1 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:05,071 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,602 I HAVE HAD SOME LUCKY ESCAPES IN MY TIME, 3 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,606 BUT NONE QUITE SO DRAMATIC AS THE ONE LAST NIGHT. 4 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:42,609 EDITH AND I WENT TO THE LOCAL CHURCH 5 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,612 TO ACT AS LOOKOUTS WHILE MONSIEUR ALFONSE 6 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,615 CLIMBED ONTO THE CHURCH ROOF TO HAMMER OFF THE LEAD 7 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,617 FOR A BATTERY WE ARE BUILDING TO POWER 8 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:54,120 THE SECRET RESISTANCE RADIO TRANSMITTER. 9 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,123 WHILE WE WERE THERE THE LOCAL PARISH PRIEST ARRIVED 10 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:59,625 AND MISTOOK EDITH FOR YVETTE, 11 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,128 WHOM I WAS PLANNING TO MARRY IN SECRET. 12 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:06,632 IMAGINE MY HORROR WHEN THE PRIEST WANTED TO MARRY ME TO EDITH. 13 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,136 FORTUNATELY THE HAMMER OF MONSIEUR ALFONSE 14 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:12,638 FELL THROUGH THE ROOF AND KNOCKED THE PRIEST OUT 15 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,642 BEFORE I COULD SAY "I DO." 16 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,144 NO MAN HAS EVER WALKED BACK DOWN THE AISLE 17 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,146 WITH A BIGGER SMILE ON HIS FACE. 18 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,650 ( doorbell dings ) 19 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,652 WE ARE NOT OPEN FOR ANOTHER HOUR. 20 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,654 NOT EVEN FOR LOUISE? 21 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,656 - WHAT? - THE WOMAN WHO LOVES YOU. 22 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,157 - ( giggles ) - THE WOMAN WHO WOULD KILL FOR YOU. 23 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:34,660 THE WOMAN WHO HAS WAITED TWO YEARS TO SEE YOU AGAIN? 24 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,663 WELL, I COULD BEND THE RULES. 25 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:38,665 BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 26 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,667 SHOULD YOU NOT BE WITH YOUR COMMUNIST FRIENDS 27 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,169 - BLOWING UP THINGS? - OH, SILENCE. 28 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,171 - HOLD ME. - OH. 29 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,673 ( both moan ) 30 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,176 - OH. - I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY 31 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,678 AND DRAWN STRENGTH FROM THIS LOCK OF HAIR 32 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,681 I TOOK FROM YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. 33 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,185 SO THAT IS WHERE IT ALL WENT. 34 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,688 - NOW I AM BACK. - YES. 35 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,191 - WE CAN AT LAST GET MARRIED. - WHAT? 36 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,693 DO NOT REFUSE ME, RENE, 37 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,696 OR I MIGHT DO SOMETHING DRASTIC. 38 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:12,198 LOUISE, YOU WOULD NOT KILL YOURSELF. 39 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:14,200 NO, I WOULD KILL YOU. 40 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,203 WELL, YES, THAT WOULD BE RATHER DRASTIC. 41 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,705 BUT SHOULD WE NOT WAIT UNTIL THE WAR IS OVER? 42 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,208 THE WAR WILL BE OVER IN A FEW DAYS. 43 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,210 BUT THE ALLIES HAVE NOT EVEN INVADED YET. 44 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,712 BUT WE COMMUNISTS HOLD A TRUMP CARD. 45 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,715 WE HAVE CAPTURED HITLER AND GOERING. 46 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,717 OH MY GOD. 47 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,219 WE KNOW THAT MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE... 48 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:36,722 ( spits ) HAS A RADIO TRANSMITTER. 49 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,224 TELL HER TO BRING IT TO OUR HEADQUARTERS 50 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,226 IN THE OLD BARN NEAR THE ABBEVILLE ROAD. 51 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,229 WE WILL FORCE HITLER TO BROADCAST A SURRENDER 52 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,730 THUS ENDING THE WAR AT A STROKE. 53 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,733 OH, EXCUSE ME. MY BRAIN IS REELING. 54 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:50,737 YOU MEAN YOU HAVE HITLER AND GOERING TIED UP IN A BARN? 55 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,739 THEY ARE LOCKED IN THE TRACTOR SHED AT THE BACK. 56 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,741 - OH. - OH, RENE. 57 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,744 WE WILL BROADCAST THE NEWS OF OUR MARRIAGE TO THE WORLD. 58 00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,747 AFTER A SURRENDER BROADCAST FROM HITLER, 59 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,749 THAT COULD COME AS A BIT OF AN ANTICLIMAX. 60 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,751 RENE! 61 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,255 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BRAZEN HUSSY IN YOUR ARMS?! 62 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,257 YOU STUPID WOMAN! 63 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:14,760 CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I AM ACTING UNDER DURESS? 64 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,264 THIS IS LOUISE OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE, 65 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,766 PROBABLY THE MOST DANGEROUS WOMAN IN THE WHOLE OF FRANCE. 66 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:23,770 OH, I AM SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN TO SPEAK OUT OF TURN. 67 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,772 WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT A BRAZEN HUSSY? 68 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,774 LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE NOW, EDITH. 69 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,276 YOU HAVE MADE HER VERY CROSS. SHE COULD SHOOT US BOTH! 70 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,778 LEAVE US, UNLESS YOU WANT A BULLET IN THE HEAD. 71 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,782 OH, FORGIVE ME. I DID NOT MEAN IT. 72 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,284 JUST PRETEND I NEVER CAME IN. 73 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,287 HERE, PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM AGAIN. 74 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,789 CAREFUL! I HAVE ONE UP THE SPOUT! 75 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291 OH, CONGRATULATIONS. 76 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:50,796 EXCUSE ME WHILE I JUST SLIP AWAY DOWN THE BACK PASSAGE. 77 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,300 I MUST GO NOW, RENE. 78 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,302 I WILL ESCORT YOU OUT. COME. 79 00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,806 ( bell dings ) 80 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,809 MAKE SURE YOU COME TO THE BARN WITH MICHELLE... 81 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:06,813 ( spits ) OR I WILL COME LOOKING FOR YOU. 82 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,815 I WILL BE THERE! I PROMISE! 83 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,492 ( gasps ) OH! 84 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:23,496 OH, RENE! I SAW EVERYTHING THROUGH A CRACK IN THE DOOR! 85 00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:25,998 HOW COULD YOU EMBRACE THAT HORRIBLE GIRL? 86 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:29,002 I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ONLY ME AND OUR CHILD. 87 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,504 I DO LOVE ONLY YOU, YVETTE. 88 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:34,507 PLEASE, SHE FORCED ME TO HOLD HER. 89 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,009 IT WAS HORRIBLE. 90 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:41,514 I COULD FEEL HER LIVE HAND GRENADES PRESSING INTO ME. 91 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,518 RENE! 92 00:04:45,518 --> 00:04:48,521 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SERVANT GIRL IN YOUR ARMS?! 93 00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:52,024 YOU STUPID WOMAN, 94 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:54,527 CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I AM SUFFERING FROM NERVOUS SHOCK 95 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,030 AFTER BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT BY THAT UGLY COMMUNIST RESISTANCE GIRL? 96 00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:01,034 I WOULD HAVE FAINTED IF YVETTE HAD NOT SUPPORTED ME. 97 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,036 OH! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. 98 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:06,039 - YES. - OH, I AM SORRY, RENE. 99 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,541 I DID NOT REALIZE THE STRAIN YOU WERE UNDER. 100 00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:12,044 I MUST GO UPSTAIRS 101 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:15,548 AND LIE DOWN FOR A BIT, DEAREST. 102 00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:18,551 I WILL COME UP AND LIE DOWN FOR A BIT AS WELL. 103 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:23,055 MY SOOTHING WORDS AND GENTLE HANDS 104 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,558 WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR ANXIETIES. 105 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,561 ON SECOND THOUGHT, A BRISK STROLL 106 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,062 AROUND THE SQUARE IS WHAT I NEED. 107 00:05:32,565 --> 00:05:34,567 HOW QUICKLY HE RECOVERS. 108 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:37,570 IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR SOOTHING WORDS, MADAME EDITH. 109 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:41,073 - YES. - YOU'LL HAVE TO GO AND LIE DOWN FOR A BIT ALONE. 110 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,078 SO WHAT IS NEW? 111 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,082 ( phone rings ) 112 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,585 COLONEL VON STROHM'S OFFICE. 113 00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:56,088 AH, HELGA, THIS IS GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN SPEAKING. 114 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,091 UH, YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHERE THE COLONEL 115 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:00,093 AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER ARE TODAY. 116 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:03,096 WELL, YES, THEY'RE NOT USUALLY THIS LATE. 117 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,598 I AM AFRAID THEY WILL NOT BE IN AT ALL TODAY. 118 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,099 NOR ANY OTHER DAY, PROBABLY. 119 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,603 THEY'VE BEEN TAKEN PRISONER BY THE RESISTANCE. 120 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:13,105 THIS IS TERRIBLE NEWS. 121 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,608 MMM, YES. I WAS QUITE UPSET MYSELF. 122 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,612 I WAS WITH THEM AT THE TIME. 123 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:22,114 WE WERE AMBUSHED ON THE MAIN ROAD. 124 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:24,117 I MANAGED TO FIGHT MY WAY OUT. 125 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,120 - HOW BRAVE. - OH, IT WAS NOTHING. 126 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,123 NOW, HELGA, TODAY IS THE DAY THOSE GESTAPO FELLOWS 127 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:33,626 FLICK AND VON SMALLHAUSEN ARE DUE TO GO BEFORE THE FIRING SQUAD. 128 00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,629 WITH THE COLONEL AND GRUBER GONE, 129 00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,131 I WILL REQUIRE YOUR PRESENCE AT THE EXECUTION. 130 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,634 - YES, GENERAL. - AND, HELGA, 131 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:44,136 I HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE COLONEL AND THE LIEUTENANT 132 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,139 IN THE STRICTEST OF CONFIDENCE. 133 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,640 NOT A WORD OF IT MUST GO ANY FURTHER. 134 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,642 OF COURSE, GENERAL. MY LIPS ARE SEALED. 135 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,645 GOOD. HEIL HITLER. 136 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,151 HEIDI... 137 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,153 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT'S HAPPENED 138 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,655 TO THE COLONEL AND LIEUTENANT GRUBER. 139 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,659 THIS IS A FINE MESS WE'VE GOT INTO, GRUBER. 140 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,160 WHAT DO WE DO NOW? 141 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:12,165 ( whispering ) PLEASE, COLONEL, DO NOT USE MY REAL NAME. 142 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,168 THOSE ROUGH COMMUNIST RESISTANCE GIRLS 143 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,669 MAY BE LISTENING AT THE DOOR. 144 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:19,672 THEY MUST NOT KNOW WE ARE IMPOSTERS OR THEY WILL SHOOT US. 145 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,174 THAT IS TRUE, ADOLF. 146 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,677 WE MUST ACT OUR PARTS CONVINCINGLY. 147 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,679 IF WE CAN FOOL THEM LONG ENOUGH, 148 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,681 WE MIGHT FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE. 149 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:31,684 I WILL DO MY BEST TO ACT LIKE THE FUHRER. 150 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:35,688 I WILL BE STRONG. I WILL BE MASTERFUL. 151 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:39,191 DON'T FORGET THE MAD GLINT IN THE EYES. 152 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:44,196 THAT'S THE ONE. 153 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:54,707 HOW DARE YOU KEEP US HERE LIKE THIS?! 154 00:07:54,707 --> 00:07:57,710 IT IS AN OUTRAGE! 155 00:07:57,710 --> 00:08:02,214 THE GERMAN TROOPS WILL BE SEARCHING THE AREA FOR US! 156 00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,217 RELEASE US NOW 157 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,719 AND WE WILL SHOW YOU MERCY! 158 00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:09,722 SILENCE, YOU MAD INTERIOR DECORATOR. 159 00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:17,230 THE FUHRER IS SILENT. 160 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,733 YOU ARE NOW GOING TO HELP US WITH OUR PLAN TO END THE WAR. 161 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,735 WE WILL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT. 162 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:24,236 I'M HEAD OF THE LUFTWAFFE. 163 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,740 I DO NOT COOPERATE WITH ENEMY TERRORISTS. 164 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:33,246 WELL, I COULD BE FLEXIBLE ON THAT POINT. 165 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,747 AS FOR YOU, 166 00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:37,249 YOU WILL DO EVERYTHING WE SAY 167 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,752 OR I WILL TURN YOU OVER TO MY TRUSTY LIEUTENANT HERE 168 00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,755 AND SHE WILL AMUSE HERSELF WITH YOU. 169 00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:46,759 I WOULD ENJOY THAT. 170 00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:49,762 THE FUHRER FEARS NOTHING A WOMAN CAN DO. 171 00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,765 THAT IS NOT ENTIRELY TRUE. 172 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,767 HERE IS OUR PLAN: 173 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,769 WE ARE GOING TO PUT YOU ON THE RADIO; 174 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,771 YOU WILL ANNOUNCE THAT THE WAR IS OVER 175 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,273 AND ORDER ALL YOUR TROOPS TO LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS. 176 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,276 I THINK WE CAN PROBABLY DO THAT. 177 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,278 ANY OBJECTIONS, HERMANN? 178 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:07,280 NONE AT ALL, ADOLF. 179 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,782 I ALWAYS THOUGHT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE STARTED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. 180 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,785 DO YOU PREFER CONDITIONAL OR UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER? 181 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,287 - UNCONDITIONAL OF COURSE. - Gruber: OF COURSE. 182 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:17,790 WHY MAKE WAVES? 183 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,793 WE WILL COME FOR YOU WHEN IT IS TIME TO MAKE THE BROADCAST. 184 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:31,804 WELL, I THINK WE SHOWED THEM WE WEREN'T GOING TO BE PUSHED AROUND. 185 00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:35,307 - DIDN'T WE, ADOLF? - ABSOLUTELY, HERMANN. 186 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,810 ( whispering ) I HAVE JUST AGREED TO END THE WAR, 187 00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,812 WHICH WILL MAKE HITLER VERY CROSS. 188 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:41,814 IF THEY DON'T SHOOT US, HE WILL. 189 00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:44,316 I WONDER IF ANY OF THESE MEDALS CONTAINS A SUICIDE PILL. 190 00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,421 THANK TO YOUR INVALUABLE INFORMATION, RENE, 191 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,924 OFFICER CRABTREE AND I HAVE DEVISED A CUNNING PLAN 192 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:55,928 TO SNATCH HITLER AND GOERING FROM THE HATED COMMUNIST RESISTANCE. 193 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,430 - ( spits ) - MICHELLE, PLEASE. 194 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,933 I HAVE JUST HAD THAT FLOOR CLEANED. 195 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,434 OH, I AM SORRY, RENE. 196 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,438 I JUST CANNOT ABIDE THOSE OBNOXIOUS COMMIES. 197 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,441 ( spits ) 198 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,943 I ALSO DO NOT LICK THE KUMMIES. 199 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,947 I HATE THEM TOO. 200 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,950 ( spits ) 201 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,452 A CURSE ON THEM. 202 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,455 ( spits ) 203 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,457 WILL YOU STOP IT?! IF YOU CARRY ON LIKE THIS, 204 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,460 I WILL HAVE TO ASK MIMI TO BRING YOU A BUCKET EACH. 205 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,962 WE WILL CONTROL OURSELVES, RENE. 206 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,964 NOW LISTEN. WE MUST BE THE ONES 207 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,966 TO BROADCAST HITLER'S SURRENDER ON THE RADIO. 208 00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,468 THEN WE WILL TAKE POWER IN THE NEW FRANCE. 209 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,971 WE WILL RULE. WE WILL CONTROL. 210 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,473 WE WILL WIPE OUT THE BOURGEOIS AND CREATE A NEW FREE FRANCE 211 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,477 IN WHICH PEOPLE LIKE ME MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS. 212 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,979 REMIND ME TO EMIGRATE. 213 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,982 NOW HERE IS THE PLAN. 214 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,489 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, FOR I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 215 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,992 WE WILL GO TO THE BARN AND MEET THE COMMUNISTS. 216 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,494 ( spits ) 217 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,996 SORRY. 218 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,498 WE WILL PRETEND TO DISCUSS 219 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,000 THE RADIO BROADCAST WITH THEM 220 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,002 WHILE OFFICER CRABTREE BLOWS A HOLE IN THE WALL 221 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,504 WITH DYNAMITE TO REACH HITLER AND GOERING. 222 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,508 THE STICKS OF DEENOMOTE ARE IN HERE 223 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,510 DISGEESED AS KINDLES. 224 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,512 THAT IS A LOT OF DYNAMITE. 225 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:23,516 IT IS NOT ALL DEENOMOTE. SOME ARE REAL KINDLES. 226 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,519 WHEN THE DYNAMITE EXPLODES, WE WILL OVERPOWER THE COMMUNISTS 227 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,021 WHILE OTHERS SNATCH HITLER AND GOERING, 228 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:32,524 WHO WILL BE RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS WITH THIS CHLOROFORM. 229 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,026 WE NOOD A VILINTOUR 230 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,528 TO ACCUMPANIE ME TO ADMONISTER THE CLEAROFORM 231 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,531 TO HOTLER AND GEERING. 232 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,033 I WILL VOLUNTEER. 233 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,035 OH NO, MIMI. I WANT YOU INSIDE THE BARN. 234 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:46,038 IF IT COMES TO A FIGHT, WE WILL NEED YOU THERE. 235 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,540 WELL, I AM NOT A YOUNG MAN, 236 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,043 AND MY TICKER IS A LITTLE DICKY, 237 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:55,547 BUT I WILL ACCOMPANY YOU, OFFICER CRABTREE. 238 00:11:55,548 --> 00:12:00,052 - ALWAYS KEEN FOR ACTION. - AH, INDEED I AM, MADAME. 239 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,554 - ( chuckles ) - OOH. 240 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,559 I WILL ASSIGN TWO OF MY BEST GIRLS TO HELP YOU. 241 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,061 OH, GOOD GOOD. 242 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:12,564 AND I WILL ARRANGE WITH THE RESISTANCE 243 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,568 TO CHARGE THEM FOR MY TIME AT THE USUAL RATE. 244 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:19,071 NOW WE MUST GO. WE WILL LEAVE FOR THE BARN THIS AFTERNOON. 245 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,573 - WE WILL MEET YOU THERE AT 3:00. - 3:00. 246 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,579 BY NIGHTFALL, HITLER AND GOERING WILL BE OURS. 247 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,082 AND ONCE AND FOR ALL, WE WILL WIPE OUT THE THREAT OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE. 248 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,584 ( all spit ) 249 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,088 MICHELLE PROMISED THEY WOULD NOT DO THAT ANYMORE. 250 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,090 WELL, SHALL I FETCH THEM BACK? 251 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,591 NO, FETCH A MOP AND BUCKET. 252 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,094 CURSE THOSE COMMUNISTS. 253 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,595 ( all spit ) 254 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,598 WE WILL BROADCAST THE END OF THE WAR 255 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,101 THEN BOND OUR TWO RESISTANCE GROUPS TOGETHER 256 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,103 WITH A MARRIAGE BETWEEN MY LIEUTENANT LOUISE 257 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,604 AND RENE ARTOIS. 258 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,607 YOU WILL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND. 259 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,610 - RENE IS MARRIED TO ME. - WE WILL SETTLE THIS 260 00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:00,112 IN THE TRUE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE WAY. 261 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,114 YOU WILL BOTH FIGHT FOR THIS MAN. 262 00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,617 OH, BUT COMRADE, IT IS QUITE CLEAR THEY ARE NOT EVENLY MATCHED. 263 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,620 IN THAT CASE, THIS OLD MOFF 264 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,122 MAY NOMINATE ANOTHER TO FIGHT ON HER BEHALF. 265 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,124 CHOOSE ME, MADAME EDITH. 266 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,126 I WILL CHEW HER UP AND SPIT HER OUT. 267 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,129 - ( spits ) - I NOMINATE MIMI... 268 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:20,132 - WITH RELUCTANCE. - OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 269 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,634 WE HAVE COME HERE TO DISCUSS A RADIO BROADCAST, 270 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,137 NOT TO FIGHT OVER SOME BALDING BARTENDER. 271 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,639 YOU WILL PAY FOR THOSE WORDS LATER. 272 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,642 LOUISE, LOUISE, CALM YOURSELF. 273 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,644 I DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET HURT EITHER. 274 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,646 WHAT IF YOU LOSE AN EAR OR A NOSE? 275 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,147 YOU ARE RIGHT, RENE. 276 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,649 I WILL NOMINATE SOMEONE ELSE TO FIGHT FOR ME TOO. 277 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,653 WELL, BRING THEM OUT. I WILL EAT THEM UP FOR BREAKFAST. 278 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,656 I NOMINATE DESIREE. 279 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,161 LOOKS AS IF YOU WILL HAVE DINNER AND LUNCH AS WELL. 280 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,168 LET THE FIGHT BEGIN. 281 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,170 - COME ON, MIMI! - ( all yelling ) 282 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,175 THIS COULD BE A LONG FIGHT. 283 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,780 THIS IS THE SPIT, MONSIEUR ALFINSE. 284 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:11,784 HOTLER AND GEERING SHOULD BE ON THE OTHER SEED OF THIS WILL. 285 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,285 GIVE ME THE DEENOMOTE. 286 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,788 TRY TO BE QUICK. I DO NOT LIKE THE LOOK 287 00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,291 OF THOSE TWO BULLS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT FIELD. 288 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,793 THEY ARE STARING AT US. 289 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,800 STAND STILL AND FIGHT, YOU COWARD. 290 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,303 - DO YOU GIVE UP YET? - NEVER. 291 00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:34,306 I WILL WRING YOUR NECK IF EVER I MANAGE TO REACH IT. 292 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,810 ( yells ) 293 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,813 THIS IS TOO EASY, RIGHT? 294 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,815 ( laughing ) 295 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,317 THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS-- 296 00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,826 FIGHT DIRTY. 297 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,328 ( cheering ) 298 00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:58,330 CAN'T YOU HURRY? 299 00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,832 THOSE BULLS ARE LOOKING VERY RESTIVE. 300 00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:03,836 - ( bulls mooing ) - THIS IS NOT DEENOMOTE. 301 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,338 I HAVE BRIGHT THE RULE KINDLES BY MISTOOK. 302 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:08,340 OH! TYPICAL. 303 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:13,845 WITHOUT DYNAMITE, HOW WILL WE BREAK DOWN THE WALL 304 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:16,348 TO REACH HITLER AND GOERING? 305 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,350 I HAVE AN IDOO. 306 00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:23,355 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MONSIEUR? 307 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,857 I AM DROOPING MY TRUESERS. 308 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,861 IT WOULD NOT LOOK GOOD FOR SOMEONE OF MY STANDING 309 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:32,865 TO BE FOUND BEHIND A BARN WITH A MAN WITH HIS TROUSERS DOWN. 310 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,867 LEAK. 311 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:39,872 I AM WEARING RED KNOCKERS UNDER MY TRUESERS. 312 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,876 RED KNOCKERS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO ATTRACT BALLS. 313 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,880 IT IS THE KILLER THAT MAKES THEM MID. 314 00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,383 ARE YOU SURE? 315 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:53,385 NO, BUT IT IS WORTH A TREE. 316 00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,887 I WILL BIND OVER 317 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:59,391 AND THE BALLS WILL BECOME AROOSED 318 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:02,394 AND THEN CHARGE TOWARDS ME. 319 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:05,897 AT THE LOST MINUTE I WILL JIMP ASIDE 320 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,901 AND THE BALLS WILL SMISH THROUGH THE WOODEN WILL. 321 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,406 RATHER YOU THAN ME, MONSIEUR. 322 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,911 STAND BY WITH THE CHLOROFORM. 323 00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,413 OUR CHAMPION HAS DEFEATED YOUR CHAMPION. 324 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,415 WE HAVE DEMONSTRATED OUR SUPERIORITY. 325 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,917 WE NOW DEMAND THAT YOU GIVE US HITLER AND GOERING. 326 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:29,421 WE WILL MAKE THE BROADCAST AND TAKE THE CREDIT FOR ENDING THE WAR. 327 00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,423 NEVER! WE ARE IN CONTROL NOW, 328 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:35,427 NOT YOU AND YOUR PRISSY, SIMPERING LITTLE GIRLS. 329 00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:39,431 - WHAT DID YOU CALL US? - PRISSY, SIMPERING LITTLE GIRLS. 330 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:41,433 RIGHT. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. 331 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,935 ( clamoring ) 332 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,438 EDITH, STOP IT! 333 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,440 I WANT TO BE IN TO THE DEATH! 334 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,942 OH, VERY WELL. 335 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,949 I AM STANDING BY, MONSIEUR. 336 00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,952 I HAVE SOAKED THIS PAD OF COTTON WITH CHLOROFORM 337 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,454 TO KNOCK OUT HITLER AND GOERING. 338 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:05,457 CAN YOU SEE THE TWO BALLS? 339 00:17:05,457 --> 00:17:07,959 RATHER CLEARLY INDEED. 340 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,963 AND ONE OF THEM IS COMING THIS WAY. 341 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,465 OH, HE IS VERY BIG... 342 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,467 EVERYWHERE. 343 00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:16,968 ( bull moos ) 344 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,472 LET ME KNEE WHEN HE STARTS TO CHUGE. 345 00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:23,975 - ( hoofbeats ) - HE IS PAWING THE GROUND, MONSIEUR. 346 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,978 - ( bull snorting ) - AND SNORTING. 347 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,982 HE HAS NOTICED YOUR RED UNDERWEAR. 348 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,485 - ( hoofbeats ) - HIS NOSTRILS ARE STEAMING. 349 00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:36,988 OH MY GOD, HE IS COMING THIS WAY AT FULL SPEED. 350 00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,492 ( screaming ) 351 00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,496 MONSIEUR ALFINSE? 352 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,001 ( bull bellows ) 353 00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:52,504 - ( clamoring ) - WHAT WAS THAT? 354 00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:58,510 - WHAT DO YOU SEE? - JUST A SQUASHED POLICEMAN. 355 00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,012 NOW IS OUR CHANCE TO ESCAPE. 356 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,027 THERE'S A VAN UP THERE ON THE ROAD. 357 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,529 LET'S HIDE IN IT. 358 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:27,539 DO YOU NOT THINK YOU SHOULD HELP? 359 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:30,041 I THINK IT'S MORE A SPECTATOR SPORT. 360 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:36,048 WHAT HIPPINED AFTER I WAS TRIMPLED ON? 361 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,549 I AM NOT SURE, MONSIEUR. 362 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:40,051 I WAS OUT COLD WHEN THE BULL ARRIVED. 363 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,554 WHAT ABOUT HOTLER AND GEERING? 364 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:45,056 WELL, THEY ARE NOT THERE. I HAVE HAD A LOOK. 365 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:47,059 OH, COME ON. I'LL GET YOU BACK TO THE VAN. 366 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:50,062 ANOTHER ALL MOLTY KICK UP. 367 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:58,570 ( blows whistle ) 368 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,072 HITLER AND GOERING, THEY HAVE ESCAPED! 369 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:03,075 - ( gasps ) - CURSE! WE ARE UNDONE! 370 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,576 ANY OFFERS? 371 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:10,482 WHAT BECOOM OF THOSE RESISTANCE GIRLS 372 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,484 WHO WERE SIPISSED TO BE HELPING US? 373 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,988 THEY RAN OFF WHEN THE BULL CHARGED. 374 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,490 I CANNOT BLOOM THEM. 375 00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,492 ONE HAS TO ADMIRE THE NERVE 376 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,994 OF THOSE SPANISH BALLFARTERS. 377 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,502 - THAT'S A SPORT I ENJOY. - ( gears grind ) 378 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,010 YOU ARE TO BE SHOT FOR STEALING MONEY 379 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,511 FROM THE GARRISON PAY TRUCK. 380 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,513 DO YOU STILL DENY THE CHARGE? 381 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,516 YES, AND I DEMAND A FAIR TRIAL. 382 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:48,019 DENIED. YOU ARE ALLOWED 383 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,522 ONE LAST REQUEST BEFORE YOU ARE BLINDFOLDED. 384 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,023 I NEED NO BLINDFOLD. 385 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:56,528 BUT I WOULD LIKE A FINAL KISS FROM PRIVATE HELGA GEERHART. 386 00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:00,031 - PERMISSION GENERAL? - VERY WELL. 387 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,545 BLINDFOLD? 388 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,548 NO, I'M WATCHING FOR THE POSTMAN. 389 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,551 LAST REQUEST? 390 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,554 I WOULD ALSO LIKE A FINAL KISS FROM HELGA. 391 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,557 ACTUALLY, IT WILL BE MY FIRST. 392 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:29,561 - REQUEST DENIED. - BUT YOU CANNOT DENY ME MY LAST REQUEST. 393 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,062 IT IS MY RIGHT. 394 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,565 OH, VERY WELL. GIVE HIM ONE. 395 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,068 I SHOULD LIKE TO BE BLINDFOLDED FIRST. 396 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,086 ENOUGH! 397 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,088 YOU MISSED ME. 398 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,091 HARD CHEESE. 399 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,594 READY! 400 00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:05,597 GENERAL, THERE IS A TELEGRAM FOR YOU FROM BERLIN. 401 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,099 I WILL READ IT LATER. TAKE AIM! 402 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,102 PERHAPS YOU SHOULD LOOK AT IT, GENERAL. 403 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,104 OH, VERY WELL. READ IT TO ME. 404 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,606 ( whispering ) IT IS FROM UNCLE HEINY, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 405 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,107 WE ARE SAVED. 406 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,610 "NEW JACKET READY 14th THIS MONTH. 407 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,112 WILL SEND BY SPECIAL MESSENGER. 408 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,115 SPARE BUTTONS IN POCKET." 409 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,617 IT IS FROM YOUR TAILOR. 410 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:28,119 EXCELLENT NEWS. IT'S A RATHER NATTY HOUNDSTOOTH 411 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,621 WITH PATCH POCKETS. 412 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:32,123 OUR HOPES ARE DASHED. 413 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,126 READY! TAKE AIM! 414 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:37,129 GENERAL, THERE IS AN URGENT TELEGRAM FOR YOU FROM BERLIN. 415 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:40,632 NOT ANOTHER ONE! CAN I NOT SHOOT A COUPLE OF FELLOWS IN PEACE? 416 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,634 FIRING SQUAD, TAKE AIM! 417 00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:45,637 ( yells ) STOP! 418 00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:48,139 I EXPECT THE TROUSERS ARE READY TOO. 419 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,643 WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU PLAYING AT, PRIVATE GEERHART?! 420 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,645 THIS TELEGRAM IS FROM REICHSFUHRER 421 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,146 HEINRICH HIMMLER, HERR GENERAL. 422 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,649 IT IS A PARDON FOR THE TWO PRISONERS. 423 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,651 LET ME SEE. 424 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:08,159 I AM ORDERED TO RELEASE YOU AND YOUR ASSISTANT, HERR FLICK. 425 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,162 BUT YOUR GODFATHER SAYS 426 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,165 "DO NOT DO IT AGAIN, YOU NAUGHTY BOY." 427 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,667 GOOD OLD UNCLE HEINY. 428 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:19,170 YOU ARE VERY LUCKY FELLOWS TO HAVE FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES. 429 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,173 DAMNED NEPOTISM! 430 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,177 ( rain pattering ) 431 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,685 I'VE GOT A TERRIBLE CRAMP. 432 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:36,688 IT'S BEEN HOURS. WHERE ARE WE? 433 00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:39,190 WE ARE IN THE SQUARE, COLONEL. 434 00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,694 IN 15 MINUTES, WE CAN BE BACK IN OUR QUARTERS. 435 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,195 ARE YOU MAD, GRUBER? 436 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:47,199 WE CAN'T WALK AROUND DRESSED AS HITLER AND GOERING. 437 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:49,701 THOSE COMMIES WILL BE LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR US. 438 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:53,204 - THEN WHAT CAN WE DO? - WE WILL GO TO RENE AT THE CAFE. 439 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,207 WE CAN TELEPHONE FROM THERE 440 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,709 AND GET HELGA TO BRING US OUR PROPER UNIFORMS. 441 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,717 WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? 442 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,719 WE WANT MORE OLIVES. 443 00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:09,721 AND THERE IS NO SALT ON THE CRISPS 444 00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:11,222 THERE IS A WAR ON, YOU KNOW. 445 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,724 THAT IS ALL YOU ARE GETTING. 446 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:17,228 OH. IT IS NO FUN COMING DOWN HERE ANYMORE, FANNY. 447 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,732 THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY MUSIC. 448 00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:23,735 WHY IS EDITH NOT SINGING TONIGHT? 449 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,237 SHE IS HAVING A LIE-DOWN UPSTAIRS. 450 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,240 SHE IS NOT FEELING WELL. 451 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,243 OH, WELL THEN WE MUST TAKE HER 452 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,245 SOME OF OUR STOMACH POWDERS. 453 00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:34,746 AH. 454 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,749 AND A DROP OF THAT BRANDY CORDIAL. 455 00:23:37,749 --> 00:23:40,752 THAT WILL MAKE HER FEEL BETTER. 456 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:46,257 DO NOT BRING THE CRISPS INTO THE BED. 457 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,760 THEY GET UP MY NIGHTIE. 458 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:52,063 - RENE... - YES? 459 00:23:52,063 --> 00:23:53,564 I MUST SPEAK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY. 460 00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:55,567 IT WILL HAVE TO BE QUICK, YVETTE. 461 00:23:57,569 --> 00:23:59,571 GOOD FOR THE WIND. 462 00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:04,075 - WHAT IS IT? - THAT LOUISE GIRL FRIGHTENS ME. 463 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:06,077 WHAT IF SHE FORCES YOU TO MARRY HER? 464 00:24:06,077 --> 00:24:08,579 CALM YOURSELF! I AM NOT GOING TO MARRY LOUISE! 465 00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:11,082 I AM MORE CONCERNED ABOUT HITLER AND GOERING. 466 00:24:11,082 --> 00:24:12,583 I WAS VERY WORRIED WHEN HE GAVE ME 467 00:24:12,584 --> 00:24:14,586 THAT LITTLE WAVE WHEN HE TOOK THE SALUTE. 468 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,588 I GOT THE IMPRESSION HE FANCIED YOU. 469 00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,590 SO DID I. IT WAS NOT A GOOD SIGN. 470 00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:20,091 ( knocking ) 471 00:24:20,091 --> 00:24:22,093 SOMEONE IS OUTSIDE. 472 00:24:23,595 --> 00:24:27,098 ( shrieks ) GOD, IT IS HITLER! 473 00:24:27,098 --> 00:24:29,600 I AM DESPERATE, RENE. LET ME IN. 474 00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:31,102 I AM SORRY, ADOLF, GO AWAY. 475 00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:33,104 I AM ALREADY SPOKEN FOR. 476 00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:35,606 MY GOD, HE HAS FOUND ME. 477 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:38,109 HE'S CLIMBING IN THE WINDOW. 478 00:24:38,109 --> 00:24:41,112 - ARE YOU SURE YOU DID NOT WAVE BACK? - OF COURSE NOT. 479 00:24:41,112 --> 00:24:44,115 LET ME IN, RENE. IT IS I, LIEUTENANT GRUBER. 480 00:24:44,115 --> 00:24:45,616 OH, THAT IS A RELIEF. 481 00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:48,119 YOU MUST HELP US, RENE. 482 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,122 YOU TOO, COLONEL? BUT WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS HITLER AND GOERING? 483 00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:54,125 IT IS A LONG STORY. WE MUST USE YOUR TELEPHONE. 484 00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:55,626 - YES. - ( knocking ) 485 00:24:55,627 --> 00:24:57,629 ( gasps ) IT IS THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE! 486 00:24:57,629 --> 00:24:59,631 - ( all scream ) - THEY WILL SHOOT US. 487 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:01,633 PLEASE HIDE US, RENE. 488 00:25:01,633 --> 00:25:03,134 WHAT WILL I DO? 489 00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:05,636 CROUCH DOWN BEHIND THE BAR. HEAD FOR THE BACK STAIRS. 490 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:08,640 YVETTE, GO AND STAND ON THE TOP OF THE BAR AND ADJUST YOUR SUSPENDERS. 491 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,642 THAT WILL DISTRACT EVERYTHING. NOW GO ON. 492 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,144 - ( knocking ) - YES, I AM COMING. 493 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:15,146 I AM COMING. 494 00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,652 LOUISE, MAXINE. 495 00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:24,155 WHAT ARE THESE FOR? 496 00:25:24,155 --> 00:25:26,157 OUR SNIFFER DOGS. 497 00:25:26,157 --> 00:25:28,659 THEY HAVE PICKED UP THE SCENT AT LAST. 498 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:31,162 DO THEY BOTH HAVE HERNIAS? 499 00:25:32,664 --> 00:25:34,165 NO, BUT THEY ARE SMALL. 500 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:36,667 THEY CANNOT WALK FAR SO WE HAVE TO CARRY THEM. 501 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:38,670 THEY HAVE PICKED UP THE SCENT OF HITLER AND GOERING 502 00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:41,172 OUTSIDE IN THE ALLY. HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? 503 00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:43,174 NO NO NO, OF COURSE NOT. NO NO. 504 00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:45,676 THEY MUST HAVE SIMPLY JUST RUN PAST. 505 00:25:45,677 --> 00:25:48,179 THEY WILL NOT GET FAR. COME, LOUISE. 506 00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:51,182 WE WILL HUNT THEM DOWN MERCILESSLY. 507 00:25:51,182 --> 00:25:53,684 AFTER THEM, CAESAR. 508 00:25:55,687 --> 00:25:57,689 IT WILL NOT BE LONG BEFORE WE CATCH THEM, RENE. 509 00:25:57,689 --> 00:25:59,691 WE ARE SEARCHING THE WHOLE VILLAGE. 510 00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:02,193 ANYONE FOUND GIVING THEM SHELTER, 511 00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,695 WE WILL SLIT THEIR THROATS. 512 00:26:04,696 --> 00:26:07,198 I LOVE YOU. 513 00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:14,705 OH, THIS SEX APPEAL. 514 00:26:14,706 --> 00:26:16,708 QUICK, IN HERE. 515 00:26:16,708 --> 00:26:20,211 ( screams ) HITLER AND GOERING! 516 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:21,712 SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL! 517 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,215 NO, MADAME EDITH. 518 00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:27,218 IT IS ONLY LIEUTENANT GRUBER AND THE COLONEL IN DISGUISE. 519 00:26:27,218 --> 00:26:29,720 - ( footsteps on stairs ) - THE COMMUNISTS ARE COMING! 520 00:26:29,721 --> 00:26:31,723 QUICK-- IN THE WARDROBE. 521 00:26:34,225 --> 00:26:36,227 FIND YOUR OWN HIDING PLACE. 522 00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:44,736 DO NOT GIVE US AWAY, I BEG YOU. 523 00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:48,239 MAMA, MONSIEUR LECLERC, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 524 00:26:48,239 --> 00:26:51,242 ERNEST SAYS YOU ARE UNWELL, EDITH. 525 00:26:51,242 --> 00:26:53,244 WE HAVE BEEN TO THE ATTIC TO GET OUR STOMACH POWDERS. 526 00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:55,246 AND HERE IS A BRANDY CORDIAL. 527 00:26:55,246 --> 00:26:58,749 EDITH, AM I IMAGINING IT 528 00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:01,753 OR IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE IN YOUR BED? 529 00:27:01,753 --> 00:27:04,255 MAMA, HOW COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING? 530 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:09,260 AH, IS THIS A MAN? 531 00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:12,263 I DO NOT BLAME YOU, EDITH. 532 00:27:12,263 --> 00:27:15,766 WHO IS THIS SECRET LOVER? 533 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:18,269 ( screams ) IT IS HITLER! 534 00:27:19,270 --> 00:27:23,274 MY DAUGHTER IS HAVING IT OFF WITH HITLER! 535 00:27:23,274 --> 00:27:25,276 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 536 00:27:25,276 --> 00:27:27,278 AND GOERING IS WATCHING FROM THE WARDROBE. 537 00:27:27,278 --> 00:27:30,781 - WHAT SHAME! - KEEP QUIET. 538 00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,284 THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE COULD BE BACK UP HERE AT ANY MOMENT. 539 00:27:34,786 --> 00:27:36,788 MADAME FANNY HAS FAINTED. 540 00:27:36,788 --> 00:27:38,790 I AM SORRY, RENE. IT WAS MY FAULT. 541 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:40,291 I'LL GIVE HER A BRANDY. 542 00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,294 YOU MUST HIDE US UNTIL THE COMMUNISTS GIVE UP THE CHASE. 543 00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:46,297 IF THEY COME UP HERE AND FIND YOU THEY WILL SLIT MY THROAT. 544 00:27:46,297 --> 00:27:49,300 HERE, GIVE ME THAT BRANDY. 545 00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:52,303 ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE IT TO MAMA? 546 00:27:52,303 --> 00:27:54,305 NO, I AM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MYSELF. 547 00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:57,308 I NEED IT MORE THAN HER. 548 00:27:57,308 --> 00:27:59,310 ( theme music playing )