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( theme music playing )
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THE SUN IS SHINING,
3
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THE SCENT OF FRANCE
IS IN THE AIR,
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YOU WOULD NOT THINK
I HAD A CARE IN THE WORLD.
5
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IF I WERE NOT HIDING
TWO BRITISH AIRMEN
6
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AND TWO GIRLS
OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE,
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AND IF I HAD NOT
JUST ROBBED A BANK
8
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AND STOLEN 1,000,000 FRANCS
OF GESTAPO MONEY
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YOU WOULD BE RIGHT.
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I AM NOW ABOUT TO FEED
THE CARRIER BIRD
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THAT WILL TAKE
THE MICROFILM
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OF THE GERMAN PLAN
FOR THE INVASION OF ENGLAND
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DIRECT TO LONDON.
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NOW YOU MAY THINK THE BIRD
I AM REFERRING TO
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IS A CARRIER PIGEON.
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YOU WOULD BE WRONG.
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THE R.A.F. HAVE PROVIDED US
WITH A LONG DISTANCE DUCK.
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YOU HAVE BEEN VERY QUIET
IN THERE.
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COME ON,
IT IS BREAKFAST TIME.
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COME ON.
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( quacking )
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( ducklings peeping )
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MY GOD, SHE HAS GIVEN BIRTH
TO A WHOLE SQUADRON.
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OH, LOOK AT THOSE
LITTLE BABIES.
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OH, WHAT DOES THAT
MAKE YOU THINK OF?
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GREEN PEAS AND STUFFING.
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OH, RENE. WHY DO WE NOT
RUN AWAY TO PARIS NOW?
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WE HAVE THE MONEY FROM
THE BANK THAT WE ROBBED.
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NO, NO, YVETTE.
THAT MONEY WAS TOO HOT.
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WE DO NOT HAVE IT ANYMORE.
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WHERE IS IT?
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I HELPED LIEUTENANT GRUBER
TO STUFF IT DOWN HIS TROUSERS.
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1,000,000 FRANCS?
ARE YOU MAD?
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WE COULD HAVE
LIVED ON THAT FOREVER.
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I DO NOT THINK YOU WANT
TO MARRY ME AT ALL!
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SHUSH!
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
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I AM NEVER GOING
TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
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RENE!
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WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH
YOUR ARMS AROUND THAT GIRL?
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YOU STUPID WOMAN.
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SHE WAS FAINT FROM HUNGER.
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SHE CRIES TO SEE THE FOOD
BEING GIVEN TO THE DUCKS.
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OH, YOU POOR CHILD.
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YOU MUST BUILD UP
YOUR STRENGTH.
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HERE, HAVE SOME
POTATO PEELINGS.
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THANK YOU.
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DO NOT BE UNGRATEFUL,
EAT THEM UP.
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YES, UNCLE HEINRICH.
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OF COURSE,
UNCLE HEINRICH.
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I AM TALKING TO HIMMLER.
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HIMMLER?
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AAGH!
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SHUSH!
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DO NOT LISTEN.
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YES, UNCLE HEINRICH,
BUT WITH RESPECT,
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THE GESTAPO MONEY THAT WAS
STOLEN FROM THE BANK
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WAS NOT GENUINE FRANCS.
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THEY WERE FORGED FRANCS.
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YES, OF COURSE,
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IT IS THE PRINCIPLE
OF THE THING.
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DO NOT WORRY, UNCLE,
I WILL DETECT THE MISCREANTS
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AND BRING THEM TO JUSTICE.
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BUT UNCLE,
YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME
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TO SHOOT EVERYONE
IN THE TOWN.
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I AM UNPOPULAR ENOUGH
AS IT IS.
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YES, UNCLE.
BY THE WAY,
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IS THERE ANY CHANCE
OF A POSTAL ORDER
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TO TIDE ME OVER?
69
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HE HUNG UP?
70
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VON SMALLHAUSEN?
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VON SMALLHAUSEN!
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PAY ATTENTION.
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WE MUST TRACE THE WHEREABOUTS
OF THE STOLEN MONEY.
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BUT HOW, HERR FLICK?
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WHAT IS THE FIRST THING
PEOPLE DO WITH STOLEN MONEY?
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THEY HIDE IT
IN THE MATTRESS.
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NO, THEY DO NOT.
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THEY DIVIDE IT UP
AMONGST THEMSELVES.
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WHAT DO THEY DO THEN?
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THEY SPEND IT.
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NO, THEY DO NOT.
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THEY HIDE IT
IN A MATTRESS.
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WHAT HAPPENS THEN?
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I DO NOT LIKE TO SAY,
HERR FLICK.
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ALWAYS SOMEBODY
MAKES A MISTAKE.
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WHAT IS THIS MISTAKE?
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THEY SEND THE MATTRESS
TO THE CLEANERS.
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NO, THEY DO NOT.
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THEY SPEND SOME OF IT.
90
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AND WHAT
DO THEY SPEND IT ON?
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EXCUSE ME...
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LUXURY GOODS?
93
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POSSIBLY.
94
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BUT POSSIBLY NOT.
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MORE LIKELY FOOD.
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WE WILL DISGUISE OURSELVES
AS MARKET TRADERS.
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THE FIRST PERSON WHO SPENDS
ONE OF THE FORGED NOTES
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WILL BE ARRESTED
AND INTERROGATED
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UNTIL HE LEADS US
TO THE SOURCE.
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900 AND 65,
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900 AND 70,
102
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975,000 FRANCS.
103
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I THOUGHT THE RANSOM
WAS A MILLION?
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00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:34,633
ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NO MORE
DOWN YOUR TROUSERS?
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SEARCH ME.
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I WILL TAKE
YOUR WORD FOR IT.
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I SUGGEST WE GIVE IT
ANONYMOUSLY TO HERR FLICK
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AND PUT AN END
TO THE MATTER.
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DON'T LET US
BE HASTY, GRUBER.
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975,000 FRANCS
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BUYS A LOT OF STRUDEL.
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COLONEL,
I HAVE SEEN HERR FLICK.
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HE IS MAD AS A SNAKE.
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SHOULD HE FIND OUT I KNOW
THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE MONEY,
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I SHUDDER TO THINK WHAT
MAY BE MY FATE.
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SO DO NOT TELL HIM.
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TWO FOR YOU,
118
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TWO FOR ME.
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ONE FOR YOU.
120
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TWO FOR YOU,
121
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TWO FOR ME.
ONE FOR YOU.
122
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COLONEL, WHY AM I
TO RECEIVE ONLY ONE?
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BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN.
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TWO FOR YOU,
125
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TWO FOR ME,
126
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ONE FOR YOU.
127
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I AM A WOMAN
WITH A BIG MOUTH.
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TWO FOR YOU,
TWO FOR YOU...
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COLONEL, MY FRIEND!
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AH!
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THE BEAUTIFUL LADY.
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I KISS YOUR HAND.
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LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
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HOW ARE YOU
GETTING ON, EH?
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WHAT DO I SEE?
136
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,222
- WHAT INDEED.
- THE BIG THE LOLLY.
137
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THIS THE MONEY
WHAT YOU STEAL
138
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FROM THE BANK
FOR THE RANSOM, NO?
139
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- YES!
- OW!
140
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SO KEEP OFF IT
YOUR WOP HANDS.
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COLONEL, I SEE YOU
HAVE THE SHARE OUT.
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WHY YOU NO INCLUDE
YOUR FRIEND ALBERTO?
143
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WHY SHOULD WE
INCLUDE YOU?
144
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BECAUSE I CAN DROP YOU
IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT,
145
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AND YOU NOT COME OUT
SMELLING OF THE ROSES.
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TWO FOR YOU,
147
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TWO FOR YOU.
148
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COLONEL?
149
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I WAS STANDING
OUTSIDE THE DOOR,
150
00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:35,254
AND I COULD NOT HELP
BUT HEAR YOUR CONVERSATION.
151
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IS THERE A LITTLE
SOMETHING FOR ME?
152
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HOW ABOUT A POSTING
TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT?
153
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I CANNOT BE SENT
TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT...
154
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ON MEDICAL GROUNDS.
155
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WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
156
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IT'S MY MEMORY,
COLONEL.
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WHAT WERE
WE TALKING ABOUT?
158
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GET OUT!
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TWO FOR YOU,
160
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:57,777
TWO FOR YOU.
161
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( knocking on door )
162
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MICHELLE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
163
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THIS IS MY COVER.
164
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,294
AS A WINDOW CLEANER
I CAN MOVE FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE
165
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,296
WITHOUT AROUSING
SUSPICION.
166
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,298
HOW ABOUT PUTTING
WATER IN YOUR BUCKET?
167
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:24,303
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE.
168
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OUR ORGANIZATION IN
ABBEVILLE HAS SUCCEEDED
169
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IN PHOTOGRAPHING THE PLANS
FOR THE INVASION.
170
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:33,312
I HAVE THE MICROFILM.
I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU.
171
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:36,315
YOU WILL ATTACH IT TO THE LEG
OF THE LONG DISTANCE DUCK.
172
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,317
THE DUCK WILL THEN
TRANSPORT IT TO LONDON.
173
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:40,819
IS ANYONE LOOKING?
174
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,822
THE WHOLE VILLAGE WILL BE,
IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP.
175
00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:50,830
FOR THIS YOU WILL NEED
A LONG DISTANCE ALBATROSS.
176
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THE MICROFILM IS HIDDEN
BENEATH THE STAMP.
177
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STEAM IT OFF AND ATTACH IT
TO THE LEG OF THE DUCK WITH A CORN PLASTER.
178
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:03,342
THERE IS A PROBLEM
WITH THAT DUCK.
179
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,346
SHE HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH
TO FIVE LITTLE DUCKS.
180
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,348
SO?
181
00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:11,350
IF YOU TAKE HER AWAY
FROM THEM NOW THEY WILL DIE.
182
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,852
PUT THEM UNDER
A WARM TEA COZY
183
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,355
AND FEED THEM EVERY FOUR HOURS
WITH A FOUNTAIN PEN FILLER.
184
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:20,859
I AM NOT GOING
TO WET-NURSE A DUCK. I HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN.
185
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,361
THEN FIND A BROODY HEN.
186
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,863
WHO WILL TEACH
THEM TO SWIM?
187
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,365
AND THINK OF THE MOTHER--
188
00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:27,866
IF SHE IS TAKEN AWAY
FROM THEM NOW,
189
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,869
SHE WON'T REACH CALAIS
BEFORE SHE GETS
190
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:32,371
POST-NATAL DEPRESSION.
191
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:35,374
I AM WORKING
FOR THE RESISTANCE TRYING TO WIN THE WAR
192
00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:38,377
AND YOU ARE WORKING
FOR DUCK WELFARE.
193
00:09:38,377 --> 00:09:39,878
THAT DUCK LEAVES TODAY.
194
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,383
HANG ON, YOU HAVE NOT
FINISHED MY WINDOWS.
195
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,885
SCREW YOUR WINDOWS.
196
00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,065
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH A FRUIT BASKET ON YOUR HEAD?
197
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:05,070
I AM GOING SHOPPING
FOR FOOD.
198
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,572
AND TALKING OF FOOD,
199
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:08,073
HOW MUCH LONGER
DO WE HAVE TO HIDE
200
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,576
THESE COMMUNIST
RESISTANCE GIRLS?
201
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,578
I EXPECT THE SEARCH
WILL BE OVER IN A FEW DAYS
202
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,079
AND THEN THEY WILL
BE ABLE TO LEAVE.
203
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,083
THEY ARE EATING ME
OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME.
204
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,085
THEY ARE LIKE ANIMALS.
205
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:21,587
I KNOW.
206
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,093
RENE?
207
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,595
THE ONE CALLED
DENISE LAROQUE,
208
00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:31,597
IS SHE THE SAME
DENISE LAROQUE
209
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:33,599
WHO WAS YOUR
CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART,
210
00:10:33,599 --> 00:10:36,101
WHO HELD YOU CAPTIVE
AGAINST YOUR WILL,
211
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,604
WHO HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU
AND WANTED TO MARRY YOU
212
00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:42,107
AND THREATENED TO KILL ME
IF I GOT IN THE WAY?
213
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,610
NO. THIS IS A DIFFERENT
DENISE LAROQUE ALTOGETHER.
214
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:48,614
RENE, LET ME LOOK
INTO YOUR EYES.
215
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,616
I CAN ALWAYS TELL
IF YOU ARE LYING.
216
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:55,621
I SEE IT IS THE TRUTH.
217
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,627
OH, RENE,
I AM SO HAPPY.
218
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,131
I MADE THESE SANDWICHES
FOR MAMMA.
219
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,133
YOU TAKE THEM TO HER,
MY ANGEL.
220
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,634
OF COURSE,
MY SWEETHEART.
221
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,138
RENE?
222
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,650
( Rene screams )
223
00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,653
- RENE!
- DENISE!
224
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:30,656
I KNEW YOU WOULD COME TO ME,
PASSION OF MY LIFE.
225
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:33,659
JUST THE SIGHT
OF YOUR BRAVE FACE HAS MADE ME GIDDY.
226
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:36,161
IT IS PROBABLY
THE SMELL OF MOTHBALLS
227
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:37,663
THAT I HAVE JUST CRUSHED
UNDER MY FEET.
228
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:40,165
YOU HAVE BROUGHT
ME SANDWICHES.
229
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,168
LET ME EAT
BEFORE WE MAKE LOVE.
230
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:43,669
ATTRACTIVE
THOUGH THIS MAY BE,
231
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,671
I CANNOT STAY
AT THE MOMENT.
232
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:47,673
I AM OVERRUN
WITH GERMANS.
233
00:11:47,673 --> 00:11:50,175
HAVE YOU MADE
ANY PLANS TO ESCAPE?
234
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,678
I WILL STAY HERE TILL
EVERYTHING DIES DOWN.
235
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:55,681
OH, AS LONG AS THAT.
236
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:57,683
THEN WE WILL KILL THE WOMAN
YOU ARE LIVING WITH,
237
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,685
BURY HER IN THE GARDEN
AND HIDE TOGETHER
238
00:11:59,685 --> 00:12:01,687
IN THE SEWERS OF PARIS,
POPPING UP
239
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:03,689
FROM TIME TO TIME
TO KILL THE HATED ENEMY.
240
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,190
I CAN HARDLY WAIT.
241
00:12:06,692 --> 00:12:08,694
KISS ME AS IF
THERE WERE NO TOMORROW.
242
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:11,697
BUT IT IS ONLY 11:00
ON THE MORNING OF TODAY.
243
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:29,715
THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD PITCH.
WE WILL SELL OUR FISH.
244
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,721
I HAVE THE WINKLES,
245
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:39,224
I HAVE THE WINKLES,
ALIVE ALIVE-O!
246
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,227
I HAVE THE CRABS,
247
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:44,230
I HAVE THE CRABS,
ALIVE ALIVE-O!
248
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,737
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
YOU WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY.
249
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,740
YOU ARE NOT
A GOOD FISH SELLER.
250
00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,743
I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK.
251
00:12:57,743 --> 00:12:58,744
PLEASE, TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.
252
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:01,747
CONGER, CONGER.
253
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,251
♪ LA LA LA LA LA-LA
LA LA LA LA LA-LA. ♪
254
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:19,765
POOH, YOUR FOSH
IS VERY PINGY.
255
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,767
GO AWAY.
256
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,269
YOU CANNOT SPOKE LIKE THOS
257
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,771
TO AN IFFICER OF THE LOO.
258
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,775
WHERE IS YOUR
STRAIT TREEDERS LOOSENCE?
259
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:35,280
OH, GESTOOPO.
260
00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:38,784
I WILL HAVE
A POUND OF WONKLES.
261
00:13:41,787 --> 00:13:42,788
WHAT ARE WONKLES?
262
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:45,791
THESE ARE WONKLES.
263
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,294
WINKLES.
264
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,803
WHAT PART OF FRANCE
DO YOU COME FROM?
265
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,805
I AM HALF ITOOLIAN.
266
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:05,811
- ITOOLIAN?
- YES, ITOOLIAN.
267
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:08,814
I THINK
HE MEANS ITALIAN.
268
00:14:08,814 --> 00:14:12,317
I WAS BROUGHT UP
IN NIPPLES.
269
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,821
NIPPLES?
270
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:18,824
YES, YOU KNOW
THE OLD SOOING?
271
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,826
SEE NIPPLES AND DO.
272
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,941
RETURN TO ME AS SOON
AS YOU ARE ABLE.
273
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,443
OF COURSE.
274
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,449
AND NEXT TIME
BRING THE MUSTARD.
275
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,458
( Rene screams )
276
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:56,962
RENE!
277
00:14:56,962 --> 00:14:58,964
LOUISE!
278
00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,466
I HAVE BEEN IN THIS WARDROBE
ALL NIGHT THINKING OF YOU.
279
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,969
I THOUGHT I WOULD
EXPLODE WITH PASSION.
280
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,973
LUCKY YOU KEPT
THE DOOR CLOSED.
281
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,477
I SEE YOU HAVE
BROUGHT ME FOOD
282
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,479
SO I MAY BUILD UP
MY STRENGTH,
283
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,481
SO THAT WE CAN
RUN AWAY TOGETHER.
284
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,985
I DO NOT THINK TWO SARDINES
AND A BIT OF CRESS
285
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,987
WILL HELP YOU
RUN AWAY VERY FAR.
286
00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,989
LET US KILL DENISE
287
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,491
AND HIDE HER BODY
IN A DISUSED REFRIGERATOR
288
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,494
AND FLY AWAY TO THE ALPS
289
00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,496
WHERE WE CAN DROP ROCKS
ON THE GERMANS.
290
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,998
OH, WHAT A ROMANTIC NOTION.
291
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:36,501
UNFORTUNATELY WE USE
OUR DISUSED REFRIGERATOR,
292
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,004
BUT THE MOMENT IT BREAKS DOWN,
I WILL LET YOU KNOW.
293
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:47,512
ONLY ONE SANDWICH LEFT
FOR MY WIFE'S MOTHER.
294
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,515
STILL, AT HER AGE
SHE DOES NOT NEED MUCH.
295
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:58,023
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU DO
TO THEM ALL?
296
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,027
WHAT IS IT ABOUT
THIS FACE
297
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:05,530
THAT DRIVES THEM
TO SUCH BLINDING PASSION?
298
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,032
STILL...
299
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:09,534
NOT BAD FOR 32.
300
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:14,539
RENE!
301
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,041
NOT NOW.
302
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:23,048
GOOD MORNING,
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
303
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:26,051
A GOOD MORNING,
MY ADORABLE MADAME EDITH.
304
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,054
MAGNIFICENT.
305
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,060
HOW HANDSOME
YOU LOOK THIS MORNING.
306
00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:41,567
THE AROMA SURROUNDING YOU
IS MOST TANTALIZING.
307
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,569
BETTER THAN THE REST
OF THE MARKET PLACE.
308
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,571
( chuckles )
309
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,072
I HAVE BEEN
TO THE HAIRDRESSER
310
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:49,574
TO HAVE MY MOUSTACHE
RESTYLED.
311
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:53,078
THE POMADE THAT THEY USE
IS THEIR OWN PREPARATION.
312
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,080
IT IS MADE
FROM BADGER GREASE
313
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,082
AND ROSE PETAL WATER.
314
00:16:57,082 --> 00:17:00,585
HOW IT GLISTENS
IN THE MORNING LIGHT.
315
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:03,088
NATURAL PRODUCTS ARE ALWAYS
THE BEST, ARE THEY NOT?
316
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,589
UNDOUBTEDLY.
317
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:07,593
I ALSO HAD
MY HAIR SHAMPOOED
318
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:10,596
WITH EXTRACT
OF HEDGEHOG.
319
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,603
IT HAS GIVEN IT
A LOT OF BODY.
320
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:21,106
IT HAS ITS DRAWBACKS.
321
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,608
IF EVER IT HEARS
A MOTOR HOOTER,
322
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,111
IT CLENCHES ITSELF
INTO A BALL.
323
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,616
GOOD MORNING.
324
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:36,121
WONKLES,
WONKLES,
325
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:38,623
WHO WILL BUY
MY WONKLES?
326
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:45,130
GOOD MORNING,
FISHMONGER.
327
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,132
I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU
HERE BEFORE.
328
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,633
WE ARE NEW
AROUND HERE.
329
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:52,637
WHICH IS MORE THAN
I CAN SAY FOR YOUR FISH.
330
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,140
THREE COD'S HEADS
FOR THE CAT.
331
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,644
LOOK. THIS IS
A FORGED BANK NOTE.
332
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:03,148
WE ARE THE GESTAPO.
YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.
333
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,649
YOU WILL COME WITH US
FOR INTERROGATION.
334
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,653
GENTLEMEN,
I AM AN INNOCENT MAN.
335
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,154
I AM MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
336
00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,156
THE RESPECTED UNDERTAKER.
337
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:13,158
I AM ENTIRELY INNOCENT.
338
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:15,660
THEN WHY IS YOUR HAIR
STANDING ON END IN FRIGHT?
339
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,162
HMM?
340
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,663
YOU WILL COME WITH US.
341
00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:20,666
NO, NO, GENTLEMEN.
342
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:22,668
NO, GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE.
343
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:25,170
THIS IS A FOOLISH
MISTAKE.
344
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:26,671
MADAME EDITH,
HELP ME, PLEASE!
345
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:28,674
MADAME EDITH!
346
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,876
( knock on door )
347
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:32,377
WHO IS IT?
348
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,379
IT IS RENE.
ARE YOU DECENT?
349
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,382
I HAVE BEEN DECENT
350
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:40,885
SINCE AUGUST 1922.
351
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:42,387
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
352
00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:43,888
I HAVE BROUGHT YOU
YOUR LUNCH.
353
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:45,390
( joyful )
OH.
354
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:48,393
OH.
355
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:51,896
HALF A CRUMMY
SARDINE SANDWICH?
356
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,399
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE?
357
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,402
STOP WHINGING,
YOU OLD BAT.
358
00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:58,903
THERE'S A WAR ON.
359
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,405
OOH.
360
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:03,408
IF ONE OF MY LATE HUSBANDS
WERE ALIVE
361
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,410
TO HEAR YOU
TALK TO ME LIKE THAT,
362
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,911
HE WOULD HORSEWHIP YOU.
363
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,914
THEY ARE NOT ALIVE,
ARE THEY?
364
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:10,916
NO, NO.
365
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,418
THAT IS WHY I SHALL
HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF!
366
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,924
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
367
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,425
THIS HOOLIGAN
HAS GONE MAD.
368
00:19:20,425 --> 00:19:23,428
STOP IT, MAMMA!
STOP IT!
369
00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:25,930
HE IS NO GOOD. AHH.
370
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,434
YOU MUST MARRY
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
371
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,936
AND GIVE HIM
THE BUM'S RUSH.
372
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:34,439
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAS HAPPENED
373
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,940
TO MONSIEUR ALPHONSE.
374
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,943
HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED
BY THE GESTAPO.
375
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,445
- WHAT?
- GESTAPO!
376
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,447
( spitting )
377
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,452
WHY HAS HE BEEN ARRESTED?
378
00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:49,954
HE PASSED
ONE OF THE BANK NOTES
379
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,958
WE STOLE FROM THE BANK.
IT WAS A FORGERY.
380
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,960
WHAT?
WHERE DID HE GET IT?
381
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,962
HE HAD BEEN
TO THE HAIRDRESSER.
382
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,964
MICHELLE USED SOME OF
THE STOLEN MONEY THERE.
383
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:01,466
MY GOD, IT WILL ALL
BE TRACED TO US.
384
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,968
NO. MONSIEUR ALPHONSE
LOVES ME.
385
00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:06,972
HE WILL DIE BEFORE
HE GIVES ME AWAY.
386
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,975
EDITH? IF HE DIES
BEFORE HE MARRIES YOU,
387
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,977
WHO WILL GET HIS MONEY?
388
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,480
THE HOME FOR
DISTRESSED UNDERTAKERS.
389
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,483
WELL, YOU MUST RESCUE HIM.
390
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,485
MAKE HIM SIGN THE WILL
391
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,986
AND THEN HAND HIM BACK.
392
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:26,491
MICHELLE!
393
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:28,993
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE HAS BEEN
ARRESTED BY THE GESTAPO.
394
00:20:28,994 --> 00:20:30,996
I KNOW. WE MUST
GET ON THE RADIO.
395
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,497
I HAVE A PLAN.
396
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:34,999
OOH!
397
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,002
THIS IS YOUR FAULT,
MICHELLE.
398
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:39,504
YOU USED SOME OF THAT MONEY
TO HAVE YOUR HAIR DONE.
399
00:20:39,504 --> 00:20:42,006
FOR WEEKS I HAVE NOT
HAD MY HAIR DONE.
400
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:43,508
AS HEAD
OF THE RESISTANCE,
401
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:45,009
I HAVE A POSITION
TO MAINTAIN.
402
00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:47,012
'ALLO, LONDON.
403
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,514
STANDBY FOR A MESSAGE.
404
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:52,016
'ALLO, KINGFISHER.
'ALLO, KINGFISHER.
405
00:20:52,017 --> 00:20:56,021
THIS IS BLUE TIT,
THIS IS BLUE TIT.
406
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:59,024
Pass your message,
Blue Tit.
407
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:02,027
PLEASE SEND TWO PAIRS
OF 15 DENIER STOCKINGS
408
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:05,530
AND A PACKET
OF SUICIDE PILLS, THE QUICK ONES.
409
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:10,535
Message received.
Is the duck ready?
410
00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:12,036
Is the duck ready?
411
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:13,538
I WILL LOOK UP
THE CODE.
412
00:21:13,538 --> 00:21:16,040
IT IS NOT CODE.
LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.
413
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,046
YES, THE DUCK IS READY.
414
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:24,049
We need the invasion plans
at once.
415
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,051
The wind is favorable.
416
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:28,553
Release the duck
immediately.
417
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:30,054
MESSAGE RECEIVED.
418
00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,057
WE WILL PREPARE THE DUCK
FOR LAUNCH.
419
00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:33,558
OH!
420
00:21:33,558 --> 00:21:36,060
A DUCK FOR LUNCH.
421
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:43,568
DID YOU ATTACH THE MICROFILM
TO THE LEG OF THE DUCK WITH THE CORN PLASTER?
422
00:21:43,568 --> 00:21:44,569
- IT IS DONE.
- GOOD.
423
00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:50,575
DO YOU HAVE
THE LONG DISTANCE DICK?
424
00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:52,577
IN THE BOX AND READY
FOR TAKE OFF.
425
00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:55,079
I WILL MAUVE
THESE PEASANTS OUT OF THE WEE
426
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,082
AND MAKE
A CLEAR PITH.
427
00:22:01,086 --> 00:22:03,088
AH, THERE YOU ARE CHAPS.
428
00:22:03,088 --> 00:22:05,590
I SAY, MICHELLE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
429
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:09,093
WE'RE FLYING
THE INVASION PLANS TO ENGLAND BY FAST DUCK.
430
00:22:17,602 --> 00:22:19,604
JUST THINK, RENE,
IN A MOMENT
431
00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:21,606
IT WILL BE SOARING
ABOVE THE CLOUDS
432
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,609
TAKING WITH IT THE PLANS
OF THE INVASION.
433
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:26,611
WE HOPE.
434
00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:29,614
RENE,
LET ME RELEASE IT.
435
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:32,116
VERY WELL,
IF YOU WISH, EDITH.
436
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:34,119
THIS WILL GO DOWN
IN HISTORY
437
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,122
AS THE TURNING POINT
IN THE STRUGGLE
438
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,623
OF THE OPPRESSED
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD
439
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:42,126
AGAINST THE JACKBOOTS
OF FASCIST IMPERIALISTS.
440
00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:03,648
( loud quacking )
441
00:23:20,165 --> 00:23:23,168
( theme music playing )