1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:07,574
( theme music playing )
2
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MY NAME IS RENE.
THIS IS MY CAFE,
3
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,596
BUT AT THE MOMENT MY LIFE
IS ONE BIG PROBLEM.
4
00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:33,099
YOU SEE, I HAVE
TO BE NICE TO THE GERMANS.
5
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:36,102
THEY ARE MY CUSTOMERS.
THEY ARE WINNING THE WAR.
6
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,604
SO IF I AM NOT NICE TO THEM,
THEY WILL SHOOT ME.
7
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,608
I HAVE TO BE NICE
TO THE RESISTANCE.
8
00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,109
OTHERWISE,
THEY WILL SHOOT HIM
9
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:45,611
FOR BEING NICE
TO THE GERMANS.
10
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:48,114
I HAVE TO BE NICE
TO MY WIFE,
11
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BECAUSE IF SHE FINDS OUT
I'M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH YVETTE,
12
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SHE WILL SHOOT ME.
13
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,122
AND IF YVETTE FINDS OUT I'M
HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MARIA,
14
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:58,624
WELL, SHE WILL
SHOOT ME TOO.
15
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NOW, OTTO FLICK,
THE GESTAPO OFFICER,
16
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:02,628
IS HAVING DINNER
IN THE BACK ROOM.
17
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UPSTAIRS ARE TWO GERMAN OFFICERS
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR,
18
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BECAUSE I HAVE BORROWED
THEIR UNIFORMS
19
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,636
TO HELP TWO BRITISH AIRMEN
TO ESCAPE.
20
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:12,639
THE PIANIST OVER THERE
IS, IN FACT,
21
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,140
A FORGER
FOR THE MARQUIS.
22
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:18,644
AND THE GERMAN OFFICER
AT THAT TABLE FANCIES ME.
23
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,649
AND IT IS ONLY TUESDAY.
24
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RENE,
25
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THE COLONEL IS GETTING
VERY IMPATIENT.
26
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YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD HAVE
HIS UNIFORM BACK IN 15 MINUTES,
27
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IT IS NOW 45.
28
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TAKE HIS MIND OFF IT,
KEEP HIM AMUSED.
29
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HOW CAN I?
LOOK AT MY CELERY.
30
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MARIA, CAN'T YOU
ENTERTAIN HIM?
31
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HOW CAN I?
MY CELERY ISN'T EVEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR SOUP.
32
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RENE, HERR FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO
33
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IS PAYING HIS BILL.
34
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- HERR FLICK SAYS HE IS GOING
TO SEARCH THE BUILDING. - WHAT?
35
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,177
HE WILL FIND THE PAINTING
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA BY VAN CLOMP IN THE CELLAR.
36
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,678
NO, THE PAINTING
HAS GONE.
37
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,181
BUT SO TOO HAVE THE UNIFORMS
OF THE COLONEL AND YOUR CAPTAIN.
38
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IF THEY FIND
THE COLONEL AND CAPTAIN IN THEIR UNDERWEAR,
39
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:00,686
THIS COULD MAKE
THE GESTAPO SUSPICIOUS.
40
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HELGA, YOU MUST KEEP
HERR FLICK AMUSED.
41
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,693
AMUSING THE GESTAPO
IS VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS.
42
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,695
SURELY YOU CAN
THINK OF SOMETHING?
43
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I HAVE IT.
44
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,198
GIVE ME A LARGE GLASS
OF YOUR STRONGEST BRANDY.
45
00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,699
OF COURSE, AT ONCE.
46
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,711
YOU HAVE 10 MINUTES.
47
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MAKE IT FIVE.
48
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,717
WE MUST HIDE
THE GERMAN OFFICERS QUICKLY.
49
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,218
TAKE THEM TO THE ROOM
OF MY MOTHER.
50
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:34,220
MARIA, GO AND TELL
THE OFFICERS.
51
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,722
I WILL EXPLAIN
TO THE OLD GIRL.
52
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- ( banging )
- RENE, EDITH...
53
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CAN NOBODY HEAR ME-EEE?
54
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SHUT UP,
YOU OLD BAT.
55
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THIS PLACE IS
CRAWLING WITH THE GESTAPO.
56
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I SHALL TELL THEM NOTHING.
57
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NOW, LISTEN CAREFULLY
TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.
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TWO GERMAN OFFICERS
ARE COMING TO YOUR ROOM.
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( spits )
PIGS!
60
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I WILL FIGHT THEM
TO MY DYING BREATH.
61
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THEY HAVE ALREADY
TAKEN OFF THEIR UNIFORMS.
62
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HAVE YOU NO FINESSE?
63
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THEY WILL NOT
TOUCH YOU, MAMMA.
64
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:22,768
( laughs )
THAT IS WHAT THEY SAID IN 1917.
65
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QUICK,
GET IN THE WARDROBE.
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IF I DO NOT HAVE
MY UNIFORM IN 10 MINUTES,
67
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YOU WILL BE SHOT.
68
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BUT COLONEL,
YOUR REVOLVER
69
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IS ON THE BELT
OF THE UNIFORM,
70
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WHICH IS AROUND
THE WAIST
71
00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:38,784
OF THE BRITISH AIRMAN
WHO IS NOT HERE.
72
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- GET IN THE WARDROBE!
- MIND YOUR HEAD.
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RENE, HE IS SEARCHING
THE RESTAURANT,
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00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:45,291
AND THEN HE IS
ON HIS WAY UP HERE.
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WHO IS?
76
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:47,793
OTTO FLICK OF THE GESTAPO.
77
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- GESTAPO!
- GESTAPO!
78
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NOT A WORD.
THE GESTAPO ARE COMING!
79
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IF THEY FIND
THE GERMANS IN THE WARDROBE,
80
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I COULD BE SHOT.
81
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I SHALL NOT YIELD
82
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,807
TO THE TORTURE
OF THE GESTAPO,
83
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:05,812
LONG LIVE FRAAA-AAANCE!
84
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,313
SHUT UP!
85
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HERR OTTO FLICK!
86
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GOOD EVENING.
87
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:13,820
GOOD EVENING,
HERR FLICK.
88
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,823
I AM SORRY TO PUT YOU
TO INCONVENIENCE,
89
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,325
BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
I NEED TO KNOW.
90
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,328
THERE ARE TWO GERMAN OFFICERS
IN THE WARDROBE,
91
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:25,831
AND THE RADIO
IS UNDER MY BED.
92
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VERY AMUSING.
93
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I SEE I AM WASTING
MY TIME HERE.
94
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,838
HEIL HITLER.
95
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,340
HEIL HITLER.
96
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,478
I WILL TAKE THE COGNAC
TO THE GERMAN OFFICERS
97
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,480
IN THE ROOM
OF MY MOTHER.
98
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,981
IF THEY DO NOT GET
THEIR UNIFORMS SOON,
99
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THEY WILL GO MAD!
100
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GO WITH HER YVETTE,
101
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SHE IS UNDER
A GREAT STRAIN.
102
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RENE, WHEN ARE WE
GOING TO BE ALONE?
103
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:55,495
GO TO THE PANTRY,
WAIT FOR ME BY THE BRIE.
104
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KEEP THE--
105
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KEEP THE LID ON
UNTIL I ARRIVE.
106
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,003
CHECK THE WINDOW.
107
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:07,507
ALL CLEAR.
108
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:09,509
PUT THAT CHAIR
AT THE BACK OF THE DOOR.
109
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,015
NOW CLIMB ON THE CHAIR.
110
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:20,019
- OH, MARIA!
- OH, RENE!
111
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MY LITTLE CABBAGE,
MY LITTLE BEANSHOOT!
112
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MY BIG CUCUMBER.
113
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,028
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THE FEEL
114
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:32,031
OF YOUR FIRM
YOUNG BODY DOES TO ME.
115
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YES, I HAVE.
116
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HOLD ME FOREVER.
117
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( both moaning )
118
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WHAT WERE YOU
SAYING TO YVETTE?
119
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NOTHING!
NOTHING, NOTHING.
120
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,544
NO, SHE IS
NOTHING TO ME.
121
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,547
YOU ARE MY ONLY
TRUE LOVE.
122
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,048
BUT HOW LONG
CAN WE KEEP
123
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OUR AFFAIR SECRET
FROM YOUR WIFE?
124
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,551
AS LONG AS
MY HEARING IS GOOD,
125
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,053
AND MY REACTIONS
ARE QUICK.
126
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( knocking )
127
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SOMEONE AT THE WINDOW.
128
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YES, I HEARD.
129
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,561
BUT THESE COWARDLY
OLD LEGS OF MINE
130
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,563
ARE PARALYZED
WITH FEAR.
131
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,565
I SHALL SEE WHO IT IS.
132
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,069
HUH?
OH.
133
00:06:12,572 --> 00:06:14,574
YOU KNOW,
THE VELVET IS WEARING.
134
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,577
WE SHALL HAVE TO START USING
ANOTHER CHAIR SOON.
135
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:21,080
IT IS THE RESISTANCE.
136
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,581
MICHELLE,
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
137
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,584
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
138
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,085
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
139
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:28,087
RENE...
140
00:06:28,087 --> 00:06:30,089
THERE IS NO BRIE.
141
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:31,590
I ATE IT
LAST NIGHT.
142
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:34,093
LISTEN, I SHALL
SAY THIS ONLY ONCE--
143
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:35,594
RENE...
144
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,097
THE GERMAN OFFICERS
CANNOT STAY IN THE ROOM OF MY MOTHER.
145
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:40,099
LONDON WILL BE CALLING
ON THE RADIO.
146
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:41,600
THE RADIO IS
UNDER HER BED
147
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,603
AND THE LOUDSPEAKER
IS IN HER CHAMBER.
148
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,606
IF THE GERMANS HEAR A VOICE
COMING FROM HER CHAMBERPOT,
149
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OUR COVER WILL BE BLOWN.
150
00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,110
SHUT UP!
151
00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,112
MICHELLE HAS
SOMETHING TO TELL US.
152
00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:55,114
LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY,
153
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,616
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
154
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:58,618
WHAT IS IT
YOU ARE GOING TO SAY?
155
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,620
I HAVEN'T SAID IT YET.
156
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,622
IF YOU LISTEN,
I WILL TELL YOU.
157
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,625
THE SUSPENSE
IS KILLING ME.
158
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,126
THE TWO BRITISH AIRMEN
159
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:08,627
WEARING
THE GERMAN UNIFORMS
160
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:09,629
HAVE BEEN CAPTURED.
161
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,630
NO!
YES!
162
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:11,631
NO!
YES!
163
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,633
- NO!
- YES!
164
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:17,136
WILL NOBODY
BELIEVE THIS WOMAN?
165
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,138
GET ON WITH THE STORY.
166
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,640
THEY HAVE BEEN
CAPTURED BY THE RESISTANCE.
167
00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:22,642
THEN WHY
ARE WE WORRIED?
168
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:26,145
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN CAPTURED
BY OUR RESISTANCE.
169
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:28,147
WHAT OTHER
RESISTANCE IS THERE?
170
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,648
THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE.
171
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:30,650
WHAT ARE YOU?
172
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,151
- DE GAULLE.
- DE GAULLE?
173
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,152
HE IS THE TALL ONE.
174
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:35,154
WITH THE BIG HOOTER.
175
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,656
BUT CAN YOU NOT
JUST ASK THEM
176
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,158
IF WE CAN HAVE
OUR UNIFORMS BACK?
177
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,160
WE DO NOT KNOW WHERE
THEY ARE HIDING THEM.
178
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,662
WHAT IS MORE,
WE DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM.
179
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,666
WHEN THE WAR IS OVER,
WHICHEVER IS THE STRONGEST GROUP
180
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,667
WILL CONTROL FRANCE.
181
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:50,169
THE COMMUNISTS ARE
RUTHLESS KILLERS.
182
00:07:50,169 --> 00:07:51,670
WE WILL HAVE
TO ELIMINATE THEM.
183
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:53,673
WE CANNOT GET
THOSE GERMANS
184
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,675
OUT OF HERE
WITHOUT UNIFORMS.
185
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:57,677
THE UNIFORMS ARE NO PROBLEM.
186
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,178
LONDON CAN DO ANYTHING.
187
00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:02,681
I CANNOT TELL THE GERMANS
I'M IN TOUCH WITH LONDON.
188
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:04,684
THEY WILL HAVE ME SHOT!
189
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:07,687
WE COULD TELL
THEM MONSIEUR LECLERC, THE FORGER, IS A TAILOR,
190
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,189
AND HE IS GOING
TO MAKE THEM NEW UNIFORMS.
191
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:13,692
RENE, YOU ARE MARRIED
TO A VERY CLEVER WOMAN.
192
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:17,196
WELL, I HAVE
ALWAYS PREFERRED BRAINS TO BEAUTY.
193
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:20,199
UNLESS THEY
HAVE BIG KNOCKERS.
194
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:22,702
GO AND TELL LECLERC.
195
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,207
LOOK, HOW CAN WE GET
UNIFORMS FROM LONDON?
196
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:29,708
THE WIRELESS
IS UNDER THE BED
197
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:31,711
AND THE GERMANS
ARE IN THE WARDROBE.
198
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,212
THIS IS NO PROBLEM.
199
00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,714
WE WILL SEND
THE MESSAGE BY PIGEON.
200
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,216
WE HAVE NO PIGEONS!
201
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:38,217
THEY WILL BE PROVIDED.
202
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,719
TOMORROW MORNING
AT MIDDAY,
203
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,222
YOU WILL GO
TO 36 RUE D'ESCARGOT.
204
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,224
YOU WILL KNOCK
THREE TIMES,
205
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:47,726
AND THEY WILL
GIVE YOU PIGEONS.
206
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,729
TO AVOID SUSPICION,
207
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,731
YOU WILL BE DISGUISED
AS A SMALL BOY.
208
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,734
BUT WHY CAN'T I BE DISGUISED
AS A SMALL GIRL?
209
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,237
BECAUSE YOU ARE
A SMALL GIRL.
210
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,242
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
211
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,244
YES, YES.
OF COURSE.
212
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,746
I AM TO PRETEND
I AM A TAILOR.
213
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,750
BUT WHO DO I MEASURE?
214
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,252
TWO GERMAN OFFICERS.
THEY ARE IN THE ROOM OF MY MOTHER,
215
00:09:13,252 --> 00:09:16,255
IN THE WARDROBE,
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR.
216
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,257
OF COURSE.
217
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,463
I HAVE COME
FOR THE MEASUREMENTS.
218
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,964
RENE, EDITH!
219
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:28,467
IS IT THE UNDERTAKER?!
220
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:31,970
AND I AM IN THE PEAK
OF HEALTH.
221
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,976
THAT VOICE...
222
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,978
THAT FACE...
223
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,480
DO THESE OLD EYES
DECEIVE ME?
224
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:45,984
CAN IT BE,
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
225
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,490
MY... FANNY!
226
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:54,493
CAN IT BE?
227
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:56,995
IT IS. ROGER.
228
00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:02,501
MY OLD SWEETHEART,
ROGER.
229
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,503
FANNY!
230
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:08,006
- ROGER!
- FANNY!
231
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:12,511
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
232
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:16,014
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
233
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:23,022
IN THE NICK, MY LOVE,
IN THE NICK.
234
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:26,525
AND NOW FATE HAS
BROUGHT US TOGETHER.
235
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:31,030
REMEMBER WHEN
WE WERE YOUNG?
236
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,034
YOU USED TO
RUN YOUR FINGERS
237
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:39,038
THROUGH MY LOVELY
LONG HAIR.
238
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:46,045
REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS
USED TO BITE MY EAR?
239
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:49,548
I REMEMBER.
240
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:55,554
WHERE DID I PUT
MY TEETH?
241
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:04,563
THAT IS THE BARN,
THERE.
242
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:07,566
IS THAT WHERE THEY
ARE HIDING THEM?
243
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:08,567
WITHOUT A DOUBT.
244
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,569
WE MUST GET
THOSE UNIFORMS.
245
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,070
SO WE HAVE TO ATTACK.
246
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:14,073
NOW, LISTEN
VERY CAREFULLY,
247
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,574
I SHALL SAY THIS
ONLY ONCE.
248
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:20,079
( French accent )
RIGHT, LISTEN TO ME, MY FRIENDS.
249
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,581
UNLESS YOU TELL US
WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW,
250
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:26,084
I WILL MAKE LIFE
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR YOU.
251
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:28,587
( British accent )
WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT, DO YOU SUPPOSE?
252
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,088
I'VE ACTUALLY NO IDEA.
253
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:32,591
THE PROBLEM IS, I DO BELIEVE
THEY THINK WE'RE JERRIES.
254
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:34,593
Both:
NOT JERRIES!
255
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,096
IN DISGUISE.
256
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,597
ON YOUR SIDE.
257
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:40,098
SHOW THEM THE MAGNETO
AND THE LEADS.
258
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,103
PERHAPS YOU
RECOGNIZE
259
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,605
THIS METHOD
OF LOOSENING THE TONGUE?
260
00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:49,608
- I THINK I'VE
GOT IT, CARSTAIRS. - WHAT IS IT?
261
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,610
THEY'VE GOT A CAR
THAT WON'T START,
262
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:52,611
AND THEY WANT US
TO HELP THEM.
263
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:55,113
UNFORTUNATELY, I KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT CARS.
264
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,116
NEITHER DO I.
265
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,118
SORRY, CAN'T HELP.
266
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,123
SHE SEEMS DAMN KEEN
TO GET IT GOING.
267
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:06,125
YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES
TO TALK,
268
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,127
OTHERWISE,
I WILL SHOOT YOU.
269
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:10,629
IF WE DON'T GET IT GOING,
SHE'S GOING TO SHOOT HERSELF.
270
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:12,631
WELL, THAT'D BE
A DAMNED SHAME.
271
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,132
SUCH A PRETTY GIRL.
272
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,635
WE'D BETTER AGREE
TO DO WHAT WE CAN.
273
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,638
WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN.
274
00:12:19,638 --> 00:12:21,139
I THOUGHT SO,
275
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,142
THEY ARE PREPARED
TO TALK.
276
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,643
CUT THEM DOWN.
277
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,145
( both shriek )
278
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,149
READY?
TAKE AIM.
279
00:12:30,149 --> 00:12:31,650
FIRE!
280
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,652
QUICK!
281
00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:36,655
IT'S THE GERMANS!
OUT THE BACK WAY.
282
00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:39,157
I THINK WE'D BETTER
TAKE A POWDER, CARSTAIRS.
283
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:42,161
IF THAT'S THE JERRIES,
WE COULD BE SHOT AS SPIES.
284
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,163
WE'D BETTER GET RID
OF THESE UNIFORMS.
285
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:46,665
SHOVE THEM
ON THE FIRE.
286
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:51,670
CEASE FIRE.
287
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,177
THEY ARE
RUNNING FOR IT.
288
00:12:58,177 --> 00:13:00,679
THEY THINK
WE ARE GERMANS.
289
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,681
GET TO THE BRIDGE.
WE WILL CUT THEM OFF THERE.
290
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:05,684
I THOUGHT THEY WERE
ON OUR SIDE?
291
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,054
( off-key )
♪ HEAR MY SONG ♪
292
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:13,058
♪ IN MY GONDOLA-AAA ♪
293
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:15,560
♪ WAITING ON THE-- ♪
294
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:20,566
♪ OLD LAGOO-OON. ♪
295
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,077
RENE, THE GERMAN OFFICERS
WILL WAIT NO LONGER.
296
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:33,578
THEY ARE COMING
DOWNSTAIRS.
297
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:34,580
IN THEIR UNDERWEAR?!
298
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,582
NO, THEY HAVE
CHANGED, LOOK.
299
00:13:38,584 --> 00:13:40,586
WHERE DID THEY GET
THOSE CLOTHES?
300
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:42,588
FROM THE WARDROBE IN THE ROOM
OF YOUR WIFE'S MOTHER.
301
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:45,090
THEY ARE THE DISGUISES LEFT
BY THE BRITISH AIRMEN.
302
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:49,594
AH, PIERRE AND JACQUES,
THE ONION SELLERS.
303
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,096
WINE ON THE HOUSE
304
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,098
FOR MY OLD FRIENDS,
PIERRE AND JACQUES.
305
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:54,599
COME AND SIT DOWN
OVER HERE, MY FRIENDS.
306
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,603
THAT'S IT.
SIT VERY COMFORTABLY HERE.
307
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,604
THAT IS IT,
308
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,606
A BRILLIANT DISGUISE,
COLONEL.
309
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,108
WE'LL HAVE
YOUR UNIFORMS BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
310
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:04,109
YOU SAID THAT
YESTERDAY!
311
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,111
IF WE DO NOT GET
THE UNIFORMS TODAY,
312
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:07,612
YOU WILL BE SHOT!
313
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,615
UP AGAINST A WALL,
WITH GUNS.
314
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:12,618
BUT I SEE YOU ARE
A MAN OF COMPASSION.
315
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:14,620
EVEN AS YOU SAY
THESE WORDS
316
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,121
THERE ARE TEARS
IN YOUR EYES.
317
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:17,622
IT'S THESE DAMNED ONIONS!
318
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:20,625
AH! AH...
319
00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,128
LITTLE GEORGE,
MY NEPHEW.
320
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:27,132
WELL, IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU AGAIN, LAD.
321
00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:29,134
I HAVE WHAT YOU WANT
RIGHT IN HERE.
322
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,635
Y-YEAH. GOOD BOY,
GOOD BOY.
323
00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,137
NOW TAKE THAT BASKET
324
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:34,139
FULL OF YOUR SCHOOL BOOKS,
325
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:35,640
AND PUT IT
IN THE BACK ROOM.
326
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:38,143
FOR YOU, UNCLE,
ANYTHING.
327
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,648
OOH!
328
00:14:42,648 --> 00:14:44,149
HEH HEH.
329
00:14:44,149 --> 00:14:47,652
THAT BOY IS
VERY WELL BUILT.
330
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:50,155
YEAH, IT IS
MY WIFE'S COOKING.
331
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,657
WHY IS HE WEARING
STOCKINGS AND SUSPENDERS?
332
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:56,661
WE HAVE MANY PROBLEMS
WITH HIM.
333
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,166
OTTO FLICK
OF THE GESTAPO
334
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:02,667
IS MEETING ME HERE
FOR LUNCH.
335
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,169
YOU MUST GO
AT ONCE!
336
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:05,670
Rene:
TOO LATE, HERE HE IS.
337
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:10,675
AH, HELGA,
YOU ARE HERE EARLY. THAT IS GOOD.
338
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,177
YOU TOLD ME
NOT TO BE LATE!
339
00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:13,678
YOUR OBEDIENCE
PLEASES ME.
340
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,681
- SIT!
- YES, HERR FLICK.
341
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:17,182
WHERE?
342
00:15:17,182 --> 00:15:19,184
HERE.
343
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,685
YOU!
FRENCH PEASANTS!
344
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,689
I AM THE GESTAPO.
I WANT THIS TABLE.
345
00:15:23,689 --> 00:15:25,691
GO AWAY OR YOU
WILL BE SHOT.
346
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:28,693
WE COULD TAKE
THAT TABLE.
347
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,195
HELGA...
348
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:32,197
WHEN I MAKE UP
MY MIND I WANT SOMETHING,
349
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,698
I ALWAYS GET IT.
350
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,701
THIS I KNOW, HERR FLICK.
351
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:38,203
IT IS WHY I FIND YOU
SO EXCITING.
352
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:39,204
NATURALLY.
353
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:41,706
YOU FRENCH PEASANTS,
I AM SPEAKING TO YOU.
354
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:42,708
LOOK AT ME!
355
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,714
COLONEL VON STROHM
356
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:51,216
AND CAPTAIN GEERING.
357
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:52,717
HEIL HITLER.
358
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,720
KLUP!
359
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,723
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
IN THE FASHION OF ONION SELLERS?
360
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:01,226
- WE CAN EXPLAIN.
- WE CAN EXPLAIN.
361
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,727
I'M WAITING.
362
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:03,729
HE'S WAITING.
363
00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:07,733
I AM TRYING
TO INFILTRATE THE RESISTANCE.
364
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,234
I AM DOING THE SAME
AS HE IS.
365
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,738
DRESSED AS A COLONEL,
THE FRENCH AVOID ME.
366
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:16,742
BUT WITH THESE ONIONS,
I AM ONE OF THEM.
367
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:19,244
I AM ONE OF THEM TOO.
368
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,247
I MUST ADMIT,
YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM.
369
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,748
( clears throat )
370
00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:27,252
I COULD NOT HELP OVERHEARING
THIS CONVERSATION--
371
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,254
THIS HAS GOT NOTHING
TO DO WITH YOU!
372
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:34,259
GO AND DRINK
YOUR COGNAC.
373
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,763
THIS IS AN IDEA
WORTHY OF THE GESTAPO.
374
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,265
HELGA, COME WITH ME.
375
00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:41,266
YES, HERR FLICK.
376
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,770
COLONEL, DO YOU THINK
HE SUSPECTS ANYTHING?
377
00:16:45,771 --> 00:16:46,772
NOT AT THE MOMENT.
378
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:49,274
BUT WE MUST HAVE
THOSE UNIFORMS.
379
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,776
WELL, THERE IS
A SLIGHT PROBLEM, COLONEL.
380
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,779
WHAT PROBLEM?
YOU HAVE OUR MEASUREMENTS.
381
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:55,781
ALL WE NEED IS A FITTING.
382
00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,783
YES, WELL, THAT TOO
WOULD BE A PROBLEM.
383
00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,787
- YOU SEE, THE UNIFORMS
ARE BEING MADE IN LONDON. - Both: WHAT?!
384
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:04,289
DON'T WORRY. THEY'LL BE
MADE BY THE VERY BEST TAILORS.
385
00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:06,791
MAYBE EVEN SAVILE ROW.
386
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,794
COLONEL, WE ARE GERMANS!
387
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,796
TO HAVE OUR UNIFORMS
MADE IN LONDON
388
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,297
MUST BE AGAINST THE RULES.
389
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,299
RIGHT. THAT DOES IT!
390
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:17,302
I WILL TELL THE GESTAPO
AND YOU WILL BE SHOT!
391
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,304
AH, BUT DEAR COLONEL,
392
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:22,307
WITH RESPECT, I AM AFRAID
YOU ARE IN TOO DEEP.
393
00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,309
THERE IS THE LITTLE MATTER
394
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,311
OF HELPING
THE BRITISH AIRMEN TO ESCAPE.
395
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:27,812
YOU DID DO THAT,
COLONEL.
396
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,314
THEN THERE IS
THE PRICELESS PAINTING
397
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:31,316
OF THE FALLEN MADONNA
BY VAN CLOMP,
398
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,318
WHICH IS WANTED
BY THE FUHRER.
399
00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:35,320
YOU DID PINCH THAT,
COLONEL.
400
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,323
YOU'RE IN IT JUST
AS DEEP AS I AM.
401
00:17:38,323 --> 00:17:41,326
I ONLY FOLLOW ORDERS,
YOUR ORDERS!
402
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:42,827
DEAR LOVELY COLONEL,
403
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,330
THERE IS NO REAL REASON
TO WORRY.
404
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,832
VERY SOON YOU WILL
HAVE YOUR UNIFORMS BACK,
405
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,335
AND THE COPY OF THE PAINTING
TO GIVE TO THE GESTAPO,
406
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,337
TO PLEASE THE FUHRER. EH?
407
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:53,838
THE GIRLS WILL
BE HERE
408
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,841
WITH THE WET
CELERY,
409
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:58,343
AND LIFE WILL BE
BACK TO NORMAL.
410
00:17:58,343 --> 00:18:00,345
HE IS RIGHT,
COLONEL.
411
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,846
HE'D BETTER BE.
412
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,349
THIS WAR IS GETTING
VERY DANGEROUS.
413
00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:06,351
I WILL ASK MY WIFE
TO PREPARE FOR YOU
414
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,353
A VERY SPECIAL LUNCH.
415
00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:10,856
EDITH...
416
00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:13,859
WE MUST KEEP
THOSE ONION SELLERS HAPPY.
417
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,861
SHALL I SING A SONG
FOR THEM?
418
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,362
NO!
419
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:19,364
I WANT YOU TO GO
INTO THE KITCHEN
420
00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:21,366
AND DO SOMETHING
UNFORGETTABLE.
421
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:23,368
RENE,
422
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,869
YOU HAVE NOT
SAID THAT TO ME
423
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,371
SINCE APRIL 1940.
424
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:28,874
OH!
425
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,013
MARIA,
426
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:38,016
I AM VERY
CROSS WITH YOU.
427
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:40,018
SHALL I GET ON THE CHAIR?
428
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,519
NO!
429
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,022
WHAT ARE THESE--
DOING HERE, HMM?
430
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:46,024
THEY'RE SUSPENDERS
TO KEEP UP MY STOCKINGS.
431
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:50,528
GENTLEMEN DO NOT WEAR
SUSPENDERS AND STOCKINGS.
432
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:53,532
YOU SHOULD SEE THE COLONEL
ON A GOOD NIGHT.
433
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,033
YOU NEARLY GAVE AWAY
THE WHOLE GAME.
434
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:57,035
NOW TAKE THOSE PIGEONS
AND HIDE THEM.
435
00:18:58,537 --> 00:19:00,539
AND FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE,
PUT ON A DRESS.
436
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,542
THE GERMAN LIEUTENANT
THINKS I'M LIKE THAT--
437
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,544
- YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE?
- YES.
438
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,045
- DON'T MOVE.
- AAH!
439
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:08,546
LOCK THE DOOR.
440
00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,549
ARE WE ALONE?
441
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:14,052
WELL, UNLESS YOU COUNT
THE THREE OF US, YES.
442
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:16,554
HAVE YOU FOUND THE BRITISH
WITH THE UNIFORMS?
443
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,056
WE FOUND THEM,
BUT THEY RAN AWAY.
444
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:20,558
- DO YOU HAVE
THE PIGEONS? - YES.
445
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:23,562
GOOD, I HAVE HERE
THE CYLINDER TO ATTACH TO THEIR LEGS.
446
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:25,564
DO YOU HAVE
THE MEASUREMENTS OF THE GERMAN OFFICERS?
447
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,065
OH, YES.
I'VE GOT THEM HERE.
448
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:29,567
GOOD. MARIA YOU WILL
PUT THIS IN HERE
449
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:32,070
AND CLIP IT TO THE LEG
OF ONE OF THE PIGEONS.
450
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,072
YOU, RENE, WILL
WRITE A DESCRIPTION
451
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:36,574
OF THE UNIFORMS
WE REQUIRE.
452
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,076
HERE IS THE PAPER
SUPPLIED WITH THE CYLINDER.
453
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:40,578
WHAT SHALL I SAY?
454
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:43,582
"TO LONDON, PLEASE
SUPPLY URGENTLY,
455
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:46,585
BY PARACHUTE DROP
AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE,
456
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:49,087
GERMAN UNIFORMS
AS FOLLOWS:
457
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:52,590
ONE COLONEL
IN RESEARCH REGIMENT
458
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,593
- WITH THE FOLLOWING MEDALS...
- JU-- JU-- JUST--
459
00:19:54,593 --> 00:19:56,094
A MOMENT, PLEASE!
460
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:59,097
HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO GET ALL THAT
461
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:01,099
ON THIS LITTLE BIT
OF PAPER?
462
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,101
WITH VERY SMALL WRITING.
463
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,603
DO YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD
FOUND THOSE BRITISH,
464
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,105
WE COULD HAVE GOT
THE UNIFORMS BACK?
465
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,107
WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO
GO THROUGH ALL THIS FARRAGO.
466
00:20:09,107 --> 00:20:10,108
( knocking )
467
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:13,612
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
468
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:15,113
SORRY ABOUT
THE TOGS,
469
00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,616
WE HAD TO PINCH THEM
OFF A COUPLE OF SCARECROWS.
470
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,619
NEVER MIND THAT CHAPS,
WHAT ABOUT THE UNIFORMS?
471
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:22,120
WE BURNED THEM.
472
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,122
WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE
THOUGHT AS SPIES.
473
00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:26,124
THE PAINTING'S
SAFE THOUGH.
474
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,625
WHAT ARE THEY
JABBERING ABOUT?
475
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,629
THEY HAVE THE PICTURE,
BUT THEY HAVE BURNED THE UNIFORMS.
476
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,130
OH, HECK.
477
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:35,633
WELL, THEY CANNOT STAY HERE.
GERMANS ARE EVERYWHERE.
478
00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,135
YOU WILL HAVE
TO FIND SOMEWHERE.
479
00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:39,137
THERE IS ONLY THE ROOM
OF MY WIFE'S MOTHER.
480
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:42,140
AND THE GERMAN COLONEL
AND CAPTAIN ARE HIDING THERE.
481
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,641
OH, NO, NO.
THEY ARE NOW IN THE RESTAURANT
482
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:46,144
DISGUISED
AS ONION SELLERS.
483
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,646
THEN WE DON'T HAVE
TO SEND THE MESSAGE BY THE PIGEON.
484
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,148
WE CAN USE
THE RADIO.
485
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,151
WHAT SHALL I DO
WITH THESE?
486
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,653
HIDE THEM.
487
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,155
COME, PLEASE.
488
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:03,661
HELLO MAMMA, IT IS I,
LITTLE EDITH.
489
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,168
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE BED OF MY MOTHER?
490
00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:12,170
UH, WELL...
491
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:14,672
WE WERE CHILDHOOD
SWEETHEARTS.
492
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:16,675
SHE WAS MY LOVE,
493
00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,177
BUT I THOUGHT
I HAD LOST IT.
494
00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:23,681
AND NOW, ONCE AGAIN,
HE HAS FOUND IT.
495
00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,686
THIS COULD ONLY
HAPPEN IN FRANCE.
496
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:30,188
HERE IS YOUR SOUP.
497
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:32,190
MAMMA, I--
498
00:21:32,190 --> 00:21:35,193
WHAT IS THE FORGER,
WHO IS PRETENDING TO BE A TAILOR,
499
00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:37,195
DOING IN BED
WITH YOUR MOTHER?
500
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:40,198
HE'S AN OLD LOVER.
ISN'T IT ROMANTIC?
501
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:42,200
RHEUMATIC, I WOULD SAY.
502
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,703
NOW LISTEN TO ME,
FOR A VERY BRIEF PERIOD
503
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:48,707
YOU MUST ACCOMMODATE
THESE TWO BRITISH AIRMEN.
504
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:51,209
THESE TOGS HAVE
A FRIGHTFUL PONG,
505
00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,211
COULD YOU HANG THEM
ON A LINE OR SOMETHING?
506
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,213
THEY TAKE OFF
THEIR CLOTHES!
507
00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:57,215
THEY ARE NO BETTER
THAN THE GERMANS.
508
00:21:57,215 --> 00:21:59,217
PROTECT ME!
509
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,219
- THE RADIO.
- OH, YES.
510
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:03,221
COME ON, CHAPS,
LEND A HAND, LIFT THE BED.
511
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:04,222
OH, RIGHT-O.
512
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:05,223
AARGHH!
513
00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:07,225
THE SOUP!
514
00:22:07,225 --> 00:22:09,227
- HOLD THIS!
- OH, THANK YOU, VERY MUCH.
515
00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:10,728
YOU HAVE THIS.
516
00:22:10,729 --> 00:22:13,732
I SAY, THEY CAN'T HAVE
MUCH CONFIDENCE IN THE SOUP.
517
00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:16,735
'ALLO, 'ALLO,
THIS IS NIGHTHAWK.
518
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,737
ARE YOU RECEIVING ME?
OVER.
519
00:22:26,611 --> 00:22:29,113
THESE ARE
MY PRIVATE QUARTERS.
520
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,123
I HAVE HAD IT MADE
COMPLETELY SOUNDPROOFED.
521
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:40,625
I CAN GUESS WHY.
522
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:45,129
YES, THE NOISE
OF THE LORRIES WAS KEEPING ME AWAKE AT NIGHT.
523
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:50,635
THIS IS MY GODFATHER,
HEINRICH HIMMLER.
524
00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:53,638
THAT ONE IS ME
IN THE HITLER YOUTH.
525
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,142
YOUR KNEES ARE
VERY BEAUTIFUL.
526
00:22:58,143 --> 00:23:00,145
THAT'S WHY I JOINED.
527
00:23:00,145 --> 00:23:02,647
I, TOO, WAS IN
THE HITLER YOUTH.
528
00:23:02,647 --> 00:23:05,149
WE ARE TWO OF A KIND.
YOU MAY KISS ME.
529
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:25,169
THAT GAVE ME
GREAT PLEASURE.
530
00:23:27,672 --> 00:23:30,174
THIS ROOM HAS
A VERY EXCITING ATMOSPHERE.
531
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:33,177
DO YOU INTERROGATE
PEOPLE HERE?
532
00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:35,680
WELL, JUST A LITTLE BIT.
533
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,182
I HAVE TO KEEP UP
APPEARANCES.
534
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:40,185
BERLIN EXPECTS
THIS SORT OF THING.
535
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:43,688
BUT AS YOU KNOW...
I AM A SOFTIE AT HEART.
536
00:23:43,688 --> 00:23:46,190
SIT IN THAT CHAIR.
537
00:23:46,191 --> 00:23:47,192
YES, HERR FLICK.
538
00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:56,701
I WANT SOME
INFORMATION FROM YOU.
539
00:23:56,701 --> 00:23:57,702
( gasp )
540
00:23:57,702 --> 00:24:00,204
I WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING,
HERR FLICK, ANYTHING!
541
00:24:00,205 --> 00:24:02,207
THE COLONEL
AND THE CAPTAIN...
542
00:24:02,207 --> 00:24:05,210
DO YOU THINK
THEY KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS
543
00:24:05,210 --> 00:24:07,712
OF "THE FALLEN MADONNA"
BY VAN CLOMP?
544
00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:09,213
I AM SURE THEY DO NOT.
545
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,715
GOOD, WE WILL
HAVE SOME WINE.
546
00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:16,220
GO TO THAT CUPBOARD.
547
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,722
YES, HERR FLICK.
548
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:22,227
OPEN IT.
549
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:23,228
YES, HERR FLICK.
550
00:24:25,730 --> 00:24:27,732
FROM TIME TO TIME,
IT IS NECESSARY
551
00:24:27,732 --> 00:24:30,234
FOR THE GESTAPO
TO HAVE MANY DISGUISES.
552
00:24:31,736 --> 00:24:34,238
BRING ME THE TWO HANGERS
ON THE EXTREME RIGHT.
553
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:36,241
YES, HERR FLICK.
554
00:24:39,244 --> 00:24:42,247
THESE ARE THE CLOTHES
OF ONION SELLERS.
555
00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:44,749
WE WILL DISGUISE OURSELVES
AND RETURN TO THE CAFE.
556
00:24:44,749 --> 00:24:46,250
DO YOU THINK
THEY WILL FIT?
557
00:24:46,251 --> 00:24:48,753
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.
558
00:24:48,753 --> 00:24:50,755
TAKE OFF YOUR UNIFORM.
559
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:53,758
YES, HERR FLICK.
560
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:07,271
WE WILL OBSERVE
THE NORMAL PROPRIETIES.
561
00:25:07,272 --> 00:25:09,774
I WILL CHANGE
BEHIND THIS SCREEN.
562
00:25:14,779 --> 00:25:16,781
CONTINUE TO TAKE OFF
YOUR UNIFORM.
563
00:25:32,797 --> 00:25:34,298
HERR FLICK,
564
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:36,301
I HOPE YOU DO NOT
DISAPPROVE
565
00:25:36,301 --> 00:25:37,802
OF MY CHOICE
OF UNDERGARMENTS.
566
00:25:37,802 --> 00:25:40,304
NOT AT ALL.
567
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:44,309
SUCH THINGS ARE VERY POPULAR
IN BERLIN THESE DAYS.
568
00:26:02,827 --> 00:26:05,329
YOU KNOW, COLONEL,
IT IS QUITE PLEASANT
569
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,831
TO BE A FRENCH
ONION SELLER.
570
00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,833
PEOPLE SMILE AT US.
571
00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:12,837
MMM. ESPECIALLY THAT
GERMAN OFFICER OVER THERE.
572
00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:14,839
HELLO.
573
00:26:14,839 --> 00:26:16,841
I PREFER--
574
00:26:16,841 --> 00:26:18,342
I THINK I PREFER
BEING A PEASANT
575
00:26:18,343 --> 00:26:19,844
TO BEING A GERMAN.
576
00:26:19,844 --> 00:26:22,346
YOU'LL BE A DEAD PEASANT
IF HERR FLICK FINDS OUT
577
00:26:22,347 --> 00:26:24,849
WE'VE BEEN HELPING
BRITISH AIRMEN TO ESCAPE.
578
00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:27,852
I HAVE GOOD NEWS,
COLONEL.
579
00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:29,854
LONDON IS MAKING
YOUR UNIFORMS.
580
00:26:29,854 --> 00:26:31,856
THEY ARE WORKING
THROUGH THE NIGHT
581
00:26:31,856 --> 00:26:34,358
AND THEY WILL BE
DROPPED BY PARACHUTE AT DAWN TOMORROW.
582
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:35,360
BUT HOW DO WE KNOW
THEY WILL FIT?
583
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,362
THEY ARE BEING MADE
BY THE VERY BEST
584
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:40,365
SAVILE ROW TAILORS,
SOLOMON AND KLEIN.
585
00:26:42,367 --> 00:26:44,869
JEWISH TAILORS?!
586
00:26:44,869 --> 00:26:46,871
ARE YOU MAD?
587
00:26:46,871 --> 00:26:49,373
THEY ARE THE BEST,
HERR COLONEL.
588
00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:50,875
THAT'S NOT THE POINT,
HANS.
589
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,377
IT'S THE PRINCIPLE
OF THE THING.
590
00:26:53,378 --> 00:26:55,380
IF I HAD KNOWN THEY WERE
EMPLOYING JEWISH TAILORS,
591
00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:56,881
THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN
DIFFERENT.
592
00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:58,883
WE COULD HAVE ORDERED
SOME EXTRA SHIRTS.
593
00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:02,387
YOUR LUNCH
WILL SOON BE READY.
594
00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:04,889
WHAT IS IT?
GEFILTE FISH AND BAGELS?
595
00:27:04,889 --> 00:27:06,891
( laughs )
596
00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:08,893
NO, IT IS A SURPRISE.
597
00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:10,895
HOW MUCH LONGER
DO WE HAVE TO WAIT?
598
00:27:10,895 --> 00:27:13,397
SHALL I SING YOU A SONG
TO HELP PASS THE TIME?
599
00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:15,900
NO! GET BACK
TO THE KITCHEN.
600
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,904
OH MY GOD,
MORE ONION SELLERS.
601
00:27:20,905 --> 00:27:22,907
COLONEL,
602
00:27:22,907 --> 00:27:25,910
IT IS I, HELGA.
603
00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:28,412
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
AS AN ONION SELLER?
604
00:27:28,413 --> 00:27:29,914
HERR FLICK WILL BE
SUSPICIOUS.
605
00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:31,916
HE IS ALSO DISGUISED
AS AN ONION SELLER.
606
00:27:38,923 --> 00:27:41,425
GOOD AFTERNOON,
HERR PATRON.
607
00:27:41,426 --> 00:27:44,429
I AM JUST A SIMPLE
ONION SELLER
608
00:27:44,429 --> 00:27:46,931
IN SEARCH
OF WINE AND FOOD.
609
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:49,433
- SIT!
- YES, HERR ONION SELLER.
610
00:27:49,434 --> 00:27:53,438
I WILL OBTAIN
WINE AND FOOD AT ONCE.
611
00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:54,939
MONSIEUR RENE,
612
00:27:54,939 --> 00:27:56,941
THAT ONION SELLER THERE,
613
00:27:56,941 --> 00:27:58,442
IS HE ANOTHER COUSIN?
614
00:27:58,443 --> 00:27:59,944
OH, VERY DISTANT,
YES.
615
00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,947
I'M BEGINNING
TO RECOGNIZE YOUR COUSINS.
616
00:28:02,947 --> 00:28:06,450
THEY ARE ALL...
VERY WELL BUILT.
617
00:28:06,451 --> 00:28:08,453
HERE IT IS,
618
00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:10,455
A WORK OF ART.
619
00:28:10,455 --> 00:28:11,956
CASSEROLE OF PIGEON.
620
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,462
IT LOOKS
VERY APPETIZING.
621
00:28:18,463 --> 00:28:20,465
WILL YOU JOIN US?
622
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:22,467
I SHALL BE
MOST HONORED.
623
00:28:24,469 --> 00:28:25,970
BREAST OR LEG?
624
00:28:25,970 --> 00:28:27,471
I LIKE THE LEGS.
625
00:28:27,472 --> 00:28:29,474
I CAN VOUCH FOR
THE TRUTH OF THIS.
626
00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:32,977
WHERE DID YOU
GET PIGEON?
627
00:28:32,977 --> 00:28:34,979
THEY WERE IN A BASKET
IN THE KITCHEN.
628
00:28:34,979 --> 00:28:37,481
YOU FOOL, THEY WERE
CARRIER PIGEONS!
629
00:28:37,482 --> 00:28:38,983
- NO?
- YES!
630
00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:40,985
- NO!
- DON'T START.
631
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,487
THERE, ON THE LEG,
IS A CYLINDER.
632
00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:44,989
IT CONTAINS
THE MEASUREMENTS
633
00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:46,490
OF THE COLONEL.
634
00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:48,993
THERE IS A CYLINDER
ATTACHED TO THE LEG
635
00:28:48,993 --> 00:28:51,996
OF THIS CASSEROLED PIGEON.
636
00:28:51,996 --> 00:28:53,497
UH, UH--
637
00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:55,500
SPICES, HERR F--
638
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,502
THEY SHOULD HAVE
BEEN REMOVED. ALLOW ME.
639
00:28:57,502 --> 00:28:58,503
STOP!
640
00:28:58,503 --> 00:29:00,505
I WILL INVESTIGATE.
641
00:29:02,507 --> 00:29:04,509
INSIDE THE CYLINDER
642
00:29:04,509 --> 00:29:07,011
COVERED IN GRAVY...
643
00:29:07,011 --> 00:29:09,513
THERE IS A PIECE
OF PAPER...
644
00:29:09,514 --> 00:29:11,015
WITH WRITING ON IT!
645
00:29:11,015 --> 00:29:13,517
PERHAPS IT IS
THE RECIPE?
646
00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:19,023
OR MAYBE EVEN THE NAME
AND ADDRESS OF THE PIGEON?
647
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:23,027
CLEARLY IT IS IN CODE.
648
00:29:23,027 --> 00:29:24,528
THIS WILL GO AT ONCE
TO BERLIN
649
00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,531
TO BE DECIPHERED
BY EXPERTS.
650
00:29:27,532 --> 00:29:30,034
CONGRATULATIONS,
HERR COLONEL,
651
00:29:30,034 --> 00:29:33,537
ALREADY THESE DISGUISES
ARE PRODUCING RESULTS.
652
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,043
RENE,
653
00:29:39,043 --> 00:29:41,045
WHAT WAS ON THAT PAPER?
654
00:29:41,045 --> 00:29:43,547
WHAT WILL THEY DISCOVER?
655
00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:47,051
ONLY THAT SOMEBODY'S
INSIDE LEG MEASUREMENT IS 34,
656
00:29:47,051 --> 00:29:49,553
CHEST 42, AND NECK 17.
657
00:29:49,554 --> 00:29:50,555
WHO'S THAT PERSON?
658
00:29:50,555 --> 00:29:52,557
YOU, COLONEL.
659
00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:54,559
IT WAS FOR THE NEW UNIFORM,
BUT DON'T WORRY,
660
00:29:54,559 --> 00:29:56,060
YOUR NAME WAS NOT
UPON IT.
661
00:29:56,060 --> 00:29:58,062
SUPPOSE THEY IDENTIFY IT
FROM THE MEASUREMENTS?
662
00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:59,563
COLONEL,
663
00:29:59,564 --> 00:30:02,567
MANY PEOPLE
HAVE A 42 CHEST.
664
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:05,570
EVEN HELGA,
IF YOU INCLUDE HER ONIONS.
665
00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:08,573
WHAT SHALL WE DO, HANS?
666
00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:12,577
I THINK WE SHOULD
EAT THE PIGEONS.
667
00:30:12,577 --> 00:30:14,579
HANS, YOU ARE RIGHT!
668
00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:17,081
RENE, THE VEGETABLES!
669
00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:18,582
AT ONCE,
HERR COLONEL.
670
00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:21,586
( theme music playing )