1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:06,072
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:17,083
( playing theme music )
3
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,092
SOME OF YOU MAY BE
ITCHING TO KNOW
4
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,594
WHY I AM SITTING
AT THE PIANO.
5
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:31,097
THE REASON IS SAD BUT SIMPLE.
6
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,099
AFTER AN EXCITING CHASE,
7
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,101
MONSIEUR LECLERC,
OUR REGULAR PIANIST,
8
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,603
HAS JUST BEEN ARRESTED
BY THE GESTAPO
9
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ON SUSPICION OF CONCEALING
10
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975,000 FORGED FRANCS
11
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DOWN HIS TROUSERS.
12
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AT THE TIME OF HIS ARREST
13
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HE WAS DISGUISED
AS A PILLOW STUFFER
14
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WITH...
15
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WITH FEATHERS IN HIS HAT,
16
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BECAUSE HE WAS DELIVERING
TWO PARACHUTES
17
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TO HELP THE BRITISH AIRMEN
ESCAPE INSIDE
18
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TWO DUMMY LAND MINES
WHICH ARE TO BE ATTACHED
19
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TO A GERMAN BOMBER
AND DROPPED OVER LONDON.
20
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THIS SIMPLE LITTLE PLOT
21
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WAS HATCHED BY
BRITISH INTELLIGENCE
22
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IN BETWEEN DOING CROSSWORD
PUZZLES AND READING A PAPER
23
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WHICH I BELIEVE
TO BE CALLED "THE BEANO."
24
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RENE,
25
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- HERE IS MY MUSIC.
- AH.
26
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HOW GOOD IT IS
TO SEE YOU
27
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AT THE PIANO
ONCE MORE.
28
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DO YOU REMEMBER THE WAY
YOU USED TO PLAY FOR ME WHEN WE FIRST MET?
29
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I PLAYED IN ALL THE BARS
IN THOSE DAYS.
30
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I WAS KNOW
AS SYNCOPATED SYDNEY.
31
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OH, PLAY FOR ME
ONCE AGAIN, RENE.
32
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:45,171
♪ I LOVE YOU AS I'VE
NEVER LOVED BEFORE ♪
33
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( off-key )
♪ LOVED BEFORE ♪
34
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♪ SINCE FIRST I MET YOU
ON THE VILLAGE GREEN ♪
35
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♪ VILLAGE GREEN ♪
36
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♪ COME TO ME ERE MY DREAM
OF LIFE IS O'ER ♪
37
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♪ LIFE IS O'ER ♪
38
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♪ I LOVE YOU
AS I LOVED YOU ♪
39
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♪ WHEN YOU WERE SWEET ♪
40
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Both:
♪ WHEN WE WERE SWEET ♪
41
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♪ SIXTEEN. ♪
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OH, RENE, HOW IT ALL
COMES FLOODING BACK.
43
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JUST LIKE A TYPHOON.
44
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DO YOU REMEMBER THE WAY
I USED TO SING FOR YOU
45
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UNDER THE OLD WILLOW TREE
BY THE RIVER?
46
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OH, YES INDEED.
47
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:32,719
THE TROUBLE I HAD
LUGGING THIS PIANO DOWN THERE.
48
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,221
WHY DO WE NOT
GET MARRIED AGAIN, RENE?
49
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( Rene plays bad notes )
50
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WHAT HAVE WE GOT TO LOSE?
51
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WELL...
52
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ARE YOU AFRAID I MIGHT
RUN OFF WITH A YOUNGER MAN?
53
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,234
THAT COULD BE
ONE OF THE PROBLEMS, YES.
54
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I WOULD NOT DO IT.
55
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,740
I AM IN THE AUTUMN
OF MY LIFE.
56
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THERE IS THE HAMMER TOE
ON MY RIGHT FOOT,
57
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THE BUNION ON MY LEFT,
58
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AND THE FIRST MURMURINGS
OF SCIATICA IN MY RIGHT HIP.
59
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YOU MIGHT STILL HOBBLE OFF
WITH A YOUNGER MAN.
60
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I PROMISE YOU, RENE,
61
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I WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE
24 HOURS A DAY.
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WHAT DO YOU SAY?
63
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,762
EDITH,
64
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EDITH, I DO NOT
KNOW ONE MAN
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WHO COULD RESIST
SUCH AN OFFER,
66
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BUT YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN
DENISE LAROQUE,
67
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THE LEADER OF
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
68
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SHE IS WILD ABOUT ME.
69
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SHE WOULD KILL
ANY WOMAN WHOSE LIPS
70
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EVEN BRUSHED
AGAINST MINE.
71
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OH, RENE,
YOU ARE MY WONDER MAN.
72
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ALWAYS YOU THINK
ONLY OF ME.
73
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OH, LET ME KISS
THOSE MAGIC FINGERS.
74
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ONE OF DENISE'S FRIENDS
MIGHT SEE US THROUGH THE WINDOW.
75
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,734
I HAVE GOOD NEWS,
HERR FLICK.
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I HAVE FINALLY CAUGHT
THE WANDERING PILLOW STUFFER.
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HE IS OUTSIDE.
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THEN BRING HIM IN.
79
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BRING THE PRISONER
IN HERE!
80
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LEAVE US.
81
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I SUPPOSE YOU THOUGHT
BECAUSE VAN SMALLHAUSEN
82
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WAS VERY SMALL
AND WALKED WITH A LIMP
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THAT YOU COULD OUTPACE HIM.
84
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,266
LITTLE DO YOU KNOW
HE WAS THE CROSS-COUNTRY
85
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LIMPING CHAMPION
OF WESTPHALIA.
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LISTEN TO ME,
PILLOW STUFFER.
87
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AN ANONYMOUS PERSON
INFORMED US ON THE TELEPHONE
88
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THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING
OF GREAT VALUE IN YOUR TROUSERS.
89
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WAS IT MADAME LENARE
FROM THE DRESS SHOP?
90
00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:00,299
WE ARE NOT CONCERNED WITH
THE IDENTITY OF THE INFORMANT.
91
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,302
BERLIN, HOWEVER,
IS INTERESTED IN
92
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THE CONTENTS
OF YOUR TROUSERS.
93
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THE WHOLE OF BERLIN,
OR JUST HITLER?
94
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,813
TAKE THEM OFF!
95
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IF YOU PLEASE, SIR,
I WOULD RATHER NOT.
96
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,819
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
97
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:20,820
YES, HERR FLICK.
98
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REMOVE THE TROUSERS.
99
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,325
YES, HERR FLICK.
100
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,835
NOT YOU, THE PRISONER.
101
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YES, HERR FLICK.
102
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VERY WELL.
103
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I WILL DO THIS
104
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UNDER PROTEST.
105
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WHAT DO YOU THINK,
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
106
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RATHER DISAPPOINTING,
HERR FLICK.
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WHERE IS IT?
108
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WHERE IS WHAT?
109
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THE FORGED MONEY.
110
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I KNOW NOTHING
OF ANY FORGED MONEY.
111
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LOCK HIM UP WHILE I DECIDE
WHAT TO DO WITH HIM.
112
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BUT IF I COULD...
113
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YES, GENERAL.
114
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OF COURSE, GENERAL.
115
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IT IS INDEED
TERRIBLE NEWS, GENERAL.
116
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YOU MAY RELY ON ME
TO ACT INSTANTLY.
117
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THE RESISTANCE HAVE STOLEN
TWO OF OUR LATEST LAND MINES.
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NOT THE MARK VI?
119
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THE MARK VI.
120
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( spits; cuspidor rings )
121
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THOSE DAMNED RESISTANCE PEOPLE
ARE GETTING VERY CHEEKY.
122
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THEY MAKE YOU LOOK
THE RIGHT MONKEY, NO?
123
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,411
( cuspidor rings )
124
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,415
I THINK MAYBE
THEY BLOW YOU UP.
125
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WE MUST FIND
THESE LAND MINES AT ONCE.
126
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,418
( spits )
127
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,425
IN CASE THEY PLAN
TO BLOW UP YOUR PLACE,
128
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I THINK I GO TO MY PLACE.
129
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A TYPICAL WOP REACTION.
130
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WE FACE BEING BLOWN UP
24 HOURS A DAY,
131
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DON'T WE, GRUBER?
132
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I PREFER NOT
TO THINK ABOUT IT.
133
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DO YOU SEE ME TWITCHING?
134
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,942
DO YOU SEE ME
LOOKING NERVOUS?
135
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,945
NO. I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.
136
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AAAGH!
137
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IT IS ALL RIGHT,
COLONEL,
138
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IT WAS ONLY
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI.
139
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SILLY SCHOOLBOY PRANK.
140
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,460
COLONEL,
I HAVE SERIOUS NEWS.
141
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WHAT IS IT, HELGA?
142
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,965
IN HIS QUEST FOR THE MISSING
GESTAPO FORGED FRANCS,
143
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HERR FLICK HAS ARRESTED
THE OLD PIANO PLAYER FROM THE CAFE.
144
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,971
WHAT'S SERIOUS ABOUT THAT?
HE'S ONLY A FRENCHMAN.
145
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,474
TWO MINUTES BEFORE
HE WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME,
146
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,477
BERTORELLI,
ITALIAN WAR HERO.
147
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,479
SOMEBODY,
HE TELL THE GESTAPO
148
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,981
I HAVE 975,000 FRANCS
149
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,482
DOWN MY TROUSERS.
150
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,986
HERR FLICK HAS ANNOUNCED THAT
IF THE MONEY IS NOT RETURNED,
151
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,488
THE PIANIST WILL BE TAKEN
TO THE TOWN SQUARE AND SHOT.
152
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,990
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
153
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,491
THE MONEY'S AT THE CAFE.
154
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,994
RENE CAN RETURN IT
ANONYMOUSLY.
155
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,495
CAPTAIN BERTORELLI,
156
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,998
WHERE PRECISELY
DID YOU PUT IT?
157
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,499
ONE OF THE WAITRESSES,
158
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,001
THE ONE WITH
THE LITTLE BODY
159
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AND THE BIG MOUTH,
160
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,005
SHE STUFF IT
INSIDE THE OVEN.
161
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,008
GRUBER, WHAT IS
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH RENE?
162
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,010
I THINK HE TRUSTS ME.
163
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,015
IT IS POSSIBLE
HE KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT THE LAND MINES.
164
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,516
GO AND SEE HIM.
165
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,520
HELP HIM GET THE MONEY
BACK TO THE GESTAPO.
166
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,022
WORM YOUR WAY
INTO HIS CONFIDENCE.
167
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,024
HE MIGHT DROP SOMETHING.
168
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,528
WE CAN BUT HOPE.
169
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,701
MAMMA!
170
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,202
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT OF BED?
171
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,706
TOO LONG I HAVE BEEN
UP IN THAT ROOM
172
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,709
STARVING ON
WHAT YOU GIVE ME.
173
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:07,713
SO I AM COOKING MYSELF
A BIG BAKED POTATO.
174
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,716
OH, MAMMA,
YOU ARE A WONDER.
175
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,719
EDITH, WE HAVE CUSTOMERS.
176
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:18,224
WHAT IS THIS OLD BAT
DOING DOWN HERE?
177
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,727
IS IT NOT WONDERFUL, RENE?
HER APPETITE HAS RETURNED.
178
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,729
SHE IS GOING TO HAVE
A BIG BAKED POTATO.
179
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,230
POTATO?
180
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,732
WHERE DID SHE GET IT?
181
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:28,233
WHERE DID YOU
GET IT FROM?
182
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,236
YOU CONCEALED IT
FROM ME--
183
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,239
FROM BEHIND THE CISTERN
IN THE BATHROOM.
184
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,742
INSIDE THAT POTATO
IS THE SPY CAMERA
185
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,244
FOR PHOTOGRAPHING
THE GERMAN INVASION PLANS.
186
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,747
- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT?
- IT IS IN THE OVEN!
187
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:44,249
THE FORGED MONEY
IS IN THE OVEN!
188
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,255
MY GOD!
189
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,756
( coughing )
190
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,767
IS IT DONE?
191
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,772
DONE?
192
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,774
YOU HAVE JUST BURNED
A SPY CAMERA
193
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,776
AND 1,000,000 FRANCS.
194
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,779
DO NOT WORRY, RENE,
IT WAS FORGED MONEY.
195
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,781
IT IS THE CAMERA
I AM WORRIED ABOUT.
196
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,283
WELL, I AM NOT TO BLAME.
I SHALL TELL THE RESISTANCE
197
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,787
THAT IT WAS THIS
DEAF OLD CRONE THAT DID IT.
198
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,790
THEN I SHALL
TELL THE GERMANS ABOUT THE PAINTINGS,
199
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,792
AND THE AIRMEN,
200
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,295
AND THE STOLEN
LAND MINES.
201
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,298
HA HA HA--
202
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,300
I CAN FINGER YOU,
BUDDY,
203
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,303
AND GET YOU SENT
TO THE BIG HOUSE JUST LIKE THAT!
204
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,808
IS THERE NO END
TO THE EVIL IN THIS WOMAN?
205
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,811
GET HER BACK TO HER BEDROOM
AND BUNG UP HER EAR TRUMPET.
206
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,815
RENE, THAT BRITISH IDIOT
WHO THINKS HE CAN SPEAK FRENCH
207
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,317
IS IN THE CAFE.
HE IS ASKING FOR YOU.
208
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,320
OH MY GOD.
209
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,827
GOOD MOANING.
210
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,331
GOOD MOANING.
211
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,835
I HAVE BAD NOSE.
212
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,338
THIS PIECE OF POPER
HAS BEEN PISTED...
213
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,844
ON THE WILLS OF
THE TOWN SQUEER.
214
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,849
IT IS A PICTURE OF
MONSIEUR LECLERC.
215
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,350
WITHOUT HIS TROUSERS!
216
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,354
UNLESS THE MONEY
STOLEN FROM THE GESTAPO
217
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,857
IS RETURNED
WITHIN 24 HOURS,
218
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,359
THIS MAN WILL BE SHOT
IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
219
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,863
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
WE CANNOT LET THEM SHOOT THE PIANIST.
220
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,364
WE CANNOT GIVE THEM
BACK THE MONEY.
221
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,867
YOUR MOTHER HAS JUST BURNT IT
IN THE OVEN.
222
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:44,870
IT SEEMS TO MOO THAT THINGS
ARE GOOING FROM BID TO WOSS.
223
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,878
COULD WE NOT
FORGE SOME MORE MONEY TO GIVE TO THE GESTAPO?
224
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,381
HOW CAN WE?
THE FORGER IS THE ONE THEY ARE GOING TO SHOOT!
225
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,883
UNDER THREAT OF DEATH,
226
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,886
HE MAY REVEAL OUR CONNECTION
WITH THE RESISTANCE.
227
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,888
WE COULD ALL BE SHOT
IN THE TOWN SQUARE.
228
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,891
AND ALL BECAUSE YOUR MOTHER
WANTED A BAKED POTATO.
229
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,396
I KNOW MONSIEUR LECLERC,
230
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,897
HE IS A BRAVE MAN.
231
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,399
HE WILL HOLD OUT
TO THE VERY LAST MOMENT,
232
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,403
BRAVELY HOPING THE MONEY
WILL BE RETURNED.
233
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,905
AND WHEN IT
IS NOT RETURNED?
234
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,908
HE WILL DROP US IN IT.
235
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,410
RENE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
THE ONE THAT FANCIES YOU,
236
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,413
IS COMING ACROSS
THE TOWN SQUARE.
237
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,914
ACT NORMALLY.
238
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,415
I'VE BEEN DOING THAT
FOR WEEKS.
239
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,418
IT DOES NOT
DISCOURAGE HIM.
240
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,421
I WILL GOO DOWN
THE BACK PISSIGE.
241
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,426
AH, RENE.
242
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,429
AH, LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
COME IN.
243
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,930
YOUR USUAL?
244
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,431
THANK YOU.
245
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,934
YOU LOOK PALE,
AND YOUR HANDS ARE TREMBLING.
246
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:51,436
WELL, IT IS THE WORRY
ABOUT THE WAR
247
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,938
AND HOPING THAT
YOU WILL WIN, OF COURSE.
248
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,444
I HAVE COME TO HELP YOU GIVE
THAT MONEY BACK TO THE GESTAPO
249
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,446
SO THAT YOUR PIANIST
CAN BE RELEASED.
250
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,948
LIEUTENANT, THAT WILL BE
A LITTLE DIFFICULT.
251
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:06,451
MY WIFE'S MOTHER HAS JUST
COOKED THE MONEY FOR LUNCH.
252
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,955
OH DEAR, THIS IS
NOT GOOD NEWS.
253
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,958
HOWEVER, RENE,
ALL IS NOT LOST.
254
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,961
YOU HAVE, I TAKE IT,
HEARD THE EXPRESSION,
255
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,965
IF YOU SCRATCH MY BACK,
THEN I WILL SCRATCH YOUR BACK?
256
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,473
IT IS NOT ONE I USE
EVERY DAY, BUT YES.
257
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,477
I COULD VERY LIKELY
HELP YOU
258
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,479
IF YOU COULD
LET SOMETHING DROP.
259
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,983
I SEE.
260
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,987
ON THE OTHER HAND,
HE WAS NOT A VERY GOOD PIANIST.
261
00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,990
DO YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION
AS TO THE WHEREABOUTS
262
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,491
OF THE STOLEN LAND MINES?
263
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,994
NO, LIEUTENANT,
BUT SHOULD I HEAR ANYTHING
264
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,495
I WILL, OF COURSE,
LET YOU KNOW AT ONCE.
265
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,997
BECAUSE IF THEY
WERE RETURNED,
266
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:55,000
I AM SURE I COULD ARRANGE
FOR THE RELEASE OF THE PIANIST.
267
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,501
I SEE.
268
00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:00,005
REMEMBER, RENE,
MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN.
269
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:03,008
I AM SURE IT IS,
LIEUTENANT.
270
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,015
BY THE WAY,
I HAVE MOVED MY ROOM.
271
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,518
I NOW HAVE ONE WITH
A MOST BEAUTIFUL VIEW.
272
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,020
IT IS AT THE VERY TOP
OF THE WEST TOWER.
273
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:19,024
IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE
A FRIEND IN HIGH PLACES.
274
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:23,028
OH, RENE, WHAT A WAG.
275
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,534
YVETTE!
276
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,037
WE MUST AT ONCE MAKE
CONTACT WITH MICHELLE.
277
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,539
THE ONLY WAY
TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF MONSIEUR LECLERC
278
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,542
IS BY GIVING BACK
THE LAND MINES.
279
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,043
SHE IS ACROSS
THE TOWN SQUARE
280
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,544
IN THE YARD
OF THE BUILDER,
281
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,546
WITH THE AIRMEN.
282
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,548
YOU FINISH SERVING
THESE CUSTOMERS
283
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,549
AND THEN WE WILL
GO TO HER.
284
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,021
HELEN,
ARE THE AIRMEN INSIDE?
285
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,023
THEY HAVE BEEN IN THERE
FOR ONE HOUR.
286
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:53,025
- ONE HOUR?
- IT IS THE TIME IT WILL TAKE
287
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,027
FOR THE GERMAN BOMBER
TO GET FROM FRANCE TO ENGLAND.
288
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,529
THEY SHOULD BE
ACCLIMATIZED BY NOW.
289
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,531
I THINK THEY ARE
STILL BREATHING.
290
00:14:59,531 --> 00:15:02,534
GOOD, WE WILL NOW
PRACTICE THEIR RELEASE.
291
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,539
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
292
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,541
NOW LISTEN, CHAPS.
WE'LL PRETEND YOU'RE
293
00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,043
SOMEWHERE OVER
ENGLAND AT 5,000 FEET.
294
00:15:12,044 --> 00:15:14,046
THE BOMBS
WILL BE DROPPED,
295
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,048
THEY'LL BE SLOWED DOWN
BY A SMALL PARACHUTE,
296
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:18,050
SO THAT WILL GIVE YOU
ABOUT 30 SECONDS
297
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,051
TO UNSCREW YOUR NUTS,
298
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:22,554
YOU WILL OPEN THE TOP,
AND CLIMB OUT.
299
00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:24,556
NEXT, YOU SIT
ASTRIDE THE BOMB,
300
00:15:24,556 --> 00:15:27,058
PULL OUT YOUR PARACHUTE,
ADJUST THE WEBBING,
301
00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:29,561
JUMP OFF AND PULL
THE RIP CORD. IS THAT CLEAR?
302
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,063
IT'S RATHER A LOT
TO REMEMBER.
303
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,066
IS THERE ANY CHANCE
OF WRITING IT DOWN?
304
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,068
YOU COULDN'T
READ IN THE DARK.
305
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:37,569
GOOD THINKING.
306
00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:39,571
RIGHT.
307
00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,072
STAND BY.
308
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:42,574
TO REPRESENT
THE RELEASE
309
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:44,075
WE WILL BOTH
GIVE YOU A BANG
310
00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,577
WITH A HAMMER.
311
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:46,578
SHUT YOUR TRAPS.
312
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:49,581
ON THE COUNT OF THREE,
313
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:53,084
ONE, TWO, THREE.
314
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:54,586
( loud bang )
315
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,589
Both:
OHH! OW!
316
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,094
I SAY, DO YOU
HAVE TO DO THAT?
317
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:04,096
IT WENT
RIGHT THROUGH ME.
318
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:06,098
COULDN'T YOU JUST TAP
WITH YOUR HAND GENTLY?
319
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,600
ALL RIGHT, CHAPS.
START AGAIN.
320
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,607
30,
321
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:17,108
29,
322
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:17,609
28,
323
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,611
27,
324
00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:20,612
26,
325
00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:22,113
25,
326
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,115
24,
327
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,616
23,
328
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:25,617
22,
329
00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:27,118
21,
330
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,120
20,
331
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,121
19,
332
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,122
- 18...
- WHAT IS GOING ON?
333
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,624
THE AIRMEN ARE
PRACTICING THEIR ESCAPE.
334
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:36,127
THEY HAVE 30 SECONDS BEFORE
THEY HIT THE GROUND.
335
00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:39,131
( wrench clanks on floor )
336
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,632
I'VE DROPPED THE SPANNER.
337
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,133
CAN I BORROW YOURS?
338
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:44,136
DON'T BE SILLY.
339
00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:47,139
HERE IT IS.
START AGAIN.
340
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:48,640
THANKS AWFULLY.
341
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,644
ONE, TWO, THREE...
342
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:57,649
LISTEN, IF WE DO NOT GET
THESE BOMBS BACK TO THE GERMANS
343
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,150
THEY ARE GOING TO SHOOT
THE PIANIST.
344
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,153
IMPOSSIBLE, THEY CANNOT
HAVE THEM.
345
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,155
I SAY!
346
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:05,657
I'VE GOT A CROSSED THREAD
ON ONE OF MY NUTS.
347
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:08,159
HELEN, GIVE IT A BANG
WITH YOUR HAMMER.
348
00:17:12,664 --> 00:17:15,667
OW!
349
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:17,669
WHY DO YOU NOT GIVE THE GERMANS
BACK THEIR MONEY?
350
00:17:17,669 --> 00:17:19,671
IT HAS BEEN COOKED
WITH THE POTATO
351
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:21,172
BY HIS WIFE'S MOTHER.
352
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,175
CAN YOU GET NOTHING RIGHT?
353
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:24,676
HURRAY!
354
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,678
I'VE DONE IT.
355
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,682
ENGLAND, HERE I COME!
356
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,683
I SAY, FAIRFAX,
357
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,184
DON'T FORGET
YOUR PARACHUTE.
358
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,187
OH, OF COURSE.
SILLY ME.
359
00:17:35,187 --> 00:17:37,189
( clanging )
360
00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,692
I'VE DROPPED
MY SPANNER AGAIN.
361
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,696
HERE, HAVE MINE.
362
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:45,697
I'VE FINISHED WITH IT.
363
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,198
THANKS.
364
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,201
THERE IS ONLY ONE COURSE
OPEN TO US.
365
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,702
WE MUST GET ON THE RADIO
366
00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,704
AND ASK BRITISH INTELLIGENCE
TO HELP US.
367
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,706
IF THIS IS AN EXAMPLE
OF THEIR HANDIWORK,
368
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:56,207
I DO NOT THINK
WE HAVE MUCH HOPE.
369
00:17:57,209 --> 00:17:59,211
WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
370
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,712
PULL THE RIP CORD.
371
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:12,223
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT TOO KEEN
ON THIS IDEA.
372
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:18,563
HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO!
373
00:18:24,069 --> 00:18:26,571
I HAVE HERE
ORDERS FROM BERLIN
374
00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:29,575
REQUIRING YOU TO PROVIDE
A FIRING SQUAD TO EXECUTE
375
00:18:29,575 --> 00:18:31,577
THE WANDERING PILLOW STUFFER.
376
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,078
IF THE MONEY
IS NOT RETURNED,
377
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:34,579
YOU ARE TO SHOOT HIM
IN THE TOWN SQUARE
378
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,582
AT 7:00 IN THE MORNING.
379
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:38,584
IT IS SIGNED BY
HEINRICH HIMMLER.
380
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,586
I KEEP THIS.
381
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,088
ME, I COLLECT
THE AUTOGRAPHS.
382
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,590
THOSE ARE YOUR ORDERS,
THAT IS ALL.
383
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:46,592
HEIL HITLER.
384
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,594
( all meekly )
HEIL HITLER.
385
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:55,100
THIS IS GOING TO MAKE US
VERY UNPOPULAR.
386
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,601
ESPECIALLY YOU, GRUBER.
387
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:58,604
COLONEL,
388
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,105
I DID IT LAST TIME.
389
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:02,607
I REALLY DON'T THINK
IT IS MY TURN.
390
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,109
I THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.
391
00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:07,112
BERTORELLI, YOU WANTED
TO BE IN THIS WAR,
392
00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:09,114
YOUR TROOPS CAN
DO THE SHOOTING.
393
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,615
ME? OH NO.
394
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,617
ME AND MY MEN
395
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,619
WE ARE ALL
ITALIAN WAR HEROES.
396
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:16,121
WE DO NOT SHOOT
OLD PIANISTS,
397
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,623
EVEN THE LOUSY ONES.
398
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,626
I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER.
399
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,127
YOU WILL DO AS I SAY,
400
00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,628
OR I WILL
REPORT YOU TO BERLIN,
401
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,631
HITLER WILL HEAR ABOUT IT,
402
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,132
HE WILL TELL MUSSOLINI
403
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,633
AND HE WILL SEND YOU
TO THE DESERT
404
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,636
TO FIGHT MONTGOMERY.
405
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,639
HE IS THE ONE
WITH TWO BADGES IN HIS HAT.
406
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,641
OH, NO!
407
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,143
PLEASE, COLONEL.
408
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:41,646
NOT THE ONE WITH
TWO BADGES IN HIS HAT.
409
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,148
I TALK TO MY MEN,
410
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:45,150
WE SHOOT THE PIANIST.
411
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,158
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
412
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:56,161
THERE IS NO SIGN YET
OF MONSIEUR LECLERC.
413
00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:58,163
WHAT IS THE TIME?
414
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:00,165
IT IS 10 MINUTES
TO 7:00.
415
00:20:00,165 --> 00:20:01,166
OH, LOOK!
416
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,168
THERE IS
THE FIRING SQUAD.
417
00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,670
A RIGHT, A LEFT,
A RIGHT, A LEFT...
418
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,172
KEEP UP THE STEP!
419
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,674
A LEFT, A RIGHT,
A LEFT, A RIGHT...
420
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:11,176
MAKE THE HALT!
421
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,179
MAKE THE RIGHT TURN!
422
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,183
MAKE THE STAND AT EASY.
423
00:20:19,184 --> 00:20:20,685
AND MOVE YOUR FEET,
424
00:20:20,686 --> 00:20:22,187
MOVE YOUR FEET.
425
00:20:22,187 --> 00:20:24,189
GET IN LINE!
426
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:25,190
GOOD.
427
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,194
GOOD MOANING.
428
00:20:30,195 --> 00:20:31,696
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
429
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:34,199
THE R.A.F. WAS SUPPOSED TO
DROP THAT MONEY LAST NIGHT.
430
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,702
I WETTED ALL NIGHT
IN THE WOODS...
431
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:40,706
FLUSHING MY TITCH.
432
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:47,712
THEN WHY DID
THEY NOT COME?
433
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:50,716
THE BUMMERS
PISSED OVERHEAD,
434
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,723
BUT THE CLODS
WERE VERY LOO,
435
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,225
AND IT WAS
A BIT FIGGY.
436
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:04,229
IT IS MONSIEUR LECLERC!
437
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:05,730
OH, THE POOR MAN.
438
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:13,238
IS NO NEED TO PUSH.
439
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,746
MAKE THE ATTENTION!
440
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:33,258
IF THE MONEY
IS NOT RETURNED IN TWO MINUTES,
441
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:35,260
THE WANDERING
PILLOW STUFFER
442
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:36,761
WILL DIE.
443
00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:40,766
GIVE HIM THE MONEY!
444
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,769
OH, ROGER, HAVE COURAGE!
445
00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:46,271
KEEP YOU CHIN UP.
446
00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:48,773
I HAVE PRAYED
FOR THE MONEY.
447
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,776
A FAT LOT OF GOOD
IT IS DOING!
448
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,780
LOAD THE GUNS!
449
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,285
WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CRACKS
AT THE LAST MINUTE
450
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:01,286
AND DROPS US RIGHT IN IT?
451
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:02,787
DO NOT WORRY.
452
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:05,791
I HAVE GUNS TRAINED ON HIM
BY OUR MARKSWOMAN.
453
00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:11,296
YOU HAVE
ONE LAST CHANCE
454
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:12,797
TO TELL US WHERE
YOU HAVE HIDDEN THE MONEY.
455
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:13,799
VERY WELL,
456
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:16,301
I WILL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING.
457
00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:22,307
SHE MISSED!
458
00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,809
EDITH, WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH THAT HAND GRENADE?
459
00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:29,815
THE BUMMERS.
460
00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:33,318
CAPITANO, IS A RAID!
461
00:22:33,318 --> 00:22:34,319
WE COME BACK LATER, EH?
462
00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:35,320
YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
463
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,821
YOU TAKE THE AIM, OKAY?
464
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:39,324
COME ON!
465
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:43,828
♪ I SEE CHILDREN OF
THE MARSEILLAISE ♪
466
00:22:43,829 --> 00:22:47,332
♪ SHOUT FREEDOM... ♪
467
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:50,335
MICHELLE, RENE,
468
00:22:50,335 --> 00:22:51,336
LOOK!
469
00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:54,839
IT IS
THE 1,000,000 FRANCS!
470
00:22:57,342 --> 00:22:58,843
IN THE NICK OF TOMB.
471
00:23:02,347 --> 00:23:03,848
PARDON ME INTERRUPTING,
HERR FLICK,
472
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:04,850
BUT THE MONEY IS HERE.
473
00:23:06,852 --> 00:23:09,354
FELLAHS, QUICK!
GRAB THE DOUGH!
474
00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:11,356
YOU NO GRAB THE DOUGH,
YOU TAKE THE AIM.
475
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,362
( theme music playing )