ♪ OH, HOW THEY DANCED ♪ 180 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:44,243 ♪ ON THE NIGHT THEY WERE WED ♪ 181 00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:47,746 ♪ THEY DANCED AND THEY DANCED... ♪ 182 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:51,751 ♪ THOUGH THEY BOTH WERE IN BED ♪ 183 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:55,755 ♪ THE NIGHT WAS IN BLOOM ♪ 184 00:10:55,755 --> 00:11:00,259 ( high-pitched ) ♪ THERE WERE STARS IN THE SKY... ♪ 185 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,261 ( high-pitched singing continues ) 186 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,290 ACCORDING TO YOUR MAP, VON SMALLHAUSEN, 187 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:35,294 ONE OF THE EXPLOSIVE DEVICES SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT HERE. 188 00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,296 I THINK I HAVE FOUND IT, HERR FLICK! 189 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,298 MY MY, WHAT A WHOPPER! 190 00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,800 IT MUST WEIGH HALF A TON! 191 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,803 IT IS A MARK NINE MINE! 192 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,806 IT IS IN THE GESTAPO HANDBOOK ON THE DIFFUSING OF EXPLOSIVES. 193 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:51,310 NOW... "BEHIND THE PANEL IS THE DETONATOR. 194 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,812 TO MAKE THE MINE SAFE, 195 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,315 FIRST REMOVE THE PANEL." 196 00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,317 ( ticking ) 197 00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,818 SOMETHING IS TICKING. 198 00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:03,322 THERE'S SOME WRITING ON THE BACK OF THE PANEL, HERR FLICK. 199 00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,824 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 200 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:10,830 "THE OPENING OF THIS DOOR ACTIVATES THE TIMING MECHANISM. 201 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:15,835 DISCONNECTION PROCEDURE MUST BE CARRIED OUT FORTHWITH." 202 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:18,838 TURN TO THE CHAPTER HEADED "DISCONNECTION PROCEDURE." 203 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:22,341 MARK NINE MINE-- AH! 204 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,843 HERE'S A MAP OF THE CIRCUIT. 205 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:30,349 IT IS HEADED "THREE-MINUTE FUSE." 206 00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:32,851 DOES THIS MEAN IT WILL EXPLODE IN THREE MINUTES, HERR FLICK? 207 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:36,355 QUITE POSSIBLY. YOU WILL FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. 208 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:40,359 YOU WILL ANNOUNCE EACH MOVE THAT YOU MAKE ON THIS MICROPHONE. 209 00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:44,363 I WILL LISTEN TO YOU AND TAKE NOTES FROM MY POSITION IN THE STREET. 210 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:49,368 SHOULD YOU MAKE AN ERROR, I WILL BE ABLE TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKE. 211 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,578 MY GOD! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF IT! 212 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:02,080 IT IS A BIG ONE. 213 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,583 ONE HERE AND ONE IN THE SEWER. 214 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,585 OH, THAT SETTLES IT. THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. 215 00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,587 I AM GOING TO GIVE THE AIRMEN UP. 216 00:13:08,587 --> 00:13:12,090 - I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT, RENE. - I WILL TELL THE COLONEL WHERE HE CAN FIND THEM-- 217 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,094 NO, IT MUST NEVER BE KNOWN THAT YOU HAVE BETRAYED THEM. 218 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:18,097 IT WOULD TARNISH YOUR REPUTATION AS HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 219 00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,599 YOU MUST MAKE AN ANONYMOUS TELEPHONE CALL. 220 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:24,102 YES, YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU GO BACK TO THE WEDDING BEFORE YOU ARE MISSED. 221 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,105 I WILL MAKE THE CALL. GO OUT THE BACK WAY. 222 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:39,117 OH HELLO, CLAUDETTE. 223 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:42,121 GET ME THE OFFICE OF GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN, WILL YOU? 224 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:49,127 UH, HELLO? IS THAT THE OFFICE OF GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN? 225 00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:52,631 EH, THIS IS AN ANONYMOUS PEASANT. 226 00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:54,633 PUT DOWN THAT PHONE! 227 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:58,136 THIS IS AN ANONYMOUS PEASANT WHO HAS GOT THE WRONG NUMBER. 228 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:01,140 - LOUISE! - RENE. 229 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,641 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 230 00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:05,143 I AM NOW IN CHARGE OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 231 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:07,146 ABBEYVILLE SUB-BRANCH, ACTION DIVISION. 232 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,648 WE'VE HEARD OF A THREAT TO BLOW UP YOUR TOWN, 233 00:14:09,648 --> 00:14:11,149 AND WE HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU. 234 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:13,652 WILL YOU PUT THAT GUN DOWN FOR A START? 235 00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:17,656 - OH, RENE! - OH, LOUISE! 236 00:14:17,656 --> 00:14:21,159 - OH, IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. - ( both moaning ) 237 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,663 OH, IT IS GOOD TO FEEL YOUR STRONG CHEEK AGAINST MY STRONG CHEEK. 238 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:28,667 OH, AND YOUR STRONG ARMS AROUND MY STRONG ARMS. 239 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:32,671 RUN YOUR STRONG FINGERS THROUGH MY STRONG HAIR. 240 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,176 I WOULD ASK YOU TO DO THE SAME THING, 241 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,679 BUT THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU WORE IT OUT. 242 00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:43,682 OH, RENE, HOW WELL I REMEMBER IT ALL. 243 00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:46,184 OH, IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY. 244 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,187 FEEDING YOU HAM SANDWICHES IN THE WARDROBE. 245 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:50,689 - HIDING FROM THE GERMANS. - AND THE WIFE. 246 00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:54,693 RENE, WE HAVE HEARD THAT GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN IS GOING TO BLOW UP NOUVION. 247 00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:57,195 - YEAH. - WE HAVE A PLAN, SO YOU NEED NOT WORRY. 248 00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,198 I AM A LITTLE BIT WORRIED. 249 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,200 THERE IS A BOMB IN THE SEWER UNDER THE CAFE 250 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,702 AND A 500-LB BOMB IN THE CELLAR JUST UNDER OUR FEET! 251 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:06,204 THE ONE IN THE CELLAR WAS PUT THERE BY MY PEOPLE. 252 00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:08,207 - WHAT ON EARTH FOR? - I CANNOT TELL YOU, 253 00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,709 BUT IT IS ALL PART OF THE PLAN. 254 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,711 EXCUSE ME, I MUST MAKE A PHONE CALL. 255 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,212 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 256 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:17,216 I'M RINGING THE INSURANCE COMPANY TO DOUBLE MY COVERAGE. 257 00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:21,220 DO THAT LATER. GET THE COLONEL IN HERE! 258 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:29,227 Von Smallhausen: I have removed the detonator 259 00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:32,231 so it cannot set off the main charge. 260 00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:34,733 I will now render the detonator harmless. 261 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,735 How much time do I have? 262 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:41,239 - 25 SECONDS. - Not very much, Herr Flick. 263 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,744 IT IS SURPRISING HOW TIME PASSES WHEN YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING YOURSELF. 264 00:15:45,744 --> 00:15:48,246 I WILL COUNT FOR YOU. 265 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,750 16, 15, 14-- 266 00:15:57,756 --> 00:16:00,759 IT WOULD SEEM THAT MY WATCH IS SLOW. 267 00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,267 - IS HE COMING? - YES, BUT LOOK, LOUISE, 268 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:11,770 I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE INVOLVING ME IN ALL THIS SKULLDUGGERY. 269 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,272 I AM JUST SIMPLE COWARD WHO WISHES TO LEAD A QUIET LIFE. 270 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:16,275 - ( footsteps ) - SHUT UP. I HEAR HIM COMING. 271 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,282 - RENE? - COLONEL. 272 00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,784 I'VE HAD A MESSAGE THAT YOU REQUIRE TO SEE ME URGENTLY. 273 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:29,287 HAVE YOU DECIDED TO TELL ME THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE BRITISH AIRMEN? 274 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,790 WELL, YES AND NO. 275 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:34,292 - PUT UP YOUR HANDS! - AGH! 276 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,795 RENE! YOU'VE BETRAYED ME! 277 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:40,298 WELL, IT WAS AT GUNPOINT, COLONEL. I DO NOT KNOW THESE PEOPLE. 278 00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,301 GET YOUR FAT HANDS ABOVE YOUR BALD HEAD! 279 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:48,807 I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT THEY ARE VERY RUDE! 280 00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,809 - SOMEBODY IS COMING! - HIDE HIDE HIDE. 281 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,815 - ( bell dings ) - QUICK! A LARGE COGNAC. 282 00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,822 TWO! TWO LARGE COGNACS. 283 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:05,824 - PUT UP YOUR HANDS! - ( gasps ) 284 00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:09,327 TROUBLES NEVER COME SINGLY! 285 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:12,831 SO, RENE ARTOIS, YOU ARE REVEALED AT LAST 286 00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:15,834 IN YOUR TRUE COLORS AS A WORKER FOR THE RESISTANCE. 287 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,336 OH NO, HERR FLICK! I WAS JUST GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS 288 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,839 WHEN ALL THESE GIRLS BURST IN BRANDISHING GUNS. 289 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,341 THEN WHY ARE YOU NOT HOLDING UP YOUR HANDS? 290 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,844 WELL, I'M GETTING YOUR COGNAC. 291 00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,847 I CANNOT GET YOUR COGNAC WITH MY HANDS IN THE AIR. 292 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:30,849 ENOUGH OF ALL THIS. GET THROUGH THAT DOOR. 293 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:37,856 - WHERE ARE THEY TAKING US? - TO THE CELLAR. 294 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,859 WELL, IF IT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE BLOWING UP OF NOUVION, 295 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:43,361 IT WAS NOT MY IDEA! 296 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:45,364 YOU COME WITH US, RENE. 297 00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:48,867 ( moans ) 298 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,306 IT'S A REAL MYSTERY. THE COLONEL SAID 299 00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:56,308 HE WOULD ONLY BE A COUPLE OF MINUTES, 300 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:57,809 THAT WAS AN HOUR AGO. 301 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,313 GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN IS HERE. 302 00:18:01,313 --> 00:18:03,315 OH DEAR, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 303 00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,317 YOU'D BETTER SHOW HIM IN. 304 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:08,820 ( yells ) GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN! 305 00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,325 - HEIL HITLER. - Germans: HEIL HITLER. 306 00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,327 HEIL MUSSOLINI! 307 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:17,829 THAT WILL BE THE DAY. 308 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:21,833 GRUBER! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 309 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,337 - WHERE'S THE COLONEL? - HE IS MISSING. 310 00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:28,340 - WELL, DIDN'T HE KNOW I WAS HERE? - YES, GENERAL. 311 00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:31,343 WELL, HE SHOULD BE HERE. I AM VERY IMPORTANT. 312 00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:34,846 WELL, BETWEEN ME AND YOU, HUBERT-- 313 00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,851 I HEAR DISTURBING THINGS ABOUT KLINKERHOFFEN. 314 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,855 IS HE SERIOUS IN HIS INTENTION TO BLOW UP THE TOWN? 315 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:43,856 HE IS VERY EARNEST. 316 00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,858 HE HAS-A BEEN-A THIS WAY 317 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:49,361 SINCE THE BARNEY ABOUT THE ESCAPE OF THE BRITISH AIRMEN. 318 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:53,365 HE SAID HE WOULD DEPRESS THE PLUNGER PERSONALLY. 319 00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:54,866 OH DEAR ME, DEAR ME. 320 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:57,870 EVEN AT JUNIOR STAFF COLLEGE, HE WAS A BIT OF A HOTHEAD. 321 00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,872 WHENEVER WE HAD A FANCY-DRESS BALL, 322 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,874 HE ALWAYS CAME DRESSED AS ATTILA THE HUN. 323 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:07,379 WE ALWAYS USED TO GO DRESSED AS NUNS AND SCHOOLGIRLS. 324 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,383 THOSE WERE THE DAYS, WEREN'T THEY? 325 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,388 IN ITALIAN STAFF COLLEGE, 326 00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:18,890 WE WENT DRESSED AS THE MEN. 327 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,393 YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME IN THAT HAT. 328 00:19:23,395 --> 00:19:26,398 EXCUSE ME, RENE ARTOIS IS OUTSIDE. 329 00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:28,400 HE SAYS HE HAS NEWS OF THE COLONEL. 330 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,403 HE SAID HE WAS BROUGHT HERE AT GUNPOINT BY THE RESISTANCE 331 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,405 UNDER RATHER TRYING CIRCUMSTANCES. 332 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:36,408 - WHO IS THIS RENE ARTOIS? - A FRIENDLY PEASANT. 333 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:37,409 WELL, SHOW HIM IN. 334 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,412 ( yells ) COME IN HERE! 335 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:48,420 YES, HE DOES LOOK RATHER FRIENDLY. 336 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:51,423 HOW LONG HAS HE HAD THE HERNIA? 337 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,929 RENE, YOU HAVE NEWS OF THE COLONEL? 338 00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:00,933 OH, IT IS TERRIBLE. HE HAS BEEN ABDUCTED BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE-- 339 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:04,436 - WHO I DO NOT KNOW. - HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE? 340 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,439 WELL, THEY GAVE ME THIS MESSAGE ON THEIR HEADED NOTEPAPER. 341 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,445 - AHEM... - YES, SIR. 342 00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:17,950 "COLONEL VON STROHM IS BEING HELD AS A HOSTAGE 343 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:21,453 TOGETHER WITH HERR FLICK AND HERR VON SMALLHAUSEN OF THE GESTAPO. 344 00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:24,956 THEY HAVE BEEN PLACED NEXT TO A 500-LB BOMB. 345 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,459 IF YOU PROCEED WITH THE PLAN TO BLOW UP THE TOWN, 346 00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,961 THEY ALSO WILL BE BLOWN UP. YOURS FAITHFULLY..." 347 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,965 THESE COMMUNISTS, THEY STOP AT NOTHING, HUH? 348 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,466 DID YOU RECOGNIZE THEIR FACES? 349 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,468 OH, THEY WERE ROUGH PEASANT WOMEN, 350 00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,470 NOT OUR SORT AT ALL. 351 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,972 - WHERE HAVE THEY TAKEN THEM? - I DO NOT KNOW. 352 00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:43,475 THEY DID NOT TELL ME ANYTHING BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW THEM, 353 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,477 AND-AND WHAT IS MORE, THEY BLINDFOLDED ME, 354 00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:46,978 AND TOOK AWAY MY TROUSERS. 355 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,481 THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 356 00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,483 WELL, THIS IS PIGGY'S AREA. 357 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:54,986 I SIMPLY BETTER SEND FOR HIM AND SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY. 358 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,489 EXCUSE ME, WHAT ABOUT THIS LOCK? 359 00:20:57,489 --> 00:21:01,493 I COULD ALWAYS SHOOT IT OFF, HMM? 360 00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:04,496 I COULD TRY MY KEYS. 361 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,006 I WILL-- I WILL SETTLE FOR THE BULLET. 362 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,516 CAN ANYONE WRIGGLE ANYTHING FREE? 363 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,520 NOTHING THAT WOULD BE OF ANY USE TO US. 364 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:34,025 CAN YOU NOT RELEASE THE SECRET GESTAPO CUTTING TOOL 365 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,528 FROM THE FALSE HEEL OF YOUR GESTAPO BOOT? 366 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:39,030 THEY'RE AT THE MENDER'S. 367 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:42,034 THEY'LL BE BACK ON THURSDAY. 368 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:45,537 THIS IS ALL THE FAULT OF YOUR STUPID PIGGY-FACED GENERAL! 369 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:49,040 NEXT TIME I SEE HIM I WILL TELL HIM WHAT YOU SAID. 370 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,043 SNEAK! 371 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:55,047 WITH MY KEEN EYE I HAVE SPOTTED WIRES RUNNING FROM THE CLOCK. 372 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,549 MY ANALYTICAL MIND TELLS ME 373 00:21:57,549 --> 00:22:00,051 THAT IF WE INTERFERE WITH THE MOVEMENT OF THE HAND, 374 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:03,055 WE WILL PREVENT THE DETONATION. 375 00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:05,057 I HAVE MANAGED TO UNDO A KNOT! 376 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:07,059 I THINK I COULD HOP OVER THERE. 377 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,061 WELL, GET ON WITH IT! 378 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:21,072 IT'S NO GOOD. I CANNOT REACH HIGH ENOUGH. 379 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,075 STOP THE BIG HAND WITH YOUR NOSE. 380 00:22:25,077 --> 00:22:27,579 I HAVE TO STAND ON TIPTOE. 381 00:22:27,579 --> 00:22:30,081 IT'S NOT VERY COMFORTABLE. 382 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:33,085 NEVER MIND. IT'S ONLY FOR 24 HOURS. 383 00:22:35,087 --> 00:22:36,988 ( knock on door ) 384 00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:39,991 ( both laugh ) 385 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,993 ( yells ) GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN! 386 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:47,498 HELLO, PIGGY. 387 00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:51,002 VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO MY HEADQUARTERS? 388 00:22:51,002 --> 00:22:54,005 WE HEAR YOU'RE HAVING A LITTLE RUN-IN WITH THE RESISTANCE. 389 00:22:54,005 --> 00:22:57,008 THERE'S NO PROBLEM. IF THEY DO NOT PRODUCE THE AIRMEN, 390 00:22:57,008 --> 00:22:59,510 I AM GOING TO PRESS THIS PLUNGER, 391 00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:01,012 WHICH WILL BLOW UP THE TOWN! 392 00:23:01,012 --> 00:23:03,014 ISN'T THAT A LITTLE SEVERE? 393 00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:05,016 MY PATIENCE HAS BEEN TRIED TO THE LIMIT. 394 00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:08,019 WE MUST SHOW THESE FROGGY UPSTARTS WHO ARE THE MASTERS! 395 00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:10,521 WE MUST TEACH THEM A LESSON THEY WILL NOT FORGET. 396 00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:15,026 GENERAL, IN YOUR ABSENCE, 397 00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:17,528 THE COLONEL HAS BEEN ABDUCTED 398 00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:20,031 AND IS AT THIS VERY MOMENT SITTING ON A BOMB 399 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:23,534 WITH HERR FLICK AND HIS LITTLE ASSISTANT VON SMALLHAUSEN. 400 00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:27,539 THE RESISTANCE SENT US A NOTE SAYING THAT IF YOU PROCEED WITH YOUR PLAN, 401 00:23:27,539 --> 00:23:29,541 THEY WILL EXPLODE ALL THREE OF THEM. 402 00:23:29,541 --> 00:23:33,044 WHAT IS THE LIFE OF ONE COLONEL AND A COUPLE OF GESTAPO OFFICERS 403 00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:35,046 COMPARED TO KEEPING LAW AND ORDER, 404 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:39,050 AND SUBJUGATING THESE TERRORISTS THAT CALL THEMSELVES RESISTANCE? 405 00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:41,552 THE VICTORIOUS GERMAN ARMY HAS SWEPT ACROSS EUROPE, 406 00:23:41,553 --> 00:23:43,555 CRUSHING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH! 407 00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:49,561 ARE WE TO ALLOW THESE PEOPLE TO COCK SNOOKS AT US? 408 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:54,065 AND IF THE PRICE OF FINAL VICTORY 409 00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:58,069 IS THE LIFE OF A COLONEL AND A COUPLE OF GESTAPO OFFICERS, SO BE IT! 410 00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:04,075 YES. PIGGY, OLD BOY, 411 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:07,078 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A HOLIDAY? 412 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:10,081 BADEN-BADEN '38. 413 00:24:10,081 --> 00:24:14,085 YOU WERE BOTH THERE! WE WENT TO A FANCY-DRESS BALL AT THE BATHS. 414 00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:16,087 I WENT AS ATTILA THE HUN! 415 00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:19,590 GET ME THE MILITARY HOSPITAL. 416 00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:22,093 FRUITCAKE DEPARTMENT. 417 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:32,103 - AW... - THEY'RE STILL ASLEEP. 418 00:24:32,103 --> 00:24:33,604 OH, LEAVE THEM THERE. 419 00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:35,607 WE CAN TAKE THEM UP TO THEIR ROOM LATER. 420 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:40,111 ( groans ) 421 00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:44,115 OH, RENE, I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE SAFE. 422 00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:45,616 - YES YES. - DID YOU DELIVER THE NOTE? 423 00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:48,119 YES YES, THEY HAVE IT. NOW CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY TROUSERS? 424 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,123 THEY WILL NOT BE BLOWING UP THE TOWN WHILE WE HAVE THE HOSTAGES. 425 00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:00,631 THE AIRMEN MUST GO AS SOON AS IT IS DARK. 426 00:25:00,632 --> 00:25:04,636 - WHERE IS THE BASKET? - OFFICER CRABTREE IS SUPERVISING IT. 427 00:25:04,636 --> 00:25:07,138 HERE IS THE BISCUIT. 428 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:16,648 WE'RE NOT GOING BACK TO ENGLAND DRESSED LIKE THIS, ARE WE? 429 00:25:16,648 --> 00:25:18,650 HELMET AND GOGGLES ARE IN THE BASKET. 430 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,151 GOOD. 431 00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:23,154 HOW I WASH YOU AND I COULD FLEW AWAY TOGETHER, 432 00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:25,156 HIGH UP IN THE CLODS. 433 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:28,659 COULD WE NOT STEW AWAY TOGETHER IN THE BISCUIT? 434 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:31,663 NO, WE WEE TOO MUCH. 435 00:25:33,665 --> 00:25:35,667 WE HAVE A BIT A PROBLEM. 436 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:39,170 THE MAIN VALVE IS LEAKING. GAS IS LEAKING INTO THE BALLOON. 437 00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:41,672 GO BACK AND TIGHTEN IT. 438 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,175 HERE IS A WRENCH. 439 00:25:49,681 --> 00:25:52,183 WHERE IS THE BALLAST FOR THE BASKET? 440 00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,685 - OH, THERE ARE SANDBAGS OUTSIDE. - GET THEM. 441 00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:57,689 CAN THEY NOT GO NOW? 442 00:25:57,689 --> 00:25:59,691 WHAT, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT? OF COURSE NOT! 443 00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:01,693 WE WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NIGHT FALLS. 444 00:26:01,693 --> 00:26:04,696 DO YOU NOT REALIZE THEY WILL START TO SEARCH FOR THE COLONEL? 445 00:26:04,696 --> 00:26:07,198 THIS PLACE COULD BE CRAWLING WITH GERMANS ANY MINUTE! 446 00:26:07,198 --> 00:26:09,700 ( flatulence ) 447 00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:13,204 ( high-pitched ) CRIKEY, I HAVE BURST THE VALVE! 448 00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:17,708 THE BALLOON IS FILLING! 449 00:26:19,711 --> 00:26:21,713 QUICK, TIE THE ROPES TO THE BASKET! 450 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:25,216 THERE IS NO BALLAST! IT WILL NOT HOLD DOWN THE BALLOON! 451 00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:26,717 TIE THE ROPE TO THE BED! 452 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:31,222 WE WILL LOSE THE BALLOON! 453 00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:34,225 ( glass shattering ) 454 00:26:34,225 --> 00:26:35,726 Edith: RENE! 455 00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:39,731 ( women screaming ) 456 00:26:45,737 --> 00:26:46,738 THAT SHOULD HOLD IT. 457 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:48,740 ( crowd clamoring ) 458 00:27:06,758 --> 00:27:09,260 OH MY GOD, IT IS LIFTING THE BED! 459 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:11,762 HOLD TIGHT, MAMA! 460 00:27:11,763 --> 00:27:14,766 ERNEST? ERNEST, WAKE UP! 461 00:27:14,766 --> 00:27:17,769 IT IS RISING. IT IS RISING! 462 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,271 MARROWS! MARROWS! 463 00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:24,275 WHO WILL BUY MY LOVELY ALGERIAN MARROWS? 464 00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:26,277 ( screaming ) 465 00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:33,785 OH, RENE! 466 00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:35,787 WE HAVE LOST MY MOTHER! 467 00:27:35,787 --> 00:27:39,791 DO NOT WORRY. WE HAVE GAINED A BEDROOM. 468 00:27:50,301 --> 00:27:52,803 WHAT ARE YOU PUTTING ME INTO THIS BED FOR? 469 00:27:52,804 --> 00:27:54,305 THERE'S NOTHING THE MATTER WITH ME! 470 00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:55,806 TAKE IT EASY, OLD CHAP. 471 00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:56,808 YOU'VE BEEN OVERDOING IT. 472 00:27:56,808 --> 00:27:59,310 THE NURSE HERE WILL GIVE YOU A NICE LITTLE INJECTION, 473 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:03,814 AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU'LL BE THE SAME OLD PIGGY THAT WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE. 474 00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:05,817 GO AWAY! I DO NOT WANT AN INJECTION! 475 00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:07,318 I'M JUST AS SANE AS YOU ARE! 476 00:28:14,325 --> 00:28:16,827 OH, ON SECOND THOUGHT... 477 00:28:16,828 --> 00:28:19,330 NURSE, THE NEEDLE. 478 00:28:20,832 --> 00:28:23,835 ( theme music playing )