1 00:00:03,069 --> 00:00:06,072 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:23,589 ( off-key ) ♪ WE LOVED, WE PARTED ♪ 3 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,092 ♪ AS FATE HAD ARRANGED ♪ 4 00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:28,094 ♪ NOW THERE YOU STAND ♪ 5 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:30,596 ♪ AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED... ♪ 6 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,098 YVETTE, A LARGE COGNAC. 7 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,600 I HAVE IT FOR YOU HERE, RENE. 8 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:36,102 THANK YOU. 9 00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,104 ♪ YOU ARE MY LOVE, MY ONLY LOVE ♪ 10 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,106 ♪ ONCE MORE... ♪ 11 00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:44,110 IN ME, YOU SEE A MAN WHO HAS PROBLEMS. 12 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:47,613 AT THAT TABLE OVER THERE, ARE TWO GERMAN OFFICERS 13 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:49,115 DRESSED AS ONION SELLERS 14 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:51,117 BECAUSE I GAVE THEIR UNIFORMS 15 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,120 TO SOME BRITISH AIRMEN TO HELP THEM TO ESCAPE. 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:57,123 HOWEVER, THE BRITISH AIRMEN BURNED THE UNIFORMS. 17 00:00:57,123 --> 00:00:58,624 DON'T ASK ME WHY-- 18 00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,627 AND THEY ARE NOW HIDING UPSTAIRS 19 00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:03,129 IN THE WARDROBE OF MY WIFE'S MOTHER, 20 00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:05,631 WHO IS IN BED IN THE ATTIC. 21 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,133 PLAYING THE PIANO 22 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,634 IS MONSIEUR LECLERC, 23 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,637 JAILBIRD AND FORGER, 24 00:01:10,637 --> 00:01:13,139 WHO, IN HIS YOUTH, 25 00:01:13,139 --> 00:01:15,141 WAS THE LOVER, GOD HELP HIM, 26 00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:17,143 OF MY WIFE'S MOTHER, 27 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:19,645 AND WHO, FOR ALL I KNOW, MIGHT WELL BE 28 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,148 MY WIFE'S FATHER. 29 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,150 HERR FLICK, THE GESTAPO OFFICER, 30 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:26,652 IS ALSO DRESSED AS ON AN ONION SELLER 31 00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,155 IN ORDER TO TRACE THE MISSING PAINTING BY VAN CLOMP 32 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:33,159 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES, 33 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:36,662 WHICH I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE UPON MY PERSON. 34 00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,668 BUT EVEN WORSE THAN ALL THIS, 35 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,169 MY WIFE EDITH... 36 00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:45,671 ♪ FATE HAD ARRANGED... ♪ 37 00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:50,176 WHO YOU WILL HAVE NOTICED CANNOT CARRY A TUNE IN A BUCKET, 38 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,178 IS ABOUT TO SING ANOTHER CHORUS. 39 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:56,182 THE GERMAN LIEUTENANT AT THAT TABLE THERE FANCIES ME, 40 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,686 AND THESE TWO RINGS ON MY FINGERS 41 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,690 CONTAIN TWO SUICIDE PILLS. 42 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,192 BUT I COULD GO ON FOREVER. 43 00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:09,195 RENE, COME INTO THE BACK ROOM QUICKLY. 44 00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,697 MY LITTLE CHICKEN, MARIA, 45 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,701 I HAVE NOT TIME FOR THAT SORT OF THING NOW. 46 00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:18,204 THE RESTAURANT IS FULL. MEET ME TONIGHT AT 11:00-- 47 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,206 IN THE COLD ROOM BY THE ICEBOX. 48 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:21,707 NO, RENE. 49 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,710 MICHELLE WANTS YOU IN THE BACK ROOM, 50 00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,712 MICHELLE FROM THE RESISTANCE. 51 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,214 SHH! DO NOT MENTION THAT WORD IN HERE. 52 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,716 OH, THAT MICHELLE WILL GET ME SHOT. 53 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,218 LOOK AFTER THE BAR. 54 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:35,221 CAN WE STILL MEET AT 11:00? 55 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,222 OF COURSE. 56 00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,224 CAN WE MEET SOMEWHERE ELSE? 57 00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:40,726 WAITING FOR YOU BY THE ICEBOX, IT'S-- 58 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,729 IT'S SO UNROMANTIC. 59 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,231 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIT ON IT. 60 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:47,733 ALL RIGHT, THEN MEET ME IN THE COAL CELLAR. 61 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,235 BUT I GET SO DIRTY IN THERE. 62 00:02:49,235 --> 00:02:51,237 YES, I KNOW. 63 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,241 MICHELLE? 64 00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:57,744 MICHELLE? 65 00:02:59,746 --> 00:03:01,247 I AM HERE. 66 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,748 WHY CAN'T YOU WAIT IN THE ROOM, 67 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,751 LIKE AN ORDINARY PERSON? 68 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:06,753 BECAUSE I'M NOT AN ORDINARY PERSON. 69 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,755 TO AVOID BEING DISCOVERED BY THE GERMANS, 70 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,257 I HAVE TO MOVE WITH GREAT CUNNING AND SECRECY, 71 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:12,758 OTHERWISE, I WILL BE SHOT. 72 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:13,760 I UNDERSTAND. 73 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,763 I HAVE THE SAME TROUBLE WITH MY WIFE. 74 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,268 NOW LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, 75 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,769 I SHALL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE. 76 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:26,772 YOU ARE TO TAKE THIS CONTAINER. 77 00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,274 I SEE. 78 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:30,276 AND WHAT DOES THIS CONTAINER CONTAIN? 79 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,278 BOLS. 80 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,782 MICHELLE, UP UNTIL NOW OUR RELATIONSHIP 81 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,786 HAS BEEN ON A VERY CIVILIZED AND FRIENDLY BASIS. 82 00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:41,287 IF I HAVE EVER SAID ANYTHING TO OFFEND YOU-- 83 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,789 - BOLS GIN. - OH! 84 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291 THIS TYPE OF GIN 85 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,293 IS COLORED A VERY PALE BLUE. 86 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,295 I RUN A BAR, I DO KNOW THAT. 87 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,797 NITROGLYCERIN IS ALSO COLORED 88 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,799 A VERY PALE BLUE. 89 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,801 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 90 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,802 BUT WHAT IS THE CONNECTION? 91 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,804 THIS IS NITROGLYCERIN. 92 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,306 BE VERY GENTLE WITH IT. 93 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,807 DO NOT DROP IT. 94 00:04:01,808 --> 00:04:03,309 DO NOT LET ANYONE SEE IT. 95 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:05,812 HIDE IT IN YOUR CELLAR. 96 00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,815 AT 11:00 THERE IS GOING TO BE A BIG BANG. 97 00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:13,819 BUT THAT WAS NOT DEFINITE. 98 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,822 IT WAS ONLY A LOOSE ARRANGEMENT. 99 00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:20,326 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 100 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,828 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 101 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,831 I AM ASKING YOU TO HIDE THIS BOTTLE IN YOUR CELLAR. 102 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,833 IT IS TO BLOW UP THE RAILWAY LINE. 103 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:30,336 BUT THE RAILWAY LINE DOES NOT RUN OVER MY CELLAR. 104 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,838 MY RESTAURANT RUNS OVER MY CELLAR. 105 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,340 I KNOW THAT. 106 00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,344 I WILL BE BACK TO COLLECT IT QUITE SOON. 107 00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:40,846 IN THAT CASE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP IT? 108 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,849 BECAUSE IF THE GERMANS FIND IT THEY WILL SHOOT ME. 109 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,351 IF THEY FIND IT HERE, WON'T THEY SHOOT ME? 110 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:46,852 YOU HAVE A CAFE. 111 00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:47,854 YOU HAVE A BAR. 112 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,856 WHY SHOULD YOU NOT HAVE A BOTTLE OF BOLS GIN? 113 00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,358 IF I COULD THINK OF A REASON, 114 00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:53,859 I WOULD GIVE YOU ONE. 115 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,462 ( piano playing ) 116 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,465 ♪ IT'S THE WAY WE GO ♪ 117 00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:00,966 ♪ THE SAME REFRAIN ♪ 118 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,969 ♪ THE FINAL ENCORE ♪ 119 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,470 ♪ YOU ARE MY LOVE ♪ 120 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,971 ♪ MY ONLY LOVE ♪ 121 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,473 ♪ ONCE MORE ♪ 122 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,975 ♪ YOU ARE MY LOVE ♪ 123 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,477 ♪ MY ONLY LOVE ♪ 124 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,478 ♪ ONCE ♪ 125 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:15,481 ♪ MO-O-O-RE. ♪ 126 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,484 ( silence ) 127 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,486 THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND APPLAUSE. 128 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:22,988 NOW ARE THERE ANY REQUESTS? 129 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,491 TWO BEERS AND SOME MORE CHEESE. 130 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,001 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE, LIEUTENANT? 131 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,504 I HAVE A FANCY FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 132 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:39,505 WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST? 133 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,008 MAYBE A SMALL PORT AND LEMON? 134 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,510 THAT WILL DO VERY NICELY. 135 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,013 WHERE IS MONSIEUR RENE? 136 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,516 I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH HIS EYE ALL NIGHT, 137 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,017 BUT I THINK HE IS AVOIDING ME. 138 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,021 HE HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND AT THE MOMENT, 139 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,523 BUT I AM SURE HE IS NOT TRYING TO AVOID YOU. 140 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,025 HE IS TOO BUSY TRYING TO AVOID HIS WIFE. 141 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,027 OH REALLY? 142 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,029 THAT IS VERY INTERESTING. 143 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,535 AH, MONSIEUR RENE. 144 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,540 LIEUTENANT, HAVE YOU GOT A DRINK? 145 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:17,042 I WAS ASKING FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 146 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,044 WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE THERE? 147 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,547 OH, IT'S JUST A VERY EXOTIC GIN. 148 00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,049 IT IS NEW TO ME. WHAT IS IT? 149 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,051 BOLS. 150 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,054 MONSIEUR RENE, 151 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,057 SO FAR OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON A CIVILIZED 152 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,559 AND FRIENDLY BASIS. IF I HAVE BEEN, IN ANY WAY-- 153 00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,060 NO, NO, NO. 154 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,064 B-O-L-S. BOLS. 155 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,066 OH, SO SORRY. 156 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,069 IT IS MOST INTRIGUING. I WILL TRY SOME. 157 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,072 NO, NO. I CANNOT OPEN THE BOTTLE 158 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,573 JUST FOR ONE GIN. 159 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:51,076 MAKE IT TWO BOLS. ( laughs ) 160 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,578 YOU HAVE ONE ALSO. 161 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,080 NO, EVEN FOR TWO I CANNOT OPEN IT. 162 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,583 PERHAPS SHE WOULD LIKE ONE AS WELL. 163 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,084 YES, I WOULD LOVE ONE. 164 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,087 YOU DO NOT DRINK ON DUTY. 165 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089 - SINCE WHEN? - SINCE NOW. 166 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,590 PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO GIVE YOUR WIFE ONE? 167 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,093 OUT OF THE QUESTION. 168 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,596 VERY WELL, I WILL BUY THE WHOLE BOTTLE. 169 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:12,097 IT'S NOT FOR SALE. 170 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,100 ARE YOU TRYING TO GET RID OF ME?! 171 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,103 NOT DELIBERATELY, NO. 172 00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:21,107 ( thumping softly ) EDITH. 173 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,108 RENE. 174 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,110 ( thumping louder ) MARIA! 175 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,111 YVETTE! 176 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:29,115 WILL NOBODY ANSWER ME? 177 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,118 I SAY, WOULD YOU MIND MAKING A LITTLE LESS NOISE? 178 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,121 WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP IN HERE. 179 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,124 MEN IN MY WARDROBE. 180 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,127 - WHAT'S SHE SAYING? - I'VE NO IDEA. 181 00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,629 FRENCH IS ALL GREEK TO ME. 182 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,631 HOPE SHE'S NOT CALLING FOR MORE ONION SOUP. 183 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:50,135 IF SHE IS WE'LL HAVE TO STUFF MORE CHEWING GUM IN THE KEYHOLE. 184 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,140 'ALLO, MAMMA! IT IS I, YOUR DAUGHTER EDITH. 185 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,642 I HAVE BROUGHT YOU YOUR ONION SOUP. 186 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,644 OH MY GOD. 187 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,149 WHY IS IT ALWAYS ONION SOUP? 188 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,652 BECAUSE WE ARE HELPING BRITISH AIRMEN TO ESCAPE 189 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,153 DISGUISED AS ONION SELLERS 190 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,156 AND WE CANNOT WASTE THE ONIONS. 191 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,659 COULD YOU NOT DISGUISE THE AIRMEN AS... 192 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,160 BUTCHERS? 193 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,663 THEN I COULD HAVE A GOOD STEAK. 194 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,665 DON'T BE DIFFICULT, MAMMA. 195 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,167 I AM AN INVALID. 196 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,669 INVALIDS HAVE... 197 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,672 POACHED EGGS. 198 00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:30,175 WHY CANNOT I HAVE POACHED EGGS? 199 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,678 BECAUSE THE HENS, THEY ARE NOT LAYING. 200 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:37,182 IN MY DAY, WE MIXED THEIR CORN WITH GIN. 201 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,187 THAT IS ALWAYS MAKING THEM LAY. 202 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,190 ALSO IT WOULD DO ME GOOD. 203 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:47,193 RENE HAS A NEW BOTTLE. I WILL BRING YOU SOME. 204 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,098 WHAT'S THE TIME, HANS? 205 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,103 THAT IS NO GOOD. 206 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,606 MY EYES ARE RUNNING SO MUCH FROM THESE DAMNED ONIONS 207 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,107 I CAN'T SEE. 208 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,609 NEITHER CAN I. 209 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,612 ONE WHOLE DAY WE'VE BEEN AWAY FROM THE OFFICE. 210 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,614 WHAT WILL THEY SAY IN BERLIN 211 00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,115 IF THEY FIND OUT WE'RE NOT THERE? 212 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:12,118 I THINK THEY WILL BE VERY CROSS. 213 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,120 THAT FOOL OF A SENTRY 214 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,623 DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME WHEN I TRIED TO GET IN. 215 00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:18,624 BUT YOU HAD NO PAPERS. 216 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:20,626 HE HIT ME WITH HIS RIFLE BUTT. 217 00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,128 A DISGRACEFUL WAY TO TREAT AN OLD PEASANT. 218 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,631 THERE'S HELGA. 219 00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:26,632 SHE MAY HAVE SOME NEWS. 220 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,133 HERE, SIT DOWN. 221 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,139 COLONEL, I HAVE BAD NEWS. I HAVE BEEN TO THE CLEANERS 222 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:35,641 FOR YOUR SPARE UNIFORMS AND THEY ARE NOT READY. 223 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,143 YOU FOOL GIRL, YOU SHOULD'VE BROUGHT THEM AS THEY WERE. 224 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:41,147 YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT THEM AS THEY WERE, FOOL GIRL. 225 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,149 THEY HAVE BEEN SENT AWAY. 226 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:44,650 THEY HAVE GONE TO PARIS. 227 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,151 YOU ORDERED DELUXE SERVICE. 228 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,654 I DID NOT ORDER DELUXE SERVICE. 229 00:09:48,654 --> 00:09:50,656 WHO ORDERED DELUXE SERVICE? 230 00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,157 I DID. 231 00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,160 YOU AND YOUR CREASES. 232 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,162 YOU TRY TO BE SMART DOWN HERE. 233 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:58,664 YOU SHOULD BE SMART UP HERE. 234 00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:00,165 I SENT MY HAT, ALSO. 235 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,169 - I HAVE MORE NEWS. - IS IT GOOD OR BAD? 236 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,173 HANS, I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER. 237 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,674 I ASK THE QUESTIONS. 238 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,175 IN THESE CLOTHES WE ARE EQUAL. 239 00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,177 ON THE CONTRARY. 240 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:14,180 MY ONIONS ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR ONIONS, 241 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,182 AND I HAVE TWO ROWS. 242 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,684 LUCKY YOU. 243 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,185 TOMORROW MORNING AT 10:00, 244 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,188 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN IS COMING TO INSPECT. 245 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:23,689 VON KLINKERHOFFEN? 246 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:25,190 NOT THE VON KLINKERHOFFEN? 247 00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,692 HANS, YOU FOOL. 248 00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:29,695 HOW MANY VON KLINKERHOFFENS DO YOU THINK THERE ARE? 249 00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,698 THE TELEGRAM IN YOUR OFFICE SAYS YOU ARE TO MEET HIM AT THE STATION. 250 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,199 THIS IS DISASTER. 251 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,702 CAN YOU IMAGINE THE STINK IN BERLIN? 252 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,204 VON KLINKERHOFFEN 253 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:42,208 MET BY TWO ONION SELLERS. 254 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,709 HITLER WILL DO HIS NUT. 255 00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:46,712 WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? 256 00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,213 WE COULD BORROW A REVOLVER. 257 00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,216 TO SHOOT OURSELVES? 258 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:53,219 I SUPPOSE THAT'S THE HONORABLE THING TO DO. 259 00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,222 AFTER ALL, WE ARE OFFICERS AND SOLDIERS. 260 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:57,223 I-- I-- I-- 261 00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,226 I JUST THOUGHT WE COULD SHOOT OUR LITTLE TOES OFF. 262 00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:03,229 THEN WE COULD GO TO HOSPITAL, WHERE THEY WEAR PAJAMAS. 263 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,230 NO... 264 00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:06,732 PERHAPS RENE HAS NEWS. 265 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:07,733 AH, RENE! 266 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:12,237 YES, HERR ONION SELLER. ONE MOMENT. 267 00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,239 MONSIEUR LECLERC! 268 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,740 MADAME. 269 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:19,245 TAKE THIS GIN TO MY MOTHER. 270 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,748 AH, GIN. 271 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,752 I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW IT SMELLS. 272 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,755 SO LONG HAVE I BEEN IN THE NICK. 273 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:30,756 MARIA. 274 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:33,759 TAKE THIS, 275 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,761 AND MIX IT WITH THE CORN FOR THE CHICKENS. 276 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,262 IT WILL HELP THEM TO LAY. 277 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:39,765 YES, COLONEL. 278 00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,266 RENE, SIT DOWN. 279 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,269 THANK YOU, COLONEL. 280 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,773 LISTEN, RENE. I WILL COME STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. 281 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:51,276 IF YOU DO NOT GET THESE UNIFORMS BY TONIGHT, YOU WILL BE SHOT. 282 00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:54,780 YOU DON'T BEAT ABOUT THE BUSH, DO YOU COLONEL? 283 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:55,781 I DO NOT. 284 00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,783 WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT SOMETIME? 285 00:11:57,783 --> 00:12:01,286 IT IS BETTER FOR THE NERVES, ESPECIALLY MY NERVES. 286 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,789 DO WE GET THEM OR NOT? 287 00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:06,291 COLONEL, THEY ARE COMING FROM LONDON. 288 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:09,295 - LONDON? - THE LESS YOU KNOW, THE BETTER. 289 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,297 PUT SOME CHEESE IN YOUR EARS. 290 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,300 I'M AFRAID THERE WAS A SLIGHT DELAY, COLONEL. 291 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,802 THE TAILOR HAD TO GO TO A BAR MITZVAH. 292 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,304 A JEWISH TAILOR! OY VAY. 293 00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,309 WHATEVER THAT MEANS. 294 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:25,811 I WILL SPEAK TO MICHE-- 295 00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,813 TO SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE CONTACT. 296 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,815 THEY WILL TRY TO GET THEM DELIVERED TO US TONIGHT. 297 00:12:29,815 --> 00:12:31,817 YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. 298 00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,819 SO DO OUR LITTLE TOES. 299 00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,522 ( clucking ) 300 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,527 COME, LITTLE CHICKENS. 301 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:43,028 COME ON. 302 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,531 IT'S DINNER TIME. 303 00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:55,541 IT IS TIME I AM SINGING AGAIN. 304 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:58,043 I NEED SOMETHING TO STEADY MY NERVES. 305 00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:01,046 YOU KNOW SINGING TO A CROWDED ROOM 306 00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:03,548 TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF COURAGE. 307 00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,050 IT'S LUCKY YOU ARE SO BRAVE. 308 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:08,554 WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT BOTTLE? 309 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,056 I AM JUST GOING TO WET MY WHISTLE. 310 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:13,558 YOU FOOL, THIS COULD BLOW YOUR WHISTLE 311 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:14,560 THROUGH THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD. 312 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,563 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 313 00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,565 I AM SAYING IT IS TO BLOW UP A TRAIN. 314 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,568 I AM SAYING IT IS NITROGLYCERIN. 315 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,571 HELLO! 316 00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:27,573 BUT I HAVE GIVEN SOME TO MY MOTHER. 317 00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:30,576 - AND THE CHICKENS. - OH NO, THIS IS DISASTER. 318 00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,578 THOSE ARE THE ONLY CHICKENS WE HAVE. 319 00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,581 WHAT ABOUT MY MOTHER? 320 00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,082 MADAME. ( laughs ) 321 00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,584 THAT DRINK, OH. 322 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,087 IT MAKE YOUR MAMMA VERY FRISKY. 323 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,588 WHAT HAPPENED? 324 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,591 SHE GOT OUT OF BED, 325 00:13:45,591 --> 00:13:47,092 WENT TO PICK UP HER SLIPPERS, 326 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:49,594 AND BLEW THE DOOR OFF THE WARDROBE. 327 00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,598 - OH MY GOD! - QUICK, THE CHICKENS. 328 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,607 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 329 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,610 STOP THROWING THIS CORN SO HARD. 330 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,612 - IT'S ALL GONE. - WHERE? 331 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:08,614 - INSIDE THE CHICKENS. - WHAT? 332 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,115 WHERE ARE THE CHICKENS? 333 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,117 WHERE THEY ALWAYS GO TO LAY THE EGGS, 334 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,118 BEHIND THE HEDGE. 335 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:15,120 ( explosions ) 336 00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,128 THAT WAS ONLY FIVE. WHERE IS THE OTHER? 337 00:14:23,128 --> 00:14:26,131 THE COCKEREL CHASED HER INTO THE HEN HOUSE. 338 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,138 MMM, SOME BANG. 339 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,645 ( clucking ) 340 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:45,150 YOU ARE LOOKING AT A WALKING LEGEND. 341 00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,156 ♪ HOW WOULD YOU LIKE ♪ 342 00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:54,159 ♪ TO BE, BOM BOM ♪ 343 00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,660 ♪ BY THE SEINE ♪ 344 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,663 ♪ WITH ME, BOM BOM? ♪ 345 00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:00,665 I SAY, CARSTAIRS, 346 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:03,168 THE OLD GIRL'S A BIT OF A GOER, ISN'T SHE? 347 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,170 LET'S HOPE THEY DON'T GIVE HER ANYTHING ELSE. 348 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:07,672 BETWEEN THE ONION SOUP AND THAT DRINK, 349 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:10,676 SHE'S MORE DANGEROUS THAN THE FLAK OVER BERLIN. 350 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:11,677 MAMMA! 351 00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,178 MAMMA. 352 00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:14,679 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 353 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,684 I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PERFORMANCE. 354 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,185 SHUT UP. 355 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,687 ALL TOGETHER NOW, PLEASE. 356 00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:26,191 Both: ♪ HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ♪ 357 00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:30,195 ♪ DOWN BY THE SEINE WITH ME? ♪ 358 00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,697 ♪ UNDER THE BRIDGE... ♪ 359 00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:34,199 MY GOD, CARSTAIRS, 360 00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,701 THIS IS A TERRIBLE WAR. 361 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,205 SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU. 362 00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:42,207 I-- SHUT UP! 363 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,709 RENE, LISTEN TO HER. 364 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,712 FOR ONCE SHE IS HAPPY. 365 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,715 YOU KNOW IT IS FROM HER I GET MY TALENT. 366 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,718 IT HAS TRAVELED VERY BADLY. 367 00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:56,221 I HAVE TO LIFT THE BED TO GET TO THE RADIO TO TALK TO LONDON. 368 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,723 SHUT UP, YOU OLD BAT. 369 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,225 LIFT THE BED. 370 00:16:03,228 --> 00:16:05,230 I THINK THEY WANT THE WIRELESS. 371 00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,233 OH! 372 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,738 OH. 373 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:15,741 'ALLO 'ALLO, THIS IS NIGHTHAWK. 374 00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:18,243 CAN YOU HEAR ME, OVER? 375 00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:20,745 OF COURSE I CAN HEAR YOU. 376 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,748 NOT YOU. SHUT UP. 377 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:26,251 Male voice: 'Allo, Nighthawk. 'Allo, Nighthawk. 378 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,253 This is London. 379 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,255 Listen carefully. 380 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,757 I shall say this only once. 381 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,328 HERE, TAKE THIS TO TABLE THREE. 382 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,831 OH HECK, 383 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,332 HERE COMES TROUBLE. 384 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,833 IT'S OTTO FLICK OF THE GESTAPO. 385 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,335 GESTAPO! 386 00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:45,837 FOR GOD'S SAKE, ACT NORMALLY. 387 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,340 I AM ACTING NORMALLY. 388 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,843 ALWAYS I AM LIKE THIS WITH THE GESTAPO. 389 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,346 WELCOME, HERR FLICK. 390 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,847 MAY I FIND YOU A TABLE? 391 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,850 I KNOW WHERE I WANT TO SIT. 392 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,852 OF COURSE, HERR FLICK. 393 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,354 WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I AM IN THE ROOM, 394 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,856 EVERYONE STOPS TALKING? 395 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:08,861 IT IS IN CASE YOU WISH TO SAY ANYTHING, HERR FLICK. 396 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:09,862 I DO. 397 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,863 HEIL HITLER. 398 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,364 Germans: HEIL HITLER! 399 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,366 WELL, YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THAT. 400 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,871 HAVE YOU FOUND OUT ANYTHING ABOUT THE MISSING PAINTING? 401 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,873 NO, HERR FLICK. 402 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,374 NOT A SMELL OF IT. 403 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:25,377 IT IS POSSIBLE THE PEASANTS HAVE PENETRATED YOUR DISGUISE. 404 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,879 YOU MUST CHANGE BACK INTO YOUR UNIFORMS. 405 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,381 AT ONCE, HERR FLICK. 406 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,882 WELL, VERY NEARLY. 407 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:34,386 YOU HAVE HEARD OF THE ARRIVAL OF GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN? 408 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,387 YES, HERR FLICK. 409 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,889 YOU WILL MEET HIM TOMORROW AT THE STATION. 410 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:38,891 YES, HERR FLICK. 411 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,893 HE WILL BE INSPECTING OUR DEFENSES 412 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,394 AND ALL THE MAIN BUILDINGS. 413 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,397 DOES THAT INCLUDE THE HOSPITAL? 414 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,898 WHY DO YOU ASK? 415 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,902 IN CASE WE HAVE AN ACCIDENT, YOU KNOW. 416 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,404 WE WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS HIM, HERR FLICK. 417 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:53,905 HE IS A RUTHLESS MAN. 418 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,409 THE SLIGHTEST SIGN OF INEFFICIENCY 419 00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:58,410 AND YOU WILL BE POSTED. 420 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,412 TO THE RUSSIAN FRONT? 421 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,414 IF YOU'RE LUCKY. 422 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,416 I WILL GO AND TIDY THE OFFICE 423 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,917 AND ENSURE EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER. 424 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,419 NO! 425 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,921 YOU WILL REPORT TO MY ROOM IN ONE HOUR. 426 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,424 YES, HERR FLICK. MAY I ASK WHY? 427 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,426 THERE ARE PERHAPS, CERTAIN THINGS 428 00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:16,428 YOU HAVE NOT REVEALED TO ME. 429 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,929 HERR FLICK-- 430 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,932 HOW COULD I HIDE ANYTHING 431 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,935 FROM THOSE STERN, PENETRATING EYES? 432 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,937 WE SHALL SEE. 433 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,438 HEIL HITLER. 434 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,939 - HEIL HITLER. - Hans: KLUP. 435 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,441 DO NOT BE LATE. 436 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,443 NO, HERR FLICK. WHAT IF I AM EARLY? 437 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,446 DO NOT BE EARLY EITHER! BE PUNCTUAL. 438 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,947 YES, HERR FLICK. 439 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:38,951 HEIL HITLER! 440 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,953 All: HEIL HITLER! 441 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,457 MONSIEUR LECLERC, CLEAN UP THAT MESS. 442 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,460 I HAVE GOOD NEWS, COLONEL. 443 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,961 THE UNIFORMS? 444 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,463 THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY. 445 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,466 AND WE ARE GOING TO SEND BACK THE PAINTING TO LONDON TO BE COPIED. 446 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,468 I THOUGHT THEY WERE COMING BY PARACHUTE. 447 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,970 NO, NO. TONIGHT, A PLANE WILL LAND 448 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,472 SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE. 449 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,974 WHAT'S THE USE OF SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE? 450 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,476 WE WANT IT HERE. 451 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:07,479 THIS IS SOMEWHERE IN FRANCE, 452 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,482 BUT IF I TOLD YOU TOO MUCH, THE RESISTANCE WOULD SHOOT ME. 453 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,983 WE WILL MEET THE PLANE WITH YOU. 454 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,485 NO, NO, DEAR COLONEL, 455 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,987 I DON'T THINK THE RESISTANCE WOULD LIKE THAT. 456 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,991 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR CAFE BLOWN UP, 457 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,493 AND YOU AND YOUR WIFE PUT UP AGAINST A WALL AND SHOT? 458 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:24,496 YOU WOULD NOT DO THAT. 459 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,998 NO, BUT HERR FLICK WOULD. 460 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,000 WE MIGHT BE WITH YOU. 461 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,502 I WILL SEE WHAT CAN BE DONE. 462 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:31,503 EXCUSE ME, COLONEL. 463 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,004 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SING AGAIN? 464 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,007 I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR RENE. 465 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,509 A MAN HAS ARRIVED 466 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,011 TO READ THE GAS METER. 467 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:46,017 EDITH, WE HAVE NO METER BECAUSE WE HAVE NO GAS. 468 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,520 WHY DO YOU NOT STOP WASTING MY TIME, WOMAN? 469 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,522 WHY DO YOU NOT JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN? 470 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,024 THE GIRL MICHELLE IS HERE FROM THE RESISTANCE. 471 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:59,030 AH, A CLUE AT LAST! 472 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,533 I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE HELPING THE RESISTANCE. 473 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:05,036 WE WILL ARREST THIS GIRL, WE WILL MAKE HER TALK 474 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,039 AND WE WILL BE HEROES. 475 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,040 WITH MEDALS! 476 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,542 WITHOUT UNIFORMS TO PIN THEM ON. 477 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,544 COLONEL, THAT GIRL IS THE ONLY PERSON 478 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:15,046 WHO KNOWS WHERE THE PLANE WILL LAND. 479 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:20,051 I SEE WE ARE IN IT UP TO HERE. 480 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,554 THAT MAKES IT WELL OVER MY HEAD. 481 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,963 ( whispering ) - RENE. - RENE. 482 00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:34,466 COME. 483 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:38,971 RENE. 484 00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:41,973 IT'S ALL CLEAR, RENE. 485 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:42,975 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 486 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,476 ARE YOU FRIGHTENED? 487 00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,478 OF COURSE I'M FRIGHTENED. 488 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:48,980 THE COUNTRYSIDE IS FULL OF HIDDEN DANGERS. 489 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,483 I'VE JUST TRODDEN IN ONE. 490 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,485 SIGNAL FOR THE OTHERS. 491 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:54,986 ( whistles loudly ) 492 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,990 COULD YOU NOT DO AN OWL OR SOMETHING SIMILAR? 493 00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,491 IT IS THE ONLY SIGNAL I KNOW. 494 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,494 WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WHISTLE LIKE THAT? 495 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:04,496 WHEN SHE WAS WORKING IN PARIS. 496 00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:07,499 SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING TO ATTRACT ATTENTION. 497 00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:13,505 RENE, YOU DID NOT TELL US WE WOULD BE HELPING 498 00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:15,507 TWO BRITISH OFFICERS TO ESCAPE AS WELL. 499 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:16,508 WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS. 500 00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:18,510 THEY WILL GO BACK ON THE PLANE 501 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:20,011 THAT BRINGS YOUR UNIFORMS. 502 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,014 THEN WE CAN ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 503 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,016 FAIRFAX, WHAT'S GOING ON? 504 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,017 I'VE NO IDEA, 505 00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:27,519 BUT ANYTHING'S BETTER THAN THAT DAMN WARDROBE. 506 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,521 DON'T MOVE. 507 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:32,023 MICHELLE. 508 00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:34,026 WHY ARE YOU WEARING SUNGLASSES? 509 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,528 SO THESE GERMANS DON'T RECOGNIZE ME AGAIN. 510 00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:39,531 LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 511 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:41,032 UP THE ROAD IS A BRIDGE. 512 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,035 ON THE BRIDGE IS A GERMAN SENTRY. 513 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,037 - WHAT? - THERE IS ONLY ONE THING TO DO. 514 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,538 GO HOME? 515 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,039 NO. 516 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,541 THESE GERMAN OFFICERS 517 00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:52,043 MUST GIVE THE SENTRY ORDERS TO LET US PAST. 518 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,545 BUT WE ARE DRESSED AS ONION SELLERS. 519 00:21:53,545 --> 00:21:55,046 YOU MUST CONVINCE THEM, 520 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,549 OTHERWISE YOU DO NOT GET YOUR UNIFORMS. 521 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,053 HANS. 522 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:02,554 HOLD MY ONIONS. 523 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,082 HALT! OR I FIRE. 524 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,084 I AM COLONEL VON STROHM, 525 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,086 TOWN COMMANDANT. 526 00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:35,587 STAND TO ATTENTION WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU. 527 00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:38,590 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A SMELLY PEASANT? 528 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:40,091 MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 529 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:41,093 WHERE ARE YOUR PAPERS? 530 00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:48,600 SHE HAS KILLED HIM. 531 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,102 NO, HE IS JUST UNCONSCIOUS. 532 00:22:51,103 --> 00:22:54,106 RENE, WE ARE GERMAN OFFICERS. 533 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:57,609 WE CANNOT BE A PARTY TO KNOCKING OUT OUR OWN TROOPS. 534 00:22:57,609 --> 00:23:00,612 BUT COLONEL, HE WAS THE ONE WHO HIT YOU WITH HIS RIFLE BUTT. 535 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:03,615 SO HE DID. 536 00:23:03,615 --> 00:23:05,116 - THUG. - ( plane approaching ) 537 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:08,120 THAT IS THE PLANE. 538 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,122 IT WILL LAND IN THE NEXT FIELD. 539 00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:11,623 THIS WAY. 540 00:23:23,635 --> 00:23:26,137 ( plane engine humming ) 541 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:28,140 HERE IT IS. 542 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,641 I'LL GIVE THE SIGNAL. 543 00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:40,151 HAVE YOU GIVEN THE SIGNAL? 544 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:41,653 HE IS COMING IN NOW. 545 00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:42,654 STAND BY. 546 00:24:06,678 --> 00:24:07,679 COME ON. 547 00:24:07,679 --> 00:24:09,681 DON'T WASTE TIME. 548 00:24:21,693 --> 00:24:24,195 HELLO. IS THIS THE RIGHT PLACE? 549 00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:27,199 AN ENGLISHMAN, THANK GOD. 550 00:24:27,199 --> 00:24:28,700 WHERE'S THE UNIFORMS? 551 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,201 I WILL ASK HIM. 552 00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:32,704 I SAY, OLD CHAP, DO YOU HAVE THE UNIFORMS? 553 00:24:32,704 --> 00:24:35,206 BETTER THAN THAT. I'VE BROUGHT THE TAILOR. 554 00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:37,209 GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 555 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,711 MY NAME IS KLEIN, FROM SOLOMON AND KLEIN. 556 00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:42,213 I HAVE THE CUSTOMERS' SUITS RIGHT HERE. 557 00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,716 PERHAPS THE COLONEL WOULD LIKE TO TRY HIS JACKET FIRST? 558 00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:51,723 I SAY CARSTAIRS, 559 00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,725 THIS KITE'S ONLY GOT TWO SEATS. 560 00:24:53,725 --> 00:24:56,227 I EXPECT THE TAILOR'S STAYING BEHIND, 561 00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:59,231 AND WE CAN SIT ON EACH OTHER'S LAP ON HIS SEAT. 562 00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:00,232 BAGS, I ON TOP. 563 00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:03,735 OH DEAR. 564 00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:06,237 SIR HAS PUT ON A BIT OF WEIGHT, HASN'T HE? 565 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:07,739 WHERE DO YOU WEAR YOUR HOLSTER, 566 00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,741 ON THE RIGHT OR THE LEFT? 567 00:25:09,741 --> 00:25:11,743 THESE SHOULDERS ARE VERY WIDE. 568 00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:13,745 YES, THOSE SHOULDERS SEEM AWFULLY WIDE. 569 00:25:13,745 --> 00:25:15,747 DON'T WORRY, THEY'RE COMING BACK. 570 00:25:19,251 --> 00:25:21,253 YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT. 571 00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:22,254 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? 572 00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:24,756 DON'T WORRY. IT'S ONLY A FITTING. 573 00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:27,759 WHAT TIME CAN SIR MANAGE NEXT WEEK? 574 00:25:27,759 --> 00:25:29,260 WHY DON'T WE GO BACK, 575 00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:31,263 AND YOU STAY BEHIND AND FINISH THE SUITS? 576 00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:32,764 ARE YOU MAD? 577 00:25:32,764 --> 00:25:34,265 IT'S ASCOT WEEK. 578 00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:35,767 THE WORKROOM'S CHOC-A-BLOC! 579 00:25:36,768 --> 00:25:38,770 OFF WE GO THEN, CHAPS. 580 00:25:38,770 --> 00:25:40,772 Rene: QUICK, GIVE HIM THE PAINTING. 581 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,277 DON'T FORGET, WE WANT A COPY OF THIS. 582 00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:46,278 RIGHT-O. 583 00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:52,784 CONTACT. 584 00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:54,786 ( engine starts ) 585 00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:09,301 WELL, IT LOOKS TO ME THAT WE HAVE TO MEET 586 00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:12,304 GENERAL VON KLINKERHOFFEN IN OUR PAJAMAS. 587 00:26:22,814 --> 00:26:26,317 ( theme music playing )