1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,570 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:29,596 IT IS NOW SEPTEMBER THE 13th, 1943. 3 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,599 IT IS NEARLY TWO YEARS SINCE I LAST SPOKE TO YOU. 4 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,602 AND AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE THINNER ON TOP 5 00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,604 AND A LITTLE FATTER DOWN BELOW. 6 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:40,607 BUT I AM A HAPPY MAN BECAUSE I HAVE GOOD NEWS. 7 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:43,610 THE BRITISH AIRMEN ARE FINALLY GONE. 8 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,612 THEY ESCAPED DOWN THE DRAIN TO THE COAST 9 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,615 AND, DISGUISED AS A COUPLE OF SQUIDS, 10 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,116 THEY WERE-- 11 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:53,119 THEY WERE NETTED BY AN ENGLISH TRAWLER. 12 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,624 THE ITALIAN CAPTAIN HAS GONE ALSO 13 00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,626 BECAUSE MUSSOLINI HAS THROWN IN THE TOWEL. 14 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:03,630 AND FOR THE GERMANS, WELL, THE WAR IS NOT GOING WELL. 15 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:07,634 HERE IN NOUVION WE ARE GETTING QUITE COCKY ABOUT IT. 16 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,135 RENE. 17 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,637 RENE, I MUST SPEAK TO YOU. 18 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,641 - NOT NOW, YVETTE. I AM NOT QUITE FINISHED. - OH! 19 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,643 SOON THE BRITISH WILL BE HERE 20 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,645 AND I WILL BE WEARING MANY MEDALS 21 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:21,648 FOR MY HEROIC EXPLOITS AS A HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 22 00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,651 IN FACT, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I CAN TRUTHFULLY SAY 23 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,654 I HAVE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD. 24 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,656 YES, WHAT IS IT? 25 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,157 I AM PREGNANT. 26 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,667 - ARE YOU SURE? - YES. 27 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,169 OH, HOLD ME. TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. 28 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:46,672 WELL, OF COURSE I DO. WHO IS THE FATHER? 29 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,176 WHY, YOU! WHO ELSE? 30 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:54,180 THAT WAS THE NEXT QUESTION I WAS GOING TO ASK. 31 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,182 RENE, IT IS YOUR CHILD. 32 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,683 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 33 00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:00,186 - OH MY GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE. - WHAT? 34 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,188 I MEAN IT'S TERRIBLE WE CANNOT TELL ANYBODY. 35 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,689 I AM A MARRIED MAN. 36 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,693 BUT YOU ARE NOT. AND AS FAR AS THE TOWN KNOWS, 37 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,195 YOU ARE THE TWIN BROTHER OF THE RENE WHO WAS SHOT, 38 00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,197 WHO WAS THE HUSBAND OF MADAME EDITH, 39 00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:14,200 WHICH MAKES YOU YOUR OWN BROTHER-IN-LAW BY MARRIAGE. 40 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,203 WELL, DESPITE THAT COMFORTING EXPLANATION, 41 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:20,206 FOR SOME REASON MY HANDS ARE STILL SHAKING. 42 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,708 OH, RENE, HOLD ME. 43 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:26,212 KISS ME. COMFORT ME. 44 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,714 SHOULD YOU NOT GET A SECOND OPINION? 45 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,717 THIS WAS A SECOND OPINION. 46 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,219 THE FIRST SAID IT WAS TWINS. 47 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,221 OH MY GOD. 48 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,723 LEAVE IT TO ME. 49 00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,727 I WILL TRY TO FIND A WAY TO KEEP EVERYONE HAPPY. 50 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:46,232 RENE! 51 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,734 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOLDING THAT SERVANT GIRL IN YOUR ARMS? 52 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,737 YOU STUPID WOMAN! 53 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,740 CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS POOR GIRL IS PREGNANT? 54 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,243 OH, MY POOR CHILD. 55 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,245 WHO IS THE CULPRIT? 56 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:03,249 IT IS THE LIFE SHE LEADS. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY. IS THAT NOT SO, YVETTE? 57 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,251 ALMOST. 58 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:07,253 TELL ME, AND IF HE WILL NOT MARRY YOU, 59 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,755 I WILL SLIT HIS THROAT. 60 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,258 I HOPE IT WAS AN OFFICER. THINK HARD. 61 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:15,261 - I AM. - OH, THE SHAME. 62 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,763 A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK. 63 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,265 I HAVE AN IDEA. 64 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,268 TO PREVENT THE SHAME FALLING ON THIS POOR INNOCENT GIRL, 65 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:25,271 WHO LIVES THE LIFE SHE DOES ONLY TO KEEP HER POOR OLD MOTHER 66 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,273 IN FIREWOOD AND PARAFFIN, 67 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:30,776 I WILL SACRIFICE MYSELF AND MARRY HER. 68 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,779 YOU WILL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND. 69 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,781 YOU ARE MARRIED TO ME. 70 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,283 I AM OFFICIALLY DEAD. 71 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,786 YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET OUT OF IT THAT EASILY. 72 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:43,790 YOU COULD HAVE IT IN SECRET AND I SHALL SAY IT IS MINE. 73 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291 I AM USED TO SHAME. 74 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,293 I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. 75 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,795 RENE AND I CAN SAY IT IS OURS. 76 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,798 AND WE CAN HIDE YVETTE AWAY IN THE ATTIC 77 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,299 UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN. 78 00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,801 BUT, MADAME EDITH, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CONVINCE PEOPLE 79 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:59,806 THAT A VIRTUOUS WOMAN LIKE YOU IS IN THE CLUB? 80 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,808 I WILL PUT A CUSHION UP MY DRESS 81 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:04,310 AND EXUDE A YOUTHFUL BLOOM. 82 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,812 AND OF COURSE, BIGGER CUSHIONS 83 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,314 AS THE DAYS GO BY. 84 00:04:08,314 --> 00:04:10,816 YOU ARE SO KIND, MADAME EDITH. 85 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:14,821 BUT I COULD NOT LET YOU BEAR THE SHAME OF A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK. 86 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,823 OR EVEN A CUSHION. 87 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,325 AS FAR AS THE VILLAGERS ARE CONCERNED, 88 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:23,329 YOU ARE THE WIFE OF HIS DEAD TWIN BROTHER, A SINGLE WOMAN. 89 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,331 I WILL PUT UP THE CUSHION AND SAY THE CHILD IS MINE. 90 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:28,334 NO, YOU WILL NOT. THEY ARE MY CUSHIONS. 91 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,337 AND IF RENE IS SO KEEN TO PROTECT A WOMAN'S HONOR, 92 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,339 HE CAN MARRY ME OFFICIALLY 93 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,840 AND SAY IT IS OURS. 94 00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:38,344 A LITTLE HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 95 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,346 A THOUGHT TO CONJURE WITH. 96 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:43,349 IF ONLY IT WERE MINE. 97 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:45,351 I CAN SEE IT ALL NOW. 98 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,353 YOU HAVE JUST WOKEN UP, 99 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,855 LITTLE KNOWING WHAT A SPECIAL DAY 100 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,358 IT IS GOING TO BE. 101 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:55,361 - RENE, DARLING, IS IT NEARLY 10:00. - ( mumbles ) 102 00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:02,868 OH, HOW KIND OF YOU TO LET ME SLEEP SO LATE. 103 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,371 WHAT A LUCKY MAN I AM. 104 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:08,874 DEAREST, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 105 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:12,378 OH, TEA AND BISCUITS IN BED. 106 00:05:12,378 --> 00:05:15,881 WHAT MORE COULD I WANT APART FROM A KISS FROM THE LIPS 107 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:17,884 OF THE WOMAN I LOVE? 108 00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:23,389 BRACE YOURSELF 109 00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:26,392 FOR SOME SURPRISING NEWS. 110 00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:29,395 I AM BRACED. WHAT CAN IT BE? 111 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,397 HAVE YOU NOT RECENTLY NOTICED 112 00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:33,899 THAT I HAVE A BLOOM IN MY CHEEKS? 113 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,902 OH, YES, I HAVE. AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 114 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,905 HOW LOVELY SHE LOOKS AND HOW YOUNG. 115 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,907 AND HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED 116 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:44,911 THAT EVERY DAY I HAVE BEEN KNITTING LITTLE WOOLEN GARMENTS? 117 00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:47,914 WELL, ALL KNITTING IS LITTLE TO START WITH. 118 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,415 HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED 119 00:05:49,415 --> 00:05:51,917 I HAVE GOT A LITTLE BIGGER AROUND THE MIDDLE? 120 00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:57,423 SO YOU HAVE. 121 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:59,925 WHAT CAN IT MEAN? 122 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,929 - OH, DO NOT TELL ME THAT-- - YES. 123 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,431 - YOU MEAN-- - YES. 124 00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:07,433 - YOU'RE NOT-- - YES. 125 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:11,437 - A LITTLE? - YES. YES! 126 00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,940 I AM SO HAPPY, I CAN HARDLY SPEAK. 127 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,945 WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A LITTLE HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 128 00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,948 OR PERHAPS A LITTLE HEROINE. 129 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:24,450 I MUST MARRY YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. 130 00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,453 I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THAT. 131 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,455 I HAVE SOMEONE STANDING BY. 132 00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,960 WE ARE READY, YOUR EXCELLENCY. 133 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,962 ( organ playing ) 134 00:06:40,466 --> 00:06:42,468 DO YOU TAKE THIS PREGNANT WOMAN 135 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,970 TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED WIFE? 136 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:46,973 I DO. 137 00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:49,475 - AND DO YOU-- - OH, YES, YES! 138 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:53,479 THEN I PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE. 139 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,483 EXCUSE ME. I HAVE TO RETURN TO THE VATICAN. 140 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:04,490 FANCY THE POPE COMING ALL THIS WAY. 141 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:07,493 A HERO DESERVES NOTHING LESS. 142 00:07:07,493 --> 00:07:10,496 AND SO MUCH FOG AT THE VATICAN. 143 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:17,003 EDITH. EDITH, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION? 144 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:20,006 OH, I'M SORRY, RENE. YES, WHAT IS IT? 145 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,508 WE MUST FIND THE FATHER OF THIS POOR GIRL'S CHILD 146 00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,511 AND MAKE HIM MARRY HER, BUT NOT BE HASTY. 147 00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,513 GIVE HER TIME TO REMEMBER. 148 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,515 AND IN THE MEANTIME, SAY NOTHING. 149 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:33,018 THIS SECRET MUST REMAIN WITHIN THESE FOUR WALLS. 150 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,221 GOOD MOANING. 151 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,723 GOOD MOANING. 152 00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:40,726 I HAVE SOME BOD NOSE FOR YOU. 153 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:43,228 THERE IS A RUMOR GOING AROUND THE TUNE 154 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:46,232 THAT ONE OF YOUR WATTRESSES HAS A BIN IN THE OVEN. 155 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,235 OH NO, THE SHAME! 156 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:51,737 WHOEVER IT IS. 157 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,739 IS IT TREE? 158 00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,241 YOU CAN RELY ON MOO TO BE DISCROOT. 159 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,244 Women: IT IS MINE! 160 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,746 THREE BINS? 161 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:04,750 THERE'S SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN QUITE A LOT OF HONKY-PONKY GOING ON. 162 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,753 NOTHING IS CERTAIN. AND WE WOULD BE OBLIGED 163 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:10,255 IF YOU WOULD KEEP THIS RUMOR TO YOURSELF. 164 00:08:10,256 --> 00:08:13,259 UNTIL WE KNOW WHOSE LITTLE CUSHION IT IS. 165 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,761 A NID IS AS GOOD AS A WONK 166 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,263 TO A BLOND HERSE. 167 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:21,767 MY LIPS ARE SOILED. 168 00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:25,771 EVEN IF THEY WERE NOT, NO ONE WOULD BE ANY THE WISER. 169 00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:27,773 WELL, I MUST BE ABOUT MY BOSINESS. 170 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,276 SHAME SHAME! 171 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:36,282 YOU'VE GOT TO FIND OUT WHOSE CUSHION IT IS SOON. 172 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:39,285 THE RUMOR SEEMS TO BE SPROODING. 173 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,287 - SHAME! - NO! 174 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,289 SHAME! 175 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,790 THEY ARE ALL POINTING AT US. 176 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,292 I AM NOT HAVING THIS SORT OF SHAME. 177 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,295 I AGREE. NOW IT IS ALL OVER THE TOWN. 178 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:51,297 IT IS TOO LATE TO HAVE IT IN SECRET. 179 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:54,300 YOU HAD BETTER FIND OUT WHO THE FATHER IS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. 180 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,802 I AM THINKING HARD. 181 00:08:56,802 --> 00:09:00,305 I AM THINKING EVEN HARDER. 182 00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,810 I WISH YOU'D THOUGHT OF THIS SIX MONTHS AGO, GRUBER. 183 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:08,313 WE'D NO IDEA THE WAR WAS GOING SO BADLY. 184 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,316 IT'S ALL GOEBBELS'S FAULT. 185 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,818 LYING TO US WITH ALL THAT PROPAGANDA. 186 00:09:12,818 --> 00:09:14,319 TRUST ME, COLONEL, 187 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,822 IF WE CAN GET TO SPAIN BEFORE THE BRITISH INVADE, 188 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,825 MY FRIEND AT THE MONASTERY WILL LOOK AFTER US. 189 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:21,827 DO WE HAVE TO LEARN SPANISH? 190 00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,830 I HAVE A SMATTERING OF IT, AND IT COULD BE USEFUL 191 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,333 IF WE COULD SAY A FEW WORDS WHEN WE GET TO THE BORDER. 192 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:30,836 DESERTION'S A RISKY BUSINESS, GRUBER. 193 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:33,338 NOT AS RISKY AS BEING A PRISONER OF WAR 194 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,841 IN A CAMP OF ROUGH FELLOWS. 195 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:39,344 TRUE. WE MUST BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST. 196 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:42,848 NOW THIS IS A VERY BASIC SPANISH LESSON. 197 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:48,854 Man's voice: So you want to speak Spanish. 198 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:52,858 Are you listening with your translation booklets? 199 00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,861 YES, WE HAVE THE BOOKLET. 200 00:09:55,861 --> 00:09:59,364 Lesson one, pay great attention 201 00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:01,367 to the accent. 202 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:03,369 Make your S's sound like T's 203 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:06,372 and keep the tongue behind the teeth. 204 00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:08,374 Here are some useful tips 205 00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:10,876 on finding somewhere to stay. 206 00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:14,379 Repeat after me. 207 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,884 ( high-pitched lisping ) Where is the Hotel Saratoga 208 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,386 in Seville? 209 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:25,391 ( imitating ) WHERE IS THE HOTEL SARATOGA IN-- 210 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,394 IN WHERE? 211 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:32,398 SEVILLE. 212 00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:35,901 Please, can I have a single room 213 00:10:35,901 --> 00:10:39,404 with shower and nice vista 214 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,907 overlooking the sea? 215 00:10:41,907 --> 00:10:42,908 Repeat. 216 00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:46,912 Both: PLEASE, CAN I HAVE A SINGLE ROOM 217 00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:50,415 WITH SHOWER AND NICE VISTA 218 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:52,918 OVERLOOKING THE SEA? 219 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,422 NO! 220 00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:57,923 IT'S TOO DIFFICULT. 221 00:10:57,923 --> 00:11:00,425 IT'S A BARBAROUS LANGUAGE. 222 00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:04,430 IT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE GERMAN. 223 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,932 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S SPANISH. 224 00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:10,435 NO, AFTER A MOMENT OF TOKEN RESISTANCE, 225 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,938 I WILL SURRENDER TO THE BRITISH WHEN THEY ARRIVE. 226 00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:14,940 IF ONLY WE STILL HAD THE PAINTING 227 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,442 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA TO SELL. 228 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:19,945 IF WE HAD, WE COULD EMPLOY A SPANISH PERSON 229 00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,947 TO SPEAK SPANISH FOR US. 230 00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:25,951 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN! 231 00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,461 - HEIL HITLER. - HEIL HITLER. 232 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,463 GRAMOPHONE RECORDS? 233 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,966 I HOPE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WASTING YOUR TIME LISTENING TO POPULAR MUSIC? 234 00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:44,469 NO, GENERAL, WE WERE LOOKING FOR ONE OF THE FUHRER'S SPEECHES. 235 00:11:44,470 --> 00:11:46,472 TO BOOST OUR MORALE. 236 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:48,974 SO YOU HAVE BEEN WASTING YOUR TIME. 237 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:54,479 INCIDENTALLY, I'VE HEARD A RUMOR THAT CERTAIN GENERALS ARE SUSPECTED 238 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,983 OF BEING INVOLVED IN A BOMB PLOT TO BLOW UP OUR BELOVED LEADER. 239 00:11:57,983 --> 00:11:59,484 OUTRAGEOUS! 240 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:03,489 YOU ARE STILL LOYAL DESPITE ALL THE MILITARY BLUNDERS? 241 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,990 TO THE END. 242 00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:06,992 NOT EVEN A TEENY-WEENY BIT FED UP 243 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,494 WITH HIS RANTINGS AND RAVINGS? 244 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,497 HE DOES GO ON A BIT, 245 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,499 BUT THAT'S THE FUHRER. 246 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,502 BE ASSURED, WE ARE LOYAL TO THE END. 247 00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:19,505 THEN I WILL DROP THE SUBJECT. 248 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,006 AND AS FAR AS THE END IS CONCERNED, 249 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:22,507 IT MAY BE NEARER THAN WE THINK. 250 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,511 THE BRITISH AND THEIR YANKEE ALLIES COULD INVADE AT ANY TIME. 251 00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:29,014 WE ARE READY TO RETREAT THE MOMENT YOU GIVE THE ORDER, GENERAL. 252 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:37,022 THERE WILL BE NO RETREAT AND NO SURRENDER. 253 00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:40,025 THIS DOES LESSEN THE OPTIONS. 254 00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:42,527 WE'RE GONNA FIGHT TO THE LAST MAN, AND THE LAST BULLET. 255 00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,530 AND IF THIS POST IS OVERRUN, 256 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:47,032 WE WILL RETREAT TO THE CHATEAU AND WE WILL MAKE A STAND 257 00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,035 WHICH WILL ADD ONE FINAL GLORIOUS CHAPTER 258 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,037 TO MY FAMILY'S MILITARY HISTORY! 259 00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:58,543 IF YOU HAVE ANY USEFUL SUGGESTIONS REGARDING THIS LAST STAND, 260 00:12:58,544 --> 00:13:01,547 LET ME KNOW. I SHALL BE IN MY QUARTERS. 261 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,049 - ( needle scratches record ) - Would you like a girl 262 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:07,052 of easy virtue sent to your room? 263 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:13,558 THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT, GRUBER, BUT I'LL MAKE MY OWN ARRANGEMENTS. 264 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,564 MAMA, I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOME CHICKEN AND LEEK BROTH 265 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,568 AND TWO STRAWS. 266 00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:26,071 OH, HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK. 267 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:29,074 I'M GETTING READY FOR THE INVASION. 268 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,077 THE CONQUERING SOLDIERS EXPECT IT. 269 00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:35,580 BUT LAST TIME YOU SAID THEY RAPED AND PILLAGED. 270 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:39,585 THIS TIME I SHALL BE HAPPY TO SETTLE FOR PILLAGE. 271 00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:51,096 SEE HOW THE YEARS DROP AWAY. 272 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,099 IT IS INCREDIBLE. 273 00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:56,101 ERNEST, SOUP. 274 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:59,104 ( yawns ) 275 00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:01,106 ( screams ) 276 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:05,110 FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM 277 00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:07,612 AND I WAS IN BED WITH LOUIS XVI. 278 00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:11,116 MAMA IS GETTING READY FOR THE INVASION. 279 00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,618 SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO WELCOME THE TROOPS. 280 00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:17,122 IF THEY SEE THAT, THEY MAY TURN AROUND AND GO HOME. 281 00:14:17,122 --> 00:14:21,126 SUCK ON YOUR SOUP AND SHUT UP. 282 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,628 SOON THE SUN WILL SHINE ON FRANCE 283 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,131 AND A NEW WORLD WILL DAWN. 284 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:30,135 CAN YOU NOT FEEL THE WIND OF FREEDOM BLOWING ALREADY? 285 00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,137 I AM EXPECTING IT AT ANY MOMENT. 286 00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:36,141 IT IS TIME TO CALL LONDON. 287 00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,645 ( screaming ) 288 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,147 WHAT INDIGNITY! 289 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:45,150 THE SOUP IS EVERYWHERE. 290 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:48,653 I HAVE A LEEK IN MY PAJAMAS. 291 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,156 WILL YOU REMIND BARON FRANKENSTEIN 292 00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:55,160 AND HIS LATEST CREATION THAT THERE IS A WAR ON? 293 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,662 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 294 00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:59,665 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE: 295 00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:02,167 I AM THE ONE WHO CALLS LONDON AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED 296 00:15:02,167 --> 00:15:04,169 TO EVEN PRESS A BUTTON WITHOUT ME. 297 00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,671 - YOU WERE LATE. - I WAS HAVING A FACIAL. 298 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:09,675 WE MUST ALL LOOK GOOD FOR THE INVASION. 299 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:13,679 BY THE WAY, THERE IS A RUMOR THAT SOMEONE IN THE CAFE IS... 300 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:18,183 OH NO, THE SHAME! 301 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,685 SO IT IS TRUE. AND THE FATHER? 302 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,189 SHE IS TRYING TO REMEMBER. 303 00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:26,191 IS NOTHING SECRET? 304 00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:27,692 WHO TOLD HER? 305 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,695 I MAY HAVE MENTIONED IT IN PASSING, 306 00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,697 BUT NO ONE ELSE KNOWS. 307 00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,365 Man: This is London calling. 308 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,367 We are ready to receive you. 309 00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,870 HELLO, LONDON. THIS IS BLUE TIT. HAVE YOU A MESSAGE FOR US? 310 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,874 Yes, we hear someone is 311 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,375 in the pudding club. 312 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,379 OH, THE SHAME. 313 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:50,382 DO NOT WORRY. IT WILL GO NO FURTHER THAN ENGLAND. 314 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,884 IT IS JUST A RUMOR. OVER. 315 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,387 We hoped it might be you, Blue Tit. 316 00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:58,890 We hoped it might be a child of a heroine. 317 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:02,394 NO, JUST A LOCAL TART. OVER. 318 00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:04,896 HOW DARE YOU! 319 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,900 We are sending a plane for Nighthawk. 320 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,902 HELLO, THIS IS NIGHTHAWK. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO LONDON. 321 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:12,905 I HAVE BEEN THERE ONCE AND THAT IS ENOUGH. OVER. 322 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,907 Do not argue. The plane will arrive tonight. 323 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,910 It will be in the long meadow before the moon is full. 324 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,412 That is all. Over and out. 325 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,914 HELLO, DO NOT OUT UNTIL I AM OVER. 326 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,918 HELLO? WELL, I AM NOT GOING, SO THERE YOU ARE. 327 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:27,920 BUT, RENE, YOU KNOW THE AREA FROM HERE TO THE COAST 328 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,922 LIKE THE BACK OF YOUR HAND. 329 00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,924 IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT. 330 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:34,426 YOU'LL PROBABLY PARACHUTE DOWN WITH THE FIRST WAVE. 331 00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:36,428 IT IS A GREAT HONOR. 332 00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:39,431 OH, RENE, PLEASE STAY. DO NOT LEAVE ME NOW. 333 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:40,932 THERE, YOU SEE? 334 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:44,436 THIS GIRL DOES NOT WANT ME TO LEAVE UNTIL I FIND OUT THE FATHER OF HER CHILD. 335 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:45,937 SHE IS IN MY CARE. 336 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,942 I FEEL RESPONSIBLE-- FOR HER CARE, THAT IS. 337 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:53,445 I KNOW MONSIEUR ALFONSE HAD A BRIEF CAREER IN HIS YOUNGER DAYS 338 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,947 AS A STAGE HYPNOTIST. 339 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,450 MAYBE HE COULD PUT HER UNDER AND GET HER TO REMEMBER. 340 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,952 ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT IS A GREAT HONOR 341 00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,956 TO BE CHOSEN TO LEAD THE INVASION. 342 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,458 I HAVE VERY MANY BIG DECISIONS TO MAKE. 343 00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:09,461 MONEY IS THE KEY. 344 00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:11,463 WE CAN'T GO ON THE RUN WITHOUT MONEY. 345 00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,965 IF ONLY WE HADN'T LOST THE PAINTING. 346 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,969 WHO HAD IT LAST? I FORGET. 347 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:19,471 THE GENERAL-- IT WAS STOLEN FROM HIS CHATEAU. 348 00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:21,473 SINCE THEN, NOTHING. 349 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:22,974 SMELLS OF THE GESTAPO. 350 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,477 IF RENE HAD IT, HE'D HAVE VANISHED BY NOW. 351 00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:27,979 I QUESTIONED HIM THOROUGHLY, 352 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,983 NEVER TAKING MY EYES OFF HIS FOR AN INSTANT. 353 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,484 I'M SURE HE HASN'T GOT IT. 354 00:17:32,484 --> 00:17:35,487 ALTHOUGH I MUST ADMIT, HE HAS GOT SOMETHING. 355 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:37,489 MY BRAIN'S BEEN STAGNATING. 356 00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:41,493 IT NEEDS THIS TYPE OF EMERGENCY TO GET IT GOING. 357 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:43,495 HELGA'S THE KEY. 358 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:46,498 IF FLICK HAS THE PAINTING, SHE WILL FIND OUT. 359 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:47,499 TELL HER TO COME IN. 360 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:53,004 HELGA, A MOMENT IF YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY. 361 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,511 I WAS JUST ORDERING SOME MORE AMMUNITION 362 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:01,012 FOR THE LAST GREAT STAND. 363 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,515 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT FOR BULLETS AND HAND GRENADES? 364 00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:06,518 - OUR DRAWERS ARE FULL. - SO ARE MINE. 365 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:09,020 FORGET THE HEROICS. 366 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:12,024 GRUBER AND I ARE THINKING OF AVOIDING DIRECT CONFLICT. 367 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:13,525 YOU MEAN DOING A RUNNER? 368 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,528 SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. ONLY WE NEED MONEY. 369 00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:18,530 WE NEED THE PAINTING. 370 00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,532 FOR TWO YEARS NOW IT HAS BEEN MISSING. 371 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,034 I SUSPECT HERR FLICK, BUT HE WILL GIVE NOTHING AWAY, 372 00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,537 DESPITE MY FEMININE WILES. 373 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:29,040 IF HE DOES HAVE IT, THIS IS HOW WE WILL FIND OUT. 374 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,044 YOU'LL GO TO SEE HIM, AND WHILE YOU ARE THERE, 375 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:34,546 GRUBER WILL PHONE AND PRETEND TO BE ONE 376 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:37,549 OF HIMMLER'S RUTHLESS GESTAPO MEN. 377 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:40,051 WILL THAT BE A DEEP VOICE? 378 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:42,054 ANY VOICE EXCEPT YOURS. 379 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,056 YOU WILL SAY THAT YOUR MEN ARE IN TOWN 380 00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,558 AND WILL CALL ANY MINUTE TO COLLECT THE PORTRAIT 381 00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,059 FOR THE FUHRER. 382 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,062 IF FLICK HAS IT, HE WILL PANIC 383 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,064 AND HE'LL REVEAL ITS HIDING PLACE. 384 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,566 WISH ME LUCK. 385 00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:56,568 WHAT EXCUSE DO WE GIVE FOR THE VISIT? 386 00:18:56,568 --> 00:18:59,070 I SHALL TELL HIM I HAVE A GIFT. 387 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:02,074 - DO YOU NEED SOME PETTY CASH? - NO. 388 00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:06,077 I AM THE GIFT. 389 00:19:06,078 --> 00:19:09,081 LET'S HOPE IT WORKS. 390 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:12,584 - IF IT DOESN'T, WE'VE ONLY ONE CHOICE LEFT. - AND THAT IS? 391 00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:16,087 ( high pitched ) THE HOTEL SARATOGA AT SEVILLE. 392 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,090 BY GEORGE, YOU'VE GOT IT. 393 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,595 I DO WISH YVETTE WOULD REMEMBER WHO THE SWINE WAS 394 00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:25,597 SO I COULD KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS. 395 00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:28,099 I CAN THINK OF NOTHING ELSE. 396 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,602 HOLD ME, RENE. 397 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:35,607 OH, HOW I WISH IT HAD BEEN ME. 398 00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:39,110 IF IT HAD, RENE, WOULD YOU HAVE OFFERED TO HAVE MARRIED ME? 399 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:42,114 OF COURSE I WOULD. 400 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:45,617 I CAN IMAGINE BREAKING THE NEWS TO YOU GENTLY. 401 00:19:45,617 --> 00:19:48,620 YOU WOULD BE SITTING AT THE TABLE WRITING OUT THE MENU. 402 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:57,629 IN CASE YOU WONDERED WHERE I WAS, I'VE JUST BEEN TO SEE THE DOCTOR. 403 00:19:57,629 --> 00:19:59,631 HAS HE GIVEN YOU SOME CREAM 404 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:02,634 FOR THOSE CHAPPED LITTLE HANDS THAT SCRUB AND CLEAN, DAY AND NIGHT, 405 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,637 FOR A MERE PITTANCE SO YOU CAN BE NEAR THE MAN YOU LOVE? 406 00:20:05,637 --> 00:20:08,139 YES, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, 407 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,642 HE HAS CONFIRMED WHAT I SUSPECTED FOR SOME TIME. 408 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,644 YOU HAVE HOUSEMAID'S KNEE. 409 00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:15,647 I AM IN THE PUDDING CLUB. LOOK. 410 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,152 GOOD HEAVENS. ALMOST A FOUNDING MEMBER. 411 00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:25,657 - AND IT IS YOURS. - WHAT A SHOCK. 412 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:28,660 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 413 00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:32,163 WOULD YOU EXPECT ANYTHING LESS FROM A MAN OF HONOR? 414 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:33,665 BUT WHAT ABOUT EDITH? 415 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,167 AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF WHAT SHE MIGHT DO? 416 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:40,172 AFTER ALL, SHE HAS SET HER HEART ON MARRYING YOU AGAIN. 417 00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,175 SHE WOULD EXPECT ONLY THE BEST FROM ME. 418 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:45,677 - EDITH. - Edith: YES, RENE. 419 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,679 I WILL BREAK IT GENTLY TO HER. 420 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,189 I DID NOT LIKE TO MENTION IT BEFORE, 421 00:20:57,189 --> 00:21:00,692 BUT I HAVE BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MIMI OUR TRUSTED WAITRESS 422 00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:03,194 AND SHE IS SLIGHTLY PREGNANT. 423 00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:07,198 SO I SEE. 424 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,701 OH, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH. 425 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:11,703 YOU WILL MARRY HER, OF COURSE. 426 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,204 YOU DO NOT MIND? 427 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,707 YOU HAVE MY BLESSING. 428 00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:18,209 HOW COULD I DENY A HERO OF THE RESISTANCE 429 00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:20,212 HIS JUST REWARD? 430 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:23,715 AND I PROMISE NOT TO SHOOT MYSELF UNTIL AFTER THE WEDDING 431 00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:26,718 BECAUSE I WOULD NOT LIKE TO SPOIL ANYTHING. 432 00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:28,720 ALWAYS A SPORT. 433 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,228 3:00 THIS AFTERNOON. 434 00:21:36,228 --> 00:21:38,730 - AT THE CHURCH. - AT THE HOSPITAL. 435 00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:45,737 QUICK, I MUST GET TO THE HOSPITAL. 436 00:21:45,737 --> 00:21:47,739 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MIMI? 437 00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:51,242 SORRY, RENE, I WAS DAYDREAMING. 438 00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:53,245 OH, HOLD ME! 439 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,747 FOR UNDER THIS BLOUSE, A LITTLE GIRL'S HEART IS BEATING 440 00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:58,249 AND I WOULD LIKE IT TO BEAT IN TIME WITH YOURS. 441 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,252 IT WILL HAVE TO SPEED UP A BIT. 442 00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:02,254 NOW LOOK, YOU GO TO THE KITCHEN 443 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,256 AND GIVE THAT DOUGH A GOOD KNEAD 444 00:22:04,256 --> 00:22:07,259 SO THAT THE BREAD WILL RISE PROPERLY. 445 00:22:07,259 --> 00:22:09,261 I WILL THINK OF YOU WHILE I DO IT. 446 00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,263 GOOD GIRL. 447 00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:14,266 - RENE, BACK ROOM. QUICK. - WHAT IS IT? 448 00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:18,770 HOLD ME. 449 00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,774 RENE, WHAT A TRICKY PREDICAMENT. 450 00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:25,777 EVERYONE KNOWS, EXCEPT THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU AND I KNOW. 451 00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:27,779 THEY MUST NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU AND I KNOW. 452 00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:30,281 I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO SHOUT IT 453 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,783 FROM THE ROOFTOPS. 454 00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,786 WELL, TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF, YVETTE. THAT ROOF IS DANGEROUS. 455 00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:36,287 DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME OR NOT? 456 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:39,291 OF COURSE. I WILL MARRY YOU AFTER THE INVASION IS OVER. 457 00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,793 YOU PROMISE, AS SOON AS THEY INVADE? 458 00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:44,295 SCOUT'S HONOR. 459 00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,798 IF I STILL HAD MY WOGGLE I WOULD SWEAR ON IT. 460 00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:49,300 RENE, HOLD ME. 461 00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,803 HOLD US. 462 00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:56,808 JUST FOR THE RECORD, 463 00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:59,811 WAS IT THE BEDROOM OR THE BROOM CUPBOARD? 464 00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:02,814 THE BROOM CUPBOARD, 465 00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:04,816 WHEN YOU BANGED YOUR HEAD. 466 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:07,819 OH YES, I REMEMBER. 467 00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:10,822 IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS. 468 00:23:10,822 --> 00:23:12,857 Man: Germany calling, Germany calling. 469 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,860 The glorious German Air Force continues 470 00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:16,862 to shoot down hundreds of enemy planes. 471 00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:19,865 Our defenses are secure and the Fuhrer has decreed from his bunker 472 00:23:19,865 --> 00:23:21,867 that we shall be victorious. The setbacks are minor 473 00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:24,870 and the Third Reich will flourish for 1000 years as promised. 474 00:23:24,870 --> 00:23:26,872 ( explosion ) 475 00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,374 I would tell you more, but there's a minor air raid. 476 00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:42,387 THAT WAS A NEAR ONE. 477 00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:44,889 HELGA IS HERE, HERR FLICK. 478 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,892 QUITE A STRANGER. 479 00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:49,394 I WAS JUST LISTENING TO THE RADIO. 480 00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:51,896 BAD NEWS I SEE. 481 00:23:54,399 --> 00:23:56,401 WE ARE FAILING TO TURN THE TIDE. 482 00:23:56,401 --> 00:23:59,904 AS THIS BEING SO, WE MAY NOT HAVE LONG TO SAY GOODBYE. 483 00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:01,907 SURELY WE'RE NOT FAILING THAT FAST. 484 00:24:01,907 --> 00:24:03,909 NO, BUT VON SMALLHAUSEN AND I 485 00:24:03,909 --> 00:24:05,911 WILL NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR PEOPLE IN TOWN 486 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:09,915 WHEN THE ALLIES INVADE, AND WE INTEND TO MAKE OURSELVES SCARCE. 487 00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,917 WHAT WILL YOU USE FOR MONEY? 488 00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:13,418 SELL SOMETHING? 489 00:24:13,418 --> 00:24:15,420 WE HAVE NOTHING TO SELL. 490 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,923 I HAVE HERE THE GESTAPO FORGERY KIT, 491 00:24:18,924 --> 00:24:21,927 WHICH TURNS OUT NOT UNREASONABLE FACSIMILES 492 00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,428 OF MOST CURRENCIES. 493 00:24:23,428 --> 00:24:26,431 UNFORTUNATELY, WE CANNOT GET THE CORRECT PAPER. 494 00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:29,934 SO WE ARE PRACTICING ON THE ROLLS FROM THE POWDER ROOM. 495 00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:39,944 IT WILL NOT BE EASY PASSING ESCUDOS NOTES 496 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:42,447 STAMPED WITH THE WORD "BOGSAN." 497 00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:47,952 NEVERTHELESS, I'M SURE THEY WILL COME IN HANDY FOR SOMETHING. 498 00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:50,956 ( telephone rings ) 499 00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,459 (deep voice ) OTTO FLICK, 500 00:24:54,459 --> 00:24:57,962 THIS IS GESTAPO HEADQUARTERS, BERLIN. 501 00:24:57,963 --> 00:25:00,966 OUR BEST MEN ARE ABOUT TO CALL ON YOU 502 00:25:00,966 --> 00:25:02,968 TO COLLECT THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 503 00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:04,970 FOR THE FUHRER. 504 00:25:04,970 --> 00:25:06,972 HAND IT OVER OR YOU WILL BE SHOT! 505 00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:11,977 EXCELLENT. IT SENT A SHIVER DOWN MY SPINE. 506 00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:14,980 MINE TOO. 507 00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:18,984 WHAT IS IT, HERR FLICK? YOU HAVE GONE QUITE WHITE. 508 00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:21,987 SOMETHING THAT SENT A SHIVER DOWN MY SPINE. 509 00:25:21,987 --> 00:25:23,989 - HELGA, YOU MUST HELP ME. - OF COURSE. 510 00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:26,491 CONTRARY TO WHAT I RECENTLY SAID, 511 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:28,493 I DO HAVE THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA. 512 00:25:28,493 --> 00:25:31,996 ROUGH GESTAPO MEN WILL BE HERE ANY MOMENT TO COLLECT IT. 513 00:25:31,997 --> 00:25:33,498 MESS UP THE OFFICE. 514 00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:37,001 IT WILL LOOK AS THOUGH THE RESISTANCE HAVE RAIDED US AND STOLEN THE PAINTING. 515 00:25:37,002 --> 00:25:39,504 NOW, HELGA, 516 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:43,007 YOU MUST HANDCUFF VON SMALLHAUSEN AND ME SITTING AT THESE CHAIRS. 517 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:50,515 I WILL HIDE THE KEY IN MY SHOE. 518 00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,521 - WHERE IS THE PAINTING? - IT IS IN A SAFE PLACE. 519 00:25:58,023 --> 00:26:00,525 WOULD IT NOT BE BETTER, HERR FLICK, 520 00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:03,027 IF I TOOK IT FOR SAFEKEEPING? 521 00:26:03,028 --> 00:26:06,031 NO. NOW TAKE MY TRUNCHEON FROM THE DESK 522 00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:08,033 AND GENTLY KNOCK ME OUT. 523 00:26:08,033 --> 00:26:10,535 IT WILL ADD REALISM TO OUR TALE. 524 00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:12,537 CAN I TAKE AN ASPIRIN FIRST? 525 00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:16,041 THERE IS NO TIME. 526 00:26:17,542 --> 00:26:20,044 - I CANNOT DO IT. - HURRY, IT IS AN ORDER. 527 00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:22,047 VERY WELL, HERR FLICK. 528 00:26:23,548 --> 00:26:27,552 - VON SMALLHAUSEN. - HURRY! 529 00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:29,554 HOW CAN I, WHEN I LOVE YOU? 530 00:26:29,554 --> 00:26:31,055 WHAT? 531 00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:34,559 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME? 532 00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:37,061 ENGELBERT. 533 00:26:37,062 --> 00:26:40,065 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU, BERTIE. 534 00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:43,068 HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED HOW I HAVE ENDURED HERR FLICK'S EMBRACES? 535 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:46,071 BUT WHO WAS I STARING AT OVER HIS SHOULDER? 536 00:26:46,071 --> 00:26:49,574 - WHO? - YOU, YOU LITTLE FOOL. 537 00:26:49,574 --> 00:26:51,576 HOW COULD ANY WOMAN RESIST 538 00:26:51,576 --> 00:26:55,079 THOSE BIG LIQUID BROWN EYES? 539 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,082 GRAY, THEY'RE GRAY. 540 00:26:57,082 --> 00:27:00,585 DEEP DOWN YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN. 541 00:27:00,585 --> 00:27:03,087 WELL, DEEP DOWN I DID. BUT IT WAS SO DEEP, 542 00:27:03,088 --> 00:27:05,590 I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A RUMOR. 543 00:27:05,590 --> 00:27:07,592 TELL ME, DARLING, 544 00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:10,094 WHERE'S THE PAINTING? 545 00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:12,597 I'LL HIDE IT FOR US UNTIL AFTER THE WAR. 546 00:27:12,597 --> 00:27:15,099 I'M SITTING ON IT, DARLING. 547 00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:18,603 - SIT UP, ALBERT. - OOH, OOH! 548 00:27:18,603 --> 00:27:20,605 ENGELBERT. 549 00:27:20,605 --> 00:27:23,107 - WHERE'S THE CATCH? - IT'S UNDER THE SEAT 550 00:27:23,108 --> 00:27:26,611 BETWEEN MY LEGS. OOH, OOH, OOH! 551 00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:33,117 I'LL HIDE IT UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN. 552 00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:37,122 ONE KISS BEFORE YOU DO WHAT YOU MUST? 553 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:40,625 I CAN'T. 554 00:27:42,627 --> 00:27:45,630 OH, WHAT THE HELL! 555 00:27:47,632 --> 00:27:50,134 I DO NOT THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. 556 00:27:50,135 --> 00:27:52,137 MAYBE WE SHALL FIND OUT THE TRUTH. 557 00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:54,639 YES, AND WHEN WE KNOW WHO DID THE DOOD, 558 00:27:54,639 --> 00:27:57,141 HE WILL MARRY YOU OR FACE THE QUINCYQUONCES. 559 00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:05,150 I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 560 00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:07,652 I'VE HAD A TERRIBLE SHOCK. 561 00:28:07,652 --> 00:28:10,154 A STIFF CLIMBED OUT OF HIS COFFIN AND WENT HOME. 562 00:28:13,158 --> 00:28:16,161 I WAS SURE HE WAS DEAD. 563 00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:18,163 BUT I WAS SITTING IN THE MORTUARY 564 00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:21,666 WORKING OUT THE BILL, TALKING OUT LOUD 565 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:23,167 AND THE FINAL FIGURE 566 00:28:23,168 --> 00:28:25,670 MUST HAVE JUMPSTARTED HIS HEART. 567 00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:30,175 I NEED A DRINK. 568 00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:32,677 NOW, MONSIEUR ALFONSE, 569 00:28:32,677 --> 00:28:34,679 CAN YOU HYPNOTIZE THIS GIRL? 570 00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,682 SHE HAS INFORMATION LOCKED DEEP IN HER SUBCONSCIOUS. 571 00:28:41,686 --> 00:28:43,187 OH, NO! 572 00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:46,191 WAS THIS THE RESULT OF ONE 573 00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:49,194 OF YOUR FREQUENT TRIPS UP THE STAIRS, MADEMOISELLE? 574 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:50,695 I EXPECT SO. 575 00:28:50,695 --> 00:28:54,198 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE AT NIGHT? 576 00:28:54,199 --> 00:28:58,203 PLEASE GET ON WITH IT. WE HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH AND MANY PREPARATIONS TO MAKE. 577 00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,205 - RENE, DO NOT LEAVE. - HE MUST. 578 00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:02,707 - OH NO, NOT NOW. - PLEASE CONCENTRATE. 579 00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:06,711 NOW YOU ARE GOING INTO A DEEP SLEEP... 580 00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:11,716 DEEPER, DEEPER. 581 00:29:11,716 --> 00:29:14,719 YOU CANNOT RESIST MY CROAKY VOICE. 582 00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:18,723 YOU WILL BE ENTIRELY UNDER MY CONTROL. 583 00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:21,726 NOD IF YOU UNDERSTAND. 584 00:29:27,232 --> 00:29:30,235 WHO IS THE MAN YOU LAST ENTERTAINED-- 585 00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:33,738 HOW CAN I PUT THIS DELICATELY? 586 00:29:33,738 --> 00:29:36,741 ( clears throat ) IN A NAUGHTY WAY? 587 00:29:36,741 --> 00:29:40,244 - THE BUTCHER. - THE BAKER. 588 00:29:40,245 --> 00:29:42,247 THE CANDLESTICK MAKER. 589 00:29:43,748 --> 00:29:46,250 NOT ALL AT ONCE. 590 00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:47,752 DID I SAY SOMETHING? 591 00:29:47,752 --> 00:29:49,754 NOTHING WE DID NOT KNOW. 592 00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:53,257 - IS THE BUTCHER THE FATHER? - NO. 593 00:29:53,258 --> 00:29:54,759 CAN YOU DESCRIBE HIM? 594 00:29:54,759 --> 00:29:56,761 HE WEARS A STRIPED APRON 595 00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,263 AND A STRAW HAT. 596 00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:01,766 NOT THE BUTCHER. 597 00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:04,268 WHO IS THE FATHER OF THE LITTLE ONE? 598 00:30:04,269 --> 00:30:07,772 - IT IS-- - ( sneezes ) 599 00:30:07,772 --> 00:30:10,274 I'M VERY VERY SORRY. IT IS THE DUST. 600 00:30:10,275 --> 00:30:12,777 PLEASE, MADEMOISELLE, THINK QUICKLY 601 00:30:12,777 --> 00:30:16,280 - BEFORE YOU GO TOO DEEP. - OHHH! 602 00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:18,283 SHE HAS FAINTED. 603 00:30:18,283 --> 00:30:20,285 MY POWER IS TOO GREAT. 604 00:30:20,285 --> 00:30:22,787 WE WILL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW. 605 00:30:22,787 --> 00:30:24,288 GOOD IDEA. NOW LET US CLEAR UP THE CAFE. 606 00:30:24,289 --> 00:30:26,291 THERE ARE CUSTOMERS COMING. COME ON. 607 00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:29,294 WE WILL TAKE HER TO THE KITCHEN AND PUT HER HEAD UNDER THE TAP. 608 00:30:39,804 --> 00:30:42,807 WHAT ABOUT HIM? 609 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,809 SUCH GREAT POWER. 610 00:30:44,809 --> 00:30:46,811 MONSIEUR, WAKE UP. 611 00:30:46,811 --> 00:30:50,314 I HAVE BEEN IN A DEEP TRENCE, 612 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:53,818 DURING WHICH I HAD A DEEP THUNK. 613 00:30:54,819 --> 00:30:57,321 REALLY? WHAT DID YOU THUNK? 614 00:30:57,322 --> 00:30:59,824 NOTHING. 615 00:30:59,824 --> 00:31:02,326 MY MIND WAS A BLINK. 616 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:04,829 BE AT THE LONG MEADOW WHEN THE MOON IS FULL. 617 00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:06,831 WE NEED ALL THE LANDING LIGHTS WE CAN GET. 618 00:31:06,831 --> 00:31:09,333 SO BRING YOUR POLICEMAN'S BICYCLE. 619 00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:11,336 WHAT BERCYCLE? 620 00:31:11,336 --> 00:31:14,339 AND WHY AM I DRESSED AS A POLUCEMAN? 621 00:31:14,339 --> 00:31:18,343 AND WHY AM I SPOOKING FLUENT FRANCH? 622 00:31:18,343 --> 00:31:20,845 I WILL EXPLAIN IT ALL LATER. 623 00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:22,346 PERHAPS I'LL FEEL BITTER 624 00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:24,849 IF I LIE DOWN FOR A BOT. 625 00:31:24,849 --> 00:31:26,884 WELL, HELGA, DID OUR PLAN WORK? 626 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:30,388 PERFECTLY, COLONEL. I STOLE IT FROM HIS SECRET HIDING PLACE. 627 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,390 BETTER THAN WE EXPECTED. 628 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:34,392 HAND IT OVER. 629 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,403 WHAT'S THIS? THERE'S A BOOBY MISSING. 630 00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:47,905 - I HAVE IT SAFELY HIDDEN. - WHAT? 631 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:51,409 I'M NOT SURE YOU WILL CUT ME IN ON THE PROCEEDS OF THE SALE. 632 00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,911 SO I AM KEEPING THE BOOBY AS SECURITY. 633 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,414 WHEN YOU FIND A BUYER, I WILL REUNITE THE BOOBY 634 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:57,915 WITH THE REST OF THE PAINTING. 635 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:01,419 HELGA, SURELY YOU TRUST US. 636 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:03,921 NOT ON YOUR NELLIE. 637 00:32:06,424 --> 00:32:08,426 HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY HAVE KNOWN UNLESS YOU-- 638 00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:10,428 I WAS OUT COLD. 639 00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:11,929 I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU. 640 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,432 AND TO FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, 641 00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:17,435 I PROPOSE TO USE THIS. 642 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,437 WHAT IS THAT, HERR FLICK? 643 00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,439 A NEW TRUTH SERUM EXTRACTED 644 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:23,441 FROM THE FEMALE PATAGONIAN FIREFLY 645 00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,943 AT THE HEIGHT OF THE MATING SEASON. 646 00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,946 ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVE. 647 00:32:30,448 --> 00:32:32,950 IT IS EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE 648 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:35,453 AND HAS ONLY SLIGHT SIDE EFFECTS. 649 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:36,954 NOW THE SECRET 650 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,958 OF A SUCCESSFUL INJECTION IS SURPRISE. 651 00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:42,961 HOLD OUT YOUR ARM. 652 00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:45,964 ( screams ) 653 00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:47,465 THAT WAS A SURPRISE. 654 00:32:47,465 --> 00:32:49,967 NOW TELL ME THE TRUTH. 655 00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:52,971 SUDDENLY, I CAN HOLD NOTHING BACK. 656 00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:56,474 HELGA REVEALED THAT SHE LOVED ME. SHE ALWAYS HAS. 657 00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:59,977 SHE TOOK THE PAINTING AFTER I TOLD HER WHERE IT WAS. 658 00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:04,482 AFTER THE WAR, WE ARE TO BE TOGETHER FOR ALWAYS. 659 00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:06,984 DUNDERHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN DUPED. 660 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,987 THAT PHONE CALL WAS A HOAX. 661 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,489 SHE WANTED ONLY THE PAINTING. 662 00:33:11,489 --> 00:33:13,991 DAMN, NOW I WILL HAVE TO BE NICE TO HER 663 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:15,994 TO GET IT BACK. 664 00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:19,497 - I THOUGHT SHE LOVED ME. - WHAT RUBBISH. 665 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:21,999 I FEEL GIDDY. 666 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,502 I MUST LIE DOWN. 667 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,006 IS THAT THE SIDE EFFECT? 668 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:31,009 THAT IS ONE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE SERUM EXTRACTED 669 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,512 FROM THE PATAGONIAN FIREFLY AT THE HEIGHT OF THE MATING SEASON, 670 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:36,013 BUT NOT THE MAIN ONE. 671 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:38,016 WHEN IS THAT DUE? 672 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,018 ABOUT NOW. 673 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:50,528 RENE, DO YOU HAVE TO GO TO ENGLAND? 674 00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:53,030 I MUST. IT IS MY DUTY FOR FRANCE. 675 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:56,034 NOW TRY TO HOLD ON AND MAKE SURE THAT MONSIEUR ALFONSE 676 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,036 DOES NOT HYPNOTIZE YOU AGAIN. 677 00:33:58,036 --> 00:34:00,538 I HAD A TIN TACK PRESSED IN MY HAND. 678 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:03,040 I WAS IN CONTROL. 679 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,543 I WILL NEVER REVEAL THAT YOU ARE THE FATHER 680 00:34:05,543 --> 00:34:07,545 UNTIL YOU ARE SAFELY ON YOUR WAY TO ENGLAND. 681 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:10,047 AND THEN I SHALL PROUDLY ANNOUNCE IT 682 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:12,550 AND OUR INTENDED MARRIAGE. 683 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:15,553 WELL, IF YOU ARE GOING TO JUMP THE GUN, 684 00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:18,055 WHEN I AM IN THE AIR WILL BE THE BEST TIME. 685 00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:21,559 OTHERWISE, I COULD BE DELAYED WHEN MY COUNTRY NEEDS ME. 686 00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:23,561 THIS IS FROM MADAME EDITH. 687 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:27,565 SHE IS READY FOR HER CABARET. THIS IS HER INTRODUCTION. 688 00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:29,567 OH MY GOD. 689 00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,569 SHE'S DOING THE TURKISH NUMBER. 690 00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:34,071 YOU MUST SAY FAREWELL IN THE BACKROOM. 691 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:36,574 - I WILL LEAVE BY THE WINDOW DURING IT. - RIGHT. 692 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,578 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN 693 00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:42,079 AND OFFICERS, 694 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,582 IT IS CABARET TIME AT CAFE RENE. 695 00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:47,084 AND TONIGHT, MADAME EDITH WISHES 696 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,087 TO GIVE YOU ALL THAT YOU WOULD EXPECT. 697 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:52,090 AND SO MAY I ASK FOR THE WARMEST OF WELCOMES 698 00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,592 FOR THE HARLOT OF THE HAREM, 699 00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:57,595 THE CONCUBINE OF CONSTANTINOPLE, 700 00:34:57,595 --> 00:35:00,097 THE TEMPTRESS FROM TURKEY-- 701 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:03,601 WITH THE EMPHASIS ON THE TURKEY-- 702 00:35:03,601 --> 00:35:05,603 MADAME EDITH! 703 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,606 - ( piano playing ) - QUICK, THE CHEESE BOARD! 704 00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:21,619 ♪ I'M YOUR TURKISH DELIGHT ♪ 705 00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:24,121 ♪ AND I WAIT EVERY NIGHT IN MY ROOM ♪ 706 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,124 ♪ THEY ALL KNOCK ON THE DOOR ♪ 707 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:28,126 ♪ AND SHOULD YOU APPEAR ♪ 708 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:30,128 ♪ YOU HAVE NO NEED TO FEAR ♪ 709 00:35:30,128 --> 00:35:32,630 ♪ WE'D BE ON OUR OWN, THAT'S FOR SURE ♪ 710 00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:34,632 ♪ IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE ♪ 711 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:36,133 ♪ MY BIG HUBBA-BUBBLE ♪ 712 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:39,137 ♪ WILL QUICKLY PUT YOU IN THE MOOD ♪ 713 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:41,139 ♪ IT NEVER FAILS ♪ 714 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,641 ♪ WHEN I TAKE OFF MY VEILS ♪ 715 00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,643 ♪ AND OFFER SOME EXOTIC FOOD... ♪ 716 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,148 THAT REMINDS ME, 717 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:53,151 DID YOU ORDER THOSE TWO EXTRA BARRAGE BALLOONS? 718 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,154 FAREWELL, MY LOVE. 719 00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:59,657 I MUST MOUNT MY BICYCLE AND JOIN MICHELLE AND THE GIRLS. 720 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,659 HAVE YOU ANY LAST WORDS FOR ME? 721 00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:05,663 OH YES, YOU CAN USE MY BICYCLE WHILE I AM AWAY. 722 00:36:08,666 --> 00:36:11,669 ♪ NOW HAVE A QUICK DRINK AND BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK ♪ 723 00:36:11,669 --> 00:36:15,673 ♪ I AM SUDDENLY DOWN TO JUST TWO ♪ 724 00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:18,676 ♪ WHEN THE TIME'S RIGHT YOU'LL HAVE TURKISH DELIGHT ♪ 725 00:36:18,676 --> 00:36:21,679 ♪ IN A MANNER THAT'S DARING AND NEW ♪ 726 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,183 ♪ WITH SIX VEILS GONE ♪ 727 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,685 ♪ YOU CAN SHOUT, "CARRY ON" ♪ 728 00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:33,691 ♪ WITH JUST ONE VEIL TWIXT ME AND A BLUSH ♪ 729 00:36:33,691 --> 00:36:37,194 ♪ I THINK I'LL RETIRE NOW THAT I'VE LIT YOUR FIRE ♪ 730 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:39,697 ♪ I'LL BE WAITING UPSTAIRS ♪ 731 00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:41,699 ♪ FOR THE RUSH! ♪ 732 00:36:47,705 --> 00:36:50,708 WE MUST TRY NOT TO GET KILLED IN THE STAMPEDE. 733 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,712 ( panting ) 734 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:02,720 - WHERE ARE THEY? - ( squawking ) 735 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:05,222 OH YES, THE SECRET SIGNAL. 736 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,725 WHAT A RIGMAROLE. 737 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,731 ( makes birdcall ) 738 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:22,240 DAMN, A REAL OWL. 739 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:29,747 - YOU ARE LATE. - I HAD A PUNCTURE. 740 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:32,750 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THOSE LITTLE SHORTS? 741 00:37:32,750 --> 00:37:35,252 IF WE ARE STOPPED, MY GIRLS ARE I ARE PRACTICING 742 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,755 FOR THE TOUR DE FRANCE WHEN THE WAR IS OVER. 743 00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:39,757 AND WHAT IS MY EXCUSE? 744 00:37:39,757 --> 00:37:42,259 YOU ARE TIMING US. 745 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,762 ( whistles ) 746 00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:52,770 WILL I BE TIMING YOU FROM THE FRONT OR THE REAR? 747 00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,772 FROM THE FRONT WITH ME. 748 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:58,275 QUICK, TO THE FIELD. OFFICER CRABTREE IS WAITING FOR US. 749 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,248 ( gears grinding ) 750 00:38:04,248 --> 00:38:06,750 MIND MY GEARBOX, COLONEL. 751 00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:09,253 IT IS NOT WISE TO TRY FOR REVERSE 752 00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:11,255 AT THIS SPEED. 753 00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:18,762 Colonel von Strohm: GRUBER, WHAT'S GOING ON? 754 00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:22,266 JUST RENE PURSUING GIRLS AGAIN. 755 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:25,769 I DO NOT KNOW WHERE HE GETS THE ENERGY. 756 00:38:32,777 --> 00:38:34,779 WHERE IS THE PLANE? 757 00:38:34,779 --> 00:38:37,782 I AM SURE GRUBER KNEW IT WAS ME. 758 00:38:37,782 --> 00:38:40,284 DON'T PANIC. WE LEFT THAT TANK MILES BEHIND. 759 00:38:40,284 --> 00:38:43,787 AS SOON AS WE HEAR THE EARCRAFT ENGINES, 760 00:38:43,788 --> 00:38:46,791 THE GIRLS WILL PIDDLE. 761 00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:49,794 THIS WILL MAKE THEIR LUMPS LIGHT UP 762 00:38:49,794 --> 00:38:52,797 AND GUIDE THE EARCRAFT TO THIS FOLD. 763 00:38:52,797 --> 00:38:56,300 WE ARE LISTENING INTENTLY. 764 00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,302 ( airplane humming ) 765 00:38:58,302 --> 00:39:01,305 I THINK I CAN HEAR IT IN THE DISTANCE. 766 00:39:01,305 --> 00:39:03,307 ATTENTION, LUDIES. 767 00:39:03,307 --> 00:39:05,809 CAN YOU ALL SEE MY TITCH? 768 00:39:05,810 --> 00:39:07,812 Bikers: YES! 769 00:39:07,812 --> 00:39:10,314 THE PIDDLE WHEN I FLASH IT. 770 00:39:12,316 --> 00:39:15,819 GRUBER, CAN YOU SEE INTO HELGA'S ROOM? 771 00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:17,822 YES, THE CURTAINS ARE OPEN. 772 00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:20,324 SHE IS PREPARING FOR BED. 773 00:39:20,324 --> 00:39:22,326 ANY SIGN OF THE MISSING BOOBY? 774 00:39:22,326 --> 00:39:25,329 NOT THE MISSING ONE, NO. 775 00:39:27,331 --> 00:39:31,335 - ( airplane humming ) - LISTEN, AN AIRPLANE. 776 00:39:34,338 --> 00:39:37,341 COLONEL, IT IS AN OLD BIPLANE 777 00:39:37,341 --> 00:39:39,843 WITH BRITISH MARKINGS. 778 00:39:39,844 --> 00:39:42,847 THE INVASION HAS STARTED. IT'S COMING IN TO LAND. 779 00:39:42,847 --> 00:39:45,850 SHOOT IT DOWN WITH YOUR BIG GUN. 780 00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:48,352 HOLD MY BINOCULARS. 781 00:39:49,353 --> 00:39:50,854 HURRY UP, GRUBER. 782 00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:54,358 I'M TRYING TO GET ONE UP THE SPOUT. 783 00:39:54,358 --> 00:39:56,860 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ONE UP THE SPOUT. 784 00:39:58,362 --> 00:40:01,865 DAMN IT, YOU'RE TOO LATE! HE'S GONE PAST. 785 00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:04,869 NO NO! 786 00:40:04,869 --> 00:40:07,872 HE'S TURNING. HE'S COMING BACK. 787 00:40:07,872 --> 00:40:09,874 QUICK, TAKE AIM. 788 00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:11,876 I AM TAKING AIM! 789 00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:13,878 WELL, TAKE AIM QUICKER. 790 00:40:13,878 --> 00:40:15,379 YOU'RE PUTTING ME OFF. 791 00:40:15,379 --> 00:40:18,382 PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR FAT EARS AND BE QUIET. 792 00:40:18,382 --> 00:40:21,885 GRUBER, HOW DARE YOU! 793 00:40:24,889 --> 00:40:27,892 - IT IS HIT! - THE WHEEL HAS COME OFF. 794 00:40:30,895 --> 00:40:33,898 WE SHALL NOT BE LEAVING TONIGHT. 795 00:40:33,898 --> 00:40:36,400 MY GOD, I MUST GET BACK TO THE CAFE. 796 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,902 I HIT IT. 797 00:40:38,903 --> 00:40:41,405 I HIT IT. I HIT IT! 798 00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:45,409 IT'S STILL FLYING. 799 00:40:45,409 --> 00:40:48,412 OH, DEAR. 800 00:40:48,412 --> 00:40:50,914 I HOPE THE PILOT DID NOT GET THE NUMBER 801 00:40:50,915 --> 00:40:52,917 OF THIS LITTLE TANK. 802 00:40:52,917 --> 00:40:55,920 WHEN THEY INVADE, THEY'LL BE VERY CROSS. 803 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,922 ( playing slow-tempo dance tune ) 804 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:08,933 DO NOT WORRY, MADAME EDITH. 805 00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:11,936 I WILL LOOK AFTER YOU WHILE HE IS AWAY, HUH? 806 00:41:13,938 --> 00:41:17,441 I MIGHT EVEN TAKE A ROOM HERE. 807 00:41:17,441 --> 00:41:19,943 THAT WOULD BE TEMPTING FATE. 808 00:41:28,953 --> 00:41:30,955 ON SECOND THOUGHT, 809 00:41:30,955 --> 00:41:33,958 I COULD MAKE UP THE BED IN THE ROOM NEXT TO MINE. 810 00:41:34,959 --> 00:41:37,962 YOU COULD STAY OVER IF YOU LIKE. 811 00:41:37,962 --> 00:41:40,965 MY DICKY TICKER IS RACING AT THE THOUGHT. 812 00:41:46,470 --> 00:41:48,972 - ( gongs ) - ( piano stops ) 813 00:41:48,973 --> 00:41:51,475 I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE. 814 00:41:51,475 --> 00:41:53,977 IN CASE ANYONE HAS NOT HEARD, 815 00:41:53,978 --> 00:41:55,479 I AM WITH CHILD. 816 00:41:56,981 --> 00:41:58,983 AND THE FATHER IS-- 817 00:41:58,983 --> 00:42:01,986 WELL, YES YES, GO ON. 818 00:42:01,986 --> 00:42:05,489 AND THE FATHER IS-- 819 00:42:05,489 --> 00:42:07,491 UNKNOWN! 820 00:42:08,993 --> 00:42:10,995 - SHAME! - SHAME SHAME! 821 00:42:10,995 --> 00:42:12,997 OH, THE SHAME. 822 00:42:12,997 --> 00:42:15,499 YOU HAVE MISSED YOUR PLANE? 823 00:42:15,499 --> 00:42:18,001 A LOT OF THE PLANE JUST MISSED ME. 824 00:42:18,002 --> 00:42:19,503 DO YOU MIND? 825 00:42:19,503 --> 00:42:23,507 MY BACK HAS ONLY BEEN TURNED FOR HALF AN HOUR. 826 00:42:23,507 --> 00:42:26,009 ( piano playing ) 827 00:42:26,010 --> 00:42:29,013 RENE, WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO FIND OUT 828 00:42:29,013 --> 00:42:31,015 WHO THE FATHER WAS. 829 00:42:31,015 --> 00:42:34,018 MAYBE TOMORROW, EDITH, BUT THAT IS ANOTHER DAY. 830 00:42:35,519 --> 00:42:37,521 YOU ARE LEADING AGAIN. 831 00:42:37,521 --> 00:42:39,523 SORRY, RENE. 832 00:42:41,525 --> 00:42:44,528 ( theme music playing )