1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,071
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,590
I SHOULD BE TUCKED UP
IN A NICE WARM BED
3
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:26,593
IN MY CAFE
COUNTING SHEEP.
4
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,094
INSTEAD,
I AM STANDING HERE
5
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,595
DISGUISED
AS A MUSHROOM PICKER
6
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,098
COUNTING COWS
GOING THROUGH THIS GATE.
7
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,603
I WILL TELL YOU
A SECRET--
8
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:40,106
NOT ALL OF THESE COWS
ARE COWS.
9
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:43,609
ONE OF THEM CONTAINS
TWO ESCAPING BRITISH AIRMEN.
10
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:47,614
CAN YOU DETECT
WHICH ONE?
11
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,622
Carstairs:
HOLD ON A MINUTE,
12
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,625
I'VE LOST MY WATCH.
13
00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:08,634
THAT WAS NOT
VERY DIFFICULT, WAS IT?
14
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,136
COME!
WE MUST HURRY.
15
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:12,138
THE PLANE
WILL BE HERE IN FOUR MINUTES.
16
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:15,141
WE MUST GET
ACROSS THE ROAD BEHIND THE COPSE.
17
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:24,651
Carstairs:
I HOPE THERE AREN'T ANY BULLS ABOUT.
18
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,654
Fairfax:
I SHOULDN'T WORRY. THE OTHER COWS HAVE
19
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MUCH MORE INTERESTING
BACKSIDES THAN YOURS.
20
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OH HECK, IT IS
A GERMAN PATROL.
21
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:37,163
- WHAT?!
- GET DOWN! HIDE BEHIND THE HEDGE.
22
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:38,164
( blows lamp )
23
00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:46,673
HAVE YOUR GUNS
AT THE READY.
24
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,680
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
25
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,685
I AM A SIMPLE
MILKING MAID.
26
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I AM TAKING THESE COWS
TO THE MEADOW
27
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WHERE THEY WILL EAT
THE GRASS.
28
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,191
THE GREEN GRASS
WILL MAKE THE MILK.
29
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,693
THE MILK WILL MAKE
THE BUTTER.
30
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:10,697
AND THE BUTTER
WE WILL SPREAD ON THE BREAD
31
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,699
OF THE VICTORIOUS
GERMAN SOLDIER.
32
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,701
WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE
33
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,204
AND HE STARTS
A LECTURE ON FARMING.
34
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,205
WE ARE IN NEED
OF SOME MILK.
35
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,707
KURT, LEND ME
YOUR HELMET.
36
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,710
I WILL OBTAIN SOME
FROM THESE COWS.
37
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,713
BUT THEY HAVE
ALREADY BEEN MILKED.
38
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:29,215
WE NEED JUST
A FEW SQUIRTS FOR OUR COFFEE.
39
00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:34,220
OH MY GOD.
40
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,722
THIS APPEARS
TO BE A QUIET ONE.
41
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,225
IF THEY FIND OUT
IT IS A WASHING UP GLOVE
42
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,727
HANGING DOWN THERE,
WE HAVE HAD IT.
43
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,730
( gun cocks )
44
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,733
( guns cock )
45
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:50,236
UNFORTUNATELY,
IT SEEMS TO HAVE VERY SMALL TITTIES.
46
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:00,746
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
47
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,250
COME AWAY FROM THAT COW.
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON PATROL.
48
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,751
I AM SORRY, SERGEANT.
49
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,756
PUT YOUR HELMETS
BACK ON.
50
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,258
GET INTO LINE.
51
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:15,762
QUICK, MARCH!
52
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:30,276
THAT WAS
A NEAR THING.
53
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,278
HE ACTUALLY
GOT HOLD OF IT.
54
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:37,283
OH MY GOD.
55
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:42,789
I WAS SO SCARED,
I HAVE BEEN EATING A TOADSTOOL.
56
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,290
I WILL PROBABLY DIE.
( retches )
57
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,292
BE QUIET.
58
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,294
- ( airplane droning )
- I HEAR THE PLANE.
59
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,795
WE MUST HURRY.
60
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:05,411
Edith:
IT IS A VERY BIG ONE.
61
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,413
I THINK IT IS
A TRANSPORT PLANE.
62
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,416
RENE, HOW CAN THAT
GREAT BIG PLANE
63
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,418
LAND IN THIS
LITTLE FIELD?
64
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,422
IT IS NOT LANDING.
LOOK!
65
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,430
Maria:
THEY HAVE RELEASED TWO PARACHUTES.
66
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:35,441
THEY ARE GOING TO DROP
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WOOD.
67
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:36,442
QUICK!
68
00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,451
THEY MUST HAVE LANDED
SOMEWHERE NEAR HERE.
69
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956
Fairfax:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
70
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,457
I'M GOING NO FURTHER
71
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:55,961
UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME
WHAT'S GOING ON.
72
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,464
I AGREE.
73
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,467
AH, I SEE SOMETHING.
74
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,972
IT IS A COPPER.
75
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,974
I SAY, IS ANYONE
DOWN THERE?
76
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,976
OH MY GOD.
77
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,478
NOT ANOTHER
STUPID ENGLISHMAN!
78
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,481
I SAY,
ARE YOU FROM H.Q.?
79
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,983
WE RATHER THOUGHT
THE PLANE WOULD LAND.
80
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,485
CHANGE OF PLAN.
81
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,488
WE'RE TRYING OUT
A NEW ESCAPE PACKAGE.
82
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:23,989
WE'D BETTER
GET YOU DOWN, I SUPPOSE.
83
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,992
I SEEM TO BE
A BIT STUCK.
84
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,995
IF RENE HELD ME UP
IN HIS STRONG ARMS,
85
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,497
I COULD REACH UP
AND PULL HIM DOWN.
86
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,999
HE COULD HOLD ME
IN HIS STRONG ARMS.
87
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,003
OH, BUT I MIGHT
DROP YOU, PRECIOUS.
88
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,509
COME ALONG.
THIS WAY.
89
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,012
UP YOU GET.
90
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,019
QUICKLY,
MARIA.
91
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,521
( Maria, Rene grunting )
92
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,025
- ( squeals )
- ( rips )
93
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,028
WHAT'S GOING ON,
FAIRFAX?
94
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,529
ONE OF THE BARMAIDS
95
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:06,532
HAS PULLED THE POLICEMAN'S
TROUSERS DOWN.
96
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,534
IT'S ALL A GO,
ISN'T IT?
97
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,537
- Yvette: SOMETHING IS GIVING.
- Rene: WHAT? WHAT?
98
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,044
( all panting )
99
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,552
I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL
RATHER EXCITING.
100
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,054
WHY HAVE THEY SENT US
ANOTHER ENGLISHMAN?
101
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,058
THEY SENT ME OVER
BECAUSE I SPEAK FRENCH.
102
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,060
THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT.
103
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,562
THEY HAVE SENT HIM
BECAUSE HE SPEAKS FRENCH.
104
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,063
- OH!
- AH!
105
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,066
( horrible French accent )
'ALLO, EVERYBODY!
106
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:43,069
AH, TO HEAR
OUR OWN TONGUE.
107
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,577
I HAVE BRUNG GROOTINGS
108
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:54,079
FROM BRITISH ONTELLIGENCE
HEADQUITTERS.
109
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,583
WHAT DOES HE SAY?
110
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,085
I THINK HE BRINGS
GREETINGS
111
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,588
FROM INTELLIGENCE
HEADQUARTERS.
112
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:07,593
I HAVE DISGEESED
AS POLOCEMAN
113
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,597
SO I AM OBLE TO MOVE ABOOT
WITH COMPLETE FRODOM.
114
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,602
DO YOU THINK HE WILL
GET AWAY WITH THAT ACCENT?
115
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:20,105
AS LONG AS HE
DOES NOT SPEAK, YES.
116
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,608
WE WILL TELL EVERYONE
THAT HE COMES
117
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:24,610
FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE
IN THE COUNTRY.
118
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,112
ON THE OUTSKIRTS
OF PEKING.
119
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,616
WE PICKED UP
THIS PACKAGE.
120
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,121
THIS IS
THE ESCOPE POOKAGE.
121
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,124
YOU MUST HEED IT
IN YOUR SEALER.
122
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,627
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- THE ESCAPE PACKAGE.
123
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,629
YOU MUST HIDE IT
IN THE CELLAR.
124
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,131
HOW DOES HE KNOW
I HAVE A CELLAR?
125
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,134
IN LONDON,
WE ARE NOT STEEPID.
126
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,636
WE KNOW EVERY MAUVE
YOU MOOK.
127
00:07:58,611 --> 00:07:59,612
Colonel:
WHO IS IT?
128
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:02,615
IT IS I!
HELGA!
129
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:03,616
ENTER.
130
00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:13,125
- WAS YOUR MISSION SUCCESSFUL?
- YES, COLONEL.
131
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,627
WHAT MISSION WAS THIS?
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT A MISSION.
132
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,130
HANS, I DON'T
TELL YOU EVERYTHING.
133
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,632
THE LESS YOU KNOW ABOUT
SOME THINGS, THE BETTER.
134
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:23,135
COME FORWARD AND STAND
IN FRONT OF ME.
135
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,640
I DON'T WISH ANYONE
TO SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS
136
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,642
WHAT WE ARE UP TO.
137
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,145
NOW...
138
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,646
SHOW ME WHAT
YOU'VE GOT.
139
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,652
GOOD.
PERFECT.
140
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:41,654
COLONEL...
141
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,156
AM I ALLOWED TO SEE
WHAT HELGA HAS GOT?
142
00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:48,660
HELGA HAS A NORMAL
KNOCKWURST.
143
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:52,164
MADE BY A BUTCHER,
WHICH WE'LL BE SENDING TO THE FUHRER.
144
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,166
IT IS VERY SIMPLE.
THE PRICELESS PORTRAIT
145
00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:56,168
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
146
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:58,170
IS CONCEALED INSIDE
A KNOCKWURST,
147
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,172
WHICH IS HIDDEN
IN RENE'S CELLAR.
148
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,674
THE FORGED PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES
149
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,677
IS CONCEALED INSIDE
A SIMILAR KNOCKWURST,
150
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,178
WHICH IS HANGING
IN RENE'S KITCHEN.
151
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:08,180
THE KNOCKWURST
CONCEALED ON MY PERSON
152
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:11,183
IS TO BE SENT TO HERR HITLER,
WHO IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION
153
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:12,684
THAT IT CONTAINS
THE ORIGINAL PAINTING
154
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,187
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
WITH THE BIG BOOBIES.
155
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,189
- WHICH IS IN THE CELLAR.
- WHICH HERR FLICK
156
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,191
OF THE GESTAPO
THINKS IS IN THE KITCHEN.
157
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:21,693
I ONLY ASKED
IF I COULD HAVE A LOOK.
158
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,697
- ( knocks on door )
- WHO IS IT?
159
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:26,699
IT IS ONLY ME,
DEAR COLONEL--
160
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,200
RENE FROM THE CAFE.
161
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,705
( shouts )
COME INSIDE!
162
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,209
WE HAVE GOOD NEWS.
163
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:39,711
HELGA HAS
A NORMAL KNOCKWURST
164
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,213
TO PUT ON THE TRAIN
TO BERLIN
165
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,714
FOR THE FUHRER.
166
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,216
HELGA,
SHOW HIM.
167
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:47,720
THANK YOU.
168
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,222
I MISSED IT AGAIN!
169
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:55,227
COLONEL,
I HAVE BAD NEWS.
170
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,728
THE RESISTANCE,
171
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:58,731
WHO I DO NOT
KNOW VERY WELL,
172
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,733
HAVE REFUSED
TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN.
173
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,235
THIS IS THE TRAIN
CONTAINING THIS KNOCKWURST.
174
00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,237
IT MUST BE BLOWN UP
SO THAT HITLER THINKS
175
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:08,740
- THE PAINTING
HAS BEEN DESTROYED. - I KNOW THAT BIT!
176
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:09,742
WHY DO THEY REFUSE?
177
00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,245
THEY SAY THEY HAVE
A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT,
178
00:10:13,245 --> 00:10:15,747
SOMETHING TO DO
WITH AN AMMUNITION LORRY.
179
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,250
DID YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM
HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS?
180
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,752
YES, OF COURSE,
DEAR COLONEL, BUT,
181
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,756
THEY DO NOT TAKE
ALL THAT MUCH NOTICE OF ME.
182
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,257
WE BARELY NOD
TO EACH OTHER
183
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:27,759
IN THE STREET,
YOU UNDERSTAND?
184
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,763
I COULD TRY
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE--
185
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,765
THEY MIGHT DO IT
FOR MONEY.
186
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,267
PARTY FUNDS ARE VERY LOW,
I HAVE HEARD.
187
00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:38,270
VERY WELL.
GO BACK TO YOUR CAFE
188
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,771
AND SEE WHAT
YOU CAN DO FOR US.
189
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:43,775
COULD YOU JUST LET ME HAVE
A FEW THOUSAND FRANCS
190
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:46,278
TO PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN,
JUST TO SHOW GOOD FAITH?
191
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:47,279
CERTAINLY NOT!
192
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:49,781
YOU PAY THEM AND WE'LL
MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
193
00:10:49,782 --> 00:10:52,785
- YES, COLONEL.
- AND MAKE SURE YOU GET A RECEIPT.
194
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:58,290
NO, I DO NOT WISH
TO GO IN.
195
00:10:58,290 --> 00:10:59,791
PUT ME BY THE TABLE.
196
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:05,798
- Leclerc: YES, MY LITTLE LOVE.
- AND BRING ME A DRINK.
197
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:09,301
BUT FANNY,
WILL YOU NOT BE TOO CHILLY?
198
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:13,305
NO, NOT IF I HAVE
A BIG GIN AND TONIC.
199
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,309
MY LOVE,
MY FLOWER,
200
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,811
I WOULD BUY FOR YOU
THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT...
201
00:11:20,813 --> 00:11:23,816
I DO NOT HAVE
ANY MONEY.
202
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,318
NOW THIS IS
MY DAUGHTER'S CAFE--
203
00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:28,820
WE CAN HAVE
FREEBIES.
204
00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:32,324
HOW MUCH?!
205
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,825
NOW LOOK HERE,
206
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:36,328
IT IS JUST
ONE LITTLE TRAIN.
207
00:11:37,329 --> 00:11:39,331
SURELY YOU COULD
BLOW IT UP
208
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:40,832
FOR A BIT LESS
THAN THAT.
209
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:44,837
IS THAT YOUR
ROCK BOTTOM PRICE?
210
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:45,838
HANG ON A MINUTE.
211
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:56,348
NO, I CANNOT
GO TO THAT.
212
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:59,351
HOW WOULD IT BE
IF WE SUPPLY THE EXPLOSIVES?
213
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,853
NO, I DO NOT WANT
TO LEAVE MY NAME.
214
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:02,855
IT IS JUST
AN ENQUIRY.
215
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,358
HEY, WHO DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE?
216
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:10,362
IT IS I, LECLERC!
217
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:11,363
I KNOW THAT.
218
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:12,364
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
219
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:13,865
HELPING YOURSELF
TO MY GIN?
220
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:17,870
IT IS MY GIN,
FOR MY MAMMA.
221
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,338
GIVE HER A DOUBLE.
222
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,840
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
223
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,843
YOU HAVE AGAIN PARKED
YOUR ARMORED CAR
224
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:25,845
IN MY PLACE
UNDER THE TREE.
225
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,847
I AM MOST SORRY,
COLONEL.
226
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,850
I HAVE JUST POLISHED IT
AND IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN.
227
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,351
I WILL MOVE IT.
228
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,353
NO, WE SHALL ONLY BE HERE
A FEW MINUTES.
229
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:36,355
BUT DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
230
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,358
HEIL HITLER?
231
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:42,361
AND DON'T TRY
TO GET ROUND ME.
232
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:46,865
RENE,
THE NORMAL KNOCKWURST
233
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,367
IS ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
TO BERLIN.
234
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,370
HELGA PUT IT ON
NEXT TO THE AMMUNITION TRUCK.
235
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,873
HERR FLICK SUPERVISED HER
AND THEN SENT A TELEGRAM TO HITLER--
236
00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:56,876
- SIGNED BY THE COLONEL.
- GOOD NEWS, HUH?
237
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,379
NO, UNFORTUNATELY,
I HAVE BAD NEWS.
238
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:03,382
THE COMMUNISTS HAVE REFUSED
TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN.
239
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:04,883
REFUSED TO BLOW UP
THE TRAIN?
240
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,886
WHAT SORT OF COMMUNISTS
ARE YOU DEALING WITH?
241
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,889
WHOEVER HEARD
OF A COMMUNIST WHO WOULDN'T BLOW UP A TRAIN?
242
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,891
THAT MEANS HITLER
WILL RECEIVE
243
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,392
A NORMAL KNOCKWURST.
244
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,894
AND A TELEGRAM
FROM THE COLONEL.
245
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,897
AND HE'LL FIND OUT
THAT YOU NICKED HIS PAINTING.
246
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,900
KNACKERED
BY A KNOCKWURST.
247
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,402
THAT WILL PUT
KAPUT ON MY CAREER.
248
00:13:23,402 --> 00:13:24,903
GIVE ME
A LARGE COGNAC.
249
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:25,905
YES, SIR.
250
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,908
COLONEL, ANTICIPATING
THIS DEVELOPMENT,
251
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:32,411
- I HAVE A FURTHER PLAN
WHICH MAY YET SAVE US. - YOU HAVE?
252
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:34,913
GIVE HER A COGNAC
AS WELL. HERE.
253
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:36,916
RENE!
254
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:46,926
TELL US YOUR PLAN.
255
00:13:46,926 --> 00:13:49,428
BUT TELL IT
A BIT SLOWER THAN LAST TIME.
256
00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:52,431
A 20-MILLIMETER
INCENDIARY SHELL
257
00:13:52,431 --> 00:13:54,933
ACCURATELY FIRED
AT THE AMMUNITION TRUCK
258
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,436
WOULD BLOW IT UP AND ALSO
DEMOLISH THE KNOCKWURST.
259
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,438
THE RESISTANCE
WILL BE BLAMED,
260
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,440
WE ARREST A FEW PEASANTS
AND SHOOT THEM,
261
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,941
AND WE WILL ALL
BE IN THE CLEAR.
262
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:04,944
THAT'S IS ALL
VERY WELL, HELGA,
263
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:07,446
BUT WHERE DO WE GET
A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON?
264
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,947
AND WHO'S GOING
TO FIRE IT?
265
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,951
LIEUTENANT GRUBER
HAS AN ARMORED CAR
266
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,954
ON WHICH IS MOUNTED
A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON.
267
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:19,458
HELLO.
268
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,963
HE'LL NEVER LEND IT.
HE'S VERY STINGY.
269
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,466
HE MIGHT LEND IT
TO RENE.
270
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,468
HE'S VERY FOND
OF HIM.
271
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:32,471
OH YES,
I CAN JUST SEE THAT.
272
00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,972
"GOOD EVENING,
LIEUTENANT GRUBER,
273
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,976
A SMALL SHERRY?
WITH PLEASURE.
274
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,477
BY THE WAY,
LIEUTENANT,
275
00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:41,980
I WONDER IF I MIGHT BORROW
YOUR ARMORED CAR FOR THE EVENING?
276
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,483
NO, THERE IS NO NEED
FOR YOU TO COME WITH ME.
277
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,985
I JUST WISH TO DRIVE IT AROUND
A LITTLE BIT,
278
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,488
SEE IF I CAN
PULL A FEW BIRDS
279
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,490
OR MAYBE SHOOT
A PIGEON OR TWO
280
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,492
WITH A 20-MILLIMETER
SHELL!"
281
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,994
NO, RENE IS RIGHT.
282
00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,497
WE'LL HAVE TO KNOCK IT OFF
WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING.
283
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,499
AND HE WILL BLAME IT
ON THE RESISTANCE.
284
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,001
AND WE CAN JUST SHOOT
ANOTHER COUPLE OF PEASANTS.
285
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,005
IF YOU GO ON AT THIS RATE,
THERE'LL BE NOBODY LEFT IN THE VILLAGE!
286
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:09,508
- IT IS A VERY GOOD PLAN, HELGA.
- IT'S THE ONLY PLAN WE'VE GOT.
287
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:12,010
AS SOON AS IT IS DARK,
WE WILL ACT.
288
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,512
ARE YOU WITH US, RENE?
289
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,016
ALL RIGHT, COLONEL.
290
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,018
I WILL KEEP
LIEUTENANT GRUBER TALKING
291
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:21,020
WHILE YOU NIP OFF,
NICK THE ARMORED CAR,
292
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,521
AND BLOW UP THE TRAIN.
293
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,523
NO, RENE.
I, AS A COLONEL,
294
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:26,525
CANNOT GET INVOLVED
IN A PLAN LIKE THIS.
295
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:30,029
I WILL DISTRACT GRUBER
296
00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:32,031
AND YOU, HANS,
297
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,532
YOU WILL NICK
THE ARMORED CAR.
298
00:15:33,532 --> 00:15:37,536
BUT COLONEL,
I AM A VERY BAD DRIVER.
299
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:40,038
I ONLY HAVE
A PROVISIONAL LICENSE.
300
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,542
IT IS VERY HARD TO SEE
OUT OF THOSE THINGS--
301
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,043
MY GLASSES
WILL STEAM UP.
302
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,046
I WILL GET LOST.
303
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,548
RENE CAN SIT ON TOP,
STICK HIS HEAD THROUGH THE HOLE,
304
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,049
AND GUIDE YOU.
305
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,052
BUT COLONEL,
WOULD IT NOT BE BETTER
306
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,054
IF HELGA DROVE AND THE CAPTAIN
COULD SIT ON TOP
307
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,555
AND STICK
HIS HEAD OUT--
308
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:58,557
I HAVE AN ASSIGNATION
WITH HERR FLICK.
309
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:00,058
CAN YOU NOT
BREAK IT?
310
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:02,061
ONE DOES NOT STAND UP
THE GESTAPO.
311
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,563
- WHAT TIME IS THE TRAIN?
- 10:00.
312
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:07,065
VERY WELL.
WE ALL MEET HERE AT 9:30.
313
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,069
I WILL TAKE CARE
OF GRUBER.
314
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:12,071
YOU ALL TAKE CARE
OF THE TRAIN.
315
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:14,073
GOOD NIGHT, RENE.
GOOD NIGHT, COLONEL.
316
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,574
YOU ARE NOT GOING?
317
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:17,576
NOT IN YOUR
ARMORED CAR?
318
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:20,078
YES, I THINK I WILL
HAVE AN EARLY NIGHT.
319
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,580
NONSENSE.
320
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,582
I HOPE YOU ARE
NOT GOING
321
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,083
BECAUSE I WAS
CROSS WITH YOU.
322
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,088
I WAS A BIT UPSET.
323
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,591
DON'T BE UPSET,
GRUBER.
324
00:16:32,591 --> 00:16:35,594
- WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME?
- HUBERT.
325
00:16:35,594 --> 00:16:38,597
DON'T BE UPSET,
HUBERT.
326
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:39,598
I LIKE YOU.
327
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:41,099
HANS LIKES YOU.
328
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,601
RENE LIKES YOU.
329
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:46,104
AND THE GIRLS,
THEY LIKE YOU, TOO.
330
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:47,106
I TELL YOU WHAT--
331
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,108
COME ROUND HERE
ABOUT 9:30,
332
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,110
AND WE'LL HAVE
DINNER TOGETHER.
333
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,612
AND BRING
YOUR ARMORED CAR.
334
00:16:53,612 --> 00:16:55,113
SUDDENLY I AM
FEELING BETTER.
335
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,117
SUDDENLY I AM
FEELING WORSE.
336
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,620
CAN I HELP YOU,
OFFICER?
337
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,624
AN OLDERLY LODY OUTSIDE
IN A BETH CHAIR
338
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,125
HAS BEEN HITTING
THE BOOTLE.
339
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,632
- WHAT?
- HER IS DRUNK.
340
00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,634
HER IS POST
AS A NEWT.
341
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:18,637
OH MY GOD!
342
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:22,641
- BOCHE SWINE!
- FANNY, NO, NO, NO!
343
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:24,142
HEIL HITLER!
344
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,145
YOU SHALL NOT
ENTER THE CAFE OF MY DAUGHTER.
345
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,147
FANNY, PLEASE,
DO NOT TAKE ON SO,
346
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,649
WE'LL ALL FINISH UP
IN THE COOLER!
347
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,651
STOP IT,
YOU SILLY OLD BAT!
348
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:33,652
THESE ARE
MY CUSTOMERS.
349
00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:36,154
ARE YOU TRYING
TO RUIN MY BUSINESS?
350
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:39,158
IT IS MY DAUGHTER'S
BUSINESS.
351
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:41,160
YOU ARE ON THE WAY OUT!
352
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,661
GET HER INSIDE,
PLEASE?!
353
00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:44,663
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN.
YOUR TABLE IS READY.
354
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,164
STOP!
GENTLEMEN!
355
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:48,167
PLEASE, COME BACK,
GENTLEMEN.
356
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,668
SHE IS POTTY
IN THE HEAD.
357
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:53,171
I HAVE YOUR WINDOW TABLE
FOR YOU, PLEASE...
358
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,673
DON'T WORRY, RENE.
359
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,174
HUBERT AND I
WILL TAKE IT.
360
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,677
WON'T WE, HUBERT?
361
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,178
YOU ARE MOST KIND,
COLONEL.
362
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,181
CAN I GIVE ANYONE A LIFT?
363
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:05,684
GIVE HANS A LIFT,
LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR CANNON.
364
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:07,686
COME ALONG THEN,
CAPTAIN.
365
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,188
I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT FUN
AN ARMORED CAR CAN BE.
366
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,692
9:30, RENE.
367
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:14,693
WATER THE WINE,
368
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:17,696
AND TAKE THE FLOWERS
OFF THE TABLE.
369
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,698
I SPIT ON YOU!
370
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,199
GERMAN PIG!
371
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:29,074
10 MINUTES IS UP.
372
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:32,077
YOU MAY NOW COME OUT
OF THE CORNER.
373
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,081
YES, HERR FLICK.
374
00:18:39,084 --> 00:18:41,586
LET THAT BE
A LESSON TO YOU.
375
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,590
NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU
BURN MY TOAST.
376
00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:49,094
YES, HERR FLICK.
MAY I SIT?
377
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,595
YES.
378
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:54,600
YOU MAY CONTINUE
WITH YOUR TEA.
379
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,103
I HAVE KEPT YOUR EGG WARM
UNDER THE COZY.
380
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,609
YOU HAVE A VERY KIND STREAK
IN YOUR NATURE.
381
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:06,612
I NEARLY FAILED
MY GESTAPO EXAMS
382
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,113
BECAUSE OF IT.
383
00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:10,615
IT IS A VERY STRONG SHELL.
384
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:13,118
HIT IT HARD
WITH YOUR SPOON.
385
00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:16,621
THEY ALWAYS BREAK
IN THE END.
386
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:19,124
YOU ARE LOOKING PENSIVE,
HERR FLICK.
387
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,626
I AM TRYING TO DECIDE
388
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,629
WHAT TO DO
WITH YOU TONIGHT.
389
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,631
I SEE, HERR FLICK.
390
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,133
I MIGHT TAKE YOU
TO THE MOVIES.
391
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,134
WHAT IS SHOWING?
392
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,136
ANYTHING WE LIKE.
393
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:36,642
OR WE COULD STAY HERE
AND AMUSE OURSELVES.
394
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:39,645
I HAVE A BOX
OF SHARP NEEDLES SOMEWHERE.
395
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:44,649
AHH, HERE THEY ARE.
396
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,652
WHAT HAVE YOU
IN MIND, HERR FLICK?
397
00:19:46,652 --> 00:19:50,155
I HAVE
AN EXCELLENT GRAMOPHONE,
398
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:52,657
AND MANY RECORDS
OF HITLER'S SPEECHES.
399
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:55,661
THEY ARE QUITE AMUSING.
400
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:58,163
HITLER'S SPEECHES,
QUITE AMUSING?
401
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:01,166
PLAYED AT DOUBLE SPEED,
402
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,170
HE SOUNDS LIKE DONALD DUCK.
403
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:10,175
♪ JUST SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪
404
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,177
♪ IN THE BACK ROOM WILL HAVE ♪
405
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:14,679
♪ AND TELL THEM I SIGHED ♪
406
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,683
♪ AND TELL THEM I CRIED ♪
407
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,685
♪ AND TELL THEM I DIED ♪
408
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:24,189
♪ OF THE SAAA-AAAME. ♪
409
00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:26,691
( silent response )
410
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,694
THANK YOU FOR YOUR
KIND APPLAUSE.
411
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:32,197
NOW, PLEASE,
WILL YOU SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION
412
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:34,199
FOR OUR PIANIST,
MONSIEUR LECLERC?
413
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,705
THE LIEUTENANT
IS HERE.
414
00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:42,708
COLONEL?
415
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:44,710
COLONEL!
416
00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:49,214
I'M SORRY, RENE.
THE CHEESE, YOU KNOW?
417
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:50,715
LOOK.
418
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,219
I WILL
TAKE CARE OF HIM.
419
00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:55,720
YOU AND HANS
KNOW WHAT TO DO?
420
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:58,223
I AM SORRY
I AM LATE, COLONEL.
421
00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:00,225
PERHAPS YOUR ARMORED CAR
WOULD NOT START,
422
00:21:00,225 --> 00:21:01,726
YOU HAD TO LEAVE IT
AT THE BARRACKS?
423
00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,228
SHE STARTED
ON THE BUTTON.
424
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:05,230
BUT SHE WAS NEARLY
OUT OF GASOLINE.
425
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,731
- GOOD.
- SO I FILLED HER UP.
426
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,734
THAT'S OUR TABLE
OVER THERE.
427
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:11,737
OH, HOW COZY.
428
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,239
TAKE THIS.
429
00:21:16,742 --> 00:21:18,744
RENE, HANS,
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
430
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:21,246
- GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
- COLONEL...
431
00:21:21,246 --> 00:21:23,248
HE HAS JUST
TAKEN THE FLOWERS
432
00:21:23,248 --> 00:21:25,750
FROM THE NEXT TABLE.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO.
433
00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:30,255
CAPTAIN.
434
00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:33,258
DEAR COLONEL,
WOULD YOU PREFER
435
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:35,260
YOUR BACK TO THE WALL
OR THE ROOM?
436
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:37,262
I THINK THE WALL.
437
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:41,766
SIT DOWN, HUBERT,
438
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:44,269
AND TELL ME ALL
ABOUT YOURSELF.
439
00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,771
WELL, IT HAS BEEN
A HARD DAY.
440
00:21:46,772 --> 00:21:48,774
I AM QUITE HOARSE,
YOU KNOW,
441
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,275
FROM ORDERING
SOLDIERS ABOUT.
442
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:53,278
YES, IT'S HARD BEING
A GERMAN OFFICER,
443
00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:55,780
ALL THAT SHOUTING
AND STAMPING OF FEET.
444
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,783
PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND,
DO THEY?
445
00:21:57,783 --> 00:21:59,785
I FEAR THEY DO NOT.
446
00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:06,525
DO WE HAVE A KEY
OR A TIN OPENER?
447
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:10,028
THEY DO NOT LOCK.
AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD NICK AN ARMORED CAR?
448
00:22:16,034 --> 00:22:17,535
WEAR THIS.
449
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:18,537
WHAT FOR?
450
00:22:18,537 --> 00:22:20,539
IF THE RESISTANCE TAKE
A POT SHOT AT YOU
451
00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,542
- IT WILL BOUNCE OFF.
- BOUNCE OFF?!
452
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,044
I AM NOT STICKING
MY HEAD OUT OF THERE.
453
00:22:26,044 --> 00:22:27,045
I'LL DRIVE.
454
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,562
START THE ENGINE!
455
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,063
KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
456
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:46,564
SORRY.
457
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,068
IT IS THAT LITTLE KNOB
IN FRONT.
458
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:53,071
( engine cranks )
459
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:55,073
GIVE IT A BIT MORE CHOKE.
460
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,577
( engine starts )
461
00:22:58,577 --> 00:22:59,578
FORWARD!
462
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:05,584
I SAID FORWARD,
YOU ARE GOING BACKWARDS!
463
00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:10,088
DID I HIT SOMETHING?
464
00:23:10,088 --> 00:23:12,590
THE COLONEL'S CAR!
465
00:23:12,591 --> 00:23:13,592
HE WILL DO HIS NUT.
466
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,597
NEVER MIND.
467
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,099
HE WILL BLAME
THE RESISTANCE
468
00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:23,101
AND SHOOT A COUPLE
OF PEASANTS.
469
00:23:23,101 --> 00:23:25,103
WHAT AM I SAYING?
470
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:27,105
HOW EASY IT IS
TO SLIP INTO THE WAYS
471
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,606
OF BEING A NAZI.
472
00:23:33,111 --> 00:23:35,613
AH, GOOD EVENING,
COLONEL.
473
00:23:35,614 --> 00:23:38,617
WAS EVERYTHING
TO YOUR SATISFACTION?
474
00:23:38,617 --> 00:23:40,619
UP TO A POINT.
475
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,621
YOU KNOW ME, YVETTE.
476
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:44,623
COLONEL...
477
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:48,126
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO SIT UPON YOUR... KNEE?
478
00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:50,128
THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A BIT OF FUN,
479
00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,629
DOESN'T IT, HUBERT?
480
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,632
IF YOU SAY SO, COLONEL.
481
00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:57,636
SHALL I REST
ON YOUR KNEE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER?
482
00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:59,137
WELL...
483
00:23:59,137 --> 00:24:01,139
GO ON, HUBERT.
YOU'RE IN THE TANK CORPS.
484
00:24:01,139 --> 00:24:03,141
IT'LL BE GOOD
FOR YOUR IMAGE.
485
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:12,651
ARE THE DROVER
OF ARMORED CURR 4219 ON THE CAFE?
486
00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:15,153
4219? THAT IS
MY ARMORED CAR.
487
00:24:15,153 --> 00:24:18,656
IT HAS BEEN
DROVEN AWAR BY TWO MIN.
488
00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:20,158
YOU FOOL!
489
00:24:20,158 --> 00:24:22,160
MY ARMORED CAR
IS STOLEN?!
490
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,661
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, HUBERT.
491
00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:25,163
IT'S PROBABLY
SOME LOCAL BOYS
492
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:26,664
PLAYING A LITTLE PRANK.
493
00:24:26,665 --> 00:24:29,167
I MUST REPORT IT AT ONCE
TO MY HEADQUARTERS.
494
00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:31,169
JUST THINK HOW CROSS
THEY WILL BE
495
00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:33,671
WHEN THEY'VE
FOUND OUT YOU'VE LOST YOUR ARMORED CAR.
496
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:36,174
BELIEVE ME,
IT'LL COME BACK IF YOU'RE PATIENT.
497
00:24:36,174 --> 00:24:38,176
BUT WHAT IF
IT DOES NOT?
498
00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:40,178
AND WHAT AM I DOING
HOLDING THIS GIRL?
499
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:41,179
AARGHH!
500
00:24:41,179 --> 00:24:43,681
I KNOW, I WILL
REPORT IT AT ONCE
501
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:45,183
TO HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO.
502
00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:47,185
HE WILL MAKE
DISCREET ENQUIRIES.
503
00:24:48,687 --> 00:24:50,188
HE OWES ME A FAVOR.
504
00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:59,197
WHY HAVE WE LEFT
THE MAIN ROAD?
505
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:02,200
A MOTORCYCLE
WAS FOLLOWING US.
506
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,203
DON'T WORRY, THIS LANE
LEADS TO THE RAILWAY LINE.
507
00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:09,207
IS HE STILL
FOLLOWING?
508
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:11,209
JUST A MINUTE,
I WILL HAVE A LOOK.
509
00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:15,213
- ( metal clangs )
- Hans: OOOF!
510
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:18,216
CAN YOU SEE
THE MOTORCYCLE?
511
00:25:20,218 --> 00:25:21,719
NOT AT THE MOMENT.
512
00:25:23,722 --> 00:25:27,225
( record playing
at high speed )
513
00:25:35,734 --> 00:25:39,237
( high speed anthem playing )
514
00:25:39,237 --> 00:25:40,238
( phone rings )
515
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:41,739
STOP THE MACHINE!
516
00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:45,243
( rings )
517
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:49,247
FLICK-- THE GESTAPO.
518
00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:51,749
NO, I SAID,
FLICK, THE GESTAPO.
519
00:25:55,754 --> 00:25:56,755
YES, GRUBER.
520
00:25:59,758 --> 00:26:01,760
YES, GRUBER.
521
00:26:03,261 --> 00:26:05,263
YES, GRUBER.
522
00:26:05,263 --> 00:26:07,265
YOU ARE VERY CARELESS!
523
00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:09,767
STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
I WILL COME AT ONCE.
524
00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,770
YOU WILL COME WITH ME.
525
00:26:16,274 --> 00:26:19,277
HOLD MY SCHMEISSER WHILE
I REMOVE MY CARPET SLIPPERS.
526
00:26:27,285 --> 00:26:28,786
I CAN SEE
THE RAILWAY LINE.
527
00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:30,789
STOP HERE.
528
00:26:37,295 --> 00:26:39,297
( train chugging faintly )
529
00:26:39,297 --> 00:26:40,798
I CAN HEAR
THE TRAIN COMING.
530
00:26:40,799 --> 00:26:43,301
OH, DEAR.
PASS ME A SHELL.
531
00:26:43,301 --> 00:26:46,304
- WELL, WHERE ARE THEY?
- THEY MUST BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE.
532
00:26:46,304 --> 00:26:47,805
TRY THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.
533
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:52,310
HAVE YOU FOUND
ANYTHING?
534
00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:54,312
JUST SOME
LADIES UNDERWEAR--
535
00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:56,314
AND SOME SHAVING LOTION.
536
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:57,815
( train whistles )
537
00:26:57,816 --> 00:26:59,818
AH, I HAVE ONE.
538
00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:01,319
GOOD.
WELL, HURRY UP.
539
00:27:01,319 --> 00:27:02,820
IT IS GETTING NEARER.
540
00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:04,823
I THINK IT IS LOADED.
NOW, I HAVE TO AIM
541
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:07,325
FOR THE THIRD WAGON
FROM THE END.
542
00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:09,827
- YES, GOOD LUCK.
- PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS.
543
00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:11,329
THERE MAY BE A BIG BANG.
544
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:14,832
I CAN SEE IT.
545
00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:16,835
ONE, TWO, THREE...
546
00:27:16,835 --> 00:27:17,836
THAT'S THE ONE.
547
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:25,844
MISSED!
548
00:27:26,845 --> 00:27:28,847
QUICK,
ANOTHER SHELL.
549
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:32,350
CAN YOU GET
A LITTLE BIT NEARER?
550
00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,352
NO, I CAN NOT.
551
00:27:34,352 --> 00:27:37,855
ONE, TWO THREE...
552
00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:38,857
( cannon fires )
553
00:27:43,361 --> 00:27:45,863
YOU HAVE BLOWN UP
THE SIGNAL BOX.
554
00:27:45,864 --> 00:27:48,366
I THINK
THE BARREL IS BENT.
555
00:27:48,366 --> 00:27:50,368
THERE GOES
THE TRAIN.
556
00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:52,370
THERE GOES
HITLER'S SAUSAGE.
557
00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:55,373
DO YOU THINK
WE SHOULD CATCH IT UP FURTHER DOWN THE LINE?
558
00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:56,874
NO,
559
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,877
THE WAY I DRIVE,
I WOULD NEVER CATCH IT.
560
00:27:58,877 --> 00:28:01,379
AND THE WAY YOU SHOOT,
YOU WOULD NEVER HIT IT.
561
00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:03,381
I THINK WE GO HOME.
562
00:28:07,385 --> 00:28:10,388
( theme music playing )