1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:07,073 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,092 YOU ARE PROBABLY WONDERING WHAT I AM DOING 3 00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:29,095 IN THE LARDER OF MY CAFE, SITTING NEXT TO THE BRIE. 4 00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,097 WELL, I WILL TELL YOU. 5 00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:33,599 I AM VERY FOND OF BRIE. 6 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:37,103 ALSO MY WIFE EDITH IS A VERY JEALOUS WOMAN. 7 00:00:37,103 --> 00:00:39,605 AND THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN MEET MARIA. 8 00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:43,109 NOW, MARIA... WELL, MARIA IS IN LOVE WITH ME. 9 00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,611 SO WHENEVER I CAN, I MEET HER HERE 10 00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:46,613 FOR A SHORT CUDDLE 11 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,115 AND A LITTLE NIBBLE AT THE BRIE. 12 00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:52,118 AH! MARIA, MY LITTLE CABBAGE. 13 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:53,619 OH, RENE, MY SPRING ONION. 14 00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,121 HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE MILKING STOOL? 15 00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,122 HERE. 16 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,623 THEN STAND ON IT. 17 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,627 OHH! 18 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,129 RENE... 19 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,132 YOU HAVE STARTED WITHOUT ME. 20 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:07,633 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 21 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,136 BECAUSE THERE'S BRIE ON YOUR MOUSTACHE. 22 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,637 OH. 23 00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,139 - RENE? - HMM? 24 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,141 WILL WE GET MARRIED WHEN THE WAR IS OVER? 25 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,643 WHILE THE BELLS OF VICTORY 26 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,145 ARE STILL SOUNDING. 27 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,147 OH, RENE, YOU ARE SO ROMANTIC. 28 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,648 I KNOW, I KNOW. 29 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,651 ARE YOU SURE NOBODY KNOWS WE ARE HERE? 30 00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,152 NOBODY! 31 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,653 - PSST! RENE. - OH! 32 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,656 DO NOT WORRY, 33 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,658 IT IS MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE. 34 00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:32,659 SHE WILL REPEAT NOTHING. 35 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,661 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 36 00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,663 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 37 00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,166 YOUR NEW RADIO TRANSMITTER 38 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,667 IS BEING DELIVERED TO THE CAFE TODAY. 39 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,170 IT WILL BE CARRIED BY MONSIEUR LECLERC, 40 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,172 DISGUISED AS A CHEESE SALESMAN. 41 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:50,676 HE WILL BE THE BEARER OF A SUITCASE CONTAINING CHEESE. 42 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,178 HOW WILL HE CARRY THE RADIO? 43 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,680 HE HAS A FALSE BOTTOM. 44 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,184 WHY THEN DOES HE NEED THE SUITCASE? 45 00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:01,687 THE FALSE BOTTOM IS IN THE SUITCASE. 46 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,189 THE CHEESE IS IN THE TOP. 47 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,191 THE RADIO TRANSMITTER IS IN THE SECRET COMPARTMENT. 48 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,692 WHAT DO I DO WITH IT? 49 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:09,195 HIDE IT UNDER THE BED OF YOUR WIFE'S MOTHER. 50 00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,697 IF I PUT THE CHEESE UNDER THE BED OF MY WIFE'S MOTHER, 51 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,700 SHE WILL END UP FIGHTING THE MICE FOR IT. 52 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,702 THEN PUT IT IN HERE. 53 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:17,704 BUT I'VE ALREADY ORDERED MY CHEESE-- 54 00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,706 IT'S FOR THE WEEK! I WILL BE OVERSTOCKED. 55 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:22,208 THEN MAKE CHEESE OMELETS OR CHEESE SOUFFLES. 56 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,210 HAVE A FONDUE PARTY. 57 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,712 IT IS FAR TOO LATE TO TURN MONSIEUR LECLERC 58 00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,214 INTO A BRUSH SALESMAN. 59 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:31,718 - SHE HAS GONE. - YES. 60 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,720 THE RESISTANCE, THEY MAKE THESE PLANS 61 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,722 BUT THEY DO NOT THINK THEM THROUGH. 62 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,223 Edith: MARIA! 63 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,725 IT IS MY WIFE. OUR TIME IS UP. 64 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:40,727 CAN YOU COME BACK TOMORROW? 65 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,729 OF COURSE. 66 00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:45,731 OH, DO NOT FORGET THE MILKING STOOL. 67 00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,234 OF COURSE NOT. 68 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,245 OH! THAT GIRL! 69 00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:01,247 ALWAYS SHE IS MISSING. 70 00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,754 - RENE? - HMM? 71 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,757 YOU MUST SPEAK TO THAT GIRL, MARIA. 72 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:13,259 ALWAYS SHE IS TAKING OFF THE TIME. 73 00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,261 SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE IT OFF WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. 74 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,264 SHE DOESN'T. 75 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,266 RENE, 76 00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:21,767 YOU'RE WANTED IN THE BACK ROOM. 77 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,771 EDITH, WIPE THE BAR DOWN. 78 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,774 SET AN EXAMPLE TO THE STAFF, EH? 79 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:30,777 'ALLO? 80 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,278 IS ANYONE HIDING? 81 00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,280 DOES SOMEBODY WANT ME? 82 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,781 YES, I DO! 83 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,284 YVETTE, MY LITTLE CABBAGE. 84 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,786 RENE, MY BIG SPROUT. 85 00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:43,790 PARSNIP. 86 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291 CARROT. 87 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,293 - BROCCOLI. - CURLY KALE. 88 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,295 OOH! OOH! 89 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,797 WHEN WE ARE TOO OLD TO MAKE LOVE, 90 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,800 WE WILL MAKE WONDERFUL SOUP. 91 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:58,805 RENE, YOU WILL MARRY ME AFTER THE WAR IS OVER? 92 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,807 WHILE THE BELLS OF VICTORY 93 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,809 ARE STILL SOUNDING. 94 00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:07,313 OH, RENE, YOU HAVE A SMALL PIECE OF BRIE ON YOUR MOUSTACHE. 95 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,315 THAT IS BECAUSE I JUST HAD 96 00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,816 A LITTLE BIT IN THE LARDER. 97 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,320 RENE! 98 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,822 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARMS AROUND YVETTE? 99 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,826 YOU STUPID WOMAN! 100 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,828 THERE IS ONLY ONE THING I POSSIBLY COULD BE DOING 101 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,329 WITH MY ARMS AROUND YVETTE. 102 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:25,831 I AM TEACHING HER SELF-DEFENSE. 103 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,333 THOSE GERMANS IN THERE, 104 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,835 THEY GET DRUNK, AND THEY JUMP ON THESE GIRLS. 105 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:30,837 I WAS-- I WAS TRYING TO TEACH HER 106 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,839 HOW TO FIGHT THEM OFF. 107 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,842 NOW, YVETTE, I AM A DRUNKEN GERMAN. 108 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,844 YOU SHOW MY WIFE WHAT YOU WOULD DO TO ME. 109 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:38,845 ARE YOU SURE? 110 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:39,846 YES, GO ON. GO ON. 111 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,351 OH-HH! 112 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,852 THAT IS VERY GOOD! 113 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:48,855 SHOW ME AGAIN. 114 00:04:48,855 --> 00:04:50,356 HYAH-- 115 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:51,857 LATER, LATER! 116 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,860 BUT A DRUNKEN GERMAN MAY ATTACK ME. 117 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,361 WE WOULD STOP SERVING HIM 118 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,364 BEFORE HE WAS THAT FAR GONE. 119 00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:00,366 OH, DEAR RENE, 120 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,868 ALWAYS HE HAS ME IN HIS MIND. 121 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,371 I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. 122 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,373 THE COLONEL IS IN THE CAFE. 123 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,874 HE WISHES TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU. 124 00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:10,877 IN A LITTLE WHILE. 125 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,879 MY HERNIA IS GIVING ME GYP. 126 00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,881 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AN HERNIA. 127 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,383 UP TILL NOW, I DIDN'T. 128 00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:20,386 THIS NEW CHAP WHO IS RUNNING THE BAR-- 129 00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,388 - RENE'S TWIN BROTHER. - FROM NANCY. 130 00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,890 THEY ARE ASTONISHINGLY SIMILAR. 131 00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,893 THAT IS TWINS ALL OVER. 132 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:29,395 IF ANYTHING, THE NEW ONE IS EVEN MORE CHARMING 133 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:30,396 THAN HIS BROTHER. 134 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:31,397 THE ONE THAT YOU SHOT. 135 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,900 YES. 136 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,402 I DON'T THINK HE BEARS YOU A GRUDGE. 137 00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,404 QUITE THE REVERSE! 138 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,906 HE APPEARS TO BE VERY WARM AND FRIENDLY. 139 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,409 HE IS EVEN ORDERING FOR ME MY FAVORITE CIGARS. 140 00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:48,448 GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN, HELGA. 141 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,950 YOU WISH TO SEE ME, COLONEL? 142 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,952 UH, YES, A WORD IN PRIVATE. 143 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,454 LIEUTENANT GRUBER, LEAVE US ALONE FOR A SHORT WHILE. 144 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,957 RENE AND I HAVE A SMALL MATTER TO DISCUSS. 145 00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:58,958 OF COURSE. 146 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,462 SIT DOWN, RENE. 147 00:06:02,462 --> 00:06:03,463 YES, COLONEL. 148 00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,465 NOW... 149 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,467 TOMORROW AT MIDDAY, 150 00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:08,968 HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO 151 00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,971 WILL PUT THE PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 152 00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,973 ON THE TRAIN TO BERLIN. 153 00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,976 HERR HITLER HAS TOLD HIMMLER 154 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,978 TO PICK IT UP HIMSELF. 155 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:21,981 HE IS GOING TO GIVE IT TO EVA FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 156 00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:24,483 I MUST GET THE FORGERY OUT OF YOUR CELLAR 157 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,985 AND PUT IT IN ITS PLACE. 158 00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,987 BUT I HAVE ONLY JUST BRICKED IT UP! 159 00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:30,489 OH, WELL, 10 MINUTES WITH A PICKAX 160 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,991 AND IT IS YOURS AGAIN. 161 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,493 ALSO, YOUR NEW UNIFORMS ARE IN MY WARDROBE. 162 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:35,495 LEAVE THEM THERE. 163 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,996 THEY WILL COME IN USEFUL LATER. 164 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,498 NOW, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT WE DO. 165 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:42,001 TONIGHT, ON MY ORDERS, 166 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,502 YOU WILL CLOSE YOUR CAFE. 167 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,505 FOR MY PRIVATE PARTY 168 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,507 TO CELEBRATE THE ANNIVERSARY 169 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:50,009 OF THE BURNING DOWN OF THE REICHSTAG. 170 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,511 EVERY YEAR WE HAVE A BIG BINGE. 171 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:56,015 I SEE, AND WHAT HAPPENS AT THIS "BIG BINGE"? 172 00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:57,516 WE DRINK A LOT OF BEER. 173 00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,019 THE GIRLS PUT ON CLOTHES LIKE... 174 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:03,022 HITLER YOUTH, AND THEN WE ALL DO 175 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:06,525 TRADITIONAL OLD BAVARIAN DANCING. 176 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,528 THE GIRLS HAVE BARE KNEES. 177 00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:12,531 THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF FUN. 178 00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,033 IT IS. 179 00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,034 HOW DOES IT HELP US GET BACK 180 00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:16,535 THE PAINTING OF THE MADONNA WITH THE-- 181 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:19,038 WHILE HERR FLICK IS ENJOYING HIMSELF, 182 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,540 THE PAINTINGS WILL BE... 183 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,542 SWITCHED. 184 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,043 BUT HOW CAN YOU BE SURE HERR FLICK 185 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,045 WILL ACCEPT YOUR INVITATION? 186 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,547 THAT IS WHERE BRAINS COME IN. 187 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,550 THAT IS WHY HE IS A COLONEL. 188 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:34,053 HELGA WILL GIVE HIM INFORMATION ABOUT THE PARTY... 189 00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,555 AND TELL HIM HE'S NOT INVITED. 190 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,057 I ONLY HAVE TO HINT, AND HE WILL... 191 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:40,059 DRAG IT OUT OF ME. 192 00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:43,062 Colonel: THIS WILL AROUSE HIS SUSPICION. 193 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:45,564 THIS WILL AROUSE HIS SUSPICION, 194 00:07:45,565 --> 00:07:47,567 AND HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO STAY AWAY. 195 00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:51,070 AH, I HAVE JUST ONE QUESTION THEN, COLONEL. 196 00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:53,572 - WHO IS PAYING FOR THIS PARTY? - WE ARE. 197 00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:57,076 IT IS COMING OUT OF THE ARMORED CAR REPAIR FUND. 198 00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,079 BUT COLONEL, FOR BARE KNEES, 199 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:01,580 MY GIRLS CHARGE EXTRA. 200 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,583 IT WILL BE WORTH IT. HEH, HEH! 201 00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,585 TO GET BACK THE PAINTING. 202 00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,087 IN THAT CASE, MY GIRLS WILL COOPERATE 203 00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:10,589 AND YOU SHALL HAVE MY VERY BEST ATTENTION. 204 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,592 UH, YOU WILL NOT BE HERE. 205 00:08:12,592 --> 00:08:14,594 NO, UNDER COVER OF THE PARTY, 206 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,596 YOU WILL BE AT HERR FLICK'S HEADQUARTERS 207 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:18,097 SWITCHING THE PAINTINGS. 208 00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:21,100 COLONEL, THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE BIT RISKY-- 209 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:24,103 THE WAY WE WILL ARRANGE IT, THERE WILL BE NO RISK AT ALL. 210 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,605 THAT BEING THE CASE, WHY DO YOU NOT DO IT YOURSELVES? 211 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,107 WE HAVE TO GIVE THE PARTY. 212 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,608 WELL, I COULD GIVE THE PARTY. 213 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,110 AH, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW 214 00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,112 OLD TRADITIONAL BAVARIAN DANCING. 215 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:34,613 I COULD LEARN. I'M VERY QUICK. 216 00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:36,115 YOU THINK SO? 217 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,616 SHOW HIM! 218 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:39,118 OH. 219 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,619 ONE, TWO, THREE. 220 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,636 WELL, I SUPPOSE IT COULD TAKE TIME. 221 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:01,140 HELGA, GO AT ONCE TO HERR FLICK 222 00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,642 AND LET HIM WRRR-RING THE INFORMATION OUT OF YOU. 223 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,644 YES, COLONEL. 224 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:11,150 ( bell jingling ) 225 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,651 CHEEE-SES! 226 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,153 CHEESES. 227 00:09:14,153 --> 00:09:16,655 AH, I SEE A TYPICAL CHEESE SALESMAN 228 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:19,158 ENTERING MY CAFE. 229 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,160 EXCUSE ME. 230 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,161 THANK YOU, YES. 231 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:23,662 BRIE AND CHEESES, WHO WILL BUY-- 232 00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:25,164 - SHUT UP. - --MY CHEESES? 233 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,166 ( shouting ) SHUT UP! 234 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:30,669 HA HA, THANK YOU, CHEESE SELLER. 235 00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,673 I AM PREPARED TO PURCHASE ALL YOUR WARES. 236 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,677 HOW VERY FORTUNATE. 237 00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,678 YES. 238 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:42,181 NEVER BEFORE HAVE I HAD SUCH A GOOD DAY 239 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,682 FOR SELLING THE CHEESES. 240 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:45,184 GOOD, GOOD. 241 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:48,187 THAT MEANS YOU CAN GO HOME WITHOUT DELAY. 242 00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:52,691 IT IS I, LECLERC. 243 00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:54,193 WELL, I NEVER. 244 00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,198 THE RADIO IS ALREADY CONNECTED. 245 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,700 AND THE SPARE BATTERY 246 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:04,704 IS IN THE DUTCH EDAM WITH THE KNOBS ON. 247 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:15,214 THE FACE OF THAT CHEESE SELLER SEEMS STRANGELY FAMILIAR. 248 00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:18,217 AH, YEAH, W-- YEAH, WELL-- 249 00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:20,219 IT IS A VERY SMALL VILLAGE, 250 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,222 AND WE DO A LOT OF INTERBREEDING. 251 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:25,724 I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A LUXURY FOR ME. 252 00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,226 HUH? OH, YES! 253 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:29,228 A LITTLE PACKET OF YOUR FAVORITE CIGARS. 254 00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:31,730 YES, I PUT-- EXCUSE ME. 255 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,734 SO MUCH TROUBLE. IT IS MOST TOUCHING. 256 00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:35,735 THANK YOU. 257 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,236 ( radio whistling ) 258 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,241 ( whistling ) 259 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,747 I-- I DO NOT KNOW THIS TUNE. 260 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,248 ( kicks ) 261 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:50,749 ( radio noise stops ) 262 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,252 I DO NOT KNOW IT ALL THAT WELL MYSELF. 263 00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,255 CHEERS. 264 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,256 ( flatulent sound ) 265 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:04,763 I BEG YOUR PARDON. 266 00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,771 Radio: Pierre is enjoying his new bicycle. 267 00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,272 ( kicks ) 268 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,776 I AM GLAD TO HEAR THIS. 269 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,278 WHO IS PIERRE? 270 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,781 OH, HE'S-- HE'S JUST A YOUNG LAD IN THE VILLAGE. 271 00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,283 DID YOU GIVE HIM THE BICYCLE? 272 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,784 NO! NO! 273 00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,287 THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME HE IS ENJOYING IT? 274 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:32,291 WELL... THERE IS SO LITTLE TO ENJOY THESE DAYS, 275 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,793 I WAS JUST MAKING CONVERSATION. 276 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,299 Radio: Phillip and Jean are going for a swim. 277 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:41,300 SHUT UP. 278 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,304 AH, INDEED. 279 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:48,307 ARE THEY FRIENDS OF PIERRE? 280 00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,310 WELL, I-- I EXPECT SO. 281 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,312 IT'S A VERY SMALL PLACE, 282 00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,814 AND THERE IS ONLY ONE RIVER. 283 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:58,818 Radio: Eloise is expecting a visit 284 00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:00,820 from the stork. 285 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,323 OH, DEAR. 286 00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:06,325 WHO-- WHO IS RESPONSIBLE? 287 00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,827 I EXPECT IT IS PIERRE. 288 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,831 HE HAS THE BICYCLE. 289 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,835 Radio: Listen carefully. 290 00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:18,838 I will meet you behind the woodshed 291 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,340 at 1:00. 292 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,356 SEE YOU LATER THEN. 293 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,364 YOU SON-OF-A--! 294 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,601 VERY WELL, HERR FLICK, I WILL TELL YOU. 295 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,102 I CAN HOLD OUT NO LONGER 296 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,604 UNDER THE GAZE OF YOUR PENETRATING EYES. 297 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,608 THE COLONEL AND THE CAPTAIN ARE HOLDING A PARTY 298 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,110 TO CELEBRATE THE BURNING DOWN OF THE REICHSTAG. 299 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,112 AH, THE BIG BINGE. 300 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,616 WILL THE GIRLS BE DRESSED AS HITLER YOUTH? 301 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,617 YES, HERR FLICK. 302 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,118 WITH THE BARE KNEES? 303 00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,619 YOU ARE CORRECT, 304 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,121 IN EVERY DETAIL. 305 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,124 I WILL ATTEND, UNINVITED. 306 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,627 THERE IS NOWHERE THE GESTAPO CANNOT GO. 307 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,130 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THIS, HERR FLICK. 308 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,135 YOU WILL ALSO ATTEND. 309 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:24,136 YES, HERR FLICK. 310 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,637 WITH THE BARE KNEES? 311 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,140 UNLESS YOU WISH TO INSULT THE FUHRER. 312 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,141 YES, HERR FLICK. 313 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:35,147 ALL THE TIME I AM SEEING YOUR EYES BEING DRAWN TO THAT PAINTING. 314 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,149 I AM CAPTIVATED BY IT. 315 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,151 EXAMINE IT MORE CLOSELY. 316 00:13:39,151 --> 00:13:41,153 YES, HERR FLICK. 317 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,159 DO YOU WISH ME TO EXAMINE ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR? 318 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,163 DOES EVERYTHING LOOK... GENUINE TO YOU? 319 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,165 VERY. 320 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,666 I WILL LET YOU INTO A SECRET. 321 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,169 IT IS A FORGERY. 322 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,671 NO, HERR FLICK, THAT'S THE REAL ONE. 323 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,675 I'M GLAD YOU'RE DECEIVED. 324 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,177 THE REAL ONE IS ROLLED UP 325 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,179 IN MY HIGH GESTAPO BOOTS. 326 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,181 THIS IS A FORGERY I HAD MADE 327 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,682 SOME WEEKS AGO. 328 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,184 BUT, HERR FLICK, WHY?! 329 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,186 THE FORGERY WILL GO TO BERLIN. 330 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,689 THE REAL ONE I WILL SELL AFTER THE WAR. 331 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,692 WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? 332 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:24,696 BECAUSE YOU WILL MARRY ME. 333 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,199 HERR FLICK... 334 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,700 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 335 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,702 YOU DO NOT SAY ANYTHING 336 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,704 UNTIL I ACTUALLY ASK YOU! 337 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,706 YES, HERR FLICK. 338 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,708 OH, MY GOODNESS, LOOK AT THE TIME! 339 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,711 I MUST RETURN TO MY DUTIES. 340 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,716 TODAY IS YOUR HALF DAY. 341 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,718 I AM VERY CONSCIENTIOUS. 342 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,720 I HAVE MUCH PAPERWORK TO DO. 343 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,722 YOU WILL DO IT TOMORROW. 344 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,224 TODAY I HAVE OTHER PLANS. 345 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:55,727 I HAVE ORDERED AN OPEN STAFF CAR AND TWO MOTORCYCLE ESCORTS. 346 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,229 TOGETHER... 347 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,231 WE WILL DRIVE AROUND THE COUNTRYSIDE 348 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:02,734 SCARING THE PANTS OFF THE FRENCH PEASANTS. 349 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,238 WHAT FUN! 350 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,242 EDITH! 351 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:13,245 YVETTE, MARIA... 352 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,748 AN OLD WOMAN LIES HERE 353 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:21,754 GOING WEAK FOR LACK OF NOURISHMENT. 354 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,255 HOW MUCH LONGER 355 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,257 CAN I LIVE LIKE THIS? 356 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,759 OH, MAMMA, DO NOT FRET YOURSELF. 357 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,262 WE ARE JUST WARMING UP YOUR ONION SOUP. 358 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,763 ONION SOUP! 359 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,267 ALSO, WE HAVE FOR YOU, A VISITOR. 360 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,770 SOON IT WILL BE THE ANGELS 361 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,274 THAT ARE CALLING FOR ME. 362 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,780 OH MY GOD. I AM WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. 363 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,284 I MUST CONFESS. 364 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,789 I HAVE CHEATED. I HAVE LIED. 365 00:15:56,789 --> 00:16:00,292 I HAVE STOLEN, AND I HAVE HAD MANY LOVERS, 366 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,794 INCLUDING, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER-- 367 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,797 MAMMA! 368 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,799 THIS IS NOT A NUN. 369 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,301 THIS IS MICHELLE OF THE RESISTANCE. 370 00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,802 OH, OH... 371 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,304 TAKE NO NOTICE OF ME. 372 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,305 I AM... 373 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,307 DELIRIOUS. 374 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,310 WHERE ARE THE BRITISH AIRMEN? 375 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:19,811 THEY ARE HIDDEN 376 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,814 WHERE NO ONE CAN FIND THEM. 377 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,317 Both: HELLO! 378 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,822 HELLO, CHAPS. NOW, LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY. 379 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,825 EDITH, WHY IS MY BEDROOM 380 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,827 SO FULL OF MIDGETS? 381 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,331 QUIET, MAMMA. 382 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,334 NOW, LISTEN CHAPS, WE'VE HAD A CHIN-WAG WITH LONDON 383 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,336 AND THEY'VE OKAYED A BOAT FOR YOU. 384 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,337 OH, GOOD SHOW! 385 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,838 WHEN DO WE LEAVE? 386 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,842 AS SOON AS THAT BLOKE, LECLERC, HAS FORGED THE PAPERS. 387 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,343 WHERE IS THE FORGER? 388 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:54,846 HE IS AT HAND, CLOSE IN THE CLOSET. 389 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:01,854 WHAT IS THE STATE OF THE FORGED PAPERS FOR THE BRITISH AIRMEN? 390 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,355 HUH? AH. 391 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,356 I HAVE FINISHED. 392 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:06,858 EVERYTHING IS READY. 393 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:07,860 GOOD. 394 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,861 IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? 395 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,362 NOT AT THE MOMENT. 396 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,363 GOOD. 397 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,869 WE'LL PROBABLY HAVE YOU AWAY TONIGHT. 398 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,871 - RIGHTY-O, TOODLE-OO. - SMASHING, TOODLE-OO. 399 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:25,510 Gruber: ♪ I CAN'T HELP IT ♪ 400 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:28,514 ♪ LOVE'S ALWAYS BEEN MY GAME ♪ 401 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,016 ♪ PLAY IT HOW I MAY ♪ 402 00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,518 ♪ I WAS MADE THAT WAY ♪ 403 00:17:33,519 --> 00:17:36,021 ♪ I CAN'T HELP IT ♪ 404 00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:39,525 ♪ MEN CLUSTER TO ME ♪ 405 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,027 ♪ LIKE MOTHS AROUND A FLAME ♪ 406 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,030 ♪ AND IF THEY BURN ♪ 407 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:48,533 ♪ I KNOW I'M NOT TO BLAME ♪ 408 00:17:48,534 --> 00:17:51,036 LIEUTENANT GRUBER... 409 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,537 HE IS VERY HANDSOME. 410 00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:58,543 NOT YOU TOO? 411 00:18:02,047 --> 00:18:04,549 I SHALL BE A LOT HAPPIER 412 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:06,051 WHEN HELGA AND HERR FLICK ARE HERE. 413 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:08,553 OTHERWISE, RENE CAN FIND HIMSELF 414 00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,055 IN QUITE A LOT OF TROUBLE. 415 00:18:10,055 --> 00:18:13,058 NEVER MIND, HANS. WE HAVE A ALIBI. 416 00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,560 WE ARE HERE! 417 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:19,565 FANNY... 418 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,067 I BROUGHT YOU ONION SOUP. 419 00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:23,568 OH, NO, NO, NO. 420 00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,571 WHAT AR-- YOU-- WAIT-- 421 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:26,572 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 422 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:29,074 EDITH AND RENE ARE AWAY 423 00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,076 ON A SECRET MISSION, 424 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,078 AND THEY MAY NEVER RETURN. 425 00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:37,582 I AM OBEYING MY DAUGHTER'S LAST REQUEST. 426 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,585 OH, WHAT IS IT? 427 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,587 KEEP AN EYE ON THE TILL. 428 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:45,591 I COULD KEEP THE EYE ON THE TILL. 429 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:50,095 YES, YOU WILL ALSO HAVE YOUR HAND IN THE TILL. 430 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,600 ♪ WHAT AM I TO DO? ♪ 431 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,605 ♪ I CAN'T HELP IT. ♪ 432 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,606 BRAVO! 433 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,608 ( applause ) 434 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,614 AND NOW, FELLOW OFFICERS 435 00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:11,116 OF THE VICTORIOUS GERMAN ARMY, 436 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:14,619 IN ACCORDANCE WITH OUR ANCIENT BAVARIAN TRADITION, 437 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,623 I GIVE YOU FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT, 438 00:19:17,623 --> 00:19:18,624 GUNILLA... 439 00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,627 ERICA... HILDA... 440 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,631 INGA... YVETTE AND MARIA, 441 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:27,132 THE HITLER YOUTH! 442 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,633 HURRAY! 443 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:32,638 ( piano playing Deutschland uber Alles ) 444 00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:10,175 Officers: BRAVO! 445 00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:13,678 OH! 446 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,681 HELLO. 447 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:21,686 OUR GIRLS MAKE VERY GOOD BOYS, DO THEY NOT? 448 00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,689 YES, INDEED. ONE COULD EASILY BE FOOLED. 449 00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,693 HEIL HITLER! 450 00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:30,195 - All: HEIL HITLER! - Hans: KLUP! 451 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:36,201 DO NOT LET THE FACT THAT I AM A SENIOR MEMBER OF THE GESTAPO, 452 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,703 AND DID NOT RECEIVE AN INVITATION TO YOUR GATHERING 453 00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:42,708 STOP YOU FROM HAVING A JOLLY TIME. 454 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,210 HAVE WE YOUR PERMISSION TO CARRY ON, HERR FLICK? 455 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,711 OF COURSE. 456 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,214 ALBERT, MUSIC! 457 00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:51,716 ( piano playing "Falling in Love Again" ) 458 00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:04,730 WHO IS SERVING THE DRINKS? 459 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:07,733 HELP YOURSELF, HERR FLICK. IT'S ALL FREE. 460 00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,735 THIS IS GOOD. 461 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,241 COLONEL, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 462 00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:18,243 LIKE YOU, HERR FLICK HAS HAD MADE 463 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:20,245 A FORGERY OF THE PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA 464 00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:22,247 WITH THE BIG BOOBIES BY VAN CLOMP. 465 00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:24,249 THIS FORGERY HANGS AT THIS MOMENT 466 00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,751 ON THE WALL OF HIS APARTMENT. 467 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:28,754 THEN WHERE IS THE REAL VAN CLOMP? 468 00:21:28,754 --> 00:21:31,256 ROLLED UP IN HERR FLICK'S HIGH GESTAPO BOOT. 469 00:21:31,256 --> 00:21:35,260 THEN RENE WILL SWITCH A FORGERY WITH HIS FORGERY. 470 00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:36,761 AND WE WILL BE BACK WHERE WE STARTED. 471 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:37,763 WE MUST TELL RENE. 472 00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:39,264 AHH, IT'S TOO LATE. 473 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,766 HE HAS A DISGUISE AND A PASS 474 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,769 AND BY NOW HE'S OUTSIDE THE VERY GATES 475 00:21:43,769 --> 00:21:46,271 OF HERR FLICK'S HEADQUARTERS. 476 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:55,580 Rene: THERE IS A SENTRY. 477 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,582 Edith: OF COURSE THERE IS A SENTRY. 478 00:21:57,582 --> 00:22:00,084 MY KNEES HAVE TURNED TO VICHY WATER. 479 00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:01,586 Edith: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. 480 00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:12,597 REMEMBER, WE ARE GERMAN OFFICERS. 481 00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:15,600 IF WE BELIEVE IT, THEY WILL BELIEVE IT. 482 00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:20,104 I DON'T BELIEVE IT. 483 00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:23,108 LEFT FOOT FIRST. 484 00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:25,110 QUICK MARCH. 485 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,615 HALT. 486 00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:34,619 SENTRY, WHAT IS THE PASSWORD? 487 00:22:34,619 --> 00:22:36,621 DUSSELDORF, HERR CAPTAIN. 488 00:22:36,621 --> 00:22:38,623 GOOD. LET US PASS. 489 00:22:44,629 --> 00:22:46,130 YOU SEE? 490 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,633 ALL YOU NEED IS CONFIDENCE. 491 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,134 BEGINNER'S LUCK. 492 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,139 HALT! 493 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:56,641 DUSSELDORF. 494 00:22:56,641 --> 00:22:58,142 BREMERHAVEN. 495 00:22:58,143 --> 00:23:00,145 NO, DUSSELDORF! 496 00:23:00,145 --> 00:23:03,148 THE REPLY IS BREMERHAVEN. 497 00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:06,151 I AM GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE ON YOUR TOES. 498 00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:17,161 HALT. 499 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,166 WHY HAVE WE HALTED? 500 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,168 I WAS JUST GETTING INTO THE SWING OF IT. 501 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:25,170 THE CUSHION WHICH I AM WEARING UNDER MY JACKET 502 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,671 TO MAKE MY STOMACH LOOK LIKE THE COLONEL'S 503 00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:29,173 IS SLIPPING DOWN TOWARDS MY CROTCH. 504 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:31,676 I WILL HELP YOU TO ADJUST IT. 505 00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:39,684 STOP, WE WILL AROUSE THE SUSPICION OF THE SENTRY. 506 00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:40,685 NO, WE WILL NOT. 507 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:42,186 WE ARE GERMAN OFFICERS. 508 00:23:42,187 --> 00:23:44,689 THEY DO A LOT OF THIS SORT OF THING. 509 00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:47,191 PLEASE HURRY THEN. 510 00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:52,197 EVERYTHING IS BACK IN POSITION. 511 00:23:52,197 --> 00:23:55,700 - GOOD. - READY? 512 00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,201 QUICK MARCH. 513 00:24:01,706 --> 00:24:02,707 HALT! 514 00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,709 DUSSELDORF AND BREMERHAVEN. 515 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,711 I AM SUPPOSED TO SAY BREMERHAVEN. 516 00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,714 WE HAVE SAID IT FOR YOU. 517 00:24:09,714 --> 00:24:12,216 YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY IT FOR ME. 518 00:24:12,217 --> 00:24:13,718 YOU ARE TAKING AWAY MY JOB! 519 00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:17,722 DO NOT ARGUE WITH A SUPERIOR OFFICER, 520 00:24:17,722 --> 00:24:20,224 PIG! DOG! 521 00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:22,727 HYENA. 522 00:24:22,727 --> 00:24:24,228 HYENA. 523 00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:32,237 WHAT IS GOING ON? 524 00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:35,240 THIS FOOL IS PREVENTING OUR ENTRY. 525 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,242 WE HAVE A PARCEL FOR HERR FLICK. 526 00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:38,243 HE'S OUT. 527 00:24:38,243 --> 00:24:39,744 WE WILL PUT IT IN HIS ROOM. 528 00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:41,245 I WILL PUT IT IN HIS ROOM. 529 00:24:43,748 --> 00:24:45,249 HEIL HITLER. 530 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,252 Both: KLUP. 531 00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:49,254 YOU, FOLLOW ME. 532 00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:55,260 WE HAVE LOST THE PAINTING. 533 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,761 IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 534 00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:59,764 PIG. DOG. HYENA. 535 00:24:59,764 --> 00:25:01,265 EDITH! 536 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:09,340 BRAVO! 537 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,848 AND NOW-- NOW, GENTLEMEN, 538 00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:19,350 IT IS CABARET TIME AT THE CAFE RENE. 539 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:21,853 AND TONIGHT WE BRING YOU THE TOAST OF PARIS, 540 00:25:21,853 --> 00:25:23,855 OH, HO HO! 541 00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:26,858 THE STAR OF THE FOLIES BERGERES 1919, 542 00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:28,359 THE EXOTIC 543 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,862 MADEMOISELLE FANNY! 544 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:47,378 ♪ I AM CALLED COQUETTE... ♪ 545 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:48,880 OOH! 546 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,883 ♪ THE GIRL THEY CAN'T FORGET ♪ 547 00:25:51,883 --> 00:25:56,387 ♪ I DRIVE THEM WILD WITH DESIRE ♪ 548 00:25:56,388 --> 00:26:01,393 ♪ WHEN I LIFT MY DRESSES HIGHER ♪ 549 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:05,397 ♪ SHOULD I TAKE OFF MY CHEMISE? ♪ 550 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:09,901 ♪ OO-LA-LA-LA! ♪ 551 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,403 COLONEL, I THINK WE HAVE HERE 552 00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,406 WHAT IS KNOWN AS A "PARTY POOPER." 553 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,911 ( Edith grunts ) 554 00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:21,913 DO NOT MAKE A NOISE. 555 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,917 MY FEET ARE KILLING ME. 556 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:27,418 IT IS ALL THAT GOOSESTEPPING. 557 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,921 - DON'T MOVE. - Edith: AAAH! 558 00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:30,922 DO NOT TURN ON THE LIGHT. 559 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:34,425 IT IS MICHELLE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. 560 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,428 NOW LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY. 561 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,430 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 562 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,433 THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE OF PLAN. 563 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:43,935 THE BRITISH AIRMEN MUST LEAVE FOR THE COAST TONIGHT. 564 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,436 YOU WILL BE THEIR ESCORT. 565 00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,939 I HAVE HERE FOR YOU A GERMAN UNIFORM. 566 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:51,442 I AM ALREADY WEARING A GERMAN UNIFORM. 567 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,445 YOU ARE? 568 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:54,946 TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. 569 00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,948 AND KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MEDALS! 570 00:26:57,949 --> 00:26:59,951 UH, AHEM... 571 00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:02,453 WHY IS YOUR WIFE IN UNIFORM? 572 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,955 I ENJOY IT. 573 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,959 HOW WILL THE AIRMEN BE DISGUISED? 574 00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:09,961 THE SAME AS I AM. 575 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,462 OH. 576 00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:13,965 ( together ) HELLO. 577 00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,466 SIEG HEIL! 578 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:17,969 WAS THAT ALL RIGHT? 579 00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:18,970 JOLLY GOOD. 580 00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:19,971 NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS 581 00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,472 KEEP AS COOL AS THE OLD CUCUMBER, 582 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:22,974 AND WE'LL DO THE TALKING. 583 00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:24,475 IF YOU WANT US TO SING ANY SONGS, 584 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:28,480 WE BOTH KNOW "UNDERNEATH THE SPREADING CHESTNUT TREE." 585 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,481 WITH ACTIONS. 586 00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,482 CHEST, 587 00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:31,483 NUT, 588 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:32,484 TREE. 589 00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,486 NO. I DON'T THINK THAT'S ONE 590 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:35,987 OF HITLER'S FAVORITES. 591 00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:38,990 WE HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU. 592 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,992 THE TRUCK IS ROUND THE BACK. 593 00:27:40,992 --> 00:27:42,994 GOOD. DID ANYONE SEE YOU LEAVE? 594 00:27:42,994 --> 00:27:44,996 NO. WHEN YOUR MOTHER STARTED TO SING, 595 00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:46,497 EVERYBODY SHUT THEIR EYES 596 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:48,500 AND PUT THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR EARS. 597 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,501 GOOD. WE GO NOW. 598 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,002 JUST A MINUTE. 599 00:27:51,002 --> 00:27:53,504 WE HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN HERE, YOU KNOW. 600 00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,007 ( singing ) 601 00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:57,508 NO! 602 00:27:57,509 --> 00:28:00,011 NOT THE DANCE OF THE MOLTING PEACOCK! 603 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:02,013 MOTHER! 604 00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:04,015 PUT THEM BACK ON! 605 00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:06,517 OH MY GOD! 606 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,520 COME ON, LET US GET OUT OF HERE. 607 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,021 GO. 608 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,037 WELL, WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 609 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:27,538 WE MARCH TO THE BEACH. 610 00:28:31,042 --> 00:28:32,543 WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 611 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,546 WE MARCH TO THE BEACH, OLD CHAP. 612 00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,047 OH, RIGHTY-O. 613 00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:42,554 BY THE LEFT, 614 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:44,556 QUICK MARCH! 615 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:51,563 NEARLY THERE, CARSTAIRS. 616 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:54,065 DAMNED DRAFTY, THESE SHORTS. 617 00:28:58,069 --> 00:29:00,071 HALT! 618 00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,573 - Edith: DUSSELDORF! - THAT WAS YESTERDAY. 619 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,076 WHAT IS THE WORD TODAY? 620 00:29:05,076 --> 00:29:08,079 - MUNICH! - GOOD! WELL DONE. 621 00:29:08,079 --> 00:29:09,580 HALT! 622 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:10,582 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 623 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,584 WE ARE TAKING THE HITLER YOUTH 624 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:14,085 FOR RUNNING AND JUMPING 625 00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:15,586 AND PLAYING LEAPFROG ON THE SANDS 626 00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:18,089 UND SWIMMING IN THE SEA. 627 00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,591 THIS WAY WE WILL HAVE A MASTER RACE. 628 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,093 WITH PNEUMONIA. 629 00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,094 CARRY ON! 630 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,607 RIGHT, HERE IS THE BOAT. 631 00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:39,110 LET'S RUN IT DOWN TO THE WATER. 632 00:29:40,111 --> 00:29:41,612 UP. 633 00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,627 RIGHT, CHAPS. IN YOU GO. 634 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:58,129 UM... BEFORE WE START ROWING, 635 00:29:58,129 --> 00:29:59,630 DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO WAIT 636 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,633 FOR A SIGNAL FROM THE SUBMARINE? 637 00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,134 WHAT SUBMARINE? 638 00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,137 THE SUBMARINE THAT'S GOING TO TAKE US BACK TO ENGLAND. 639 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,639 WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A SUBMARINE? 640 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,644 WELL, THERE HAS TO BE A SUBMARINE. 641 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:15,647 YOU DON'T EXPECT US TO ROW 20 MILES IN THAT THING? 642 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,649 NOW LOOK HERE, YOU FELLOWS, 643 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,150 A JOLLY BRAVE FRENCH FISHERMAN 644 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:21,652 RISKED HIS LIFE TO GET YOU THAT BOAT. 645 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:24,155 YES, BUT I MEAN, LOOK AT IT. 646 00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:26,157 IT'S GOT A DEAD CRAB IN IT! 647 00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:27,158 AND LOOK AT THOSE WAVES! 648 00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:29,660 YOU COULDN'T DRIVE THAT THING ON THAT! 649 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:33,164 I GET SEASICK ON THE BOATING LAKE AT REGENTS PARK. 650 00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:35,666 WELL, ARE YOU GOING OR NOT? 651 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,168 NO. 652 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:39,670 WELL? ARE THEY GOING OR NOT? 653 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,172 NO! 654 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:42,173 I MEAN NON. 655 00:30:42,173 --> 00:30:44,675 SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO THEN? 656 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,179 THE SENTRY IS WATCHING US. 657 00:30:48,179 --> 00:30:50,681 I THINK A QUICK GAME OF LEAPFROG, 658 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:52,684 AND THEN BACK TO THE CAFE. 659 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,690 ( theme music playing )