1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:06,072 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,589 THE STRAIN OF THIS TERRIBLE WAR 3 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,091 IS GETTING WORSE. 4 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,592 I HAVE BEEN PRESUMED DEAD, 5 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,595 BLOWN UP IN A WINDMILL, 6 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,597 TAKEN PRISONER AS A LOVE SLAVE 7 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,098 BY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 8 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:35,601 SHOT IN THE BUM BY A HUNTER, 9 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,604 AND, WHILE POSING AS A WAXWORK 10 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,105 AT THE TOWN MUSEUM, 11 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,107 TOUCHED UP BY LIEUTENANT GRUBER. 12 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,111 THE GERMANS NOW KNOW THAT I AM ALIVE 13 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,612 AND I HAVE EXPLAINED MY ABSENCE 14 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,115 BY TELLING THEM THAT AFTER THE EXPLOSION 15 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,116 AT THE WINDMILL, 16 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,118 I TEMPORARILY LOST MY MEMORY. 17 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,620 I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, 18 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,122 BUT I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT IS. 19 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,124 NEVER MIND, I WILL THINK OF IT LATER. 20 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:02,128 - OH, RENE. - OH, YVETTE. 21 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,130 AT LAST WE ARE ALONE. 22 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,132 HOLD ME, KISS ME. 23 00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,138 OH, IT SEEMS SO VERY LONG. 24 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,640 WHAT DOES? 25 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:18,144 SINCE WE LAST HAD TIME FOR EACH OTHER. 26 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:21,147 OH, WITHOUT YOU MY LIFE IS SO EMPTY. 27 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:24,650 I WILL DO MY VERY BEST TO FILL YOUR EMPTINESS. 28 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,654 GOOD, LET US GO BEHIND THE HENHOUSE AT ONCE. 29 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,155 NO, NO, NO, PATIENCE, YVETTE. 30 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,656 THE TIME NOW IS NOT RIGHT. 31 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,158 BUT I WILL MEET YOU TONIGHT 32 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,659 UPSTAIRS IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD 33 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,161 WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 12:00. 34 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,662 OH RENE, 35 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,164 UNTIL THEN, 36 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,166 EVERY SECOND WILL SEEM LIKE A DAY, 37 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:43,169 EVERY MINUTE WILL SEEM LIKE A YEAR. 38 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,670 AT THAT RATE, 39 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,173 BY MIDNIGHT YOU WILL BE WELL OVER 102. 40 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,675 HA HA! OH, RENE. 41 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:50,677 ( kissing sounds ) 42 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,178 RENE! 43 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,679 WHAT ARE YOU DOING 44 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,181 WITH THAT SERVING GIRL IN YOUR ARMS? 45 00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:58,184 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 46 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,186 - CAN YOU NOT SEE-- - STOP! 47 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,688 FOR A CHANGE, I WOULD LIKE HER TO EXPLAIN. 48 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:04,190 ME? 49 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,692 OH, WELL... 50 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,695 I WAS CROSSING THE ROOM 51 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:09,696 WHEN I-- OH YES, 52 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,699 I-- I FELL OVER THIS LEG OF THE CHAIR, 53 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,200 AND I WOULD HAVE FALLEN 54 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,703 IF RENE HAD NOT CAUGHT ME IN HIS STRONG ARMS. 55 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:18,705 NO, NO, MY DEAR, SWEET CHILD, 56 00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,206 YOU MUST NOT LIE FOR ME. 57 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,708 I DID NOT WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, 58 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,712 BUT I HAVE HAD A MINOR SPASM. 59 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,714 NOT A SPASM! 60 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:28,715 IT HAS PASSED, 61 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,717 AND WILL NOT BE MENTIONED AGAIN. 62 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,719 SUFFICE TO SAY THAT I MUST 63 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,220 MAKE THE MOST OF MY TIME 64 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,221 LEFT TO ME HERE. 65 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,223 OH, SIT DOWN, RENE. 66 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,225 HUH? OH, YES. 67 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,227 I AM SO SORRY. 68 00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:44,730 I ALWAYS FORGET HOW FRAIL YOU ARE, 69 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,233 AND AM ONLY REMINDED WHEN YOU COME TO BED. 70 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,741 I FORGIVE YOU, EDITH. 71 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,242 BUT PLEASE, PLEASE, 72 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,244 DO NOT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS IN FUTURE. 73 00:02:58,244 --> 00:02:59,745 NOW, YVETTE, 74 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:02,248 YOU GO AND LIE DOWN, AND GET OVER THE SHOCK. 75 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,750 YES, RENE. 76 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,253 ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE ALL RIGHT, RENE? 77 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,255 SINCE YOU OFFICIALLY CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD, 78 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,257 YOU HAVE BEEN BEHAVING RATHER STRANGELY. 79 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,259 WELL, I HAVE HAD A TRAUMATIC FEW DAYS. 80 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:14,760 RENE! 81 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:17,263 AND I THINK THEY ARE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE TRAUMATIC. 82 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:20,266 I MUST SPEAK WITH YOU, URGENTLY. 83 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,767 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 84 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,270 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 85 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,272 ACTING ON INFORMATION 86 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,773 RECEIVED FROM BRITISH INTELLIGENCE, 87 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,276 MY GIRLS AND I HAVE MANAGED TO OBTAIN 88 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,778 TOP SECRET GERMAN PLANS FOR THE DEFENSE OF FRANCE, 89 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,280 WHEN THE ALLIES INVADE. 90 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,781 HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?! 91 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,784 WE WAYLAID THE COURIER FROM BERLIN, 92 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:41,287 AND WHILE MY GIRLS KEPT HIM BUSY IN A HAYSTACK, 93 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,789 I PHOTOGRAPHED THE PLANS IN HIS BRIEFCASE. 94 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,292 I HAVE THE MICROFILM HERE. 95 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:49,295 A COUP LIKE THIS COULD TURN THE TIDE. 96 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:50,296 I KNOW. 97 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,298 NOW, WE MUST SEND THE MICROFILM 98 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,799 BY CARRIER PIGEON TO ENGLAND. 99 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,302 BUT FIRST WE MUST RADIO TO LONDON. 100 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,304 OH, CAN IT NOT WAIT TILL LATER? 101 00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,306 OH, BUT WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS? 102 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:02,808 WELL, IT IS JUST THAT MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC 103 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:05,812 HAVE ONLY JUST MADE IT UP AFTER THEIR ROW. 104 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,814 I DID NOT WANT TO DISTURB THEM, 105 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,316 THEY ARE LIKE A PAIR OF LOVEBIRDS. 106 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,319 Fanny: GET OUT, YOU TWO-TIMING RAT! 107 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:14,820 LOVEBIRDS? 108 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,322 MORE LIKE FIGHTING COCKS. 109 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,823 LET US GET UP THERE 110 00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,826 BEFORE THEY DEMOLISH THE ATTIC. 111 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,296 GET OUT! 112 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,799 STOP THAT, YOU SILLY OLD BAT. 113 00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,801 OH, MAMMA, WHAT IS HAPPENING? 114 00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,804 ASK HIM, THE UNFAITHFUL WRETCH. 115 00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:34,306 HE HAS CHEATED ON ME AGAIN. 116 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:36,809 I FOUND THIS LETTER IN HIS SUITCASE. 117 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,310 LISTEN. 118 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,314 "MY LIPS BURN FOR YOURS. 119 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,816 I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOU 120 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,318 TO SWING ONCE MORE 121 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,322 FROM THE CHANDELIER, 122 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:51,324 DRESSED ONLY IN 123 00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:53,826 YOUR TOP HAT AND SOCKS." 124 00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:57,830 I CANNOT READ THE SIGNATURE. 125 00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,832 WHAT SORT OF MAN ARE YOU? 126 00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:02,334 CERTAINLY NOT SHY. 127 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:05,838 I AM THE SORT THAT GOT THE LETTER IN 1927. 128 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,841 HE ADMITS IT, THE LECHER. 129 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,845 AND WHAT SORT OF WOMAN 130 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:15,347 WOULD WRITE SUCH THINGS? 131 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,350 MAMMA, 132 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:19,352 THIS IS YOUR SIGNATURE. 133 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:23,355 THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL HER. 134 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:25,858 OH, SO YOU WERE THE ONE. 135 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,361 I STILL HAVE THE TOPPER, 136 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,863 AND THE SOCKS. 137 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:33,365 FAT LOT OF GOOD THAT IS, 138 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,368 WE HAVE NO CHANDELIER. 139 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,370 WE CANNOT WASTE TIME LIKE THIS. 140 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:38,871 MONSIEUR LECLERC, GO AND GET ONE 141 00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:41,373 OF THE HOMING PIGEONS FROM RENE'S HENHOUSE, 142 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:42,875 AND MEET US IN THE SQUARE. 143 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,877 NOW WE MUST RADIO TO LONDON. 144 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,881 AARGHH! THE KNOBS, 145 00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,383 THE FLASHING KNOBS! 146 00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,885 SHUT UP. 147 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:56,389 'ALLO, LONDON, 148 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,392 THIS IS BLUE TIT CALLING. OVER. 149 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:01,394 What is your message? Over. 150 00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:04,397 WE HAVE THE PLANS YOU ASKED FOR. 151 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:07,400 WE ARE SENDING THEM BY HOMING PIGEON IMMEDIATELY. 152 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,401 OVER. 153 00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,403 Well done, Blue Tit. 154 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:11,904 And here is a personal message, 155 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,405 recorded last night, 156 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,908 by Mr. Churchill for Nighthawk, 157 00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:18,410 hero of the resistance. 158 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,913 THESE WORDS COULD GO DOWN IN HISTORY. 159 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,917 Churchill: Well done, Ronald. 160 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:29,922 RONALD? 161 00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:35,428 GOOD MOANING. 162 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,429 GOOD MOANING. 163 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,432 WHAT ARE YOU DEEING WITH THAT PODGEON? 164 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:42,435 WE ARE SENDING VITAL INFORMATION TO LONDON. 165 00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:44,937 THAT IS A ROSKY BOSNESS. 166 00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:46,438 I WILL STAND LEAKOUT FOR YOU, 167 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,941 IN CASE YOU ARE SPITTED BY THE NITZIS. 168 00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:52,444 THE PIGEON IS READY. 169 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,947 FLY BRAVELY AND SWIFTLY, 170 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:56,949 MY LITTLE PIGEON. 171 00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,951 WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THE PIGEON, EDITH? 172 00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,453 HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU. 173 00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,956 HE WILL SENSE THE ENCOURAGEMENT IN MY VOICE. 174 00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,959 ARE THERE ANY GERMANS ABOUT? 175 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,461 NOT A NITZI IN SUIT. 176 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,464 WE ARE READY TO LUNCH. 177 00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,967 THEN GOODBYE, PIGEON. 178 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,974 Edith: THERE HE GOES. STRAIGHT FOR ENGLAND. 179 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:24,977 THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO ENGLAND. 180 00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:26,478 HE SEEMS TO BE CIRCLING. 181 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:29,482 AND COMING BACK TOWARDS US. 182 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,986 HE DOES NOT APPEAR 183 00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:36,488 TO WINT TO GOO TO ONGLAND. 184 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,491 PERHAPS YOU COULD SHOW 185 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,993 THIS STUPID BIRD A MAP. 186 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,494 WE WILL TRY AGAIN. 187 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,501 DRAT. 188 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:51,003 WHICH HOMING PIGEON 189 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:52,504 DID YOU GET FROM THE HENHOUSE? 190 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,507 THE ONE THAT LIVES IN NOUVION. 191 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,008 YOU SILLY OLD FOOL. 192 00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:59,011 HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET THE DEFENSE PLANS TO LONDON NOW? 193 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:02,014 THERE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN AN ALMIGHTY KICK-UP. 194 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:03,015 THIS WEEK IS 195 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:05,517 THE ANNUAL FISHMONGER'S PARADE TO THE COAST. 196 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:08,020 WE WILL ENTER A FLOAT, TO WHICH MY GIRLS 197 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:10,022 WILL ATTACH PROPELLERS AND ENGINES. 198 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,024 AND IF WE SUCCEED, 199 00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,026 CHURCHILL WILL JUMP FOR JOY. 200 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,528 NO DOUBT CAUSING A RUSH OF TRUSSMAKERS 201 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:19,031 TO NUMBER 10 DOWNING STREET. 202 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:21,533 WE WILL TRY THE PIGEON ONE MORE TIME. 203 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:25,037 OH, NO WONDER IT WILL NOT LEAVE. 204 00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:27,039 IT HAS A BABY. 205 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,041 NOW YOU KNOW WHY I NEVER WANTED CHILDREN. 206 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:38,550 THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER ARE HERE, GENERAL! 207 00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:39,552 SEND THEM IN. 208 00:08:39,552 --> 00:08:41,554 YES, GENERAL. 209 00:08:41,554 --> 00:08:43,055 THE GENERAL WILL SEE YOU NOW! 210 00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:48,060 HEIL HITLER. 211 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:49,561 HEIL HITLER. SIT DOWN. 212 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,564 I WILL NOT BEAT ABOUT THE BUSH. 213 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,567 THE WAR IS GOING VERY BADLY. 214 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,569 CERTAIN GENERALS ARE BLAMING HITLER, 215 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,571 AND PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE HIM. 216 00:08:58,571 --> 00:08:59,572 DISGRACEFUL! 217 00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,073 WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? 218 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:03,575 I WOULD. 219 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:05,077 AH, WELL, THAT DOES PUT 220 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:07,079 A DIFFERENT COMPLEXION ON THE MATTER. 221 00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:09,081 IT IS A RELIEF TO KNOW THAT I CAN TRUST YOU. 222 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,583 FOR YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME IN THE ASSASSINATION. 223 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:13,085 PERHAPS I COULD BE EXCUSED? 224 00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,087 I'M A MARRIED MAN. 225 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,589 IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG, 226 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:20,593 YOU WILL HAVE A PROUD WIDOW TO WHOM I SHALL WRITE. 227 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,595 AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU, GRUBER? 228 00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:26,098 I SHOULD LIKE TO BE BURIED WITH HUBERT. 229 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,599 WHICH REGIMENT IS HE IN? 230 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,103 HE IS MY LITTLE TANK. 231 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:35,607 OH, YES, OF COURSE. 232 00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:38,611 NOW, I INTEND TO DELIVER THE PORTRAIT 233 00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,613 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 234 00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:43,616 TO THE FUHRER IN A FRAME PACKED WITH EXPLOSIVES. 235 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:46,619 WHEN HITLER EXAMINES THE PICTURE, 236 00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,120 HE WILL BE BLOWN TO BITS. 237 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,123 BUT WE DO NOT HAVE THE PAINTING, GENERAL. 238 00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:53,625 WE WILL HAVE A FORGERY MADE. 239 00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:56,128 I HAVE BEEN EXAMINING THE LOCAL POLICE RECORDS 240 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,630 AND IT SEEMS THAT THE OLD MAN AT THE CAFE, 241 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,133 ERNEST LECLERC, IS A CONVICTED FORGER. 242 00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,634 I HAVE SENT FOR HIM. 243 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:04,136 HE WILL MAKE A COPY FOR US. 244 00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,638 BUT, GENERAL, HE HAS NOTHING TO COPY. 245 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,140 I HAVE HERE, 246 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:11,643 A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU HOLDING THE PAINTING, GRUBER. 247 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,646 AS A FURTHER HELP, I'VE ARRANGED 248 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,648 WITH PRIVATE HELGA GEERHART, 249 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,149 TO POSE AS THE FALLEN MADONNA FOR US. 250 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,651 GENERAL, IT IS AN INGENIOUS PLAN, 251 00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:23,155 BUT HOW CAN YOU ENSURE IT IS THE FUHRER WHO IS BLOWN UP? 252 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:24,656 SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO BE PRESENT 253 00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,659 TO DETONATE THE FRAME WHEN HITLER RECEIVES IT. 254 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,160 WILL THEY NOT BE KILLED TOO? 255 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,162 THERE IS THAT RISK. 256 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,664 BUT WHOEVER SUCCEEDS WILL HAVE ALMOST EVERY MAN 257 00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,667 IN THE GERMAN ARMY BEHIND HIM. 258 00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:41,673 QUITE A PROSPECT. 259 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:48,714 THIS IS THE FLOAT WE USED 260 00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:51,717 THE LAST TIME NOUVION WON 261 00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:54,219 THE ANNUAL FISHMONGER'S PARADE TO THE COAST. 262 00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:57,223 INCREDIBLE HOW, AFTER ALL THIS TIME, 263 00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,226 THE PONG OF SUCCESS STILL LINGERS. 264 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:02,228 I HAD TO DRESS AS A LUMPFISH, 265 00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:05,231 I REMEMBER IT WELL. I WAS ONLY 16. 266 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,233 AND TO THINK, 267 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,235 I WAVED THIS PARADE FLOAT FAREWELL, 268 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:11,237 NEVER KNOWING THAT MY WIFE-TO-BE 269 00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,739 WAS THE SMALL LUMPYFISH IN THE BACK. 270 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,242 I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN STILL GET INTO THE COSTUME. 271 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,744 DO NOT WORRY, 272 00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,746 THERE IS PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM. 273 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,748 THEY ARE HERE IN THIS BOX. 274 00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,751 RENE, YOU CAN BE NEPTUNE ON HIS THRONE. 275 00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,252 AND SOMEONE-- 276 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,755 WILL HAVE TO BE VENUS UNADORNED 277 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,257 RISING FROM THE SEA IN THIS GIANT CLAM. 278 00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,760 THERE IS ONLY ONE WOMAN IN NOUVION 279 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,762 WHO HAS THE RIGHT QUALITIES 280 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,765 TO ACT THE PART OF VENUS. 281 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,266 OH, I AM SORRY, 282 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,769 BUT UNADORNED I WOULD HAVE NOWHERE TO HIDE A GUN. 283 00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,773 I MEANT MADAME EDITH. 284 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,274 OH, THANK YOU, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE. 285 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,776 I ACCEPT. 286 00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:52,778 OF COURSE, I SHALL HAVE 287 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:55,280 A PIECE OF CHEESECLOTH MODESTLY DRAPED. 288 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,784 BUT, EDITH, 289 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:01,286 VENUS WAS THE GODDESS OF BEAUTY. 290 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,789 I KNOW. 291 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,792 AND WHEN I ARISE, ALMOST UNADORNED, 292 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,293 FROM THE CLAM SHELL, 293 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,796 IT WILL TAKE THE SPECTATORS' BREATH AWAY. 294 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,801 THE MERE THOUGHT MAKES MY TICKER GO ALL DICKY. 295 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,803 MADAME EDITH, WOULD YOU LIKE 296 00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:19,304 TO TRY THE SHELL FOR SIZE NOW? 297 00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:20,306 OF COURSE. 298 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:22,308 EXCUSE ME. 299 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,312 MONSIEUR, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND? 300 00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:29,315 THE SPRING MECHANISM SEEMS TO HAVE RUSTED. 301 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:33,319 ( metal creaks ) 302 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,820 LIE DOWN INSIDE, MADAME EDITH, 303 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,822 LET US SEE IF YOU FIT IT. 304 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,327 IT IS JUST LIKE THE ONES WE SERVE, 305 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:42,328 ONLY BIGGER. 306 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,331 ( metal screeches ) 307 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,336 ( Edith yells ) 308 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:52,838 I'LL GO AND GET A TIRE LEVER. 309 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:54,339 LET ME OUT! 310 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,842 HANG ON, VENUS. 311 00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,349 THE FORGERY IS GOING NICELY. 312 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,851 I MUST SAY, HELGA, 313 00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:08,353 YOU'RE VERY CONVINCING AS THE FALLEN MADONNA. 314 00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,855 HAVE YOU DONE IT BEFORE? 315 00:13:09,855 --> 00:13:10,856 NO, GENERAL. 316 00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,858 BUT I DID ONCE PLAY THE VIRGIN MARY 317 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,359 IN A SCHOOL NATIVITY PLAY. 318 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,363 SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN QUITE SO CONVINCING. 319 00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,865 TOUCH MORE PINK THERE, 320 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:21,867 MONSIEUR LECLERC. 321 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:25,871 THE FACE AND DRESS ARE VERY REALISTIC, 322 00:13:25,871 --> 00:13:28,373 BUT WHAT'S THAT BIG BLANK SPACE IN THE MIDDLE? 323 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,876 I DO NOT WISH TO DISCOMFORT PRIVATE GEERHART 324 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,377 ANY MORE THAN IS NECESSARY. 325 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:34,380 SHE WILL UNCOVER FOR A SHORT TIME, 326 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,882 ONLY FOR THE PAINTING OF THE BOOBIES. 327 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,884 THANK YOU, GENERAL. 328 00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:41,386 IT IS RATHER EMBARRASSING WITH YOU ALL WATCHING. 329 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,889 DO NOT WORRY, HELGA. WE ARE NOT THE SLIGHTEST BIT INTERESTED 330 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:45,891 IN THE PAINTING OF PRIVATES. 331 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:50,395 I AM READY NOW TO DO THE BOOBIES. 332 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,398 VERY WELL. 333 00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,908 YOU MAY UNCOVER YOURSELF BRIEFLY. 334 00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,410 PERHAPS YOU WOULD ALL TURN AWAY FOR A MOMENT. 335 00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,916 ALL EXCEPT THE FORGER. 336 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:20,926 LET US KNOW IF YOU NEED ANOTHER LOOK. 337 00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,928 I THINK ONE WAS ENOUGH. 338 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:31,437 THIS IS THE MISSING LEFT BOOBY 339 00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,439 FROM THE PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA. 340 00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,941 WE MUST CASH IT IN TO ESCAPE TO SOUTH AMERICA. 341 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:39,444 WE WILL NOT GO FAR ON ONE BOOBY, HERR FLICK. 342 00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,448 THE TWO WAITRESSES FROM THE CAFE 343 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,450 PLY THEIR TRADE AS LADIES OF THE NIGHT 344 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,952 UNDERNEATH THE LAMPPOST IN THE SQUARE. 345 00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:48,453 WE WILL KIDNAP THEM 346 00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:49,955 AND STEAL THEIR CLOTHES. 347 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:52,457 THEN USING ONE OF THEIR KEYS, 348 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,460 WE WILL GAIN ENTRY TO THE CAFE 349 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,961 AND SEARCH IT. 350 00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:57,963 A BRILLIANT PLAN, HERR FLICK! 351 00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:00,465 A LONG ONE, BUT BRILLIANT. 352 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,968 WE WILL TRY ON SOME SUITABLE WIGS. 353 00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:10,475 I WILL BE THE TALL BRUNETTE WITH THE GOOD LEGS. 354 00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,979 YOU CAN BE THE SHORT ONE WITH THE BIG BUM. 355 00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,486 DO I LOOK LIKE A TART? 356 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,488 NO. 357 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,990 MORE THE RESULT OF A MATING 358 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,992 BETWEEN A YETI AND A CHIHUAHUA. 359 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:31,430 THIS IS THE MARK I PROTOTYPE OF THE FRAME 360 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,432 THAT WILL BE AROUND THE PORTRAIT 361 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,934 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WHEN WE DELIVER IT TO THE FUHRER. 362 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,937 IT LOOKS VERY AUTHENTIC, GENERAL. 363 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,939 OUR SCIENTISTS ARE AT THIS MOMENT 364 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,942 WORKING ON A FOOLPROOF WAY OF DETONATING THE FRAME. 365 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,445 NATURALLY, THEY KNOW NOTHING OF OUR INTENTIONS. 366 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,447 BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS TEST, 367 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,949 I WILL USE A SIMPLE RADIO BEAM 368 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,952 TO BLOW THE EXPLOSIVES. 369 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,954 ARE YOU SURE IT IS SAFE 370 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,956 TO DO THIS HERE, GENERAL? 371 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,958 WE DO NOT WANT TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE CHATEAU. 372 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,960 OH, RELAX, RELAX. 373 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,461 THE SCIENTISTS ASSURE ME THAT THE EXPLOSION 374 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,463 WILL BE LOCALIZED. 375 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,965 THE DUMMY OF HITLER WILL BE BLOWN TO PIECES, 376 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,468 BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE ROOM WILL BE LEFT UNTOUCHED. 377 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,470 STAND BY. 378 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,974 GOODBYE, ADOLF. 379 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,487 HELLO THERE. 380 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:29,988 MY, 381 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,490 AREN'T YOU A CUTE ONE? 382 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,991 HOW KIND. 383 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,994 I HAVE NO MONEY, BUT, 384 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,496 I AM YOUNG AND GOOD LOOKING. 385 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,997 I, TOO, HAVE NO MONEY, 386 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,000 AND I AM YOUNG AND BETTER LOOKING, 387 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,001 SO BUZZ OFF! 388 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,506 OH, THE NERVE OF SOME PEOPLE. 389 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,008 ANYONE WOULD THINK WE LOOKED CHEAP. 390 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,018 GOOD EVENING, TARTS. 391 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,020 OH, HERR FLICK! 392 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,522 THIS IS A SURPRISE. 393 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,027 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A GOOD TIME 394 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,530 WITH A COUPLE OF DEBONAIR CURB CRAWLERS ABOUT TOWN? 395 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,032 CERTAINLY. WHERE ARE THEY? 396 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,537 I WAS REFERRING TO VON SMALLHAUSEN AND MYSELF. 397 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:20,038 HAVE YOU MONEY? 398 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,540 POTS OF IT. 399 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,044 GET INTO THE CAR. 400 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,545 I WILL GO IN THE BACK OF THE CAR. 401 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,046 SO I'VE HEARD. 402 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,050 NO, YOU CAN HAVE VON SMALLHAUSEN. 403 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,052 HE'S MORE YOUR SIZE. 404 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,556 ( Yvette giggling ) 405 00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,065 ( gears grind ) 406 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,091 THIS IS A STRANGE PLACE TO BRING US TO. 407 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,593 IS IT YOUR SECRET HEADQUARTERS, HERR FLICK? 408 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,094 YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT. 409 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,097 OPEN THE DOOR, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 410 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,109 COME INSIDE, MY DEARS. 411 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,112 WE HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 412 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,614 ( giggling ) 413 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,118 IN OUR LINE OF BUSINESS, 414 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,121 MOST SURPRISES ARE LITTLE. 415 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:48,126 ANY MORE PETER LORRE IMPERSONATIONS, 416 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,128 AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF WORKING 417 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,630 IN THE GESTAPO HAT FACTORY. 418 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,643 TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. 419 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,644 WHAT? HERE? 420 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,145 OF COURSE. 421 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,649 IS THERE NOWHERE MORE PRIVATE, LIKE... A TOOL CABINET? 422 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:12,651 THIS WILL DO. BEGIN THE UNDRESSING. 423 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,654 FIRST YOU MUST PRODUCE THE NECESSARY. 424 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,155 WHAT? 425 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,658 THE MONEY, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 426 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,661 OH, YES, OF COURSE, THE MONEY. 427 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,670 I'VE NEVER DONE IT IN A GARAGE BEFORE. 428 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,673 NO, WE COULD GET VERY DIRTY IN HERE. 429 00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:46,251 Edith: WHAT KEPT YOU SO LONG, RENE? 430 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,253 I HAVE GOT THROUGH 10 CHAPTERS 431 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,256 OF "WAR AND PEACE," WAITING FOR YOU TO COME TO BED. 432 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:54,259 I WAS JUST MAKING MYSELF A LITTLE SNACK. 433 00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,262 GARLIC SAUSAGE AND PICKLED CUCUMBERS. 434 00:19:57,262 --> 00:19:59,764 IT SEEMS SUCH AGES 435 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:02,267 SINCE WE HAD ANY TIME TOGETHER. 436 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:04,769 I AM A PASSIONATE WOMAN, RENE, 437 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,773 I HAVE APPETITES THAT NEED TO BE SATISFIED. 438 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,775 HERE, HAVE A PICKLED CUCUMBER. 439 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,780 SOMETIMES YOU SEEM SO DISTANT. 440 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,282 TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS, RENE, 441 00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:20,285 KISS ME, CUDDLE ME. 442 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:22,787 I WILL JUST FINISH MY GARLIC SAUSAGE. 443 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:29,294 NOW. 444 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,298 WHAT IS THE MATTER, EDITH? 445 00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:34,799 NOTHING. 446 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,802 I SEEM TO HAVE GONE OFF THE BOIL. 447 00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:42,808 OH, AND I HAD JUST GOT UP STEAM. 448 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,310 AH, WELL, PERHAPS ANOTHER NIGHT. 449 00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:53,819 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 450 00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:55,320 QUICKLY, UNTIE MY HANDS. 451 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,822 WE MUST GET BACK TO THE CAFE. 452 00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,825 THEY EVEN STOLE OUR HANDBAGS. 453 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:02,327 WE'VE BEEN PLAYED FOR SUCKERS. 454 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:05,330 WHEN HERR FLICK SAID HE WANTED TO TIE US UP IN OUR UNDERWEAR, 455 00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,832 I DID NOT THINK HE HAD THIS IN MIND. 456 00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:34,359 ( knocking ) 457 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,860 QUIET, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 458 00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:37,863 THE DOOR IS LOCKED, HERR FLICK. 459 00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:39,865 CHECK YOUR HANDBAG. 460 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:42,367 THOSE GIRLS MUST HAVE A KEY SOMEWHERE. 461 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:47,372 HURRY, THESE HEELS ARE KILLING ME. 462 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:49,374 I HAVE THE KEY, HERR FLICK. 463 00:21:49,374 --> 00:21:50,875 AND I HAVE THE TORCH FROM THE CAR. 464 00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,378 LET US GO INSIDE 465 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,380 AND BEGIN OUR SEARCH FOR THE PAINTING. 466 00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:06,391 LOCK THE DOOR, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 467 00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:07,392 YES, HERR FLICK. 468 00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:13,899 - AND PRODUCE YOUR TORCH. - YES, HERR FLICK. 469 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,403 WE WILL LOOK UPSTAIRS FIRST. 470 00:22:21,406 --> 00:22:23,408 IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, 471 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:24,409 FLASH ME. 472 00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,914 WITH YOUR TORCH, DUNDERHEAD. 473 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:40,926 I WILL TAKE THE FRONT. 474 00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:42,427 YOU SEARCH THE BACK. 475 00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:47,932 ( distant bell tolls ) 476 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:06,952 SOMEONE IS COMING. 477 00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:09,454 WE MUST HIDE. QUICK. 478 00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,460 RENE... 479 00:23:17,462 --> 00:23:19,464 NOW WHERE HAS HE GONE-- 480 00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:21,466 OH, NO, 481 00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,468 NOT ANOTHER SPASM. 482 00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:26,471 I MUST SEE IF HE IS ALL RIGHT. 483 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,476 NOW FOR YVETTE. 484 00:23:35,981 --> 00:23:37,983 I AM HERE, MY DARLING. 485 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,590 ( kissing noises ) 486 00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:48,092 - ( slap ) - OW! 487 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:54,099 RENE! YOU FAITHLESS SWINE. 488 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,101 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT BROOM CUPBOARD 489 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,602 WITH THAT TART? 490 00:23:57,602 --> 00:24:00,104 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 491 00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,607 CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS IS-- 492 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:05,109 HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO? 493 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,611 OH, SO IT IS. 494 00:24:06,611 --> 00:24:09,113 OH, I AM SORRY, HERR FLICK. 495 00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:11,116 BUT I DID NOT RECOGNIZE YOU 496 00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,118 IN A SKIRT AND FISHNET STOCKINGS. 497 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,619 WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE. 498 00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,621 SO SHOULD YOU. 499 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:18,623 BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING 500 00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:20,124 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD WITH HIM? 501 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:22,627 REALLY, EDITH, IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS? 502 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:23,628 NO. 503 00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:26,130 WELL IT WAS LIKE THIS, YOU SEE. 504 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,133 YES? 505 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:31,136 WELL, I WAS IN BED, TRYING TO GET OFF TO SLEEP 506 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,637 NEXT TO YOU, MY DARLING, 507 00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:34,138 WHEN I HEARD A NOISE ON THE LANDING. 508 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,141 THINKING THAT IT MIGHT BE BURGLARS, 509 00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,642 I CAME OUT TO APPREHEND THEM, 510 00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:39,143 AND HAPPENED TO FIND HERR FLICK 511 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:42,147 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD DISGUISED AS A TART. 512 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:44,649 YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT EXPLANATION? 513 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:48,653 ANY OTHER EXPLANATION WOULD BE UNTHINKABLE. 514 00:24:48,653 --> 00:24:50,154 SILENCE, PEASANTS. 515 00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:51,656 VON SMALLHAUSEN? 516 00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:54,659 YES, HERR FLICK? 517 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,661 YOU MAY COME OUT NOW. 518 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:59,163 HERR FLICK, MAY I ASK WHAT IS GOING ON? 519 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,165 NO. 520 00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:02,167 MAY I ASK? 521 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,668 SHUT UP, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 522 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:06,671 YOU WILL FIND THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 523 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,173 WITH THE BIG BOOBIES FOR ME OR YOU WILL BE SHOT. 524 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,175 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 525 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:12,177 Both: YES, HERR FLICK. 526 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,679 OTHERWISE, I SHALL BE IN EVERY CUPBOARD YOU OPEN 527 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:16,681 UNTIL I FIND IT MYSELF. 528 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:19,684 COME, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 529 00:25:19,684 --> 00:25:22,687 IT IS LOCKED. 530 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:25,189 WELL, HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET INSIDE? 531 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,192 LOOK! 532 00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:30,195 THE WINDOW TO RENE AND MADAME EDITH'S ROOM IS OPEN. 533 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,196 I WILL CLIMB IN AND COME DOWN 534 00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:32,697 AND OPEN THE DOOR. 535 00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:34,198 GIVE ME A LEG UP. 536 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:45,209 OH, RENE, I THINK I WILL GO AND GET A GLASS OF WATER 537 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,711 BEFORE WE GO BACK TO BED. 538 00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:47,712 YES DO THAT, DEAREST. 539 00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,213 I STILL FEEL VERY SHAKY. 540 00:25:49,214 --> 00:25:52,217 IT WAS A SHOCK TO FIND YOU IN THE CUPBOARD WITH HERR FLICK. 541 00:25:52,217 --> 00:25:55,720 IT CAME AS SOMETHING OF A SURPRISE TO ME AS WELL. 542 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,227 YVETTE! 543 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,729 MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 544 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:06,731 AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A CAR MECHANIC? 545 00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:09,734 OH, RENE, I'VE HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT. 546 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,235 HOLD ME. 547 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:12,237 ARE YOU MAD? 548 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,239 EDITH WILL BE BACK HERE ANY MOMENT. 549 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:16,741 THAT IS HER NOW. QUICK, YOU MUST HIDE. 550 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,743 HERE, GET IN THE WARDROBE. 551 00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:22,747 I'M SORRY I MISSED OUR RENDEZVOUS 552 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:23,748 IN THE BROOM CUPBOARD. 553 00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:25,249 YES, SO AM I. 554 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,751 NO, NO, PLEASE. 555 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:30,755 JUST GET INSIDE, PLEASE. 556 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:32,256 FOR GOD'S SAKE. 557 00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,760 OH MY GOD, LIPSTICK. EDITH WILL KILL ME. 558 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,261 Edith: RENE. 559 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:38,263 OH NO. 560 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,267 RENE, I-- 561 00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:46,270 NOW WHERE HAS HE GONE? 562 00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:48,773 OH, I SEE IT ALL NOW. 563 00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:50,775 HE HAS SNEAKED OUT 564 00:26:50,775 --> 00:26:52,777 FOR AN ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE. 565 00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:55,279 OH, THE VILLAIN. 566 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,283 I WILL CATCH HIM THIS TIME. 567 00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,785 I WILL GET DRESSED, AND FOLLOW HIM. 568 00:27:02,287 --> 00:27:04,289 AH! RENE! 569 00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,291 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE WARDROBE 570 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:07,292 WITH THAT SERVING GIRL, 571 00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,294 WITH LIPSTICK ALL OVER YOUR FACE? 572 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:12,297 AND WHY IS SHE DRESSED AS A CAR MECHANIC? 573 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:15,300 YOU STUPID WOMAN. 574 00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:18,803 THAT IS THE SECOND TIME TONIGHT YOU HAVE DONE THIS. 575 00:27:18,803 --> 00:27:20,805 AND WHAT EXPLANATION HAVE YOU GOT? 576 00:27:20,805 --> 00:27:22,807 I AM NOT MADE OF EXPLANATIONS. 577 00:27:22,807 --> 00:27:25,810 IN A MARRIAGE, THERE MUST BE SOME TRUST. 578 00:27:29,314 --> 00:27:33,318 HE IS RIGHT. I AM OVERREACTING. 579 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:35,320 I MUST BE CALM 580 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,322 AND THINK THINGS OUT. 581 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,324 ( rattling ) 582 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:41,326 I HAVE THOUGHT THINGS OUT. 583 00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:51,335 YOU... 584 00:27:52,337 --> 00:27:53,838 OH, NO! 585 00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:54,839 AAH! 586 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,843 ( theme music playing )