1
00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:05,071
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,092
EH, YOU MAY WONDER
WHAT I AM DOING
3
00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,094
IN A FIELD
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
4
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,096
DRESSED AS
AIR MARSHAL GOERING.
5
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THERE IS,
AS USUAL, A VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION.
6
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EDITH AND I ARE
TO DRESS AS HITLER AND GOERING
7
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ON THE ORDERS
OF GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN TO ACT AS DECOYS
8
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TO HELP HIM
CATCH THE LOCAL COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
9
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UNFORTUNATELY,
HIS PLAN WENT WRONG
10
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:49,616
AND WE ARE NOW
IN THE HANDS OF GENERAL VON KARZIBROT
11
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WHO RUNS
THE NEIGHBORING GARRISON
12
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:55,622
AND WHO IS, IT TURNS OUT,
ONE OF THE, UH--
13
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ONE OF THE REBEL
GENERALS WHO IS PLOTTING TO ASSASSINATE HITLER.
14
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DUE TO THE BAD LIGHT,
HE THINKS THAT WE ARE THE REAL HITLER AND GOERING
15
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AND HAS JUST TAKEN EDITH
OVER THERE TO BE SHOT.
16
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ALL I CAN DO NOW IS PRAY
THAT IF SHE HAS ONE LAST WISH,
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IT IS THAT HER OLD FRIEND
HERMANN GOERING
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DOES NOT HAVE
TO SUFFER THE SAME FATE.
19
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I WILL NOT STAND BY
AND SEE GERMANY
20
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DESTROYED BY YOU
AND YOUR INSANE WAR!
21
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,653
FOR THE GOOD
OF THE FATHERLAND, YOU MUST BE SHOT.
22
00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:30,156
YOU ARE MAKING
A BIG MISTAKE, GENERAL.
23
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MY NAME IS EDITH!
24
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VERY WELL,
I HAVE NO TIME TO ARGUE.
25
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I, GENERAL
VAN KARZIBROT,
26
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HEREBY SENTENCE YOU,
EDITH, TO BE SHOT!
27
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FIRING SQUAD,
TAKE AIM!
28
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( leaves rustling )
29
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HITLER, COME BACK!
30
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FIRE!
31
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THE BRITISH!
RETREAT! RETREAT!
32
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WELL DONE, CHAPS.
CHURCHILL WILL GIVE US ALL MEDALS FOR THIS.
33
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RENE, WHAT IS
HAPPENING?
34
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THEY ARE BRITISH
SOLDIERS, I THINK.
35
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- OH, THANK GOODNESS.
- YEAH.
36
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WE ARE SAVED.
37
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I AM CAPTAIN FROBISHER
OF FIVE COMMANDO AND YOU ARE MY PRISONERS.
38
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WE HAVE WAITED
A LONG TIME FOR THIS MOMENT,
39
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YOU NAZI SWINE.
40
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WHAT IS
HE SAYING, RENE?
41
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,711
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
I DO NOT SPEAK A WORD OF THEIR LANGUAGE.
42
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I'M GOING TO ENJOY
SEEING YOU PUT ON TRIAL
43
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:31,217
AND THEN SHOT,
YOU MONSTERS.
44
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OH, THANK YOU,
HOW NICE.
45
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THEY OBVIOUSLY REALIZE
WE ARE IMPORTANT, RENE.
46
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- THESE UNIFORMS
HAVE SAVED OUR LIVES. - MM...
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I AM NOT SO SURE, EDITH.
48
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,735
I NEVER THOUGHT
WE WOULD PULL IT OFF, SIR-- SNATCHING THESE TWO LIKE THAT.
49
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OUR INTELLIGENCE
WAS SPOT-ON.
50
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,739
A DAMN FINE SHOW,
WENT LIKE CLOCKWORK.
51
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,241
JUST IN TIME TOO--
THEY WERE ABOUT TO SHOOT THE BLIGHTERS.
52
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RUM-LOOKING PAIR,
AREN'T THEY?
53
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HITLER IS EVEN UGLIER
IN THE FLESH THAN HE IS IN THE PROPAGANDA FILMS.
54
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Man: GOERING HAS
GROWN A MUSTACHE, I SEE.
55
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,251
Frobisher:
DOESN'T IMPROVE HIM.
56
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EVEN A BEARD
COULDN'T COVER UP AN UGLY MUG LIKE THAT.
57
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,256
RENE, WHAT ARE
WE GOING TO DO?
58
00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:13,759
WE HAVE GOT TO LET
THEM KNOW WE ARE NOT REALLY HITLER AND GOERING.
59
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,263
HOW? I CANNOT SPEAK
ANY OF THE LANGUAGE.
60
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PERHAPS ONE OF THEM
SPEAKS FRENCH.
61
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I WILL TRY.
62
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EXCUSE ME, WE ARE
NOT REALLY HITLER AND GOERING, YOU KNOW?
63
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,274
WHAT IS HE TALKING
ABOUT, PILKERS?
64
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,275
DO YOU
UNDERSTAND GERMAN?
65
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IT SOUNDED MORE
LIKE FRENCH, SIR.
66
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I SPEAK A FEW WORDS.
( clears throat )
67
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SAY WHAT DID YOU?
68
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RENE, ONE OF THEM
SPEAKS FRENCH.
69
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SORT OF.
70
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I AM JUST A SIMPLE
PEASANT WOMAN.
71
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HITLER SAYS
HE'S A WOMAN, SIR!
72
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THE RUMORS ABOUT
THE OPERATION WERE TRUE.
73
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AND THIS IS
MY HUSBAND.
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GOOD LORD,
HE'S MARRIED TO GOERING!
75
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THEN NO WONDER
THEY'RE LOSING THE WAR.
76
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BETTER UNTIE
THOSE HANDS.
77
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OH, THEY DID NOT SEEM
TO UNDERSTAND, RENE.
78
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I WILL PROVE TO YOU
I AM A WOMAN.
79
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SHE'S GOING TO PROVE
SHE'S A WOMAN!
80
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MEN, LOOK
THE OTHER WAY!
81
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SEE, IT IS
A FALSE MUSTACHE.
82
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NO--
( mumbles )
83
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WE ARE JUST PEASANTS
WHO RUN THE LOCAL CAFE IN THE NEARBY TOWN.
84
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ACTUALLY, SIR,
HE DOES LOOK A BIT LIKE A WOMAN.
85
00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,832
THE OTHER ONE
DOESN'T LOOK THAT MUCH LIKE GOERING.
86
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I THINK THERE'S BEEN
AN ALMIGHTY --, PILKERS.
87
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WE HAVEN'T SNATCHED
HITLER AND GOERING AFTER ALL.
88
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,340
I WONDER WHAT
THEY ARE SAYING NOW.
89
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,342
I'VE PICKED UP
A FEW WORDS OF ENGLISH
90
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,843
WHEN THE BRITISH AIRMEN
WERE WITH US..
91
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,847
I THINK THEY ARE GOING
TO GIVE US A LIFT BACK DOWN THE ROAD.
92
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,349
- OH, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. - RIGHT.
93
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( Edith screams )
94
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SO MUCH FOR
YOUR FEW WORDS OF ENGLISH.
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- ARE YOU HURT?
- NO.
96
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FORTUNATELY, I LANDED
ON TOP OF YOU.
97
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WE'LL HAVE TO WALK
BACK TO NOUVION NOW.
98
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:10,376
DRESSED LIKE THIS?!
ARE YOU MAD?
99
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SOME PEASANT COULD
TAKE A POTSHOT AT US.
100
00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,381
WHAT WE NEED IS
DIFFERENT CLOTHES.
101
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- I HAVE AN IDEA,
RENE. - HMM?
102
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- FOLLOW ME.
- WHAT?
103
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( grunts softly )
104
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THROW THAT
OLD DRUNK OUT.
105
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IT IS I, LECLERC.
106
00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:27,860
SOMETHING TERRIBLE
HAS HAPPENED.
107
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,863
- WHERE ARE RENE
AND MADAME EDITH? - GIVE ME A DRINK.
108
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THEY WERE TAKEN
PRISONER BY THE GENERAL IN THE NEXT DISTRICT
109
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WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE
THE REAL HITLER AND GOERING.
110
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HE'S A REBEL
WHO WANTS HITLER OVERTHROWN.
111
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HE SENT ME AWAY IN THE CAR
WHILE HE TOOK RENE AND MADAME EDITH
112
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INTO A FIELD
TO BE SHOT.
113
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,879
- ( all gasp )
- OH MY GOD,
114
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- THEY ARE PROBABLY
BOTH DEAD BY NOW! - OH-HH.
115
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I'D BETTER
SAY A PRAYER.
116
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OH, LORD, WATCH OVER
MY DAUGHTER EDITH
117
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WHO HAS SO TRAGICALLY
BEEN TAKEN FROM ME.
118
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All: AMEN.
119
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,399
AND IF YOU ARE
STILL LISTENING DOWN THERE,
120
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:09,902
KEEP AN EYE ON THAT
ROTTEN HUSBAND OF HERS.
121
00:06:09,902 --> 00:06:13,906
NOW I WONDER
IF THEY HAVE LEFT A WILL.
122
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MADAME FANNY,
HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK
123
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,911
OF SUCH A THING
AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
124
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ALTHOUGH MADAME EDITH
DID ALWAYS SAY I COULD HAVE THE SILVER CUTLERY
125
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,917
AND A CHOICE
OF HER WARDROBE.
126
00:06:24,917 --> 00:06:26,919
AND THE JEWELRY
WAS PROMISED TO ME.
127
00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,921
YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING.
128
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:33,425
I AM HER SOLE RELATIVE
AND THE CAFE IS MINE IN ANY CASE.
129
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IT IS ALL MINE!
130
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,929
- OURS.
- NO!
131
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:38,931
( groans )
132
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:41,934
YOU GET THE MONEY
OUT OF THE TILL.
133
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:46,438
WE WILL LEAVE
FOR PARIS TONIGHT
134
00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:48,941
- AND HAVE
A FINAL FLING. - YEAH.
135
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,945
THEN THROW
THESE OLD USELESS BODIES
136
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:54,446
INTO THE SEINE!
137
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,948
COULD YOU NOT
JUST THROW YOURS IN?
138
00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,452
APART FROM WHICH,
THE LAST TRAIN TO PARIS HAS ALREADY LEFT.
139
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,955
OH, WHERE IS
YOUR GET-UP-AND-GO?!
140
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,957
IT HAS GOTTEN UP
AND GONE.
141
00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:09,962
WE CAN USE
THE OLD ICE-CREAM VAN FROM ROUND THE BACK.
142
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,463
MMM, THERE'S
NO PETROL IN IT.
143
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:14,467
WELL, WE WILL USE
ALCOHOL.
144
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,969
YOU GIRLS-- YOU GO
DOWN TO THE CELLAR
145
00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:21,473
AND BRING UP FIVE CASES
OF METHYLATED SPIRIT.
146
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,477
THAT'S A LOT OF METH
JUST TO GET YOU TO PARIS.
147
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,980
WHATEVER IS LEFT OVER
WE CAN DRINK.
148
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:34,987
WAS IT NOT A GOOD IDEA
OF MINE TO TAKE THESE CLOTHES OFF THE SCARECROWS, RENE?
149
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,989
IT'S VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
150
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,491
THIS STRAW GETS
EVERYWHERE.
151
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,495
( groaning )
152
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,497
WHAT IS IT, RENE?
153
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:46,999
THERE IS A FIELD MOUSE
DOWN MY TROUSERS.
154
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,501
- ( mouse squeaks )
- ( groaning )
155
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,007
- ( car approaching )
- LOOK, RENE,
156
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:58,510
SOMETHING IS COMING
DOWN THE ROAD.
157
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:02,014
MAYBE WE CAN PERSUADE THEM
TO GIVE US A LIFT BACK INTO TOWN.
158
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:10,523
THAT WAS MY OLD
ICE-CREAM VAN.
159
00:08:10,523 --> 00:08:13,526
WITH MAMA
AND MONSIEUR LECLERC.
160
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:17,029
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
THEY WILL NEVER SELL ANY ICE CREAM
161
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:19,531
GOING AT THAT SPEED.
162
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:23,035
NOW THAT RENE
AND MADAME EDITH ARE GONE,
163
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,037
WE WILL HAVE TO RUN
THE CAFE OURSELVES.
164
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,040
I WILL LOOK
AFTER THE BAR WHILE YOU SERVE THE CUSTOMERS.
165
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,543
( gasps )
WHO ARE YOU TO GIVE ME ORDERS?
166
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:33,546
I WILL LOOK
AFTER THE BAR, NOT YOU.
167
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:36,549
WHY DON'T WE STEP
OUTSIDE AND SETTLE THIS WOMAN TO WOMAN?
168
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:39,051
THAT'S FINE BY ME.
169
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:42,054
- ( doorbell rings )
- SAVED BY THE BELL.
170
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,056
GOOD MOANING.
171
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:50,563
WE HAVE HID
THE BOD NOSE ABOUT RONNIE AND MADAME EDITH.
172
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,565
IT IS A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.
173
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,568
- POUR ME A DRINK.
- I'LL HAVE A DOUBLE BRANDY.
174
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,571
MY DICKY TICKER IS
ALMOST BROKEN.
175
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,573
AH. DEAR MADAME EDITH--
176
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:03,576
SHE WAS A FINE WOMAN,
THE BEST.
177
00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:07,580
NOW I WILL BURY THEM BOTH
AT A VERY REASONABLE RATE.
178
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,085
NOW THEY ARE GONE,
I AM TAKING OVER THIS BAR.
179
00:09:13,085 --> 00:09:15,087
WE WILL RUN IT
FOR THE BENEFIT OF FRANCE,
180
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:17,589
MY BRAVE GIRLS
AND ME.
181
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:20,092
BUT WE WILL START
WITH ME.
182
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:22,094
WHERE IS THE MONEY?
183
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,596
MADAME FANNY AND
MONSIEUR LECLERC TOOK IT. THEY HAVE GONE TO PARIS.
184
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:27,099
- FOR A FINAL FLING.
- OH, NEVER MIND.
185
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,601
WE WILL SOON
FILL IT UP AGAIN.
186
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:31,604
OFFICER CRABTREE,
YOU WILL TAKE OVER THE BAR.
187
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,606
SPLONDID!
188
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,609
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED
TO WICK BEHIND THE BOAR,
189
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:40,112
PILLING PUNTS AND CHITTING
TO THE KISTOMERS.
190
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:42,614
YES, BUT FIRST WE MUST
INCREASE THE TAKINGS.
191
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,116
HOW MUCH IS
A BOTTLE OF WINE?
192
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,617
200 FRANCS.
193
00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:48,120
THEN WE'LL DOUBLE IT
IMMEDIATELY TO 400.
194
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:52,124
BUT NOBODY
WILL PAY 400 FRANCS FOR A BOTTLE OF WINE.
195
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,126
ESPECIALLY THE PLONK
THEY SERVE HERE.
196
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,628
WE WILL SEE
ABOUT THAT.
197
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,130
( clears throat )
198
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:00,632
THIS CAFE IS
NOW BEING RUN BY US.
199
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,136
HANDS UP HERE
ANYONE WHO WANTS A BOTTLE OF WINE AT 400 FRANCS?
200
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,647
THIS NEVER FAILS.
201
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,685
OH, LOOK,
THERE'S A PARCEL, GRUBER.
202
00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:23,188
AH. AND A LETTER
203
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:26,192
MARKED "PRIVATE
AND CONFIDENTIAL". IT'S FOR YOU.
204
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,194
I WONDER
WHO IT'S FROM.
205
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,698
IT IS FROM JUAN GARCIA.
206
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:36,201
OUR DISGUISES
ARE IN THIS BOX.
207
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:40,206
HE'LL MEET US
AT THE CROSSROADS AT 10:00 TOMORROW NIGHT.
208
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,709
SO MUCH FOR PRIVATE
AND CONFIDENTIAL.
209
00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,212
GOOD EVENING, COLONEL.
LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
210
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,216
WE HAVE JUST LEARNED
THAT JUAN GARCIA IS COMING HERE TOMORROW NIGHT.
211
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,218
WE WILL NEED
THE MISSING BOOBY
212
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,220
YOU CUT FROM THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
213
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,721
SO WE CAN SELL IT
IN SPAIN.
214
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,222
THERE IS
AN EASIER WAY.
215
00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:59,725
I'VE JUST HAD DINNER
WITH HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO.
216
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:04,229
HOW COULD YOU, HELGA?
HE'S SUCH A HORRIBLE SLIMY LITTLE WORM.
217
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,732
WE'VE HAD
A LARGE DOGFISH
218
00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:09,735
WITH A VERY
INTERESTING STUFFING.
219
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,738
MY GOD, HELGA, YOU DON'T
MEAN THE DOGFISH
220
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,740
CONTAINING OUR
10 MILLION FRANCS?
221
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,242
THE VERY SAME-- BOUGHT
AT THE FISHMONGER'S.
222
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,245
HERR FLICK IS WILLING
TO DO A SWAP.
223
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,747
HE WILL GIVE US
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS
224
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:24,249
IF WE GIVE HIM THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA.
225
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,753
NEVER!
THE PAINTING IS WORTHY MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
226
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,255
COLONEL, I THINK HELGA
MIGHT HAVE A POINT.
227
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:34,260
WE WOULD BE
MUCH BETTER OFF WITH THE CASH.
228
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,262
MMM...
OH, VERY WELL.
229
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:39,265
HELGA, TELL HERR FLICK
WE WILL SEE HIM TOMORROW NIGHT
230
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:42,768
IN THE CAFE RENE
IN THE BACKROOM AT 9:30.
231
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,771
WE WILL DO THE EXCHANGE
AND THEN WE'LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE CROSSROADS
232
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,773
TO MEET JUAN GARCIA.
233
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,274
AS YOU WISH, COLONEL.
234
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,776
WHERE IS
THE MISSING BOOBY?
235
00:11:50,776 --> 00:11:53,278
I CARRY IT
WITH ME ALWAYS.
236
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,281
I WILL PRODUCE IT
FOR YOU.
237
00:11:56,782 --> 00:12:00,285
HOW DO I KNOW
I CAN TRUST YOU, COLONEL?
238
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:03,789
HELGA, I'M AN OFFICER
OF THE GERMAN ARMY.
239
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,291
THAT IS WHAT I MEAN.
240
00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,795
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.
241
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,297
IT IS CABARET TIME
AT CAFE RENE.
242
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,799
I GIVE YOU
243
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:17,803
THE SINGING
POLICEMAN AND MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE.
244
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,806
OH!
FORGET I SAID THAT.
245
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,810
I WILL NOW TICKLE
THE IVORIES.
246
00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:30,315
( clears throat )
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
247
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,319
WE SHALL SING THIS
ONLY ONCE.
248
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,321
♪ SHINE ON ♪
249
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,824
♪ SHINE ON,
HARVEST MOON ♪
250
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:40,826
♪ UP IN THE SKOO ♪
251
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:44,830
♪ WE AIN'T HAD
NO LOVING ♪
252
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,833
♪ SINCE JANUARY,
FEBRUARY, JUNE ♪
253
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:48,834
♪ AND JULOO ♪
254
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:54,339
♪ SNOW TIME AIN'T
NO TIME TO STAY ♪
255
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,342
♪ OUTSIDE AND SPOON ♪
256
00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,344
♪ SO SHINE ON ♪
257
00:12:58,344 --> 00:13:01,347
♪ SHINE ON,
HARVEST MOON ♪
258
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,849
♪ FOR ME
AND MY GHOUL. ♪
259
00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:10,856
RENE!
MADAME EDITH!
260
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,358
CAN IT BE TRUE?
YOU ARE ALIVE!
261
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:17,363
WELL, AS WE ARE HERE,
IT APPEARS THAT IS SO, YES.
262
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,866
- WHAT A RELIEF.
- WE THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
263
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,869
SHOT BY A FURRING SQUID.
264
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:28,373
WE ESCAPED BY THE SKIN
OF OUR TEETH.
265
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,876
OH, WHO HAS WRITTEN
"UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT" ON THIS MENU?
266
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:33,378
AND WHAT
ARE YOU DOING SINGING IN OUR CAFE?
267
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,381
THAT IS MY ROLE.
268
00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:39,885
YOU WILL DRIVE AWAY
ALL OUR CUSTOMERS SINGING OFF-KEY LIKE THAT.
269
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:42,387
- I'M SURE THEY ARE
USED TO IT. - ( gasps )
270
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,890
APART FROM WHICH,
WE WERE MERELY CONTINUING YOUR BUSINESS.
271
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,392
WE DID NOT THUNK
YOU WERE COMING BICK.
272
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,396
SO THIS IS
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM AWAY FOR A MOMENT.
273
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,898
GET THAT APRON OFF
AND GET OUT OF HERE, THE LOT OF YOU.
274
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,400
WE WERE ONLY
TRAYING TO HELP.
275
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:58,404
DON'T GET
YOUR KNOCKERS IN A TWOSS.
276
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,407
IT IS GONE MIDNIGHT,
YOU WILL LOSE ME MY LICENSE.
277
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,409
MIMI, YVETTE,
GET EVERYBODY OUT OF HERE-- NOW.
278
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,411
QUICK.
279
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,413
OH. OH,
MADAME EDITH,
280
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,916
I WAS GRIEF STRICKEN
WITH THE THOUGHT OF YOUR DEATH.
281
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:13,919
MY DICKY TICKER SOARS
AT THE SIGHT OF YOU.
282
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,420
OH, THANK YOU,
MONSIEUR ALFONSE.
283
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:18,424
- I KNOW HOW MUCH
YOU CARE ABOUT ME. - OH, YES.
284
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:22,428
AND I HAD CHOSEN
A BEAUTIFUL COFFIN FOR YOU AS WELL.
285
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:26,932
OH WELL, I WILL KEEP IT
FOR ANOTHER DAY, HUH?
286
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,935
THIS IS NOT MUCH
FOR AN EVENING'S TAKINGS.
287
00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:32,437
MADAME FANNY
AND MONSIEUR LECLERC TOOK THE REST.
288
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:36,442
THEY HAVE GONE TO PARIS
FOR A BINGE BEFORE THEY JUMP IN THE SEINE.
289
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:39,945
OH MY GOD,
SO THAT IS WHERE MY ICE-CREAM VAN WAS GOING?
290
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,948
IT IS TYPICAL OF MAMA.
SHE NEVER WANTED TO GO OUT QUIETLY.
291
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,951
SHE NEVER
DID ANYTHING QUIETLY.
292
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,453
THOSE TAKINGS SHOULD GO
TO THE RESISTANCE.
293
00:14:48,454 --> 00:14:50,456
WE ARE DESPERATELY
SHIRT OF KISH.
294
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,958
THAT IS NOT MY FAULT.
295
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:54,960
YOU ARE PARTLY TO BLAME
FOR THE DOGFISH BUNGLE
296
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,463
WHICH LOST US THE 10 MILLION
FRANCS FROM THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
297
00:14:58,464 --> 00:14:59,965
THEN WHY NOT ASK THEM
FOR MORE?
298
00:14:59,965 --> 00:15:02,968
WE HAVE
DECIDED TO SHOW THEM WE MEAN BUSINESS.
299
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:05,971
WE HAVE SENT
THE INCRIMINATING PHOTOGRAPH WHICH IMPLICATES THEM
300
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:08,473
IN THE THEFT
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA TO GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
301
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,975
WHO WILL NO DOUBT
HAVE THEM SHOT.
302
00:15:09,975 --> 00:15:12,978
IN THE MEANTIME,
I SHALL TAKE THIS FOR SINGING TONIGHT.
303
00:15:12,978 --> 00:15:14,980
I NEVER GET PAID
FOR SINGING.
304
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,982
WELL, YOU SHOULD
BE PAID FOR NOT SINGING.
305
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,985
- AND I WILL
HAVE SOME TOO. - WHAT?
306
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:22,487
AFTER ALL,
I PLAYED THE PIANO.
307
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:25,491
WHAT ABOUT MOO?
DON'T I GET ANY WOGES?
308
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,993
HERE.
309
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:33,498
IF YOU NUDE A SAGOON
I'M FROO ON MINDAYS AND SOTADAYS.
310
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,003
GET OUT!
311
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:41,006
OH, THERE'S
GRITITUDE FOR YOU.
312
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:48,013
WHAT A NIGHT.
I AM EXHAUSTED!
313
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,015
LET US GO UP
TO BED.
314
00:15:50,015 --> 00:15:52,017
I AM NOT THAT EXHAUSTED.
315
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:55,320
I UNDERSTAND THE WEATHER
IN SPAIN IS--
316
00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:57,823
DID YOU ORDER
A WINDOW CLEANER?
317
00:15:57,823 --> 00:16:01,326
- NO, WHY?
- A LADDER HAS JUST COME INTO VIEW.
318
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:03,329
( groans softly )
319
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:04,830
RENE!
320
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,332
PARDON ME FOR
THIS UNEXPECTED APPEARANCE
321
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,335
ON YOUR BALCONY,
LIEUTENANT.
322
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:12,838
- RENE, WHAT
A LOVELY SURPRISE. - ( chuckles )
323
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,840
BUT I MUST TELL YOU
324
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,843
THAT I AM NOT ALONE
AT THE MOMENT.
325
00:16:17,843 --> 00:16:20,345
NO NO, NO NO NO.
I WANT TO SPEAK WITH BOTH OF YOU
326
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:23,349
- TO GIVE YOU A WARNING.
- WHAT ABOUT?
327
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,851
UH, THE RESISTANCE PEOPLE--
WHO I DO NOT KNOW--
328
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:29,354
HAVE SENT
THE INCRIMINATING PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE LIEUTENANT
329
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,357
- TO GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN. - ( gasps )
330
00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:34,860
- WHAT?!
- MM-HMM. HE WILL GET IT SOMETIME THIS MORNING.
331
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,362
MY GOD, WHAT
ARE WE GOING TO DO?! THE GENERAL WILL COME HERE
332
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,865
AND ARREST US FOR
STEALING THE FALLEN MADONNA FROM HIM.
333
00:16:39,865 --> 00:16:42,868
RENE, YOU WILL
HAVE TO HIDE US IN YOUR CAFE.
334
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,870
OH, NO, COLONEL.
I'M SORRY, THAT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
335
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:47,873
JUST TILL TONIGHT, RENE.
WE HAVE SOME BUSINESS WITH HERR FLICK
336
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,875
IN YOUR BACKROOM
AND THEN WE ARE HEADING FOR SPAIN
337
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:51,877
WITH JUAN GARCIA
AND HIS FLAMENCO TROUPE.
338
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,379
I-I-- I CANNOT DO IT.
THE RESISTANCE WOULD SHOOT ME
339
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,382
IF I GAVE YOU SHELTER.
340
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,884
AND I WILL SHOOT YOU
IF YOU DON'T.
341
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,887
I WILL SEE YOU LATER.
342
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:04,389
BYE.
343
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,892
WE ARE TO MEET
WITH THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER
344
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,894
IN THE BACKROOM
OF THE CAFE RENE
345
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:11,396
AT 9:30 THIS EVENING,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
346
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,900
YES, HERR FLICK.
IT IS PAST MY USUAL BEDTIME,
347
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,403
BUT I HOPE YOU
WILL LET ME STAY UP AT LEAST FOR THIS ONCE.
348
00:17:19,405 --> 00:17:21,907
THERE WE WILL EXCHANGE
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS
349
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,909
WE FOUND
INSIDE THE DOGFISH
350
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:25,911
FOR THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA.
351
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:28,413
IT WILL BE A BARGAIN
AT THAT PRICE, HERR FLICK.
352
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,916
ESPECIALLY AS I DO NOT
INTEND TO HAND OVER
353
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,417
THE WHOLE 10 MILLION.
354
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:34,420
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
355
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,422
I HAVE DEVISED
A CUNNING PLAN.
356
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:39,925
WE WILL SHOW THEM
A SMALL AMOUNT OF REAL MONEY,
357
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,927
BUT MOST OF THE CASH
WILL BE PAPER
358
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:44,429
CUT UP TO LOOK
LIKE 1000-FRANC NOTES.
359
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,932
THAT IS A MASTERLY PLAN,
HERR FLICK!
360
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,433
AREN'T THEY ALWAYS?
361
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,436
NOW,
362
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:53,439
I HAVE HERE ON THE DESK
A NUMBER OF MAGAZINES.
363
00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:55,941
YOU WILL CUT THEM UP
WITH A KNIFE
364
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:58,443
TO THE EXACT SIZE
OF THIS NOTE
365
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,446
I HAVE PASTED
TO THIS BLOCK OF WOOD.
366
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,449
- I WILL DO IT AT ONCE,
HERR FLICK. - STOP!
367
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,951
FIRST, I MUST
GIVE YOU A WARNING.
368
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:08,954
THESE MAGAZINES
ARE OLD COPIES OF THE HITLER YOUTH
369
00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,957
UNADORNED
ARYAN MAIDEN QUARTERLY.
370
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,459
YOU ARE FORBIDDEN
TO LOOK AT THEM.
371
00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,462
I MEAN, HOW WILL I
CUT THEM UP?!
372
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:20,966
YOU WILL WEAR
THIS PAPER BAG ON YOUR HEAD
373
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:22,467
AND DO IT BY TOUCH.
374
00:18:23,969 --> 00:18:25,470
THERE.
375
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,973
YOU MAY BEGIN.
376
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,976
AND NO WIGGLY EDGES.
377
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:32,978
WE ARE NOT
MAKING DOILIES.
378
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,487
HOW LONG DO WE HAVE
TO HIDE, GRUBER?
379
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,990
I'M GETTING CRAMPED
IN HERE.
380
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,992
PATIENCE, COLONEL,
IT'S ONLY A FEW HOURS MORE.
381
00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:50,996
IT'S ALL RIGHT FOR YOU,
YOU'RE IN BED.
382
00:18:50,996 --> 00:18:53,999
IT'S SO IGNOMINIOUS
FOR A MAN OF MY RANK
383
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:57,502
TO BE HIDING
UNDER A CHAMBER POT.
384
00:18:57,503 --> 00:19:00,506
AND WHERE'S THE FOOD
THAT MADAME EDITH PROMISED US?
385
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:04,009
I WILL TRY TO ATTRACT
SOMEONE'S ATTENTION, COLONEL.
386
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:08,514
( whimpers )
EDITH!
387
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,516
EDITH!
388
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:13,018
WILL NO ONE HERE
WHO HEARS THE CRIES
389
00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,521
OF A POOR OLD WOMAN?
( taps on floor )
390
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,524
EDITH! EDITH!
391
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,526
COMING, MAMA.
392
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:22,528
OH, I MEAN,
LIEUTENANT.
393
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,531
I HAVE BOUGHT
YOU BOTH SOME SOUP.
394
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,533
HOW AM I EXPECTED
395
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,035
TO DRINK SOUP
IN THIS CABINET?!
396
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,038
AH. I HAVE
COME PREPARED.
397
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,040
NOW YOU SUCK
THROUGH THIS,
398
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,541
BUT DON'T SUCK
TOO HARD
399
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,044
OR YOU WILL GET
INDIGESTION.
400
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:45,050
MADAME EDITH, GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN IS HERE.
401
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:50,555
HE'S SEARCHING
THE CAFE FOR THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
402
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,058
IN FACT I HEAR HIS FOOTS
ON THE STAIRS NOW.
403
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,560
OH MY GOD!
DO NOT GIVE US AWAY!
404
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,563
OH, YOU ARE SAFE,
LIEUTENANT.
405
00:19:57,563 --> 00:20:00,065
THE GENERAL DOES NOT
KNOW MAMA VERY WELL,
406
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:03,568
AND IF YOU ACT LIKE HER,
HE WILL BE FOOLED BY YOUR DISGUISE.
407
00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:06,572
( hiccupping )
408
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,574
THE SOUP HAS GONE
DOWN THE WRONG WAY.
409
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:12,578
QUICKLY, COLONEL,
GET BACK UNDER THE CHAMBER POT.
410
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,514
GENERAL
VON KLINKERHOFFEN.
411
00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,015
I ASSURE YOU, GENERAL,
412
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,017
THERE IS ONLY MY OLD
MOTHER-IN-LAW UP HERE.
413
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:22,020
I INTEND TO SEARCH EVERY
BUILDING IN THE TOWN UNTIL I FIND THEM.
414
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,022
I HAVE INFORMATION
THEY HAVE STOLEN
415
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:26,024
A VERY VALUABLE PAINTING
FROM MY QUARTERS.
416
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:29,527
- SEARCH UNDER THE BED
AND IN THAT CUPBOARD. - YES, GENERAL.
417
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:33,531
THAT MOTHER-IN-LAW
DOESN'T LOOK VERY OLD TO ME.
418
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:36,034
OH, SHE IS VERY
WELL-PRESERVED FOR HER AGE.
419
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:38,536
SHE HAS REMARKABLE TEETH
AND VERY FEW WRINKLES.
420
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:41,540
IT IS THE SIMPLE COUNTRY
LIFE SHE HAS LED--
421
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,542
PLENTY OF FRUITS
AND VEGETABLES.
422
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,544
WHO DID THAT?
423
00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:49,548
MY MOTHER SUFFERS
TERRIBLY FROM INDIGESTION.
424
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,550
IT GIVES HER HICCUPS.
425
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:56,555
EDITH, WHO IS THE FAT KRAUT
WITH THE PIGGY EYES?
426
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:00,559
- MAMA!
- GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
427
00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:04,563
I SPIT ON HIM
AND ALL THE GERMANS!
428
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,570
SHUT UP,
YOU SILLY OLD BAT!
429
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:15,073
I'M VERY SORRY, GENERAL.
SHE IS GOING A LITTLE BIT GAGA.
430
00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:16,574
- ANYTHING?
- NO, GENERAL.
431
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,578
IF THE COLONEL
OR LIEUTENANT GRUBER COME ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR CAFE,
432
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,580
- INFORM ME AT ONCE!
- OF COURSE, GENERAL.
433
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:25,083
GIVE THE OLD LADY
A GLASS OF WATER.
434
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:28,587
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
LIEUTENANT?
435
00:21:28,587 --> 00:21:32,090
OH, I THINK I'VE
JUST AGED A GREAT NUMBER OF YEARS.
436
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:33,591
AND THE COLONEL?
437
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:38,597
HAS HE GONE?
( hiccups )
438
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:41,099
I'VE GOT THE HICCUPS.
I CAN'T GET RID OF THEM.
439
00:21:41,099 --> 00:21:43,101
A SUDDEN SHOCK
WOULD DO THE TRICK.
440
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:46,104
LOOK OUT, THE GENERAL
IS COMING BACK!
441
00:21:47,606 --> 00:21:49,608
IT HAS DONE THE TRICK.
442
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,610
I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
443
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,620
AH. GOOD EVENING,
HERR FLICK, AND WELCOME.
444
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,622
GOOD EVENING.
WHERE IS RENE?
445
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:07,626
I WILL GET HIM FOR YOU.
HERE, HELP YOURSELF TO A DRINK.
446
00:22:11,129 --> 00:22:13,131
THE FUTURE LOOKS
VERY ROSY FOR YOU
447
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:15,133
IF YOU STAY
WITH US, HELGA,
448
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,635
AFTER TONIGHT, WE WILL
HAVE BOTH THE PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
449
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:20,639
AND MOST OF THE 10
MILLION FRANCS.
450
00:22:20,639 --> 00:22:24,142
BUT YOU'RE GIVING THE 10
MILLION FRANCS TO THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER.
451
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:27,645
THEY ARE MOSTLY
CUT-UP MAGAZINES, NOT REAL MONEY.
452
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,148
HOW DEVIOUS YOU ARE,
HERR FLICK.
453
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:33,151
I'M SO GLAD
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
454
00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:36,654
AH. GOOD EVENING,
HERR FLICK, HELGA.
455
00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:40,158
GOOD EVENING, PEASANT.
WE ARE EXPECTED IN YOUR BACKROOM.
456
00:22:40,158 --> 00:22:43,161
OF COURSE. THE COLONEL
AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER ARE ALREADY THERE
457
00:22:43,161 --> 00:22:45,663
IN DISGUISE, READY
FOR THEIR ESCAPE.
458
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:48,166
JUST WAIT ONE MOMENT.
459
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,170
OH, RENE.
460
00:22:54,172 --> 00:22:57,175
I AM AFRAID THIS IS
GOODBYE FOREVER.
461
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:59,677
THEN LET US SAY
FAREWELL.
462
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:01,680
PERHAPS THE FRENCH WAY.
463
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,181
WHAT?
464
00:23:03,181 --> 00:23:06,684
DON'T THEY--
DON'T THEY HUG AND KISS ON THE CHEEK?
465
00:23:06,685 --> 00:23:08,687
( stammers )
466
00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:12,190
ONLY WHEN PRESENTING MEDALS
OR IN A DIRE EMERGENCY.
467
00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:18,196
AH. UH, ONE MOMENT.
468
00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:21,199
THIS WAY, PLEASE,
HERR FLICK, HELGA.
469
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:27,706
I WILL ENSURE
THAT YOU ARE NOT DISTURBED.
470
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,712
- GOOD EVENING.
- LET'S GET STRAIGHT TO BUSINESS.
471
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:35,213
DID YOU BRING
THE 10 MILLION FRANCS?
472
00:23:35,213 --> 00:23:37,215
IT IS IN THIS
ATTACHE CASE.
473
00:23:37,215 --> 00:23:39,217
HAVE YOU
BROUGHT THE PAINTING OF THE FALLING MADONNA
474
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:41,219
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
BY VAN KLOMP?
475
00:23:41,219 --> 00:23:42,720
I HAVE IT HERE.
476
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,223
THEN LET US COMPLETE
THE TRANSACTION.
477
00:23:45,223 --> 00:23:46,724
WE WANT TO SEE
THE MONEY FIRST.
478
00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:49,227
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
OPEN THE CASE.
479
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:56,234
- SEEMS IN ORDER.
- NOW THE PAINTING.
480
00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:59,237
WE WRAPPED IT
IN NEWSPAPER TO PROTECT IT.
481
00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:02,740
THERE IS
ONE OF THE BOOBIES.
482
00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:06,244
NO TOUCHING,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
483
00:24:06,244 --> 00:24:09,747
I WAS JUST CHECKING
ITS AUTHENTICITY, HERR FLICK.
484
00:24:09,748 --> 00:24:13,251
HELGA, YOU KNOW
MORE ABOUT BOOBIES THAN ANYONE ELSE.
485
00:24:13,251 --> 00:24:14,752
IS THAT
THE REAL THING?
486
00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:19,757
YES, HERR FLICK,
THAT IS DEFINITELY A VAN KLOMP BOOBY.
487
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:22,260
WE WISH TO SEE MORE
OF THE PAINTING.
488
00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:23,761
WE WISH TO SEE MORE
OF THE MONEY.
489
00:24:23,762 --> 00:24:25,263
WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH
OF THE PAINTING.
490
00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:26,764
WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH
OF THE MONEY.
491
00:24:34,272 --> 00:24:37,275
WE WILL LEAVE
BY THE WINDOW, GRUBER.
492
00:24:38,276 --> 00:24:41,279
GOODBYE, HELGA.
493
00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,781
PERHAPS WE SHALL MEET
WHEN THE WAR IS OVER.
494
00:24:43,782 --> 00:24:46,284
GOODBYE, COLONEL,
LIEUTENANT.
495
00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:48,286
GOODBYE, HELGA.
496
00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:56,595
AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
497
00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:58,597
POUR US SOME WINE,
VON SMALLHAUSEN.
498
00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:01,600
WE WILL CELEBRATE
THE DOUBLE-CROSS OF THE CENTURY.
499
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,102
THOSE IDIOTS WERE
COMPLETELY FOOLED
500
00:25:04,102 --> 00:25:06,604
BY MY CUNNING
DECEPTION.
501
00:25:06,605 --> 00:25:09,608
HERR FLICK, YOU ARE
SO IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE
502
00:25:09,608 --> 00:25:12,110
WHEN YOU'RE BEING
UNDERHAND AND DISHONEST.
503
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:15,613
- MAY I KISS YOU?
- LET US LOOK AT THE PAINTING FIRST.
504
00:25:18,116 --> 00:25:21,119
THERE IS NO PAINTING,
JUST A BOOBY!
505
00:25:22,621 --> 00:25:24,122
WE HAVE BEEN
DIDDLED!
506
00:25:24,122 --> 00:25:26,624
QUICK, AFTER THEM!
507
00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:38,136
OH, RENE, I DO NOT KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO DR. LE COMTE.
508
00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:39,637
HE'S VERY LATE.
509
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:42,641
AND WE NEED THOSE
EXTRA RATION BOOKS BEFORE WE CAN ELOPE.
510
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:45,143
WELL, PERHAPS
YOU SHOULD WAIT UNTIL ANOTHER NIGHT.
511
00:25:45,143 --> 00:25:47,145
OH, YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO GET OUT OF IT, ARE YOU?
512
00:25:47,145 --> 00:25:50,648
IF YOU ARE, I WILL
ANNOUNCE NOW THAT YOU'RE THE FATHER OF MY CHILD.
513
00:25:50,649 --> 00:25:52,150
OH, NO NO NO,
WE WILL ELOPE.
514
00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:54,152
I WILL MEET YOU DOWN HERE
AT MIDNIGHT
515
00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:56,154
AND WE WILL GET
THE MILK TRUCK TO PARIS.
516
00:25:57,656 --> 00:25:59,658
OH, THANK GOODNESS,
HERE IS THE DOCTOR NOW.
517
00:25:59,658 --> 00:26:03,161
I AM SORRY I AM LATE.
I HAD AN EMERGENCY TO ATTEND TO.
518
00:26:03,161 --> 00:26:05,163
HAVE YOU BROUGHT
MY EXTRA RATION BOOKS?
519
00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:08,166
OH, I HAVE SOME
GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, MY DEAR.
520
00:26:08,166 --> 00:26:10,668
YOU ARE NOT
WITH CHILD AFTER ALL.
521
00:26:10,669 --> 00:26:13,672
- WHAT?!
- IT'S BEEN A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
522
00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:17,676
THE FROGS WHICH WE USE
FOR THE PREGNANCY TEST GOT MIXED UP.
523
00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:21,679
THEY LEAPT INTO
EACH OTHER'S JARS.
524
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,683
I JUST DISCOVERED
THE ERROR.
525
00:26:24,683 --> 00:26:27,185
IT IS NOT YOU
WHO IS WITH CHILD,
526
00:26:27,185 --> 00:26:29,187
IT IS MADAME LINARD,
THE DRESSMAKER.
527
00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:37,195
I THOUGHT
YOU WOULD BE PLEASED.
528
00:26:37,195 --> 00:26:39,197
IT IS PROBABLY
THE SHOCK, DOCTOR.
529
00:26:39,197 --> 00:26:42,700
WELL, IF SHE IS
SO UPSET, SHE COULD ALWAYS TRY AGAIN.
530
00:26:44,202 --> 00:26:45,703
- PERISH THE THOUGHT.
- ( cries louder )
531
00:26:47,205 --> 00:26:51,209
- OH WELL. GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT, DOCTOR.
532
00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:53,711
- ( sobbing )
- OH, THERE THERE.
533
00:26:53,712 --> 00:26:56,715
IMAGINE THAT--
MADAME LINARD PREGNANT
534
00:26:56,715 --> 00:26:59,217
AND HER HUSBAND
DIED A YEAR AGO.
535
00:26:59,217 --> 00:27:02,220
I WONDER WHO
THE FATHER IS.
536
00:27:02,220 --> 00:27:04,722
DO NOT START
THAT AGAIN, EDITH.
537
00:27:04,723 --> 00:27:06,725
CHEER UP.
IT IS GOOD NEWS.
538
00:27:06,725 --> 00:27:09,728
OH, THIS HAS
BEEN HANGING OVER US FOR FAR TOO LONG.
539
00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:12,230
AND NOW IT IS OVER,
IT IS TIME TO REJOICE.
540
00:27:12,230 --> 00:27:15,733
YES, YOU CAN SAY
THAT AGAIN, EDITH. AHA, YES.
541
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,736
YVETTE HAS
AVOIDED THE SHAME
542
00:27:17,736 --> 00:27:19,237
AND YOU AND I ARE
STILL IN ONE PIECE
543
00:27:19,237 --> 00:27:21,739
AFTER LAST NIGHT.
HA-HA-HA.
544
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:23,742
THE GERMAN COMMANDANT
AND THE LIEUTENANT HAVE GONE
545
00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:25,744
AND SOON
THE WAR WILL BE OVER.
546
00:27:25,744 --> 00:27:28,246
SUDDENLY,
EVERYTHING IS PERFECT.
547
00:27:28,246 --> 00:27:30,748
I WILL SING A SONG
TO CELEBRATE.
548
00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:33,251
( shrieks )
549
00:27:33,251 --> 00:27:36,754
PERHAPS NOT AS PERFECT
AS IT COULD BE.
550
00:27:39,758 --> 00:27:41,760
♪ SHINE ON ♪
551
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,763
♪ SHINE ON,
HARVEST MOON ♪
552
00:27:44,763 --> 00:27:47,265
♪ UP IN THE SKY ♪
553
00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:51,769
♪ I AIN'T HAD
NO LOVING ♪
554
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:54,272
♪ SINCE JANUARY,
FEBRUARY, JUNE ♪
555
00:27:54,272 --> 00:27:57,275
- ♪ OR JULY... ♪
- ( theme music playing )