1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,573 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,595 I SUSPECT THAT THIS MEAT THAT I AM TRYING TO EAT 3 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,597 PASSED THE WINNING POST AT LONGCHAMPS 4 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,599 SOME TIME AGO-- 5 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,101 PROBABLY IN LAST PLACE. 6 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,603 THIS ILL-FITTING UNIFORM THAT I AM WEARING 7 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,606 HAS LANDED ME IN SERIOUS TROUBLE. 8 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,608 I PUT IT ON TO ESCAPE THE GERMANS 9 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,609 ONLY TO TO BE CAPTURED 10 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,111 BY THE FANATICAL COMMUNIST RESISTANCE. 11 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,612 "WHY DO YOU NOT TELL THEM 12 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,615 THAT YOU ARE THE WELL-KNOWN AND JOLLY CAFE OWNER 13 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,116 RENE ARTOIS?" I HEAR YOU SAY. 14 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,117 BECAUSE MY FRIENDS, 15 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,619 THEY THINK THAT RENE ARTOIS IS A COLLABORATOR 16 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,121 AND HE IS ON THEIR HIT LIST. 17 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:58,624 AND VERY NEAR THE TOP. 18 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627 SHUT UP. 19 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,129 THIS OLD FORGER AND SAFEBREAKER 20 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,130 AND INCOMPETENT PIANIST 21 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:05,631 IS ALSO, YOU WILL NOTE, 22 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,133 DISGUISED AS A GERMAN OFFICER. 23 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:10,636 BUT HE IS EVEN LESS CONVINCING THAN I AM. 24 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,139 MAY I NOW HAVE THE FORK, PLEASE? 25 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,641 I WOULD LIKE TO EAT MY PEAS. 26 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,644 USE YOUR KNIFE, LIKE YOU USUALLY DO. 27 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,146 LOOK OUT, SOMEBODY IS COMING. 28 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:21,647 NOW TO BUSINESS. 29 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,151 TIE HIS OTHER HAND TO THE PILLAR. 30 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,152 WHAT? 31 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,156 BUT-- 32 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:32,158 LOOK, IF THIS IS GOING TO TAKE LONG, 33 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:34,160 WOULD YOU PUT THAT FOOD BACK IN THE OVEN? 34 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,662 THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN COLD HORSE. 35 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:37,664 PREPARE HIS BACK. 36 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,165 WHAT? 37 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,666 ( jacket rips ) 38 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:47,673 IF YOU HAD ASKED, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN IT OFF. 39 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,176 YOU CAN DROP THE PHONY FRENCH ACCENT, 40 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:51,677 VON SMITTELHOFFEN. 41 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,681 A GERMAN LIEUTENANT MUST HAVE MUCH INFORMATION FOR US. 42 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:57,684 I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF ANY USE TO YOU. 43 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,185 YOU WILL REVEAL EVERYTHING. 44 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,187 WELL, WE ARE HALF-WAY THERE ALREADY. 45 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:06,192 MA'AMSELLE LAROQUE WAS FORMERLY A LION TAMER. 46 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,194 LAROQUE? 47 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,695 LAROQUE, THAT NAME RINGS A BELL. 48 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,197 ARE YOU ONE OF THE NANCY LAROQUES? 49 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,199 YOU CLEARLY KNOW MORE ABOUT ME 50 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:14,700 THAN IS GOOD FOR YOU. 51 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:15,702 ARE YOU IN THE GESTAPO? 52 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,704 NO, NO, DEFINITELY NOT-- 53 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,206 AND IF I MAY SAY SO, MY FRIEND OVER THERE 54 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,707 WHO IS VERY OLD AND FRAIL, 55 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,211 AND SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE HIATUS HERNIA, 56 00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,713 FINDS THIS WHOLE INTERVIEW MOST DISTRESSING. 57 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,715 GOOD. 58 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,216 WE WILL BEAT YOU TILL HE TALKS. 59 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:35,221 BEAT AWAY, I WILL NOT TALK. 60 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:39,225 I WILL NOT BESMIRCH THE HONOR OF THE VON BECKSTEINS. 61 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,727 HEIL HITLER. 62 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,229 THANK YOU, ERICH VON STROHEIM. 63 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,733 NOW, VON SMITTELHOFFEN, 64 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:49,235 IF YOU WISH TO SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF PAIN, 65 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:52,738 YOU WILL TELL US THE DATE OF THE GERMAN INVASION OF ENGLAND. 66 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,241 NO, NO, NO, NO. DO NOT TELL THEM. 67 00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,244 WELL, HITLER KEEPS THESE THINGS TO HIMSELF. 68 00:02:58,244 --> 00:03:00,746 YOU KNOW HITLER. YOU KNOW HOW HE IS. 69 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,749 BUT I DID HEAR SOMEONE MENTION 70 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,251 THE SECOND SUNDAY IN EPIPHANY. 71 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,752 WAIT A MINUTE-- 72 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,255 WHAT IS THIS MARK ON YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER? 73 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,257 OH I'M GLAD YOU ASKED ME ABOUT THAT-- 74 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,758 IT IS A BIRTHMARK. 75 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,761 I WAS BORN IN A SNOWSTORM. 76 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,764 THE DOCTOR COULD NOT COME OUT, HE HAD ASIAN FLU. 77 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,265 SO MADAME TRICONFORT, 78 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,767 WHO WAS MY MOTHER'S HOME HELP AT THE TIME, 79 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,269 ASSISTED AT THE CONFINEMENT. 80 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,271 SHE USED THE TONGS THAT WERE IN THE COAL BUCKET. 81 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:28,274 THAT IS HOW I GOT THIS BIRTHMARK. 82 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,777 WHAT IS THE NEXT QUESTION? 83 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,780 IT IS A PERFECT GOOSEBERRY. 84 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,282 IT EVEN HAS THE LITTLE HAIRS ON IT. 85 00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:38,284 I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE. 86 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,787 IT WAS ON THE SHOULDER OF MY CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART. 87 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,289 ( romantic music plays ) 88 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:47,793 IT WAS A HOT AUGUST DAY, ON A RIVERBANK IN NANCY. 89 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,797 THE SCENT OF THE FLOWERS IN THE FIELDS 90 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,299 FILLED THE AIR THAT WE BREATHED. 91 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:54,800 HE WAS FISHING. 92 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,803 I SAT BESIDE HIM. 93 00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,305 HE LET ME HOLD HIS WORMS. 94 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,309 WE KISSED A GENTLE KISS, 95 00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:07,813 AND THE ICE CREAM THAT I WAS HOLDING MELTED ON HIS SHIRT. 96 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,816 CHOCOLATE RIPPLE. 97 00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,818 CORRECT. 98 00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:12,819 HE REMOVED HIS SHIRT 99 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,321 TO CLEANSE IT IN THE BUBBLING STREAM, 100 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,823 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, I SAW THE MARK-- 101 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,826 THIS MARK. 102 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,828 BUT HIS NAME WAS RENE ARTOIS. 103 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,831 - MY NAME IS RENE ARTOIS! - ( music ends ) 104 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,332 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. 105 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,334 TELL HER, TELL HER I AM RENE ARTOIS. 106 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,836 I AM SAYING NOTHING. 107 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:33,339 LONG LIVE THE THIRD REICH. 108 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,341 - HEIL HITLER. - SHUT UP. 109 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:36,342 ARE YOU SURE IT IS HIM? 110 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,345 WE VOWED TO LOVE EACH OTHER TILL THE END OF TIME. 111 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,347 AND THEN, ON THAT WARM RIVERBANK, 112 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,850 HE TOOK MY MOST TREASURED POSSESSION, 113 00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,354 MY MEDAL FOR GYMNASTICS. 114 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,855 HE BROKE IT IN HALF. 115 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:51,357 I STILL HAVE MY HALF. 116 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,359 AND I HAVE MINE. 117 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,364 OH! SEE, IT FITS. 118 00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,865 RENE! 119 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:00,867 BARBARA. 120 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:01,868 DENISE. 121 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,370 DENISE, I'M SORRY. 122 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,872 DESTINY HAS DRAWN US TOGETHER. 123 00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,375 I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO AGAIN. 124 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:10,876 IN THIS POSITION, 125 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,378 THIS IS NOT VERY GOOD NEWS. 126 00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:22,588 WHO IS IN THERE? WHO IS DRIVING? 127 00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:25,090 WHO HAS DAMAGED MY LITTLE TANK? 128 00:05:26,092 --> 00:05:28,094 CLARENCE, 129 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,596 COME OUT OF THAT TANK AT ONCE. 130 00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,600 ARE YOU THE DROVER OF THIS TINK? 131 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,602 OF COURSE NOT, YOU FOOL! 132 00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:38,103 I AM OUTSIDE IT, AM I NOT? 133 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,606 CLARENCE, COME OUT! 134 00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:42,608 SHOW YOURSELF. 135 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,613 GOOD MORNING, LIEUTENANT. 136 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:50,115 MADAME EDITH. 137 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,618 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LITTLE TANK? 138 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,122 I THINK SOMETHING BACKED INTO ME. 139 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,124 A WOMAN DROVER. 140 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,126 I MIGHT HAVE GOOSED. 141 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:04,630 MADAME EDITH, PUBLIC CONVENIENCES 142 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:07,132 DO NOT BACK INTO PEOPLE. 143 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,135 AND UNAUTHORIZED PEASANTS 144 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,637 ARE FORBIDDEN FROM ENTERING GERMAN TANKS. 145 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,644 WE JUST POPPED IN TO LOOK AT YOUR CONTROLS. 146 00:06:18,644 --> 00:06:21,647 WE MUST HAVE PRESSED A BUTTON. 147 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,156 I HAVE A KNIFE. I WILL KILL HIM. 148 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,159 KEEP TALKING WHILE I CREEP ROUND BEHIND HIM. 149 00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,660 STAY WHERE YOU ARE. 150 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,162 OH, I AM SO SORRY. 151 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,665 IT IS NOT TOO BAD. 152 00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:41,667 I WILL GET IT PAINTED FOR YOU, 153 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,669 IF YOU LET ME HAVE IT FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. 154 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:47,673 WHAT ABOUT THE POSSOIR? IT IS AN ABSOLUTE SHIMBLES. 155 00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,676 I CANNOT THINK WHAT POSSESSED YOU, 156 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:52,177 MADAME EDITH. 157 00:06:53,679 --> 00:06:55,180 LIEUTENANT, I HAVE TO CONFESS, 158 00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:58,684 I WAS ON MY WAY TO RESCUE RENE. 159 00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,686 RENE? WHERE IS HE? 160 00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:03,689 HE HAS BEEN CAPTURED BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE. 161 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,691 THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE? 162 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,192 THEY ARE RUTHLESS. 163 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:09,695 THEY THINK HE IS A COLLABORATOR. 164 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:10,696 HE IS ON THEIR HIT LIST. 165 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:11,697 Gruber: OH DEAR. 166 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,699 RENE, MY FRIEND. 167 00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:16,201 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 168 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:18,704 I WILL TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY 169 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:20,205 FOR THIS OCCURRENCE, OFFICER. 170 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:23,709 AND WHO IS GOING TO PEE FOR THE POSSOIR? 171 00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,210 I AM FULLY COMPREHENSIVE. 172 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:26,712 SEND THE BILL TO BERLIN. 173 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:31,717 IS THERE ANYBODY THERE? 174 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:33,218 THERE'S NOBODY ABOUT, CARSTAIRS. 175 00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,723 THE PLACE LOOKS LIKE THE MARIE CELESTE. 176 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,225 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A CLASSICAL EDUCATION. 177 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,228 I SAW THE FILM. 178 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:45,231 I'M FED UP WITH BEING COOPED UP IN THAT DAMN CUPBOARD. 179 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:46,232 LET'S HAVE A DRINK. 180 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,235 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU'VE NOTICED, 181 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:51,737 BUT THOSE FROGGIES AREN'T DOING MUCH 182 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,739 ABOUT GETTING US HOME. 183 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:54,740 SAY WHEN. 184 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:58,244 WHEN. 185 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,246 YOU KNOW, 186 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,249 I'VE BEEN SCRATCHING THE OLD BRAIN BOX. 187 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,250 STEADY ON. 188 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,252 WHY DON'T WE GO OUT, 189 00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:07,753 FIND A JERRY, 190 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:09,254 GIVE OURSELVES UP, 191 00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,757 AND GET INTO A PROPER PRISONER OF WAR CAMP? 192 00:08:11,757 --> 00:08:13,759 YES. 193 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,260 AT LEAST WE'D GET LETTERS FROM HOME. 194 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:17,763 AND RED CROSS PARCELS. 195 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,765 AND THEY HAVE A PROPER ESCAPE COMMITTEE 196 00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:21,266 RUN BY PROFESSIONALS. 197 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:24,270 WE'D PROBABLY GET A DECENT CUP OF TEA, AS WELL. 198 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,771 AND THEY PUT ON PLAYS AND THINGS. 199 00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:27,272 THAT'S RIGHT, YES. 200 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:31,777 I ALWAYS FANCIED PLAYING HEATHCLIFF IN "WUTHERING HEIGHTS." 201 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:32,778 YES. 202 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,279 YOU WOULDN'T BE BAD. 203 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,282 MIND YOU, THEY DON'T HAVE GIRLS. 204 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,284 YOU'D PROBABLY HAVE TO SHAVE OFF YOUR MUSTACHE 205 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:39,785 AND PLAY CATHY. 206 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:43,288 CUSTOMERS. QUICK, ATTEND TO THEM. 207 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,790 Edith: GIVE THEM A DRINK. 208 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,292 OH, IT IS THE BRITISH AIRMEN! 209 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,794 WHAT ARE THEY DOING DOWN HERE? 210 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:52,297 YOU SHOULD BE UPSTAIRS, IN THE CUPBOARD. 211 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:58,804 WHAT'S SHE GOING ON ABOUT? 212 00:08:58,804 --> 00:09:00,806 I THINK SHE WANTS TO TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS 213 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,808 AND RIP HER BLOUSE OPEN. 214 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,310 SHE LOOKS A BIT DESPERATE. 215 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,314 LOOK OUT, THERE ARE TWO GERMANS COMING. 216 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:09,815 I WILL SMASH THEM OVER THE HEAD 217 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:10,816 AND HIDE THEIR BODIES IN THE CELLAR. 218 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:12,317 PUT IT DOWN. 219 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,820 COME IN, WELCOME. 220 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:16,822 WE HAVE A TABLE FOR YOU BY THE WINDOW. 221 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:19,825 SHALL WE SURRENDER TO THEM? 222 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,827 GOOD HEAVENS, NO. 223 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,328 WE'RE OFFICERS, THEY'RE PRIVATES. 224 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,331 WE SHOULD ONLY GIVE OURSELVES UP 225 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,832 TO OFFICERS. 226 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,837 THIS ONE REALLY IS KEEN, ISN'T SHE? 227 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:33,839 SORRY, OLD GIRL, SOME OTHER TIME. 228 00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,841 GO-Y WALKIE, 229 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:38,343 FIND-Y JERRY. 230 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:41,347 GIVE-Y UPPY. 231 00:09:41,347 --> 00:09:43,849 SHE'S NOT CHINESE, YOU KNOW. 232 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:45,350 COME ON, CARSTAIRS. 233 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,355 QUICK. FIND OFFICER CRABTREE, 234 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,357 HE SPEAKS THEIR LANGUAGE. 235 00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,359 HE CERTAINLY DOESN'T SPEAK OURS. 236 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,733 HOW DARE YOU TRY TO BLUFF A SENIOR GESTAPO OFFICER 237 00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,736 WITH A PAIR OF TENS. 238 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:04,737 I HAVE WON. 239 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,740 AM I ALLOWED TO SEE YOUR HAND, HERR FLICK? 240 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:10,242 NO, YOU HAVE LOST. 241 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:13,745 I GET YOUR GESTAPO PEN AND PENCIL SET. 242 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,249 HELGA. 243 00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,750 I AM HERE TO REPORT IN ACCORDANCE 244 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,252 WITH YOUR ORDERS, HERR FLICK. 245 00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:21,753 FIRST, YOU MAY KISS ME. 246 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:26,258 VON SMALLHAUSEN, PULL DOWN YOUR BANDAGES. 247 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,268 OOH, THAT SOUNDED LIKE A REAL SMACKER. 248 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:38,270 GET OUT. 249 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,780 WAS THAT KISS SATISFACTORY, HERR FLICK? 250 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,782 NO. YOU SMELL OF DIESEL. 251 00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,284 LIEUTENANT GRUBER GAVE ME A RIDE 252 00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,785 IN HIS LITTLE TANK. 253 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:54,787 SIT. 254 00:10:57,289 --> 00:10:58,790 DID YOU GAIN ANY INFORMATION 255 00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:00,292 ABOUT THE PLOT TO BLOW UP HITLER? 256 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:02,294 NO, BUT I AM MAKING PROGRESS. 257 00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:05,797 HE ALLOWED ME TO MANIPULATE HIS GEARS FROM THIRD TO TOP. 258 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,801 THIS, I AM INFORMED BY LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 259 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,302 IS A RARE PRIVILEGE. 260 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,804 THIS IS GOOD. WHAT ELSE? 261 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,807 HE ALSO DEMONSTRATED TO ME HIS GUN, 262 00:11:14,807 --> 00:11:17,810 BUT WHILST SHOWING ME HOW TO PUT ONE UP THE SPOUT, 263 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,812 HE CAUGHT HIS FINGERS IN THE BREECH-BLOCK. 264 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,814 IT IS A DANGEROUS MECHANISM, 265 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:25,317 AND RESULTS IN MANY PAINFUL ACCIDENTS. 266 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:27,319 DO YOU HAVE TIME FOR OUR USUAL GAME OF POKER? 267 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,821 - OF COURSE. - SHALL I DEAL? 268 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:30,823 WHY BOTHER? 269 00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:42,334 NOW THAT I KNOW YOU ARE A CLOSE FRIEND 270 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,336 OF THE BRAVEST MAN IN FRANCE, 271 00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:46,838 I SHOULD GIVE MYSELF TO YOU. 272 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,341 HEH HEH HEH. 273 00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,843 UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO BLOW UP A TRAIN, 274 00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,846 THE 12:30 EXPRESS FROM PARIS. 275 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,348 COULD YOU NOT WAIT 276 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,850 FOR THE GOODS TRAIN AT 4:15? 277 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,359 UNTIL THE NEXT TIME. 278 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:14,867 I CANNOT EVEN REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME. 279 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,372 RENE, WHAT HAPPENED? 280 00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:22,374 THE MARK OF THE HAIRY GOOSEBERRY 281 00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:23,875 HAS SAVED OUR LIVES. 282 00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:25,377 I WAS ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO THEM 283 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,379 ALL MY BRAVE EXPLOITS THAT I CARRIED OUT 284 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,881 UNDER THE GUISE OF A COWARDLY CAFE OWNER. 285 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,383 SO WE ARE IN THE CLEAR. 286 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:32,884 LET'S GET BACK TO THE CAFE. 287 00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:35,888 UNFORTUNATELY, SHE HAS DECIDED THAT I AM HER DESTINY 288 00:12:35,888 --> 00:12:36,889 AND SHE WILL NOT LET US GO. 289 00:12:38,390 --> 00:12:39,891 WHY DO YOU WORRY? 290 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,394 SHE IS AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN, 291 00:12:42,394 --> 00:12:44,896 WITH BEAUTIFUL BOOBIES. 292 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:48,400 BUT THINK OF THE LIFE I WOULD HAVE TO LEAD-- 293 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,402 BLOWING UP BRIDGES AND TRAINS, 294 00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,904 DODGING BULLETS, SLEEPING IN HEDGES, 295 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:54,406 LIVING IN DITCHES. 296 00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,908 THIS IS NO LIFE FOR A COWARD. 297 00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,912 ESPECIALLY ONE WITH A GOOD BUSINESS. 298 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:00,913 COME ON, LET'S GO. 299 00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,419 THE WELFARE COMMITTEE OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 300 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:09,421 OF WHICH I AM THE CHAIRPERSON, 301 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,422 HAS HAD A MEETING. 302 00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:13,425 BY A SHOW OF DAGGERS WE HAVE DECIDED 303 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,926 THAT I WILL BE ALLOWED TO MARRY YOU, 304 00:13:14,927 --> 00:13:16,929 AND THE WEDDING CAN TAKE PLACE ON SATURDAY. 305 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,932 OH, THAT IS GOOD NEWS. 306 00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:22,434 WE WILL COMMANDEER THE CHURCH OF SAINT PAUL 307 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:23,935 IN THE RUE DE VALLEE. 308 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,437 WE WILL KIDNAP THE PRIEST, 309 00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:26,438 AND WE WILL BREAK INTO 310 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,939 THE DRESS SHOP OF MADAME LENARE, 311 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,441 AND STEAL THE WEDDING DRESS 312 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:30,942 WHICH IS DISPLAYED IN HER WINDOW. 313 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,945 FOR YOU, A MORNING SUIT AND TOP HAT 314 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:35,447 WILL BE ACQUIRED BY FORCING THE BACK DOOR 315 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,949 OF THE 500 FRANC TAILORS IN THE HIGH STREET. 316 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:41,453 I SEE ALL THE NORMAL ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE. 317 00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,455 WHO IS DOING THE CATERING? 318 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,957 OR WILL IT JUST BE SANDWICHES ON THE RUN? 319 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:48,460 I CAN HARDLY WAIT UNTIL THE MOMENT WHEN WE ARE ONE. 320 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:51,463 LOOK, DENISE, PERHAPS I HAD BETTER GO HOME. 321 00:13:51,463 --> 00:13:53,965 IT WOULD BE UNLUCKY FOR ME TO SEE YOU IN THAT WEDDING DRESS, 322 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,468 PARTICULARLY IN VIEW OF THE WAY YOU ARE ACQUIRING IT. 323 00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:57,969 PERHAPS YOU ARE RIGHT. 324 00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,471 AND IF YOU WERE HERE, 325 00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:01,973 THE BONDS OF MY SELF CONTROL WOULD SURELY BURST, 326 00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,976 AND I WOULD THROW MYSELF UPON YOU 327 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,978 AS IF I WERE ONE OF THE CAGED LIONS 328 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:07,479 THAT I USED TO TRAIN. 329 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,983 YES, WELL, THERE IS THAT AS WELL. 330 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,484 NOW LOOK, YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEK, 331 00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:13,485 BLOWING THINGS UP, 332 00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:15,987 AND I WILL SEE YOU AT THE CHURCH ON SATURDAY. 333 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,489 IT WILL BE SO. 334 00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:22,995 UNTIL THEN. ( growls ) 335 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:26,498 OH, YES. ( growls ) 336 00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:27,999 SHE'S VERY KEEN. 337 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,002 SHE IS DEMENTED ABOUT YOU. 338 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:32,004 SURELY, THERE MUST BE SOMEBODY ELSE 339 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:33,005 THAT SHE FANCIES? 340 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,007 THERE WAS BUT ONE MAN IN HER LIFE, 341 00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,009 AND HE LET HER DOWN. 342 00:14:37,009 --> 00:14:39,011 HE WAS DEAD AS HE HIT THE GROUND. 343 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,012 HEART ATTACK? 344 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,014 SHE THREW HIM OFF THE EIFFEL TOWER. 345 00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:45,517 THAT IS ENOUGH TO GIVE ANYBODY A HEART ATTACK. 346 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,018 SEE YOU SATURDAY. 347 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,323 GOOD MORNING. 348 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:57,829 IT'S THAT UNDERTAKER CHAPPIE GOING TO THE CAFE. 349 00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,833 Fairfax: I HOPE THE OLD GIRL HASN'T SNUFFED IT. 350 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:05,337 AT LEAST IF SHE HAS, WE GET A BED. 351 00:15:05,337 --> 00:15:08,340 I'M NOT SHARING WITH YOU AGAIN. 352 00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,841 WE'LL TAKE IT IN TURNS. 353 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,343 ANYWAY, WE'RE GOING TO GIVE OURSELVES UP, 354 00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:13,345 SO IT DOESN'T APPLY. 355 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:23,355 MY, MY. THOSE PEACHES LOOK MOST APPETIZING. 356 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,856 WE WILL HAVE TWO. 357 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:26,859 HOW MUCH IS THAT? 358 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,360 DO NOT PAY. 359 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,362 WE ARE THE CONQUERORS. 360 00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:32,864 IF WE WISH TO CONSUME A COUPLE OF PEACHES, 361 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:33,866 WE MAY DO SO. 362 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,869 GO AWAY! 363 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,872 YOU ARE FAR TOO LENIENT WITH THESE PEASANTS. 364 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,373 YES, GENERAL. 365 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:42,874 I WILL BE MORE STERN IN FUTURE. 366 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:43,876 GOOD. 367 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:46,378 WE ARE IN DANGER OF BECOMING A LAUGHING STOCK. 368 00:15:46,378 --> 00:15:47,379 I AGREE. 369 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:50,882 THE FRENCH ARE BECOMING VERY CHEEKY. 370 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,885 PUTTING SMOKE BOMBS DOWN MY CHIMNEY 371 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:53,886 IS MORE THAN CHEEKY, COLONEL. 372 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,888 YOU ARE TOO EASY-GOING. YOU MUST BE 373 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,890 MUCH MORE SEVERE WITH THEM. IS THIS UNDERSTOOD? 374 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,892 - YES, GENERAL. - GOOD. 375 00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,393 LET IT BE DONE. 376 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:04,396 HERE COME SOME JERRY OFFICERS. SHALL WE DO IT? 377 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:05,397 YES, LET'S. 378 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:07,899 EXCUSE ME. 379 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,402 WE'RE BRITISH AIRMEN. 380 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,405 WE WISH TO SURRENDER. 381 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,407 IMPERTINENT PEASANTS! 382 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,410 YOU ARE BEING VERY CHEEKY. 383 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:20,913 OOH, AH, OW! 384 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,415 I SAY, STEADY ON, THAT HURTS. 385 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,916 THAT WAS EXCELLENT. 386 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,418 THAT WILL TEACH THEM. 387 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:28,420 OH! 388 00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:32,424 MAKE A NOTE OF HIS NUMBER AND WE'LL REPORT HIM 389 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:35,427 TO THE GENEVA CONVENTION. 390 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,929 Carstairs: I SAY, LOOK, THERE'S THE ITAI OFFICER. 391 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:40,932 WHAT'S ITAI FOR "I SURRENDER"? 392 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,935 MOST OF THOSE ICE CREAM SELLERS 393 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,937 SPEAK A BIT OF ENGLISH. COME ON. 394 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,441 WE, BRITISH. 395 00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:50,942 SURRENDER, SURRENDER. 396 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,445 DON'T SHOOT, IT'S A FAIR COP. 397 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,949 WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 398 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:57,950 WALK THE OTHER WAY. 399 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:03,956 MAMMA, 400 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,457 MONSIEUR ALPHONSE, THE UNDERTAKER, 401 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,959 IS HERE TO PAY HIS RESPECTS. 402 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,463 I AM 5'2". TELL HIM TO GO AWAY. 403 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,466 DEAR MADAME FANNY, 404 00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:17,469 I BRING FLOWERS TO THE BEAUTIFUL LADY 405 00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:18,970 WHO MAY, PRAY GOD, 406 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,973 SOON BE MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. 407 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:21,974 WHAT IS HE SAYING? 408 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,476 HAS RENE KICKED THE BUCKET? 409 00:17:24,476 --> 00:17:26,478 WE DO NOT KNOW, MAMMA, BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. 410 00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:29,481 THE COMMUNISTS HAVE HIM, AND HE IS ON THEIR HIT LIST. 411 00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:32,984 BETTER DEAD THAN RED. 412 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,487 IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS DISTRESSING NEWS, 413 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,988 I HAVE THE HONOR 414 00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,490 TO ASK FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAND 415 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:39,991 IN WEDLOCK. 416 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,493 OH! 417 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,495 WHAT WILL BECOME OF ME? 418 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,997 THERE IS A GRANNY ANNEX OVER THE MORTUARY. 419 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:50,002 PERMISSION NOT GRANTED. 420 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,004 YOU MAY LIVE HERE, OR ANYWHERE YOU WANT. 421 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,006 WHAT WOULD SATISFY YOU? 422 00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:59,011 A COTTAGE WITH ROSES AROUND THE DOOR, 423 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,013 A PERSONAL SERVANT 424 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,016 AND A HANDSOME CHAUFFEUR 425 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,018 TO PUSH MY WHEELCHAIR. 426 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,520 YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, 427 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,021 BUT I AGREE TO YOUR TERMS. 428 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:13,025 OH, WELL, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION. 429 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:14,526 OH, THANK YOU, MAMMA. 430 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,027 WE WILL LAY THE FIRST BRICK 431 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,529 IMMEDIATELY THE WAR IS OVER. 432 00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,030 NO, NO, NO, NO. 433 00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,033 THE FOUNDATIONS MUST BE LAID 434 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,036 IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE WEDDING. 435 00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,038 GETTING LAID AFTER THE WAR 436 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,040 WILL BE NO GOOD TO ME. 437 00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,042 I AGREE. 438 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,685 YVETTE. 439 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,187 RENE. 440 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,689 BACK FROM THE DEAD. 441 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,692 I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER AGAIN 442 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,693 WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR. 443 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,194 ME, TOO. 444 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,696 OH, RENE, HOLD ME, 445 00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:54,700 CRUSH ME IN YOUR VICE-LIKE GRIP. 446 00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,201 - OH. - OH. 447 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:00,706 OH, HOW I HAVE MISSED 448 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:04,710 THE SMELL OF GARLIC AND HAIR OIL. 449 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,211 OH, PROMISE ME 450 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,213 YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. 451 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:11,716 WELL, I AM CERTAINLY AVAILABLE UNTIL SATURDAY. 452 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,218 WHERE IS EDITH? 453 00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,220 SHE'S UPSTAIRS WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW. 454 00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:17,722 TELL HER I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE GRAVE. 455 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:23,228 RENE, WILL YOU TELL HER TODAY 456 00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,229 THAT WE PLAN TO MARRY? 457 00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:28,233 I WILL TELL HER THAT THERE ARE MARRIAGE PLANS AFOOT. 458 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,234 NOW GO QUICKLY. 459 00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:39,745 RENE. 460 00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,246 MIMI. 461 00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:43,248 IS THIS A GHOST I SEE BEFORE ME, 462 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:46,251 OR JUST A FIGMENT OF MY TORTURED MIND? 463 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:49,754 NO, IT IS YOUR OWN LOVABLE RENE. 464 00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,256 AH. 465 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,258 LET MY LIPS FIND YOUR LIPS. 466 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,260 LET MY ARMS FIND YOUR ARMS. 467 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,762 LET MY HEART BEAT IN TIME WITH YOUR HEART. 468 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,765 WELL, THIS MAY NOT BE EASY, 469 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:00,766 BUT WE CAN PRACTICE. 470 00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,775 I CANNOT HEAR YOUR HEART AT ALL. 471 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,277 YOU ARE LISTENING TO MY APPENDIX. 472 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,781 THANK YOU FOR YOUR BLESSING, MAMMA. 473 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,283 DO IT QUICKLY, MY CHILDREN. 474 00:20:18,283 --> 00:20:19,784 WE INTEND TO. 475 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,288 GOOD, GOOD. 476 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:26,791 I WAS YOUNG AND IMPETUOUS AT YOUR AGE. 477 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,294 AND IT LASTED UNTIL I WAS-- 478 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:31,796 NEARLY HIS AGE. 479 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,302 EDITH, RENE-- HE IS DOWN BELOW. 480 00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,804 I AM NOT SURPRISED, 481 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,808 HE IS NOT THE TYPE TO GO TO HEAVEN. 482 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,811 NO, HE HAS BEEN RELEASED UNHARMED. 483 00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:46,812 DRAT. 484 00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:50,315 MONSIEUR ALPHONSE IS OVERCOME 485 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,317 - BY THE GOOD NEWS. - IT IS MY DICKY TICKER. 486 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:53,818 QUICK ON THE BED WITH HIM. 487 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,320 AAAHHH! 488 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,830 SO, I TURN MY BACK FOR ONE MINUTE, 489 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,833 AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. 490 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:11,336 DO YOU NOT REALIZE YOU CAN BE SEEN FROM THE BELFRY OF THE CHURCH 491 00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:14,339 BY THE VERGER WHEN HE IS OILING HIS MECHANISM? 492 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,341 HE HAS A DICKY TICKER. 493 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:18,343 IN BED WITH YOUR MOTHER, I AM NOT SURPRISED. 494 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:20,846 FORGIVE ME, MONSIEUR, 495 00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:21,847 IT WAS THE SHOCK. 496 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,849 I AM NOW FULLY RECOVERED. 497 00:21:23,849 --> 00:21:26,351 GOOD. EDITH, SIT DOWN. 498 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:28,353 NOW, EDITH, WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY TO YOU 499 00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:29,854 MAY COME AS A SURPRISE. 500 00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,357 IT HAS BEEN ARRANGED FOR ME TO MARRY 501 00:21:32,357 --> 00:21:34,359 AT THE CHURCH OF SAINT PAUL, 502 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,360 IN THE RUE DE VALLEE, 503 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,861 NEXT SATURDAY MORNING. 504 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,864 OH, RENE. 505 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:40,365 AH. 506 00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:43,368 EDITH, THE PERSON THAT I AM TO MARRY, 507 00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:45,370 MY BRIDE TO BE-- 508 00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,872 THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME TO SAY. 509 00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,374 BE KIND, RENE. 510 00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:51,876 I WILL LEAVE THE ROOM. 511 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:54,379 DO NOT WORRY, RENE, MY DEAREST HEART, 512 00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:56,381 WORDS ARE NOT NECESSARY. 513 00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,883 THIS IS THE MOMENT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, 514 00:21:58,884 --> 00:22:00,886 FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME, 515 00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,889 BUT IS IN FACT, NINE AND A HALF WEEKS. 516 00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,892 EDITH, DO NOT MAKE THIS DIFFICULT FOR ME. 517 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:08,894 UNDER THREAT OF DEATH, I HAVE TO MARRY 518 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:11,396 THE HEAD OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE. 519 00:22:11,396 --> 00:22:12,397 YOU HAVE TO MARRY 520 00:22:12,397 --> 00:22:15,900 THE HEAD OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE? 521 00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:18,904 EDWARD "SCARFACE" SABLON? 522 00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:23,408 NO, HE IS THE PARIS BRANCH. 523 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,911 I AM TALKING ABOUT THE NOUVION WEST SUB-AREA. 524 00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:27,913 THEY ARE AFFILIATED TO PARIS, 525 00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:29,414 BUT THEY WORK INDEPENDENTLY. 526 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:31,916 PARDON ME, BUT WILL YOU COME TO THE POINT? 527 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,419 WHO ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY? 528 00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:36,921 I AM TO WED DENISE LAROQUE. 529 00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,423 NO. 530 00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:39,924 NO. 531 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:41,426 YES. 532 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,927 IF I DO NOT DO THIS TERRIBLE THING, 533 00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:44,429 I AM A DEAD DUCK. 534 00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:46,931 NO MAN HAS EVER SAID NO TO DENISE LAROQUE AND LIVED. 535 00:22:46,932 --> 00:22:48,433 AH! 536 00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,435 MY DICKY TICKER. 537 00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:52,937 MADAME EDITH, 538 00:22:52,938 --> 00:22:55,440 MADAME, DO NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF. 539 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,441 AH! 540 00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:57,442 DO YOU NOT SEE-- 541 00:22:57,442 --> 00:22:59,944 ALL OF OUR DREAMS CAN NOW BE FULFILLED. 542 00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:00,946 AH! 543 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,948 OH, I SEE YOU HAVE TOLD HER 544 00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,449 THAT YOU ARE TO MARRY ME. 545 00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,451 DO NOT WORRY, MADAME EDITH, 546 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:09,454 I WILL MAKE HIM A WONDERFUL WIFE. 547 00:23:09,454 --> 00:23:10,455 WHAT? 548 00:23:10,455 --> 00:23:11,956 YOU! 549 00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:12,958 RENE, 550 00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:15,460 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SAY FOR YOURSELF? 551 00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,463 OH, MY DICKY TICKER! 552 00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,967 ( theme music playing )