1 00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,574 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:24,590 YOU MAY WONDER WHAT I AM DOING 3 00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,593 IN THE BACK OF AN R.A.F. PLANE 4 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,596 FLYING AT 10,000 FEET ABOVE THE ENGLISH CHANNEL, 5 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,598 DISGUISED AS A MONK. 6 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:34,100 THERE IS, OF COURSE, A PERFECTLY NORMAL EXPLANATION. 7 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,602 I HAD TO LEAVE NOUVION IN A HURRY 8 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,104 BECAUSE THE GERMANS WERE GOING TO GIVE ME 9 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,106 A COLLABORATION MEDAL FOR HELPING THEM 10 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,608 AND THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE WERE GOING TO HAVE ME SHOT 11 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,110 IF I ACCEPTED IT. 12 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,612 AS NEITHER OF THESE TWO OPTIONS APPEALED TO ME, 13 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:50,116 MY WAITRESS, YVETTE AND I, DISGUISED OURSELVES AS MONKS 14 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,618 TO TAKE THE PLACE OF THE TWO BRITISH AIRMEN, 15 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,621 WHO WERE ALSO DISGUISED AS MONKS, 16 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,122 TO CATCH THIS PLANE. 17 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,624 AS YOU CAN SEE WE HAVE TAKEN THEIR PLACE. 18 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627 UNFORTUNATELY, THE BEST LAID PLANS 19 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,128 CAN GO WRONG, 20 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,130 AND THIS ONE IS, AS THEY SAY, 21 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,132 A REAL TURKEY. 22 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,634 FOR INSTEAD OF ENDING UP WITH MY BEAUTIFUL, 23 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,637 VIBRANT, YOUNG YVETTE, 24 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,640 I FOUND MYSELF WITH MY AIRSICK WIFE, EDITH. 25 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,642 AND SO THE FUTURE 26 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:18,645 IS NO LONGER AS INVITING AS IT SHOULD BE. 27 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,149 HOW MUCH LONGER? 28 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:26,152 THIS AIRPLANE IS SO BUMPY. I FEEL SICK. 29 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,653 IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT, EDITH. 30 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,155 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN NOUVION 31 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:31,657 AND LOOK AFTER THE CAFE. 32 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,661 DO NOT SCOLD ME, RENE. THE CAFE IS IN GOOD HANDS. 33 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:35,662 WHOSE? 34 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,664 MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC'S. 35 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,667 OH MY GOD. THAT'S LIKE PUTTING A COUPLE OF WINOS 36 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,669 IN CHARGE OF A DISTILLERY. 37 00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:45,171 MAMMA IS A VERY RESPONSIBLE PERSON. 38 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:47,673 SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT RUNNING A BAR. 39 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,677 SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT EMPTYING ONE. 40 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,679 AND MONSIEUR LECLERC IS GOOD AT ACCOUNTS. 41 00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,681 HE WAS A BOOKKEEPER. 42 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:57,183 HE WAS A BOOKMAKER. 43 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:58,684 THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. 44 00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:00,687 HE WILL PROBABLY PUT ALL THE TAKINGS 45 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,189 ON THE 2:15 AT LONGCHAMP IF HE GETS THE CHANCE. 46 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:06,192 DO NOT WORRY, RENE, WE ARE TOGETHER, 47 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:07,693 AND YOU ARE SAFE, 48 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,196 AND WE SHALL START A NEW LIFE IN ENGLAND. 49 00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,698 THE ENGLISH THINK THEY ARE GETTING THE FLYING ACES. 50 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:13,700 THEY WILL NOT BE TOO PLEASED 51 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,201 WHEN THEY FIND OUT WHO WE ARE. 52 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,703 BUT YOU ARE THE HERO OF THE RESISTANCE! 53 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,206 THEY SHOULD BE PROUD TO GIVE YOU SANCTUARY. 54 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,208 NEVERTHELESS, I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD MENTION THE ERROR 55 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,210 UNTIL WE ARE SAFELY ON THE GROUND. 56 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,212 SHH, ONE OF THEM IS COMING. 57 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:29,215 PRETTY HAIRY TAKE OFF, WHAT! 58 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:32,218 SO, YOU'RE CARSTAIRS AND FAIRFAX. 59 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:35,221 I'M TIGGER THOMPSON. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS CARSTAIRS? 60 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:37,223 FLOF FLOF FLOF FLOF. 61 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,725 DAMN BRAVE CHAP. 62 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,727 AND YOU MUST BE FAIRFAX. 63 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,730 RAH RAH RAH RAH. 64 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,233 MY GOD, FAIRFAX, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. 65 00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,734 DID THEY TORTURE YOU? 66 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,737 OH, RAH RAH RAH RAH. 67 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:53,239 OH, THE SWINE. 68 00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:56,242 CARSTAIRS LOOKS GHASTLY AND POOR OLD FAIRFAX 69 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,744 LOOKS ABOUT 110. WHAT'S MORE, 70 00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:02,248 HE'S WEARING LIPSTICK AND PERFUME. 71 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:04,750 Airman #2: THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T BROKEN HIS SPIRIT THEN. 72 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,753 SOON HAVE YOU BACK IN BLIGHTY, CHAPS. 73 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,756 - FLOF FLOF FLOF FLOF. - RAH RAH RAH RAH. 74 00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,258 I AM REVITALIZED 75 00:03:12,258 --> 00:03:13,759 BY THIS JOB, ERNEST. 76 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,762 I FEEL 10 YEARS YOUNGER, 77 00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:19,265 AS IF I AM FLOATING ON AIR. 78 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:20,766 I AM NOT SURPRISED, 79 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,769 YOU HAVE NEARLY EMPTIED THE BOTTLE. 80 00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:25,772 DID YOU REMEMBER TO BRING UP 81 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,774 THE CRATES OF CHAMPAGNE FROM THE CELLAR 82 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,776 FOR OUR CELEBRATION? 83 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,778 YES, BUT WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? 84 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,780 WELL, WHAT DAY IS IT TODAY? 85 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,783 - WEDNESDAY. - THAT WILL DO. 86 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,786 AH, YOU LAZY GIRLS, 87 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,290 YOU HAVE MISSED A BIT HERE AND THERE, TOO. 88 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,292 DO IT AGAIN. 89 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,794 AND YOU WILL KEEP ON DOING IT, 90 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,296 UNTIL I AM SATISFIED! 91 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,298 ( huffs ) 92 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,300 MADAME FANNY HAS TURNED INTO 93 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,302 A RIGHT OLD TYRANT SINCE RENE LEFT. 94 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,804 SHE TREATS US LIKE SLAVES. 95 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,807 I ONLY HOPE HE IS SAFE IN LONDON. 96 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,809 SO DO I. 97 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,811 BUT NO ONE MUST KNOW HE HAS GONE THERE. 98 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,313 - MY LIPS ARE SEALED. - SO ARE MINE. 99 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:10,316 HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE GONE WITH HIM. 100 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,318 I WISH THE SAME FOR ME. 101 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,821 IF I HAD GONE WITH HIM, HE WOULD BE HAVING A GOOD TIME. 102 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:18,324 HE WOULD BE HAVING AN EVEN BETTER TIME WITH ME. 103 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:22,328 HA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MEN? 104 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,830 I AM RENOWNED FOR REFRESHING THE PARTS 105 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:27,834 THAT OTHER WOMEN MISS. 106 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,838 YOU? YOU CANNOT EVEN REACH THOSE PARTS. 107 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,340 HOW DARE YOU? 108 00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:37,343 ( both shrieking ) 109 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:40,346 STOP IT! STOP IT! 110 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,348 I WILL NOT HAVE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR 111 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:44,350 FROM MY STAFF. 112 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,851 YOUR STAFF? 113 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,854 YES. I AM IN CHARGE. 114 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:51,357 WE ANSWER ONLY TO RENE. 115 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,859 RENE WILL NOT BE BACK TILL THE WAR IS OVER. 116 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,363 TILL THEN YOU WILL DO AS I SAY 117 00:04:57,363 --> 00:04:59,865 OR YOU WILL BE BACK ON THE STREETS 118 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,367 WHERE YOU BELONG. 119 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,373 DO NOT BE CHEEKY. 120 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,411 ARE THE CHAPS HERE, FARKINGTON? 121 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,415 THERE'S BEEN A COCK-UP, I'M AFRAID, SIR. 122 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,417 IT SEEMS OUR CHAPS PICKED UP 123 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,918 THE WRONG TWO MONKS. 124 00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:20,419 WELL, ACTUALLY, 125 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,422 IT'S A MONK AND A MONKESS. 126 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,424 WHAT BEASTLY LUCK. 127 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,925 - WHERE ARE THEY NOW? - OUTSIDE, SIR. 128 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:28,427 LET'S SEE WHAT THEY HAVE GOT TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES. 129 00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,430 IN HERE. 130 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:32,932 THERE'S A CHAPPIE ON HIS WAY OVER FROM INTELLIGENCE 131 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:33,933 TO DEBRIEF THEM. 132 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,935 LET'S HAVE A CRACK AT THEM BEFORE HE ARRIVES. 133 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,938 NOW LOOK, YOU TWO, WHAT WERE YOU DOING 134 00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:39,939 GETTING ON THAT AIRPLANE? 135 00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,440 WHAT DID HE SAY, RENE? 136 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:43,443 I DO NOT SPEAK OF WORD OF THE LANGUAGE. 137 00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,446 BLIGHTERS DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. 138 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:48,948 HOW'S YOUR FRENCH, FARKERS? 139 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,450 RUSTY, SIR, BUT I'LL GIVE IT A BASH. 140 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,455 GOOD MOANING. 141 00:05:57,457 --> 00:06:00,460 WE WOULD LIK TO KNEE WOTE YOU WERE DEEING 142 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,462 IN THE BICK OF THE EARCRAFT? 143 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:03,963 OH MY GOD, 144 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,465 CAN NONE OF THEM SPEAK FRENCH PROPERLY? 145 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,468 I DON'T THINK HE GOT MY GIST, SIR. 146 00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,470 TRY AGAIN. 147 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:12,472 ARE YOU ROLLY MINKS, 148 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:15,975 OR ARE YOU IN DISGEESE? 149 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,477 - DID YOU GET THAT, RENE? - TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE 150 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,480 THE RAVINGS OF A MAD PARROT. 151 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,983 IT'S NO USE, SIR, IF ONLY MY OLD CHUM CRABTREE WERE HERE-- 152 00:06:23,983 --> 00:06:25,985 WHY, HE SPEAKS FLUENT FRENCH. 153 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,486 ( intercom buzzes ) 154 00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:29,489 The interpreter from military intelligence 155 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:31,991 - has arrived, sir. - THANK YOU, PENELOPE. 156 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:32,992 SEND HIM IN. 157 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,997 KLOP-- OOPS! 158 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,002 ( in British accent ) SORRY, CHAPS, OLD HABIT. 159 00:06:43,002 --> 00:06:45,004 RATHER THROWN BY SIGHT OF OLD CHUMS. 160 00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:48,007 RENE, IT IS CAPTAIN HANS GEERING. 161 00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:49,508 I CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES. 162 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:53,012 - YOU KNOW THESE TWO? - CAFE CHAPPIE AND WIFE 163 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,513 FROM NOUVION WHERE I WAS STATIONED. 164 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,516 BE GOOD FELLOWS, GIVE ME FIVE WITH THEM. 165 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,017 RIGHT, COME ON, FARKINGTON. 166 00:06:58,017 --> 00:07:00,519 LET'S HOPE THEY'VE GOT A DAMN GOOD EXPLANATION 167 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,021 FOR THIS GHASTLY MESS. 168 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:05,024 ( German accent ) RENE! OH! 169 00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:08,027 MADAME EDITH! 170 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:10,529 OH, I HAVE A LUMP IN MY THROAT, 171 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,031 AND SUDDENLY THE MEMORIES OF NOUVION 172 00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:15,034 HAVE FLOODED BACK. OH, I MUST SIT DOWN. 173 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,035 ( blows nose ) 174 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:19,538 CAPTAIN GEERING, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT UNIFORM? 175 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,041 ARE YOU SPYING FOR THE GERMANS? 176 00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:24,043 YOU CANNOT ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THAT, EDITH. 177 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,544 WHAT IF SOMEBODY IS LISTENING AT THE KEYHOLE? 178 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,047 OF COURSE, HOW FOOLISH OF ME. 179 00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,549 IF YOU ARE, JUST WINK. 180 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,553 NO, I HAVE BECOME A NEUTRALIZED ENGLISHMAN. 181 00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,055 OH, YOU POOR MAN. 182 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:39,058 WAS IT PAINFUL? 183 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:41,060 HE MEANS HE IS NOW ONE OF THEM. 184 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,562 WELL, AFTER THAT I AM NOT SURPRISED. 185 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:46,565 RENE IS CORRECT. 186 00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:49,068 I AM NOW A CITIZEN OF THE ENGLISH, 187 00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:51,570 AND AM WORKING FOR THEM AS AN OFFICER IN INTELLIGENCE. 188 00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,573 ( chuckles ) 189 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,074 WOULDN'T THE COLONEL BE SURPRISED? 190 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,076 HE WOULD BE AMAZED! 191 00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:59,078 THE LAST WE HEARD OF YOU WAS ON THE RADIO 192 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:01,580 WHEN THE RESISTANCE SPIRITED YOU AWAY TO ENGLAND. 193 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:04,083 A LOT OF WARM BEER HAS FLOWED 194 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,085 UNDER MY BRIDGE SINCE THEN. 195 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:07,586 I SPENT THREE MONTHS BEING BRAINWASHED 196 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,089 BY THEIR BEST MEN, BURGESS AND MACLEAN. 197 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,591 SO YOU SWAPPED SIDES? 198 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:15,094 WELL, I DID NOT FANCY A PRISON CAMP, 199 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,596 NOT AFTER THE OTHER ONE I ACCIDENTALLY FOUND MYSELF IN WITH YOU. 200 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:20,099 SWAPPING SIDES IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. 201 00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:23,102 I AM NOT ASHAMED. I GET FIVE POUNDS PER WEEK, 202 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:25,604 FREE LODGINGS AND A ONE-WAY TICKET TO SOUTH AMERICA 203 00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:28,107 IF MY LOT GET AS FAR AS MARBLE ARCH. 204 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:30,609 COULD YOU, IN YOUR EXALTED POSITION, 205 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,612 PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR US, CAPTAIN GEERING? 206 00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,614 I DO NOT HAVE TO. 207 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:38,117 BEING IN INTELLIGENCE, I KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS SUSPECTED. 208 00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:42,121 YOU ARE NIGHTHAWK, HERO OF THE RESISTANCE. 209 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:43,622 I MUST SAY YOU HAD ME COMPLETELY FOOLED. 210 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,626 I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A BUMBLING OLD PEASANT. 211 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,127 THANK YOU. 212 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:50,629 AND YOU WERE DOING IT RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES. 213 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,131 WHAT FOOLS YOU MADE OF THE COLONEL 214 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:55,134 - AND THE REST OF US! - OH, PLEASE DO NOT BE CROSS. 215 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,136 WE WERE UNWILLING PAWNS OF FATE. 216 00:08:57,136 --> 00:09:00,639 OVER HERE YOU ARE HEROES. I AM SORRY WE WILL NOT BE ABLE 217 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,141 TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER BEFORE YOU GO BACK. 218 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,143 GO BACK? OH NO, WE CANNOT GO BACK. 219 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:06,145 NO, IT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION! 220 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,147 WE SHOULD BE SHOT AS COLLABORATORS... 221 00:09:08,147 --> 00:09:09,648 OR HE WILL. 222 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:13,152 WE WILL CONTACT THE RESISTANCE AND STRAIGHTEN THINGS OUT. 223 00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,654 DO NOT WORRY, YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS. 224 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:18,157 NOW PLEASE SIT ON THE CHAIRS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DESK 225 00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,659 WHILE I DO MY STUFF. 226 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:21,661 ( clearing throat ) 227 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,663 NOW, TELL-- OH! 228 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,666 TELL ME IN EVERY DETAIL WHAT HAPPENED 229 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,168 AND HOW YOU GOT HERE, LEAVING OUT NOTHING. 230 00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:31,170 NEVER TAKING YOUR EYES OFF MINE FOR A SECOND 231 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,172 SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THAT EVERY WORD YOU TELL ME IS THE TRUTH. 232 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:34,673 WELL, UH... 233 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,676 AS ONE FRIEND TO ANOTHER, 234 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,678 IT IS LIKE THIS... IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. 235 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,680 LIAR! 236 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,181 HOW AM I DOING SO FAR? 237 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,683 YOU'VE GOT MY ADRENALINE GOING. 238 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,186 Older man: TELL INTELLIGENCE 239 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,188 I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THIS FRENCHMAN 240 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,190 WHO SAVED MY BACON. 241 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,692 HE MUST BE A REMARKABLE MAN INDEED, 242 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,695 AND REMARKABLE MEN 243 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,696 SHOULD GET TOGETHER 244 00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,699 TO DISCUSS THE REMARKABLE THINGS 245 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:03,703 THAT ARE HAPPENING IN THESE REMARKABLE TIMES. 246 00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:08,207 I AM SORRY I HAD TO SOUND SEVERE. 247 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,209 IT'S ALL PART OF THE JOB AND YOU NEVER KNOW 248 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,211 WHO IS LISTENING AT THE KEYHOLE. 249 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,213 TEA FOR THREE, AND DON'T BE MINGY WITH THE BISCUITS. 250 00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:17,716 I SAY, ARE YOU GETTING ANYWHERE, CAPTAIN? 251 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,218 - ABSOLUTELY, OLD BEAN. - WHAT HAPPENED? 252 00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:22,221 IT SEEMS THERE WAS A JOLLY OLD COCK-UP FROG SIDE. 253 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:24,723 THE OLD CRATE CAME DOWN BANG IN THE JOLLY OLD FIELD, 254 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:26,726 BUT THE DASHED AIRMEN HAD GONE A.W.O.L. 255 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,728 THESE TWO CAME TO TELL OUR CHAPS AND GOT DRAGGED ON BOARD. 256 00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:32,231 SO THAT EXPLAINS IT. WELL THEN, WHO ARE THESE TWO MONKEY PEOPLE? 257 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:34,233 SEEMS HE'S NIGHTHAWK. 258 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,234 KEY RESISTANCE JOHNNY IN FRANCE. 259 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:38,237 I SAY, LET ME SHAKE YOUR HAND, OLD CHAP. 260 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:40,239 DAMN BRAVE, WHAT. 261 00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,740 WHAT'S HE SAYING, RENE? 262 00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,243 I EXPECT HE IS SAYING HOW DAMN BRAVE I AM. 263 00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,749 P.M. WANTS TO SEE HIM AT NUMBER 10 P-D-Q. 264 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,250 SURELY NOT IN THOSE CLOTHES, SIR? 265 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,752 WELL, SURELY YOU HAD SOME CIVVIES STANDING BY 266 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,254 FOR FAIRFAX AND CARSTAIRS? 267 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,755 YES SIR, WE'VE GOT THESE. 268 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:58,758 THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE. THEY'LL HAVE TO DO. 269 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,760 CAPTAIN, WILL YOU TELL THESE FRENCHIES 270 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,262 WE ARE GOING TO SEE THE P.M. AND HE WILL PROBABLY GIVE THEM A MEDAL? 271 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:06,265 CHURCHILL IS PROBABLY GOING TO GIVE YOU A MEDAL. 272 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,267 MAY I SAY HOW HAPPY I AM TO GIVE YOU THIS NEWS? 273 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,768 OH MY GOD, NO, NOT A MEDAL. 274 00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:11,771 - NO, NO, PLEASE. - WHAT DID HE SAY? 275 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,774 HE IS ALMOST SPEECHLESS WITH EXCITEMENT. 276 00:11:16,909 --> 00:11:19,411 GOOD MORNING, COLONEL, LIEUTENANT, CAPTAIN. 277 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,914 GOOD MORNING, YVETTE. WE ARE LOOKING FOR RENE. 278 00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:23,916 HE IS NOT HERE, I AM AFRAID. 279 00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,418 WELL, WHERE IS HE? WE HAVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR HIM. 280 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,922 HE SAID HE HAD JOINED THE MONASTERY, BUT HE IS NOT THERE. 281 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:33,425 ALL WE FIND WERE A BUNCH OF THE MONKEYS IN THE LONG DRESSES. 282 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,428 I THINK HE CHANGED HIS MIND 283 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,929 ABOUT BECOMING A MONK, 284 00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,430 THE ROBES WERE TOO TICKLY. 285 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,433 I NOT SURPRISED. 286 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,435 WITH BEAUTIFUL LADIES LIKE YOU AROUND, 287 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,937 ONLY THE FRUITCAKE GO INTO THE MONASTERY. 288 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:47,439 OH, THANK YOU CAPTAIN, 289 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,943 - WHAT A CHARMER. - YEAH, AND HOW SICKENING. 290 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:54,947 NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO RENE HAS IT, YVETTE? 291 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,449 HE SAID THREATS HAD BEEN MADE AGAINST HIM. 292 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,453 HE'S NOT HIDING IN SOME COLD PLACE, 293 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,955 ALONE AND FRIENDLESS? I COULD NOT BEAR IT. 294 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,456 OH NO, LIEUTENANT. 295 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,459 HE HAS JUST GONE AWAY FOR A FEW DAYS. 296 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,462 - ( plays note ) - MI MI MI MI... 297 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,964 ( Fanny warbles ) 298 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,967 - WHAT IS MADAME FANNY DOING? - SHE PLANS TO SING TONIGHT. 299 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,468 SHE IS JUST WARMING UP HER TONSILS. 300 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,472 IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE SHE'S OVERHEATING. 301 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,974 DO YOU REQUIRE A TABLE FOR THIS EVENING? 302 00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:25,477 YES, BUT A LONG WAY FROM THE PIANO. 303 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,480 AND MAKE SURE THERE IS PLENTY OF CHEESE 304 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,482 FOR OUR EARS. 305 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:33,486 I MUST LUBRICATE MY VOCAL CORDS. 306 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,989 ( gargles ) 307 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,491 ( shrilling ) 308 00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,494 I THINK IT HAS DONE THE TRICK. 309 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:45,998 GOOD MOANING. 310 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,001 GOOD MOANING. 311 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:52,504 I HAVE SOME BOD NOSE FOR YOU. 312 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,008 I HAVE HAD A MASSAGE FROM ONGLAND. 313 00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:58,010 RONNIE IS OVA THERE. 314 00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,012 NO? IS HE SAFE? 315 00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:02,514 AND ARE HIS PIECES IN ONE? 316 00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:04,016 I PRESUME SUE, 317 00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:07,519 BUT THERE HAS BEEN AN ALMOTEY KICK-UP. 318 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,023 HE AND MODOM EDITH SIMHOW GOT ON THE EARCRAFT 319 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:13,025 INSTEAD OF THE BROTISH EARMAN. 320 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:15,027 MICHELLE IS LOVID WITH INGER. 321 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,530 BUT THANK HEAVENS HE IS SAFE. 322 00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:22,534 MICHELLE HAS ARROONGED TO SPOKE TO HIM 323 00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,538 ON THE ROODIO AT FARTEEN HONDRID EARS. 324 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:29,041 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE BRITISH AIRMEN? 325 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:30,542 WE DO NOT KNEE, 326 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,546 BUT I AM GOING TO LICK FOR THEM ON MY BURCYCLE. 327 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,049 IF THE NITZIS FIND THEM, 328 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:39,551 WE COULD BE UP THE CRICK WITHOUT A PIDDLE. 329 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,056 THAT IS BAD NOSE. 330 00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:49,061 I SAY, CARSTAIRS, 331 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:53,065 I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT AIRPLANE FROM BLIGHTY? 332 00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,566 DON'T KNOW, OLD BOY. 333 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,069 MUST HAVE MISSED IT SOMEHOW. 334 00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,071 WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO KIP DOWN HERE 335 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,073 UNTIL SOMEONE FINDS US. 336 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,075 I HOPE THEY HURRY UP, I'M STARVING. 337 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:04,576 WELL-- 338 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,079 "NEEDS MUST WHEN THE DEVIL DRIVES." 339 00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:10,082 CAN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE GRUB AT THE CAFE. 340 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,089 ENTER. 341 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,593 THESE ARE THE TWO FRENCH RESISTANCE FIGHTERS 342 00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,095 YOU ASKED TO SEE, PRIME MINISTER. 343 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,599 THEY DON'T LOOK VERY FRENCH TO ME. 344 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,603 MORE LIKE LAUREL AND HARDY. 345 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,104 WE HAD TO GIVE THEM 346 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:34,106 NEW CLOTHES, PRIME MINISTER. 347 00:14:34,106 --> 00:14:35,607 WHEN THEY ARRIVED, ALL THEY HAD 348 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,609 WERE FILTHY OLD HABITS. 349 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,114 THAT'S TYPICAL OF THE FRENCH. 350 00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:44,116 HE LOOKS VERY TIRED. 351 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:46,618 IT IS ALL THAT BLOOD, SWEAT, TOIL, AND TEARS. 352 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,621 NOT TO MENTION THE WHISKEY. 353 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:53,125 TELL THEM, I'M VERY GRATEFUL TO THEM. 354 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,627 FOILING THE PLOT TO KIDNAP ME 355 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,630 WAS A MOST COURAGEOUS ACT. 356 00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,131 I HAVE THEIR MEDALS HERE. 357 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,632 HE HAS THE MEDALS FOR YOU. 358 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,135 OH, NO, THAT IS THE LAST THING WE WANT. 359 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:05,137 REFUSE THEM, CAPTAIN GEERING, PLEASE. 360 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:06,638 WHAT WAS THAT, CAPTAIN? 361 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,641 THEY ARE DELIGHTED, PRIME MINISTER. 362 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,142 YOU CANNOT REFUSE THEM. 363 00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,144 HE MAY HAVE YOU SHOT AS TRAITORS. 364 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,646 HERE ARE THE CITATIONS. 365 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,650 R. ARTOYZ, E. ARTOYZ, 366 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:21,153 FOR GALLANTRY ABOVE THE CALL OF DUTY. 367 00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,155 BROTHERS ARE THEY? 368 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,657 NO, THEY'RE MARRIED, PRIME MINISTER. 369 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,661 VERY ODD BEDFELLOWS, THE FRENCH. 370 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,162 NO, SIR, 371 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,663 THIS ONE'S A WOMAN. 372 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,669 I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. 373 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,673 COME HERE. 374 00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,676 IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU, 375 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,679 BRAVE, LOYAL ALLIES, 376 00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,681 FIGHTING ON THE BEACHES, 377 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,682 IN THE FIELDS, 378 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,684 ON THE STREETS AND IN THE HILLS, 379 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,686 WHO ARE KEEPING THE FREE WORLD SAFE 380 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:56,689 FROM THE SHADOW OF THE NAZI JACKBOOT. 381 00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,692 I GIVE YOU THESE MEDALS, 382 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,194 FROM A GRATEFUL BRITISH PEOPLE, 383 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:05,197 IN RECOGNITION OF YOUR WORK FOR THE RESISTANCE. 384 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,698 WHAT DID HE SAY? 385 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,200 YOU'RE A HERO. 386 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,701 THANK YOU. 387 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,204 I'M GETTING QUITE A COLLECTION. 388 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,210 I WILL PIN IT ON MYSELF, MR. CHURCHILL. 389 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,712 CAPTAIN, SHOW THEM THE SIGHTS 390 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,215 AND TAKE THEM FOR TEA ON EXPENSES. 391 00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:24,716 YES, PRIME MINISTER. 392 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,219 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 393 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,221 I MUST GET ON WITH THE WAR. 394 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:31,223 THAT'S IT. HE HAS TO GET ON WITH THE WAR. 395 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:34,226 ( snoring ) 396 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,229 I THINK IT COULD BE A VERY LONG ONE. 397 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,776 YOU ARE NOT PEDALING EVENLY, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 398 00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:53,278 I'M SORRY, HERR FLICK. 399 00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,780 HOW CAN I MAKE POTS, 400 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,783 IF THE WHEEL DOES NOT TURN EVENLY? 401 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,285 NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE MADE ME DO. 402 00:17:02,287 --> 00:17:04,289 MY POT HAS GONE ALL WOBBLY. 403 00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:08,293 I WAS CONCENTRATING ON MY PETIT POINT. 404 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,295 IT IS GOING VERY WELL. 405 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:13,298 OH, DEAR, I HAVE STITCHED IT TO MY HABIT. 406 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:15,800 I WILL TELL THE ABBOT, VON SMALLHAUSEN, 407 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,803 AND HE WILL PUT YOU IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. 408 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:18,804 I DO NOT MIND. 409 00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,306 I FIND THE PEACE AND QUIET REFRESHING. 410 00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,308 IN THAT CASE, YOU WILL REMAIN HERE WITH ME. 411 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,310 - ( knocking ) - ENTER! 412 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,815 WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU, SISTER? 413 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:32,317 IT IS I, HELGA. 414 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,318 HELGA?! 415 00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:35,320 YOU HAVE NOT BECOME A NUN, HAVE YOU? 416 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,822 NO, I HAD TO DISGUISE MYSELF TO GET IN. 417 00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,324 ORDINARY WOMEN ARE FORBIDDEN, 418 00:17:39,324 --> 00:17:40,825 IN CASE THEY CORRUPT THE MONKS. 419 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,327 I ALWAYS SAY, 420 00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:45,330 A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT YOU FANCY DOES YOU GOOD. 421 00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,332 HAVE YOU LOCATED THE BRITISH AIRMEN YET? 422 00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:48,833 NO, IT IT NOT VERY EASY. 423 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,836 WELL, COULD YOU NOT EAVESDROP AND SEE 424 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,337 IF ANY OF THE MONKS SPEAK ENGLISH? 425 00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:54,339 THIS IS A SILENT ORDER. 426 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:57,342 EXCEPT AFTER THE CHEESE AND ONION SOUP. 427 00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:59,844 DID YOU GET THE NOTE WE SMUGGLED OUT, 428 00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,847 ATTACHED TO THE STRAY DOG, 429 00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:03,849 THAT I REMEMBERED YOU HAD ONCE THROWN A BONE TO-- 430 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:06,852 WHICH I ASSUMED WOULD SEEK YOU OUT FOR ANOTHER NIBBLE? 431 00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,854 NO, 432 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,856 BUT I DID SEE YOU SWINGING 433 00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,357 ON THE BELL ROPE, THROUGH MY BINOCULARS, 434 00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:14,359 AND ASSUMED YOU MUST BE SUFFERING 435 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,361 GREAT PRIVATION IN THE CAUSE OF DUTY, 436 00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:17,862 AND IN CONSEQUENCE, 437 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:19,865 I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOME SUSTENANCE. 438 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,871 HERE IS THE BREAD FOR THE SANDWICHES. 439 00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,873 WHAT IS THERE TO PUT BETWEEN THEM? 440 00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:39,384 I HAVE BROUGHT A SALAMI. 441 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,885 HELGA, 442 00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:44,389 IN MY CURRENT STATE OF NOOKY DEPRIVATION, 443 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:47,392 THE SIGHT OF YOUR GARTER DRIVES ME WILD. 444 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,394 MAY I KISS YOU, HERR FLICK? 445 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:50,895 A NOTICE 446 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,898 WARNS OF SEVERE PENALTIES 447 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,399 SHOULD ANY KISSING TAKE PLACE 448 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:56,401 WITHIN THESE WALLS. 449 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,403 AM I NOT WORTH THE RISK? 450 00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,907 LET US TRY AND SEE. 451 00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,914 THE ANSWER IS NO. 452 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:15,920 QUICK, IT IS NEARLY TIME. 453 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:19,424 Rene: Hello, Nighthawk, this is... er, 454 00:19:19,424 --> 00:19:21,926 Nighthawk calling from London. Over. 455 00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:25,430 HELLO, NIGHTHAWK. THIS IS BLUE TIT. 456 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:27,932 RECEIVING YOU LOUD AND CLEAR. OVER. 457 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,434 Hello, Blue Tit, 458 00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:32,437 I, too, can hear you very loud and clear. Over. 459 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,939 WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE PLAN? 460 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,442 We were dragged onto the plane by mistake. 461 00:19:37,442 --> 00:19:39,444 They thought we were the airmen. Over. 462 00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:41,446 WHERE ARE THE AIRMEN NOW? 463 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,448 Are they not with you? Over. 464 00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:45,950 WOULD I BE ASKING IF THEY WERE? 465 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,453 OFFICER CRABTREE HAS SEARCHED THE WHOLE COUNTRYSIDE FOR THEM. 466 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:51,956 I HAVE LICKED EVERYWHERE ON MY BURCYCLE, 467 00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,960 BUT THEY HAVE VINISHED INTO THON EAR. 468 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,962 I HAVE BURCYCLED SO MUCH, 469 00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,465 I'VE GOT A SORE BIM. 470 00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,467 Well, I do not know where they are. Over. 471 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:04,969 NIGHTHAWK, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 472 00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,972 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 473 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:10,475 YOU MUST RETURN IMMEDIATELY TO SORT THIS OUT. 474 00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:12,477 Edith: This is Mrs. Nighthawk. 475 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:13,978 IT IS MADAME EDITH. 476 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:16,481 I would like to speak to Mamma. 477 00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:17,982 SHE HAS PASSED OUT ON THE BED, 478 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:19,484 WITH A BOTTLE OF GIN. 479 00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:20,985 Who is looking after the till? 480 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:22,988 MONSIEUR LECLERC IS IN THE BAR, 481 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,990 GIVING FREE DRINKS TO ALL HIS OLD PALS. 482 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,992 He will ruin the business! 483 00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,995 We shall return tonight. Over and out. 484 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,130 Edith: IT WAS VERY GOOD OF YOU 485 00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:35,133 TO TAKE US SHOPPING, CAPTAIN GEERING. 486 00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,135 NOT AT ALL, MADAME EDITH. 487 00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:39,137 OH IT IS ALL ON GOVERNMENT EXPENSES. 488 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:43,641 AND I LOVE THIS DRESS. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 489 00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,143 WHAT DO THINK, RENE? 490 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:47,145 IT WAS A LONG WAY TO COME 491 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:49,147 JUST TO GO TO MARKS AND SPENCERS. 492 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:51,149 YOU WERE VERY PLEASED WITH YOUR Y-FRONTS. 493 00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:53,651 PLEASE, NOT HERE. 494 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,654 WE CANNOT HAVE YOU COMING TO LYONS CORNER HOUSE 495 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,656 IN A MAN'S SUIT, MADAME EDITH. 496 00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,158 SO THIS IS LYONS CORNER HOUSE. 497 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:02,160 OH, IT IS VERY NICE. 498 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,661 DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN, CAPTAIN? 499 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,164 OH, YES, I HAVE SOMETHING OF A SWEET TOOTH. 500 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:09,167 BUT IT IS NOT THE SAME AS FRANCE. 501 00:21:09,167 --> 00:21:11,669 HOW I MISS THE SMELL OF THE DRAINS, 502 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:13,672 AND HAIR OIL, 503 00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:15,674 AND THEY CAN'T MAKE STRUDEL HERE FOR TOFFEE. 504 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:18,176 BUT MOST OF ALL, MADAME EDITH, I MISS YOUR COOKING. 505 00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:21,679 THINGS MUST BE VERY BAD OVER HERE. 506 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,184 ALSO, I HAVE-- A LITTLE THING GOING 507 00:21:26,184 --> 00:21:27,685 WITH ONE OF THE WAITRESSES HERE. 508 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,688 HER NAME IS ETHEL. 509 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,189 SHE'S A NIPPY. 510 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:33,691 IS SHE JAPANESE? 511 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,694 NO, NO, THEY MOVE SO FAST, 512 00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:36,695 THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THEM. 513 00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:39,698 I HOPE SHE'S BETTER LOOKING THAN THAT ONE OVER THERE. 514 00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:41,700 THAT'S HER. 515 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,202 OH. NOW THAT I GIVE HER A SECOND LOOK, 516 00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:46,204 I SEE SHE DOES HAVE CERTAIN QUALITIES. 517 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,205 YOU'LL LIKE HER. 518 00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:49,207 COULD WE HAVE THE SPECIAL PLEASE, ETHEL? 519 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,712 THESE WAS LEFTOVER FROM A CUSTOMER 520 00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:56,214 WHAT GOT TIRED OF WAITING, SO YOU'RE IN LUCK. 521 00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:57,215 WILL I, ER... 522 00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:58,716 WILL I SEE YOU LATER, ETHEL? 523 00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:01,720 OOOH, IF YOU LIKE. I'M OFF THIS EVENING. 524 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,722 I'LL COME ROUND AND KNOCK YOU UP AT ABOUT 8:00. 525 00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,224 ( laughs hysterically ) 526 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,228 SUCH A STRANGE SENSE OF HUMOR, 527 00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:11,729 HAVE THESE ENGLISH GIRLS. 528 00:22:11,730 --> 00:22:14,232 WHAT HAS DIED ON THIS HEATED BREAD? 529 00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:15,733 TODAY'S SPECIAL. 530 00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:17,235 MUSHROOM STALKS ON TOAST. 531 00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:18,736 DELICIOUS! 532 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:20,238 APART FROM WHICH, EVERYTHING ELSE IS OFF. 533 00:22:20,238 --> 00:22:21,739 - IT ALWAYS IS. - MUSHROOM STALKS? 534 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,742 WHAT DO THEY DO WITH THE REST OF THE MUSHROOMS? 535 00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:27,245 GRIND THEM UP TO MAKE TEA, 536 00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:28,746 IF THIS IS ANYTHING TO GO BY. 537 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,249 YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO LIVE ON THIS FOOD? 538 00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:33,751 IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S VERY TASTY. 539 00:22:33,752 --> 00:22:36,755 AND GREAT GERMANY IS SUCCESSFULLY BLOCKING 540 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:38,757 THE ALLIES' SUPPLY LINES, 541 00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:40,258 WHICH ARE STRETCHED TO BREAKING POINT, 542 00:22:40,258 --> 00:22:42,760 BY OUR GLORIOUS MEN IN THE UNDERSEA BOATENS, 543 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:44,763 AS THEY BLOW THEM OUT OF THE WATER. 544 00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,265 OOPS! WHAT AM I SAYING? 545 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:48,766 YOU KNOW, EDITH, 546 00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:50,769 I WISH I WERE COMING HOME WITH YOU TONIGHT. 547 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:53,772 OH, WHAT A LOVELY THING TO SAY. 548 00:22:53,772 --> 00:22:56,274 AFTER EATING HERE, EVEN YOUR FOOD TASTES LIKE CORDON BLEU. 549 00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,776 I'M AFRAID I MUST GO, RENE. 550 00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:02,280 MAMMA AND MONSIEUR LECLERC ARE RUINING THE BUSINESS. 551 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,781 I WILL SEND YOU GOOD LUCK MESSAGES, 552 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:06,284 FROM TIME TO TIME, ON THE RADIO. 553 00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,786 - ( siren sounds ) - LISTEN, AN AIR RAID. 554 00:23:08,787 --> 00:23:11,289 OUR GLORIOUS AIR FORCE, WHOSE BRAVE PILOTS 555 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,291 DEFIED THE MIGHT OF THE FEW, 556 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,793 HAVE COME TO BLOW THE PANTS OFF THE BRITISH IMPERIALISTS. 557 00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:18,296 OOPS! I MUST GO FOR SOME MORE BRAINWASHING. 558 00:23:18,296 --> 00:23:19,797 QUICK, TO THE SHELTERS. 559 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,301 EVENING, YVETTE. 560 00:23:23,301 --> 00:23:24,802 GOOD EVENING, COLONEL. 561 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,805 YOUR TABLE IS OVER HERE. 562 00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:29,307 IS THERE ANY WORD FROM RENE, YVETTE? 563 00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:32,310 NO, BUT WE EXPECT HIM BACK SHORTLY. 564 00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:35,313 OH, GOOD, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO REPORT 565 00:23:35,313 --> 00:23:37,315 PERSONS MISSING MORE THAN 24 HOURS 566 00:23:37,315 --> 00:23:38,816 TO THE GENERAL. 567 00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:40,318 AFTER THAT, THEY ARE SUBJECT 568 00:23:40,318 --> 00:23:42,320 TO ARREST AND INTERROGATION. 569 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,822 ALSO THEIR FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES. 570 00:23:44,823 --> 00:23:46,825 THIS INCLUDES THE STAFF HERE. 571 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,827 SO YOU SEE, IT IS RATHER SERIOUS. 572 00:23:48,827 --> 00:23:50,829 ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T KNOW HIS WHEREABOUTS? 573 00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,831 I HAVE NO IDEA. 574 00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:54,833 - NOR THOSE OF HIS WIFE? - I KNOW NOTHING. 575 00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,334 I THINK SHE TELL THE TRUTH. 576 00:23:57,836 --> 00:23:58,837 HERE, LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. 577 00:23:58,837 --> 00:24:00,839 OH, NOT AT THE MOMENT, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN. 578 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:02,340 OKEY-DOKEY. 579 00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:03,841 I GIVE YOU ONE LATER. 580 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:07,845 I SOMETIMES WONDER WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THIS WAR. 581 00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,849 TRYING TO GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION. 582 00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:13,751 NEARLY THERE. 583 00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:15,754 JUST STAND IN THE MIDDLE, 584 00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:17,255 AND WATCH FOR THE GREEN LIGHT. 585 00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:18,256 ALL RIGHT? 586 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:19,757 TIME TO GO. 587 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:24,762 IT HAS BEEN WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 588 00:24:24,763 --> 00:24:27,265 IN A WAY I WISH I WAS GOING WITH YOU, 589 00:24:27,265 --> 00:24:28,766 BUT THAT WOULD NOT BE A GOOD IDEA. 590 00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:32,270 IT IS VERY GOOD OF YOU BOTH TO COME AND SEE ME OFF. 591 00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:33,771 RENE, 592 00:24:33,772 --> 00:24:35,774 WILL YOU NOT CHANGE YOUR MIND? 593 00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:38,777 I CANNOT, MY LOVE. 594 00:24:38,777 --> 00:24:41,279 I AM NOT WEARING A PARACHUTE. 595 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:42,780 I DO NOT WANT TO GET SHOT. 596 00:24:44,282 --> 00:24:46,784 MY HEART WILL BEAT IN TIME WITH YOURS, 597 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:48,787 ALTHOUGH I AM IN A FOREIGN LAND, FAR AWAY, 598 00:24:48,787 --> 00:24:50,288 WHILE YOU FIGHT FOR FREEDOM. 599 00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:53,291 OH, HOW BEAUTIFULLY PUT. 600 00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:55,793 OH, GOODBYE, RENE. 601 00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:58,296 I WILL GIVE YOUR BEST TO THE GIRLS. 602 00:24:58,296 --> 00:25:00,798 AND DO NOT FORGET-- 603 00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:02,801 HALF THE PORTRAIT OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 604 00:25:02,801 --> 00:25:04,302 WITH THE BIG BOOBS IS-- 605 00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:05,303 AARGHH! 606 00:25:06,304 --> 00:25:07,305 OOPS. 607 00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:10,809 OH, RENE, 608 00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,811 I KNEW YOU WOULD CHANGE YOUR MIND. 609 00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:15,313 YOU WERE STANDING ON MY FOOT. 610 00:25:17,816 --> 00:25:19,317 WE WILL KILL THEM 611 00:25:19,317 --> 00:25:21,819 WITH THIS CABARET NUMBER. 612 00:25:21,820 --> 00:25:25,824 NOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THE WORDS? 613 00:25:25,824 --> 00:25:28,827 ♪ I LIKE TO GO AWANDERING ♪ 614 00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:30,829 ♪ WITH A SUITCASE IN MY HAND. ♪ 615 00:25:30,829 --> 00:25:31,830 NO, NO, NO. 616 00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,832 "A KNAPSACK ON YOUR BACK." 617 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:36,334 OH, DO TRY TO GET IT RIGHT, ERNEST, 618 00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:38,336 OR IT WILL BE A DISASTER. 619 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:40,838 NOW THAT EDITH HAS GONE, 620 00:25:40,839 --> 00:25:43,341 MY CAREER IS ABOUT TO BLOSSOM. 621 00:25:44,342 --> 00:25:46,344 IF YOU GO ON WATERING IT LIKE THAT, 622 00:25:46,344 --> 00:25:47,345 IT WILL WILT. 623 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:48,846 I AM READY. 624 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:51,349 NOTHING CAN STOP 625 00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:53,851 MY BIG COMEBACK NOW. 626 00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:55,854 ( glass shattering ) 627 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,361 24 HOURS ARE UP, COLONEL. 628 00:26:03,361 --> 00:26:05,863 WE SHALL HAVE TO ARREST RENE ON SIGHT. 629 00:26:05,864 --> 00:26:06,865 I WILL LET YOU DO IT. 630 00:26:06,865 --> 00:26:08,867 IS THAT AN ORDER? 631 00:26:08,867 --> 00:26:10,869 IT IS NOW. 632 00:26:10,869 --> 00:26:13,371 ( piano intro plays ) 633 00:26:13,371 --> 00:26:15,873 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 634 00:26:15,874 --> 00:26:17,876 FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, 635 00:26:17,876 --> 00:26:20,378 I GIVE YOU "THE WANDERING YODELERS." 636 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:30,388 MY GOD, IT'S RENE. HE'S BACK! 637 00:26:30,388 --> 00:26:32,390 AND SHOWING A VERY NICE LEG. 638 00:26:32,390 --> 00:26:34,392 YOU KEEP SINGING, 639 00:26:34,392 --> 00:26:35,893 I WILL YODEL MY WAY DOWN THE BACK PASSAGE, 640 00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:37,395 AND MAKE A RUN FOR IT. 641 00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:41,399 ♪ I LOVE TO GO ♪ 642 00:26:41,399 --> 00:26:43,901 ♪ AWANDERING ♪ 643 00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:46,905 ♪ ALONG THE MOUNTAIN TRACK ♪ 644 00:26:46,905 --> 00:26:48,907 ♪ AND AS I GO ♪ 645 00:26:48,907 --> 00:26:50,408 ♪ I LOVE TO SING ♪ 646 00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:52,410 ♪ MY KNAPSACK ♪ 647 00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:53,911 ♪ ON MY BACK ♪ 648 00:26:53,912 --> 00:26:55,914 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE ♪ 649 00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:57,916 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-OO ♪ 650 00:26:57,916 --> 00:26:59,918 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE... ♪ 651 00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:01,419 AH, SO THERE'S THE PEASANT 652 00:27:01,419 --> 00:27:03,421 I RECOMMENDED FOR THE COLLABORATION MEDAL. 653 00:27:03,421 --> 00:27:05,423 I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS MISSING! 654 00:27:05,423 --> 00:27:06,424 HE WAS! 655 00:27:06,424 --> 00:27:08,426 SILENCE! 656 00:27:08,426 --> 00:27:09,927 ♪ YODEL-ODEL-- ♪ 657 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:13,431 I HAVE BAD NEWS FOR YOU. 658 00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:15,933 BERLIN DID NOT ACCEPT MY RECOMMENDATION. 659 00:27:15,934 --> 00:27:18,937 BLOWING UP A MINOR TROUBLEMAKING GENERAL BY ACCIDENT 660 00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:20,939 DOES NOT CONSTITUTE A SUFFICIENT DEGREE 661 00:27:20,939 --> 00:27:22,440 OF COLLABORATION. 662 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,442 YOU MUST TRY TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME, PEASANT. 663 00:27:24,442 --> 00:27:25,443 I WILL DO MY BEST. 664 00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:26,944 WELL, NOW THAT I'M HERE, 665 00:27:26,945 --> 00:27:29,447 I MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY A CONVIVIAL EVENING. 666 00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:30,948 CARRY ON. 667 00:27:30,949 --> 00:27:32,951 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE ♪ 668 00:27:32,951 --> 00:27:35,453 - ♪ VALDER-AA ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-AA ♪ 669 00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:36,954 - ♪ VALDER-EE ♪ - ♪ YODEL-ODEL-EE... ♪ 670 00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:38,957 ON SECOND THOUGHT, 671 00:27:38,957 --> 00:27:40,959 I WILL ENJOY A MUCH MORE CONVIVIAL EVENING 672 00:27:40,959 --> 00:27:42,460 ALONE AT MY CHATEAU. 673 00:27:42,460 --> 00:27:44,462 ♪ WITH A KNAPSACK ♪ 674 00:27:44,462 --> 00:27:46,464 ♪ ON MY BACK. ♪ 675 00:27:46,464 --> 00:27:49,967 ( theme music playing )