1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,573 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,084 OH, 3 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:20,086 YOU SEE ME ALL DRESSED UP, 4 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,587 LIKE A BALDING PENGUIN, 5 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,089 BECAUSE THIS MORNING 6 00:00:23,089 --> 00:00:25,091 I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO THE COLONEL'S OFFICE 7 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,593 TO RECEIVE A COLLABORATION MEDAL, 8 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:29,095 FROM GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN. 9 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,597 THE GENERAL IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION 10 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,099 THAT I HELPED LIEUTENANT GRUBER 11 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,101 AND THE COLONEL BLOW UP HIS RIVAL, 12 00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,103 GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN, 13 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:38,604 WITH A STICK OF DYNAMITE, 14 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,107 WHICH HE HAD PICKED UP IN MISTAKE FOR A CANDLE, 15 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,608 TO GO AND SEARCH IN MY CELLAR 16 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:44,611 FOR A BETTER QUALITY BOTTLE OF WINE. 17 00:00:44,611 --> 00:00:46,613 THERE WAS A HUGE BANG-- 18 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,114 HE LOST HIS SENSES, 19 00:00:48,114 --> 00:00:50,616 I LOST 42 CASES OF CHEAP PLONK. 20 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,120 I AM NOW A HERO TO THE GERMANS, 21 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,122 BUT IF I COLLECT THIS COLLABORATION MEDAL, 22 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,624 I WILL BE VERY UNPOPULAR IN THE VILLAGE. 23 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627 IT IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM FOR ME. 24 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:02,629 I AM CAUGHT BETWEEN THE DEVIL AND THE DEEP BLUE SEA. 25 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,632 OH, RENE, RENE, IT IS DREADFUL. 26 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,634 THE WHOLE VILLAGE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE GOING 27 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,135 TO GET A MEDAL FROM THE GERMANS. 28 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,136 OH MY GOD! 29 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:12,138 THEY WOULD NOT SERVE ME IN THE SHOPS. 30 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,640 THEY CALLED ME THE WIFE OF A COLLABORATOR. 31 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,142 LOOK, 32 00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,144 EVEN THE PIGEONS WERE OUT TO GET ME. 33 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,146 AH, MONSIEUR, 34 00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:22,148 IT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU. 35 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,650 THEY HAVE THREATENED TO BURN DOWN THE CAFE. 36 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,653 EVEN A LYNCHING HAS BEEN MENTIONED. 37 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:31,157 ALL RIGHT, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RUB IT IN. 38 00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,159 ONE MUST MAKE PREPARATIONS, MONSIEUR. 39 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,661 DO YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS 40 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,164 FOR THE WORDING ON YOUR TOMBSTONE? 41 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,665 THAT IS RIDICULOUS. 42 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,668 "THAT IS RIDIC--" 43 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,671 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT I AM NOT A COLLABORATOR! 44 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:47,674 THEY DO NOT MEAN ALL THESE THINGS THEY ARE SAYING. 45 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,175 ( everyone screams ) 46 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,676 GOOD GRIEF! 47 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:53,179 THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ME! 48 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,680 I THINK THAT WAS THE INTENTION. 49 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,182 THERE IS A NOTE ON THE BRICK. 50 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,183 WHAT DOES IT SAY? 51 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,185 "NEXT TIME OUR AIM WILL BE BETTER." 52 00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,188 OH, RENE, WHAT SHALL WE DO? 53 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,190 I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME A WIDOW. 54 00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:06,192 IT IS SO AGING. 55 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,695 CALM YOURSELF, EDITH. 56 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,197 THIS MUST BE SOME BIG MISTAKE. 57 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,201 RENE, THE POSTMAN GAVE ME A PARCEL FOR YOU. 58 00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,702 FOR ME? IS IT TICKING? 59 00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,204 NO. 60 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,706 THROW IT AWAY, MIMI. IT COULD BE ANYTHING. 61 00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:22,208 I AM NOT AFRAID. 62 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,210 I WILL OPEN IT. 63 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,714 AHHH! 64 00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:30,216 MY GOD! AN HANGMAN'S NOOSE. 65 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,718 NO, RENE, 66 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,721 IT IS THE DETACHABLE TIE I ORDERED FOR YOU. 67 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,723 IT IS IDEAL FOR SOUP STAINS. 68 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,726 SEE, YOU JUST DETACH THE TIE LIKE THIS, 69 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:42,228 AND FIX ON ONE OF THE SPARES. 70 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,230 I HAVE NO TIME FOR THAT. 71 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,232 THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL IN MY BUSINESS. 72 00:02:46,232 --> 00:02:48,234 I'M ALWAYS SPLASHING MY TIE. 73 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:49,235 THERE, THEN YOU HAVE IT. 74 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:50,736 AH! 75 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,739 OH, YVETTE! DO NOT DO THAT. WHAT IS IT? 76 00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:54,240 MICHELLE IS IN THE BACK ROOM. 77 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,242 SHE WISHES TO SPEAK TO YOU, URGENTLY. 78 00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:57,743 WHAT DOES SHE WANT NOW? 79 00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,747 MIMI, YVETTE, CLEAR UP THIS BROKEN GLASS WOULD YOU? 80 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,251 I HAVE BROUGHT THIS FOR YOU, RENE. 81 00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,752 NOT ANOTHER PARCEL. 82 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,254 WHAT IS THE MATTER? 83 00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,256 THERE ARE MONKS' OUTFITS, 84 00:03:10,256 --> 00:03:11,757 TO DISGUISE THE BRITISH AIRMEN. 85 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,259 WHAT? 86 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,261 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 87 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,763 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 88 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,766 THE LIGHT AIRCRAFT FROM LONDON 89 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:22,268 WILL BE ARRIVING SHORTLY TO PICK UP THE BRITISH AIRMEN. 90 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,270 WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS MONKS? 91 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,272 IS THAT NOT OBVIOUS? 92 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,275 THERE IS A CURFEW IN THE VILLAGE. 93 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,777 HOWEVER, THE MONKS 94 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,780 FROM THE MONASTERY OF ST. CRISPIN THE SILENT 95 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,782 HAVE PERMISSION TO BREAK THE CURFEW, 96 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,283 FOR THEIR MIDNIGHT VIGIL 97 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,785 TO CELEBRATE THE ONE OCCASION ST. CRISPIN SPOKE. 98 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,787 WHAT DID HE SAY? 99 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,288 GOODBYE. 100 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:46,292 THERE ARE THREE MONK'' COSTUMES HERE. 101 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,794 THREE? BUT THERE ARE ONLY TWO BRITISH AIRMEN. 102 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,296 THE THIRD IS FOR RENE. HE WILL ACCOMPANY 103 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,798 THE AIRMEN TO MAKE SURE THEY FIND THE RIGHT FIELD. 104 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,801 IT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION! 105 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,302 I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS AS IT IS. 106 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,804 A BRICK HAS JUST BEEN THROWN THROUGH MY WINDOW, 107 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,807 BECAUSE I AM GETTING A GERMAN COLLABORATORS METAL. 108 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,308 THEN YOU MUST NOT ACCEPT IT. 109 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,809 IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. 110 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:05,311 YOU MUST TELL EVERYBODY 111 00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,313 THAT I AM LOYAL FRIEND TO THE RESISTANCE. 112 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:08,814 WELL, IF YOU HELP THE RESISTANCE, 113 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,817 I WILL DO MY BEST TO SAVE YOUR WINDOWS. 114 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,318 AND IF I DO NOT? 115 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:14,320 EXPECT A BRICK FROM ME. 116 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,323 I DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE MUCH CHOICE. 117 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:20,326 BUT THEY WILL STILL LYNCH ME IF I GET THE COLLABORATION MEDAL. 118 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,328 AND IF I REFUSE IT, GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN 119 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:23,829 WILL IMMEDIATELY SUSPECT THAT I AM WORKING 120 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,331 FOR THE RESISTANCE AND HAVE ME SHOT. 121 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,833 EITHER WAY, MONSIEUR, YOU'RE DONE FOR. 122 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,337 WHATEVER THEY DO, YOU CAN REST ASSURED, 123 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,339 YOU WILL BE BURIED WITH FULL RESISTANCE HONORS. 124 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,841 OH, THAT IS A GREAT COMFORT. 125 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,343 WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT? 126 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:39,345 OH, RENE, MICHELLE IS RIGHT. 127 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,846 YOU MUST REFUSE THE MEDAL. 128 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,850 IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, EDITH. I AM DUE THERE ANY MINUTE. 129 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,351 WHAT GROUNDS DO I HAVE FOR-- 130 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,354 - UNLESS... - WHAT IS IT? 131 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:51,357 YES, MICHELLE HAS GIVEN ME AN IDEA. 132 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,858 IF THE RESISTANCE CANNOT HELP ME, 133 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,861 MAYBE ST. CRISPIN CAN. 134 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,364 ST. CRISPIN? 135 00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,366 OH, MONSIEUR ALPHONSE, 136 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,868 HE IS CRACKING UP ALREADY UNDER THE STRAIN. 137 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:04,871 HE HAS NOT SAID A PRAYER 138 00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,372 SINCE THE NIGHT OF OUR HONEYMOON. 139 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:10,275 I HAVE A TERRIBLE HEADACHE, GRUBER. 140 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,278 I'M TOO OLD FOR ALL THIS DRINKING. 141 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,283 COLONEL, RENE FROM THE CAFE 142 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:18,284 IS HERE FOR THE MEDAL PRESENTATION. 143 00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:20,286 OH, VERY WELL, SHOW HIM IN. 144 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,787 ( shouts ) GUARDS! 145 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,791 NOT SO LOUD, HELGA. 146 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,293 THE COLONEL HAS A HANGOVER. 147 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,795 ( quietly ) BRING HIM IN HERE. 148 00:05:36,302 --> 00:05:38,304 ( loudly ) GO AWAY! 149 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,810 RENE, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING 150 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,812 DRESSED UP AS A MONK? 151 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,313 I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU 152 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,315 I CANNOT ACCEPT THE COLLABORATION MEDAL. 153 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,317 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, RENE? 154 00:05:51,317 --> 00:05:53,819 YOU HAVE NOT REALLY BECOME A MONK, HAVE YOU? 155 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,822 I HAVE RENOUNCED MY FORMER LIFE, 156 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,824 AND I AM FORBIDDEN BY MY VOWS 157 00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,826 TO ACCEPT ANY WORLDLY GOODS, 158 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:02,829 BECAUSE I HAVE JOINED THE ORDER OF ST. CRISPIN THE SILENT. 159 00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,330 FOR A SILENT MONK, 160 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,832 YOU'RE DOING AN AWFUL LOT OF TALKING. 161 00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,334 I AM ONLY A NOVICE. 162 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:10,836 BUT I AM THINKING OF GIVING MY LIFE TO THE CAUSE. 163 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,839 A VOICE HAS WHISPERED IN MY EAR 164 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,841 THAT I SHOULD LIVE APART FROM SOCIETY, 165 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,342 WITH OTHER MEN OF THE SAME PERSUASION. 166 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,348 YES, I CAN SEE THAT 167 00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:24,350 MIGHT HAVE ITS ATTRACTIONS. 168 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,852 BUT SURELY THIS IS A BIT DRASTIC? 169 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,855 IT IS THE ONLY WAY. 170 00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:32,358 AND IS THIS ROUGH CLOTH NOT UNCOMFORTABLE? 171 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:35,361 THERE ARE NO COMFORTS IN THE MONASTERY, LIEUTENANT. 172 00:06:35,361 --> 00:06:37,863 I AM ALREADY LATE FOR SCOURGING. 173 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,867 I'M NOT SURE THAT BECOMING A MONK, RENE, 174 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,369 IS ADEQUATE EXCUSE FOR REFUSING A MEDAL. 175 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:46,372 PLEASE, COLONEL, IF I GET THAT MEDAL, 176 00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:48,374 NOT ONLY WILL I BREAK MY VOWS, 177 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,376 BUT THE PEOPLE OF NOUVION WILL ASSASSINATE ME 178 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:51,377 AS A COLLABORATOR. 179 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:52,878 - NO! - YES! 180 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,380 THERE HAVE BEEN THREATS ALREADY. 181 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,883 COLONEL, PERHAPS WE SHOULD RECONSIDER THIS. 182 00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,386 AFTER ALL, RENE HAS DONE US MANY FAVORS. 183 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:01,887 DO NOT MENTION THAT. 184 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:03,389 THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN DO. 185 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,392 THEY WILL BURN DOWN MY CAFE, AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE 186 00:07:06,392 --> 00:07:08,394 NOWHERE TO GO FOR ENTERTAINMENT IN THE EVENINGS. 187 00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,896 NO MORE FUN WITH THE GIRLS, 188 00:07:10,897 --> 00:07:12,398 NO MORE WET CELERY. 189 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,902 WHAT ABOUT THE EGG WHISK? 190 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,908 YOU ARE RIGHT, GRUBER. THIS IS SERIOUS. 191 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:25,912 WE MUST THINK OF A WAY TO GET GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN 192 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,914 TO CHANGE HIS MIND ABOUT THE MEDAL. 193 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,417 LIE LOW FOR A WHILE, RENE. 194 00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:33,919 IF MONASTERY LIFE BECOMES TOO HARD, 195 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,422 YOU CAN COME AND STAY IN MY ROOM AT THE CHATEAU. 196 00:07:38,424 --> 00:07:39,925 THANK YOU, LIEUTENANT. 197 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,428 LET US HOPE IT DOES NOT COME TO THAT. 198 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:46,932 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN IS HERE, COLONEL. 199 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,936 PLEASE, LIEUTENANT, DO NOT EXPOSE ME. 200 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,938 I MUST NOT RECEIVE THAT MEDAL. 201 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,439 DO NOT WORRY, RENE, LEAVE THIS TO ME. 202 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:57,943 - HEIL HITLER. - HEIL HITLER. 203 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,447 WHO IS THE OLD MAN IN THE DRESSING GOWN? 204 00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:05,951 HE IS A MONK, GENERAL, 205 00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:10,456 COLLECTING FOR THE LOCAL MONASTERY RESTORATION FUND. 206 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:11,957 WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE SOMETHING? 207 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:14,460 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, GRUBER. 208 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,462 THE GERMAN ARMY DOESN'T GIVE TO THE CHURCH, 209 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,463 IT TAKES FROM IT. 210 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,469 YOU FACE IS FAMILIAR. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 211 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:25,971 HE'S A SILENT MONK, HE CANNOT SPEAK. 212 00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,976 GET OUT! 213 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,979 OUT! 214 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,482 WE ARE RUNNING A WAR HERE, NOT A CHARITY! 215 00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:37,983 YES, GENERAL. 216 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:41,487 GOOD GOD, COLONEL, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS ROOM? 217 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,489 WHAT IS THIS GHASTLY CARPET 218 00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,490 AND THESE AWFUL PICTURES? 219 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:46,992 IT WAS GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN'S IDEA. 220 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,996 IT LOOKS LIKE A BORDELLO. 221 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,498 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, BUT I COULDN'T SAY SO. 222 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:56,001 GRUBER CHOSE THE PAINTINGS, 223 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,503 AND THE COLOR OF THE CARPET. 224 00:08:57,503 --> 00:09:00,506 HE WAS VERY CRAWLY. 225 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,008 I WAS ONLY ACTING UNDER ORDERS. 226 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:04,510 HMM. 227 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:06,512 NOW, WHERE IS THE BRAVE FRENCH PEASANT 228 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:08,514 WHO IS TO RECEIVE THE COLLABORATION MEDAL? 229 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:12,518 I AM AFRAID HE IS NOT WELL ENOUGH TO ATTEND. 230 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:15,521 THE EXPLOSION WHICH BLEW UP GENERAL VON FLOCKENSTUFFEN, 231 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,523 LEFT HIM IN RATHER A BAD STATE OF SHOCK. 232 00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,025 PERHAPS IT'S AS WELL HE IS NOT HERE AT PRESENT. 233 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:22,028 I HAVEN'T YET RECEIVED PERMISSION FROM BERLIN 234 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,529 TO GIVE THE AWARD. 235 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,030 BUT I AM EXPECTING AUTHORIZATION ANY MOMENT. 236 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:27,033 OKAY, I'M BACK. 237 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,536 YOU MUST ALL BE GLAD TO SEE ME, NO? 238 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,038 ALL: NO. 239 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,041 I HAD THE VERY TOUGH TIME IN THE HOSPITAL. 240 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,543 IT IS NO EASY PLAYING THE FRUITCAKE, YOU KNOW. 241 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:39,545 IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU. 242 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,047 SO WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GENERAL 243 00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,549 FLOCKEN-WHAT'S-HIS-NAME? 244 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,050 STUFFEN. 245 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,553 WAS HE? 246 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:48,554 THAT'S TOUGH LUCK. 247 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,556 NOW THAT I AM BACK IN CHARGE, 248 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:52,558 I WANT ONE THING TO BE ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. 249 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,060 WE ARE NOT ON HOLIDAY HERE. 250 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,563 I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLACKING. 251 00:09:57,563 --> 00:09:58,564 IT THAT CLEAR? 252 00:09:58,564 --> 00:09:59,565 YES, GENERAL. 253 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,066 GOOD. 254 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,568 COLONEL, GET THIS ROOM REDECORATED, 255 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,069 AND THIS TIME, YOU CHOOSE THE COLORS. 256 00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,572 I'LL MAKE IT LOOK VERY MANLY. 257 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:11,076 - HEIL HITLER. - HEIL HITLER. 258 00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:13,079 HEIL MUSSOLINI. 259 00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:18,584 THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR DROPPING ME IN IT. 260 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,587 IT WAS A PLEASURE. 261 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,055 ( knocking ) 262 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:25,057 SEE WHO IT IS, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 263 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:27,059 IF THEY ARE SELLING ANYTHING, 264 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:29,561 TELL THEM TO GO AWAY OR WE WILL HAVE THEM SHOT. 265 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,063 YES, HERR FLICK. 266 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:35,568 IT IS HELGA. 267 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,570 I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOME INTELLIGENCE, HERR FLICK. 268 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,572 AND WHAT IS THIS INTELLIGENCE? 269 00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:42,074 THE OWNER OF THE CAFE IN THE SQUARE, RENE ARTOIS, 270 00:10:42,074 --> 00:10:43,575 HAS BECOME A MONK, 271 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:46,579 AND HAS JOINED THE HOLY ORDER OF ST. CRISPIN THE SILENT. 272 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,581 THIS IS MOST INTERESTING, HELGA. 273 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,082 NOW, 274 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:52,084 WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? 275 00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:54,086 I HAVE AN IDEA. 276 00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:56,088 I HOPE IT IS A SENSIBLE IDEA. 277 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,091 PERHAPS HE HAS TIRED OF THE MATERIAL WORLD, 278 00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:00,592 AND WISHES TO FIND SOLACE 279 00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,095 IN THE SIMPLE LIFE OF BEADS AND EMBROIDERY? 280 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,597 THE PEACE AND TRANQUILITY OF THE MONASTERY, 281 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:08,601 BIRDS SINGING, MATINS BEING SUNG, 282 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:12,605 THE SOFT TAPPING OF SANDALS IN THE CLOISTERS. 283 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,107 THAT IS ONE OF THE LONGEST IDEAS 284 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:17,609 I HAVE EVER HEARD. 285 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:21,113 YOU ARE A NINCOMPOOP, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 286 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:22,614 BUT IS IT NOT POSSIBLE, HERR FLICK? 287 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:26,118 WE ARE ALL FAMILIAR WITH RENE ARTOIS. 288 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:29,621 I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT A MAN WITH HIS EARTHY APPETITES 289 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,124 WOULD WILLINGLY GO INTO A MONASTERY 290 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:34,126 WHERE THE MONKS FAST REGULARLY, 291 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:35,627 WEAR VERY ITCHY CLOTHES 292 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,631 AND ARE PERMANENTLY DEPRIVED OF NOOKY. 293 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:42,635 PARTICULARLY AS RENE ARTOIS LIKES A BIT OF HANKY-PANKY 294 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,136 WITH HIS TWO WAITRESSES. 295 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:45,637 BOTH OF THEM? 296 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,642 HE IS NOT KNOWN AS "MENAGE ARTOIS" FOR NOTHING. 297 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,648 MY KEEN ANALYTICAL MIND TELLS ME THAT THIS 298 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,151 HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE BRITISH AIRMEN. 299 00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:01,653 YOU COULD BE RIGHT, HERR FLICK. 300 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,656 WHAT BETTER PLACE TO HIDE THEM 301 00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,157 THAN IN A MONASTERY 302 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,659 WHERE THEY CAN MINGLE, UNNOTICED, WITH THE MONKS? 303 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,161 VON SMALLHAUSEN, 304 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:12,164 YOU WILL ACQUIRE FOR US TWO MONKS' OUTFITS. 305 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,166 ONE MEDIUM SIZED ONE FOR ME, 306 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,168 ONE MIDGET SIZED ONE FOR YOU. 307 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,170 WE WILL ENTER THE MONASTERY 308 00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,172 AND SNIFF AROUND. 309 00:12:20,172 --> 00:12:22,174 HERR FLICK, IF YOU GO INTO THE MONASTERY, 310 00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:24,676 WILL YOU NOT TOO BE ON SHORT RATIONS 311 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,178 AS FAR AS NOOKY IS CONCERNED? 312 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,180 YOU ARE RIGHT, HELGA. 313 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,182 IF I AM TO RENOUNCE THESE PLEASURES, 314 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,684 WE HAD BETTER HAVE A FINAL SNOG NOW. 315 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,186 WON'T I BE ON 316 00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:36,188 SHORT RATIONS TOO, HERR FLICK? 317 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,690 OWING TO YOUR SIZE, VON SMALLHAUSEN, 318 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,694 YOU ARE ALWAYS ON SHORT RATIONS. 319 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:42,695 GO BEHIND THE SCREEN. 320 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,699 AND NO PEEPING! 321 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,203 YOU MAY KISS ME NOW, HELGA. 322 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,710 I SAID NO PEEPING. 323 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,715 ( hammering ) 324 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,716 - RENE! - AH! 325 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,217 IT IS ME, LOUISE. 326 00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:06,218 DO NOT DO THAT. 327 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:08,220 I HAVE HAD ENOUGH SHOCKS ALREADY TODAY. 328 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,722 OH, RENE, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 329 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,224 HOLD ME. 330 00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:15,227 OH, MY DEAR, I NEED ALL THE FRIENDS I CAN GET. 331 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:21,233 WHAT IS THAT I FEEL BETWEEN US? 332 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:27,740 OH, IT'S ONLY MY PISTOL AND A COUPLE OF HAND GRENADES. 333 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,742 THAT IS A RELIEF. 334 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,244 OH, RENE. 335 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:35,247 IT IS SUCH A PITY WE HAVE TO PART THIS WAY. 336 00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,748 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 337 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,250 YOU ARE A COLLABORATOR. 338 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:39,751 THE GERMANS ARE GIVING YOU A MEDAL. 339 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,253 THE GIRLS OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE 340 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,755 HAVE DRAWN STRAWS TO DECIDE WHO SHOULD EXECUTE YOU. 341 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:46,759 EXECUTE ME? BUT I HAVE NOT YET RECEIVED THAT MEDAL! 342 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,261 THE SENTENCE HAS BEEN PASSED, RENE. 343 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:50,262 I MUST DO IT. 344 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,764 OH, YOU CANNOT JUST SHOOT ME HERE. 345 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:56,268 I WILL DROP DOWN AND RUIN MY COBBLES. 346 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,270 CAN YOU NOT JUST LET ME OFF? 347 00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,772 IT IS TERRIBLE FOR ME TOO, RENE. 348 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,775 I SHALL KILL MYSELF IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS. 349 00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:05,277 WELL, THAT IS NO CONSOLATION FOR ME. 350 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,779 PLEASE, I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU, DENISE. 351 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,783 - LOUISE. - LOUISE, SORRY. 352 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,285 NO, NO, NO. FOR THE SAKE OF THE PAST, SPARE ME. 353 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:15,287 OH, RENE. 354 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,289 MY LOVE FOR YOU IS TOO STRONG. 355 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,291 I WILL GIVE YOU 24 HOURS TO LEAVE TOWN. 356 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,792 THEN I WILL COME AFTER YOU. 357 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:24,296 WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING. 358 00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:25,797 GOODBYE, RENE. 359 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,299 AND GOOD LUCK. 360 00:14:30,302 --> 00:14:33,305 THESE THREATS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME. 361 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,809 RENE, YOU ARE TREMBLING. 362 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,311 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 363 00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,313 LOUISE OF THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE 364 00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:43,815 HAS GIVEN ME 24 HOURS TO LEAVE TOWN, 365 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,818 AND THEN SHE IS GOING TO SHOOT ME. 366 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,819 OH, RENE, NO! 367 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,322 AH, YVETTE, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A COMFORT. 368 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:53,825 THE WORLD SEEMS TO BE GUNNING FOR ME. 369 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,829 MY HEART IS POUNDING WITH WORRY. 370 00:14:56,829 --> 00:15:00,332 AND MINE IS POUNDING IN SYMPATHY. 371 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,334 FEEL IT. 372 00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,339 I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT. 373 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:09,341 OH, RENE, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 374 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,342 I DO NOT KNOW. 375 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:13,345 IF ONLY WE COULD FLEE TO ENGLAND IN THAT PLANE 376 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,347 IN PLACE OF THE BRITISH AIRMEN TONIGHT. 377 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,849 YVETTE, I WOULD NEED AN OVERPOWERING REASON 378 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,351 TO DOUBLE-CROSS THE RESISTANCE 379 00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:20,852 AND LEAVE THE AIRMEN BEHIND. 380 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,854 BUT IF YOU DO NOT ESCAPE, 381 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,355 YOU WILL BE SHOT. 382 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,857 THAT IS AN OVERPOWERING REASON. 383 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,359 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 384 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:28,860 I WILL THINK OF SOMETHING. 385 00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:29,862 IN THE MEANTIME, 386 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,864 WE MUST GET AN EXTRA MONK'S COSTUME 387 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:33,866 FOR YOU TO AVOID THE CURFEW. 388 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,868 WHERE AM I GOING TO GET THAT? 389 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,370 GO TO THE POLICE STATION, ASK OFFICER CRABTREE 390 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,371 TO CONTACT MICHELLE 391 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:40,872 AND GET AN EXTRA ONE FROM HER. 392 00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,374 BUT WHAT EXCUSE SHALL I GIVE? 393 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:45,377 SAY THE ONE MICHELLE GAVE ME WAS TOO SMALL. 394 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:48,880 OH, RENE, YOU ARE SO CLEVER. 395 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,887 RENE! 396 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,889 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOLDING 397 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,390 THAT SERVANT GIRL IN YOUR ARMS? 398 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,393 YOU STUPID WOMAN! 399 00:16:01,393 --> 00:16:03,395 CAN YOU NOT SEE? 400 00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:05,397 THIS POOR CHILD IS DISTRESSED 401 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:07,399 BECAUSE OF ALL THE THREATS I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING 402 00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,401 AND THE WAY THAT THEY WORRY MY BELOVED WIFE. 403 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:11,903 THAT IS YOU, EDITH. 404 00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,407 NOW, THERE, THERE, CHILD. 405 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:17,909 GO ON, GO AND LIE DOWN IN A DARKENED ROOM. 406 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,913 OH, WHAT LOYALTY. 407 00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,916 FORGIVE ME, RENE, I AM NOT MYSELF. 408 00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,919 ALL THESE THREATS HAVE MADE ME WOBBLY ALL OVER. 409 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,921 - HOLD ME TIGHT. - AH! 410 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:31,423 IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY OF SAVING YOU. 411 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:32,424 THERE IS. 412 00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:33,925 I AM GOING TO ENGLAND TONIGHT 413 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:34,927 WITH THE AIRMEN. 414 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,930 OH, RENE, TO ENGLAND? 415 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,932 IT IS THE ONLY SOLUTION. 416 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,934 YOU ARE RIGHT. I WILL COME WITH YOU. 417 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:44,436 WHAT? 418 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,438 MY PLACE IS BY YOUR SIDE. 419 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,440 NOW, NOW, EDITH, DO NOT BE HASTY. 420 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,441 NO, NO, YOU MUST-- 421 00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:51,443 YOU MUST STAY HERE AND LOOK AFTER THE CAFE, 422 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:52,944 UNTIL THE WAR IS OVER. 423 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:55,447 YOU MUST STAY HERE AND KEEP THE BUSINESS GOING. 424 00:16:55,447 --> 00:17:00,452 OF COURSE I WILL. YOU CAN RELY ON ME. 425 00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:03,955 RENE, THIS MAY BE OUR LAST EVENING TOGETHER 426 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,958 FOR GOODNESS KNOWS HOW LONG. 427 00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,460 SHOULD WE NOT MAKE IT AN OCCASION TO REMEMBER? 428 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,965 THAT IS A NICE THOUGHT, EDITH, 429 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,467 BUT IF I AM GOING TO BE A MONK TONIGHT, 430 00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:19,471 I HAD BETTER GET INTO THE HABIT. 431 00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:21,973 I WILL JUST GO AND PRACTICE 432 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,976 SCOURGING MYSELF. 433 00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:29,248 ( sheep bleating ) 434 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:35,253 Flick: THIS MUST BE IT. 435 00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,758 Smallhausen: WHAT DOES THE SIGN SAY? 436 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:43,762 "THE HOLY ORDER OF ST. CRISPIN THE SILENT. 437 00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:47,265 IF YOU ARE TIRED OF SIN, COME INSIDE." 438 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:50,269 AND WHAT HAS SOMEONE SCRAWLED UNDERNEATH? 439 00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:52,271 "IF YOU ARE NOT TIRED OF SIN, 440 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:56,275 PHONE NOUVION 346, AND ASK FOR BETTY." 441 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:58,277 PUT ALL THOUGHT OF SIN 442 00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:00,779 FROM YOUR MIND, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 443 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,781 WE MUST ACT THE PART OF MONKS. 444 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,283 ( bell rings ) 445 00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,785 YES, HERR FLICK. 446 00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,286 DO NOT CALL ME HERR FLICK. 447 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,289 I AM BROTHER OTTO NOW. 448 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:17,796 AH, GOOD DAY, BROTHERS. 449 00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:18,797 YOU ARE WELCOME. 450 00:18:18,797 --> 00:18:22,801 AND WHAT BRINGS YOU TO OUR MONASTERY? 451 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,303 I THOUGHT THIS WAS A SILENT ORDER? 452 00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,307 WE ARE SILENT BETWEEN THE BELLS OF 6:00 AND 12:00. 453 00:18:28,307 --> 00:18:32,311 WE ARE TRAVELING MONKS WHO HAVE TIRED OF THE ROAD, 454 00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:34,313 AND WE WISH TO FIND SOLITUDE IN YOUR ORDER. 455 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:38,317 FIRST, YOU MUST AGREE TO ABIDE BY THE RULES 456 00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,319 OF THE MONASTERY, AND TO FOLLOW, 457 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:41,820 AT ALL TIMES, 458 00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,322 THE VOWS OF POVERTY, CHASTITY, 459 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,325 OBEDIENCE AND SILENCE-- 460 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:47,326 BETWEEN THE BELLS. 461 00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,328 WE AGREE. 462 00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:50,829 VERY WELL. 463 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:53,331 HAVE YOU ANY MONEY 464 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:54,833 OR WORLDLY GOODS ON YOU? 465 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,335 A FEW COINS, THAT IS ALL. 466 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,337 HAND THEM OVER. 467 00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:07,346 AND YOUR SPECTACLES. 468 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,847 OUR SPECTACLES? 469 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:11,349 THEY ARE WORLDLY FRIPPERIES, 470 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,852 UNBECOMING IN MEN OF GOD. 471 00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:15,854 BUT I CANNOT SEE WITHOUT THEM. 472 00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,355 ST. CRISPIN WILL GUIDE YOU. 473 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:26,365 ( glasses shatter ) 474 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:35,874 YOU MUST HAVE YOUR HEADS SHAVED TOO. 475 00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,376 WE HAVE ALREADY SHAVED THEM. 476 00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:40,879 COMPLETELY. 477 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:44,382 EVERY HAIR ON THE BODY MUST BE REMOVED 478 00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:47,886 SO YOU ARE TRULY NAKED BEFORE YOUR MAKER. 479 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:51,389 THE MONASTERY BARBER, BROTHER SWEENY, 480 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,892 WILL ATTEND TO YOU. 481 00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,894 BUT FIRST, A LITTLE REFRESHMENT 482 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,395 AFTER YOUR JOURNEY. 483 00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:58,897 GOOD, I'M PECKISH. 484 00:19:58,897 --> 00:20:01,900 YOUR RATION IS A SLICE OF BREAD 485 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,401 AND A PIECE OF CHEESE. 486 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:04,403 PER MEAL? 487 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,904 PER DAY. WE DO NOT BELIEVE 488 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,906 IN PAMPERING THE BODY. 489 00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,908 ( bell tolls ) 490 00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:11,910 YOU HAVE ARRIVED JUST IN TIME. 491 00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:14,913 IT IS THE HOUR OF SCOURGING. 492 00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:17,916 ( bell jingles ) 493 00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:21,920 ALL MONKS MUST DISCIPLINE THEMSELVES ONCE A DAY. 494 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,922 GIVE ME THE WHIP, FATHER, 495 00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:24,923 WE WILL DO IT LATER. 496 00:20:24,923 --> 00:20:27,425 NO, IN HONOR OF YOUR ARRIVAL, 497 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:30,429 ON THIS OCCASION, I WILL DO IT FOR YOU. 498 00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:33,432 TAKE THEM TO THE SCOURGING ROOM. 499 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,440 THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA, VON SMALLHAUSEN. 500 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,879 OH, RENE, 501 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,881 JUST THINK, IN A FEW HOURS, 502 00:20:49,881 --> 00:20:51,883 WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR ALL TIME. 503 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:52,884 AH, YVETTE. 504 00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:55,386 ( footsteps approach ) SOMEBODY IS COMING. 505 00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,889 GOOD MOANING. 506 00:20:57,889 --> 00:20:58,890 OH, IT IS YOU. 507 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,892 WHAT WERE YOU DOING UPSTAIRS? 508 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,393 I HAVE JUST DELOOVERED 509 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,896 THE EXTRA MINK'S DISGEESE FOR YOU. 510 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:07,398 IT IS BOGGER THAN THE ITHER ONE. 511 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,401 WHERE HAVE YOU PUT IT? 512 00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:11,903 UNDER THE BOD OF YOUR MITHER-IN-LOW, 513 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:13,404 WHERE NO ONE WILL FOND IT. 514 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:14,906 GOOD. 515 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,407 WEIR ARE THE EARMEN? 516 00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:17,409 THEY ARE IN THE KITCHEN. 517 00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:18,910 TICK ME TO THEM. 518 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:20,912 I MUST GIVE THEM A MASSAGE FROM MICHELLE. 519 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,917 I SAY, CARSTAIRS, 520 00:21:25,917 --> 00:21:27,418 YOU DON'T SUPPOSE WE OVERDID 521 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:29,921 THE STARCH A BIT, DO YOU? 522 00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:33,925 HELLO, CHAPS. 523 00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:34,926 Both: HELLO. 524 00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:35,927 HOW'S IT ALL GOING? 525 00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,428 NOT VERY WELL. 526 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:39,931 I JUST CAN'T GET THESE STAINS SHIFTED. 527 00:21:39,931 --> 00:21:42,934 LISTEN, CHAPS, THIS IS THE PLAN. 528 00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:45,436 THERE'S A PLANE COMING OVER FROM BLIGHTY TONIGHT. 529 00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:48,440 YOU'LL BE DISGUISED AS MONKS TO GET YOU OUT OF THE VILLAGE, 530 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,941 AND THE PLANE WILL PICK YOU UP 531 00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:51,943 IN A FIELD AT EXACTLY MIDNIGHT. 532 00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:53,945 HOW WILL WE FIND THE FIELD? 533 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:54,946 RENE, HERE, 534 00:21:54,946 --> 00:21:56,948 WILL BE IN THE PROCESSION OF MONKS WITH YOU. 535 00:21:56,948 --> 00:21:58,449 HE WILL SHOW YOU THE FIELD. 536 00:21:58,450 --> 00:22:00,452 RIGHT-O, GOOD SHOW. 537 00:22:00,452 --> 00:22:01,953 BUT IN CASE YOU GET SEPARATED, 538 00:22:01,953 --> 00:22:03,955 AT ABOUT A QUARTER TO MIDNIGHT, 539 00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:07,959 THE PROCESSION SHOULD PASS A FOOTPATH BY A WAYSIDE SHRINE. 540 00:22:07,959 --> 00:22:09,961 TAKE THAT PATH, AND IT WILL LEAD YOU TO THE RENDEZVOUS. 541 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:11,963 OH, SPLENDID. 542 00:22:11,963 --> 00:22:15,466 RIGHT, LET'S SYNCHRONIZE WATCHES. 543 00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:18,470 IT IS EXACTLY 4:30-- 544 00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:19,471 NOW. 545 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:20,472 GOT IT. 546 00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,973 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 547 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:24,976 WE ARE JUST SONCHRONOOZING WITCHES. 548 00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,980 YOU WILL LEAVE THE PROCESSION OF MINKS 549 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:31,482 AT 11 FARTY-FIVE, 550 00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:33,985 AND TIK THE EARMEN TO THE FOLD. 551 00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,487 I AM JUST GIVING THEM THE TEAMS, 552 00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:38,490 SO IF SOMETHING HIPPENS TO YOU, 553 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:39,991 THEY CAN GO ALOON. 554 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,993 WELL, TELL THEM I WANT THOSE SHEETS 555 00:22:41,993 --> 00:22:43,494 HUNG OUT BEFORE WE GO. 556 00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:46,498 HE WANT THE SHEETS OUT ON THE LINE, CHAPS. 557 00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:47,499 WILCO. 558 00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:49,501 GIVE ME A HAND, WILL YOU, FAIRFAX? 559 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:52,504 I KEEP GETTING THINGS CAUGHT IN THE MANGLE. 560 00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:57,008 I WILL GOO OUT THE BICK WAY, TOO. 561 00:22:57,008 --> 00:22:59,510 GOOD LICK TOONIT, RONNIE. 562 00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,514 HOW ARE WE GOING TO PREVENT THE AIRMEN 563 00:23:02,514 --> 00:23:05,016 GETTING TO THE AIRCRAFT BEFORE US? 564 00:23:05,016 --> 00:23:06,517 I KNOW. 565 00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:09,521 I WILL PUT THE AIRMEN'S WATCH BACK BY 10 MINUTES. 566 00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:10,522 THAT SHOULD CONFUSE THEM, 567 00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,524 AND THEY WILL MISS THE PATH TO THE FIELD. 568 00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,527 OH, YVETTE, THAT IS WICKED, WICKED! 569 00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:17,028 BETTER PUT IT BACK BY 20 MINUTES, 570 00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:18,529 TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE. 571 00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:21,032 THAT'S IT. NOW-- 572 00:23:21,032 --> 00:23:23,034 YOU GO UPSTAIRS TO THE ATTIC, 573 00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:25,036 AND COLLECT THE MONK'S COSTUME 574 00:23:25,036 --> 00:23:27,038 AFTER I HAVE GONE WITH THE AIRMEN. 575 00:23:27,038 --> 00:23:28,039 THEN RUN LIKE HELL 576 00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:30,041 AND JOIN ME AT THE BACK OF THE PROCESSION. 577 00:23:30,041 --> 00:23:31,542 OH, RENE, 578 00:23:31,543 --> 00:23:33,044 ISN'T THIS EXCITING? 579 00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:35,046 OH, I KNOW, I KNOW. 580 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:37,048 JUST THINK, 581 00:23:37,048 --> 00:23:40,051 AT MIDNIGHT, WE SHOULD BE FLYING TO ENGLAND. 582 00:23:40,051 --> 00:23:44,055 AND BY DAWN, PERHAPS WE WILL BE IN HEAVEN. 583 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:48,059 OR AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ENGLISH CHANNEL. 584 00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:52,563 HERE IS YOUR SUPPER, MAMMA. 585 00:23:52,564 --> 00:23:54,065 OH, EDITH, 586 00:23:54,065 --> 00:23:56,067 SOMETHING FUNNY IS GOING ON. 587 00:23:56,067 --> 00:23:58,569 WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY NIGHTCAP? 588 00:23:59,571 --> 00:24:02,574 NEVER MIND, MAMMA. IT IS THE STARCH. 589 00:24:02,574 --> 00:24:04,576 IT COULD BE USEFUL IF THERE IS AN AIR RAID. 590 00:24:04,576 --> 00:24:07,078 WHO IS DOING THE LAUNDRY? 591 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:09,580 THE BRITISH AIRMEN. RENE HAS PUT THEM TO WORK. 592 00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:12,083 BUT LOOK AT MY NIGHTDRESS. 593 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:16,588 EVERYTHING IS SO STIFF. 594 00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:18,590 DID SOMEONE CALL? 595 00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:22,093 OH, MAMMA, SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED. 596 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:24,095 RENE IS HAVING TO FLEE TO ENGLAND, 597 00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:26,097 BECAUSE EVERYBODY THINKS HE IS A COLLABORATOR. 598 00:24:26,097 --> 00:24:27,598 AND ARE YOU NOT GOING TOO? 599 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:30,101 IT IS NOT POSSIBLE, MAMMA. 600 00:24:30,101 --> 00:24:31,602 IN ORDER TO AVOID THE CURFEW, 601 00:24:31,603 --> 00:24:33,104 I WOULD HAVE TO DRESS AS A MONK, 602 00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:34,105 AND I HAVE NO COSTUME. 603 00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:36,607 BUT THERE IS A MONK'S COSTUME 604 00:24:36,608 --> 00:24:38,610 UNDER MY BED. 605 00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:39,611 WHAT? 606 00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:41,613 IT WAS LEFT THERE BY THAT POLICEMAN 607 00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:43,615 WHO SPEAKS-- YOU KNOW, 608 00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:44,616 THE GOBBLEDY-GOOK. 609 00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:47,619 BUT RENE AND THE AIRMEN HAVE ALREADY LEFT. 610 00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:49,621 WELL, GO QUICKLY, MY CHILD. 611 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:52,123 I WILL TAKE CHARGE OF THE CAFE. 612 00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:56,127 OH, MAMMA, YOU ARE SO GOOD. 613 00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:58,629 BUT I WILL HAVE TO HURRY, IF I AM TO CATCH THEM. 614 00:24:58,630 --> 00:24:59,631 AH, EDITH? 615 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,133 YOU HAVE NOT LEFT ME THE KEYS 616 00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,634 TO THE DRINKS CUPBOARD. 617 00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:06,638 OH, OF COURSE. HERE YOU ARE. 618 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:09,140 GOODBYE, MAMMA. 619 00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:10,641 I SHALL NOT BE LONG. 620 00:25:10,642 --> 00:25:13,144 JUST TILL THE END OF THE WAR. 621 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,645 OH, AND EDITH? 622 00:25:14,646 --> 00:25:17,649 WHEN YOU GET TO ENGLAND, TELL THAT CHURCHILL 623 00:25:17,649 --> 00:25:19,150 TO GET HIS FINGER OUT. 624 00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,156 ERNEST? 625 00:25:25,156 --> 00:25:26,657 WHAT IS IT, FANNY? 626 00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:30,662 EDITH HAS LEFT US IN CHARGE OF THE CAFE. 627 00:25:30,662 --> 00:25:34,165 AND WE HAVE THE KEYS TO THE DRINKS CUPBOARD. 628 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:36,667 OH! THAT IS THE BEST NEWS WE HAVE HAD YET. 629 00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:37,669 ( knocking ) 630 00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:41,172 EXCUSE ME, MADAME FANNY, 631 00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,673 W-W-WHAT IS IT? 632 00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:44,676 HAVE YOU SEEN A MONK'S COSTUME UNDER HERE? 633 00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:47,178 YES, EDITH HAS JUST TAKEN IT. 634 00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:48,679 SHE IS GOING TO ENGLAND. 635 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,683 OH MY GOD! 636 00:25:51,683 --> 00:25:52,684 OH! 637 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:54,686 NOW THE KNOB HAS COME OFF. 638 00:25:54,686 --> 00:25:56,688 DID SOMEONE CALL? 639 00:26:21,546 --> 00:26:23,047 I SAY, CARSTAIRS, 640 00:26:23,048 --> 00:26:25,550 ISN'T THAT THE HOLY SHRINE OVER THERE? 641 00:26:25,550 --> 00:26:27,051 CAN'T BE. 642 00:26:27,052 --> 00:26:30,055 THE CAFE CHAPPIE HASN'T GIVEN US THE NOD YET. 643 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:32,057 WHAT TIME IS IT? 644 00:26:32,057 --> 00:26:33,558 25 PAST 11:00. 645 00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:35,059 THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THEN. 646 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:37,562 CRABTREE SAID QUARTER TO 12:00. 647 00:26:37,562 --> 00:26:39,564 THERE MUST BE ANOTHER SHRINE FURTHER ON. 648 00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,566 RIGHT-O. 649 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:45,070 COME ON, THIS IS IT. 650 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:47,072 NOT A WORD. 651 00:26:52,577 --> 00:26:54,579 ( airplane engine humming ) 652 00:26:54,579 --> 00:26:56,080 LISTEN. 653 00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:01,586 IT IS AN AIRPLANE. 654 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:04,589 RIGHT, GIRLS, START PEDALING. 655 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:13,097 FASTER, GIRLS, FASTER. 656 00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:18,103 THERE, THERE, LOOK! 657 00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:28,613 FAIRFAX? CARSTAIRS? 658 00:27:28,613 --> 00:27:30,615 QUICKLY, CHAPS, IN YOU COME. 659 00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:55,139 MY DARLING, AT LAST WE ARE SAFE. 660 00:27:56,641 --> 00:27:58,142 OH, RENE, 661 00:28:01,146 --> 00:28:03,148 I AM WITH YOU. DO NOT WORRY. 662 00:28:03,148 --> 00:28:06,651 I COULD NOT LEAVE YOU IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED. 663 00:28:07,652 --> 00:28:09,654 HAVE YOU NOTHING TO SAY? 664 00:28:09,654 --> 00:28:13,658 I AM AFRAID IT IS MY TIME OF SILENCE. 665 00:28:14,659 --> 00:28:18,663 BUT I AM CERTAINLY DOING A LOT OF THINKING. 666 00:28:18,663 --> 00:28:20,665 ( theme music playing )