1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:05,572 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,091 YOU MAY THINK IT STRANGE THAT I, RENE ARTOIS, 3 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,093 SHOULD BE BREAKING INTO MY OWN CAFE 4 00:00:27,093 --> 00:00:29,595 AT THE DEAD OF NIGHT DRESSED AS A PRIEST. 5 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,098 THERE IS, OF COURSE, A VERY GOOD REASON FOR THIS. 6 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,100 IN THIS DISGUISE I INTENDED TO RECEIVE, 7 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,602 THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE CONFESSIONAL BOX, 8 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,605 A BAR OF GOLD FROM COLONEL VON STROM. 9 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:43,109 IN RETURN I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE HIM THIS BUNDLE OF FORGED BANK NOTES. 10 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:46,612 UNFORTUNATELY, THE REAL PRIEST RETURNED UNEXPECTEDLY. 11 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:50,116 AND SO ALL I WAS ABLE TO DO WAS TO HEAR MY WIFE EDITH CONFESS 12 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,619 THAT SHE SUSPECTED ME OF HAVING AFFAIRS WITH MY WAITRESSES. 13 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,623 NEEDLESS TO SAY I ADMONISHED HER SEVERELY 14 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,625 FOR HAVING SUCH BASELESS THOUGHTS 15 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:01,127 AND SENT HER BACK WITH A FLEA IN HER EAR 16 00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,629 AND 200 HAIL MARYS. 17 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,132 - AH! - OH, RENE. 18 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,634 IT IS YOU. 19 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:13,139 HOLD ME TO YOU. STOP ME TREMBLING WITH FEAR. 20 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,644 OH, RENE, I CAME DOWN BECAUSE I THOUGHT 21 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:20,146 THERE WAS SOMETHING STIRRING IN THE DARKNESS. 22 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,649 THERE IS. IT IS ME. 23 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,653 - ( sighs ) - THANK HEAVENS YOU ARE SAFE. 24 00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,656 CRUSH MY FRIGHTENED BODY IN YOUR ARMS. 25 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,658 HUG THE FEAR OUT OF ME. 26 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,160 NOT WHILE I HAVE THIS HAT ON. 27 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,665 OH, RENE. 28 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,167 OH, YVETTE. 29 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:45,171 RENE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR UNDERWEAR 30 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,673 WITH THE SERVANT GIRL IN HER NIGHTGOWN?! 31 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,176 YOU STUPID WOMAN! 32 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,179 I WAS JUST ABOUT TO JOIN YOU UPSTAIRS 33 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:55,681 WHEN I HEARD A PROWLER AND CAME TO INVESTIGATE. 34 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,184 DO YOU NOT REALIZE IT IS A MORTAL SIN 35 00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,685 TO HARBOR SUCH JEALOUS THOUGHTS? 36 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,688 OH, YOU ARE RIGHT. 37 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,691 I AM SO FAR FROM BEING PERFECT FOR YOU. 38 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:08,194 I MUST DRIVE OUT THIS WICKEDNESS THAT IS WITHIN ME! 39 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,198 OUT! OUT, WICKED THOUGHTS! 40 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,700 - OUT! - EDITH, STOP IT! 41 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:17,203 THESE ARE 100 FRANCS A DOZEN. 42 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,205 DO YOU THINK I AM MADE OF MONEY? 43 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,207 NOW TAKE YOUR CANDLE AND GO OFF TO BED. 44 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,709 YVETTE AND I WILL LOCK UP. GO ON. 45 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,214 OH, RENE, 46 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:31,217 YOU ARE SUCH A FINE MAN. I DO NOT DESERVE YOU. 47 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:34,720 GOODNESS SHINES OUT OF YOUR NOBLE FACE. 48 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,724 - WILL YOU BE LONG? - WELL, I WILL JUST READ A CHAPTER OR TWO 49 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:39,726 FROM THE GOOD BOOK AND THEN I WILL BE WITH YOU. 50 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,734 OH, THAT WAS A NARROW SQUEAK. 51 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,736 OH, LET US TAKE THE GOLD NOW AND ESCAPE 52 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,738 - BEFORE OUR LUCK RUNS OUT. - IT HAS ALREADY RUN OUT. 53 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:54,741 I HAD TO LEAVE THE CHURCH BEFORE THE COLONEL ARRIVED WITH THE GOLD. 54 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,743 I STILL HAVE THIS FORGED MONEY. 55 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,244 OH NO, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 56 00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,746 WELL, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO READ TWO CHAPTERS? 57 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,750 - OH RENE. - OH YVETTE. 58 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,752 - ( knocks on door ) - OH! OH. 59 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:08,755 - WHAT'S HAPPENED? - I THINK IT IS THE COLONEL. 60 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,758 Von Strom: OPEN THE DOOR! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! 61 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,761 ( bell dings ) 62 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,763 UP AGAINST THE BAR. 63 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,765 HANDS UP! 64 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,771 WE HAVE-A BEEN-A DIDDLED! 65 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,774 THE COLONEL HANDED OVER THE GOLD AND WE GOT NOTHING. 66 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,776 EXCEPT-A THE HAIL-A THE MARYS. 67 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,778 THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. 68 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,281 I-I-I HAVE JUST HAD A VISIT FROM A MAN OF THE CHURCH 69 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,783 WHO I DO NOT KNOW. HE GAVE ME THIS MONEY, 70 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:41,287 SAYING, "GIVE THESE NOTES UNTO THE MAN, 71 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:45,291 YEA, EVEN UNTO HE WHO GAVE THE GOLD UNTO THE CHURCH, 72 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,293 VERILY." 73 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,795 HE MUST'VE MEANT YOU, COLONEL. 74 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,799 RENE, I KNEW YOU WOULD NOT LET US DOWN. 75 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,300 WELL, I WAS AS MYSTIFIED AS YOU, 76 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,302 - BEING JUST THE MAN IN BETWEEN. - ( knocks on door ) 77 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:57,803 - ( Rene gasps ) - WHO'S THAT? 78 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,306 WE MUST NOT BE SEEN. CAN WE USE THE BACK PASSAGE? 79 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:02,808 YES, OF COURSE. TURN RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BACK DOOR. 80 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,812 SEE YOU LATER THEN? 81 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:13,119 - IT IS THE PRIEST. - OH, HECK. 82 00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:16,122 - ( bell dings ) - MY SON, I HAVE GOOD NEWS. 83 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,624 THIS NIGHT, THIS GOLD WAS HANDED UNTO ME. 84 00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:22,629 I WISH IT TO GO TO THE RESISTANCE, WHO I DO NOT KNOW. 85 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,631 WELL, I DO NOT KNOW THEM EITHER! 86 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,133 BUT I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES KNOW THEM. 87 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,136 TAKE IT AND GO IN PEACE, MY SON. 88 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,643 AND TRY TO KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE SERVANTS. 89 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:42,649 I HAVE NOT CONFESSED ANYTHING. HAVE YOU? 90 00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,151 WELL, JUST A LITTLE BIT, 91 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,153 YOU KNOW, TO STOP HIM FALLING ASLEEP. 92 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:52,158 OH, RENE, NOW THAT WE HAVE THE GOLD, 93 00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,660 LET US ESCAPE TOGETHER NOW. 94 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:58,164 YVETTE, A SACRED TRUST HAS BEEN HANDED UNTO ME. 95 00:04:58,164 --> 00:05:01,667 BESIDES, THE LAST BUS WENT FOUR HOURS AGO. 96 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,671 - Edith: RENE! - UH, COMING, DEAR! 97 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:09,676 ( clears throat ) ♪ ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL ♪ 98 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:13,179 ♪ ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL... ♪ 99 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,684 HELGA IS HERE, HERR FLICK. 100 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:22,689 - BRING HER IN. - BRING HER IN HERE! 101 00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:30,697 YOU SENT FOR ME, HERR FLICK? 102 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,699 YOU WERE AT THE CASTLE WHEN THE BRITISH AIRMEN 103 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,701 LEFT WITH THE OFFICERS FROM BERLIN. 104 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,202 YES, HERR FLICK. 105 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:38,704 THEY WERE IN FACT ABDUCTED BY THE RESISTANCE. 106 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:42,208 AT THE TIME, YOU WERE SMOOCHING WITH CAPTAIN BERTORELLI 107 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,709 WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE GUARD. 108 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,212 NOBODY NOTICED EXCEPT YOU. 109 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,714 PRECISELY. I COULD KEEP QUIET, 110 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,718 PROVIDING YOU PROMISE NOT TO SMOOCH WITH HIM AGAIN. 111 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:55,722 - I DID IT ONLY TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS. - YOU SUCCEEDED. 112 00:05:55,722 --> 00:06:00,727 HE CAME BACK HERE AND HE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON HIS GESTAPO HAT! 113 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,229 SILENCE, VON SMALLHAUSEN! GO TO YOUR CUPBOARD. 114 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:10,236 HELGA, WE LIVE IN DANGEROUS TIMES. 115 00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,738 WE KNOW NOT WHAT FATE HAS IN STORE. 116 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,742 ONE DAY THE GESTAPO MAY BECOME UNPOPULAR. 117 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:20,246 - SURELY NOT. - TO SAFEGUARD AGAINST THIS, 118 00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:23,749 I HAVE DECIDED TO SELL THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 119 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,252 WITH THE BIG BOOBIES BY VAN CLOMP FOR HARD CASH 120 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,254 IN CASE WE HAVE TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 121 00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:32,258 VON SMALLHAUSEN IS MAKING AN EFFORT TO FIND A FENCE. 122 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:37,263 YOU, BEING A LANCE CORPORAL AND MIXING WITH LOWLY AND INFERIOR PEOPLE, 123 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:39,765 MAY BE ABLE TO BE OF ASSISTANCE. 124 00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,769 I WILL DO MY INSIGNIFICANT BEST TO HELP YOU, HERR FLICK. 125 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:45,772 - GOOD. YOU MAY KISS ME. - LIKE WE DID IN THE OLD DAYS? 126 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,775 IF YOU INSIST. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. 127 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:57,783 THAT IS SUFFICIENT. 128 00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,786 I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT AT THE HAIRDRESSER'S. 129 00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,288 IT CAN WAIT. 130 00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,299 RENE, MICHELLE WANTS YOU IN THE BACKROOM. 131 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,301 OH HECK, WILL SHE NEVER LEAVE US IN PEACE? 132 00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:17,303 YVETTE, EDITH, BACKROOM, COME ON. 133 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,808 NOW LOOK, MICHELLE, EVERY SCHEME YOU HAVE EVER COME UP WITH 134 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,812 HAS BEEN SCREWED UP. I REFUSE TO HIDE THE AIRMEN ANY LONGER. 135 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,814 I AM GOING TO HAND THEM OVER TO THE GERMANS. 136 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,316 THERE WILL BE NO NEED. WE HAVE A BOLD PLAN 137 00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:33,319 TO GET THEM BACK TO ENGLAND WHICH CANNOT FAIL. 138 00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,820 EH, I HAVE HEARD THAT BEFORE. 139 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,824 THIS MUST BE A MOST UNUSUAL PLAN. 140 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,326 LOOK, DO NOT GET SARCASTIC WITH ME. 141 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:43,329 YOU COME AND RUN THE RESISTANCE AND I WILL STAY IN THE CAFE 142 00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:44,830 AND SING... OFF THE NOTE. 143 00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,335 HOW DARE YOU!? 144 00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:53,839 LADIES, LADIES, PLEASE. THE STRAIN OF THE WAR HAS SHREDDED OUR NERVES. 145 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,341 LET US HEAR THE PLAN. 146 00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:58,844 WE HAVE CAPTURED A BRAND-NEW BARRAGE BALLOON. 147 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,847 WHEN THERE IS A FAVORABLE WIND, 148 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:03,850 IT WILL BE INFLATED AT NIGHT BEHIND YOUR CAFE. 149 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,353 IT WILL CARRY THE AIRMEN TO ENGLAND. 150 00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:10,356 A SPITFIRE WILL THEN SHOOT IN IT A FEW SMALL HOLES 151 00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:14,360 AND IT WILL DESCEND GENTLY TO EARTH. 152 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,362 IT IS A DARING PLAN. 153 00:08:16,362 --> 00:08:20,366 JUST A MINUTE. DO YOU THINK FOR ONE SECOND THE GERMANS WILL NOT NOTICE 154 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:23,369 A DAMN GREAT BARRAGE BALLOON IN MY BACK GARDEN? 155 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:24,870 THAT IS THE CLEVER BIT. 156 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:26,873 IT WILL BE DELIVERED WITH A MARQUEE 157 00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:28,875 WHICH WILL BE ERECTED IN YOUR GARDEN. 158 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,376 FOR WHAT PURPOSE? 159 00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:32,878 FOR THE WEDDING OF MADAME FANNY TO MONSIEUR LECLERC. 160 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,881 BUT THEIR WEDDING IS NOT FOR SIX WEEKS. 161 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:37,884 WHAT EXCUSE DO WE HAVE FOR MAKING IT SO SOON? 162 00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:41,387 YOU WILL TELL THE VILLAGERS THAT IT IS TO BE A SHOTGUN WEDDING. 163 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,392 THEY WILL CERTAINLY BE THE OLDEST COUPLE 164 00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:48,894 IN NOUVION TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE. 165 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,898 BUT WILL NOT THE BALLOON EXPLODE IF IT IS SHOT DOWN? 166 00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:55,401 WE HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS. IT IS TO BE FILLED WITH HELIUM. 167 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:58,904 THIS IS A RARE GAS. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT? 168 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,908 THERE IS STILL SOME IN AN OLD AIRSHIP FACTORY. 169 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,410 IT IS HIDDEN IN SMALL CANISTERS 170 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,412 WHICH WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU 171 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,914 DISGUISED AS PRIZE-WINNING VEGETABLE MARROWS. 172 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:14,420 BUT ARE THEY NOT OUT OF SEASON AT THIS TIME OF YEAR? 173 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,921 THEY ARE FROM ALGERIA. 174 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:19,425 THEY WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU 175 00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:23,929 BY A MAN DISGUISED AS AN ALGERIAN PRIZE-WINNING VEGETABLE MARROW SALESMAN. 176 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:29,435 AN EVERYDAY SIGHTING IN NOUVION, OF COURSE. 177 00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:32,938 OH, THE RESISTANCE HAVE FIXED IT FOR FRIDAY. 178 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,441 MY MOTHER WILL NOT LIKE IT. 179 00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,576 I DO NOT LIKE IT. 180 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,580 BUT YOU WILL BE DOING IT FOR FRANCE, MAMA. 181 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,584 AND YOU CAN HAVE A LOVELY RECEPTION IN THE MARQUEE. 182 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:48,087 I AM NOT WELL ENOUGH. 183 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,089 IS IT YOUR BAD LEG, MAMA? 184 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:53,592 NO NO NO NO, MY BAD LEG IS GOOD AT THE MOMENT. 185 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,597 EVERYTHING ELSE HAS PACKED UP. 186 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:03,603 THE DOCTOR HAS ORDERED THAT I SPEND FOUR WEEKS IN BED 187 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:08,107 BEFORE ATTEMPTING THAT JOURNEY UP THE AISLE. 188 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,110 WE CANNOT CHANGE THE PLANS, MAMA. 189 00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,113 SOMEHOW THE GOOD LORD WILL GET YOU TO THE CHURCH. 190 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:17,616 WELL, I SUPPOSE IF HE WANTS ME THERE, 191 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,619 HE WILL FIX IT. 192 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,122 HAS HE ARRANGED A CAR? 193 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,124 THERE IS NO PETROL, MAMA. 194 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:31,630 OH, BUT I AM SURE MONSIEUR ALFONSE WILL TAKE YOU IN HIS HEARSE. 195 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,132 HEARSE? 196 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,636 OVER MY DEAD BODY. 197 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,645 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN IS OUTSIDE. 198 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,647 HE'S IN A STEAMING RAGE. 199 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,649 KEEP CALM, EVERYBODY. 200 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,652 KEEP CALM. REMEMBER, WE KNOW NOTHING. 201 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,655 ( shouts ) GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN! 202 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,158 ( shouts ) IN A STEAMING RAGE! 203 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,662 - HEIL HITLER! - HEIL NOTHING! 204 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,164 WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON IN MY ABSENCE? 205 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,666 I TURN MY BACK FOR 24 HOURS 206 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,669 AND YOU ALLOW THE RESISTANCE TO CAPTURE 207 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,671 HIGH-RANKING OFFICERS FROM BERLIN! 208 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,676 AND, WEARING THEIR UNIFORMS, THESE TERRORISTS THEN INFILTRATE MY CHATEAU 209 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,179 AND SPIRIT THE AIRMEN AWAY! WHO WAS THE DUTY OFFICER? 210 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,181 CAPTAIN BERTORELLI. 211 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,684 YOU! YOU ARE THE SNITCH! 212 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,187 WHEN MY FIELD MARSHALL HAS SPOKEN TO HIS FIELD MARSHALL 213 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,189 HE WILL BE LIEUTENANT BERTORELLI. 214 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,691 AND WHY WAS THIS CHICKEN-FEATHERED WOP 215 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,194 NOT ATTENDING TO HIS DUTIES CORRECTLY? 216 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,695 HE WAS CANOODLING... 217 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,699 WITH LANCE CORPORAL HELGA GEERHEART. 218 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,202 PRIVATE HELGA GEERHEART. 219 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,207 FOR THIS, THE WHOLE TOWN WILL BE TAUGHT A LESSON. 220 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,709 YOU WILL PLACE CHARGES OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES 221 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,712 IN KEY POSITIONS IN THE TOWN. 222 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,715 IF THE AIRMEN ARE NOT RETURNED IN 48 HOURS, 223 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,718 I PERSONALLY WILL DEPRESS THE PLUNGER 224 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,220 AND NOUVION WILL BE NO MORE. 225 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,222 LET POSTERS BE PLACED TO THIS EFFECT. 226 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:07,726 - LET IT BE DONE! - DO WE PLACE EXPLOSIVES IN THE CHATEAU? 227 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,229 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! I LIVE THERE! 228 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:14,233 ( sobs ) 229 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,735 - RENE? - MMM? 230 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,738 SHE HAS TAKEN THE GIN AND THE SOUP, 231 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,740 BUT SHE IS NOT WELL. 232 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,743 THE DOCTOR HAS DIAGNOSED THE COLLYWOBBLES. 233 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,245 HE HAS ADVISED HER AGAINST GOING INTO A DRAFTY CHURCH. 234 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,248 I WISH HE HAD SAID THE SAME THING TO ME. 235 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,251 - ( bell dings ) - GOOD MOANING. 236 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,254 GOOD "MOANING." 237 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,759 HAVE YOU HOD THE NOSE? 238 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,261 WHAT NOSE? 239 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,764 THE GERMANS HAVE PUT UP THESE PISTERS. 240 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,771 THEY ARE PLACING MOANS ALL OVER THE TOWN. 241 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:56,275 - "MOANS"? - HE MEANS "MINES." 242 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,277 IF THE EARMAN ARE NOT RETURNED, 243 00:12:58,277 --> 00:13:00,779 THEN THE WHOLE OF NOUVION WILL GO OFF WITH A BONG. 244 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,282 THEY WOULD NOT DO THAT. 245 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,784 THAT SETTLES IT. WE HAND THE AIRMEN BACK TO THE GERMANS. 246 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,288 - YOU WOULD NOT DEE THIS. - ARE YOU A MIN OR A MOOSE? 247 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:14,293 SHE MEANS "A MAN OR A MOUSE." 248 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,795 ALL THE SAME, THE SOONER THEY GET TO ENGLAND, THE BETTER. 249 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:20,800 THE FEARCAST FOR THE WITHER IS GID FOR THE NEXT THREE DOOS. 250 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,802 DOES THIS MEAN THAT THEY CAN GO? 251 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,804 THE WOND IS IN OUR FEAVER. 252 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,806 WE WILL SEND A MASSAGE. 253 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,309 YOU CANNOT USE THE RADIO, IT IS BEING INTERCEPTED. 254 00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,311 I KNEE THAT. 255 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,313 THE MASSAGE WILL GO BY PODGEON. 256 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,319 "PODGEON"? 257 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:42,321 A HOMING PODGEON. 258 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,825 - WITH FITHERS. - AH. 259 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,828 IT WILL BE RELEASED FROM THE WONDOW OF YOUR MOTHER-IN-LOO. 260 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,330 WELL, WE DO NOT HAVE A PODGEON. 261 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,835 MY ASSISTANT URGENT GRACE WILL BRONG IT. 262 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,839 - URGENT GRACE? - THAT IS HIS BIT OF CRIMPET. 263 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,842 - ( bell dings ) - HERE SHE IS NOO. 264 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,844 GOOD MOANING. 265 00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,847 - I WILL SPOOK TO HER. - WELL, SIT DOWN THERE 266 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,850 AND KEEP OUT OF SIGHT. 267 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,854 SORRY I AM LOOT. I HAD TO POWDER MY KNEES. 268 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:19,358 - WHERE IS THE PODGEON? - UNDER MY HUT. 269 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,360 ( pigeon cooing ) 270 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,370 WELL, HE SEEMS TO BE RARING TO GO. 271 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,505 RENE, THE COLONEL IS OUTSIDE! 272 00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:35,507 MY GOD. KEEP THAT THING STILL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! 273 00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:41,012 IT SOUNDS AS IF IT IS LAYING AN OGG. 274 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,515 AH! COLONEL, COME IN, SIT DOWN. 275 00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:48,019 DRINKS FOR THE COLONEL, THE CAPTAIN, THE LIEUTENANT AND THE LANCE CORPORAL! 276 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,023 - THE PRIVATE. - PRIVATE. 277 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:54,026 RENE, WE HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU. 278 00:14:54,026 --> 00:14:56,528 I HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE EXPLOSIVES. THAT IS TERRIBLE NEWS! 279 00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,530 WHAT IS WORSE, RENE, 280 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:02,534 100 LBS OF IT IS GOING TO BE IN A SEWER UNDER YOUR CAFE. 281 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,536 - OH NO. - IF YOU'VE GOT-A THE AIRMEN, 282 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,037 YOU'D BETTER GIVE-A THEM UP. 283 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,541 WE ARE PROUD FRENCHMEN. WE DO NOT GIVE IN TO THREATS. 284 00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,043 BUT EDITH, 100 LBS OF EXPLOSIVES 285 00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,546 - UNDER THE CAFE. I MEAN-- - HE HAS NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE. 286 00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:17,048 RENE, I IMPLORE YOU. 287 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,051 IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW. 288 00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:22,054 THE LAST THING WE WANT TO DO IS BLOW YOU UP. 289 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,056 IT WOULD MAKE US VERY UNPOPULAR. 290 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:28,060 - THINK ABOUT IT, RENE. - I AM THINKING ABOUT IT, LIEUTENANT. 291 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:31,563 MARROWS! MARROWS! 292 00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:35,066 PRIZE ALGERIAN MARROWS! 293 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:38,070 OH MY GOD. 294 00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:42,074 WHO WILL BUY MARROWS FROM A PRIZE ALGERIAN MARROW SELLER? 295 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:45,077 COME OVER TO THE BAR, ALGERIAN MARROW SALESMAN. 296 00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,079 COME AND SHOW ME YOUR-- 297 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,581 COME ALONG. COME OVER HERE. 298 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:53,585 - MARROWS! ALGERIAN MARROWS! - SHUT UP. SHUT UP! 299 00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:56,087 IT IS ME, ERNEST... 300 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,589 IN DISGUISE. 301 00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,091 YES, WEARING IMPENETRABLE BOOT POLISH I SEE. 302 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:02,094 THESE ARE CYLINDERS OF HELIUM. 303 00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,596 GOOD, GIVE THEM TO ME. 304 00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,598 ( grunts ) 305 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,600 THEY'RE UNDER HIGH PRESSURE. 306 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,602 YES, SO AM I. 307 00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:15,607 - THIS ONE IS LEAKING. - ( flatulence ) 308 00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:17,609 I BEG YOUR PIDDON. 309 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:22,114 - DO NOT INHALE THE GAS. - NO, I WILL DO MY BEST. 310 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,616 NOW YOU GIVE IT TO ME BEFORE WE GET US ALL SHOT. 311 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:27,118 THE GAS AFFECTS THE VOICE, SEE? 312 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,620 ( flatulence ) 313 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,122 ( high-pitched ) IT TIGHTENS THE VOCAL CORDS. 314 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:37,129 YES, WELL, THANK YOU, ALGERIAN MARROW SELLER. 315 00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:40,132 - BE ON YOUR WAY. - ( high-pitched ) ALGERIAN MARROWS! 316 00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:43,135 WHO WOULD LIKE TO BUY ALGERIAN MARROWS? 317 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:49,141 ADIEU, OLD ALGERIAN EUNUCH. 318 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,644 COME AGAIN WHEN YOU HAVE MORE PRIZE MARROWS. 319 00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:56,147 - RENE, MORE WINE. - YES, COLONEL. 320 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,150 I WILL GET IT. 321 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,153 RENE... 322 00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:07,659 RENE, REST ASSURED THAT IF WE ARE GOING TO BLOW UP YOUR CAFE, 323 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:09,661 I WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE WARNING THAT I CAN. 324 00:17:09,661 --> 00:17:11,663 OH, THANK YOU, LIEUTENANT GRUBER. 325 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:14,666 YOU LOOK VERY PALE, RENE. 326 00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:18,169 OH, WELL, THE STRAIN HAS PLAYED HAVOC WITH MY NERVES. 327 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,172 ( flatulence ) 328 00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,180 EXCUSE ME. 329 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,684 UNDERSTANDABLE, I SUPPOSE. 330 00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:34,686 SHALL I TAKE THE WINE? 331 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:36,688 ( high-pitched ) NO, THAT IS ALL RIGHT, 332 00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:40,692 I WILL DELIVER IT... TO THE TABLE PERSONALLY. 333 00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:46,197 HERE IS THE POSTER, HERR FLICK. 334 00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,700 IT COULD OF COURSE BE AN IDLE THREAT. 335 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,703 DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THEY CARRY IT OUT? 336 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:53,705 THERE WILL BE NO NOUVION. 337 00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:55,707 WE SHALL HAVE TO MOVE TO ANOTHER TOWN. 338 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:57,709 I HAVE MADE MANY ENEMIES HERE. 339 00:17:57,709 --> 00:18:01,212 IT WOULD TAKE MONTHS TO MAKE AS MANY ENEMIES IN A STRANGE TOWN. 340 00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:04,216 WE MUST NOT ALLOW THIS BLOWING UP TO HAPPEN. 341 00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:07,219 THE GENERAL IS GOING TO PERSONALLY PRESS THE PLUNGER... 342 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:09,221 FROM A SAFE DISTANCE. 343 00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,723 FIND OUT THE POSITION OF THE EXPLOSIVES 344 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:14,225 AND SEE IF WE CAN DEFUSE THEM. 345 00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:16,728 THAT WILL BE VERY DANGEROUS WORK, HERR FLICK. 346 00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:19,731 I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE THAT YOU WILL SUCCEED, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 347 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:25,737 HERE IS THE GESTAPO DEFUSING-EXPLOSIVES HANDBOOK. 348 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:29,741 IT IS BY THE LATE PROFESSOR VON FLATTENHEAD, 349 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:32,744 WHO, AS YOU WILL KNOW, IS BURIED IN MUNICH... 350 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:34,746 AND HAMBURG AND BREMEN. 351 00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:38,249 - BONE UP ON IT. - YES, HERR FLICK. 352 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:49,561 OH, RENE, MADAME EDITH HAS EXCELLED HERSELF. 353 00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:51,563 THE FOOD IS MAGNIFICENT! 354 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,565 YES, WELL, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY UNTIL THOSE AIRMEN ARE 355 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,567 BACK SAFELY IN THE HANDS OF THE GERMANS. 356 00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,569 THEY ARE GOING BACK TO ENGLAND AND THAT IS FINAL. 357 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,572 THE BALLOON IS OUTSOD. 358 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,575 THEN FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, BRING IT IN HERE. 359 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,079 - MOVE THAT TABLE BACK. - ALL RIGHT. 360 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:10,082 MONSIEUR LECLERC, GET ON THAT CORNER. 361 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,584 - HELP HIM. - OKAY, RENE. UP. 362 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:15,086 - WHERE DO YOU WANT IT? - HERE. 363 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:18,090 OH! MY FOOT! 364 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:21,593 YOU HAVE CRACKED IT! AH! I CANNOT PUT IT DOWN. 365 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,095 YVETTE, SIT HIM DOWN. SOMEBODY. GO ON, OVER THERE. 366 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:27,599 BRONG IT IN HOOR. 367 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:30,101 WHERE SHALL WE PIT IT? 368 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,603 BEHIND THE TABLE. 369 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,610 I HAVE THE WEATHER FEARCAST. IT IS GID. 370 00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:41,613 THEN WE WILL WRITE A MASSAGE AND SEND IT BY PODGEON. 371 00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:44,616 I WILL WRITE IT AND TIE IT TO HIS LOG. 372 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,621 ( pigeon cooing ) 373 00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:53,625 KEEP IT UNDER THE HUT UNTIL YOUR ARE RODDY. 374 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:57,128 ( British accent ) "EXPECT THE AIRMEN TO ARRIVE OVER DOVER AT--" 375 00:19:57,129 --> 00:19:59,131 ( flapping ) 376 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,139 IT IS VERY KEEN TO GET TO ENGLAND. 377 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,642 IT COULD NOT EVEN WAIT FOR THE MESSAGE. 378 00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:17,149 RENE. 379 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,651 MY MOTHER HAS TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORSE. 380 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:22,654 - SHE CANNOT GET OUT OF BED! - SHE MUST. 381 00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:26,157 SHE IS OUR ONLY EXCUSE FOR GATHERING HERE TO RELEASE THE BALLOON. 382 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:30,162 IF THERE IS TO BE NO WEDDING, THEN I WILL HAVE TO CANCEL THE WHOLE OPERATION. 383 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,664 - GOOD IDEA. - I CANNOT WALK DOWN THE AISLE. 384 00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:35,166 MY FOOT IS SWOLLEN LIKE A POTATO. 385 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,669 YOU WILL HAVE TO HUBBLE ON ONE LOG. 386 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,673 UNDERSTAND THIS: IF THEY CANNOT MARRY, 387 00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,675 THEN YOU AND EDITH WILL HAVE TO GET MARRIED. 388 00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:46,678 WHATEVER HAPPENS, EVERYTHING MUST TAKE PLACE. 389 00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,681 DEAR EDITH, MUCH AS I LOVE YOU, 390 00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:52,183 THE FIRST PLANS ARE ALWAYS THE BEST. 391 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,686 THEY WILL BE THERE. WHERE ARE THE AIRMEN? 392 00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:58,690 THEY ARE DISGUISED SO THAT THEY WILL MERGE INTO THE BACKGROUND. 393 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,195 ( British accent ) IN HERE, CHAPS. 394 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,198 HALLO. 395 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:12,704 - HOW ABOUT A KISS FOR THE BRIDESMAIDS? - DON'T BE CHEEKY. 396 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,711 ( organ music playing ) 397 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:30,221 - THANK GOODNESS YOU ARE HERE. - WE HAD TO WALK ACROSS THE FIELDS. 398 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,731 OH, LOOK AT THOSE TWO IDIOTS. 399 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:44,235 PUT YOUR VEILS DOWN. 400 00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,738 - AND LIFT UP YOUR BOSOMS. - HANDS OFF! 401 00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:50,241 QUITE RIGHT. GIVE THE FROGGIES AN INCH, THEY TAKE A YARD. 402 00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:57,248 - WHERE IS LECLERC? - HE'S DOWN THERE. 403 00:21:57,249 --> 00:21:59,251 Edith: OH. HOW IS HIS FOOT? 404 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,753 OH, MICHELLE HAS GIVEN HIM PAINKILLERS AND BRANDY. 405 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:03,755 HE IS BEARING UP. 406 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:05,757 HE LOOKS AS IF HE IS PASSING OUT. 407 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:10,762 OH, HECK. 408 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:20,272 - COME ON, WAKE UP. - MARROWS. MARROWS. 409 00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,274 - WHO WILL BUY MY MARROWS? - SHUT UP, SHUT UP. 410 00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:24,276 SHUT UP! 411 00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,778 NOW WAKE UP. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR GREAT DAY. 412 00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:30,281 I CANNOT STAND UP WITHOUT HOLDING ONTO A CRUTCH. 413 00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:33,785 IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU HELD ONTO MY ARM. 414 00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:35,286 ( grunting ) 415 00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:43,795 ( chattering ) 416 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,472 MONSIEUR HUGO. 417 00:22:55,974 --> 00:22:58,476 AH. MONSIEUR SARTRE. 418 00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:02,981 OH. COLONEL, CAPTAIN, LIEUTENANT, HELGA. 419 00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:06,484 HOW NICE OF YOU TO COME. WE DID NOT EXPECT YOU. 420 00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:10,989 WE COULD NOT LET YOUR MOTHER MARRY WITHOUT PAYING OUR RESPECTS. 421 00:23:10,989 --> 00:23:12,991 AND WE CHECK-A WHERE TO PUT-A THE BOMB. 422 00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,496 HOW WELL THE CLOTHES OF THE BEST MAN 423 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:19,998 SUIT MONSIEUR RENE. 424 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:24,002 YOU CUT QUITE A DASHING FIGURE, RENE. 425 00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:26,504 THANK YOU, LIEUTENANT. 426 00:23:26,505 --> 00:23:30,008 DO WE COUNT YOU AS A FRIEND OF THE BRIDE OR A FRIEND OF THE GROOM? 427 00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:33,011 HOW ABOUT A FRIEND OF THE BEST MAN? 428 00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:49,027 - IS THE BRIDE HERE YET? - WELL, YOU WILL HAVE TO FORGIVE HER, 429 00:23:49,027 --> 00:23:52,030 SHE IS WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL "KNOCKING ON A BIT." 430 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,532 RENE, IT IS MONSIEUR ALFONSE. 431 00:23:57,536 --> 00:24:01,540 MADAME EDITH, YOUR MOTHER IS OUTSIDE IN THE HEARSE. 432 00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:05,543 AM I MARRYING OR BURYING? 433 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,549 PSST! LOOK. 434 00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:13,552 MONSIEUR LECLERC, HE HAS DROPPED OFF AGAIN. 435 00:24:13,552 --> 00:24:16,555 OH HECK. EDITH, LEND ME YOUR SMELLING SALTS. 436 00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:19,558 IT IS A WEDDING, FATHER, COME WITH ME. 437 00:24:26,064 --> 00:24:29,067 MONSIEUR LECLERC. MONSIEUR LECLERC, WAKE UP. 438 00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:33,071 UGH! MARROWS. MARROWS. 439 00:24:33,071 --> 00:24:35,073 SHUT UP. STAND UP. 440 00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:38,577 YOUR BRIDE IS HERE. 441 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,082 NOT AGAIN. 442 00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:52,090 ( "The Wedding March" playing ) 443 00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:29,127 DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER TO JOIN 444 00:25:29,127 --> 00:25:32,130 THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN IN HOLY MATRIMONY. 445 00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:36,134 NOT YET, MONSIEUR. 446 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:38,636 I'VE YET TO DO PAGES OF THE STUFF. 447 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:44,142 HE CANNOT STAND. 448 00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:57,155 I AM PUTTING THE MASSAGE ON THE LOG. 449 00:25:59,157 --> 00:26:02,160 THE MASSAGE IS NOW TIED TO THE LOG. 450 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,661 YOU CAN LUNCH IT. 451 00:26:03,662 --> 00:26:07,165 ONE, TWO, THROO... 452 00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:18,176 IT HAS CRIPPED ON YOUR HOD. 453 00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:27,185 DO YOU, ERNEST DIPSTICK LECLERC, 454 00:26:27,185 --> 00:26:30,688 TAKE THIS WOMAN TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE? 455 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:32,691 ( snores ) 456 00:26:32,691 --> 00:26:34,693 HE DOES. 457 00:26:36,194 --> 00:26:40,198 DO YOU, FANNY NOW-YOU-SEE-IT, NOW-YOU-DO-NOT LAFANNE, 458 00:26:40,198 --> 00:26:44,702 TAKE THIS MAN TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED HUSBAND? 459 00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:46,705 ( snores ) 460 00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:49,207 SHE DOES AS WELL. 461 00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:53,211 THEN I PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE. 462 00:26:55,213 --> 00:26:57,215 NOW YOU CAN GET INTO BED. 463 00:26:58,717 --> 00:27:00,719 ( "Bridal Chorus" playing ) 464 00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:13,231 WAKE UP, MAMA! 465 00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:17,235 - WHAT? - YOU ARE NOW MAN AND WIFE. 466 00:27:17,235 --> 00:27:21,239 - HE HAS DONE IT. - WHEN? 467 00:27:21,239 --> 00:27:23,241 WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP. 468 00:27:23,241 --> 00:27:26,244 ( chuckling ) 469 00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:28,746 THAT IS ERNEST ALL OVER. 470 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:32,250 ALWAYS THE IMPATIENT ONE. 471 00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,273 ( theme music playing )