1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:07,397 [Car engine starts] 3 00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,767 [Tyres screeching] 4 00:00:20,470 --> 00:00:26,676 Once upon a time, there was a famous Sheriff. It Was Not so long ago in our very own galaxy.. 5 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,125 [Heroic instrumental music] 6 00:00:58,728 --> 00:01:01,101 Bandit, me and Fred've got a question. 7 00:01:01,189 --> 00:01:02,563 BANDIT: What do you and Fred want? 8 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,754 - How come we doing this? - Why not? 9 00:01:04,791 --> 00:01:07,697 - They said it couldn't be done. - That's the reason. 10 00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,673 That's good with Fred. We're clear. 11 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:11,352 Ten-four. 12 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,036 I'm Big Enos Burdette. 13 00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:17,231 This is my son, Little Enos. 14 00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:21,860 [Fast-paced country instrumental music] 15 00:01:26,874 --> 00:01:29,032 Hold on to your ass, Fred. 16 00:01:31,503 --> 00:01:34,455 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 17 00:01:36,298 --> 00:01:38,588 What we're dealing with here... 18 00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:43,271 is a complete lack of respect for the law. 19 00:01:59,231 --> 00:02:01,983 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 20 00:02:14,158 --> 00:02:20,248 Nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker. 21 00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,083 JUNIOR: Daddy, look out! 22 00:02:33,589 --> 00:02:37,294 JUNIOR: Daddy? BUFORD: Shut up, Junior. I'm thinking. 23 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:40,620 - What are you thinking about? - Retiring. 24 00:02:46,974 --> 00:02:48,516 MAN: Atten-hut! 25 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:54,140 [Drum roll] 26 00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:01,726 [Bugle playing] 27 00:03:13,743 --> 00:03:16,720 You can all sit down now. 28 00:03:19,791 --> 00:03:23,916 I want to thank you nice ladies and gentlemen... 29 00:03:24,084 --> 00:03:26,623 and my fellow officers... 30 00:03:26,712 --> 00:03:30,661 for coming here this evening to celebrate the retirement... 31 00:03:30,757 --> 00:03:35,450 of an old friend, Sheriff Buford T. Justice. 32 00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:38,921 I think I can truthfully say... 33 00:03:39,013 --> 00:03:41,765 that tonight I feel as if I... 34 00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:44,967 were emerging victoriously... 35 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:48,391 from a 35-year war. 36 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:52,270 A war to uphold law and order. 37 00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:54,070 LITTLE ENOS: Daddy, I'm bored. 38 00:03:54,107 --> 00:03:57,079 I'm bored hearing about your boredom. 39 00:03:57,130 --> 00:04:00,150 That's why I went to all this trouble. Now we're going to have fun! 40 00:04:00,186 --> 00:04:03,166 As much fun as putting Ex-Lax in the Dallas water supply? 41 00:04:03,203 --> 00:04:05,745 Yeah, and then cornering the market on toilet paper. 42 00:04:05,782 --> 00:04:07,318 More fun than that. 43 00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:11,836 And what fond memories were brought back... 44 00:04:12,621 --> 00:04:16,867 when I saw those 211s, the 502s... 45 00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:20,866 and the DWls and the APBs... 46 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:27,007 but most of all, those hot pursuits. 47 00:04:27,044 --> 00:04:30,076 You're going to pee in your pants watching that county mountie... 48 00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:31,667 hump across six states. 49 00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:34,153 I don't think the Sheriff will buy your plan, frankly. 50 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:38,959 Trust me, son. If there's one thing that egomaniac can't refuse... 51 00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:41,147 it's a public challenge. 52 00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:45,775 BUFORD:... that I have marched through a wave of crime and criminals... 53 00:04:45,812 --> 00:04:49,137 like crap through a moose. 54 00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:50,602 [Snoring] 55 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:56,949 In the '60s, I chased those pimply-faced, long-haired hippies. 56 00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:58,514 And I caught them. 57 00:04:58,551 --> 00:05:01,242 BUFORD: Then in the '70s, I chased- BIG ENOS: The Bandit! 58 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,994 What about The Bandit? 59 00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:07,577 Yeah, Daddy? What about The Bandit? 60 00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:09,915 Sit down, you tick turd! 61 00:05:12,415 --> 00:05:17,545 I chased that boy for over 3,000 miles. 62 00:05:17,669 --> 00:05:19,874 Through 20 states. 63 00:05:19,962 --> 00:05:23,461 - But you didn't catch him. - So I didn't catch him. 64 00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:27,171 What the hell difference does it make? But I'll bet- 65 00:05:27,259 --> 00:05:29,292 - Okay. - Okay, what? 66 00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:32,173 - Okay, let's bet. - What are you talking about? 67 00:05:32,305 --> 00:05:36,550 What we're talking about is a simple contest, a little race. 68 00:05:36,641 --> 00:05:38,680 And if you win, Sheriff... 69 00:05:38,767 --> 00:05:44,760 we Enoses are going to pony up $250,000. 70 00:05:44,814 --> 00:05:49,107 If you lose, you fork over that silly symbol... 71 00:05:49,192 --> 00:05:53,216 you've been shoving in people's faces all these years. 72 00:05:53,362 --> 00:05:55,837 Your badge. 73 00:05:56,781 --> 00:06:02,785 This badge means more to me than anything else in the world. 74 00:06:02,822 --> 00:06:06,072 And I'd like nothing more than anything else in the world... 75 00:06:06,109 --> 00:06:07,744 to run you into the ground. 76 00:06:07,831 --> 00:06:10,984 You and that excuse for a son, 77 00:06:10,985 --> 00:06:14,298 who looks just like a flea's pecker. 78 00:06:15,712 --> 00:06:19,181 However, I'm going to retire. 79 00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:23,226 I'm going down to Florida and sit in the sun with my son. 80 00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:27,251 Remember, we're talking about an awful lot of money here. 81 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:30,741 So if you change your mind, you know where to reach us. 82 00:06:30,777 --> 00:06:33,640 Thanks, but no thanks. 83 00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:37,590 And now, ladies and gentlemen, at this very moment... 84 00:06:37,626 --> 00:06:43,407 I proclaim myself retired. 85 00:06:47,819 --> 00:06:49,277 [Person mimicking fart] 86 00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:53,112 [Applause dying down] 87 00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,527 [Drum roll] 88 00:07:01,912 --> 00:07:03,125 [Pleasant country song] 89 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:06,911 Buford T. Justice Fearless law of Texas 90 00:07:06,999 --> 00:07:09,999 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 91 00:07:10,752 --> 00:07:14,619 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 92 00:07:14,714 --> 00:07:18,728 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 93 00:07:21,302 --> 00:07:25,064 Some say you're a lunatic Some say you're a buffoon 94 00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:28,594 Some say you're a fooI with a gun 95 00:07:28,953 --> 00:07:32,890 Though you stuck to him like glue 96 00:07:32,926 --> 00:07:37,490 Now who'd have thought you'd walk away before the job was done 97 00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:45,109 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 98 00:07:45,444 --> 00:07:49,192 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 99 00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:53,787 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 100 00:07:58,621 --> 00:08:02,811 You're a hero to your ego a legend in your own mind 101 00:08:02,847 --> 00:08:06,145 To serve and protect has been your word 102 00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:10,331 But can you stand to sit it out when pride is on the line 103 00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:14,647 And "What about The Bandit?" was the last thing that you heard 104 00:08:14,967 --> 00:08:18,796 You're Buford T. Justice Fearless law of Texas 105 00:08:18,885 --> 00:08:22,134 Man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 106 00:08:22,889 --> 00:08:26,836 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 107 00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:30,996 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 108 00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:35,473 Just like some old gray race horse, you've been put to graze 109 00:08:35,509 --> 00:08:39,483 They say you're over the hill now and you've seen your better days 110 00:08:39,568 --> 00:08:42,766 Like that old race horse, you still hear that bell 111 00:08:42,802 --> 00:08:47,268 If a hot chase was heaven Now the good life is hell 112 00:09:03,732 --> 00:09:07,710 Well, you took on all those outlaws and the weirdoes with the hair 113 00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:11,183 You stood for law and order all the way 114 00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:15,439 Now, you're standing on your records But does anybody care 115 00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:19,889 You're still known as the boob who let the big one get away 116 00:09:20,223 --> 00:09:24,089 'Cause you're Buford T. Justice, Fearless law of Texas 117 00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:27,350 The man who chased The Bandit coast to coast 118 00:09:28,104 --> 00:09:31,803 Buford T. Justice Now you've up and left us 119 00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:35,807 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 120 00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:40,268 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 121 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:45,611 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 122 00:09:50,411 --> 00:09:52,284 [Screaming] 123 00:09:54,081 --> 00:09:58,030 Junior, retirement is cat shit. 124 00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,853 Let's get the Enoses. 125 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:03,168 [Marching band music playing] 126 00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:09,832 JUNIOR: Oh, look, Daddy! 127 00:10:09,925 --> 00:10:11,965 The June Taylor Dancers. 128 00:10:16,723 --> 00:10:19,179 [Marching band music continues playing] 129 00:10:21,976 --> 00:10:26,286 - There's our turkey. - Let's go stuff him! 130 00:10:28,899 --> 00:10:32,183 Daddy, they're taking our picture. Wet your lips. 131 00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,226 Shut up, shit. 132 00:10:34,319 --> 00:10:36,395 Well, welcome, Sheriff. 133 00:10:36,821 --> 00:10:38,944 What the hell's going on? 134 00:10:39,281 --> 00:10:43,580 These are a few of Daddy's closest friends. Just came to see you off. 135 00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:47,366 Let's cut the crap and get down to the nitty-gritty. 136 00:10:47,403 --> 00:10:49,642 Well, you're a sporting man, Sheriff. 137 00:10:49,678 --> 00:10:51,992 We're going to bet you $250,000... 138 00:10:52,081 --> 00:10:53,909 against your tin star... 139 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,626 that you can't drive from here in Miami... 140 00:10:56,627 --> 00:10:59,462 to the Enos Ranch just outside of Austin, Texas... 141 00:10:59,546 --> 00:11:02,079 by 5:30 tomorrow afternoon. 142 00:11:02,131 --> 00:11:05,968 That's only 1,400 miles. What's the catch? 143 00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:07,736 There's the catch. 144 00:11:07,773 --> 00:11:12,529 JUNIOR: Look at that big ugly fish, Daddy. BUFORD: Looks like your mama. 145 00:11:14,598 --> 00:11:17,077 Smells like your mama, too. 146 00:11:17,114 --> 00:11:19,465 That's our advertising campaign. Get it? 147 00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:20,347 Fish and chips. 148 00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:24,219 We're opening up fast-food franchises all over the South. 149 00:11:25,148 --> 00:11:27,644 BUFORD: Get that off the top of my car! 150 00:11:27,681 --> 00:11:31,031 A little respect, Sheriff. That's our logo. 151 00:11:31,235 --> 00:11:33,438 Daddy, what's a logo? 152 00:11:33,445 --> 00:11:35,237 Something like a flounder. 153 00:11:35,406 --> 00:11:38,940 That's in the great tradition of American advertising. 154 00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:42,498 And you got to carry it. Otherwise, no bet. 155 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,933 I get it. 156 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:48,565 You're trying to humiliate me so I won't take the bet. 157 00:11:49,124 --> 00:11:51,162 BUFORD: Get in the car, Junior. 158 00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:54,411 Now then, Sheriff, be careful with the badge. 159 00:11:54,503 --> 00:11:58,392 It's going to make a beautiful belt buckle for me. 160 00:11:58,429 --> 00:12:00,254 If you get my badge... 161 00:12:00,342 --> 00:12:05,514 it's going to be a seven-pointed suppository. 162 00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,870 He fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. 163 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,340 [Marching band music playing] 164 00:12:23,190 --> 00:12:26,357 JUNIOR: Be careful, Daddy! BUFORD: Don't worry, Junior. 165 00:12:26,444 --> 00:12:31,094 BUFORD: I know a shortcut. We'll be out of here in no time. 166 00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:33,989 JUNIOR: Daddy, we've been driving around for two-and-a-half hours... 167 00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:37,031 and we're still in downtown Miami. 168 00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:41,770 I'm as confused as a baby raccoon. 169 00:12:41,807 --> 00:12:43,967 I don't know where the hell we are. 170 00:12:44,003 --> 00:12:48,192 - It's right here on the map. - Get that damn thing out of my face! 171 00:12:48,228 --> 00:12:49,725 I was only trying to help. 172 00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:52,627 You want to help? Jump out the window. 173 00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:55,147 JUNIOR: Turn left here, Daddy. 174 00:12:57,174 --> 00:12:59,195 Look at all these people, Daddy. 175 00:12:59,232 --> 00:13:02,098 BUFORD: Junior, what you got us into now? 176 00:13:02,135 --> 00:13:05,359 Come on, get out the way! We're in a hurry! 177 00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:10,299 I think we've crossed the border. 178 00:13:10,393 --> 00:13:13,879 Hey, you want to buy some food for your fish? 179 00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:16,852 BUFORD: Up yours and that fish. 180 00:13:18,023 --> 00:13:19,268 [Man speaking in Spanish] 181 00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:22,226 Get the hell out of here. I know what time it is. 182 00:13:23,756 --> 00:13:26,571 Get back! 183 00:13:26,608 --> 00:13:30,387 You'd think they never saw a car with a big fish on top. 184 00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:33,595 Ladies, nice ladies. 185 00:13:35,494 --> 00:13:37,673 Could you possibly tell me... 186 00:13:37,709 --> 00:13:40,279 how to get to the Florida Turnpike? 187 00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,829 [Women speaking in Spanish] 188 00:13:50,548 --> 00:13:54,592 Thank you, nice ladies. Thank you, you've been very helpful. 189 00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:56,253 You dirty old... 190 00:13:56,342 --> 00:13:58,356 JUNIOR: I think she said turn left. 191 00:13:58,393 --> 00:14:00,844 BUFORD: I know she said turn left! 192 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:05,963 I understand the German language enough to understand what she told me! 193 00:14:09,978 --> 00:14:13,586 I guess that bought us about a two-and-a-half minute delay. 194 00:14:13,623 --> 00:14:17,637 This is going to be the most fun we ever had with our pants on. 195 00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:19,631 [Speaking in Spanish] 196 00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:30,267 BIG ENOS: Did you remember to take care of the gas tank? 197 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,630 LITTLE ENOS: Do bears defecate rurally? 198 00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:38,117 [Car engine stalling] 199 00:14:43,878 --> 00:14:45,870 - What's the matter, Daddy? - Gas! 200 00:14:46,171 --> 00:14:48,163 Must be that pizza you had for lunch. 201 00:14:48,256 --> 00:14:51,672 Not my belly, the tank! Didn't you fill it up? 202 00:14:51,801 --> 00:14:55,749 - Well, I thought- - You thought? What the hell did you use? 203 00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:59,550 - It has to be pushed! - We can do that easy, Daddy. 204 00:14:59,587 --> 00:15:03,125 What is that "we" crap? You know I got a double hernia. 205 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:04,904 You push, I'll steer. 206 00:15:04,941 --> 00:15:07,979 Oh, thank you, Daddy. I knew you'd help me. 207 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:15,438 He's dumb... 208 00:15:15,526 --> 00:15:17,740 but a loveable shit. 209 00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:21,435 [Lively country instrumental music] 210 00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:36,746 [Car horn honking] 211 00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:40,915 Delays like this are going to kill us. 212 00:15:41,004 --> 00:15:45,310 Stopping off for gas, getting caught in traffic jams. 213 00:15:45,347 --> 00:15:48,157 Everything's against us. 214 00:15:50,094 --> 00:15:52,549 JUNIOR: Look out for that car, Daddy! 215 00:15:56,432 --> 00:15:59,509 BUFORD: Where's that fool going? 216 00:16:00,101 --> 00:16:02,227 Daddy, he came awful close. 217 00:16:02,264 --> 00:16:05,857 You should never give a dummy like that a license. 218 00:16:06,522 --> 00:16:08,395 [Car horn honking] 219 00:16:08,482 --> 00:16:13,942 BUFORD: Tell that road-hog Rembrandt I'm coming around, and to look out! 220 00:16:15,404 --> 00:16:18,522 Hey, road-hog Rembrandt, look- 221 00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:21,528 Out. 222 00:16:23,369 --> 00:16:26,040 We cost them some time there, son. 223 00:16:26,077 --> 00:16:31,040 I wonder how Junior likes life in the dumb lane. 224 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:35,011 Daddy, my face is all white. 225 00:16:35,048 --> 00:16:39,205 Well, put a little lipstick on, I'll drop you off at a gay bar. 226 00:16:40,923 --> 00:16:42,796 [Tyres screeching] 227 00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:45,323 What are we stopping for? 228 00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:50,353 It's time to take out some insurance, teach those county mounties a lesson. 229 00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:53,765 I don't get it. I mean, they certainly lost enough time as it is. 230 00:16:53,802 --> 00:16:55,424 We're winning, ain't we? 231 00:16:55,460 --> 00:16:58,994 We're winning, son, but winning isn't everything. 232 00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:02,315 - What is? - Winning dirty, boy. 233 00:17:02,352 --> 00:17:03,438 What's the matter with you? 234 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,481 Sorry, Daddy. I lost my head. 235 00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:10,647 BIG ENOS: Shame, Little Enos. LITTLE ENOS: Ashamed, Daddy. 236 00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:13,204 Look, Daddy, here they come. 237 00:17:14,073 --> 00:17:16,934 BIG ENOS: They're coming, all right. 238 00:17:17,115 --> 00:17:19,653 [Big Enos whistling] 239 00:17:26,622 --> 00:17:28,994 They put up a roadblock, Daddy. 240 00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:32,079 LITTLE ENOS: Daddy. They aren't going to stop! 241 00:17:32,169 --> 00:17:36,427 Hold on tight. This might be a little bumpy. 242 00:17:59,855 --> 00:18:02,476 LITTLE ENOS: This was a brilliant idea. 243 00:18:02,566 --> 00:18:06,590 Don't worry, Son. I've got something up my sleeve. 244 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,369 I hope it's a chocolate chip cookie, Daddy. 245 00:18:09,405 --> 00:18:13,611 You can dunk my doughnuts if it ain't a great idea. 246 00:18:13,616 --> 00:18:15,359 [Engine cranking] 247 00:18:15,451 --> 00:18:17,906 It seems to be flooded. 248 00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:20,189 No shit. 249 00:18:21,747 --> 00:18:27,035 BUFORD: Buckle up, Junior, we're going to make a lot of time now! 250 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,078 [Lively country instrumental music] 251 00:18:29,169 --> 00:18:31,003 BIG ENOS: This is it, son. 252 00:18:31,039 --> 00:18:34,434 BIG ENOS: I thought from the start this was a one-man job. 253 00:18:34,471 --> 00:18:38,224 There's only one man I know that's never let us down. 254 00:18:38,260 --> 00:18:41,253 Homogenise my hostility! Would you be speaking of- 255 00:18:41,345 --> 00:18:44,417 BIG ENOS: No, I'm not talking about that egomaniac. 256 00:18:44,453 --> 00:18:47,146 I'm talking about the only one we can really trust: 257 00:18:47,182 --> 00:18:48,282 The Snowman. 258 00:18:48,318 --> 00:18:50,507 Now get me that phone. 259 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:54,313 That isn't the phone. 260 00:19:03,945 --> 00:19:06,852 Fred, you don't know what it means having you here. 261 00:19:06,889 --> 00:19:12,128 You're the ugliest. Look at your eyes. Your eyes sag, your ears. Look at that. 262 00:19:12,165 --> 00:19:15,410 CLEDUS: Eight yards long. Your lips... And your breath's bad. 263 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:18,217 The next time I buy them deodorising dog biscuits... 264 00:19:18,253 --> 00:19:19,409 you're going to eat them! 265 00:19:19,415 --> 00:19:20,529 [Car phone ringing] 266 00:19:20,624 --> 00:19:22,152 Hang on. 267 00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:26,751 Mule Barn, you got The Snowman. How about- 268 00:19:27,002 --> 00:19:31,463 Look, lover boy, I've got $250,000... 269 00:19:31,548 --> 00:19:34,228 with your name on it if you help us out. 270 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:38,550 Two hundred and fifty... 271 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:44,435 You mean, I don't have to drive the truck or haul nothing but my ass? 272 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,212 I'm going to be The Bandit. 273 00:19:46,248 --> 00:19:49,815 Do I get to wear the hat? The shirt? 274 00:19:50,604 --> 00:19:52,538 And drive the car! 275 00:19:53,899 --> 00:19:55,216 CLEDUS: Now, listen! 276 00:19:55,253 --> 00:19:58,130 I think you just got yourself a Bandit. Bye! 277 00:19:58,166 --> 00:20:00,818 I'm going to be The Bandit! I love it! The Bandit. 278 00:20:00,903 --> 00:20:03,738 Wear the hat, drive the car. I love it. Give me the car. 279 00:20:04,990 --> 00:20:07,444 [Classical instrumental music] 280 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,869 INSTRUCTOR: All right, Mrs. Fernbush, let's remember the procedures. 281 00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:15,054 Look both ways before entering the flow of traffic. 282 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,305 Politeness pays, but look both ways. 283 00:20:18,341 --> 00:20:22,846 Give her a little gas, and let up lightly on the clutch. 284 00:20:25,046 --> 00:20:27,418 [Cheerful country instrumental music] 285 00:20:40,015 --> 00:20:41,425 JUNIOR: Turn right! 286 00:20:51,315 --> 00:20:53,687 What an asshole! 287 00:20:53,776 --> 00:20:54,807 [Fast-paced country song] 288 00:20:54,902 --> 00:20:58,026 Hold on, Dixie Bandit's on the road again 289 00:20:58,445 --> 00:20:59,855 Look out! 290 00:21:02,991 --> 00:21:06,074 I'm going to be The Bandit. I'm going to... 291 00:21:07,494 --> 00:21:08,951 CLEDUS: Oh, Fred? 292 00:21:09,037 --> 00:21:12,699 CLEDUS: I mashed your doghouse, son, but don't worry. I'll buy you... 293 00:21:12,735 --> 00:21:15,560 CLEDUS: Fred, I'll buy you a whole condominium. 294 00:21:15,597 --> 00:21:19,453 CLEDUS: Listen, with the money we... Come here, you. 295 00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:24,333 CLEDUS: Now go find your fireplug. I'm going to go put on my Bandit clothes. 296 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:28,425 CLEDUS: I'm going to be The Bandit. I'm going to be The Bandit! I love it! 297 00:21:28,461 --> 00:21:31,087 [Lively instrumental music] 298 00:21:42,644 --> 00:21:44,637 [Klansmen laughing and whooping] 299 00:21:44,730 --> 00:21:47,336 KLANSMAN: Come on, get after him! Hey, bubba! 300 00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,917 MAN: This ain't good, man. This ain't good at all. 301 00:21:49,954 --> 00:21:53,295 I'm not scared of these crackers. I'm black and I'm proud. 302 00:21:53,331 --> 00:21:56,527 Three hundred years of experience tells me... 303 00:21:56,614 --> 00:21:59,767 that you aren't being nothing but black and loud. 304 00:22:04,703 --> 00:22:08,755 - You better pull over. - I ain't pulling over for nobody. 305 00:22:10,707 --> 00:22:13,162 [Lively instrumental music continues] 306 00:22:57,367 --> 00:22:59,443 [Car horn honking] 307 00:23:00,994 --> 00:23:03,348 JUNIOR: We're not making very good time, Daddy. 308 00:23:03,364 --> 00:23:08,013 Well, as soon as I get around Col. Sanders, all that'll change. 309 00:23:16,131 --> 00:23:20,040 What the hell are those Klan clowns doing here? 310 00:23:20,091 --> 00:23:22,130 [Tyres screeching] 311 00:23:25,096 --> 00:23:27,716 [Fast-paced instrumental music] 312 00:23:37,855 --> 00:23:41,181 BUFORD: Here's how you handle the Klan, Junior. 313 00:23:46,611 --> 00:23:48,734 [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] 314 00:23:58,746 --> 00:23:59,721 [Chickens clucking] 315 00:23:59,809 --> 00:24:01,962 MAN: Get out of here, boy! 316 00:24:02,206 --> 00:24:04,114 [Men laughing] 317 00:24:06,439 --> 00:24:11,350 Lord have mercy! I must have died and gone to heaven! 318 00:24:12,630 --> 00:24:15,722 MAN: What goes around comes around! 319 00:24:16,008 --> 00:24:18,084 You ever join the Klan, Daddy? 320 00:24:18,177 --> 00:24:22,206 No chance. But your mama did. 321 00:24:22,243 --> 00:24:27,103 When she put on her sheet, she looked like an iceberg with feet. 322 00:24:28,350 --> 00:24:31,764 CLEDUS: The lid is what's going to make the kid. 323 00:24:32,812 --> 00:24:36,358 What do you think, my man? I'm talking bad, Fred. 324 00:24:36,395 --> 00:24:39,640 I mean, you got your Bandit, and then you got... 325 00:24:39,734 --> 00:24:42,462 Pray for that Bandit. How about you, Smokey? 326 00:24:42,486 --> 00:24:44,150 You got them ears on? 327 00:24:46,155 --> 00:24:48,646 Don't look at me like that, Fred. 328 00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:49,820 Fred! 329 00:24:49,909 --> 00:24:53,719 I told you I would love to take you, okay? But I can't take you. 330 00:24:53,755 --> 00:24:56,305 The Bandit didn't have no dog in the car with him! 331 00:24:56,341 --> 00:24:58,494 It just wouldn't look right. 332 00:24:58,582 --> 00:25:00,943 But... Look, Fred. 333 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:03,952 What if you had your opportunity to be Rin Tin Tin? 334 00:25:04,043 --> 00:25:06,126 You wouldn't say no to that, would you? 335 00:25:06,163 --> 00:25:09,004 No, you wouldn't. I get to be The Bandit. 336 00:25:09,089 --> 00:25:11,839 You want me to have that, don't you? Sure, you do. 337 00:25:11,923 --> 00:25:15,198 You're my buddy. Hey, I knew you was going to be lonesome. 338 00:25:15,234 --> 00:25:17,709 I knew I was going to be gone, so I took care of you. 339 00:25:17,804 --> 00:25:20,963 CLEDUS: Now just a minute. Here. Look here what I got for you, Fred. 340 00:25:21,056 --> 00:25:23,819 CLEDUS: I got you somebody I want you to meet, Fred. 341 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:25,675 This is Freda. 342 00:25:29,270 --> 00:25:32,132 There we go. 343 00:25:33,023 --> 00:25:37,084 Freda, Fred. Fred, Freda. 344 00:25:37,121 --> 00:25:40,794 And by the power vested in me, as owner of both of you hounds... 345 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:43,616 I now pronounce you basset and basset. 346 00:25:43,652 --> 00:25:47,276 Fred, that means you don't have to half-ass it. 347 00:25:48,035 --> 00:25:49,493 You get it? 348 00:25:50,036 --> 00:25:53,118 Excuse me. Listen. I've got work to do. 349 00:25:53,204 --> 00:25:55,276 You all have to entertain yourself... 350 00:25:55,313 --> 00:25:58,165 but The Bandit is gonna go smoke some smokies. 351 00:25:59,126 --> 00:26:00,869 [Car engine roaring] 352 00:26:03,086 --> 00:26:04,496 [Tyres screeching] 353 00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:09,747 [Upbeat country instrumental music] 354 00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:18,725 I'll tell you what. You want to see a bandit? 355 00:26:18,762 --> 00:26:22,477 You're looking at a bad bandit. I'm talking bad. 356 00:26:28,522 --> 00:26:32,021 Never should've put me in this thing, brother. 357 00:26:33,275 --> 00:26:34,390 [Upbeat country song] 358 00:26:34,485 --> 00:26:37,469 Hear that roar of thunder 359 00:26:38,279 --> 00:26:41,280 Hear those tyres scream 360 00:26:41,741 --> 00:26:44,406 He's every boy's hero 361 00:26:44,950 --> 00:26:47,429 Every lady's dream 362 00:26:47,745 --> 00:26:50,360 Flying down the highway heading west 363 00:26:50,396 --> 00:26:51,278 They love me. 364 00:26:51,373 --> 00:26:56,029 In a streak of black lightning Called the Bandit Express 365 00:26:56,084 --> 00:27:00,295 Look out, The Bandit's comin' Tyres screamin' engine hummin' 366 00:27:00,331 --> 00:27:02,199 Looks like The Bandit's on the move 367 00:27:02,236 --> 00:27:04,191 Bandit, if you could see me now. They love me. 368 00:27:04,215 --> 00:27:07,624 Look out, The Bandit's comin'.. Get your money and warn the women 369 00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:10,337 Tell those smokeys all to take a rest 370 00:27:10,637 --> 00:27:15,099 'Cause they'll never get the Bandit Express 371 00:27:20,477 --> 00:27:22,221 They never learn. 372 00:27:22,813 --> 00:27:26,310 Look out, The Bandit's comin' Get your money and warn the women 373 00:27:26,398 --> 00:27:29,434 Tell those smokeys all to take a rest 374 00:27:29,471 --> 00:27:33,086 'Cause they'll never get the Bandit Express 375 00:27:33,445 --> 00:27:37,782 Whoa, they'll never get the Bandit Express 376 00:27:43,910 --> 00:27:47,413 Junior, I want to tell you an interesting story. 377 00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:52,550 When the Pilgrim Justices landed on the shores of Texas... 378 00:27:53,335 --> 00:27:56,609 some of the male members of the family... 379 00:27:56,646 --> 00:27:58,953 became lawmen. 380 00:27:59,256 --> 00:28:02,790 All of the lawmen of the Justices... 381 00:28:02,883 --> 00:28:05,146 had sixth sense. 382 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:09,567 - That's too bad. - What's too bad about having sixth sense? 383 00:28:09,659 --> 00:28:12,188 Well, that's not even a dime. 384 00:28:12,683 --> 00:28:15,351 Hi, folks, this is Dusty Trails, speaking to you live... 385 00:28:15,434 --> 00:28:18,994 from Town's Autorama on the corner of Second St. and Washington Blvd. 386 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:21,059 I hope you're enjoying our million-dollar movie... 387 00:28:21,147 --> 00:28:23,864 and you're going to enjoy hearing from Skip. 388 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:25,680 Take it away, Skip! 389 00:28:25,775 --> 00:28:29,048 Thank you, Dusty. Isn't she wonderfuI? 390 00:28:29,070 --> 00:28:32,044 Friends, before I forget, don't you forget... 391 00:28:32,148 --> 00:28:35,047 to come out here on Sunday and bring the kids. 392 00:28:35,490 --> 00:28:38,299 'Cause in addition to the best auto values in town... 393 00:28:38,389 --> 00:28:42,796 we're giving away free oatmeaI cookies baked by Dusty herself. 394 00:28:42,913 --> 00:28:46,162 Hard to believe somebody so pretty can cook too, isn't it, friends? 395 00:28:46,249 --> 00:28:48,593 Let's talk about the special of the week. 396 00:28:48,630 --> 00:28:51,827 It's a '76 Mercury Monarch, fully loaded... 397 00:28:51,961 --> 00:28:53,830 but you don't have to be to buy it. 398 00:28:53,867 --> 00:28:58,207 Yes, this low-mileage honey has got new rubber, factory air... 399 00:28:58,244 --> 00:29:03,873 AMIFM stereo and four brand-new shocks that I personally installed myself. 400 00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:06,678 Dusty, why don't you tell them about your cookies... 401 00:29:06,714 --> 00:29:10,045 while I climb up on the hood and demonstrate? 402 00:29:12,310 --> 00:29:15,642 If you really want to save yourself a lot of money and grief... 403 00:29:15,678 --> 00:29:18,199 stay as far away from this dump as you can. 404 00:29:18,235 --> 00:29:21,272 See that fool jumping up on the hood of that car? 405 00:29:21,442 --> 00:29:24,889 That fool wouldn't know a good deal if someone gave him four aces. 406 00:29:24,925 --> 00:29:29,195 When I moved here, I didn't know a soul, so I answered his ad for a bookkeeper. 407 00:29:29,232 --> 00:29:32,355 Should've been for a football player, considering the passes he made at me. 408 00:29:32,450 --> 00:29:35,318 He told me he loved me, needed me, and was leaving his wife. 409 00:29:35,409 --> 00:29:37,418 The only thing he left was fingerprints. 410 00:29:37,454 --> 00:29:39,674 Hell, he had no intention of divorcing his wife. 411 00:29:39,767 --> 00:29:43,078 The only intention he had was conning you people out of a lot of money. 412 00:29:43,166 --> 00:29:46,035 See that special he's jumping on? It's a special, all right. 413 00:29:46,126 --> 00:29:48,796 Just add three zeroes when you check out the mileage. 414 00:29:48,832 --> 00:29:50,563 It used to be a taxi! 415 00:29:50,599 --> 00:29:55,140 This gal is taking a walk on Skip Town, his lies, and his lemons! 416 00:29:55,383 --> 00:29:59,168 Folks, I'm a little irritated. Pardon me. I hope you enjoy the movie. 417 00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:01,623 But I am leaving. Bye! 418 00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:04,322 Dusty, Skip's going to freak when he hears that. 419 00:30:04,411 --> 00:30:06,131 DUSTY: That's his problem! 420 00:30:06,163 --> 00:30:08,413 DIRECTOR: Good luck, kid! 421 00:30:10,061 --> 00:30:13,731 DUSTY: Hold it! Thank you. 422 00:30:14,814 --> 00:30:16,791 I need a ride. 423 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,773 CLEDUS: I hope you're going that way. 424 00:30:18,859 --> 00:30:21,672 DUSTY: I sure am. Go straight ahead. 425 00:30:24,029 --> 00:30:26,269 Look, do you mind if I change my clothes? 426 00:30:26,363 --> 00:30:28,570 Change your... What? In here? 427 00:30:28,658 --> 00:30:30,854 Oh, sure. No problem for me. 428 00:30:30,890 --> 00:30:33,114 - Now? In the car? - Yeah. 429 00:30:33,203 --> 00:30:36,182 You're not going to look. You're not a peeping Tom, are you? 430 00:30:36,205 --> 00:30:39,786 - I'm not... No! - Then there's no problem. 431 00:30:39,874 --> 00:30:43,368 No, you've got your peepers and you've got your non-peepers. 432 00:30:43,405 --> 00:30:48,306 CLEDUS: I'm definitely a non-peeper. But the car's a little weird. 433 00:30:48,964 --> 00:30:52,770 BUFORD: It's very important that a lawman has sixth sense. 434 00:30:52,806 --> 00:30:55,072 BUFORD: 'Cause then he can anticipate things... 435 00:30:55,109 --> 00:30:57,478 and prevent them from happening. 436 00:30:57,515 --> 00:31:00,320 Even a hound dog has sixth sense. 437 00:31:00,723 --> 00:31:04,310 MAMA TRUCKER: This is Mother Trucker in the Hawaiian Tropic, on a smokey watch. 438 00:31:04,351 --> 00:31:08,512 Hey, is that you, Bandit? Hey, you're looking good. 439 00:31:08,603 --> 00:31:11,604 CLEDUS: This is Bandit One calling. Is that Mama Trucker out there? 440 00:31:11,689 --> 00:31:13,748 Your phone's ringing. 441 00:31:13,899 --> 00:31:15,763 That's a big 10-4, Bandit. 442 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,562 MAMA TRUCKER: We got smokey on our tail and he's moving fast. 443 00:31:18,653 --> 00:31:22,235 MAMA TRUCKER: You better come on in, honey. Your patch is ready, teddy. 444 00:31:22,322 --> 00:31:25,358 CLEDUS: I heard that. If you're ready, just hold it steady. 445 00:31:25,449 --> 00:31:27,847 I'm coming in. 446 00:31:30,453 --> 00:31:33,298 Cledus, what are we doing under here? 447 00:31:33,334 --> 00:31:35,586 Just getting out of the sun. 448 00:31:36,707 --> 00:31:40,608 Look who just drove by. My. Want to go fishing? 449 00:31:40,645 --> 00:31:42,833 - I'm game. - Let's go. 450 00:31:45,340 --> 00:31:47,414 [Upbeat country instrumental music] 451 00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:57,033 If some crime is going to be committed, I know it before they start to commit it. 452 00:31:57,119 --> 00:31:58,974 BUFORD: And I can put a stop to it. 453 00:31:59,011 --> 00:32:01,132 BUFORD: If somebody's going to do something to me... 454 00:32:01,226 --> 00:32:04,752 immediately, I know they're doing something to me. 455 00:32:04,895 --> 00:32:08,543 That is why you got to have a sixth sense. 456 00:32:09,107 --> 00:32:11,618 I'd rather have a dime. 457 00:32:14,819 --> 00:32:17,227 [Upbeat country instrumental music continues] 458 00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,138 Hi, boys! 459 00:32:20,573 --> 00:32:22,255 How do. 460 00:32:22,491 --> 00:32:23,902 Bye, boys! 461 00:32:24,911 --> 00:32:26,654 [Exclaims] 462 00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:30,139 It's The Bandit! Son of a bitch! 463 00:32:30,176 --> 00:32:31,698 And he's got my fish! 464 00:32:31,790 --> 00:32:37,189 As of this instant, Junior, we're in hot pursuit! 465 00:32:37,836 --> 00:32:40,290 [Fast-paced upbeat instrumental music] 466 00:32:47,196 --> 00:32:52,370 Look who we got down here. I guess we better chat with the old boy. 467 00:32:52,406 --> 00:32:56,172 You take this and just have yourself a conversation with Buford T. 468 00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:58,168 - Go ahead. Go. - What do I do? 469 00:32:58,204 --> 00:33:00,892 You just talk in it. Mash that little thing in and talk. 470 00:33:00,978 --> 00:33:03,662 DUSTY: Hello? Mr. Justice? 471 00:33:03,699 --> 00:33:06,294 DUSTY: How you folks doing down there? 472 00:33:06,331 --> 00:33:08,766 We're doing fine, little lady. 473 00:33:08,803 --> 00:33:13,144 And may I advise you that you're consorting with a criminal. 474 00:33:13,237 --> 00:33:16,772 So when he goes to the slammer, you go, too. 475 00:33:16,808 --> 00:33:18,114 Oh, really? 476 00:33:18,199 --> 00:33:22,668 While you're at it, why don't you take a big dump in your hat! 477 00:33:22,704 --> 00:33:24,602 Hold it! Watch that language. 478 00:33:24,639 --> 00:33:29,034 I happen to have my son in the car. Over and out. 479 00:33:29,207 --> 00:33:32,288 - Thank you, Daddy. - Shut up, shit. 480 00:33:33,377 --> 00:33:36,247 [Fast-paced upbeat instrumental music continues] 481 00:33:44,677 --> 00:33:48,291 BIG ENOS: Breaker, breaker, El Bandito, this is Muddy and Sunny. 482 00:33:48,328 --> 00:33:50,171 BIG ENOS: What's your 20? What's your story? 483 00:33:50,306 --> 00:33:52,594 You want to get that call? I'm a little busy. 484 00:33:52,683 --> 00:33:55,581 DUSTY: Yeah. Hello? 485 00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:59,604 Hello, boys! Yeah, this is the Bandit Mobile calling! 486 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,682 DUSTY: The man here says you're going to get your shark before dark! 487 00:34:02,773 --> 00:34:06,174 Long as you don't get funny with the money. - Who's that? 488 00:34:06,193 --> 00:34:09,751 Probably some floozy he picked up by the side of the road. 489 00:34:10,571 --> 00:34:14,409 CLEDUS: Come on, Buford! Bring it on, brother! 490 00:34:19,035 --> 00:34:20,410 [Exclaims in approval] 491 00:34:20,953 --> 00:34:25,098 I sure wouldn't mind a romp in your melon patch. 492 00:34:25,250 --> 00:34:27,206 [Car engines roaring past] 493 00:34:28,168 --> 00:34:30,491 What the hell was that? 494 00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:33,871 Sorry, honey. I'll have to get back to you later. 495 00:34:34,255 --> 00:34:36,497 [Fast-paced instrumental music] 496 00:34:40,260 --> 00:34:42,086 [Police siren blaring] 497 00:34:48,642 --> 00:34:53,421 Excuse me, Sheriff. Why don't you just let me handle this situation here? 498 00:34:53,561 --> 00:34:57,144 Pardon me, young man, but you happen to be talking to... 499 00:34:57,231 --> 00:35:00,035 Sheriff Buford T. Justice... 500 00:35:00,107 --> 00:35:03,143 and I'm about to apprehend The Bandit. 501 00:35:03,235 --> 00:35:07,286 Cledus, you attract more fuzz than a fat man's navel. 502 00:35:07,323 --> 00:35:08,860 [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] 503 00:35:11,365 --> 00:35:14,734 I wouldn't give a rat's ass if you was J. Edgar Hoover... 504 00:35:14,911 --> 00:35:17,152 and he was Machine Gun Kelly. 505 00:35:17,246 --> 00:35:19,036 You're out of your jurisdiction. 506 00:35:19,122 --> 00:35:21,528 I might be out of my jurisdiction... 507 00:35:21,706 --> 00:35:26,359 but you're out of your league. Now back off! 508 00:35:27,420 --> 00:35:32,208 OFFICER: I ain't backing off of nothing, Sheriff. I'm taking charge! 509 00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:35,187 DUSTY: Boy, they're really coming. 510 00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:38,348 I'll tell you what. You just watch. Hang on. 511 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,134 [Upbeat country song] 512 00:35:53,209 --> 00:35:56,058 Am I glad I came along on this trip. 513 00:36:45,518 --> 00:36:48,686 I'm surrounded by lunatics. 514 00:36:50,898 --> 00:36:53,434 [Upbeat country song continues] 515 00:37:00,238 --> 00:37:03,981 Sheriff? You might want to forget about losing me... 516 00:37:04,018 --> 00:37:06,358 'cause I'm here for the duration! 517 00:37:29,093 --> 00:37:30,552 [Officer screaming] 518 00:37:30,844 --> 00:37:32,123 OFFICER: Shit! 519 00:37:52,943 --> 00:37:55,339 Far out! 520 00:37:59,031 --> 00:38:03,421 Bandit? You're in a heap of trouble. 521 00:38:04,785 --> 00:38:06,585 Did you see that, Daddy? 522 00:38:06,621 --> 00:38:11,072 That's what happens when you lock horns with beautiful Buford. 523 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,574 [Lively country instrumental music] 524 00:38:28,595 --> 00:38:32,173 Breaker for that Sandbox Man. How about you, Sandbox Man? 525 00:38:32,209 --> 00:38:35,220 The Bandit's ringing your phone, you copy? 526 00:38:35,349 --> 00:38:37,616 Hey, is that you, Bandit? 527 00:38:37,685 --> 00:38:40,234 Looks like you got Smokey on your tail! 528 00:38:40,270 --> 00:38:44,333 Right you are! He's kicking in my back door! Hello? 529 00:38:44,369 --> 00:38:46,906 Bring him by here! We'll take care of that! 530 00:38:46,943 --> 00:38:50,770 CLEDUS: I heard that. We're bringing it. Bye. 531 00:38:52,612 --> 00:38:55,103 [Lively country instrumental music continues] 532 00:38:56,615 --> 00:38:59,743 - Come on, Buford! - He won't give up, will he? 533 00:39:01,577 --> 00:39:04,281 [Lively country instrumental music continues] 534 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,947 What did I tell you? 535 00:39:18,047 --> 00:39:23,318 You know what happens next, honey? Were gone. Bye, Buford! 536 00:39:32,017 --> 00:39:35,669 Gee, Daddy, this is just like being at the beach. 537 00:39:36,186 --> 00:39:39,531 It's a minor complication. 538 00:39:39,772 --> 00:39:44,812 Nothing's going to stop me from catching that big pile of dragon dump. 539 00:39:44,901 --> 00:39:46,608 And when I do... 540 00:39:46,694 --> 00:39:50,173 I'm going to marinate his walnuts. 541 00:39:50,864 --> 00:39:53,361 Get out and dust off the car. 542 00:39:53,408 --> 00:39:55,482 [Tyres screeching] 543 00:39:56,826 --> 00:39:59,323 I don't want to foul up your plans or anything... 544 00:39:59,411 --> 00:40:02,531 but I didn't get any breakfast this morning and I'm half-starved. 545 00:40:02,623 --> 00:40:06,156 Why don't we pull in up here and get us a pound of ground round... 546 00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:08,206 and put it down our neck. 547 00:40:08,293 --> 00:40:10,079 Sounds good. 548 00:40:15,048 --> 00:40:17,538 [Slow country instrumental music] 549 00:40:31,977 --> 00:40:36,049 CLEDUS: Listen. I think what we have here is a skull orchard. 550 00:40:36,086 --> 00:40:39,480 CLEDUS: Maybe you ought to stay here and let me get the cheeseburgers... 551 00:40:39,566 --> 00:40:42,891 'cause I'm not sure this is a place for ladies. Okay? 552 00:40:45,028 --> 00:40:49,015 DUSTY: Cledus, make those burgers rare. It'll go quicker. 553 00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:58,088 Nice looking set of wheels. How are you doing, my man? 554 00:40:58,413 --> 00:41:01,387 Yeah. Question's too hard, I guess. 555 00:41:01,791 --> 00:41:05,228 Rare, Cledus. Make them real rare, okay? 556 00:41:05,251 --> 00:41:07,788 Rare. She wants it rare? I'm going to get it so rare... 557 00:41:07,878 --> 00:41:10,334 a good vet. could have it on its feet in 15 minutes. 558 00:41:10,423 --> 00:41:12,628 What do you think? 559 00:41:13,842 --> 00:41:16,212 I didn't mean to wake you up. 560 00:41:22,348 --> 00:41:24,925 MAN: So long, cowboy! 561 00:41:32,313 --> 00:41:34,792 Was that with or without onions? 562 00:41:34,829 --> 00:41:36,581 Onions. 563 00:41:36,733 --> 00:41:40,008 With onions. Yeah, with onions. 564 00:41:40,111 --> 00:41:42,684 Be right back. Yes, sir. 565 00:41:43,531 --> 00:41:44,989 [People exclaim] 566 00:41:46,365 --> 00:41:47,907 [Cledus groaning] 567 00:41:48,116 --> 00:41:52,600 We didn't discuss this earlier, but do you want a large, small, or medium drink? 568 00:41:52,636 --> 00:41:55,235 - Extra large. - Extra large. 569 00:41:55,622 --> 00:41:57,481 Be right back. 570 00:41:59,082 --> 00:42:01,206 [Cledus grunting and groaning] 571 00:42:05,712 --> 00:42:08,168 MAN: Go get him, Jimmy! 572 00:42:09,049 --> 00:42:11,835 CLEDUS: Well, I guess we ruined your whole day didn't we? 573 00:42:11,926 --> 00:42:14,843 How about some onion rings, honey? They got- 574 00:42:14,928 --> 00:42:16,387 [Furniture crashing] 575 00:42:19,515 --> 00:42:21,803 See? And you remember- 576 00:42:29,668 --> 00:42:33,772 Let that be a lesson to you. They're sacking them up right now. 577 00:42:34,235 --> 00:42:36,171 MAN 1: Get him! CLEDUS: Thank you, my man. 578 00:42:38,549 --> 00:42:39,684 MAN 2: What an animal! 579 00:42:39,842 --> 00:42:41,191 CLEDUS: See you. 580 00:42:42,741 --> 00:42:45,278 One cheeseburger for the lady. 581 00:42:47,076 --> 00:42:50,529 CLEDUS: Well, all right, my man. Thank you. 582 00:42:51,205 --> 00:42:54,168 DUSTY: Hey, Cledus, you forgot the mustard. 583 00:42:54,374 --> 00:42:58,726 CLEDUS: I forgot the mustard. Women. Sit down. 584 00:42:59,586 --> 00:43:03,900 CLEDUS: Me and you gone, like a big caboose. 585 00:43:03,923 --> 00:43:06,228 CLEDUS: See you! 586 00:43:08,009 --> 00:43:09,289 [Tyres screeching] 587 00:43:15,056 --> 00:43:17,871 Breaker, breaker, Mr. Bandit. 588 00:43:18,016 --> 00:43:20,423 You might as well give up the ghost. 589 00:43:20,643 --> 00:43:25,312 'Cause I'm staying with you like stink on a skunk. 590 00:43:25,377 --> 00:43:27,230 Here he comes. 591 00:43:27,314 --> 00:43:29,306 JUNIOR: We got him now, Daddy. 592 00:43:30,358 --> 00:43:32,517 [Fast-paced country instrumental music] 593 00:43:33,070 --> 00:43:35,275 DUSTY: Watch out for those eggs! 594 00:43:40,867 --> 00:43:43,238 We almost scrambled some eggs back there. 595 00:43:43,327 --> 00:43:46,576 Well, see, I was hoping for a Buford omelette. 596 00:43:48,038 --> 00:43:50,494 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 597 00:43:57,962 --> 00:43:59,408 We lost him. 598 00:43:59,422 --> 00:44:04,042 Talent and pure intelligence will always triumph over ignorance- 599 00:44:04,134 --> 00:44:04,879 [Car horn honking] 600 00:44:05,885 --> 00:44:08,457 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 601 00:44:10,638 --> 00:44:13,269 He may be dumb, but he ain't scared. 602 00:44:19,645 --> 00:44:21,471 MAN: Oh, dang it! 603 00:44:26,109 --> 00:44:27,436 MAN: Not again! 604 00:44:36,449 --> 00:44:40,260 - He's still coming! - I'm going as fast as I can! 605 00:44:42,620 --> 00:44:45,111 JUNIOR: You should've turned right, Daddy. 606 00:44:51,252 --> 00:44:54,759 FLORIST: My flowers! Look what they did to my flowers. 607 00:45:03,302 --> 00:45:06,339 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 608 00:45:22,107 --> 00:45:23,483 [Cledus chuckles] 609 00:45:24,506 --> 00:45:25,724 God! 610 00:45:30,656 --> 00:45:34,444 What the hell are you trying to do, you homicidal idiot? 611 00:45:34,492 --> 00:45:37,113 Back up and get the hell out of here! 612 00:45:37,202 --> 00:45:39,609 It's kind of a tight alley. I'm gonna need some help. 613 00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:42,694 - No problem. I'll direct you. - If you say so. 614 00:45:42,730 --> 00:45:44,906 Okay, back up. 615 00:45:46,667 --> 00:45:49,621 That's it. You're in the clear here. 616 00:45:50,879 --> 00:45:53,505 You're in the clear there. 617 00:45:53,547 --> 00:45:55,920 Keep going. You're in the clear. 618 00:45:58,302 --> 00:45:59,842 BUFORD: Clear on this side. 619 00:45:59,927 --> 00:46:02,464 BUFORD: Clear on that side. Clear on- 620 00:46:02,554 --> 00:46:04,586 JUNIOR: Daddy? BUFORD: Shut up! 621 00:46:05,057 --> 00:46:08,057 BUFORD: Clear on this side. Back it up there. 622 00:46:08,392 --> 00:46:10,722 - But, Daddy! - Shut up, shit! 623 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:13,750 You're all clear now. Whip on out. 624 00:46:18,691 --> 00:46:23,025 Now, do you see, what you did with your "Daddy. " 625 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,154 JUNIOR: But, Daddy, look! 626 00:46:29,156 --> 00:46:32,842 Hold it! 627 00:46:33,369 --> 00:46:35,906 Just what are you trying to do, nice lady? 628 00:46:36,037 --> 00:46:38,920 I'm about to tow this car to the garage. 629 00:46:39,081 --> 00:46:41,460 And may I inquire why? 630 00:46:41,496 --> 00:46:44,411 It's parked illegally and creating a fire hazard. 631 00:46:44,502 --> 00:46:46,827 And it's one big piece of crap. 632 00:46:46,921 --> 00:46:52,305 May I say, madam, that you are talking to Buford T. Justice. 633 00:46:52,342 --> 00:46:55,865 I wouldn't care if you were Sugar Ray Leonard. 634 00:46:56,595 --> 00:46:59,002 COP: Come on, Charlie, let's pull out. 635 00:46:59,096 --> 00:47:01,819 You woman's lib sumbitch. 636 00:47:03,808 --> 00:47:06,133 BUFORD: Get up there and unhook it. 637 00:47:11,981 --> 00:47:15,152 BUFORD: Unhook it! I'm putting it in reverse! 638 00:47:15,191 --> 00:47:18,169 It's too heavy, Daddy. 639 00:47:20,069 --> 00:47:25,505 I can't get any traction. Unhook it. I'm gonna give it all it's got! 640 00:47:31,495 --> 00:47:36,125 - Oh, shit, Charlie! He's getting away. - No, he's not. 641 00:47:36,582 --> 00:47:38,972 COP: Get that sucker off! 642 00:47:39,876 --> 00:47:42,580 [Fast-paced country instrumental music] 643 00:47:46,923 --> 00:47:49,526 JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy! Wait for me! 644 00:47:50,654 --> 00:47:53,504 JUNIOR: I'm right behind you. Don't leave me. 645 00:47:53,761 --> 00:47:55,548 JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy. 646 00:47:58,869 --> 00:48:01,802 JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy. Wait for me, Daddy. 647 00:48:04,269 --> 00:48:06,427 I'm getting dizzy, Daddy. 648 00:48:09,731 --> 00:48:11,348 Wait, Daddy. 649 00:48:11,733 --> 00:48:13,559 [Car horns blaring] 650 00:48:14,610 --> 00:48:17,978 WOMAN: Look! You were going so fast! MAN: I'm sorry. 651 00:48:18,071 --> 00:48:21,182 WOMAN: You came around the corner here, I couldn't get out of the way. 652 00:48:21,198 --> 00:48:24,447 WOMAN: Young man, how old are you? COP: Are you all right, ma'am? 653 00:48:24,534 --> 00:48:26,158 WOMAN: I'm trying to look at my car! 654 00:48:26,243 --> 00:48:28,117 WOMAN: Do you know who my husband is? 655 00:48:28,204 --> 00:48:30,077 JUNIOR: Hold it, Daddy. 656 00:48:30,164 --> 00:48:32,615 JUNIOR: I think I'm falling. 657 00:48:36,877 --> 00:48:39,747 [Fast-paced country instrumental music continues] 658 00:48:52,762 --> 00:48:54,720 [Tyres screeching] 659 00:49:04,188 --> 00:49:08,200 Well, nice lady, it looks like we meet again. 660 00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:11,250 COP: Would you please call a tow truck? 661 00:49:11,527 --> 00:49:15,009 Not if you were Sugar Ray Leonard. 662 00:49:15,404 --> 00:49:19,106 BUFORD: Would you look around in that junk and see if my son's in there? 663 00:49:19,825 --> 00:49:21,401 Here I am, Daddy. 664 00:49:21,492 --> 00:49:24,901 Would you stop playing with your coconuts and get in the car? 665 00:49:24,911 --> 00:49:26,112 Okay. 666 00:49:27,623 --> 00:49:29,282 [Junior crashing on the ground] 667 00:49:39,339 --> 00:49:44,035 ANNOUNCER: Okay, folks, we welcome you all to the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show. 668 00:49:44,072 --> 00:49:46,547 We're readying the wall of fire right now. 669 00:49:46,636 --> 00:49:48,924 There are thrills and chills galore. 670 00:49:49,013 --> 00:49:52,047 And as the wall of fire is getting ready- 671 00:49:52,223 --> 00:49:53,801 [Car horn honking] 672 00:49:54,475 --> 00:49:57,012 ANNOUNCER: The crowd's really getting excited at this point. 673 00:49:57,102 --> 00:49:59,771 I don't blame them one bit. Wait a minute! 674 00:49:59,854 --> 00:50:01,846 I think we've got a surprise visitor. 675 00:50:01,939 --> 00:50:06,185 Yes, we've got The Bandit making a guest appearance here... 676 00:50:06,260 --> 00:50:09,318 at the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show. 677 00:50:10,112 --> 00:50:11,571 [Crowd cheering] 678 00:50:12,071 --> 00:50:14,526 - Where are we, Daddy? - Indianapolis. 679 00:50:14,615 --> 00:50:16,654 How the hell do I know where we are? 680 00:50:25,039 --> 00:50:28,883 - Daddy, I'm scared. - I know. I can smell it. 681 00:50:29,084 --> 00:50:31,871 ANNOUNCER: And right into a couple of demolition cars there. 682 00:50:31,961 --> 00:50:35,334 Buford Justice, coming around behind The Bandit. 683 00:50:36,631 --> 00:50:38,837 [Fast-paced instrumental music] 684 00:50:40,676 --> 00:50:43,604 The nuthouse must be having a picnic! 685 00:50:44,887 --> 00:50:47,425 - Look out, Daddy. - Don't tell me to look out! 686 00:50:47,514 --> 00:50:50,718 - Tell them to look out! - Look out! 687 00:50:50,850 --> 00:50:54,183 ANNOUNCER: Four tough guys out there. 688 00:50:59,022 --> 00:51:00,932 Listen to those people! 689 00:51:01,025 --> 00:51:03,692 They think I did that on purpose. They love me! 690 00:51:03,776 --> 00:51:06,313 Hi there! Hey, you all! 691 00:51:08,446 --> 00:51:11,168 Cledus. We got to go. 692 00:51:11,204 --> 00:51:13,773 - My people! - We gotta go. Bye! 693 00:51:14,304 --> 00:51:16,027 ANNOUNCER: Here we go! 694 00:51:23,457 --> 00:51:25,450 BUFORD: What the hell is happening? 695 00:51:25,542 --> 00:51:28,335 Climb out the window, Junior, and weigh the car down. 696 00:51:28,372 --> 00:51:29,628 JUNIOR: Yes, Daddy. 697 00:51:36,217 --> 00:51:40,130 - There's lots of people out here. - Well, push, Junior, push! 698 00:51:40,220 --> 00:51:41,334 Damn! 699 00:51:41,429 --> 00:51:44,299 I'm trying, Daddy. My foot's stuck. 700 00:51:44,389 --> 00:51:46,714 I'll release it. 701 00:51:47,975 --> 00:51:51,823 BUFORD: You're killing your daddy! 702 00:51:53,022 --> 00:51:55,416 Get back in the damn car! 703 00:51:55,647 --> 00:51:57,372 Yes, Daddy. 704 00:51:57,982 --> 00:52:00,687 ANNOUNCER: They ain't coming down. I think they- 705 00:52:03,070 --> 00:52:05,982 Tell them to get out of my way! I'm coming through! 706 00:52:06,018 --> 00:52:09,566 JUNIOR: He's getting awful close. Straighten out. 707 00:52:10,701 --> 00:52:13,275 Daddy, we're going into a big hole. 708 00:52:13,311 --> 00:52:15,573 BUFORD: Hole, hell! That's a cannon! 709 00:52:27,755 --> 00:52:30,544 What the heck is all this? 710 00:52:30,590 --> 00:52:32,629 Well, the bridge is out. 711 00:52:32,967 --> 00:52:35,354 Well, what do you think The Bandit would do? 712 00:52:35,385 --> 00:52:39,133 He'd just jump it. See, but The Bandit will jump anything. 713 00:52:39,221 --> 00:52:42,222 Get it? But I ain't interested in jumping no river... 714 00:52:42,308 --> 00:52:44,548 I wanna go to sleep. I'm tired. 715 00:52:44,642 --> 00:52:47,666 - I saw a motel right down the road. - Can you find it? 716 00:52:47,702 --> 00:52:50,279 - Sure can. - We are gone. 717 00:52:56,692 --> 00:52:58,650 BIG ENOS: Well, good job! 718 00:52:58,736 --> 00:53:02,569 BIG ENOS: You gotta try and do the same thing when the sheriff gets here. 719 00:53:02,606 --> 00:53:05,196 That won't be hard, on account of Sheriff Justice has only got... 720 00:53:05,282 --> 00:53:07,703 a child's portion of intellect. 721 00:53:07,740 --> 00:53:11,254 BIG ENOS: Come on! This is gonna be a ton of fun, son. 722 00:53:11,290 --> 00:53:13,072 Pleasure doing business with you! 723 00:53:15,623 --> 00:53:18,726 CLEDUS: Okay! Your turn. 724 00:53:20,335 --> 00:53:21,877 [Toilet flushing] 725 00:53:21,961 --> 00:53:23,789 I didn't wash the fish. 726 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:25,753 Left you... 727 00:53:25,964 --> 00:53:27,928 plenty of hot water. 728 00:53:28,007 --> 00:53:30,046 Come on, here. 729 00:53:30,134 --> 00:53:32,880 $250,000 boy! 730 00:53:33,054 --> 00:53:35,045 I'll get you to... 731 00:53:36,430 --> 00:53:38,109 Yeah, okay. 732 00:53:38,146 --> 00:53:40,048 [Shower running] 733 00:53:41,664 --> 00:53:44,301 I'll buy Fred a... 734 00:53:44,853 --> 00:53:49,095 This is a strange thing. 735 00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:57,398 This is... Oh. 736 00:53:57,571 --> 00:53:59,729 CLEDUS: Oh. Well. 737 00:54:00,907 --> 00:54:02,449 [Tyres screeching] 738 00:54:06,995 --> 00:54:10,305 JUNIOR: What is it, Daddy? BUFORD: There's The Bandit's car. 739 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:13,768 BUFORD: He probably checked in to the motel with that broad. 740 00:54:13,770 --> 00:54:15,374 And he's got the fish with him. 741 00:54:15,459 --> 00:54:18,957 Now, when he's fooling around and thinking of other things... 742 00:54:19,045 --> 00:54:23,032 BUFORD: we can snatch the fish. JUNIOR: Thinking of what other things? 743 00:54:23,158 --> 00:54:26,590 BUFORD: You're getting to me. Just play with your crayons. 744 00:54:29,427 --> 00:54:32,796 [Fast-paced rock music playing] 745 00:54:34,182 --> 00:54:38,666 Daddy, we just walked by a penicillin dispenser. 746 00:54:38,767 --> 00:54:44,389 Yeah. I feel like the guest of honour at a crabs convention. 747 00:54:46,731 --> 00:54:49,483 I'm on the floor. 748 00:54:51,277 --> 00:54:53,565 CLEDUS: I'm on the floor. 749 00:54:57,282 --> 00:55:00,894 You be sure to turn out the lights, now, when you come in here, right? 750 00:55:00,930 --> 00:55:03,095 DUSTY: Right. CLEDUS: Yes, ma'am. 751 00:55:06,163 --> 00:55:08,207 CLEDUS: Good night. 752 00:55:12,251 --> 00:55:15,806 What the hell is this, another raid? I paid the Captain two nights ago! 753 00:55:15,900 --> 00:55:17,441 This isn't a raid. 754 00:55:17,525 --> 00:55:22,079 I'm here on official business. I'm going to make an investigation. 755 00:55:22,115 --> 00:55:25,562 Now you just go ahead and read your Gonad Gazette. 756 00:55:28,512 --> 00:55:30,136 DUSTY: And here we are in a motel... 757 00:55:30,222 --> 00:55:32,548 with nothing but a few potted plants between us... 758 00:55:32,641 --> 00:55:35,114 but I know I don't have to worry one bit. 759 00:55:35,151 --> 00:55:37,449 No, Cledus, I know you're the kind of man... 760 00:55:37,486 --> 00:55:38,638 who has the kind of character... 761 00:55:38,728 --> 00:55:41,982 who does not hop into bed with just anybody. 762 00:55:43,816 --> 00:55:46,104 Right, Cledus? 763 00:55:46,276 --> 00:55:47,604 [Cledus snoring] 764 00:55:57,451 --> 00:56:00,028 Oh, no, you don't! 765 00:56:03,997 --> 00:56:06,370 [Suspenseful instrumental music] 766 00:56:18,091 --> 00:56:20,248 [Fast-paced rock music] 767 00:56:28,431 --> 00:56:30,175 - Who's in there, Daddy? - I don't know... 768 00:56:30,267 --> 00:56:32,698 but it's not Jacques Cousteau. 769 00:56:38,481 --> 00:56:42,128 - What's going on? - Some kind of union meeting. 770 00:56:49,864 --> 00:56:52,865 Get away from there before you get a herpes on you. 771 00:56:54,201 --> 00:56:56,952 Daddy. Like you said. 772 00:56:57,620 --> 00:56:59,945 LITTLE ENOS: Make a wish. 773 00:57:00,038 --> 00:57:01,449 Yeah! 774 00:57:01,539 --> 00:57:03,317 Oh, geez! 775 00:57:04,084 --> 00:57:06,123 Oh! 776 00:57:06,461 --> 00:57:07,953 [Men murmuring] 777 00:57:08,545 --> 00:57:10,331 Oh, no boys. 778 00:57:10,368 --> 00:57:13,753 BIG ENOS: Leave my daughter alone! LITTLE ENOS: What's the rubber glove for? 779 00:57:13,841 --> 00:57:16,296 BIG ENOS: You let my daughter alone! 780 00:57:17,926 --> 00:57:22,600 Daddy, there's a fish that looks exactly like our fish! 781 00:57:25,266 --> 00:57:30,267 That is our fish, you moose twit! Grab it! 782 00:57:33,397 --> 00:57:36,017 [Fast-paced rock music continues] 783 00:57:38,192 --> 00:57:42,268 Hey, making it with a fish! 784 00:57:42,304 --> 00:57:44,535 Crazy! 785 00:57:47,616 --> 00:57:51,925 BUFORD: Just like the Bible says, Sodom and Gomorrah. 786 00:57:58,540 --> 00:58:00,240 BUFORD: The Bandit! 787 00:58:00,333 --> 00:58:04,788 We can kill two possums with one rock. Come on. 788 00:58:11,967 --> 00:58:14,292 [Fast-paced rock music continues] 789 00:58:20,056 --> 00:58:23,406 BUFORD: I got you. HOOKER: I got you. 790 00:58:24,226 --> 00:58:27,926 Now, wait a minute, ma'am. What the hell are you doing in there... 791 00:58:28,021 --> 00:58:30,226 all dressed up with a cowboy hat on? 792 00:58:30,314 --> 00:58:34,061 I'm getting all hot and bothered for the evening, darling. 793 00:58:35,567 --> 00:58:37,893 - Come along with me. - You got it! 794 00:58:38,487 --> 00:58:42,533 - Give me the key, Junior. - I left it in the car. 795 00:58:42,864 --> 00:58:47,475 - You left the key in the car? - If I keep it with me, I might lose it. 796 00:58:47,511 --> 00:58:49,717 We gotta stay hooked up for a little while longer. 797 00:58:49,753 --> 00:58:51,569 This is getting- 798 00:58:54,394 --> 00:58:56,580 Good heavens. 799 00:58:58,001 --> 00:58:59,583 We can't get out that way. 800 00:58:59,668 --> 00:59:02,501 There must be some other way out of this joint. 801 00:59:02,546 --> 00:59:04,957 Maybe there's a window in the bathroom. 802 00:59:04,994 --> 00:59:06,362 BUFORD: Let's find out. 803 00:59:08,967 --> 00:59:12,719 HOOKER: Wait will you! My hat! BUFORD: The hell with the hat. 804 00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:16,093 Just perfect. Open up the window a little bit. 805 00:59:18,349 --> 00:59:20,222 [Buford screaming] 806 00:59:20,475 --> 00:59:24,586 BUFORD: You're pulling my arm off! HOOKER: I can't help it, darling! 807 00:59:24,622 --> 00:59:28,718 All right, get on your back. Turn around and get on your back. 808 00:59:28,858 --> 00:59:30,398 BUFORD: That's it. 809 00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:33,677 BUFORD: Now start to wiggle out. 810 00:59:33,943 --> 00:59:36,649 BUFORD: That's it, wiggle. Keep wiggling. 811 00:59:36,738 --> 00:59:40,565 I can't do it unless you come with me, darling. 812 00:59:40,782 --> 00:59:43,309 Will you get out of the way? 813 00:59:48,038 --> 00:59:50,076 BUFORD: I can't- 814 00:59:52,824 --> 00:59:54,776 BUFORD: God! JUNIOR: Mama's not gonna like this. 815 00:59:54,834 --> 00:59:59,762 Junior! Open the window up and give me a push! 816 00:59:59,796 --> 01:00:01,788 [Buford screaming] 817 01:00:06,593 --> 01:00:08,834 All clear, Daddy? 818 01:00:09,011 --> 01:00:11,087 Good. Here comes the fish! 819 01:00:11,346 --> 01:00:12,840 [Buford groans] 820 01:00:17,935 --> 01:00:21,352 JUNIOR: Daddy, I think I should get the key now. 821 01:00:21,389 --> 01:00:23,108 No shit. 822 01:00:23,772 --> 01:00:26,228 BIG ENOS: Come on, we gotta get out of here. 823 01:00:26,316 --> 01:00:28,522 Watch out for that guy with the- 824 01:00:28,610 --> 01:00:30,766 Oh, we gotta get out of this! 825 01:00:30,860 --> 01:00:33,425 I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way we expected. 826 01:00:33,461 --> 01:00:36,025 - Especially you getting the big guy. - Don't talk to me. 827 01:00:36,115 --> 01:00:38,191 - What's the matter? - I'm trying to remember his number. 828 01:00:38,325 --> 01:00:41,780 We got to get out of these dresses and get back to business. 829 01:00:41,816 --> 01:00:45,954 Let's see, was it 555-1414? 830 01:00:46,331 --> 01:00:50,533 BIG ENOS: Okay. LITTLE ENOS: Or 555-4141? 831 01:00:50,916 --> 01:00:52,459 [Pleasant country song] 832 01:00:55,585 --> 01:01:00,255 You're killing your daddy! Get in the damn car! 833 01:01:00,425 --> 01:01:03,963 LITTLE ENOS: 555-1415? 834 01:01:08,514 --> 01:01:12,249 Just slide it in and come in after it. 835 01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:18,180 Take that fish out of my mouth! 836 01:01:19,189 --> 01:01:21,939 Just slide it- God damn it! 837 01:01:22,023 --> 01:01:24,293 Let me have it! 838 01:01:26,319 --> 01:01:28,311 BUFORD: Now close the door. 839 01:01:28,779 --> 01:01:30,059 [Buford screams in pain] 840 01:01:34,533 --> 01:01:36,276 Very nice, Junior. 841 01:01:36,409 --> 01:01:38,236 That was very nice. 842 01:01:38,494 --> 01:01:41,115 You know, when this is all over... 843 01:01:41,412 --> 01:01:44,610 I'm gonna buy you a nice lobotomy. 844 01:01:44,957 --> 01:01:46,071 Thank you, Daddy! 845 01:01:46,875 --> 01:01:49,033 [Pleasant country song continues] 846 01:02:01,365 --> 01:02:05,176 Come on, let's give him a taste of the old Enos devil darts. 847 01:02:06,514 --> 01:02:09,179 These suckers are deadlier than your breath. 848 01:02:09,267 --> 01:02:12,350 BIG ENOS: Here they come. Get ready. 849 01:02:16,147 --> 01:02:17,226 [Tyres screeching] 850 01:02:17,315 --> 01:02:21,305 Done like a true pygmy! 851 01:02:22,943 --> 01:02:26,083 LITTLE ENOS: Great! BIG ENOS: That'll be a 20-minute delay. 852 01:02:26,175 --> 01:02:27,862 LITTLE ENOS: Yeah, at least. 853 01:02:32,741 --> 01:02:34,855 I'm really sorry about that fish, Cledus... 854 01:02:34,892 --> 01:02:37,830 but I had no idea there were fish robbers in the area. 855 01:02:37,867 --> 01:02:41,195 What if The Bandit had lost the fish? What would he do? 856 01:02:41,500 --> 01:02:45,246 - The Bandit would get it back. - That's what we're gonna do. 857 01:02:45,335 --> 01:02:47,042 JUNIOR: It's flat, Daddy. 858 01:02:48,712 --> 01:02:51,521 Flatter than your mama's chest. 859 01:02:55,467 --> 01:02:58,996 - It's flat, too, Daddy. - I know that, you pig bladder! 860 01:02:59,388 --> 01:03:04,803 Well, let's see if we can find a nice citizen with a couple of tyres. 861 01:03:11,021 --> 01:03:14,020 What does that look like down there on top of that car? 862 01:03:14,105 --> 01:03:16,395 DUSTY: Looks like a fish to me. 863 01:03:16,525 --> 01:03:19,901 Told you The Bandit always gets his fish. 864 01:03:20,945 --> 01:03:23,565 [Pleasant country song resumes] 865 01:03:24,197 --> 01:03:27,731 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 866 01:03:29,159 --> 01:03:32,742 Where are you, Justice when we need you the most 867 01:03:35,664 --> 01:03:37,172 Listen. 868 01:03:38,332 --> 01:03:40,788 I'm going to get the fish while Buford's gone. 869 01:03:40,877 --> 01:03:44,706 Now, be ready to get out of here real quick. I'll be right back. 870 01:03:48,506 --> 01:03:50,962 [Cledus laughing] 871 01:03:51,634 --> 01:03:54,468 - What did I tell you? - You got him. 872 01:03:54,552 --> 01:03:56,544 Well, when The Bandit goes fishing... 873 01:03:56,637 --> 01:03:58,258 The Bandit goes fishing. 874 01:03:58,347 --> 01:03:59,720 Put this down in there. 875 01:04:03,101 --> 01:04:05,878 Daddy, our fish is gone! 876 01:04:09,064 --> 01:04:12,681 Well, I guess that yanks my chain. 877 01:04:12,858 --> 01:04:15,412 Junior, it's hopeless. 878 01:04:15,443 --> 01:04:16,771 What do you mean, Daddy? 879 01:04:16,861 --> 01:04:21,381 I can't believe that it all ends like this... 880 01:04:21,572 --> 01:04:24,312 that this is my last hot pursuit... 881 01:04:24,348 --> 01:04:30,296 all on account of a couple of lousy flat tyres and a fish that flew the coop. 882 01:04:30,704 --> 01:04:33,077 Is he gonna be shocked. Listen. 883 01:04:33,165 --> 01:04:36,457 I'm saying that it's time to pee on the fire... 884 01:04:36,561 --> 01:04:40,147 call in the dogs, turn off my siren... 885 01:04:40,337 --> 01:04:42,329 switch off my lights... 886 01:04:42,797 --> 01:04:46,486 and return to my old rocking chair. 887 01:04:46,523 --> 01:04:49,170 Daddy, you mean I won't be... 888 01:04:49,260 --> 01:04:52,296 your little tick turd anymore? 889 01:04:52,554 --> 01:04:54,344 [Junior sniffling] 890 01:04:55,847 --> 01:04:59,954 Son, you'll always be my tick turd. 891 01:05:01,686 --> 01:05:04,091 CLEDUS: Do you believe that? 892 01:05:07,148 --> 01:05:09,322 I love you, Daddy... 893 01:05:09,566 --> 01:05:12,732 even if you can't catch the bad guys anymore... 894 01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:17,368 even if you're a total failure and the laughingstock of Texas... 895 01:05:17,404 --> 01:05:21,609 even if Little Enos is gonna get your badge. I don't care. I still- 896 01:05:21,700 --> 01:05:24,466 Shut up, you barrel of monkey nuts! 897 01:05:24,535 --> 01:05:29,402 Nobody gets the badge of Sheriff Buford T. Justice! 898 01:05:30,249 --> 01:05:31,873 [Cheerful country instrumental music] 899 01:05:31,958 --> 01:05:35,561 - Hi, babycakes! - The return of Frankenstein. 900 01:05:35,597 --> 01:05:37,907 JUNIOR: Daddy, it's The Bandit! 901 01:05:42,966 --> 01:05:44,377 BUFORD: Get in the car, Junior. 902 01:05:44,467 --> 01:05:47,918 I don't need any tyres to catch that box of manure! 903 01:05:48,011 --> 01:05:50,678 But, Bu, what about me? 904 01:05:50,889 --> 01:05:55,207 I'm interested in pursuit, not party time. 905 01:06:00,312 --> 01:06:03,265 [Fast-paced country instrumental music] 906 01:06:13,489 --> 01:06:18,067 HOOKER: Bu Baby! BUFORD: I told you, you flying flamingo... 907 01:06:18,158 --> 01:06:20,280 my name is not Bu Baby! 908 01:06:20,368 --> 01:06:22,990 - It's Buford T- - Shut up! 909 01:06:23,079 --> 01:06:26,114 BUFORD: I got a felon in front of me, a fool in the family... 910 01:06:26,206 --> 01:06:29,547 and a giant nymphomaniac on the roof. 911 01:06:30,084 --> 01:06:33,798 The burden of it all is dragging my ass. 912 01:06:33,837 --> 01:06:38,823 I love it when you talk dirty, darling! Oh, baby! 913 01:06:42,343 --> 01:06:44,750 COWBOY: Move it, little dogies. 914 01:06:49,598 --> 01:06:53,677 JUNIOR: Daddy, look at all the cattle. What if we hit one? 915 01:06:53,768 --> 01:06:57,147 He gets to be a Big Mac ahead of all the others. 916 01:06:57,458 --> 01:07:00,059 JUNIOR: Are those real cowboys, Daddy? 917 01:07:01,899 --> 01:07:04,535 JUNIOR: Look out for the baby cow, Daddy. 918 01:07:05,277 --> 01:07:07,315 [Slow country instrumental music] 919 01:07:12,949 --> 01:07:17,566 BIG ENOS: We gave them a bum steer. LITTLE ENOS: There's only two hours left. 920 01:07:17,603 --> 01:07:19,781 BIG ENOS: Come on, we got to get to the ranch. 921 01:07:19,912 --> 01:07:22,284 DUSTY: Boy, we're lost now. CLEDUS: We're not lost! 922 01:07:22,706 --> 01:07:24,864 Well, where are we going? 923 01:07:26,083 --> 01:07:29,583 - Down this road. - Oh. Okay. 924 01:07:37,842 --> 01:07:40,048 [Upbeat country instrumental music] 925 01:07:45,557 --> 01:07:48,439 Cledus, looks like "down this road" was a dead end. 926 01:07:48,476 --> 01:07:52,422 Not if you can drive a boat, it ain't. Watch this. 927 01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,318 You stay here and watch the evidence. 928 01:08:08,406 --> 01:08:12,585 When I grab his ass, it's gonna be the gravy on my grits. 929 01:08:13,661 --> 01:08:15,617 JUNIOR: Oops! I'm sorry, ma'am. 930 01:08:15,704 --> 01:08:17,535 BUFORD: Out of my way! 931 01:08:17,954 --> 01:08:20,280 BUFORD: Out of my way! MAN: Hey! 932 01:08:23,001 --> 01:08:27,093 That's what you get for obstructing justice. 933 01:08:28,129 --> 01:08:32,882 - Follow that sumbitch! - Yes, sir. You're the boss. 934 01:08:33,967 --> 01:08:36,719 BUFORD: My groin! 935 01:08:36,845 --> 01:08:39,440 You're grinding my groin! 936 01:08:40,096 --> 01:08:41,471 Bu Baby! 937 01:08:41,639 --> 01:08:43,761 [Heroic instrumental music] 938 01:08:45,059 --> 01:08:46,932 [Adventurous country instrumental music] 939 01:08:47,019 --> 01:08:48,725 HOOKER: My baby! Bu! 940 01:08:50,145 --> 01:08:51,390 HOOKER: Bu! 941 01:08:55,191 --> 01:08:56,836 Come on, Buford! 942 01:08:56,873 --> 01:08:58,439 Turn right! 943 01:09:02,030 --> 01:09:04,223 I got him now! 944 01:09:05,949 --> 01:09:09,150 [Adventurous country instrumental music continues] 945 01:09:11,828 --> 01:09:14,285 Look out! He's a maniac! 946 01:09:19,250 --> 01:09:21,124 Bring it on, brother! 947 01:09:21,460 --> 01:09:24,838 Are you sure you know what the hell you're doing? 948 01:09:24,879 --> 01:09:28,461 BUFORD: Shit! MAN: Sorry about that. 949 01:09:31,259 --> 01:09:32,753 Hi! 950 01:09:34,053 --> 01:09:36,923 - Oh, hi. - We're having a picnic over there... 951 01:09:37,181 --> 01:09:42,440 - and if you'd like, feel free to join us. - I'd sure like to. But I can't. 952 01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:46,349 Oh, well, if you change your mind, just come on over. 953 01:09:46,438 --> 01:09:50,325 See, my daddy said I had to stay right here and keep an eye on... 954 01:09:50,940 --> 01:09:52,269 things. 955 01:09:53,776 --> 01:09:56,349 [Adventurous country instrumental music continues] 956 01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:08,991 Holy shit! 957 01:10:27,009 --> 01:10:30,213 Oh, mama, we gone! 958 01:10:30,511 --> 01:10:33,722 - Nice going, Cledus. - I'm telling you. Here he comes! 959 01:10:38,184 --> 01:10:40,826 - Follow him! - This boat won't do that. 960 01:10:40,863 --> 01:10:45,241 Don't argue with the law! Follow that sumbitch! 961 01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:47,431 Okay, you asked for it. 962 01:10:52,027 --> 01:10:54,399 [Buford screaming] 963 01:11:00,408 --> 01:11:04,605 BUFORD: What is the world coming to? WOMAN: Here, let me help you. 964 01:11:06,871 --> 01:11:09,043 WOMAN: Are you all right? 965 01:11:12,584 --> 01:11:14,602 What's wrong, Sheriff? 966 01:11:14,668 --> 01:11:18,181 I ain't seen anything like that since I was a little baby. 967 01:11:18,218 --> 01:11:21,253 You wanna stay, Sheriff, you'll have to take your clothes off. 968 01:11:21,340 --> 01:11:25,445 I don't even take my clothes off in front of my good wife Wilhelmina. 969 01:11:25,481 --> 01:11:26,796 [Nudists exclaiming] 970 01:11:29,929 --> 01:11:31,876 Give me the good old days... 971 01:11:31,898 --> 01:11:36,514 when a pair of boobs were a couple of dumb guys. 972 01:11:40,645 --> 01:11:44,727 WOMAN: Junior. JUNIOR: Oh, hi. This is a great picnic. 973 01:11:44,764 --> 01:11:48,026 Yeah, but there goes your daddy, and he's mad. 974 01:11:49,403 --> 01:11:51,062 I gotta go. 975 01:11:52,321 --> 01:11:54,112 JUNIOR: My clothes. Thanks. 976 01:11:54,198 --> 01:11:57,944 PILOT: [On radio] CoI. Enos, they're approaching in a westerly direction. 977 01:12:00,577 --> 01:12:03,795 They're coming through. I told you they'd take the short cut. 978 01:12:03,832 --> 01:12:07,823 Daddy, when you plot skulduggery, you plot skulduggery. 979 01:12:07,860 --> 01:12:12,012 Well, my IQ is a little bigger than my hat size, Son. 980 01:12:14,963 --> 01:12:16,956 JUNIOR: Daddy, there's The Bandit! 981 01:12:17,841 --> 01:12:21,504 Now we're gonna close in on that hog butt! 982 01:12:21,592 --> 01:12:24,083 Col. Enos calling Private Enos. 983 01:12:24,119 --> 01:12:27,191 BIG ENOS: Do you read me? GIRL: Yeah, Grandpa. I can hear you. 984 01:12:27,264 --> 01:12:31,046 - All right, are you ready? - Yes, sir, Col. Grandpa, sir! 985 01:12:32,642 --> 01:12:35,567 BIG ENOS: Okay, now get set. 986 01:12:35,770 --> 01:12:38,988 BUFORD: Hold it. 987 01:12:39,815 --> 01:12:42,642 BIG ENOS: Okay, girI, let her rip! 988 01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:45,106 [Explosions] 989 01:12:47,487 --> 01:12:51,905 - Daddy, what's all that noise? - The car's backfiring! 990 01:12:51,907 --> 01:12:55,073 DUSTY: Somebody's shooting off bombs back there. 991 01:12:57,953 --> 01:13:00,395 - It's them Enos boys. - Who are they? 992 01:13:00,432 --> 01:13:03,955 They are the inventors of dirty pool. 993 01:13:03,957 --> 01:13:06,958 [Heroic instrumental music] 994 01:13:11,379 --> 01:13:14,019 BIG ENOS: Get set. Now! 995 01:13:17,384 --> 01:13:19,293 [Big Enos laughing heartily] 996 01:13:30,977 --> 01:13:33,222 Daddy. 997 01:13:33,855 --> 01:13:36,832 Thunderbutt got through. 998 01:13:36,857 --> 01:13:42,139 - What happened, Daddy? - I guess we blew another goddamn tyre! 999 01:13:42,402 --> 01:13:44,441 LITTLE ENOS: Bring us down, girls. 1000 01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:47,207 How could that be? 1001 01:13:48,073 --> 01:13:50,695 [Comical instrumental music] 1002 01:13:51,951 --> 01:13:53,843 BIG ENOS: Man, oh, man! 1003 01:13:53,952 --> 01:13:57,594 LITTLE ENOS: Holy Buddha, those suckers are flying! 1004 01:13:58,081 --> 01:14:00,481 Yeah, Daddy, I'm not bored anymore. 1005 01:14:00,517 --> 01:14:03,735 This is more fun than being snowed in at a cathouse, you know. 1006 01:14:03,772 --> 01:14:08,045 Let's get back to the ranch, Son. I don't wanna miss how this thing turns out. 1007 01:14:09,173 --> 01:14:10,666 [Fast-paced instrumental music] 1008 01:14:10,757 --> 01:14:14,827 Cledus, you're not gonna hit that gate? 1009 01:14:14,863 --> 01:14:16,959 CLEDUS: That gate is gone. 1010 01:14:20,556 --> 01:14:23,011 [Fast-paced instrumental music continues] 1011 01:14:31,648 --> 01:14:34,896 - Oh! - Oh, my aching head. 1012 01:14:37,651 --> 01:14:40,107 Will you get in the car, Junior? 1013 01:14:40,196 --> 01:14:44,499 This is no time for any of your funny high jinks. 1014 01:14:44,615 --> 01:14:49,721 I'm sorry, Daddy. I must've forgotten the seat belt. 1015 01:14:51,704 --> 01:14:53,861 [Upbeat country song] 1016 01:15:04,337 --> 01:15:07,955 Is it my imagination, or are you slowing down? 1017 01:15:08,258 --> 01:15:09,699 Maybe. 1018 01:15:10,176 --> 01:15:12,215 CLEDUS: Let me put it to you this way: 1019 01:15:12,302 --> 01:15:15,255 What good would the Road Runner be without the Coyote? 1020 01:15:15,346 --> 01:15:18,548 What good would the fox be without the hound, right? 1021 01:15:19,057 --> 01:15:22,415 And can you have a bandit if you ain't got a smokey? 1022 01:15:22,451 --> 01:15:25,516 - Not really. - Well, now you do. 1023 01:15:25,552 --> 01:15:27,147 I'm slowing down. 1024 01:15:32,734 --> 01:15:35,370 All right, I got it bumper-to-bumper. 1025 01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:39,357 - Hop up there, Junior, and get the fish. - But, Daddy I'm carrying- 1026 01:15:39,448 --> 01:15:41,671 Hop up there and get the fish. 1027 01:15:41,708 --> 01:15:45,516 - But, Daddy- - Get the fish or I'll barbecue your ass! 1028 01:15:50,414 --> 01:15:52,038 [Upbeat country song continues] 1029 01:15:57,919 --> 01:16:00,041 That's right, Junior. 1030 01:16:01,172 --> 01:16:03,210 Just help yourself, son. 1031 01:16:03,297 --> 01:16:06,073 BUFORD: Come on, Junior! Come on back! 1032 01:16:09,094 --> 01:16:14,214 Junior, you are a brave little tick turd. 1033 01:16:14,251 --> 01:16:15,970 Oh, thank you, Daddy! 1034 01:16:19,185 --> 01:16:20,928 Way to go, Buford! 1035 01:16:36,906 --> 01:16:39,930 DUSTY: Why are you stopping? We better get out of here. 1036 01:16:40,284 --> 01:16:45,574 This show right here is only costing me $250,000. 1037 01:16:45,611 --> 01:16:48,254 Do you mind if I just watch it? 1038 01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:53,909 Well. There's your fish. 1039 01:16:54,001 --> 01:16:56,753 Sheriff, this is hard for me to say... 1040 01:16:56,838 --> 01:16:59,624 but you won it fair and square. Congratulations. 1041 01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,331 Give him the money, son. 1042 01:17:03,302 --> 01:17:05,457 I'd like to kick your ass. 1043 01:17:05,636 --> 01:17:08,922 You can't kick that high, cricket crotch. 1044 01:17:10,014 --> 01:17:12,007 I accept this prize... 1045 01:17:12,433 --> 01:17:17,890 as a token of another one of my landmark achievements. 1046 01:17:17,927 --> 01:17:20,978 Hold the money, Junior. And don't let Mama see it... 1047 01:17:21,106 --> 01:17:24,941 if you don't wanna sing soprano for the rest of your life. 1048 01:17:25,108 --> 01:17:26,566 Now... 1049 01:17:29,737 --> 01:17:32,062 Just that long. 1050 01:17:35,532 --> 01:17:39,233 - Oh! He's coming over here. - I know. I told you. 1051 01:17:39,327 --> 01:17:42,078 - Will you hurry up? Will you please hurry. - It won't crank! 1052 01:17:42,163 --> 01:17:44,404 - What do you mean? - The car won't crank. 1053 01:17:44,497 --> 01:17:47,830 BIG ENOS: Come on, let's get this party started. Let's have a drink! 1054 01:17:47,917 --> 01:17:50,851 We can all exchange clothes. 1055 01:17:52,879 --> 01:17:55,369 Would you get away from me, you shit! 1056 01:17:55,547 --> 01:17:58,315 I'm making this collar single only. 1057 01:17:58,633 --> 01:18:01,004 DUSTY: You're The Bandit. Tell me what we are going to do. 1058 01:18:01,093 --> 01:18:03,715 CLEDUS: I am not The Bandit. The Bandit is The Bandit. 1059 01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:06,887 The only man in the world that thinks I'm- 1060 01:18:07,306 --> 01:18:08,930 Wait a minute. 1061 01:18:09,057 --> 01:18:13,610 Sit back. And don't move a muscle! 1062 01:18:13,686 --> 01:18:15,393 [Suspenseful instrumental music] 1063 01:18:23,151 --> 01:18:24,875 I got you. 1064 01:18:30,615 --> 01:18:35,655 Hello, Buford. Well, you caught me with my pants down. 1065 01:18:35,660 --> 01:18:39,069 - I did? - That's a figure of speech. 1066 01:18:39,163 --> 01:18:42,164 - I got you! - Yeah. 1067 01:18:42,207 --> 01:18:44,329 It's over for the old Bandit. 1068 01:18:44,418 --> 01:18:46,818 BUFORD: Yeah, you're gone. BANDIT: It's gone. 1069 01:18:47,419 --> 01:18:49,126 BANDIT: Buford? BUFORD: Yes, sir. 1070 01:18:50,901 --> 01:18:53,878 I just wanna say one last thing to you before you... 1071 01:18:53,966 --> 01:18:55,294 haul me off in the cuffs. 1072 01:18:55,383 --> 01:18:58,087 - Go right ahead. - There's a kind of a... 1073 01:18:58,177 --> 01:19:01,163 a kindred spirit we have, you know what I mean? 1074 01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:03,524 Yeah. I think I feel the same way. 1075 01:19:03,561 --> 01:19:06,905 No, I mean it's special. I can almost read your thoughts. 1076 01:19:06,941 --> 01:19:08,308 BUFORD: Is that so? BANDIT: Yeah. 1077 01:19:08,392 --> 01:19:11,593 What am I thinking right now? 1078 01:19:11,687 --> 01:19:14,378 You're thinking right now that possibly you... 1079 01:19:14,414 --> 01:19:17,432 No sense sending me off to prison where I'd lose all my friends... 1080 01:19:17,524 --> 01:19:18,604 and everything. I mean... 1081 01:19:18,692 --> 01:19:21,915 you could give me a five-second head start and chase after me- 1082 01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:24,476 Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm a law-and-order man. 1083 01:19:24,572 --> 01:19:27,240 I got you and I'm gonna keep you. 1084 01:19:27,277 --> 01:19:29,822 Yeah, you're right. I was silly to even think that. 1085 01:19:29,859 --> 01:19:31,900 BANDIT: You're too tough for that. BUFORD: That's right. 1086 01:19:31,994 --> 01:19:35,644 BUFORD: I'm upright, straightforward- JUNIOR: [Voiceover] Now that you've... 1087 01:19:35,722 --> 01:19:39,277 finally caught The Bandit, you can really retire. 1088 01:19:39,313 --> 01:19:43,661 We can go back to sunny Florida and you can collect your seashells... 1089 01:19:43,795 --> 01:19:45,502 and you can play shuffleboard. 1090 01:19:45,588 --> 01:19:50,144 And we can even go back and see that big funny whale jump again. 1091 01:19:50,181 --> 01:19:55,537 But most and best of all, Daddy, I'll take you fishing with me. 1092 01:19:56,970 --> 01:20:00,664 - I'll give you a five-minute head start. - Bye-bye! 1093 01:20:00,974 --> 01:20:02,467 [Tyres screeching] 1094 01:20:03,892 --> 01:20:08,168 Junior! 1095 01:20:13,649 --> 01:20:15,760 BUFORD: What the hell are you doing? 1096 01:20:15,797 --> 01:20:19,961 I was trying to stop The Bandit from getting away, Daddy. 1097 01:20:20,905 --> 01:20:25,024 I said it before, and I'll say it again: 1098 01:20:25,074 --> 01:20:29,768 There is no way that you could come from my loins. 1099 01:20:29,911 --> 01:20:34,989 And as soon as we get home, I'm putting a big lump on your mama's head. 1100 01:20:35,166 --> 01:20:38,832 Now get in the car. We're on pursuit alert. 1101 01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:45,378 Well, Cledus, I'll tell you, I gotta hand it to you. You did it. 1102 01:20:45,465 --> 01:20:46,998 - I did it, didn't I? - You did it! 1103 01:20:47,090 --> 01:20:50,049 I did it! Don't know what I did, but I did it. 1104 01:20:50,217 --> 01:20:54,027 DUSTY: Hey, do you mind if I tag along? CLEDUS: What? 1105 01:20:55,847 --> 01:20:58,467 [Comical country instrumental music] 1106 01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:03,433 Where did they go? 1107 01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:05,393 Pumpkin! 1108 01:21:06,063 --> 01:21:09,139 Now, I know you didn't mean to leave me this time. 1109 01:21:09,176 --> 01:21:11,602 Madame Godzilla is back. 1110 01:21:11,692 --> 01:21:13,020 [Car approaching] 1111 01:21:13,568 --> 01:21:16,355 BUFORD: Get the hell out of there! HOOKER: I wanna come, too! 1112 01:21:16,445 --> 01:21:19,281 - There ain't no room! - Oh, yes, there is! 1113 01:21:25,078 --> 01:21:27,411 Wait, Daddy! 1114 01:21:29,934 --> 01:21:32,580 JUNIOR: Don't leave me! 1115 01:21:32,832 --> 01:21:36,015 JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy. 1116 01:21:36,586 --> 01:21:38,411 JUNIOR: Wait for me. 1117 01:21:38,503 --> 01:21:40,412 JUNIOR: Don't leave me, Daddy! 1118 01:21:41,277 --> 01:21:47,502 [Fast-paced country song] ?Subtitles Boris J. 1119 01:21:47,539 --> 01:21:49,168 The outlaw run 1120 01:21:50,930 --> 01:21:52,637 Is an endless one 1121 01:21:54,682 --> 01:21:56,473 It's a hungry night 1122 01:21:58,476 --> 01:22:00,599 Where wrong is right 1123 01:22:02,229 --> 01:22:04,601 And the race is done 1124 01:22:05,815 --> 01:22:07,939 When the race is won 1125 01:22:09,610 --> 01:22:11,602 In the morning sun 1126 01:22:12,403 --> 01:22:14,940 Just look into the light 1127 01:22:16,824 --> 01:22:18,981 And I'm behind you now 1128 01:22:19,909 --> 01:22:22,280 With a ticket for the wind 1129 01:22:24,371 --> 01:22:26,494 I'm behind you now 1130 01:22:27,457 --> 01:22:29,697 Baby, you can never win 1131 01:22:31,876 --> 01:22:34,034 I'm behind you now 1132 01:22:35,004 --> 01:22:37,576 And your days are getting thin 1133 01:22:39,714 --> 01:22:41,838 I'm behind you now 1134 01:22:42,551 --> 01:22:44,922 With a ticket for the wind 1135 01:22:58,688 --> 01:23:00,679 And The Bandit's trying 1136 01:23:02,482 --> 01:23:04,604 There's a borderline 1137 01:23:06,276 --> 01:23:08,150 That's already crossed 1138 01:23:09,987 --> 01:23:12,110 When the game is lost 1139 01:23:13,615 --> 01:23:15,940 And the hunter's luck 1140 01:23:17,327 --> 01:23:18,985 Is a single shot 1141 01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:23,029 When the sun is hot 1142 01:23:23,915 --> 01:23:26,286 And the dice are tossed 1143 01:23:28,418 --> 01:23:30,326 I'm behind you now 1144 01:23:31,628 --> 01:23:33,751 With a ticket for the wind 1145 01:23:35,882 --> 01:23:37,874 I'm behind you now 1146 01:23:39,009 --> 01:23:41,048 And you can never win 1147 01:23:43,179 --> 01:23:45,087 I'm behind you now 1148 01:23:46,514 --> 01:23:49,006 And your days are getting thin 1149 01:23:51,226 --> 01:23:53,135 I'm behind you now 1150 01:23:54,061 --> 01:23:56,267 With a ticket for the wind 1151 01:24:24,835 --> 01:24:26,827 I'm behind you now 1152 01:24:28,004 --> 01:24:30,374 With a ticket for the wind 1153 01:24:31,214 --> 01:24:33,502 Yeah, I'm behind you now 1154 01:24:35,009 --> 01:24:37,380 Oh, and you can never win 1155 01:24:37,381 --> 01:24:42,096 Subtitles Boris J. ~jambrob~ Made with Subtitle Workshop 1156 01:24:42,097 --> 01:24:44,756 MB.08.01.2008 1157 01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:48,055 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player