1 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:06,072 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,096 I AM NOT NORMALLY A DRINKING MAN 3 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,098 ESPECIALLY AT HALF PAST 8:00 IN THE MORNING, 4 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,600 BUT MY NERVES ARE SHOT TO PIECES. 5 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:38,104 I FEEL LIKE A CAT WHO HAS USED UP EIGHT OF ITS NINE LIVES. 6 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:41,107 WHY AM I IN THIS STATE, I HEAR YOU ASK? 7 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:44,110 I WILL TELL YOU, I HEAR MYSELF REPLY. 8 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:49,115 FIRSTLY, I HAVE A CELLAR FULL OF 258 EXPLODING CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS. 9 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:52,618 SECONDLY, THE BRITISH AIRMEN WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE LAST NIGHT 10 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,621 ARE, NEEDLESS TO SAY, BACK HERE, 11 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,624 FOLLOWING YET ANOTHER BRITISH INTELLIGENCE COCK-UP! 12 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,125 BETWEEN YOU AND ME, 13 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,626 IF THERE WERE ENOUGH MONEY IN THAT TILL 14 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,128 I WOULD ELOPE WITH MY WAITRESS YVETTE 15 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,130 AND START A NEW LIFE. 16 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,132 SHE IS NEARLY 20 YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM, 17 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,634 SO, IT WOULD NOT BE A VERY LONG LIFE, 18 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,637 BUT IT WOULD BE A RATHER ENJOYABLE ONE. 19 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,139 RENE. 20 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:14,140 OH, WHAT? 21 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,641 MICHELLE IS IN THE BACK ROOM. 22 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,143 SHE WISHES TO SPEAK TO US ALL. 23 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:19,145 OH, NOT AGAIN, GIRLS. 24 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,147 DID SHE ASK YOU TO LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY? 25 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,649 OH, YES, SHE HAS ALREADY DONE THAT BIT. 26 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,152 GOOD, BECAUSE WE SHOULD BE OPENING SOON, YOU KNOW. 27 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,158 LONDON HAS COME UP WITH A BOLD AND DARING PLAN 28 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,659 TO GET THE BRITISH AIRMEN BACK TO ENGLAND. 29 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,161 I SEE. 30 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,163 WHAT HAREBRAINED SCHEME ARE THEY SUGGESTING THIS TIME? 31 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:40,166 ARE THEY SENDING A SUBMARINE UP THE CANAL AT MIDNIGHT? 32 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,668 IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET! 33 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,672 I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS. 34 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:47,674 BUT MICHELLE, 35 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,676 SURELY THE CANAL IS NOT DEEP ENOUGH. 36 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,177 DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE 37 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678 THE BRILLIANCE OF THE BRITISH NAVY. 38 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:56,182 TWO BRAVE SAILORS ARE BRINGING A MIDGET 2-MAN SUBMARINE. 39 00:01:56,182 --> 00:02:00,186 HOW DO YOU GET FOUR MEN INTO A 2-MAN SUBMARINE? 40 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:04,190 RENE, YOU FORGET THAT TWO OF THE MEN ARE MIDGETS. 41 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:07,193 NO, MADAME EDITH. THEY ARE NORMAL SAILORS. 42 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,695 IT IS THE SUBMARINE THAT IS A MIDGET. 43 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,197 WHERE DO THEY PUT THE AIRMEN? 44 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,200 THE AIRMEN WILL SIT ASTRIDE WEARING DIVING HELMETS. 45 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,205 IT IS A BOLD AND DARING PLAN. 46 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,208 AND WE HAVE NOT HAD EELS ON THE MENU FOR A LONG TIME. 47 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,210 WE WILL EXPLAIN IT TO THE AIRMEN. 48 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,711 COME. THEY ARE IN THE CELLAR. 49 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,715 WAIT. 50 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,218 NOW LISTEN TO ME, YVETTE. 51 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,720 I CAN NO LONGER STAND THE STRAIN OF THIS DANGEROUS LIFE. 52 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,223 WHY DO WE NOT JUST RUN AWAY TOGETHER? 53 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:38,224 WE WILL DO SO. 54 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,226 OH, RENE, PLEASE SAY YES. 55 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:42,228 I JUST SAID YES. 56 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,729 WHAT? 57 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,232 WE WILL GO TO SWITZERLAND, TAKE THE PAINTINGS, 58 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:49,235 AND HIDE IN THE MOUNTAINS UNTIL THE WAR IS OVER. 59 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,736 OH, RENE! 60 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,238 NOBODY MUST SUSPECT A THING. 61 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,740 FROM NOW ON WE WILL NOT EVEN TALK TO EACH OTHER. 62 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,743 WHEN I AM READY I WILL SEND YOU A NOTE 63 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,745 TELLING YOU THE TIME OF THE TRAIN. 64 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,747 OH, RENE, I AM SO HAPPY, 65 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,249 I CAN HARDLY CONTROL MYSELF. 66 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,251 THIS IS EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED. 67 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,753 LET US HAVE ONE LAST EMBRACE 68 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:09,255 BEFORE WE DO NOT SPEAK TO EACH OTHER AGAIN. 69 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,757 Both: AAH. 70 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,260 UNTIL THE TRAIN. 71 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,761 UNTIL THE TRAIN. 72 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,267 SHOP! 73 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,273 RENE, THERE HAS BEEN A SERIOUS DEVELOPMENT. 74 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,774 YOU ARE TO COME WITH ME 75 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,276 TO THE OFFICE OF COLONEL VON STROHM. 76 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:34,280 YOU ARE TO BRING WITH YOU THE TWO KNOCKWURST SAUSAGES CONTAINING THE PORTRAIT 77 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,282 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES BY VON CLOMP, 78 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:39,285 AND THE CRACKED VASE WITH THE BIG DAISIES BY VAN GOGH. 79 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,287 I SEE. 80 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,289 I AM JUST ABOUT TO OPEN AT THE MOMENT, 81 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:46,292 BUT I PROMISE I WILL POP ROUND WITHOUT FAIL BEFORE TEATIME. 82 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,294 GUARDS, COME IN HERE! 83 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,800 HELGA, WHAT IS GOING ON? 84 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,803 ESCORT THIS MAN AND THE TWO SAUSAGES 85 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,305 TO THE OFFICE OF THE TOWN COMMANDANT. 86 00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:01,307 I WILL GET THE SAUSAGES. 87 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:02,308 STAY CLOSE TO HIM. 88 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,322 COLONEL, 89 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,324 RENE IS OUTSIDE WITH THE SAUSAGES. 90 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:19,825 BRING HIM IN. 91 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,828 BRING HIM IN HERE! 92 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:28,835 YOU MAY GO. 93 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,839 NOT YOU! 94 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,343 GOOD MORNING, COLONEL. 95 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,845 THESE WERE PERFECTLY SAFE IN MY LARDER 96 00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,347 UNTIL AFTER THE WAR, YOU KNOW. 97 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,849 WE CANNOT KEEP THEM UNTIL AFTER THE WAR. 98 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,852 THE GENERAL HAS BEEN ORDERED BY HITLER 99 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,353 TO SEND THEM AT ONCE TO BERLIN. 100 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:51,357 FORTUNATELY, I ALSO BROUGHT THE TWO FORGERIES. 101 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,858 HITLER IS TAKING NO CHANCES. 102 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,862 HE IS SENDING AN ART EXPERT TO AUTHENTICATE THE PAINTINGS. 103 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,863 IF WE DO NOT PRODUCE THEM, 104 00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:59,365 WE WILL ALL BE SENT TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT. 105 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:02,368 COLONEL, HE HAS MADE THAT THREAT BEFORE MANY TIMES. 106 00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,370 THIS TIME IT'S SERIOUS. 107 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,872 WE'VE ALREADY BEEN FITTED OUT WITH CLOTHES. 108 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,375 - ( knock at door ) - COME IN, GRUBER! 109 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:17,884 COLONEL, 110 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,888 THE OUTFIT IS READY FOR YOU NOW. 111 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,389 DON'T WORRY, GRUBER, 112 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:24,890 RENE HAS BROUGHT US THE PAINTINGS. 113 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,893 THIS IS A GREAT RELIEF. 114 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,895 I DID NOT FANCY MARCHING 115 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,897 ALL THE WAY TO MOSCOW 116 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,399 WITH TENNIS RACQUETS ON MY FEET. 117 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,900 PAINTINGS ON THE TABLE. 118 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,903 BUT WE WERE GOING TO SELL THE PAINTINGS 119 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,405 TO KEEP US ALL AFTER THE WAR. 120 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,407 THAT, RENE, IS ALL IN THE PAST. 121 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,909 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 122 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,412 THERE IS WORSE TO COME. THE GENERAL HAS DEMANDED 123 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,414 WE SHOOT THE PEASANT WHO BEEN HIDING THEM. 124 00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,420 BUT I AM THE PE... YOU WOULD NOT SHOOT ME! 125 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,921 DO NOT WORRY, RENE. 126 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,925 WE HAVE KNOWN YOU A LONG TIME. 127 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,928 WE ALL FEEL VERY CLOSE TO YOU. 128 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,931 WE HAVE DECIDED TO ALLOW YOU TO ESCAPE. 129 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,933 THANK YOU, COLONEL. 130 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,935 WE ARE GOING TO GIVE YOU 60 SECONDS START, 131 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,436 COMMENCING NOW. GO. 132 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,939 RENE, NOT THIS WAY. 133 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,441 THROUGH THE WINDOW, OVER THE BALCONY, 134 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:18,444 - DOWN THE IVY. - EIGHT, NINE, 10, 135 00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:20,446 11, 12, 13, 136 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,447 14, 15... 137 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:23,949 COULD YOU START THE CLOCK AGAIN? 138 00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:26,953 ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR... 139 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,220 THANK YOU, UNCLE. 140 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,223 THAT IS ALL I WISHED TO KNOW. 141 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,226 I HAVE JUST BEEN ON THE TELEPHONE 142 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,728 TO MY GODFATHER, HEINRICH HIMMLER. 143 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:39,231 HE INFORMS ME THAT HITLER COULD NOT HAVE TELEPHONED 144 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,734 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN, BECAUSE FOR THE LAST WEEK 145 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,736 HE HAS BEEN SHACKED UP IN A TENT 146 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,237 DEEP IN THE BLACK FOREST, 147 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:49,242 HAVING THE SECRET NOOKY WITH EVA BRAUN. 148 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,744 I ALWAYS THOUGHT HITLER WAS FAR ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING. 149 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,747 ON THE CONTRARY. HE IS CRUMPET MAD. 150 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,251 THE GENERAL IS UP TO SOMETHING. 151 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,253 WHERE IS THE PAINTING NOW? 152 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,256 IT IS ALREADY IN THE GENERAL'S POSSESSION. 153 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,757 A SWEDISH ART EXPERT 154 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,760 HAS ARRIVED FROM SWITZERLAND TO VERIFY IT. 155 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,763 IT WILL THEN BE TRANSPORTED BY TRAIN TO BERLIN. 156 00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,265 VON SMALLHAUSEN, COME HERE! 157 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,272 YOU YELLED FOR ME, HERR FLICK? 158 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,274 DO YOU HAVE UPON YOUR PERSON 159 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,776 YOUR POCKET GESTAPO RAILWAY TIMETABLE? 160 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,278 - YES, HERR FLICK. - GOOD. 161 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,282 VON SMALLHAUSEN AND I WILL BE ON THIS TRAIN. 162 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,285 WE WILL RECOVER THE PAINTING. 163 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,787 WE WILL SELL IT AND THEN WE WILL RUN AWAY 164 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,789 TO A TROPICAL ISLAND. 165 00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,291 THERE WE WILL LEAD A SIMPLE LIFE TOGETHER, 166 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,794 DRESSED IN BANANA LEAVES, AS WE FROLIC IN THE SURF 167 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,796 UNDER THE WARM SUN. 168 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,798 DOES THIS APPEAL TO YOU? 169 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,800 ALL EXCEPT THE SEA. 170 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,305 I AM NOT A VERY GOOD SWIMMER. 171 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,812 ( knock on door ) 172 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,815 COLONEL, THE GENERAL IS ON HIS WAY 173 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,317 AND THE SWEDISH ART EXPERT IS OUTSIDE. 174 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,819 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE TELEPHONE? 175 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,822 WITH A SMALL PIECE OF CHEWING GUM, 176 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,824 I HAVE FIXED THE CRADLE 177 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:14,326 SO I CAN HEAR ON HELGA'S PHONE 178 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,829 EVERY WORD THAT'S SPOKEN. 179 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:17,830 I SEE. 180 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,332 AND FOR WHAT REASON ARE WE DOING THIS? 181 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:23,336 WE MUST FIND OUT ON WHICH TRAIN THE PAINTINGS ARE LEAVING. 182 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,842 - HEIL HITLER! - HEIL HITLER. 183 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:30,843 COME IN HERE WITH ME. 184 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,845 THIS IS THE WELL-KNOWN SWEDISH ART EXPERT, 185 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,848 YOOP HOOP DE HOOP. 186 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:39,852 DELIGHTED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE IN PERSON. 187 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,354 - WHERE ARE THE PAINTINGS? - ON THE TABLE, GENERAL. 188 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,857 GOOD. EXAMINE THEM. 189 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,359 YOU TWO, WAIT OUTSIDE. 190 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,361 YES, GENERAL. 191 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:58,370 YOU WILL STAY 10 FEET AWAY FROM THE KEYHOLE. 192 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,873 - SIT BEHIND THE DESK. - YES, GENERAL. 193 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,374 WAIT HERE UNTIL I RETURN. 194 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,885 DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO FALL FOR THE OLD CHEWING GUM ON THE PHONE TRICK. 195 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,893 GRUBER, QUICK, OUTSIDE. 196 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,895 GET TO THE WINDOW, UP THE IVY. 197 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,397 IT BEING SUCH AN IMPORTANT MISSION, 198 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,899 WOULD YOU NOT PREFER TO DO THIS YOURSELF? 199 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,401 I'M TOO HEAVY FOR THE IVY. 200 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,904 THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. 201 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,406 I'D STAKE MY REPUTATION THAT BOTH OF THESE 202 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,410 ARE THE AUTHENTIC WORKS OF THE MASTERS. 203 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,414 MY CLIENT WILL BE MOST SATISFIED. 204 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,916 GOOD. I AM PLEASED TO HEAR IT. 205 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:47,419 NOW TO THE LITTLE MATTER OF A MILLION IN GOLD BARS. 206 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,422 I WILL BE MOST HAPPY TO HAND THEM TO YOU. 207 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,926 HMM. THAT WOULD SEEM TO BE CORRECT. 208 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,427 THE PAINTINGS ARE YOURS. 209 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,431 I WILL TAKE THEM PERSONALLY TO GENEVA. 210 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,932 WILL THAT BE SAFE? 211 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,934 THE NIGHT EXPRESS TO GENEVA 212 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,436 HAS IN ITS GUARD'S VAN A SAFE. 213 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,938 MY DESTINATION AND MISSION 214 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,941 ARE KNOWN ONLY TO YOU AND TO MY CLIENT. 215 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,443 I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 216 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,945 HEIL HITLER! 217 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,947 GENERAL, DO ME A FAVOR. 218 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,456 YOU MAY HAVE YOUR OFFICE BACK. I HAVE FINISHED WITH IT. 219 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,958 - HEIL HITLER! - HEIL HITLER! 220 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,464 GRUBER! GRUBER! 221 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,965 DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING? 222 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,967 HELGA! 223 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,468 WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE? 224 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,971 JUST ORDINARY EAVESDROPPING, COLONEL. 225 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,472 I WAS HOPING TO DISCOVER 226 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,475 THE DESTINATION OF OUR PAINTINGS. 227 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,476 DID YOU FIND ANYTHING OUT? 228 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,977 HAPPILY, YES. 229 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,478 WHERE'S GRUBER? 230 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,482 ( Gruber shouting ) I AM CLINGING TO SOME IVY! 231 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,652 ( desk bell rings ) 232 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,155 GOOD MOANING. 233 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,157 YES, YES, GOOD MOANING. OFFICER CRABTREE, 234 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:00,159 YOU MUST DO SOMETHING, THE COLONEL IS AFTER ME. 235 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,661 RONNY, DO NOT WIRRY. 236 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,664 THE COLONEL HAS ISSUED ME 237 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,166 WITH A PHOTOFART PICTURE OF YOU. 238 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,168 LOOK. 239 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,172 IT IS NOTHING LIKE ME! 240 00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:15,174 EXOCTLY! 241 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,176 IT LOOKS MORE LIKE JAN THE BOPTIST. 242 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,179 ( footsteps approaching ) 243 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,680 SOMEBODY IS COMING. 244 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,683 IT IS GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN! 245 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,185 - HIDE ME! - QUICK, UNDER THE CINTER. 246 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,193 HEIL HITLER! 247 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:37,196 HOLE HOTLER! 248 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,698 THE SAFE IN MY CHATEAU HAS BEEN BLOWN UP 249 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,701 BY THE RESISTANCE. I AM THEREFORE 250 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,704 REQUISITIONING THE SAFE IN THE POLICE STATION. WHERE IS THE KEY? 251 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,207 IT IS HANGING ON A NIL ON THE WOLL. 252 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,712 I DO NOT WISH YOU TO SEE WHAT I PLACE IN THE SAFE. 253 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,214 IT IS TOP SECRET. 254 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,717 I WILL GO BEHIND THIS DEER IN THE BACK PISSAGE. 255 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,743 YOU MAY RETURN. 256 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,247 IS THERE ANOTHER KEY? 257 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:31,250 OF CURSE, I ALWAYS CARRY A SPEAR. 258 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,751 GIVE IT TO ME. 259 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,256 IF YOU TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS, YOU WILL BE SHOT. 260 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,259 MY LIPS ARE SOILED. 261 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,762 HEIL HITLER! 262 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,269 DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE JUST PUT IN THAT SAFE? 263 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,771 I WAS NOT IN A POSITION TO SUE. 264 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,774 GOLD! GOLD BARS! 265 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,776 A FORTUNE IN GOLD BARS! 266 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,778 GOOD GID! 267 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,280 AND HE HAS TAKEN BOTH THE KEYS! 268 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,283 THAT IS NO PRIBLEM. I HAVE MORE KEYS. 269 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,788 FARTEEN OF THEM. 270 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,291 THE OTHER POLOCEMEN KEEP THEIR WILLETS IN THE SAFE 271 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,793 IN CASE WE GET BIGGLED. 272 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,797 ( telephone rings ) 273 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,298 I EXPECT SOMEBODY HAS DIALED 274 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,300 NOON, NOON, NOON. 275 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,303 NOUVION POLOCE. 276 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,804 YES. 277 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,807 MMM. 278 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,308 YES. 279 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,311 A PISSY UP A TREE? 280 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:40,319 OH, A SIAMESE PISSY. 281 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:44,323 OFFER IT A PLATE OF SARDOONS, THAT SHOULD BRING IT DIN. 282 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,829 OH, VERY WELL, I WILL COME AT WINCE 283 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,832 AND BRING A LIDDER. 284 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,107 I HAVE NICKED 285 00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:04,609 A FORTUNE IN GOLD. 286 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:07,112 WE MUST LEAVE TONIGHT 287 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,114 FOR OUR LOVE NEST 288 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,116 IN THE MOUNTAINS. 289 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:14,119 BE ON THE 11:15 290 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,121 GENEVA EXPRESS. 291 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,629 HERE IS THE TICKET FOR THE SLEEPER. 292 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,632 YOUR OWN, RENE. 293 00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:29,634 ( kissing sound ) 294 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,641 MONSIEUR LeCLERC. 295 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,147 OH, RENE. 296 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,149 GOOD, YOU ARE SAFE. 297 00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:45,650 FOR THE MOMENT, AT LEAST. 298 00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,654 I WANT YOU TO GIVE THIS NOTE SECRETLY TO YVETTE. 299 00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,657 - SECRET, SHH, SHH. - I AM ELOPING TO SWITZERLAND. 300 00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,659 AHH. WITH YVETTE? 301 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:57,663 - WITH YVETTE. - OOH, OOH! 302 00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,667 WHAT ABOUT MADAME EDITH? 303 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,669 SHE WILL BE HEARTBROKEN. 304 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,672 YES, YOU ARE RIGHT. I WILL WRITE HER 305 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,674 A TENDER NOTE TO SAY GOODBYE. 306 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,676 GOODBYE. 307 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:18,183 IT IS BEST FOR BOTH OF US THAT I LEAVE YOU. 308 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,685 DO NOT GRIEVE FOR ME. 309 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,189 MONSIEUR ALPHONSE WILL MAKE YOU A FINE HUSBAND. 310 00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:26,691 YOURS FAITHFULLY, 311 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,694 RENE ARTOIS. 312 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:35,200 YOU WANT I SHOULD GIVE IT TO HER? 313 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,701 THERE. HANG ON. 314 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,204 - I WILL PUT HER NAME ON IT. - IT IS NOT NECESSARY. 315 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:43,208 I AM NOT STUPID. THIS ONE IS BUFF, 316 00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,210 FOR YOUR BIT OF STUFF. 317 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:46,711 ( laughs ) 318 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,214 WELL, UNTIL THE WAR IS OVER... 319 00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:54,219 - FAREWELL. - FAREWELL, RENE. 320 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,224 THIS ONE IS FOR-- 321 00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:02,227 THERE YOU ARE. TWO TICKETS TO DIJON 2nd CLASS. 322 00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,729 IT IS WAITING ON PLATFORM 3. HURRY UP. 323 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:09,734 MONSIEUR? 324 00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:12,237 I ALREADY HAVE MY TICKET, 11:15 FOR GENEVA. 325 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:13,738 THAT IS ONE HOUR EARLY. 326 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:17,242 - I DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT. - THE WAITING ROOM IS OPEN. 327 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,744 AH, YES! 328 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:23,248 ( sings off-key ) ♪ AND THAT IS THE END ♪ 329 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:28,253 ♪ OF MY SONG. ♪ 330 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,755 ( customers moan ) 331 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,263 IS THERE ANY NEWS OF RENE? 332 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,764 NOT A WHISPER. 333 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,767 IT IS THE FIRST TIME THAT THE COLONEL 334 00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,769 AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER HAVE NOT BEEN HERE. 335 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,771 WHERE CAN THEY ALL BE? 336 00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:47,272 MADAME EDITH, 337 00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,275 I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS UNTIL YOU FINISHED YOUR SONG, 338 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:52,277 BUT I HAVE A NOTE FOR YOU. 339 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,779 WHERE IS IT? 340 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,281 UH, IT IS IN MY JACKET. 341 00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,282 I WILL GET IT FOR YOU. 342 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:02,287 NOW WHICH ONE IS WHICH? 343 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:03,788 UH, THIS ONE IS BUFF, 344 00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,291 FOR THE BIT OF OLD ROUGH. 345 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,295 IT IS FROM RENE. 346 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,804 Rene's voice: "I HAVE NICKED A FORTUNE IN GOLD. 347 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,808 WE MUST LEAVE TONIGHT FOR OUR LOVE NEST IN THE MOUNTAINS. 348 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:26,311 BE ON THE 11:15 GENEVA EXPRESS. 349 00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,813 HERE IS THE TICKET FOR THE SLEEPER. 350 00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:31,817 YOUR OWN, RENE. ( kissing sound )" 351 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,324 ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. 352 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,329 ( register rings ) 353 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,335 HE IS A WONDERFUL MAN. 354 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:57,342 SHE HAS TAKEN IT VERY WELL. 355 00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,344 OH, YVETTE! 356 00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:03,348 THIS ONE IS WHITE, 357 00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:06,351 FOR THE BIT OF ALL RIGHT. 358 00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:10,355 YVETTE, I HAVE A NOTE FROM RENE FOR YOU. 359 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:11,356 OH, THANK YOU! 360 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:21,366 Rene's voice: "GOODBYE. 361 00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,868 IT IS BEST FOR BOTH OF US THAT I LEAVE YOU. 362 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,871 DO NOT GRIEVE FOR ME. 363 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,373 MONSIEUR ALPHONSE WILL MAKE YOU A FINE HUSBAND. 364 00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:34,879 YOURS FAITHFULLY, RENE ARTOIS." 365 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,382 YOU DIRTY OLD MAN! 366 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,883 I WOULDN'T MARRY YOU 367 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,385 IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH! 368 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:47,893 ALL I ASKED FOR WAS A BLOODY MARY. 369 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,399 RENE! 370 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,402 HE HAS LEFT ME A NOTE. 371 00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:59,904 "I HAVE NICKED A FORTUNE IN GOLD." 372 00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,910 ( Rene whispers ) "I HAVE NICKED A FORTUNE IN GOLD... 373 00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:06,912 ( voice mumbles ) 374 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:09,915 ... YOUR OWN, RENE. ( kissing sound )" 375 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,419 "( kissing sound )" 376 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:17,422 I WILL FOLLOW HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. 377 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:29,334 WHO ARE YOU? 378 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,836 I AM THE GUARD FOR THE GENEVA EXPRESS. 379 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,840 BUT I AM THE GUARD FOR THE GENEVA EXPRESS. 380 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,343 THE UNION HAS NEGOTIATED SHORTER HOURS. 381 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,345 THREE CHEERS FOR THE TRANSPORT AND GENERAL. 382 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:57,362 ( sultry ) I HAVE RESERVED ONE FIRST CLASS SLEEPER 383 00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,863 FOR GENEVA, PLEASE. 384 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,365 NAME? 385 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,869 MADAME X. 386 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,379 PSST, HELGA! COME HERE. 387 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:19,885 NOW REMEMBER, 388 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,387 YOU WILL DISTRACT THE SWEDISH PAINTING EXPERT 389 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,889 WHILE WE SWITCH THE PAINTINGS IN THE GUARD'S VAN. 390 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,391 VERY GOOD, COLONEL. 391 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,392 WHERE'S GRUBER? 392 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:30,895 I THINK I SAW HIM OUTSIDE. 393 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:34,900 GRUBER, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A DINING CAR ATTENDANT. 394 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,402 I COULD NOT ACQUIRE THE UNIFORM. 395 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,404 HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE FORGED PAINTINGS? 396 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,406 THEY ARE HERE IN MY LONG LUNCH BOX. 397 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,408 ONE FIRST CLASS SLEEPER FOR GENEVA. 398 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,910 HELGA, 399 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,913 YOU SEE THAT MAN? 400 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:48,914 THAT IS THE QUARRY. 401 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,415 YOU WILL FOLLOW HIM. 402 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,917 WHEN HE HAS PUT THE PAINTINGS 403 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,420 INTO THE SAFE IN THE GUARD'S VAN, 404 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,423 YOU WILL INSINUATE YOURSELF INTO HIS COMPARTMENT, 405 00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,924 YOU WILL DRUG HIS WINE 406 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,927 AND GET FROM HIM THE KEYS OF THE SAFE 407 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,428 WHICH WILL BE IN HIS POSSESSION. 408 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,429 VERY GOOD, COLONEL. 409 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,431 ( train whistle blows ) 410 00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:07,932 THAT WILL BE THE TRAIN NOW. 411 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,935 QUICK, GO! 412 00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,948 MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC ARE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE. 413 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,952 WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE GESTAPO. 414 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,954 TAKE OFF YOUR JACKETS AND LEAVE THE TRAIN. 415 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,455 BUT IT IS MOVING! 416 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,457 THEN YOU HAD BETTER START RUNNING 417 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:34,459 BEFORE YOU TOUCH THE GROUND. 418 00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,976 HELLO. 419 00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,979 GOOD EVENING. 420 00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:56,481 I AM PLACING THIS PACKAGE 421 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,484 OF VERY LITTLE VALUE... 422 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,487 IN THIS, UH... 423 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,988 DEPOSIT BOX. 424 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,991 WE WILL KEEP AN EYE ON IT. 425 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:09,494 WE WILL GUARD IT WITH OUR LIVES. 426 00:22:09,494 --> 00:22:12,997 WE WILL ALSO TAKE CARE OF THE KEY IF YOU WISH. 427 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,501 I PREFER TO ATTACH IT TO MY PERSON. 428 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,018 4B. THAT IS THE ONE. 429 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,530 IS THAT YOU? 430 00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,532 YES, MY LOVE. 431 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:52,537 THERE IS A WONDERFUL SMELL OF PERFUME. 432 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:56,040 I HAVE POURED A WHOLE BOTTLE OVER MYSELF. 433 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:59,044 I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. 434 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:04,049 YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL. 435 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,052 CAN YOU GET UP WITHOUT A LADDER? 436 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,054 HOPEFULLY. 437 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:15,560 THIS IS THE FIRST NIGHT OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. 438 00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:21,066 RENE, 439 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:24,069 I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. 440 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,571 NEITHER CAN I. 441 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:32,577 ( theme music playing )