♪♪ School bell's ringin' ♪♪
♪♪ Well, the sky's the limit ♪♪
♪♪ Better not be too shy to fly ♪♪
♪♪ Some say there's been a few ♪♪
♪♪ That never come down from the high ♪♪
♪♪ Losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Havin' the time of our life ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ South of the borderline ♪
♪♪ Turns the boys into men ♪
♪♪ School's out, but we're learnin' again ♪♪
♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪
Yi-yi-yi.
Ha ha ha.
Eat your heart out, guys.
Hey.
♪♪ Oh, we're breakin' all the rules ♪♪
♪♪ Freedom's all we know ♪♪
♪♪ The law is in our heads ♪
♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪
♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪
♪♪ You'd better turn on back ♪♪
♪♪ Don't make a single hesitation ♪♪
♪♪ Only for the ones who know where it's at ♪♪
♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Havin' the time of our lives ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ South of the borderline ♪
♪♪ Turns the boys into men ♪
♪♪ School's out, but we're learnin' again ♪♪
♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're losing it ♪♪
♪♪ Tonight ♪♪
♪♪ South of the border ♪♪
♪♪ Down Mexico way ♪♪
Dave, 25%!
I'll pay for the gas!
Not a chance.
Aw, Dave, I could make a killing!
Look, you're not going!
The last thing we want is you tagging along.
Come on, Dave, mom won't care.
Big Dave!
Hey, today's the day.
You're going?
Aw, you luck.
Now pay attention, ladies and gentlemen.
This affects you all.
Math team, meet in Mr. Keebler's room
at lunch for a short meeting before the meet.
Please be prompt... Everyone.
This afternoon, watch the student football team
under coach Jack "mad dog" Wallace
make mincemeat out of those Taft Toreadors.
Let's all turn out and support our team.
What do you mean you can't go?
I mean, I can't go.
My parents grounded me.
You mean you told your parents?
Perlman, geez!
That creep Dave.
Hi, Larraine.
Oh! Oh!
Do you believe him?
Give me the money.
I didn't bring the dough.
What do you mean, you didn't bring the dough?
You promised!
Well, since I'm not going...
Perlman!
Dave!
Are we still going?
Of course! We have a plan!
We're sticking to the plan.
The bell goes at 3:00, so do we.
Am I right?
What about your money?
Don't worry. I'll get the money.
Look, will you just lend me the money?
No! Absolutely not.
I'm not in the lending business.
This will be great for your french essay.
Bon soir.
Damn it, wimp. It's only 95 bucks.
My name is Wendell,
and $95 is a lot of money.
I'll advance it if you take me along.
We can't take a kid along!
We're going into the mouth of hell.
You got a review of David Copperfield?
Sure. Business is business.
I go or no dough.
David Copperfield, huh?
One of my old standbys.
I just can't believe it! You!
Carol, what did you expect me to do?
I didn't expect you to go there.
If I can wait, why can't you wait?
What are you going for?
You get action all the time.
Hey, variety...
It's the spice of life.
Besides, I've never seen the donkey.
Donkey?
Yeah, you never want to make the mistake
of going in without your rubber on.
You catch yourself a dose.
If you go in by accident or it breaks,
alls you gotta do is take a little tequila,
pour it on the end of the peckerwood.
The stuff will kill anything.
Wish I could go.
Keep drinking your milk
and someday you'll be able to.
Ha ha ha!
Heads up!
Oh, shit!
What the hell?
Eew!
Bullshit.
He didn't mean anything.
What do you think you're doing?
I'm sorry. Don't push me.
Guys, break it up!
Church! You again!
Listen!
Oh, man.
Detention!
All right, who started this?
He did. He started the whole thing.
Detention.
And then I said... hey!
Well, good luck, Woody.
Wish I were going down there with you.
Going down there a kid,
come back a man, huh?
Right?
Right.
Do it once for me, will you?
♪♪ Hey, little girl in the hot blue sweater ♪♪
♪♪ gee, but I'd like to know you better... ♪♪
hi, Larraine.
Do you hear anything?
Not a thing.
Oww!
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
What are you doing here?
Mr. Wonderful will explain.
Just get in.
Hey, Spider!
Hey, Church, what do you think you're doing?
Hey, Church, get back here!
Hey!
Dale, stop him.
Ok, coach.
All you guys, get him!
Hey, Spider, where are you going?
To the nastiest, raunchiest,
most bitchinest place in the whole world!
Tijuana!
Yay! Yay!
Tijuana!
What's the wimp doing here, huh?
Don't ask.
He's going with us.
What? Are you crazy?
It's the only way he'd lend me the money
for the tuck and roll.
The little loan shark can really turn the screws.
You don't want to go to Tijuana.
What are your parents going to think?
Mom thinks I'm staying with Billy.
Billy's covering my paper route.
Why do you want to go?
Tj's no place for you.
Firecrackers! I can sell them at a 300% markup.
The little capitalist has us by the short hairs.
Us? He's got you, Dave.
Well, it's my car.
Hmm.
Let's get one thing straight, wimp.
We may be stuck with you,
but you won't ruin our trip,
just 'cause you're a brat kid.
We're going to be as crude, filthy,
and gross as we want.
You understand that, wimp?
The name is Wendell,
and why should today be any different?
You got to win her respect
because even a whore likes a man she can respect.
You stay here with the wheels.
Bring me some twinkies.
What makes you think you're so hot?
Shit! They can take their store and cram it.
Hey, baby, what's happening?
Move it, punk.
What's that all about?
Anyway, the way to win her respect...
Is you gotta make her come.
It's the only way to win her respect.
The only way is to Jack off her so you're not too horny.
She is so cheap!
Look, you're acting like a fool.
I don't care if I act like a fool.
I feel like a fool!
It was just a physical thing.
Oh, fine, well,
that makes it all right, doesn't it?
You're making too much out of this.
Too much?
Hey, I thought we had something here.
Me and you, buster!
You're making a mountain out of a molehill!
Why are you walking away from me?
There's work to do!
Fine, fine. Let's not talk about it.
Let's let it ruin our lives.
You don't get married just to work!
What can I tell you?
You could have told her no!
Yes, I know Nancy Harrison.
How about knowing my husband!
Let's get out of here.
Don't sass me! I've got eyes.
I can see what's going on! You...
Look, what are you going to do?
Kath... are you going to go?
Oh, that's good. Just go. Great. Fine.
Just go, Kathy! See if I care!
Kathy!
Don't you dare get in that truck!
Bitchin'.
It's like a dream.
Let's go.
Coke.
Let's go!
Yahoo!
Come on, Dave.
Dave? Jesus Christ.
Let's get some M&Ms.
There you go.
Here. Grab a pretzel, Woody.
We... we better get out of here.
Look, you're not...
I've had enough!
Ok. One more.
Come on, dude.
Ok. Listen. Just act natural.
What am I supposed to do?
I've heard enough!
Hey!
You stole this stuff!
Oh, what gives you that idea?
Please get out of that...
Goodbye, Larry.
Kathy, come back here!
Look out!
Larry, please...
Look out! Turn the...
Oh!
Oh, no!
Wait!
My store!
Go!
What?
Go!
Stop.
What?
Stop.
Where are we going?
We're going to Mexico.
Tijuana?
I'm going to Tijuana
to get a divorce!
A Tijuana divorce! So there!
Move it!
Kathy!
Hey, Kathy! Kathy!
Hey, you guys, come back here!
Where are you going with my wife!
Hey! Hey!
You think I'm kidding about divorcing him.
Damn, yes! I am going to divorce him!
I wouldn't run into all you guys
if it wasn't for the best.
My name is Kathy.
Hi. I'm... Woody.
Uh-huh.
I'm Spider.
Hi.
This is the wimp.
Wendell.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, Wendell.
Clarkman. David clarkman.
Oh.
Do you mind?
This food, where did you get it?
This is our price sticker!
You stole this stuff! Stop the car.
Look, we're sorry. We didn't mean to...
We're from poor families.
We haven't had a decent meal...
You stole it because you're no-good kids.
You're right, lady.
Shut up!
Look, we're really sorry. Honest.
Here. We'll even give it back.
We haven't even opened these, ok?
I don't care!
Rob all you want!
I hate that place. Hate it!
I'm free now.
♪♪ Free ♪♪
Maybe we ought to ditch her.
Are you kidding, man?
I think I can get into her pants.
Dave, you don't want to do that.
Why?
Because she's having a nervous breakdown,
that's why.
So? I got to pee.
Do you believe him?
Fat chance he's got, huh?
That's two cents.
Hey.
Oh! Sorry.
Hmm. Uhh.
Ohh!
My God.
♪♪ I took my troubles down to madame rue ♪♪
♪♪ You know that gypsy with the gold tattoo ♪♪
♪♪ She's got a pad on 34th and vine ♪♪
♪♪ Selling little bottles of ♪♪
♪♪ Love potion number nine ♪
♪♪ I told her that I was a flop with chicks ♪♪
♪♪ I'd been this way since 1956... ♪♪
Hey!
Yay! Whoo! Get a horse!
♪♪ Love potion number nine ♪
They're just waving them through.
No search, nothing.
Nobody cares what you bring into Mexico.
It's coming out you gotta sweat it.
You can buy anything in Tijuana...
Drugs, spanish fly.
You've been there a lot?
Well, never, but we've all heard about it.
Well, there's no such thing as spanish fly.
Oh, yeah?
I heard from first-hand experience.
This guy I know at city college
got a hold of them spanish flies,
and used 'em on his girlfriend
'cause she wasn't putting out for him.
You see, he made a big mistake.
He gave her a whole one
when he should have given her half.
Anyway, he left her alone for a few minutes,
went into a liquor store, came out.
You wouldn't believe what he found.
The girl on the gearshift knob dead.
There. You see? You see?
You know him, don't you?
Same story, Dave.
You shouldn't talk that way
in front of your little brother.
Thanks, but I'm already used to it.
Yuck!
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
Look!
Stop the car. Pull over.
Well, this is as far as I go.
Kathy, after you're through,
why don't we have a drink or something?
That's funny.
Bye, now.
Bye.
I thank you.
Thank you, David. Thank you, all.
Wendell, don't let them get you into any trouble!
She shot you down, Spider.
Old Spider's losing his touch.
First time for everything.
Hola, señora.
How are you this fine day?
Great.
What can I do for you?
I'd like a divorce.
It should be around here someplace.
There's an upholstery shop right there.
That's no good. vaca negro's the best.
Oh, shit.
There's a cop on our tail.
No, no! Don't look back!
What's the big deal, man?
We haven't done anything.
Haven't you heard about the tj cops
and the Tijuana jails?
They throw you in and throw away the key.
Holy shit.
This is just what I need.
Hello, officer.
How you doing?
'57 belair, huh?
Yes, sir.
Pop the hood.
Iandale!
Full house, eh?
Yeah. It's a 301
backed by, uh, dual quads there.
Englebrock manifold, hooker headers,
with electric cutouts...
That's right.
I put a lot of hours in this baby.
What's the E.T.?
15.76.
This would make one hell of a police car.
Did I tell a joke?
Huh? Why did you laugh?
No reason.
Sometimes I just...
I see many expensive cars
cross the border with boys like you driving them.
How does such a boy get the money for such a car?
I work for it.
And you make enough to buy this car?
Well, not exactly.
I mean, my parents loaned me some of the money.
Most of the money.
I see.
Close the hood.
Oh, um, your right brake light is out.
Oh, man, come on.
Did your friend say something?
No, sir...
How much do you want?
What?
Isn't that what this is all about?
Spider!
We ain't got mucho dinero,
so how about 5 bucks and you let us go, huh?
I mention the brake light
because someone might hit you.
True, it is a violation.
He wants more money.
Will you shut up?
Are you doing business with that man there?
I am getting it tuck-and-rolled.
Hey, Chuey.
Si.
Si, jefe.
Ok. As a favor to him,
I'll forget what just happened here.
But your friend should go home
and learn some manners.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
I got this funny feeling.
This feeling that I just might see you again.
Let's hope not.
Do you swear that this information
is the truth, so help you god?
I do.
Fine.
Sign over here, please.
Is that it?
Not quite.
Have this notarized in the united states.
Mail it back to me
with the proper documentation.
The moment I have received it
from our giant, friendly neighbors to the north,
you are a free woman.
May I give you one small piece of advice?
Go home directly.
Do not stay in Tijuana.
Your emotions are too delicate at this moment
for this uncouth place.
Listen, you know what you've got to be careful of?
That they don't stuff your seats with horseshit.
No lie. It happened to a friend of mine.
They dry it so you can't smell it,
but as soon as it gets wet...
Come on.
That's why you're staying here and watching them.
Forget it. I'm here on business.
What? I brought you here against my will.
Help me, or you're taking the bus home.
If you... aah! Which is it?
Stop! Stop!
The bus home?
You nervous?
After all, there's only one first time.
Come on.
I believe these are the colors you wanted?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's going to look sharp.
Come on, Dave. Any time you're ready.
Look, my brother's staying with the car for a while,
but we'll be back to get him, ok?
I understand.
Well?
Let's go. See you, wimp.
Later, wimp.
Come on in, kid.
Where is the center of Tijuana?
Ah. Si. Gracias.
Que nada.
♪♪ south of the border ♪♪
♪♪ Down Mexico way ♪♪
♪♪ That's where I fell in love ♪♪
♪♪ When the stars above began to play ♪♪
Hey, shut up, ok?
Shh. Listen. Listen to that.
Is that music?
Hey, you!
You three gringos!
Come up and see me, huh?
Oh, my god.
I think I love you.
Come on up.
Hey, sailors! I love sailors.
Special rate for two sailors.
Come up and see me.
Where's the stairs?
You don't go with the first one you see.
Yes, I do.
Hey! Don't go away!
Look over there.
See what they've got in there?
Hey, Woody. Woody.
That's what you came to Tijuana for.
Looks good, doesn't she?
Sure you can handle that, big guy?
How you doing?
Hey!
Come to the China Club!
Oriental girls!
They do 100 sexy positions.
And look at this one!
Welcome to the Big Sombrero!
Home of the big hat with the big hole!
M-80s, cherries, cherry bombs.
Two for $1.00.
All right.
Thank you.
Show's starting right away, boys.
Come on...
Oh, amigo, I have to talk with you.
Me?
Yeah. I help you, you help me.
I lose all my money at the jai alai.
I've got to sell my grandfather's watch.
It's an antique. Solid gold.
Genuine Bulova. $10.
$10?
Switchblade!
Bullwhips!
The baddest switchblades in all Tijuana!
Hey, $5.50. Come back! $1.00, hey!
The old Aztec Club.
We got 'em right here...
Best-looking chicks in town, boys.
Looks good to me.
Let me show you what it's all about.
Hey, hey, hey! Step this way,
if you're looking for someplace to meet somebody.
Welcome to La Tunga Lei.
You get it?
We got the filthiest, juiciest girls in Tijuana!
You have my word as a gentleman.
Come on, guys. Let's see what it's like.
I don't know.
He's your friend. A wise decision!
You have my word as a gentleman.
Go right in.
Don't look so bashful, boy.
Here you grow up.
What'd I tell you?
Welcome to the palace of the polynesian pleasure.
This way please, gentlemen.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
let's give a big hand to miss Jacki Paar!
All right, miss Jacki Paar!
All right, ladies and sex maniacs,
we have a rare connubial privilege
for you horny fuckers here.
All right, direct from the Casino de Paree,
the toast of the continent,
miss Ursula Undress!
Hey, let's get out of here.
Would you like some company?
Be our guests.
Sure.
What you drink?
Whiskey.
Three whiskeys. For the gentlemen?
Just beer.
Wait. How much is this going to cost?
$1.00 for beer, $2.00 for whiskey.
Two bucks for whiskey?
Hey, that's just...
Uh, that's a reasonable price.
A very reasonable price.
You are huge.
Well...
We go upstairs later, huh?
What's upstairs?
Oh, you'll like it upstairs.
We have the movies, the bedrooms.
You see?
Told you I had a feeling about this place.
Gracias, señoritas.
You'll have a good picture.
How does this look?
Hey, taxi, lady?
I'll take you wherever you want.
No, thank you.
You just have to hold still and smile.
How's that?
very good. Hold it.
Wait till Fred sees this.
He's going to die.
No! Dammit! Don't touch that!
It's mine!
No! No! No! Get off!
I'm sorry about this.
Andale, andale.
The boys went to do things boys do, huh?
Yes.
You know, americans always leave somebody here.
You know why?
No.
To make sure
we don't stuff the seats with horse manure.
Sir, can you tell me
where I can get cherry bombs and m-80s?
Ernesto...
it's kind of dark in here.
Maybe we should've bought those switchblades.
Keep your wallet hid, ok?
I'll go happy. I'll experiment, man.
Experiment? Like what?
Positions, knucklenose.
I'll yell for you fellas.
Just at the point of climax,
the feeling is twice as...
What's going on?
You have good time. Nice girls up there.
What about you?
Bye-bye.
Nice girls up there.
But we want those girls.
Those girls work in the bar.
You'll like these girls.
Go up there.
Hey, come on.
Come on!
Here he is,
the one, the only-
Groucho! Groucho!
We have a big night tonight...
Don't push me. Jesus.
Now, you choose.
We're getting screwed here,
and we still got our clothes on.
Dibs on the blonde with the big tits.
I don't believe you, Dave.
Sure, with the girls downstairs,
but these?
What's with you, Woody?
Show some hair.
You want to tell everybody you chickened out?
We'll give you first choice.
Just don't choose the one with big tits.
See the woman in black?
She looks pretty good, huh?
Ooh-ooh!
Hello.
Hi.
Hi, there.
Excuse me.
Would you like to, uh...
Si, si.
Go, Woody!
You're wearin make-up?
I thought this was just your innate beauty.
You want to come with me?
Uh...
How are you doing, darling?
Ooh.
Ooh, that's rough.
Rough, huh?
It's great. All these women!
Have you been working here long?
$10?
That's right, little man.
Oh, uh...
Uno momento.
Ok?
Don't go nowhere.
What the hell?
'Scuse us.
Whoo!
La Tunga Lei, the Palace of Polynesian Pleasure
presents the Tijuana blue.
Oh, shit.
Momentito, ok?
I'll be right back.
Just one second.
I can hardly wait.
♪♪ When high school punks come across the border ♪♪
♪♪ Their wallets get thin and their dicks get shorter ♪♪
♪♪ Eh, Bob Reebo ♪♪
$10.
Dave, what are you doing?
I'm negotiating. Why, what's up?
I forgot the rubbers. You got them?
Did you give Woody his?
No. Would you? Second door on the left.
Woody, you forgot your rubbers.
Get out of here!
♪♪ I know a señorita ♪♪
♪♪ Her name's Rosanne ♪♪
♪♪ She uses a tortilla for a diaphragm ♪♪
Come on, baby, take off your clothes.
I mean, uh, don't you, uh...
Shouldn't we turn the light out first?
Ok, baby.
We turn off the lights.
You think I'm pretty?
Yes, ma'am, I...
I think you're very pretty.
$10.
Look, if Frank Sinatra came in here,
you'd do it with him for 4 bucks.
You're not Frankie Sinatra.
Yeah, but is Frankie built like this?
$15.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
I said knock, knock!
Who's there?!
Eisenhower!
Eisenhower who?
♪♪ I's an hour late for the gangbang ♪♪
♪♪ Yes, I am ♪♪
I, uh, forgot my rubber.
Did you remember to bring your dick?
Come on, squirt.
Wait, uh, just a second.
Hey, Woody, here's for your first bang.
Son-of-a-bitch!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Tijuana!
Tijuana who?
♪♪ Tijuana bring your mother to the gangbang? ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, yes, you do ♪♪
♪♪ It's been a long time since she's had a stroke ♪♪
♪♪ When she was younger and in her prime ♪♪
♪♪ She used to gangbang all the time ♪♪
Yee-hah!
You are a virgin.
No, I'm not a virgin.
No, no, no. It's all right.
We are all virgins once...
And only once.
I'm not a virgin.
Really, I'm not a virgin.
You don't have to do this, you know.
You don't hurt my feelings.
Look, I'll pay you.
No, no, no, no, no.
Look, keep your money.
Maybe some other time...
Johnny hot rocks la tunga lei!
Fuck you!
Ok, babe.
Show me them beauties
you've been hiding from big Dave.
Oh, my god.
Listen, I don't want you faking anything.
You don't come, I want to know.
$5.00 extra, I come.
Ok?
Ok.
Hey.
Celebrating, huh?
Yeah.
Give me two of these.
Por favor, señor.
Well, how did it go?
It was great.
Really great.
Really great?
Pretty great.
Great.
Hey, where's your jacket?
I must have left it upstairs.
Get going. Grab it fast,
or you'll never see it again.
Forget it.
Come on, I'll go up there with you.
I said forget it, Spider.
It's only a jacket.
Hey, what's with you?
I don't care about the jacket, that's all.
You didn't do it with her, did you?
Did you?
Maybe I changed my mind.
Maybe you chickened out.
Come this way!
This is the Tunga Lei,
the greatest shows today!
The raunchiest, the sexiest.
Don't be afraid to come inside.
Let's go, man.
You can't take it? Ok.
How you doing, good-looking?
All right.
Listen, amigo,
is there a quiet place to get a drink,
a place a lady can go
and not be bothered?
Sure. Step right inside.
I want a quiet place.
Lady, the Tunga Lei is the quietest place
in all of Tijuana.
You have my word as a gentleman.
Step right in.
Hey, guys...
How's it going?
Sorry I asked.
So...
Who died?
Bartender, another round
and a margarita for me.
Where's Dave and Wendell?
Wendell's on ice at the upholstery,
and Dave's still upstairs.
Upstairs?
Oh, upstairs.
How come you guys aren't with him?
Only one girl?
We've already been.
Ohh.
Well...
Let's drink to... Mission accomplished,
and I've got great news.
In Tijuana, they sell penicillin
over the counter.
What?
Dave is...
He heard it felt good
if you yelled when you climaxed.
Oh, lord.
How did you get all wet?
I fell in a wishing well.
Did you get your wish?
I'm a divorcee.
Well, almost.
Hey, look, I'll drink to that.
Oh, boy. Didn't we decide
that you were a little young for me?
Yeah.
But I always said
you can teach an old dog new tricks, hmm?
Thanks.
That your best line with older women?
Yeah.
Works like a charm.
I can imagine.
Guess your husband's got a better line, huh?
When he's out getting his wick dipped.
Now, Spider...
That's not funny.
No? Truth hurts?
Just not funny.
I guess it is pretty pathetic.
Hey!
You can be pretty insensitive.
Ooh, insensitive?
Knock it off.
What's with you?
I'm tired of listening to it.
She called me insensitive.
Well, maybe she's right.
Are you going to get in her pants
by betraying your best friend?
Bullshit.
Oh, man.
Anyway, after what happened upstairs,
I doubt you could do anything
if you did get into her pants.
You're a real jerk, you know that?
Woody.
Woody, wait a minute.
Let me look at your face.
It's fine.
No, it's not.
Ice will keep the swelling down.
I'll get some.
I'll just tag along.
Woody, I need company.
Do you think it's any easier for me?
After all I've been through today...
Company helps.
You don't have to talk.
I can talk enough for both of us.
Yeah, that's true.
You talk more than anybody I've ever met,
except for Dave.
Thanks, Ernesto.
Is your name Trini?
Yes.
I'd like to do business with you.
200 cherry bombs, 40 torpedoes,
10 packs of 2-inchers, 10 packs strangers,
a dozen ladyfingers, and 4 skyrockets.
You have money for all this?
Yes. And I don't want to bargain.
Deal straight with me,
I'll deal straight with you.
Layed, relayed, and parlayed.
Did you hear me yell?
It really works.
You just have to yell your brains out.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
Well, then?
Take off, will you?
You don't have to be so...
Just take off!
¿¿Que sabor?
No.
No. Gracias.
Ah, un boxeador?
Pugilante.
Para la señorita?
Si.
Gaya caballero.
Amigo, I lost all my money in the Jai Alai.
What are you selling?
Grandfather's watch.
It's an antique.
Solid silver.
Genuine Bulova.
It's not an antique.
It's not solid silver.
It isn't even a Bulova.
I know their trademark.
It's not nice to take advantage of someone naive.
Amigo, wait!
Only the most beautiful women,
each carefully selected
for the beauty of their body
and the depravity of their mind.
Hey, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to watching my car.
Your car's ok.
I came here to buy firecrackers,
so I bought them.
You know what that guy's doing right now?
He's stuffing my seats with horseshit.
No, he's not.
How do you know? That happened to my friend.
You and your friend both come inside.
What?!
This is my little brother, buddy!
Dave!
Come on.
The nerve of that guy!
What's wrong with you?
I got something on my mind.
What?
Sex.
Sex is different with me.
I need it all the time.
I'm going to make her beg.
Her who?
Larraine Lica.
She's shot me down for the last time.
She's going to get on hands and knees and beg.
You know what I'm going to use?
A hydrogen bomb?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Hey, buddy there.
How do I get to see the donkey?
The Blue Fox.
Get in. I'll take you.
Tell me where it is.
Do I look like the office of tourist information?
I only know the way to the Blue Fox if I drive.
Yeah, thanks.
Let me hold this.
Thank you.
It's hard to believe this is the same town.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
Wait there.
Why?
Just sit down!
Hello.
I'd like six of your best spanish flies, please.
No comprende ingles, señor.
What?
No habla ingles.
You no speakie english?
Hmm.
Zzzzzzz.
Fly...
Uh...
Español. Spanish fly.
You understand?
No, sorry, sir.
Zzzzzzz.
Fly!
Espanol. Spanish fly. You understand?
I better do this different.
Señorita...
Ok?
Señorita and a señor.
The señor has zzz español. Spanish fly.
He takes his zzz español
and gives it to the señorita.
The señorita takes zzz español and eats it.
Now the señor waits a few minutes...
And soon the señorita feels real hot.
Just real hot.
She's starting to foam at the mouth.
And this guy waits a few minutes longer,
and takes the señorita and... ehh ehh ehh!
And just fucks her brains loose!
You get it?
Momento, si.
Oh, jeez. Aah!
Run!
First you take a bite of lime.
Ok.
Then you take a swig.
That's it. Not too much.
Now lick a little salt.
Now you know why they call it "to kill ya."
funny part about it...
About what?
Larry.
He could never tell me he loved me.
Or needed me.
You know what he's doing right now?
Nothing.
Nada.
He would never admit to himself,
let alone to anybody else,
that he needed me or wanted me back.
Pathetic.
Let's not talk about him anymore.
You want to dance?
Yeah.
Yes.
Taxi?
No, thanks.
I got what you want.
You got spanish fly?
Spanish fly?
I got the best spanish fly in Tijuana.
How much?
For you? $10 apiece.
6 for $10, and it's a deal.
Ok, ok.
6 for $10. You bargain me down.
Dave, Kathy said there's no such thing.
Shut up, would you?
Do you have a girlfriend?
Not really.
Probably a nice girl
who wants to wait till she's married.
I was one of those girls, too.
You can see what it got me.
My husband... Ex-husband.
Almost ex-husband.
What happened to your jacket?
I left it back there.
Upstairs.
Don't worry about what happened upstairs.
Or didn't happen.
You're like I am, Woody. You need romance.
If you were m...
I mean, if...
If I were your age?
Would you be interested
in dating a guy like me?
Hmm.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You're with the number one man in Tijuana.
I know this town like my own hand.
Seems like you're taking the long way?
Only one place for the best spanish fly.
If you want something less powerful...
No, we want the best, the most powerfulest.
This is the most best.
But you have to be careful.
A friend gave one to his girl.
A whole one. He leave her in the car.
When he come back, she's stuck on the gearshift.
Listen, if you want some other thing,
maybe some good marijuana...
Marijuana?
I know all about that stuff.
It's bad news.
Si. It's bad for you.
Start on that,
pretty soon, you're hooked on heroin.
I've seen guys on that stuff.
It makes them think they can fly
and jump off buildings and that.
very bad for you.
Please don't talk about it
while my brother's in the car.
Ok.
Not bad.
For an old-timer, you mean.
Pretty bombed.
Really?
♪♪ Say it's all right ♪♪
♪♪ It's all right ♪♪
♪♪ Say it's all right ♪♪
♪♪ It's all right ♪♪
Those kids can really dance.
♪♪ Have a good time 'cause it's all right ♪♪
What?
Nothing.
I mean...
I really don't know how to say this.
I mean...
Do you...
I mean, would you...
♪♪ you got soul and everybody knows ♪♪
♪♪ That it's all right ♪♪
Oh, give me a little kiss.
Come on, sonny.
Tequila.
When's the donkey go on?
You'll know when.
After a while.
You're going in there?
You want the best spanish fly.
I've already been in there.
He tried to shoot me.
He has to be careful.
This is very illegal.
I know this man. He trusts me.
He doesn't know you. ¿¿Comprende?
I get you.
It shows to go you,
you got to have connections.
Yeah.
You'll get exactly what you deserve, Dave.
I told you he could get them.
She'll be begging for it.
Here you go.
The last six he had.
I gave him an extra $2.00.
So that's 12 I owe you?
Remember, they're extra strong, so half a pill.
Right, right.
There's 4 more for the taxi.
Damn, that cleans me.
I guess we'll walk back.
Yeah, it's faster.
Buenas noches, can I help you?
Ah, yes. We would like a room please.
Well...
here we are.
Here we are.
You probably think I'm...
I'm kind of a sophisicated older woman.
I'm not.
I wish I were.
It might make all of this alot easier.
Well, uh. Maybe not easy.
You see, uh.
I've never even kissed another guy.
I mean, since I was married.
So...
Donkey, donkey, donkey!
Jesus!
Sorry.
Asshole!
Look, I said I was sorry. OK?
What am I supposed to do now?
You can pull it over your head and suck on it.
Oh yeah, Pussy?
Get your hands off me.
That's Mr. Pussy to you. Alright?
Fight!
Wimp. I'm not like ordinary guys.
I got more of those hormones or something.
You know, like a male nymphomaniac.
I feel sorry for you, Dave.
Then loan me a few bucks, so I can go to another whorehouse.
Forget it.
I'm foaming at the mouth.
I can't keep it down anymore.
Down boy, down boy.
Gross.
What?
Look at that set of jugs.
Dave, don...
Hello.
Will you settle down?!
What's the matter, you deaf?
All right.
Everybody take it easy, eh?
Get off.
Hey, cut that! Hey, you!
You.
Whee. Whee.
I didn't mean to come on too strong.
The music's bitchin'.
Thought you'd like to dance.
Thanks anyways.
Have I got B.O. Or something?
Please, go away.
That sure is good-looking punch you got there.
I'll tell you what.
I'll be right over there
if you want me for any reason at all.
I'll be right over there waiting, ok?
Just remember.
Struck out, huh?
Yeah, right, wimp.
Soon she'll be over here begging for it.
What do you mean?
I slipped her some fly.
What? You're pretty lucky.
Why's that?
If I thought that stuff really worked,
I'd tell her.
Say one word,
they'll eat you for tacos tomorrow.
Relax and wait till the stuff takes hold.
Come on.
Lay off me.
You come down here for a good time?
I'll show you one.
Get in there!
Are you ok?
Was it something I did wrong?
No. It was wonderful.
Everything it used to be a long time ago with him.
Spider?
No. Larry.
That was Spider in that police car.
Are you sure?
That's the road out of town.
Come on.
This is ridiculous. How long...
Hey, look. It's starting to take effect.
She's getting twitchy.
That was a mosquito, Dave.
Hey, look.
Did I show you my new watch?
That's a genuine Bulova.
Oh, uh... Solid gold, too, I'll bet.
That's right.
Hey! Check out that model A.
You are interested in something besides sex.
Hey-y-y. Boss model A. Yours?
Yeah.
What have you got in it?
A Chevy block and a La Salle transmission.
A La Salle transmission? Bitchin'.
Where did you find it?
I work in a junkyard.
Got any more there?
No. You got a car?
I got a '57 Chevy getting tuck-and-rolled
at vaca Negro's.
Chuey. He does good work.
You gotta be careful
he doesn't stuff your seats with horseshit.
What?
I'm just kidding. Just a joke.
Hey, you got lots of nice-looking girls around here.
There's lots of good-looking women in Tijuana.
You ever use spanish fly on them?
There's no such thing.
That's just for the tourists.
Oh, yeah? Take a look at these.
That's aspirin.
Bullshit. I paid 3 bucks a piece for those.
Maybe so. It's still aspirin.
We'll see about that. See that chick over there?
Which chick?
The chick standing right over there.
She'll be climbing the walls soon.
That chick right there?
Mm-hmm.
That chick is my sister, man.
Hey!
Put him in the car.
I'm going to teach yo a lesson, Chulo,
you and your friend.
Put him in.
Don't hurt me!
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Hey, I didn't mean it!
Stop this car right now! Stop it!
All right, let's go.
Come on.
Look, can't we work this out?
I told you to go home
and learn some manners, kid.
Now you will learn them here.
Get inside!
What if he's not at the jail?
He's got to be there.
If they took him this way, he's in the Tijuana jail.
He'll need a good lawyer.
This man... he's the best lawyer in all Tijuana.
Morales.
Oh, I know this guy.
He does divorces, right?
Just tell him Carlos sent you.
Ok if I sit here?
You ask me if you want something.
Sorry. I didn't know.
Is it ok if I sit here?
No.
All right.
Not there.
Give me a break, will you?
El quiere su mama.
You want your mama?
Hey, look...
I'm your mama here.
Don't do that.
You fight me.
You win, you do anything you want.
I don't want to fight you, ok?
Come on.
Bye-bye, gringo.
Now you can sit there.
How many times
does a guy got to say he's sorry?
How was I to know she was your sister?
You knew she was somebody's sister.
Excuse me.
Yes.
We saw you drive by with our friend.
Did you bring him here?
Yes. He's in the jail.
Go to the line, and talk to the officer.
What did he do?
How do we get him out?
You don't get him out.
What do you mean?
Perdoname, señor.
Oh, hablas español, señorita.
Would it be possible
to speak with you a moment... Privately?
I'm scared, Dave.
What are they going to do to us?
I don't know.
Leave him alone. He's just a kid!
We won't hurt him.
We want him to see what we do to you.
You wanted a La Salle transmission.
There's one back here.
I don't really want one.
Help!
I'm sorry, wimp!
You're not suggesting a bribe?
Oh, of course not.
We would just like
to pay his fine in advance.
Ok?
I don't like to see american boys in jail,
but your friend is held on a serious charge.
The fine could be quite large.
How large?
Uh... Maybe, uh... $3,000.
$3,000?
We can't pay that much.
Ok. He goes before the judge tomorrow.
Wait. What will the judge give him?
Oh, three, four years.
If you want to see me, I'll be in my office.
Senor, why are you...
What did he really do?
He pissed me off.
Hey.
Lookee here.
As they say,
every cloud has a silver lining.
Get up, geek.
Get up before I stomp you to death.
Is it just you,
or do I have to take on all three of you?
Wise ass.
It's because of you we're in here.
Yeah?
Welcome to my cell.
If you want to talk to my friend
or anybody else,
you talk to me first.
¿¿Comprende?
Ay-yi-yi.
What about his family?
His mother, you mean.
She hasn't got any money.
She doesn't care what happens to him anyway.
Wait a minute.
Come on.
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
What are you doing?
You'll find out.
Find out what?
We're not going to hurt him, are we?
We're just going to scare the hell out of him.
Despacio, huh?
Hey, Chulo.
You ever hear of the Ouacan revenge?
No.
In Mexico, we have an old custom.
When a man makes his masculine parts
offensive to those around him,
the offending organ...
Is eliminated.
What?
Ha ha ha!
Armando, bajalo.
Oh, no! No! Please, don't!
Hey, you, gringo.
Me?
Let's go. Your fine has been paid.
Adios, amigo.
Adios.
Hey.
The MPs will have us out of here,
and when they do, you're dead.
Yeah? Says who, dick-breath?
Jesus.
Listen, I'm sorry about...
Forget it.
Let's go.
Thanks a lot.
Americans like you come to Mexico to do things
you wouldn't do in your own country.
This is our country, man.
That's right, ese.
You treat us like pigs.
You think we're dirty because our town's dirty.
This isn't our town, man.
This is your town.
Without you and people like you,
there would be no Tijuana.
Armando, bajalo.
Mas.
I didn't mean it!
No! No!
Oh, no! No! Please, don't!
Wimp! Aah!
No! No!
No, please!
Please don't!
You are huge.
Our money! We'll give you our money!
Please! Wimp! Give them the... wimp!
Hey, where's the kid?
My car!
Just wait till you come back!
Vamos!
Oh, gosh.
Wimp!
Hurry!
Don't worry, Dave. I'll get you down.
Hurry! Hurry!
Wimp! The other way!
Don't just sit there! Do something!
Come on! They're going to kill us!
We're going to die!
Thank god!
Wimp, hurry!
They're going to kill us!
Hey, come back!
Pussies!
Friggin' pussies!
Ha ha ha!
Wimp!
Watch out!
Wimp!
My name is Wendell.
I love you, Wendell! I love you, Wendell!
All right, let's go.
¿¿Que pasa, Chuey?
Hola, jefe.
Nos a ver el trabajo, hombre.
Hey, that is beautiful.
That's a nice job.
Let's get to business.
Where's your friend who owns it?
He'll be here any minute.
¿¿Jefe, que lo esta pasando?
Aqui no pasa nada.
El carro es mio, mano.
Is this true?
Yes, uh... We made a deal.
You're not going to believe what happened.
We were almost murdered,
but wimp... I mean Wendell
saved our lives, I swear.
Oh, yeah?
Some weird things have happened here, too, Dave.
What's that cop doing to my car?
He's looking at your motor. Dave...
I don't trust that guy.
Kathy, you'll never believe what happened.
What? What is it?
How much is your car worth?
I wouldn't sell it for a million bucks.
You know that.
Dave. What? What?!
It's a long story, but all that's important
is they threw Spider in the Tijuana jail.
They were going to give him 4 years.
To get him out, I told that cop
you'd give him your car.
I know it's bad, but we're all...
Give him my car?
You're out of your mind!
Hold on. This is my baby.
Old yo-yo's been making deals without my say-so.
What do you mean?
Just what I said.
You lied to me, huh?
"Lie," sir, is a strong word.
I truly believed Dave would give up...
Wait a second. This isn't my fault.
I like Spider,
but these are my wheels you're talking about.
Look, you want a car?
Why don't you take that car?
It's got mexican plates.
Where did you get that car?
There were these guys,
and they took me to the junkyard and...
You stole the car, huh?
Wait a second!
You're going to go to jail, too.
You straighten the thing out there.
Reconsider the original offer, Dave.
What?
Give him your car.
Uh, sir...
What?
I've reconsidered, and I...
You can have my car.
How about this?
I take your car,
I take that car,
and I take you to jail.
I mean right now.
Come on, move it.
Hold it up.
I've got an idea.
What idea? What?
You're going to go to jail, too.
I got another deal.
I don't want to hear any more of your deals.
Deal! I want to offer you...
Aah! Aah!
Get his gun.
I'm going to slap your face.
Let me get the handcuffs.
verygood.
Hold his hands up.
Get rid of it!
Ow!
A little bit farther over here.
The car!
Get in the car!
You will never get out of this!
Let's go.
Come on, out of here, let's go.
Out of here!
Where are the keys?
You forgot to pay for the tuck-and-roll.
Pay him, pay him, Wendell. David.
Chuey, what are you doing?
Here. It's all there, Chuey.
Hey.
Chuey!
Dave, come on!
Stop!
Go!
Hey, muchachos, take me with you!
We can follow them!
Wait for me, hombres!
Hey!
Chuey!
¿¿Por que lo diste la llave, mano?
Porque me pagaron por el tuck-and-roll.
Oh, no.
Carro, mano.
¡Apaganlo!
¿¿Te pasa?
Ha ha ha!
Who are they?
Those guys want to kill me and Wendell.
We gotta get across the border.
Where is the border?
Isn't it back the other way?
It's straight.
That's it over there.
All right, playboy, get in.
¡Ay cabrón!!
What really pisses me off about leaving T.J.
Is we won't get another crack at that punk.
Hey, that was... Oh, no!
Whooooaa!
God damn it!
What happened?
They went that way!
All right!
Get those mothers!
Hey, hey, hey!
Stop the car.
Larry!
I don't believe it.
What are you doing?
There was a pepsi bottle down here.
You son of a...
Light me.
¿¿Que pasó?
¡Ay, chinga!
Aah!
Banzai!
To the border!
Simply savages.
Best body shop in all Tijuana.
Tell them Fernando sent you.
Oh, no, we're cooked!
We can't make it across that.
What are we going to do?
Se venden dulces de Mexico.
He'll be here any second.
Just pray your guts out.
Where the hell are you going?
Oh, that's great.
He's the one that got us into this.
Jerk!
Excuse me, sir.
Yeah, what is it?
I just wanted to say
if you find anything in that red '57 Chevy,
I didn't have anything to do with it.
In fact, I hardly know those guys.
Is that a fact?
Just keep it going now.
Pass right through here.
Moving right along.
That's it. Nice and easy.
Right up through here.
Phil, you want to grab that?
Got it.
Will he come after us?
Not a chance.
He can't say we reneged on a bribe.
Just a little further.
Hey, Mike,
I think I found something.
Oh, that.
It's just a sock.
Take them down.
Take them down!
It's just a joke.
Pull it out.
Just an empty sock.
No, thanks.
Two points.
Did you check in there already?
Yeah.
What are you,
some kind of wise guy?
You got a real funny friend there.
Ok, boys, put it back together.
Wait, no.
Let me put it back together.
Seriously, you're going to scratch it.
I just can't get over
seeing him down there like that.
You still love him, don't you?
Listen, Kathy...
I live in oceanside.
Oh, my god.
It's him.
Larry!
I've been looking for you all night.
I saw you. I couldn't believe it.
I thought I lost you.
We have a lot to talk about.
Kathy.
Could you wait right here just a minute?
I'll be right back.
Well...
Here we are.
Yeah.
Here we are.
Looks like old Woody
lost more than his jacket down in Tijuana.
Oh.
You ok?
Yeah.
I'm ok.
Bus to Oceanside, Camp Pendleton,
leaving in 5 minutes.
Bus leaving in 5 minutes
for Oceanside and Camp Pendleton.
He's cute.
He is cute.
Your hat!
You want it?
Four?
Straight to the back.
That's the marine I threw the cherry bomb at
at the whorehouse.
What?
You!
Oh, shit.
And you!
♪♪ School bell's ringin' ♪♪
♪♪ Rev up your motor, boys ♪
♪♪ We're gonna get out of here ♪♪
♪♪ Get ready to party ♪♪
♪♪ Good times are waitin' ♪♪
♪♪ Women, wine, and beer ♪♪
♪♪ Well, the sky's the limit ♪♪
♪♪ You better not be too shy to fly ♪♪
♪♪ Some say there's been a few ♪♪
♪♪ That never come down ♪♪
♪♪ From the high ♪♪
♪♪ Losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Havin' the time of our lives ♪♪
♪♪ Oh, usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪
♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪
♪♪ School's out, but we're learnin' again ♪♪
♪♪ 'Cause we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Tonight ♪♪
♪♪ We're breakin' all the rules ♪♪
♪♪ Freedom's all we know ♪♪
♪♪ The law is in our hands ♪
♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪
♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪
♪♪ You better turn on back ♪
♪♪ Don't make a single hesitation ♪♪
♪♪ Only for the ones ♪♪
♪♪ Who know where it's at ♪♪
♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ We're usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪
♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪
♪♪ School's out ♪♪
♪♪ But we're learnin' again ♪
♪♪ Cause we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Tonight ♪♪
♪♪ We're breakin' all the rules ♪♪
♪♪ Freedom's all we know ♪♪
♪♪ The law is in our hands ♪
♪♪ Anything goes ♪♪
♪♪ If anyone's afraid ♪♪
♪♪ You better turn on back ♪
♪♪ Don't make a single hesitation ♪♪
♪♪ Only for the ones who know where it's at ♪♪
♪♪ Well, we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪
♪♪ Turn the boys into men ♪♪
♪♪ School's out, but we're learnin' again ♪♪
♪♪ Cause we're losin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're losin' it ♪
♪♪ Tonight ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Havin' the time of our lives ♪♪
♪♪ Yeah, we're usin' it ♪♪
♪♪ And we're abusin' it ♪♪
♪♪ Down on the borderline ♪♪