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00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,071
( theme music playing )
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♪ EVERY LITTLE BREEZE
SEEMS TO WHISPER LOUISE... ♪
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( spits )
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♪ BIRDS IN THE TREES
SEEM TO WHITTER LOUISE ♪
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♪ EACH LITTLE-- ♪
AH!
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I AM SINGING AN HAPPY SONG,
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BECAUSE I AM AN HAPPY MAN.
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THE TWO AIRMEN ARE NOW
IN THE MORTUARY,
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00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,614
THE MORTUARY OF MONSIEUR
ALPHONSE, THE UNDERTAKER.
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THEY ARE NOT DEAD, NO,
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THEY ARE WAITING
TO TUNNEL
12
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INTO THE BRITISH PRISONER
OF WAR CAMP ACROSS THE ROAD.
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SO, I HAVE SEEN
THE LAST OF THEM.
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THE PORTRAIT
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
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WITH THE BIG YOU-KNOW-WHATS
IS IN THE OFFICE OF THE COLONEL,
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00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,632
AND GOOD RIDDANCE TO IT.
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I CAN NOW DEAL WITH
THE NORMAL EVERYDAY PROBLEMS
18
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,637
OF RUNNING MY CAFE.
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THESE PROBLEMS ARE:
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ONE, TO PREVENT MARIA
FROM KNOWING
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THAT I AM HAVING
AN AFFAIR WITH YVETTE;
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TWO, TO PREVENT YVETTE
FROM KNOWING
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THAT I AM HAVING IT OFF
WITH MARIA;
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AND THREE, TO PREVENT
MY WIFE KNOWING
25
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THAT I AM HAVING A DING-DONG
WITH BOTH OF THEM.
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THE REASON I AM
SITTING OUT HERE,
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POLISHING THE CUTLERY,
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IS SO THAT I CAN SEE
WHEN MY WIFE
29
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GOES INTO THE SHOP
OF MONSIEUR CHEVAL, THE BUTCHER.
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AH, YES, SHE IS ENTERING.
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HE IS--
HE IS GREETING HER.
32
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NOW HE IS POINTING AT A CHICKEN
WITH HIS CHOPPER.
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THESE NEGOTIATIONS WILL TAKE
AT LEAST 10 MINUTES,
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AND COULD INCLUDE A VISIT
TO THE COLD ROOM.
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SO I HAVE A LITTLE TIME
TO SPARE.
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YVETTE?!
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( growling )
RRR-RENE!
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OH, MY LITTLE WOOD PIGEON.
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MY BIG GOOSE.
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AHH-- OOF!
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RENE, CAN YOU FEEL
THE WILD BEATING
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OF MY HEART THROUGH
THIS THIN BLOUSE?
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NO, PRESS HARDER.
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OH, RENE, HOW MUCH LONGER
CAN WE GO ON LIKE THIS?
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HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE
TO PLUCK A CHICKEN?
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- RENE.
- HUH?
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I KNOW HOW YOU MUST FEEL
WHEN I AM WITH OTHER MEN,
48
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BUT DO NOT WORRY--
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ALL THE TIME I AM
THINKING OF YOU.
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AHH, AND WHEN I AM
WITH MY WIFE,
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ALL THE TIME I AM
THINKING OF YOU.
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IT DOES NOT HELP.
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I MUST GO.
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- OH, NO.
- OH, YES.
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HOLD ME FOR ONE LAST TIME.
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( both gasp )
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RENE, COME TO ME TONIGHT.
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I WILL GIVE YOU A SIGNAL
WHEN ALL IS CLEAR.
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WHAT WILL THE SIGNAL BE?
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00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:18,264
I WILL TAKE THE RED LIGHT
OUT OF MY WINDOW.
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OH, YVETTE,
ALWAYS THE ROMANTIC.
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GO NOW, MY CHILD.
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RENE!
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MARIA!
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OH, RENE,
HOW MUCH LONGER
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CAN WE GO ON
LIKE THIS?
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AS LONG AS MY WIFE IS WELL
AND STRONG ENOUGH
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291
TO GET TO THE BUTCHER'S.
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COME TO MY ROOM
TONIGHT?
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00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,796
NO, MARIA,
IT IS TOO RISKY.
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00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:54,300
HOW ABOUT
THE AIRING CUPBOARD NEXT TO THE BATHROOM?
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IT IS TOO HOT.
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THIS TIME
I WILL STAND
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WITH MY BACK
TO THE TANK.
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OH, WELL... VERY WELL.
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00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,814
I WILL SEE THAT MY WIFE
HAS A GOOD BATH,
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TO RUN OFF AS MUCH
HOT WATER AS POSSIBLE.
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OH, RENE!
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00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,821
PUT THAT GIRL DOWN
AND LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
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I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
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THE AIRMEN ARE
IN THE MORTUARY,
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BUT THE DIGGING
OF THE TUNNEL IS TOO SLOW.
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00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,832
THEY HAVE COME
TO AN HARD BIT.
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00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:26,833
THEY NEED HELP.
85
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,335
WHY CANNOT THE UNDERTAKERS
GIVE THEM AN HAND?
86
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:31,337
THEY ARE
DIGGING GRAVES.
87
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,838
IN THE GRAVES,
THEY PUT THE EARTH
88
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THAT IS DUG
FROM THE TUNNEL.
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00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,845
IF THEY ARE PUTTING
THE EARTH FROM THE TUNNELS
90
00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,346
IN THE GRAVES,
91
00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:42,848
WHERE ARE THEY PUTTING
THE EARTH FROM THE GRAVES?
92
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:46,352
THEY ARE DIGGING
OTHER GRAVES.
93
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,354
WILL NOT THE GERMANS
BECOME SUSPICIOUS
94
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AT THE DIGGING
OF ALL THESE GRAVES?
95
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,859
NOT IF WE KEEP
SHOOTING GERMANS TO PUT IN THEM.
96
00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:55,862
YOU ARE VERY DETERMINED,
ARE YOU NOT?
97
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,232
EDITH, EDITH!
98
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,234
HOW MUCH LONGER
HAVE I TO REMAIN LIKE THIS,
99
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:03,236
WITH MY LEGS IN THE AIR?
100
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,737
OH, QUIET, MAMMA.
101
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:08,240
RENE IS JUST BRINGING
THE NEW BATTERIES FOR THE RADIO.
102
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EDITH, THESE ARE
DAMNED HEAVY. OPEN IT UP.
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EDITH...
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EDITH! NOW!
105
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I HAVE HEARD
THAT LAST NIGHT
106
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THE GERMAN SWINE
107
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TOOK AWAY MY PAINTING
OF THE FLOWERS.
108
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BE THANKFUL THEY DID NOT
STEAL THE SILVER.
109
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THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME
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BY A PENNILESS ARTIST
111
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WHO WENT ROUND THE TWIST.
112
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IT LOOKED TO ME AS IF
HE WAS ROUND THE TWIST WHEN HE PAINTED IT.
113
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AH--
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BUT HE WAS SO
IN LOVE WITH ME.
115
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HE SAID
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IF I DID NOT MARRY HIM,
117
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HE WOULD TAKE A KNIFE,
118
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AND CUT OFF BITS
OF HIS PERSON
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AND SEND THEM TO ME.
120
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WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM,
MAMMA?
121
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HE WENT AWAY.
122
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BUT I REMEMBER,
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I DID RECEIVE,
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BY REGISTERED POST,
125
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AN EAR.
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AN EAR?!
127
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WHAT WAS HIS NAME?
128
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I CALLED HIM BOBBY.
129
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THANK GOD FOR THAT.
130
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WELL, I THOUGHT
131
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VINCENT
132
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SOUNDED TOO POOFY.
133
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VINCENT?!
134
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YOU SILLY OLD BAT!
THAT WAS A VAN GOGH!
135
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ALL THIS TIME,
WE HAVE HAD ON OUR WALLS
136
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A VAN GOGH
AND WE DID NOT KNOW!
137
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YOU SAID IT WAS
A WORTHLESS DAUB.
138
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- WELL, WHAT DO I KNOW?
- ( radio buzzing )
139
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AARGHH! THE BEDKNOBS,
THE FLASHING BEDKNOBS.
140
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'Allo, Nighthawk,
'allo, Nighthawk.
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Are you receiving me?
Over.
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'ALLO, 'ALLO,
NIGHTHAWK HERE.
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GIVE THAT TO ME!
144
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YOU ARE NOT NIGHTHAWK.
145
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,845
I AM NIGHTHAWK.
146
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:55,848
YOU ARE MRS. NIGHTHAWK.
147
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:58,851
'ALLO, 'ALLO,
THIS IS NIGHTHAWK SPEAKING.
148
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PASS YOUR MESSAGE, PLEASE.
OVER.
149
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,855
Has Old Mother Hubbard
150
00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:05,357
got together
with Miss Muffet
151
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and Little Boy Blue?
Over.
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LOOK IT UP, EDITH,
HAS OLD MOTHER HUBBARD
153
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,865
GOT TOGETHER WITH MISS MUFFET
AND LITTLE BOY BLUE?
154
00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,868
THE WAY PEOPLE
CARRY ON THESE DAYS,
155
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:18,370
I'M NOT SURPRISED.
156
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,372
SHUT UP!
157
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IT MEANS,
"ARE THE AIRMEN
158
00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,376
INSIDE THE PRISONER
OF WAR CAMP?"
159
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,877
WE MUST TELL THEM NO.
160
00:07:24,877 --> 00:07:26,879
LITTLE BOY BLUE
IS STILL HOLDING
161
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,881
MISS MUFFET'S
TUFFET.
162
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:30,883
BUT WE ARE HOPING
TO GET THEM
163
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,384
UP THE BEANSTALK
TONIGHT. OVER.
164
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:36,389
DID YOU WRITE DOWN
THE MESSAGE,
165
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,391
VON SMALLHAUSEN?
166
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,892
AS YOU ORDERED,
HERR FLICK.
167
00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,894
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
168
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,897
FORTUNATELY, I WAS
EDUCATED AT OXFORD.
169
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,398
THESE ARE NURSERY RHYMES.
170
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,401
THERE MUST BE
SOME CONNECTION.
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00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:49,902
AS I RECALL...
172
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,905
MOTHER HUBBARD WAS THE ONE
WHO HAD THE CUPBOARD.
173
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AIRMEN CAN HIDE
IN A CUPBOARD.
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EXCELLENT.
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LITTLE MISS MUFFET,
SHE HAD THE TUFFET.
176
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,915
WHAT IS A TUFFET?
177
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,417
A TUFFET IS
A MOUND OF EARTH,
178
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,420
SIMILAR TO THAT
THROWN UP...
179
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,922
BY THE MOLE.
180
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:11,924
AND WHERE DO
MOLES LIVE?
181
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,425
UNDERGROUND!
182
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,928
THEY HAVE BEEN HIDDEN
IN THE CUPBOARD,
183
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:16,929
BY THE UNDERGROUND.
184
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,430
NOW--
185
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,935
WHAT DID
LITTLE BOY BLUE HAVE?
186
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:23,936
I CANNOT REMEMBER.
187
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,938
THINK, VON SMALLHAUSEN.
188
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:27,940
YOUR WHOLE CAREER
MAY DEPEND ON IT.
189
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,442
AHHH, IT ALL COMES BACK--
190
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,945
OXFORD, THE RIVER,
191
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,947
THE DREAMING SPIRE--
192
00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,949
HE HAD THE HORN.
193
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:39,952
THE FRENCH HORN.
194
00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:42,454
THEY HAVE BEEN HIDDEN
BY THE FRENCH UNDERGROUND
195
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,457
IN THIS CUPBOARD.
196
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,959
NOW, WHERE IS THE CUPBOARD?
197
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,962
IS THERE NO CLUE
WE HAVE MISSED?
198
00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:54,466
WE HAVE THE TUFFET,
THE HORN, THE CUPBOARD.
199
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,469
MOTHER HUBBARD WAS LOOKING
IN THE CUPBOARD
200
00:08:56,469 --> 00:08:59,472
TO FIND FOR
HER POOR DOGGY, A BONE.
201
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:00,973
A BONE,
202
00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:02,474
AND WHERE DO YOU
FIND BONES?
203
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,976
AT THE BUTCHER'S?
204
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,478
WHERE ELSE, VON SMALLHAUSEN?
WHERE ELSE?
205
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:08,481
IN THE GRAVEYARD.
206
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,484
WHERE, LATELY,
THERE HAS BEEN MUCH DIGGING.
207
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,486
WE WILL INVESTIGATE.
208
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,989
YOU HAVE AN INCREDIBLE BRAIN,
HERR FLICK.
209
00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,992
DO NOT BE A LITTLE CRAWLER.
210
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,035
- GOOD DAY TO YOU,
CAPTAIN. - HELLO.
211
00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:31,037
I HAVE BROUGHT YOU
YOUR USUAL.
212
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,040
ONE DOES NOT
NORMALLY SEE YOU WITHOUT THE COLONEL.
213
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,043
HE IS CROSS WITH ME.
WE ARE HARDLY SPEAKING.
214
00:09:37,043 --> 00:09:39,045
ALL HE SAID THIS MORNING
WAS, "HEIL HITLER."
215
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,548
NOT EXACTLY
THE START
216
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:45,050
OF A SPARKLING
CONVERSATION.
217
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,552
WHAT IS THE REASON
FOR THIS RUPTURE
218
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,554
IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
219
00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:50,055
THE SHOOTING LAST NIGHT.
220
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,058
THAT WAS NOT
YOUR FAULT.
221
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,060
YOU DID NOT
SHOOT ANYBODY.
222
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,562
IT WAS MY JEALOUS,
IMPETUOUS WIFE.
223
00:09:56,562 --> 00:09:58,063
SHE USED MY GUN.
224
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,566
HE'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW?
THE COLONEL.
225
00:10:00,566 --> 00:10:02,568
HE CONFISCATED
MY JACKBOOTS ONCE,
226
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,570
JUST BECAUSE I REFUSED
TO KICK A PEASANT.
227
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,574
I CAN TELL YOU, RENE,
I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS WAR.
228
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,576
YOU SURPRISE ME,
CAPTAIN.
229
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,078
YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO BE
HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME.
230
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:15,081
ONE HAS TO KEEP UP
APPEARANCES.
231
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:17,083
IT IS NOT ALWAYS EASY,
YOU KNOW, GOOSESTEPPING ABOUT,
232
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,085
SHOUTING AND RANTING.
233
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,087
IT IS HARD TO BE
A CONQUERING HERO,
234
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,089
WHEN IT IS NOT
IN YOUR NATURE.
235
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,091
WHY DO YOU DO IT?
236
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,592
( groans )
IT IS HITLER.
237
00:10:26,592 --> 00:10:29,595
HE'S A VERY DEMANDING CHAP.
238
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:32,598
YEAH, OF COURSE.
239
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:35,601
THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN
A BAD-TEMPERED DECORATOR.
240
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,605
WE HAD ONE HERE ONCE,
YOU KNOW?
241
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,107
RENE,
THAT BRIBE YOU GAVE TO THE POLICEMAN,
242
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:44,110
WILL IT BE ENOUGH
TO KEEP HIM QUIET?
243
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,611
YOU CAN RELY ON IT.
244
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,112
RENE...
245
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:51,617
I CANNOT
THANK YOU ENOUGH.
246
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:53,118
I WILL DO ANYTHING
FOR YOU, RENE.
247
00:10:55,621 --> 00:10:57,623
I WILL. PERFUME...
248
00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:00,125
SILK STOCKINGS...
249
00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:03,629
ANY LITTLE LUXURY
YOU CARE TO NAME...
250
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:06,131
THERMAL UNDERWEAR?
251
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,135
AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING?
252
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,636
NO, NO, NO.
253
00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,639
WE'RE JUST DISCUSSING
A LITTLE PRIVATE MATTER BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.
254
00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:16,141
I SEE.
255
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,643
I, UH...
256
00:11:17,643 --> 00:11:20,145
I HOPE THERE WERE
NO REPERCUSSIONS
257
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:22,148
OVER THE SHOOTING
HERE LAST NIGHT?
258
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:24,650
SHOOTING? NO, NO.
DID YOU SEE A SHOOTING, RENE?
259
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:27,152
NOT THAT I CAN RECALL, NO.
260
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,655
MIND YOU, IT WAS
A VERY LIVELY EVENING.
261
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,156
I UNDERSTAND.
262
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,659
AH, COLONEL,
GOOD DAY TO YOU.
263
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:35,661
GOOD DAY, RENE.
264
00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,663
GOOD DAY, HUBERT.
265
00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:39,164
HELLO.
266
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:40,666
HEIL HITLER!
267
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,671
SAY "HEIL HITLER"
FOR ME.
268
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,675
HAVE YOU TWO
FALLEN OUT?
269
00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:51,176
WE HAVE.
270
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:53,179
OVER A GIRL?
271
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,181
NO, NOT OVER A GIRL.
272
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,685
I SEE.
273
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:04,189
NOW, HUBERT,
WHAT'S HAPPENING ABOUT THE PAINTINGS?
274
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,192
I HAVE TAKEN THEM
TO MY QUARTERS.
275
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,193
GOOD.
276
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:10,196
THERE, I CAN COPY
THE FALLEN MADONNA.
277
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,697
TWICE.
278
00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:12,698
TWICE?
279
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:15,701
AH, I HAD BETTER
MAKE A NOTE OF THIS.
280
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:18,203
- MY PENCIL.
- THANK YOU.
281
00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:22,208
MADONNA
WITH BIG BOOBIES.
282
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,709
TWO.
283
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,213
ONE FOR HITLER,
ONE FOR FLICK.
284
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,714
THE ORIGINAL CAN BE
RETURNED TO ME.
285
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:32,718
YOU MEAN,
RETURNED TO US, DON'T YOU?
286
00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,720
HE'S STILL IGNORING ME,
YOU SEE?
287
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,222
THE GENERAL
HAS ALSO ASKED ME
288
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,724
TO MAKE A COPY
OF THE VAN GOGH.
289
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,726
IS HE SENDING
THE ORIGINAL TO HITLER?
290
00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:43,228
NO, HE IS SENDING
THE COPY TO HITLER.
291
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,730
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!
292
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,733
YOU WOULD THINK A GENERAL
WOULD BE ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING, WOULDN'T YOU?
293
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:50,736
I KNOW A COLONEL
IS NOT, BUT YOU'D THINK A GENERAL WOULD--
294
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,740
LIEUTENANT,
DEAR LIEUTENANT,
295
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,742
WHILE YOU ARE AT IT,
COULD YOU MAKE
296
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,744
ANOTHER COPY
OF THE VAN GOGH?
297
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,746
TELL THE GENERAL
IT IS THE REAL ONE,
298
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:03,749
AND RETURN THE ORIGINAL
TO ME, THE RIGHTFUL OWNER.
299
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:05,250
THAT WOULD BE
DISHONEST, RENE.
300
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,253
NOT IF WE SPLIT
THE PROCEEDS AFTER THE WAR.
301
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:09,255
ANOTHER COPY,
GRUBER.
302
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,258
THAT IS TWO
VAN GOGHS,
303
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,760
AND TWO
FALLEN MADONNAS.
304
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,262
FOUR BOOBIES.
305
00:13:30,776 --> 00:13:34,279
SISTER, YOU WILL
COME HERE.
306
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,286
I AM HERE,
HERR FATHER.
307
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:43,289
GIVE TO ME
MY POWERFUL BINOCULARS.
308
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,291
AT ONCE, HERR FATHER.
309
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:52,798
WHAT WAS IT YOU WERE
HOPING TO SEE, HERR FATHER?
310
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:54,800
I HAVE ALREADY SEEN
311
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,301
WHAT I WAS
HOPING TO SEE.
312
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,808
THERE IS
MUCH DIGGING
313
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:04,810
AND VERY LITTLE
BURYING.
314
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:06,311
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
315
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,314
WE WAIT.
316
00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:09,815
DO YOU WISH ME
TO KISS YOU?
317
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,317
NOT WHILE YOU ARE
DRESSED AS A NUN!
318
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,819
IT WOULD
GIVE OFFENSE.
319
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,821
WHO WOULD IT UPSET?
320
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,825
IT WOULD UPSET ME.
321
00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:23,829
VON SMALLHAUSEN,
STOP SNOOPING
322
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,330
AND TAKE YOUR SMOKE BOMB
ELSEWHERE.
323
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:28,334
HOLY FATHER,
I HAVE SINNED.
324
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,337
I HAVE JOINED A HOUSE
OF ILL REPUTE,
325
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:34,340
WHERE MANY WICKED GIRLS
CAVORT IN SCANTY CLOTHES,
326
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,342
AND ARE NAUGHTY
WITH MEN.
327
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:39,345
WELL...
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?
328
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,849
HERR FATHER,
YOU MUST GIVE TO THIS WICKED GIRL,
329
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:45,350
A PENANCE.
330
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,852
I SEE.
331
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:50,355
GO HOME AND SAY
100 HEIL HITLERS.
332
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,363
YOU LET HER OFF
VERY LIGHTLY, HERR FATHER.
333
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,365
USUALLY YOU'RE
MUCH MORE SEVERE.
334
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:02,368
( "Hallelujah Chorus" plays )
335
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:06,872
OVERTURE AND BEGINNERS,
PLEASE.
336
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,874
COME, SISTER.
337
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:10,375
WE ARE ON.
338
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:20,886
DAMNED HARD WORK,
FAIRFAX.
339
00:15:20,886 --> 00:15:23,889
YES, I KNOW, AND YOU'VE
LADDERED YOUR STOCKING.
340
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:26,391
HOW'S IT GOING,
CHAPS?
341
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,394
WE'VE HIT ROCK
OR SOMETHING.
342
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,396
WE REALLY NEED
A DRILL.
343
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:31,897
WE CAN'T DO THAT,
344
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,899
IT WOULD MAKE
TOO MUCH NOISE.
345
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:35,901
COULDN'T YOU DRUM UP
SOME EXTRA BODS?
346
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:38,403
WE'RE GETTING SOME HELP
FROM THE CAFE.
347
00:15:39,905 --> 00:15:41,907
HOW'S IT GOING,
SIMPSON?
348
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:42,908
IT'S A BIT STICKY, SIR.
349
00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:45,911
IT'S NOT EASY
WITH TEASPOONS.
350
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:47,913
KEEP BASHING ON.
WE'VE GOT A COUPLE
351
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,915
OF HOURS BEFORE
THE INSPECTION.
352
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,493
GOOD EVENING, ALL.
353
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:03,495
OH MY GOD.
354
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:07,499
OFFICER, WELCOME
TO MY HUMBLE CAFE.
355
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:11,503
PSST!
356
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,506
IT IS I, LECLERC.
357
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,007
NO!
358
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,013
I HAVE A MESSAGE
FROM MICHELLE.
359
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:23,015
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
360
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,516
WE HAVE BEEN WAITING
FOR INSTRUCTIONS.
361
00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:28,520
MADAME, A LADY REPORTED
SEEING A FLASHER.
362
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,021
AND YOU HAD
TO ARREST HIM.
363
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:31,523
ER, UH... NO.
364
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,525
I HAD TO DISGUISE MYSELF
AS A POLICEMAN,
365
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,528
SO THAT SHE WOULD NOT
RECOGNIZE HIM.
366
00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:38,530
WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE?
367
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,533
YOU ARE TO GO AT ONCE
TO THE MORTUARY
368
00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:44,035
AND HELP
WITH THE DIGGING.
369
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:45,537
GO AT ONCE?
AND HOW ARE WE TO GET THERE?
370
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,539
THE PLACE IS STIFF
WITH GERMANS.
371
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,541
HERE, TAKE THIS
UPSTAIRS TO MY MOTHER.
372
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:52,043
TELL HER SHE MUST
GET DOWN HERE,
373
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:53,545
AND TAKE OVER THE BAR
WHILE WE ARE GONE.
374
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:54,546
VERY GOOD, MADAME.
375
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,550
HOW LONG WILL YOU GO ON
NOT SPEAKING TO ME?
376
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,053
THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED TO ME
SINCE I WAS A SMALL BOY
377
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,556
AT SCHOOL AND THEY
SENT ME TO COVENTRY.
378
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,559
THIS IS A TERRIBLE THING
TO HAPPEN TO A SMALL BOY
379
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,562
WHEN YOU ARE AT SCHOOL
IN DUSSELDORF.
380
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,567
OH, LOOK! WHY IS
THAT WAITRESS LEANING OVER
381
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:17,569
AND SHOWING HER SUSPENDERS?
382
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,571
AHHH! YOU SEE!
383
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:22,574
SO YOU CAN HEAR.
384
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:24,075
( laughing )
385
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:27,579
OH, HECK. HERE COMES
THAT ENGLISH IDIOT
386
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,081
WHO THINKS HE CAN
SPEAK OUR LANGUAGE.
387
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,584
GOOD MOANING.
388
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:36,588
GOOD MOANING.
389
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:41,593
DO YOU WANT
THE GOOD NOSE OR THE BAD NOSE?
390
00:17:42,594 --> 00:17:45,597
OH, DO LET US HAVE
THE GOOD NOSE.
391
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:48,099
I HAVE HASHED UP
392
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,603
THE SHATTING
OF THE TWO TITS.
393
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:55,607
WHAT DOES CRABTREE SAY,
YVETTE?
394
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,609
HE HAS HUSHED UP
395
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,611
THE SHOOTING
OF THE TWO TARTS.
396
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:02,113
GOOD. AND WHAT
IS THE BAD NOSE?
397
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,616
THE GESTAPO
ARE HOOVERING
398
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,618
ROUND THE GRAVEYARD,
399
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,621
DISGEESED AS A NAN,
400
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,623
A BOSHOP,
401
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:13,625
AND A ROMAN
CATHOLIC FARTER.
402
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,132
I KNEW I SHOULD
NOT HAVE ASKED.
403
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,135
WHERE ARE THE AIRMEN?
404
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:26,138
THEY HAVE TAKEN SPADES.
405
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:29,141
THEY HAVE CRAPPED
ALONG THE TUNNEL,
406
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:33,645
AND ARE DOGGING.
407
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:36,648
THAT DOES NOT SOUND
LIKE A LOT OF FUN.
408
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:40,151
WE ARE SUPPOSED
TO BE HELPING THEM.
409
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,653
WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
410
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:44,656
WITH MY DISGEESE
AS A POLOCEMAN,
411
00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:47,158
I AM OBLE
TO ESCOOT YOU THERE.
412
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,661
LOOK, CAN YOU NOT
FIND A PHRASE BOOK
413
00:18:49,661 --> 00:18:51,663
AND IMPROVE YOUR FRENCH?
414
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:53,164
IT IS TERRIBLE!
415
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:56,168
NOBODY HAS
COMPLONED SO FUR.
416
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,671
IF THEY DO,
I WILL TOLL THEM
417
00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:01,673
THAT I AM
FROM THE LEFT BONK.
418
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,678
YVETTE, MARIA--
419
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:09,180
GO ROUND THE TABLES
AND COLLECT ALL THE FLOWERS
420
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,682
SO WE CAN
TAKE THEM WITH US.
421
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:13,184
WHAT EXCUSE DO WE
GIVE TO THE COLONEL AND THE CAPTAIN?
422
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:15,187
YOU LEAVE THIS TO ME.
423
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,193
DEAR COLONEL,
DEAR CAPTAIN,
424
00:19:21,193 --> 00:19:22,694
FORGIVE US,
425
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,696
BUT WE ARE DEPARTING
TO PAY OUR RESPECTS
426
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,698
TO THE TWO WOMEN
OF THE STREET,
427
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,700
WHO I UNFORTUNATELY
SHOT WITH YOUR GUN.
428
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,702
COME, LADIES.
429
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:37,208
HANS,
I THINK THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING.
430
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,711
OH, UNCLE KURT,
YOU'RE SPEAKING TO ME.
431
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:46,218
OHHH, WHAT A RELIEF!
432
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,220
LET THAT BE
A LESSON TO YOU.
433
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,221
YES.
434
00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,723
I THINK WE SHOULD
FOLLOW RENE.
435
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:54,225
BUT GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN
TOLD US TO WATCH THE CAFE.
436
00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,728
YOU ARE RIGHT.
WE SHOULD OBEY ORDERS.
437
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,730
WE WILL WATCH
THE CAFE.
438
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:02,233
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
439
00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,736
TONIGHT,
IT IS CABARET TIME,
440
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:06,237
AT THE CAFE RENE.
441
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:09,241
AND IN THE ABSENCE
OF MADAME EDITH,
442
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,243
PLEASE TO WELCOME,
443
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:13,245
FROM THE FOLIES BERGERES,
444
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,248
MADAME FANNY LA FAN.
445
00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:21,252
( piano music playing )
446
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,264
♪ TAKE ME ♪
447
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,767
♪ TO YOUR HEART AGAIN ♪
448
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,769
♪ LET'S MAKE ♪
449
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,771
♪ A START AGAIN ♪
450
00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:41,773
♪ FORGIVING ♪
451
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:43,274
♪ AND FORGETTING... ♪
452
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,277
I WAS RIGHT
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
453
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,778
WE WILL FOLLOW RENE.
454
00:20:46,778 --> 00:20:49,280
WHAT ABOUT THE ORDERS?!
455
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:51,783
OFFICERS MUST USE
THEIR INITIATIVE.
456
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,785
BESIDES, THERE IS
NO CHEESE FOR OUR EARS.
457
00:20:57,789 --> 00:21:00,792
♪ DEAREST ♪
458
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,293
♪ LET'S TURN BACK
THE YEARS ♪
459
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:05,797
♪ LET SMILES
COME AFTER TEARS ♪
460
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:07,799
♪ LIKE SUNSHINE ♪
461
00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:10,802
♪ AFTER RAIN ♪
462
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:13,805
♪ I'M YEARNING ♪
463
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,306
♪ FOR YOU ♪
464
00:21:15,307 --> 00:21:18,310
♪ BY NIGHT AND BY DAY ♪
465
00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,313
♪ PRAYING THAT SOON ♪
466
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:23,315
♪ I'D HEAR YOU SAYING ♪
467
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:26,318
♪ I LOVE ♪
468
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:28,820
♪ YOU. ♪
469
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,321
( rhythm accelerates )
470
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:32,324
♪ WE WILL NEVER PART AGAIN ♪
471
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:36,328
♪ IF YOU WOULD
HOLD ME BY-- ♪
472
00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:41,866
( organ music playing )
473
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:44,369
THAT SERMON YOU GAVE
WAS MOST MOVING, HERR FATHER.
474
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:48,373
BISHOP VON SMALLHAUSEN
HAD TEARS RUNNING DOWN HIS CHEEKS.
475
00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:51,376
THAT WAS
BECAUSE THIS THING WOULD NOT GO OUT.
476
00:21:51,376 --> 00:21:53,878
STILL, THERE IS
MUCH DIGGING.
477
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,381
THERE IS SOMETHING
BEHIND THIS.
478
00:21:57,382 --> 00:21:59,384
LET US GO
TO THE MORTUARY
479
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,886
TO INTERROGATE
THE UNDERTAKER.
480
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,892
WITH HERR FLICK,
LIFE IS NEVER DULL.
481
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,903
I SHAN'T GO OUT WITH GIRLS
ANYMORE AFTER THIS.
482
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:21,907
YOU'VE PUT ME OFF.
483
00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:25,910
I'VE BEEN DIGGING
JUST AS HARD AS YOU HAVE.
484
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:26,912
( footsteps approach )
485
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:28,413
CAVEE,
SOMEONE'S COMING.
486
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:35,920
PULL YOUR SKIRT DOWN.
487
00:22:38,423 --> 00:22:40,425
OKAY, CHAPS,
IT'S ONLY ME.
488
00:22:40,425 --> 00:22:43,928
I MUST LOVE YOU NOW,
SO GOOD LICK.
489
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,431
WHERE IS
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE?
490
00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,433
HE'S IN THE TUNNEL,
HAVING A DIG.
491
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:50,435
I THINK WE'VE GOT
RATS DOWN THERE.
492
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:51,936
WE CAN HEAR A LOT
OF SCRATCHING.
493
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:54,940
THAT WILL BE THE CHAPS
IN THE P.O.W. CAMP TUNNELING OUT.
494
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,942
IN THAT CASE,
WE MAY NOT HAVE FAR TO GO.
495
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:59,444
AND WE'VE NO TIME TO LOSE.
WE MUST DIG LIKE FURY.
496
00:22:59,444 --> 00:23:00,945
IT'S JOLLY TIRING.
497
00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:02,948
- MURDER ON THE OLD
HANDS AND KNEES. - ( rumbling )
498
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:04,449
WHAT WAS THAT?
499
00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:10,455
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
AT YOUR SERVICE.
500
00:23:11,456 --> 00:23:13,458
( coughs )
501
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,461
"SWIFTLY,
AND WITH STYLE"...
502
00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:22,967
AND TEMPORARILY KNACKERED.
503
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,971
WHAT IS YOUR
PROGRESS REPORT?
504
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,973
THE TUNNEL--
505
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:31,476
IS WHAT IS KNOWN
AS BUNGED UP WITH LOOSE EARTH.
506
00:23:31,476 --> 00:23:34,479
IT IS THE DISPOSAL
OF WHAT WE CALL IN MY TRADE--
507
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:36,481
OF THE MUCK--
508
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:38,483
THAT CONSUMES
ALL THE TIME.
509
00:23:38,483 --> 00:23:39,984
VERY WELL.
510
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:40,986
RIGHT, CHAPS,
IN YOU GO.
511
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:42,487
DIG FOR YOUR LIFE.
512
00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,489
WE'LL ARRANGE A CHAIN
TO GET RID OF THE EARTH.
513
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:53,498
GET IN THERE.
514
00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:56,000
WHEN YOUR POTS ARE FULL,
PASS THEM BACK.
515
00:23:57,502 --> 00:24:00,004
HOW LONG ARE WE
GOING TO BE DOWN THERE?
516
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:05,510
FILL THEM
WITH EARTH, DUMMY.
517
00:24:09,514 --> 00:24:10,515
GET A MOVE ON,
SIMPSON.
518
00:24:10,515 --> 00:24:12,016
THE WHOLE OPERATION'S
SLOWING UP.
519
00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:13,518
I'M DOING MY BEST, SIR.
520
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:16,521
- SHH, SHH!
- ( scratching; thumping )
521
00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:18,523
THAT SCRATCHING'S
GETTING QUITE LOUD.
522
00:24:18,523 --> 00:24:20,024
WELL, BASH ON,
WE'RE NEARLY THERE.
523
00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:22,027
Edith:
HERE,
524
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:23,028
RENE,
TAKE THIS.
525
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:27,032
EDITH, STOP POKING ME
WITH YOUR POT.
526
00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,036
FILL IT UP
AND GIVE ME ANOTHER ONE.
527
00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:34,539
I AM A POT PASSER
NOT A POT FILLER.
528
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,042
NOW, HERE YOU ARE.
529
00:24:37,042 --> 00:24:38,543
THERE, ARE YOU SATISFIED?
530
00:24:38,543 --> 00:24:41,045
OW!
531
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,548
( breathing heavily )
THANK YOU.
532
00:24:43,548 --> 00:24:47,051
OH, THIS IS
VERY GOOD QUALITY.
533
00:24:47,052 --> 00:24:51,056
WHEN WE HAVE FINISHED I WOULD
LIKE SOME OF THESE FOR THE CAFE.
534
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,558
ALWAYS THE ENTREPRENEUR.
535
00:24:54,559 --> 00:24:56,561
WHERE SHALL I
PUT THE REFUSE?
536
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:59,564
- I WILL TAKE IT.
- IT IS BRIMMING OVER.
537
00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:00,565
MONSIEUR ALPHONSE,
538
00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:03,067
THE COLONEL
AND THE CAPTAIN ARE APPROACHING.
539
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,569
OH MY GOD.
540
00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:06,571
WE MUST WARN THEM
IN THE TUNNEL, TWO JERRIES ARE COMING.
541
00:25:06,571 --> 00:25:10,074
- WHAT?
- WARN THEM IN THE TUNNEL TWO JERRIES ARE COMING!
542
00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:12,077
TWO JERRIES ARE COMING.
543
00:25:12,077 --> 00:25:14,579
TWO JERRIES ARE COMING.
544
00:25:14,579 --> 00:25:17,081
TWO JERRIES ARE COMING.
545
00:25:17,082 --> 00:25:19,584
I CAN ONLY DEAL
WITH ONE AT A TIME.
546
00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,590
I THINK I'M THROUGH.
547
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,091
JOLLY GOOD SHOW.
548
00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:33,598
MY GOD, FRENCH CRUMPET!
549
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,603
THEY MUST BE
PRETTY DESPERATE IF THEY'RE TUNNELING IN.
550
00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:40,605
- HELLO!
- HELLO!
551
00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:44,108
GOOD GOD, IT'S
FAIRFAX AND CARSTAIRS FROM 402 SQUADRON.
552
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,110
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
553
00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:47,112
WE'RE TRYING TO GET IN.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
554
00:25:47,112 --> 00:25:48,613
WE'RE TRYING TO GET OUT.
555
00:25:48,613 --> 00:25:51,115
Michelle:
LOOK OUT, CHAPS. JERRIES ARE COMING.
556
00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:53,118
QUICK, BACK UP.
557
00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:54,619
RIGHT.
558
00:26:04,629 --> 00:26:08,132
I AM SORRY IF
I HAVE CAUGHT YOU AT AN INCONVENIENT MOMENT.
559
00:26:09,134 --> 00:26:11,136
CAN I HELP YOU,
MONSIEUR?
560
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:13,138
I AM LOOKING
FOR MONSIEUR RENE
561
00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:15,640
WHOM I OBSERVED
ENTERING THESE PREMISES.
562
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,642
HE'S NOT HERE.
563
00:26:17,642 --> 00:26:20,645
WE WILL SEARCH.
HANS, SEARCH.
564
00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:21,646
SEARCH, SEARCH.
565
00:26:24,149 --> 00:26:26,151
IS THERE A DEAD BODY
IN HERE?
566
00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:28,653
HOPEFULLY.
567
00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:31,155
WE PUT A SCREWDRIVER
IN WITH THEM,
568
00:26:31,156 --> 00:26:33,158
IN CASE WE MAKE
A MISTAKE.
569
00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:38,163
HOW FAR DO YOU
WANT ME TO GO?
570
00:26:38,163 --> 00:26:39,664
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
571
00:26:39,664 --> 00:26:41,666
IT IS SPOOKY.
572
00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:43,668
OPEN THE COFFIN.
573
00:26:46,171 --> 00:26:48,173
IT IS FULL OF EARTH.
574
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,175
WHY IS THIS COFFIN
FULL OF EARTH?
575
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:53,178
I AM GROWING MUSHROOMS.
576
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,181
I DO NOT SEE
ANY MUSHROOMS.
577
00:26:57,182 --> 00:27:01,186
THAT IS PROBABLY BECAUSE
THEY HAVE NOT YET COME UP.
578
00:27:02,187 --> 00:27:03,688
THERE'S EARTH
ON THE FLOOR.
579
00:27:03,688 --> 00:27:04,689
HANS, HELP ME.
580
00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:06,691
NO, MONSIEUR,
YOU CANNOT.
581
00:27:06,691 --> 00:27:09,694
YOU CANNOT
DEFILE THE TOMB OF THE DEPARTED.
582
00:27:11,196 --> 00:27:13,198
WHY IS THERE EARTH
IN YOUR POT?
583
00:27:14,699 --> 00:27:18,703
I AM TRYING TO CULTIVATE
THE STONE OF THE AVOCADO PEAR.
584
00:27:18,703 --> 00:27:22,206
DO YOU HAVE TO SIT ON IT
TO CULTIVATE IT?
585
00:27:22,207 --> 00:27:26,711
MONSIEUR, IT REQUIRES
A WARM TEMPERATURE.
586
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:29,714
I GREW ONE
ON A DAMP FLANNEL.
587
00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:31,215
HANS, HELP ME.
588
00:27:37,722 --> 00:27:38,723
IT IS A TUNNEL.
589
00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:40,224
A TUNNEL?
590
00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:42,727
HOW DID THAT
GET IN THERE?
591
00:27:42,727 --> 00:27:45,730
WE MUST FIND OUT
WHERE IT LEADS.
592
00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:47,732
HANS, YOU GO FIRST.
593
00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:51,235
( knocking on door )
594
00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:02,247
NOW, WHAT'S GOING ON?
595
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:04,249
WE ARE BEING HUNTED
BY THE GESTAPO
596
00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:05,250
AND THE JERRY TROOPS,
597
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:06,751
IN FACT, THE WHOLE DAMNED
LOT OF THEM.
598
00:28:06,751 --> 00:28:09,253
IF THEY FIND US
WITHOUT UNIFORMS WE'LL BE SHOT.
599
00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:10,755
WHAT ABOUT THIS LOT?
600
00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:13,257
WE'RE THE FRENCH
RESISTANCE. THEY'LL SHOOT US TOO.
601
00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:15,260
MY GOD, SIMPSON,
THIS IS A BIT OF A FACER.
602
00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:17,262
THERE'S AN INSPECTION
IN FIVE MINUTES.
603
00:28:17,262 --> 00:28:19,264
OF COURSE,
WITH THE KRAUT GENERAL.
604
00:28:19,264 --> 00:28:20,765
WE'D BETTER SET
ABOUT HIDING THEM.
605
00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:23,768
WILL SOMEONE TELL ME
WHAT IS GOING ON?
606
00:28:23,768 --> 00:28:26,270
THEY ARE GOING
TO HIDE US.
607
00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:28,273
WHY DO WE NOT GO
BACK DOWN THE TUNNEL?
608
00:28:28,273 --> 00:28:30,275
THE COLONEL
AND THE CAPTAIN ARE COMING DOWN IT.
609
00:28:30,275 --> 00:28:31,776
WHAT?
610
00:28:31,776 --> 00:28:35,279
MY GOD, WHAT AM I
GOING TO DO?
611
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,782
HOW ABOUT TRYING TO BEHAVE
LIKE THE BRAVEST MAN IN ALL FRANCE?
612
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:44,288
HANS, I'M STUCK.
613
00:28:44,289 --> 00:28:45,790
GIVE ME A PULL.
614
00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:46,791
YES.
615
00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:49,293
ONE, TWO, THREE,
616
00:28:49,294 --> 00:28:50,795
PULL!
617
00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:57,302
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU
HAVE DONE.
618
00:28:57,302 --> 00:28:58,803
WE ARE TRAPPED,
619
00:28:58,803 --> 00:29:01,305
AND I SUFFER FROM
CLAUSTROPHOBIA.
620
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,308
I HAVE HAD IT
EVER SINCE
621
00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:05,310
MY MOTHER TRIED
TO SMUGGLE ME OUT OF BERLIN
622
00:29:05,310 --> 00:29:06,811
IN A SUITCASE.
623
00:29:06,811 --> 00:29:07,812
WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT?
624
00:29:07,812 --> 00:29:11,315
SO MY FATHER WOULDN'T
FIND OUT ABOUT ME.
625
00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:12,817
GO FORWARD.
626
00:29:14,819 --> 00:29:17,321
I SAY,
THERE ARE SOME MORE COMING.
627
00:29:18,823 --> 00:29:19,824
THEY'RE DRESSED
AS KRAUTS.
628
00:29:19,824 --> 00:29:21,826
THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY ARE KRAUTS.
629
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:24,328
HOLD MY GUN
WHILE I GET OUT.
630
00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:27,832
COLONEL.
631
00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:32,336
THE TUNNEL HAS
COME OUT IN ENGLAND.
632
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:37,842
EVERYONE HERE
IS UNDER ARREST.
633
00:29:37,842 --> 00:29:40,344
Voice over P.A.:
Attention, attention.
634
00:29:40,345 --> 00:29:42,347
Stand by for inspection
635
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:43,848
by General
Von Klinkerhoffen.
636
00:29:43,848 --> 00:29:46,350
Both:
GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN!
637
00:29:46,351 --> 00:29:47,852
THERE IS A GUN
IN YOUR BACK.
638
00:29:47,852 --> 00:29:49,353
IF YOU GIVE US AWAY,
639
00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,356
YOU WILL BE
THE FIRST TO DIE.
640
00:29:51,356 --> 00:29:53,358
DO EXACTLY AS I SAY.
641
00:29:53,358 --> 00:29:55,360
AND LISTEN
VERY CAREFULLY.
642
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,862
SHE WILL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
643
00:30:15,213 --> 00:30:18,216
Voice over P.A.:
Everybody out, everybody out.
644
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:19,717
RAUS, RAUS.
645
00:30:19,717 --> 00:30:21,218
RAUS, RAUS.
646
00:30:23,221 --> 00:30:24,222
RAUS!
647
00:30:26,724 --> 00:30:27,725
MARCH!
648
00:30:30,728 --> 00:30:32,229
Voice over P.A.:
Stand by for inspection
649
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,732
by General
Von Klinkerhoffen.
650
00:30:40,738 --> 00:30:42,740
COMPANY, HUT!
651
00:30:49,247 --> 00:30:52,250
THE BRITISH PRISONERS
OF WAR ARE READY FOR INSPECTION.
652
00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:55,753
THEY DO NOT LOOK
AS THOUGH THEY ARE READY.
653
00:30:55,753 --> 00:30:58,756
THEY ARE A SURLY,
BAD DISCIPLINED RABBLE.
654
00:30:58,756 --> 00:31:00,758
THEY ARE NOT
EASY TO CONTROL.
655
00:31:00,758 --> 00:31:03,260
ALL BRITISH
PRISONERS OF WAR ARE THE SAME.
656
00:31:03,261 --> 00:31:04,262
LEAD THE WAY.
657
00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:11,268
IS EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL?
658
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:12,770
THEY'VE GOT
THE KRAUTS COVERED.
659
00:31:12,770 --> 00:31:14,772
WHAT HAPPENS IF
THEY SPOT ANY OF THEM?
660
00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:17,775
I'VE GIVEN THEM A COUPLE
OF ENGLISH PHRASES TO USE AS A LAST RESORT.
661
00:31:17,775 --> 00:31:18,776
STOP TALKING
IN THE RANKS!
662
00:31:18,776 --> 00:31:21,278
UP YOURS.
663
00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:24,782
- SILENCE!
- SILENCE!
664
00:31:27,285 --> 00:31:29,787
TEMPER, TEMPER.
665
00:31:40,798 --> 00:31:42,299
Fairfax:
HELLO.
666
00:31:45,803 --> 00:31:46,804
HELLO.
667
00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:50,308
BANG ON.
668
00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:54,812
WIZARD PRANG.
669
00:31:54,812 --> 00:31:56,313
PIP, PIP.
670
00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,815
TOODLE-OO.
671
00:31:58,816 --> 00:32:00,317
CHOCKS AWAY.
672
00:32:00,318 --> 00:32:02,320
HELLO, OLD FRUIT.
673
00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:10,828
( "Colonel Bogey March" melody )
♪ HITLER HAS ONLY GOT ONE-- ♪
674
00:32:10,828 --> 00:32:12,329
SILENCE!
675
00:32:13,831 --> 00:32:14,832
SILENCE!
676
00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:20,838
IF THIS IS THE STANDARD
OF BRITISH AIRMEN,
677
00:32:20,838 --> 00:32:23,340
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN
THAT GOERING LOST
678
00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:24,342
THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN?
679
00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:33,851
THAT WAS
A NARROW ESCAPE.
680
00:32:33,851 --> 00:32:35,853
NARROW ESCAPE?
681
00:32:35,853 --> 00:32:39,356
WE ARE LOCKED UP
IN A PRISONER OF WAR CAMP.
682
00:32:39,357 --> 00:32:41,859
AND THE CAFE OPENS
FOR DINNER AT 7:00.
683
00:32:41,859 --> 00:32:42,860
( car engine starts )
684
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:45,362
AND YOUR MOTHER HAS
THE KEYS TO MY TILL.
685
00:32:48,866 --> 00:32:50,367
DRIVE ON!
686
00:32:52,870 --> 00:32:54,872
ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR--
687
00:32:54,872 --> 00:32:58,876
( all whistle
"Colonel Bogey March" )
688
00:33:12,890 --> 00:33:14,892
( theme music playing )