1 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:08,888 He's going in. 2 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,623 Ah, Inspector! 3 00:07:35,832 --> 00:07:38,000 Uh... Chief Inspector. 4 00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:40,545 Chief Inspector. Hail to the chief! 5 00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:41,587 Come right in. 6 00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:44,757 Good to see you. Your disguise is ready for the final fitting. 7 00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:46,926 - I'm sure you will be pleased. - Good, good. 8 00:07:47,135 --> 00:07:50,638 - Inspector Clouseau is here! - Chief, uh, Chief Inspector Clouseau. 9 00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:51,806 Chief! 10 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,268 Yes. Listen, I saw some very interesting noses there. 11 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,770 Oh, those noses over there? They are for the amateurs. 12 00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:00,273 - I have some in my private stock. - Oh, wonderful. 13 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:04,944 Yes! You always did have a nose for noses. 14 00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:08,406 Yes. I'm sorry, but our Valentine's Day stock isn't ready yet, 15 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:10,658 - but we have some beauties here for you. - Yes? Yes? 16 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:14,162 Alright, let's try this one first. Ah, here's a marvelous one. 17 00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:16,372 Inspector? 18 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:20,251 - Alright. Shall we just get that on there? Hmm? - Yeah. 19 00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,503 - What do you think of that? Yes. - Now, wait, wait. 20 00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:25,465 I call this one "The Way We Were". 21 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,093 Yes, do you like it? It's from our Streisand line. 22 00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,596 - Do you like it? - Mm... 23 00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:34,640 No, I don't like it either. Sorry, I almost took your nose with that. 24 00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:37,685 Just a moment. Let's try this-- What are you doing? 25 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,191 Now, come over here. Let's try this one now, Inspector. 26 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:45,026 I think you will like this one very much. 27 00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:48,404 It's very suitable for your face. It fits in with your lines. 28 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,781 What do you think of that? Mmm? 29 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,076 We call this one "Wino and Roses". 30 00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:56,037 - Yes, you notice-- - Why is it-- 31 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:59,248 The veins are quite lifelike. Don't you agree? 32 00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:01,876 I am particularly proud of the enlarged pores. 33 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:05,129 Look at this one right here. Huh? 34 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:09,091 I wasn't crazy about it either. Alright, we'll try something else. 35 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,928 - Something, uh... something missing there. - Something's missing? Alright. 36 00:09:12,136 --> 00:09:13,221 - How about that? - You know what I mean? 37 00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:14,805 - Is that supposed to... - Does that work for you? 38 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:18,267 - Oh, that's very nice, isn't it? - That is a nose, Auguste. 39 00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,937 - That is a nose. - You have a nose for noses. 40 00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:24,357 I always can tell immediately I see the nose. 41 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:27,151 - We call this one our "Inky Dinky Doo". - "Inky Dinky Doo"? 42 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,239 - It's from our "Inky Dinky Doo" line. - What do you have to go with this? 43 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:35,284 This will keep you very warm, too. This has a nice effect with that nose. 44 00:09:35,493 --> 00:09:37,954 - That is too legal. Yes. - Too legal? 45 00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:41,123 I want something that is sort of, um... how can I say? 46 00:09:41,332 --> 00:09:44,085 Leave it to Dr. Balls. 47 00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:47,755 Auguste! Auguste! Look what you have done. 48 00:09:47,964 --> 00:09:49,924 - You like it? - You're a genius. 49 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:53,511 - Wait. Some-- something-- something is missing. - What? What? 50 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:59,183 Yes. I know what's missing. Here are some teeth... on the house. 51 00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:01,310 Let me see how they look. 52 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,272 - Perfect! Perfect! - Look at this. 53 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:09,652 You are a genius at your art. My dear boy. 54 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:12,572 He's still inside. 55 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,116 What do you want us to do when he comes out? 56 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:16,784 Follow him. 57 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,832 Martha! Come down and wrap the chief inspector's purchase, please. 58 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:29,839 I've recently been doing something very daring in a stump. 59 00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:33,426 Arm and leg. Only 900 francs for the complete kit. 60 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,929 Yes. Yes. It has been my experience, Auguste, that, 61 00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:40,474 in an emergency, a stump can get in the way, you know. 62 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:44,895 Alright, alright. Ah, Martha, you remember Chief Inspector Clouseau? 63 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,820 I never set eyes on zis gentleman before. 64 00:10:58,409 --> 00:10:59,952 Good evening, Martha. 65 00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:05,374 I cannot believe my eyes! 66 00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:09,253 That is because your husband is a genius, madame. A genius! 67 00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:14,634 Wrap these up, if you would, please. And I want that nose to go with it. 68 00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,847 - Impossible. - Oh, money is no object. 69 00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:24,060 That is absolutely the ugliest nose I have ever seen in my life. 70 00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:28,564 It is so revolting. It is a masterpiece. 71 00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:32,652 It is also Martha's own nose. 72 00:11:36,155 --> 00:11:38,908 My compliments, madame. It suits you. 73 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,912 Thank you, Chief Inspector. 74 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,122 Thank you! 75 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,250 I will get your bill. 76 00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:17,113 My God, Auguste, what have you done? 77 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:23,244 The left heel, cleverly built up, which gives added height and authority. 78 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:26,956 Ja? But the real secret is in the right heel. 79 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:31,335 The lifelike club-foot look is caused by a built-in spring 80 00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:36,132 which digs into the ankle, causing excruciating pain. 81 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:40,386 - Very realistic, don't you think? - Remarkable. How soon can I have a pair? 82 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,930 I can have them ready for you by Wednesday. 83 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,686 Again, Auguste, my sincere thanks. And to you, madame. 84 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:51,272 Do you like the hand? I'll pack them up with the shoes. 85 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,232 Oh, don't worry, we're having a hand sale. 86 00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:57,570 It will come in handy for scratching, in case you have any hand jobs. 87 00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,531 - We will see you soon, Inspector. - Chief Inspector. 88 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,993 Chief inspector! Goodbye. We'll see you soon. Goodbye. 89 00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,830 Oh, my God! 90 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:11,667 I've never... I can't stand! 91 00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,919 I've never been in such pain! 92 00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:17,548 Shall I kiss it and make it better? 93 00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,759 It's not that bad. 94 00:13:20,676 --> 00:13:24,013 And, so, for the third time in the memory of modern man, 95 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:29,101 the world's largest cut diamond, the famous Pink Panther, has been stolen. 96 00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:31,604 Since the reign of Akbar the Magnificent 97 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,566 in the early 12th century, until the recent bloodless coup 98 00:13:35,775 --> 00:13:39,236 of the former Colonel, now President, Sandover Haleesh, 99 00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:43,866 the Pink Panther has been the symbol of continuity of the Kurfilli, 100 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,453 the ruling family of the tiny Middle East nation of Lugash. 101 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:50,080 Princess Dala 102 00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:52,541 - Yes? - Chief Inspector Dreyfus. 103 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:53,542 Send him right in. 104 00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:54,710 ...the current military regime 105 00:13:54,919 --> 00:13:57,630 who have kept the gem under the tightest security-- 106 00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:02,551 I came as soon as I got your message, Commissioner. 107 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,762 - I commend your promptness. - Thank you. 108 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:08,474 - You have heard of the theft in Lugash? - The Pink Panther? 109 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:11,352 Yes, of course. It is in all the papers. 110 00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:14,939 Soon, I imagine, they will be sending us a request 111 00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,316 for assistance in catching the criminals. 112 00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:20,319 I have, as a matter of fact, already received such a request 113 00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:22,404 from the president of Lugash personally. 114 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:25,741 I see. How many men did the president ask for? 115 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:29,286 Only one. Inspector Jacques Clouseau. 116 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,289 Clouseau? 117 00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:35,668 - See that he's on the next plane. - Of course. 118 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,045 But, um... Commissioner. 119 00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:42,675 Don't you think that someone more... conventional would, uh... 120 00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:46,345 Not to take anything away from Clouseau, you understand, but, uh, 121 00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:49,974 in view of the tense situation in the Middle East... 122 00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:53,811 I am aware of the tense situation between you and Clouseau. 123 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:58,524 However, Lugash has requested Clouseau, and Clouseau they will have. 124 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,734 Your finger is in my ink. 125 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:04,196 Hmm! 126 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:11,912 Mm-hmm. 127 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,007 Merde! 128 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:44,004 Ow! 129 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:48,133 What's he doing in there? 130 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,145 Ah! Hello! 131 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,983 Nice weather we're having. 132 00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:11,115 I had hoped we'd finally laid to rest 133 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:14,451 your obsession with Inspector Clouseau. 134 00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:17,246 So had I, Doctor. So had I. 135 00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:22,251 And something has happened to bring on this relapse? 136 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:24,420 No, not something. 137 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:27,381 Someone. The one. 138 00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:30,843 No. No, perhaps you're right. 139 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:34,596 Something. He is a thing. 140 00:17:34,805 --> 00:17:38,350 - Clouseau? - Yes! Clouseau! 141 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,353 And your compulsion to kill Clouseau, 142 00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:42,813 is it also back? 143 00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:45,816 Oh, yes. Right back. 144 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:49,862 The thought of a world without Clouseau fills me with delight. 145 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,574 Like a-- like a summer with a thousand Julys. 146 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,453 It intoxicates my soul with, with, uh... 147 00:17:57,661 --> 00:18:00,039 - Your eyes. - What? 148 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:03,917 "Intoxicates my soul with your eyes." 149 00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,880 You've just lapsed into the lyrics of "You Go to My Head". 150 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:12,468 - I did? I apologize. - Never apologize for Cole Porter. 151 00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:18,098 Besides, your subconscious has just confirmed what we already know. 152 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:22,186 - That Clouseau has got into my head. - Precisely. 153 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:28,233 Now, how do you suppose you are going to get him out of there? 154 00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:30,402 I don't know. I don't suppose. 155 00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:33,822 You are supposed to suppose and give me all the answers. 156 00:18:34,031 --> 00:18:37,910 Look, the commissioner wants him in Lugash. Well, let the commissioner handle it! 157 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,579 I don't want to know. I don't want to be there. 158 00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:43,916 I want to be here with you. 159 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,466 What are you thinking, Doctor? 160 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,135 It wasn't Cole Porter. 161 00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:57,721 It was Gillespie and Coots. 162 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,757 - Yes? - The deputy commissioner to see you. 163 00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:37,427 The commissioner? Send him in immediately. 164 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,474 Come in, Commissioner. 165 00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:45,644 I want to discuss the Pink Panther robbery. 166 00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:51,817 I am at your service, Commissioner. Allow me to offer you a small cigar. 167 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:57,614 Swine cigars. Pay no attention to them whatsoever. Let them just roll. 168 00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,284 Read this most carefully and give me your opinion. 169 00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:03,704 I will read my opinion and give you yours most carefully. 170 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,290 Yes. 171 00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:14,339 - Do you have a light? - Yes, in the top left-hand drawer. 172 00:20:14,548 --> 00:20:15,799 Aagh! 173 00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:30,647 Agh! 174 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:32,983 Agh! 175 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:09,079 Agh! 176 00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,065 Agh! 177 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:19,107 I'm dancing in the rice 178 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:22,069 ♪ Just dancing in the rice ♪ 179 00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:26,573 ♪ What a wonderful feeling ♪ 180 00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:30,077 ♪ I'm... happy in the rice ♪ 181 00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:33,246 ♪ Always happy... ♪ 182 00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,625 Oh, allow me. 183 00:23:53,392 --> 00:23:55,811 - Excuse me. - Yes? 184 00:23:56,019 --> 00:23:59,231 Clouseau just called. He wants me to take him to the airport. 185 00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:00,524 Well, then take him. 186 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:04,945 Let the president of Lugash worry about his blood pressure for a while. 187 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:07,906 - He's not going to Lugash. - What? 188 00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:11,201 - He's booked on the 12:15 flight to London. - To London? 189 00:24:11,410 --> 00:24:14,538 He suspects the Phantom to be responsible for the robbery. 190 00:24:14,746 --> 00:24:17,290 And he said that since Sir Charles lives in England... 191 00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:22,421 - Sir Charles Litton lives in the South of France. - Well, yes, sir. Shall I tell him? 192 00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:27,384 Don't bother. He would just say "I know that." 193 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,178 Trying to talk sense to Clouseau 194 00:24:30,387 --> 00:24:35,976 is like... like Einstein trying to explain relativity to a "minkey". 195 00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:17,851 Does Sir Charles know you're coming? 196 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:22,189 No, I want it to remain a surprise. 197 00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:26,401 - Merde. - What's wrong? 198 00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:30,614 Your pop-out lighter is refusing to pop out. 199 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:35,494 Huh. It's supposed to pop out automatically when it reaches a specific temperature. 200 00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:39,831 And what exactly is this specific temperature? 201 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,333 I don't know. 202 00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:46,046 Well, you should have checked with the factory. Because it is obvious that this pop-out lighter 203 00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:52,719 has reached its specific pop-out temperature and is refusing to pop out. 204 00:25:52,928 --> 00:25:56,306 The first rule for the car-owner: know your automobile. 205 00:25:56,515 --> 00:25:59,976 - But it is your automobile. - I know that! 206 00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:02,395 But it is not my pop-out lighter. 207 00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:09,402 If it were my pop-out lighter, I would know the specific pop-out temperature. 208 00:26:20,622 --> 00:26:23,291 Clouseau was trying to fix the lighter. 209 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,002 He is sure that someone planted a bomb in the car. 210 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:30,257 Yes. Someone should have... I mean, could have done that. 211 00:26:30,465 --> 00:26:34,302 He wired Scotland Yard and said he was arriving in disguise. 212 00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:35,470 Disguise? 213 00:26:37,389 --> 00:26:39,683 What kind of disguise? Disguised as what? 214 00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:46,856 He didn't say. 215 00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:50,360 How are we gonna tell how to look for him? 216 00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:22,475 Grazie. 217 00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:38,259 Ladies and gentlemen, This is your captain speaking. 218 00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:41,137 Please return to your seat and fasten your seat belt 219 00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:43,890 as there is turbulence ahead. Thank you. 220 00:30:08,141 --> 00:30:09,559 Whoa! 221 00:30:26,326 --> 00:30:30,622 - Morning, sir. Good trip? - Oh, yes, yes. Thank you, thank you. 222 00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:33,416 - Morning, madam. - Hey! 223 00:30:37,337 --> 00:30:39,214 - Can I help you? - Thank you. 224 00:30:53,394 --> 00:30:55,063 Idiot! 225 00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:05,907 Inspector Clouseau. I'm Drummond from Scotland Yard. 226 00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:10,912 I am André Botot, mustard salesman from Dijon. 227 00:31:13,623 --> 00:31:15,291 Oh... 228 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:19,671 - Can I give you a lift, Monsieur Botot? - That would be very kind of you, Mr Yard. 229 00:31:19,879 --> 00:31:22,715 - Drummond. - Yes. How is Scotland these days? 230 00:31:22,924 --> 00:31:24,717 - Pardon? - Scotland. 231 00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:29,180 I've some relations who are from Scotland. 232 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:33,643 My grandmother on my father's side. I'm quite fluent in the Gaelic, you know. 233 00:31:33,852 --> 00:31:34,936 Rrrrrrrrrr. 234 00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:38,898 It is the night of braw bricht moons on the night of gladess. 235 00:31:40,358 --> 00:31:41,276 Yes. 236 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:46,114 Inspector McClaren, this is Monsieur Botot... 237 00:31:46,322 --> 00:31:50,702 From Dijon. How do you do? I was just telling Sergeant Yard 238 00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:54,539 about my father-in-law's sister on my sergeant's side, you know. 239 00:31:55,123 --> 00:31:56,124 Oh, yes. 240 00:31:58,543 --> 00:32:00,044 Go round the back. 241 00:32:22,609 --> 00:32:24,652 Ah... 242 00:32:24,861 --> 00:32:29,157 At last. My own house. My own swimming pool. 243 00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:37,832 My own 38-23-38. 244 00:32:38,041 --> 00:32:40,919 - Telegram. - Read it to me. 245 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:44,088 "Dear Chief Commissioner. Happy birthday." 246 00:32:44,297 --> 00:32:48,426 "Hope you enjoy the 3,000 pounds of Jell-O." 247 00:32:49,385 --> 00:32:52,221 3,000 pounds of Jell-O? 248 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:54,682 There must be some mistake. 249 00:32:54,891 --> 00:32:57,977 Where would I put 3,000 pounds of Jell-O? 250 00:33:00,021 --> 00:33:02,774 Besides, only Clouseau would be stupid enough 251 00:33:02,982 --> 00:33:06,527 to send me 3,000 pounds of Jell-O. 252 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:13,993 Argh! 253 00:33:21,501 --> 00:33:22,585 Hello, yes? 254 00:33:22,794 --> 00:33:23,920 - Argh! - Hello. 255 00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:27,256 This is Inspector Drummond of Scotland Yard. 256 00:33:27,465 --> 00:33:29,467 I know it's late. I hope I didn't wake you up. 257 00:33:29,676 --> 00:33:32,929 No, no, it's quite all right. As a matter of fact, you did me a favor. 258 00:33:33,137 --> 00:33:35,139 Who is it? 259 00:33:36,224 --> 00:33:41,229 - What can I do for you, Inspector? - Well, it's about Inspector Clouseau. 260 00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:46,818 MI5 called and reported that Libyan agents heard a rumor 261 00:33:47,026 --> 00:33:51,030 that there might be an assassination attempt against Clouseau. 262 00:33:51,239 --> 00:33:54,534 Really? Who else wants to kill him? 263 00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:57,453 I mean, who is behind it? 264 00:33:57,662 --> 00:34:02,166 We don't know. But it comes from a reliable source. 265 00:34:02,375 --> 00:34:06,462 Now, we've told Clouseau but he just laughed and said 266 00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:11,884 "The moving fingair writes." 267 00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:14,721 "Fingair." Mm. 268 00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:17,223 When it's Clouseau, he could mean anything. 269 00:34:17,432 --> 00:34:21,477 - Do you know what time it is? - Will you shut up?! 270 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:27,900 No, not you. Tell me, where is he now? 271 00:34:28,109 --> 00:34:32,613 At his hotel. Now, I think you should call him and order him back to Paris. 272 00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:35,241 Until we verify this rumor one way or another, 273 00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:38,911 under no circumstances allow him to go to Lugash. 274 00:34:53,718 --> 00:34:57,513 - Yes? - Do you have for me the "massage"? 275 00:34:57,722 --> 00:34:59,223 Oh. 276 00:34:59,432 --> 00:35:02,643 - You want a massage, eh? - If you have one for me, yes. 277 00:35:02,852 --> 00:35:05,688 Why don't you try Tokyo Lil at the end of the block? 278 00:35:05,897 --> 00:35:11,069 Ask for Passionflower Shirley, the Yokohama Butterfly. 279 00:35:11,277 --> 00:35:13,780 - And why should I do that? - Well, you want a massage, don't you? 280 00:35:13,988 --> 00:35:16,824 Yes, but I want it from you. 281 00:35:17,033 --> 00:35:19,243 Sir, I don't give massages. 282 00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:22,080 - But you gave me one early this morning. - Sir, you're mistaken. 283 00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:26,042 Look. Don't you try the tricks anglais with me, monsieur. 284 00:35:26,250 --> 00:35:31,547 I received a "massage" this morning from Inspector Quinlan of the Yard of Scotland. 285 00:35:31,756 --> 00:35:34,884 - The massage! - And it was you that gave it to me. 286 00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:38,971 - Message. You mean message. - What? Look, I know what I mean, you lunatic. 287 00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:42,100 Now, do you or do you not have for me the "massage"? 288 00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:50,525 No, sir. For you, there is no massage. 289 00:35:58,074 --> 00:36:01,119 - Grouse-Moor Hotel. Reading? - Inspector Clouseau. 290 00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:02,537 Oh. 291 00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,501 He just went up to his room. I'll ring. 292 00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:09,669 Thank you. 293 00:36:31,107 --> 00:36:35,653 Yes. This is Chief Inspector Clouseau. 294 00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:37,822 Turn your bed down, sir. 295 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,535 - Agh! - Inspector Clouseau? 296 00:36:56,757 --> 00:37:00,303 Clouseau? Where are you? Can you hear me? 297 00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,263 Clouseau! 298 00:37:03,055 --> 00:37:05,141 Yes? You were saying? 299 00:37:05,892 --> 00:37:07,935 Agh! 300 00:37:14,025 --> 00:37:15,818 Aagh! 301 00:37:16,027 --> 00:37:18,321 Idiot! Can you hear me? 302 00:37:21,699 --> 00:37:24,869 Where are you? Clouseau? 303 00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:30,583 Clouseau? 304 00:37:32,627 --> 00:37:33,628 Clouseau? 305 00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:37,173 Now then. What was that you were saying? 306 00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:39,133 Aaagh! 307 00:37:59,862 --> 00:38:01,906 Your massage! 308 00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:07,036 Your phone. 309 00:38:18,005 --> 00:38:21,092 To the airport, my good man, and drive like the wind. 310 00:38:21,300 --> 00:38:22,593 Right, sir. 311 00:38:33,396 --> 00:38:35,690 I knew that. I knew that. 312 00:38:36,857 --> 00:38:39,527 I've got a headache and I don't want to hear another word about it. 313 00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:42,780 Then, don't involve yourself! Every time you get mixed up with Clouseau... 314 00:38:42,989 --> 00:38:44,949 - That's enough! - What do you think you're doing? 315 00:38:45,157 --> 00:38:47,034 - What does it look like I'm doing? - You can't! 316 00:38:47,243 --> 00:38:50,288 I'm doing the same thing I've been doing every morning for the last two years. 317 00:38:50,496 --> 00:38:53,749 - But you can't! - And I'm sick and tired of you telling me 318 00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:57,920 - what I can do and what I can't. - Suit yourself. 319 00:39:02,008 --> 00:39:05,428 I hope you like the new pool cover you ordered. 320 00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:12,727 - I think you made a mistake, Colonel. - Wrong. 321 00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:17,815 And never call me Colonel, Colonel Bufoni. I am now your president and I am infallible. 322 00:39:18,024 --> 00:39:20,151 It says so in the new constitution. 323 00:39:20,359 --> 00:39:22,778 Which you wrote yourself when you were still a colonel. 324 00:39:22,987 --> 00:39:26,490 And you were a captain, Colonel, which you could soon become again, you understand. 325 00:39:26,699 --> 00:39:31,203 Yes, Mr President. It's just that sending for Clouseau... 326 00:39:31,412 --> 00:39:35,958 Was a stroke of genius. He found the Pink Panther before, he will find it again. 327 00:39:36,167 --> 00:39:38,586 Possibly. And then? 328 00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:43,632 Then... the grateful people of Lugash will shower me, President Haleesh, 329 00:39:43,841 --> 00:39:47,470 with praise and honor... and their daughters. 330 00:39:47,678 --> 00:39:51,015 And the insurance companies, 331 00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:55,436 the ones which have already paid our government's claim of 12 million dollars 332 00:39:55,644 --> 00:39:58,272 for the theft of the Pink Panther, 333 00:39:58,481 --> 00:40:00,483 what will they shower you with? 334 00:40:02,276 --> 00:40:05,112 Why didn't you mention this before I sent for Clouseau? 335 00:40:05,321 --> 00:40:08,240 Because you didn't tell me till just now that you'd requested assistance 336 00:40:08,449 --> 00:40:10,409 from somebody else's police force. 337 00:40:10,618 --> 00:40:14,830 - Maybe we can withdraw the request. - Not "we", Mr President. "You." 338 00:40:15,039 --> 00:40:21,170 Only you can't. Clouseau's plane at this very minute is winging its way to Lugash. 339 00:40:21,629 --> 00:40:27,218 Ah. Well, perhaps he won't find the Pink Panther. 340 00:40:27,426 --> 00:40:29,553 Perhaps he won't reach Lugash. 341 00:40:29,762 --> 00:40:34,308 - Colonel, you wouldn't... Ah. - To save my president. 342 00:40:34,517 --> 00:40:36,685 Do what you must, Colonel. 343 00:40:36,894 --> 00:40:38,896 Just don't tell me about it. 344 00:40:39,105 --> 00:40:43,192 A president's conscience must be unblemished. 345 00:40:44,735 --> 00:40:48,030 You understand my meaning, General? 346 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,908 As the hand understands the glove. 347 00:40:51,117 --> 00:40:53,244 Oh, great one. 348 00:40:57,623 --> 00:41:01,043 Try to get control of yourself, my friend. 349 00:41:01,252 --> 00:41:03,754 Giving in in this way is not healthy. 350 00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:07,258 If I were healthy, why would I be here, Doctor? 351 00:41:07,466 --> 00:41:10,553 I was referring to your blood pressure. 352 00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:15,141 I see. He's such a maniac, such an idiot, such a fool. 353 00:41:16,308 --> 00:41:18,519 And such a lucky fool. 354 00:41:18,727 --> 00:41:21,605 He would fall backwards down a manhole 355 00:41:21,814 --> 00:41:25,067 and wind up in the arms of Brooke Shields. 356 00:41:25,276 --> 00:41:28,279 And now London, half in ruins. 357 00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:31,031 And Lugash, a helpless little desert country, 358 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:34,869 - about to be devastated. - You must get hold of yourself. 359 00:41:35,077 --> 00:41:36,704 Yes, I'm trying. I'm trying. 360 00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:39,874 You don't want to end up at Happy Acres again. 361 00:41:40,082 --> 00:41:44,712 No. But, you see Doctor, until Clouseau is out of my hair, 362 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:48,966 out of my life forever, I'm doomed. 363 00:41:49,175 --> 00:41:51,260 I'll never smile again. 364 00:41:51,469 --> 00:41:56,432 Frank Sinatra with the Pied Pipers and Tommy Dorsey. 365 00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:02,021 I'm falling apart and you go down memory lane with your silly jazz! 366 00:42:03,814 --> 00:42:09,320 They know better than to interrupt me when I'm with a patient, unless it is an emergency. 367 00:42:09,528 --> 00:42:11,280 - Allô? - Emergency call for the inspector. 368 00:42:11,489 --> 00:42:12,656 Bon, attendez. 369 00:42:13,365 --> 00:42:19,079 It would seem the emergency is not mine... but yours. 370 00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,085 Yes, Dreyfus. 371 00:42:25,294 --> 00:42:28,255 - I have terrible news for you. - What? 372 00:42:28,464 --> 00:42:30,966 Inspector Clouseau's plane is missing. 373 00:42:31,884 --> 00:42:35,471 - You are sure? - Yes, positive. I'm sorry. 374 00:42:35,679 --> 00:42:37,640 - I'll be right there. - OK, Inspector. 375 00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:39,016 Thank you. 376 00:42:39,225 --> 00:42:41,769 Doctor Longet... goodbye! 377 00:42:45,856 --> 00:42:48,108 You see before you a man reborn! 378 00:42:48,317 --> 00:42:51,570 Cured. Sane. Sound as a Swiss franc. 379 00:42:51,779 --> 00:42:55,032 - The phone call was good news? - Wonderful news. 380 00:42:55,241 --> 00:42:59,787 Clouseau's plane is overdue and presumed lost, into the sea. 381 00:42:59,995 --> 00:43:02,289 Lost into the sea and out of my life forever! 382 00:43:02,498 --> 00:43:05,501 I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair. 383 00:43:05,709 --> 00:43:10,005 I know. Mary Martin, South Pacific. 384 00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:13,509 ♪ I'm going to wash that man right outta my hair ♪ 385 00:43:13,884 --> 00:43:16,720 ♪ I'm going to wash that man right outta my hair ♪ 386 00:43:18,347 --> 00:43:19,390 Agh! 387 00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:41,203 She's here. Come in. 388 00:43:46,834 --> 00:43:50,671 Listen, I think this is a mistake. Tell her I'm out of town on a case. 389 00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:53,674 - Do you think that's wise? - But do you think talking to her is wise? 390 00:43:53,882 --> 00:43:56,010 You were his immediate superior. 391 00:43:56,218 --> 00:44:00,264 "Were." You really think he's... past tense? 392 00:44:00,472 --> 00:44:03,058 - Well, it certainly seems possible. - Oh, it would be wonderful. 393 00:44:03,267 --> 00:44:06,604 And, uh, sooner or later, a persistent reporter, like Marie Jouvet... 394 00:44:06,812 --> 00:44:09,273 But what can I say? What can I tell her? 395 00:44:09,481 --> 00:44:11,609 - That I thought him an imbecile? - No. 396 00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:14,778 That I thought he was the luckiest man in the world with the brain of a-- 397 00:44:14,987 --> 00:44:16,488 the brain of a retarded clam? 398 00:44:16,947 --> 00:44:18,824 - Of course not. - Of course not. 399 00:44:19,033 --> 00:44:21,577 I mean, you know he was an idiot, and I know he was an idiot, 400 00:44:21,785 --> 00:44:25,164 but to the rest of the world he was the greatest detective since Sherlock Holmes. 401 00:44:25,372 --> 00:44:29,376 - If I tell the truth... - Then don't. He's gone. 402 00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:32,880 Give them the hero they want. It's no skin off your nose. 403 00:44:33,088 --> 00:44:35,924 But is he gone? Is he really? 404 00:44:36,133 --> 00:44:40,512 I've got this ghastly feeling that one of these days - next week or tomorrow - 405 00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:45,100 I'll open the trunk of my car or my closet and "Peekaboo!" 406 00:44:45,309 --> 00:44:48,687 But even so, I really don't think you have a choice. 407 00:44:48,896 --> 00:44:52,858 What if I don't bring it off, hmm? You know me where Clouseau is concerned. 408 00:44:53,067 --> 00:44:57,571 My emotions are just lurking below the surface like a floating mine. 409 00:44:57,780 --> 00:45:00,574 - Oh, God. I can't do it. - You can do it. 410 00:45:00,783 --> 00:45:03,619 I can do it? Yes, I can do it. 411 00:45:04,328 --> 00:45:05,704 No, you do it. 412 00:45:18,384 --> 00:45:19,718 Miss Jouvet. 413 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,932 Ah, Miss Jouvet. How nice of you to come. 414 00:45:25,140 --> 00:45:28,686 Please, make yourself comfortable. Pull up a clam. 415 00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:32,856 How would you describe Inspector Clouseau? 416 00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:37,903 Well... I've never known a man like him. 417 00:45:38,112 --> 00:45:41,240 He was... He was unique. 418 00:45:41,448 --> 00:45:45,244 - Could you be more specific? - I could be, but... 419 00:45:45,452 --> 00:45:48,956 Well, to start with, he was... 420 00:45:49,164 --> 00:45:50,791 unorthodox. 421 00:45:50,999 --> 00:45:54,878 - In what way? - In every way. 422 00:45:55,087 --> 00:45:58,757 - Can you give me an example? - An example. 423 00:45:58,966 --> 00:46:04,805 Yes. For instance, to keep himself constantly alert to any attack, 424 00:46:05,013 --> 00:46:09,601 he instructed his Chinese manservant to attack him 425 00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:11,979 wherever and whenever he could. 426 00:46:12,187 --> 00:46:15,023 That's not only unorthodox, it's bizarre. 427 00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:17,860 - He sounds like a real nut. - Shut up! 428 00:46:18,068 --> 00:46:21,321 There were rumours that you and he didn't get along. 429 00:46:21,530 --> 00:46:23,407 Well... 430 00:46:23,615 --> 00:46:27,870 I suppose we occasionally had our little disagreements, 431 00:46:28,078 --> 00:46:32,958 but, um, when you work with somebody for 20 years 432 00:46:33,167 --> 00:46:36,754 you can't always be expected to see... 433 00:46:36,962 --> 00:46:40,299 to see... I mean, to see eye to eye. 434 00:46:41,258 --> 00:46:43,719 Then you think he was a good detective? 435 00:46:45,262 --> 00:46:48,849 He was, um... I think he was, um... 436 00:46:51,101 --> 00:46:53,645 You can't just say he was... 437 00:46:56,023 --> 00:46:59,818 There are no words to describe what he really was. 438 00:47:00,027 --> 00:47:01,069 How about "genius"? 439 00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:06,867 That is a word. 440 00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:09,536 - Courageous? - Courageous? 441 00:47:10,579 --> 00:47:12,456 Oh, courageous. 442 00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:15,417 The president twice decorated him for bravery. 443 00:47:15,626 --> 00:47:16,627 Right. 444 00:47:16,835 --> 00:47:21,757 - That sounds like a courageous man to me. - Yes, it certainly sounds that way, hmm? 445 00:47:21,965 --> 00:47:24,760 He was reputed to be a great athlete. 446 00:47:26,762 --> 00:47:28,221 He, uh 447 00:47:28,222 --> 00:47:32,309 Oh, you have no idea what an athlete he was. 448 00:47:32,518 --> 00:47:34,520 A karate black belt? 449 00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:41,985 - A black belt? Hmm? - An expert marksman. A born leader. 450 00:47:44,071 --> 00:47:46,073 Inspector, I'm so sorry. 451 00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:49,535 Gee, he's crying. 452 00:47:52,746 --> 00:47:56,375 - Hello? - This is Bruno. I want a meeting. Right away. 453 00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:58,502 - Who with? - Everybody. 454 00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,046 OK, boss. 455 00:48:03,257 --> 00:48:05,509 Aagh! 456 00:48:06,510 --> 00:48:08,554 Aaagh! 457 00:48:44,423 --> 00:48:45,465 Aha! 458 00:49:19,166 --> 00:49:22,210 You mean it was part of your job to attack him like that? 459 00:49:22,419 --> 00:49:23,545 Oh, yes. 460 00:49:24,296 --> 00:49:26,632 Well, Cato. I'm back on the case. 461 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,842 Ah-ha! 462 00:49:31,887 --> 00:49:35,098 Now to set the trap, catch the killer 463 00:49:36,099 --> 00:49:41,021 and prove to the world that Maria Gambrelli is innocent... of murder. 464 00:49:42,856 --> 00:49:44,942 We're going to have to accelerate our training program. 465 00:49:45,150 --> 00:49:47,778 You must learn to attack me whenever and wherever I least expect it. 466 00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:49,905 And you-- you must give no quarter. 467 00:49:50,489 --> 00:49:55,035 - But didn't anyone ever get hurt? - Oh, yes. Mostly me. 468 00:49:55,243 --> 00:49:59,247 There was one time, however, when the Mafia imported a ninja. 469 00:50:00,874 --> 00:50:04,211 The inspector thought the ninja was me. 470 00:50:24,231 --> 00:50:27,693 - Poor ninja. - I know just how he felt. 471 00:50:27,901 --> 00:50:31,363 And now, with your boss gone, no more sneak attacks. 472 00:50:31,571 --> 00:50:33,532 You must be very relieved. 473 00:50:33,740 --> 00:50:36,451 Well, not entirely. 474 00:50:37,077 --> 00:50:41,832 Sometimes, when you do something long enough, you miss it even if it was painful. 475 00:50:42,791 --> 00:50:45,252 What do you think happened to the inspector? 476 00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:47,921 Beats me. 477 00:50:50,716 --> 00:50:53,218 - Inspector Clouseau's residence. - Marie Jouvet, please. 478 00:50:53,427 --> 00:50:55,345 One moment, please. 479 00:50:55,554 --> 00:50:56,847 It's for you. 480 00:50:59,099 --> 00:51:02,144 - Allô? - This is Sergeant Duval speaking. 481 00:51:02,352 --> 00:51:04,396 I have that information for you. 482 00:51:05,063 --> 00:51:08,275 Clouseau's former assistant, Hercule Lajoy, 483 00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:12,029 is living on a river barge called The Moth. 484 00:51:27,294 --> 00:51:29,838 - Hello? - Hello. 485 00:51:30,047 --> 00:51:33,258 - Hercule Lajoy? - Who wants to know? 486 00:51:33,467 --> 00:51:37,721 - Marie Jouvet. I'm a television reporter. - I know what you are. 487 00:51:37,929 --> 00:51:40,557 Can I come aboard? I want to talk to you. 488 00:51:40,766 --> 00:51:42,976 - You want answers? - Of course. 489 00:51:43,185 --> 00:51:46,605 How can I give you answers? I am taking a nap. 490 00:51:46,813 --> 00:51:48,732 Well, I'll wait until you wake up. 491 00:51:49,983 --> 00:51:52,027 All right. 492 00:52:02,204 --> 00:52:04,873 You're even better-looking than you are on television. 493 00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:07,918 - Thank you. - Thank you. 494 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:13,215 I don't know why, but I have the distinct impression that I was expected. 495 00:52:13,423 --> 00:52:16,051 Clouseau has disappeared. You're a reporter. 496 00:52:16,259 --> 00:52:18,970 - Elementary. - Spoken like a true policeman. 497 00:52:19,179 --> 00:52:21,014 A retired policeman. 498 00:52:21,223 --> 00:52:23,433 - May I sit? - As you choose. 499 00:52:25,143 --> 00:52:26,895 You worked with Clouseau. 500 00:52:27,687 --> 00:52:29,689 Yes. He was unique. 501 00:52:29,898 --> 00:52:33,151 Intuitive? A man who followed his hunches? 502 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,070 Who can tell what Clouseau followed? 503 00:52:35,278 --> 00:52:38,240 All I know is he was the most successful man in the force. 504 00:52:38,448 --> 00:52:44,704 Everything I thought made up a proper investigation, he did the opposite. 505 00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:47,707 Facts, Hercule. Facts. 506 00:52:48,583 --> 00:52:50,877 Nothing matters but the facts. 507 00:52:51,086 --> 00:52:54,131 Without them, the science of criminal investigation 508 00:52:54,339 --> 00:52:56,758 is nothing more than a guessing game. 509 00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,304 You listen to me, Hercule, and you will learn something. 510 00:53:01,513 --> 00:53:02,347 Now, then... 511 00:53:02,556 --> 00:53:04,724 The facts in this case are: 512 00:53:04,933 --> 00:53:09,896 The body of the chauffeur was found in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact! 513 00:53:10,355 --> 00:53:13,984 Cause of death: Four bullets in the chest. Fact! 514 00:53:15,026 --> 00:53:21,158 The bullets were fired at close range from a.25 caliber Beretta automatic. Fact! 515 00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:26,329 Maria Gambrelli was discovered with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact! 516 00:53:26,538 --> 00:53:31,042 The murder weapon was registered in the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos, 517 00:53:31,251 --> 00:53:34,087 and was kept, mark you, in the glove compartment 518 00:53:34,296 --> 00:53:37,382 of the Ballon Rolls-Royce. Fact! 519 00:53:37,591 --> 00:53:42,262 Now, then. Members of the household staff have testified that Miguel Ostos beat... 520 00:53:44,431 --> 00:53:46,600 Careful, you fool, you've broken my pointing stick. 521 00:53:46,808 --> 00:53:48,351 I've got nothing to point with now. 522 00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:55,859 Have-- have testified that-- that-- that Miguel Ostos beat Maria Gambrelli frequently. 523 00:53:56,067 --> 00:54:00,197 And, now, finally comes this sworn statement of Monsieur and Madame Ballon, 524 00:54:00,405 --> 00:54:05,535 as well as all the members of the staff, each of them with perfect alibis. 525 00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:11,833 Now then, Hercule. What is the inescapable conclusion? 526 00:54:12,959 --> 00:54:15,295 Maria Gambrelli killed the chauffeur. 527 00:54:15,503 --> 00:54:19,174 What? You idiot! Impossible. She's protecting someone. 528 00:54:19,382 --> 00:54:21,676 - How do you know that? - Instinct! 529 00:54:21,885 --> 00:54:22,802 But the facts... 530 00:54:23,011 --> 00:54:25,931 You are forgetting the most important fact - motive. 531 00:54:26,139 --> 00:54:28,266 - He beat her. - He was Spanish. 532 00:54:28,475 --> 00:54:30,852 - He tore her dress off. - Oh, don't be ridiculous! 533 00:54:31,061 --> 00:54:34,272 Would you kill somebody who tore your dress off? 534 00:54:34,481 --> 00:54:37,400 - No, I suppose not. - Of course not. 535 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,906 No, no. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever, Hercule. 536 00:54:43,281 --> 00:54:46,785 Maria Gambrelli is most definitely protecting somebody. 537 00:54:46,993 --> 00:54:49,746 Find that somebody and you have found the murderer. 538 00:54:50,121 --> 00:54:54,125 And, uh, I shall find the murderer before the day is out. 539 00:54:54,918 --> 00:54:58,672 Maria Gambrelli will tell me who he is. Oh, yes. 540 00:54:59,256 --> 00:55:02,842 Yet Clouseau was proved right. Maria Gambrelli was innocent. 541 00:55:03,051 --> 00:55:06,805 Clouseau was always proved right at the end of the case. 542 00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:10,934 But on the way even he made a few miscalculations. 543 00:55:28,868 --> 00:55:30,412 Agh! 544 00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:36,918 And now he is lost in the sea. 545 00:55:37,127 --> 00:55:39,921 I admired his successes, but his methods... 546 00:55:40,130 --> 00:55:44,301 They made a mockery of everything I knew of police work, so I quit. 547 00:55:44,509 --> 00:55:48,263 But I have a good life. I carry a few cargoes. 548 00:55:48,471 --> 00:55:53,310 I charter to a group of tourists in August when it gets too hot to stay in Paris. 549 00:55:54,019 --> 00:55:58,148 Don't you miss it sometimes, the-- the excitement? 550 00:55:58,356 --> 00:56:03,695 Young lady, if I missed the excitement don't you think I would bait my hook? 551 00:56:06,614 --> 00:56:10,452 Thank you, Hercule Lajoy. I like you. 552 00:56:10,660 --> 00:56:14,122 And I don't think you're nearly the hard case you make yourself out to be. 553 00:56:14,331 --> 00:56:18,501 I like Hercule too, just because he is the hard case he seems to be. 554 00:56:18,710 --> 00:56:22,297 But if you really want to get to the bottom of this Clouseau thing, 555 00:56:22,505 --> 00:56:24,924 forget about us, the ones on his side of the law. 556 00:56:25,133 --> 00:56:28,219 Dig up some of the crooks he caught, or didn't catch. 557 00:56:31,222 --> 00:56:32,557 Goodbye. 558 00:56:34,851 --> 00:56:38,938 - Call again when you're in the neighborhood! - Thank you. I may do that. 559 00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:43,568 They only show the top half of you on television. 560 00:56:43,777 --> 00:56:47,530 - I'm glad the bottom is just as good. - Me too. 561 00:57:02,629 --> 00:57:04,839 - How's business? - Better. 562 00:57:05,048 --> 00:57:06,633 Pickin' up. 563 00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:09,594 Clouseau disappears. Business gets better, huh? 564 00:57:09,803 --> 00:57:11,763 Sure thing, yeah. 565 00:57:11,971 --> 00:57:17,185 - This Marie Jouvet. She's snoopin' around. - So what? 566 00:57:17,394 --> 00:57:21,314 Who knows? But I think it's better we put a tail on her. 567 00:57:21,523 --> 00:57:25,318 Luis, she's no dummy. You pick a couple of good boys, huh? 568 00:57:26,528 --> 00:57:27,570 Done. 569 00:57:33,159 --> 00:57:37,831 Well, when I first met Inspector Clouseau, about 20 years ago, in Cortina, 570 00:57:38,039 --> 00:57:39,916 I had a nasty ski accident 571 00:57:40,125 --> 00:57:44,587 and unfortunately Clouseau happened to be staying at the same hotel. 572 00:57:44,796 --> 00:57:46,589 Ow! 573 00:57:47,924 --> 00:57:50,718 - Ow! - Excuse me. My leg is caught. 574 00:57:51,302 --> 00:57:54,431 - You were married to Inspector Clouseau? - Yes. 575 00:57:55,265 --> 00:57:58,059 Had you known Sir Charles before Cortina? 576 00:57:58,268 --> 00:58:00,186 Only casually. 577 00:58:00,770 --> 00:58:03,440 I am willing to bet you 10,000 francs 578 00:58:03,648 --> 00:58:08,278 that the Phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room. 579 00:58:08,486 --> 00:58:11,030 How exciting. What do you think, Mr Tucker? 580 00:58:11,239 --> 00:58:12,907 Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, 581 00:58:13,116 --> 00:58:16,286 ten of his last 15 victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties. 582 00:58:16,494 --> 00:58:18,037 What are we all talking about? 583 00:58:19,038 --> 00:58:22,500 - The notorious Phantom. - I'm afraid I've never heard of him. 584 00:58:22,709 --> 00:58:24,961 What little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow. 585 00:58:25,170 --> 00:58:28,506 Believe me, there are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. 586 00:58:28,715 --> 00:58:33,303 Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception. 587 00:58:33,511 --> 00:58:36,764 But I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself. 588 00:58:36,973 --> 00:58:39,517 Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. 589 00:58:39,726 --> 00:58:42,103 However, there is one other duplication, 590 00:58:42,312 --> 00:58:47,400 but that is his... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. 591 00:58:47,609 --> 00:58:52,405 - He always leaves a white monogrammed glove. - Sounds terribly theatrical. 592 00:58:52,614 --> 00:58:56,576 You know, Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I'd have chosen my victim already. 593 00:58:56,951 --> 00:58:59,287 Really? And who would that be? 594 00:58:59,496 --> 00:59:02,332 Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world? 595 00:59:02,540 --> 00:59:05,293 - I suppose I do. - Exactly. The Pink Panther. 596 00:59:05,502 --> 00:59:06,753 Such a prize he could never resist. 597 00:59:06,961 --> 00:59:08,171 He would be bound to try for it. 598 00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:11,841 I'm afraid he'd be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe at... 599 00:59:12,050 --> 00:59:14,636 Your Highness, please. Don't say it, not here. 600 00:59:14,844 --> 00:59:17,222 If I'm not being too nosy, Your Highness, I read somewhere 601 00:59:17,430 --> 00:59:20,183 that there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther. 602 00:59:20,391 --> 00:59:23,520 It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. 603 00:59:23,728 --> 00:59:26,523 - I shall never surrender it. - Why should you? 604 00:59:26,731 --> 00:59:28,566 When the present government seized power, 605 00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:31,444 they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. 606 00:59:31,653 --> 00:59:35,323 There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue. 607 00:59:35,532 --> 00:59:37,200 I tell you what. Why don't I steal the diamond, 608 00:59:37,408 --> 00:59:39,118 leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, 609 00:59:39,327 --> 00:59:41,663 - and you and I can split the insurance? - All right. 610 00:59:42,664 --> 00:59:45,124 I feel like dancing. Your Highness? 611 00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:47,335 I'd love to. 612 00:59:48,628 --> 00:59:50,797 - How about you, madame? - Yes, of course. 613 00:59:52,173 --> 00:59:55,009 - Your leg is better, Sir Charles? - What? 614 00:59:55,218 --> 00:59:59,097 - I say your leg is better. - Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you. 615 01:00:00,557 --> 01:00:03,309 You know, Mr Tucker... Argh! 616 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:06,938 That's my beer, old man. 617 01:00:07,814 --> 01:00:12,443 In May 1964 you divorced Inspector Clouseau and a year later... 618 01:00:12,652 --> 01:00:14,696 I married the man of my dreams. 619 01:00:14,904 --> 01:00:17,198 - Who was that, darling? - Oh, you know. 620 01:00:17,407 --> 01:00:20,577 That fellow Clouseau accused of being the notorious Phantom. 621 01:00:20,785 --> 01:00:24,455 Oh, him. You have to forgive her. She's not very good on names. 622 01:00:24,664 --> 01:00:28,293 - Anyway, he's terribly attractive. - But she has impeccable taste. 623 01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:31,337 What made Inspector Clouseau think you were the Phantom? 624 01:00:31,546 --> 01:00:33,006 An anonymous phone call. 625 01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,216 I see. Come up immediately. 626 01:00:35,425 --> 01:00:37,719 - Sir Charles. The Phantom. - Sir Charles? 627 01:00:37,927 --> 01:00:39,053 I've really got him this time. 628 01:00:40,930 --> 01:00:43,433 - But of course he was wrong. - About what? 629 01:00:43,725 --> 01:00:47,061 - About you being the Phantom. - Of course. He was wrong. 630 01:00:47,270 --> 01:00:50,732 - Wrong, but persistent. - Persistent he was. 631 01:00:50,940 --> 01:00:56,195 You see, he was convinced that I was planning to steal the Pink Panther. 632 01:00:56,821 --> 01:01:00,575 And when Princess Dala gave a costume ball at a villa in Rome, 633 01:01:00,783 --> 01:01:03,077 Clouseau was there with his men. 634 01:01:03,286 --> 01:01:06,539 - Warm. - Yes, must be hell in there. 635 01:01:07,457 --> 01:01:09,500 Bet it's not so good in there. 636 01:01:10,668 --> 01:01:14,881 - Anything suspicious? - No, no, no. Nothing to worry about. 637 01:01:15,089 --> 01:01:20,219 My men are everywhere. Mingling here, mingling there, watching all the time. Watching. 638 01:01:25,767 --> 01:01:28,603 How dare you drink whilst on duty? Who is inside there? 639 01:01:28,811 --> 01:01:30,772 - Sergeant Walter. - Sergeant Coff. 640 01:01:30,980 --> 01:01:33,232 Any more behavior like this and I'll have your stripes! 641 01:01:33,441 --> 01:01:37,028 - And the Pink Panther was stolen that night? - By a gorilla. 642 01:02:02,387 --> 01:02:04,138 Come back! It's me! 643 01:02:29,789 --> 01:02:30,790 To my dying day, 644 01:02:30,998 --> 01:02:35,294 I'll never forget that old man trying to cross the street. 645 01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:04,240 Come on, faster! 646 01:03:05,783 --> 01:03:08,953 What's the matter with you? Can't you drive this thing faster? 647 01:03:21,924 --> 01:03:24,886 This is the road they have gone up. 648 01:03:26,929 --> 01:03:30,266 Don't argue with me! I'm telling you I know where they've gone. 649 01:03:42,612 --> 01:03:45,990 - Now, George, any idea how we get out of here? - I don't know. I've been all over this place. 650 01:03:46,449 --> 01:03:48,284 I've been up this street, up that one, up that one... 651 01:03:48,493 --> 01:03:51,287 - How are we gonna get out of here? - Why don't you try the high road up there? 652 01:03:51,496 --> 01:03:54,332 Okay, I'll take the high road, you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles. 653 01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:55,500 Ciao, George. 654 01:04:28,157 --> 01:04:30,201 Now, listen. Who taught you to drive this thing? 655 01:04:43,297 --> 01:04:45,550 - I see them. That's them! - No, it isn't. 656 01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:04,318 And, believe it or not, for a while, 657 01:05:04,527 --> 01:05:08,030 it looked as though Clouseau himself was the Phantom. 658 01:05:08,239 --> 01:05:13,327 He was actually arrested for having stolen the Pink Panther and sent to prison. 659 01:05:14,412 --> 01:05:17,331 Tucker. Tucker! 660 01:05:18,207 --> 01:05:21,794 - But he was innocent. - Inept, but innocent. 661 01:05:22,003 --> 01:05:24,463 - Inept? - Wouldn't you say so, darling? 662 01:05:24,672 --> 01:05:27,758 Oh, no. Not in everything, darling. He was a terrific sleeper. 663 01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:30,303 - It's hard to believe. - Oh, it's true. 664 01:05:30,511 --> 01:05:33,014 He almost never made a serious mistake while he was sleeping. 665 01:05:34,307 --> 01:05:36,767 I mean, inept! France's greatest detective! 666 01:05:36,976 --> 01:05:39,145 It does test one's reality. 667 01:05:39,353 --> 01:05:41,397 - Do you think he's dead? - I hope not. 668 01:05:41,606 --> 01:05:45,401 - What do you think, Sir Charles? - No. Men like Clouseau never die. 669 01:05:45,610 --> 01:05:48,487 They're indestructible. And that's the way it should be. 670 01:05:48,696 --> 01:05:51,157 - Why? - Well, we need them. 671 01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:53,659 They help us preserve our sense of humor. 672 01:05:53,868 --> 01:05:56,996 And they're living proof that, however bad things get, 673 01:05:57,204 --> 01:06:01,751 if you persevere you survive and sometimes even win. 674 01:06:01,959 --> 01:06:05,004 So you think determination was the key to his success? 675 01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:07,089 No question about it. 676 01:06:07,298 --> 01:06:11,218 He was a fool but he epitomized the 11th Commandment. 677 01:06:11,427 --> 01:06:14,847 - The 11th Commandment? - "Thou shalt not give up." 678 01:06:15,765 --> 01:06:18,976 - I like that. - I thought you might. 679 01:06:23,147 --> 01:06:25,691 - Well, goodbye. - Goodbye. 680 01:06:25,900 --> 01:06:28,653 - Come and see us again. - I may do that. 681 01:06:28,861 --> 01:06:32,490 You know, the man of your dreams is also a Machiavellian charmer. 682 01:06:32,698 --> 01:06:34,533 I know that. Thank you. 683 01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:35,451 Goodbye. 684 01:06:35,660 --> 01:06:37,119 - Bye. - Bye. 685 01:06:59,475 --> 01:07:02,395 - You've just passed the hotel. - Yes, ma'am. 686 01:07:02,603 --> 01:07:06,732 - But that's where I wanted to go. - You see that car following us? 687 01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:09,026 What about it? 688 01:07:09,235 --> 01:07:13,948 Well, the two men in that car suggested I drop you off at another address. 689 01:07:14,156 --> 01:07:15,491 What are you talking about? 690 01:07:15,700 --> 01:07:18,744 Actually, it was more like a threat than a suggestion. 691 01:07:18,953 --> 01:07:22,957 - They threatened you? - One of them showed me his brand new gun. 692 01:07:25,042 --> 01:07:26,919 But who are they? 693 01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:32,216 I know you'll think I'm not on the ball, but I neglected to get their names. 694 01:07:33,092 --> 01:07:35,678 - You realize this is kidnapping? - Yeah. 695 01:07:35,886 --> 01:07:38,597 Well, I have to be honest with you. 696 01:07:38,806 --> 01:07:41,517 I couldn't come up with an alternative. 697 01:07:41,726 --> 01:07:44,020 You can go to prison for life for kidnapping. 698 01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:47,732 Lady, the gun he showed me was a.38 Magnum. 699 01:07:47,940 --> 01:07:49,984 I don't know anything about guns. 700 01:07:50,192 --> 01:07:53,946 Yeah, well, that gun makes enormous holes in things. 701 01:07:54,155 --> 01:07:58,117 I had a choice between kidnapping you and getting shot with that gun. 702 01:07:58,325 --> 01:08:02,872 And to be perfectly frank, I would look terrible and feel worse 703 01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,124 with an enormous hole in me. 704 01:08:39,366 --> 01:08:42,161 - Miss Jouvet, how nice of you to come. - Did I have a choice? 705 01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:45,081 Actually, no. Let's go where we can be private. 706 01:08:45,289 --> 01:08:48,709 - Do I have a choice? - I just wanna have a little talk with you. 707 01:08:48,918 --> 01:08:51,545 - Watch your step. - I always do. 708 01:08:54,632 --> 01:08:55,925 Why the B-movie melodramatics? 709 01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,552 - You could have just picked up a telephone. - Would you have come? 710 01:08:58,761 --> 01:09:01,555 To see the French godfather? Come on, Bruno, I'm a reporter. 711 01:09:01,764 --> 01:09:04,892 And a terrific-lookin' one at that. Take a swim. 712 01:09:10,981 --> 01:09:14,235 Come on. Let's make ourselves comfortable. 713 01:09:15,903 --> 01:09:19,323 - Have a seat. - Can I have a drink? 714 01:09:19,532 --> 01:09:22,076 - Do I have a choice? - Actually, no. 715 01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:26,664 - How about some champagne? - Terrific. And put a fresh peach in it. 716 01:09:26,872 --> 01:09:28,958 You heard the lady. Some champagne and put a peach in it. 717 01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:30,084 A peach? 718 01:09:30,292 --> 01:09:31,877 Yes, sir. 719 01:09:32,253 --> 01:09:36,382 - I never heard of a peach in champagne before. - Very sexy. 720 01:09:36,590 --> 01:09:38,968 - Make that two. - Yes, sir. 721 01:09:41,262 --> 01:09:45,724 - What happens if he doesn't have any peaches? - Something very melodramatic. 722 01:09:45,933 --> 01:09:49,019 Well, if it gets to that, I'll settle for plain champagne. 723 01:09:50,813 --> 01:09:55,776 You know, Marie, you really are some kinda sensational lady. 724 01:09:56,610 --> 01:09:58,737 And you know, Bruno, there is an old saying. 725 01:09:58,946 --> 01:10:01,866 - What's that? - Never bullshit a bullshitter. 726 01:10:03,159 --> 01:10:06,662 I want you to lay off on this Clouseau thing. 727 01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:10,332 - Take off your glasses. - What for? 728 01:10:10,541 --> 01:10:11,959 Then I can see what you're thinking. 729 01:10:13,419 --> 01:10:14,962 I doubt that. 730 01:10:16,172 --> 01:10:20,301 - Why do you want me to lay off Clouseau? - 'Cause I asked you to. 731 01:10:20,509 --> 01:10:23,429 - It's not a good enough reason. - It should be. 732 01:10:23,637 --> 01:10:24,722 What if I don't? 733 01:10:26,557 --> 01:10:31,145 You know, Marie, when I was your age, 734 01:10:31,353 --> 01:10:34,732 I used to sometimes wonder what it would be like 735 01:10:34,940 --> 01:10:37,902 if I suddenly found a whole lot of money. 736 01:10:38,110 --> 01:10:40,529 - Have you ever imagined something like that? - Oh, yes. 737 01:10:41,488 --> 01:10:46,493 You know, I even imagined that some day someone might try to bribe me with a small fortune. 738 01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:49,038 - Now, what did you do? - I was tempted. 739 01:10:49,246 --> 01:10:52,124 - That's a good start. - But I said no. 740 01:10:52,333 --> 01:10:54,376 - Not very bright. - I'm a reporter. 741 01:10:54,585 --> 01:10:57,588 For better or for worse, an honest one. 742 01:10:58,339 --> 01:11:00,799 Now, tell me why you want me to lay off Clouseau. 743 01:11:01,008 --> 01:11:03,469 'Cause I prefer things the way they are. 744 01:11:04,511 --> 01:11:06,639 Clouseau created a lot of problems. 745 01:11:06,847 --> 01:11:10,017 A smart lady like you could find out he's still alive. 746 01:11:10,392 --> 01:11:15,105 Or dead. I might even find out that someone killed him. 747 01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:22,780 You've got a beautiful face. Why do you want to stick it in where it doesn't belong? 748 01:11:22,988 --> 01:11:25,366 Because it's my job. 749 01:11:25,574 --> 01:11:29,828 What good's your job if you've gotta do your TV show from a hospital bed? 750 01:11:32,665 --> 01:11:36,627 I knew you were going to threaten me, but I didn't know how I was going to react. 751 01:11:36,835 --> 01:11:38,462 And you know something? I've surprised myself. 752 01:11:38,671 --> 01:11:39,421 Is that right? 753 01:11:39,630 --> 01:11:42,299 Yes. Instead of scaring the wits out of me, you have made me angry. 754 01:11:42,508 --> 01:11:44,969 In fact, I can't remember when I've been so angry. 755 01:11:45,177 --> 01:11:49,265 I am a member of the press and I will not be intimidated by you or by anybody else. 756 01:11:50,516 --> 01:11:54,270 - Hey, now who's being melodramatic? - You call this melodramatic? Wait till I get home! 757 01:11:54,478 --> 01:11:56,438 - What are you gonna do? - Faint or throw up. Maybe both. 758 01:11:56,647 --> 01:11:58,315 I won't know till I get there. 759 01:11:58,524 --> 01:12:01,694 - Eight to five it's throw up. - You've got a bet. 760 01:12:02,653 --> 01:12:04,697 Sir? 761 01:12:06,115 --> 01:12:08,867 - Gutsy lady. - Yes, indeed, sir. 762 01:12:10,411 --> 01:12:13,580 - Great ass. - I didn't notice, sir. 763 01:12:14,498 --> 01:12:16,583 Arthur, there's an old saying. 764 01:12:16,792 --> 01:12:20,170 - "Never bullshit a bullshitter." - Yes, of course, sir. 765 01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:24,133 Yes, great arse indeed. 766 01:12:24,341 --> 01:12:26,343 Bruno? 767 01:12:27,094 --> 01:12:28,804 Can I get out now? 768 01:12:32,975 --> 01:12:34,184 Yeah. 769 01:12:36,478 --> 01:12:39,648 I don't think she has such a great ass. 770 01:12:42,776 --> 01:12:44,945 - What do you expect me to do? - Arrest him. 771 01:12:45,154 --> 01:12:47,281 - On what charge? - He threatened me. He had me kidnapped. 772 01:12:47,489 --> 01:12:49,450 - Can you prove it? - Ask the taxi driver! 773 01:12:49,658 --> 01:12:51,827 You said it was the taxi driver who kidnapped you. 774 01:12:52,036 --> 01:12:54,621 Bruno's men forced him to. They had guns. 775 01:12:54,830 --> 01:12:58,500 - Did you see the guns? Miss Joulet. - No, but the taxi driver told me... 776 01:12:58,709 --> 01:13:01,378 I'm perfectly certain that everything you've told me is true. 777 01:13:01,587 --> 01:13:02,129 - But... - But 778 01:13:02,338 --> 01:13:05,215 I'm equally certain that Monsieur Langlois will deny it. 779 01:13:05,424 --> 01:13:06,467 Monsieur Langlois? 780 01:13:06,675 --> 01:13:10,012 - What it boils down to... - What it boils down to is his word against mine. 781 01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:11,221 Exactly! 782 01:13:11,430 --> 01:13:15,809 And in certain circles, Monsieur Langlois' word carries a lot of weight. 783 01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,187 You are upset so I will ignore the innuendo. 784 01:13:18,395 --> 01:13:21,065 Upset or not, Inspector, the innuendo stands. 785 01:13:21,273 --> 01:13:24,234 Miss Jouvet, may I suggest that you go home and forget all about this. 786 01:13:25,694 --> 01:13:27,237 Excuse me. 787 01:13:27,446 --> 01:13:28,947 I shall tell you exactly where I am going to go - 788 01:13:29,156 --> 01:13:30,699 I'm going to go directly to my office, 789 01:13:30,908 --> 01:13:34,203 where I shall write my next broadcast about the Mafia boss who kidnapped me 790 01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:37,790 and about the chief inspector of the Sûreté who refused to do anything about it. 791 01:13:37,998 --> 01:13:41,001 In my opinion, that would be most unwise. 792 01:13:41,210 --> 01:13:45,506 What it boils down to, Inspector, is, I don't trust your opinion. 793 01:13:57,851 --> 01:14:00,104 Miss Jouvet seemed a bit upset. 794 01:14:00,312 --> 01:14:03,148 Miss Jouvet is turning out to be a real pain in the a... 795 01:14:03,357 --> 01:14:04,942 Aagh! 796 01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:08,362 So far the incident hasn't even been investigated. 797 01:14:08,570 --> 01:14:11,657 And if Bruno Langlois is in the mood to deny the allegation, 798 01:14:11,865 --> 01:14:14,410 I will be happy to repeat it on the witness stand. 799 01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:17,996 - She's talking about you. - Yes. 800 01:14:18,997 --> 01:14:20,416 Lot of guts. 801 01:14:22,126 --> 01:14:27,339 And I believe even the French godfather would think twice about challenging me in court. 802 01:14:27,548 --> 01:14:30,551 As for Chief Inspector Dreyfus, 803 01:14:30,759 --> 01:14:34,763 if he really is the paragon of police virtue that he purports to be, 804 01:14:34,972 --> 01:14:38,684 why hasn't he even bothered to find the taxi driver and interrogate him? 805 01:14:38,892 --> 01:14:42,146 - She's talking about you. - Yes. 806 01:14:42,563 --> 01:14:43,230 Aah! 807 01:14:43,939 --> 01:14:46,859 It's intriguing, but the more I find out about Clouseau, 808 01:14:47,067 --> 01:14:52,239 the more certain interested parties would prefer that I drop my investigation. 809 01:14:52,448 --> 01:14:55,576 So far, I haven't turned up anything incriminating, 810 01:14:55,784 --> 01:15:00,038 but obviously I'm rocking the boat and people are getting nervous. 811 01:15:00,247 --> 01:15:04,918 One thing's sure. I intend to keep on rocking until I have an answer for you. 812 01:15:05,127 --> 01:15:06,128 Good night. 813 01:15:18,140 --> 01:15:20,517 Inspector Clouseau's residence. Cato speaking. 814 01:15:20,726 --> 01:15:23,437 I've gone to Miami Beach to spend Chinese New Year 815 01:15:23,645 --> 01:15:24,897 with my maternal grandmother. 816 01:15:25,105 --> 01:15:27,149 Leave a message after the bleep. 817 01:16:00,224 --> 01:16:02,267 Allô? 818 01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:15,781 Avon calling! 819 01:18:43,303 --> 01:18:45,180 You! 820 01:18:50,727 --> 01:18:52,771 Regrettably. 821 01:18:59,319 --> 01:19:01,988 Inspector Clouseau's residence. Cato speaking. 822 01:19:02,197 --> 01:19:04,908 I've gone to Miami Beach to spend Chinese New Year 823 01:19:05,117 --> 01:19:06,368 with my maternal grandmother. 824 01:19:06,576 --> 01:19:08,286 Leave a message after the bleep. 825 01:19:08,495 --> 01:19:11,415 - I'm sorry. - I'm used to it. 826 01:19:12,499 --> 01:19:15,085 This is Professor Auguste Balls of Paris. 827 01:19:15,293 --> 01:19:17,170 You Oriental picaroon! 828 01:19:17,379 --> 01:19:21,883 You can't fool me about a plane crash. He is hiding to avoid payment. 829 01:19:22,092 --> 01:19:26,179 Unless I receive 4,000 francs by Friday, I'm suing. 830 01:19:26,388 --> 01:19:30,726 And you can put that in your opium pipe and smoke it, you conniving Cantonese! 831 01:19:31,685 --> 01:19:34,396 Who the hell is Professor Auguste Balls? 832 01:19:34,604 --> 01:19:37,607 Inspector Clouseau's official disguise-maker. 833 01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,277 - What's a picaroon? - A cheat. 834 01:19:40,485 --> 01:19:43,405 - Oh, that's great. - Being called a cheat? 835 01:19:43,613 --> 01:19:45,699 Some of my best friends are picaroons. 836 01:19:47,117 --> 01:19:51,538 - I'm sorry I broke in. - That's OK. Keeps me in practice. 837 01:19:51,747 --> 01:19:54,708 - Can I get you a cup of tea or something? - No, thanks. 838 01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:58,128 - I could use an aspirin. - You see, I telephoned before. 839 01:19:58,336 --> 01:20:01,798 And I really thought you'd gone to visit your grandmother in Miami. 840 01:20:02,007 --> 01:20:06,428 Miami Beach. She runs a bingo parlor. She's a real picaroon. 841 01:20:08,847 --> 01:20:11,224 I thought maybe I'd find something. 842 01:20:15,103 --> 01:20:17,230 - Like what? - Like this. 843 01:20:17,439 --> 01:20:18,982 Oh, that! 844 01:20:19,191 --> 01:20:23,111 - Do you know who these people are? - His parents. 845 01:20:23,320 --> 01:20:26,364 - Are they still alive? - His father is. 846 01:20:26,573 --> 01:20:29,117 He lives in the Château Clouseau à Lamarque. 847 01:20:29,326 --> 01:20:31,328 He's a winemaker. 848 01:20:42,047 --> 01:20:44,508 Swine rabbit! 849 01:20:56,311 --> 01:20:58,522 Mes chéries. 850 01:21:06,321 --> 01:21:08,323 Beaujolais! 851 01:21:17,666 --> 01:21:19,709 What are you doing? 852 01:21:24,047 --> 01:21:26,633 Bon, bon, bon, bon. 853 01:21:26,842 --> 01:21:29,678 - Au revoir, mes chéries. - Au revoir, Papa. 854 01:21:32,138 --> 01:21:36,476 It doesn't taste the same since we lost Fifi. 855 01:21:36,685 --> 01:21:38,770 I'm missing the great Fifi. 856 01:21:38,979 --> 01:21:40,814 Fifi! 857 01:21:41,648 --> 01:21:44,025 Could you tell me something about your son? 858 01:21:47,445 --> 01:21:50,574 No. After four o'clock, 859 01:21:51,783 --> 01:21:55,620 I can't tell you anything about my son. 860 01:21:56,496 --> 01:22:02,294 - Why not after four o'clock? - Because, after tasting the wine all day, 861 01:22:02,794 --> 01:22:08,383 after four o'clock I can't remember my son - 862 01:22:08,592 --> 01:22:12,053 let alone tell you anything about him. 863 01:22:12,262 --> 01:22:18,768 It is a miracle that I remember it is after four o'clock. 864 01:22:33,742 --> 01:22:35,452 That felt good! 865 01:22:35,660 --> 01:22:39,080 - Are you all right? - Of course I am all right. 866 01:22:39,289 --> 01:22:45,587 I was just checking that Nanna vacuumed the rug. 867 01:22:47,756 --> 01:22:49,758 Speaking of Nanna... 868 01:22:55,972 --> 01:22:57,015 Fetch Nanna. 869 01:23:02,812 --> 01:23:06,191 Nanna has been with me 61 years. 870 01:23:06,399 --> 01:23:09,027 She was Jacques' nurse. 871 01:23:09,235 --> 01:23:12,739 - Oh, really? - What? 872 01:23:12,948 --> 01:23:15,992 - I said "Really?" - I know that. 873 01:23:16,201 --> 01:23:18,995 Because you said Nanna was your son's nurse. 874 01:23:19,204 --> 01:23:23,249 Mademoiselle, you don't have to repeat what I said. 875 01:23:23,458 --> 01:23:25,835 I know what I said. 876 01:23:26,044 --> 01:23:32,008 Fortunately I am not too old to have lost my memory yet. 877 01:23:32,217 --> 01:23:34,177 K-nock wood. 878 01:23:38,682 --> 01:23:40,684 Come in! 879 01:23:48,900 --> 01:23:51,486 What am I laughing about? 880 01:23:51,695 --> 01:23:54,072 I'm not sure I can explain it. 881 01:23:59,494 --> 01:24:01,788 Nanna approaches. 882 01:24:03,248 --> 01:24:05,208 Allez! Allez! Allez! 883 01:24:05,417 --> 01:24:07,877 Apportez-moi Nanna. 884 01:24:11,423 --> 01:24:13,425 Continuez. 885 01:24:13,633 --> 01:24:16,011 Bon, bon, ça va bien. 886 01:24:16,219 --> 01:24:18,054 A gauche! A gauche! A gauche! 887 01:24:20,015 --> 01:24:21,516 A gauche! Gauche! 888 01:24:21,725 --> 01:24:22,517 Sit. 889 01:24:26,855 --> 01:24:29,315 Allez, à droite. 890 01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:31,276 A droite. 891 01:24:33,028 --> 01:24:35,030 A droite, dog. 892 01:24:35,655 --> 01:24:37,699 En bas! 893 01:24:40,410 --> 01:24:41,786 A gauche! A gauche! 894 01:24:56,843 --> 01:24:58,887 Merci, Nanna. 895 01:25:03,224 --> 01:25:04,225 En bas. 896 01:25:09,189 --> 01:25:10,106 En bas. 897 01:25:16,237 --> 01:25:18,281 - Santé. - Santé. 898 01:25:31,419 --> 01:25:33,463 She loves that dog. 899 01:25:51,106 --> 01:25:53,149 Assis. 900 01:26:01,825 --> 01:26:03,535 Regardez. 901 01:26:04,536 --> 01:26:06,579 Regardez, dog. 902 01:26:07,413 --> 01:26:10,959 No, no, Nanna. No, no, Nanna, no no. 903 01:26:14,462 --> 01:26:16,506 Fifi. 904 01:26:18,633 --> 01:26:25,223 My son Jacques Clouseau was born September 8th 1920. 905 01:26:25,598 --> 01:26:30,603 He had his mother's eyes and his father's kidneys. 906 01:26:53,418 --> 01:26:55,545 From the very beginning, 907 01:26:55,753 --> 01:26:59,424 Jacques wanted to be a policeman. 908 01:27:06,431 --> 01:27:09,058 He had many setbacks, 909 01:27:09,934 --> 01:27:13,188 but he was always resourceful. 910 01:27:18,484 --> 01:27:22,530 He was 18 when he entered the university 911 01:27:22,739 --> 01:27:25,158 and fell in love. 912 01:27:28,203 --> 01:27:31,706 The girl of his dreams married another. 913 01:27:34,375 --> 01:27:39,088 And Jacques decided that life was not worth living. 914 01:27:59,609 --> 01:28:01,611 To whom it may concern. 915 01:28:04,572 --> 01:28:07,533 I find life no longer worth living. 916 01:28:09,619 --> 01:28:12,121 - Fortunately, - Oh, merde. 917 01:28:12,330 --> 01:28:14,040 there was a power failure. 918 01:28:14,249 --> 01:28:15,625 Swine lights. 919 01:28:30,431 --> 01:28:34,185 When the Germans invaded France, 920 01:28:34,394 --> 01:28:39,023 Jacques joined the underground. 921 01:29:53,139 --> 01:29:55,183 Swine plunger. 922 01:30:05,610 --> 01:30:08,738 After the war, he joined the police force 923 01:30:08,946 --> 01:30:11,115 and the rest is history. 924 01:30:11,324 --> 01:30:14,077 Well, thank you, Monsieur Clouseau. It's been most interesting. 925 01:30:14,285 --> 01:30:18,456 - It has? - Yes. It helps to round out my tribute. 926 01:30:18,664 --> 01:30:20,666 What do you mean? 927 01:30:22,502 --> 01:30:26,005 Your tribute doesn't need rounding. 928 01:30:26,214 --> 01:30:28,716 You have a great-looking tribute. 929 01:30:31,552 --> 01:30:34,972 - He's alive, you know. - How do you know that? 930 01:30:35,181 --> 01:30:39,102 He has his mother's eyes, but his father's fortitude. 931 01:30:39,310 --> 01:30:42,021 - I thought it was his kidneys. - That too. 932 01:30:42,230 --> 01:30:47,276 A man with such fortitude and kidneys must be alive someplace. 933 01:30:47,485 --> 01:30:49,904 - I hope so. - I knew that. 934 01:30:57,245 --> 01:30:59,497 - Well, goodbye. - Au revoir. 935 01:31:06,421 --> 01:31:09,382 And so, after leaving that delightful old man, 936 01:31:09,590 --> 01:31:12,885 who is so firmly convinced that his famous son is still alive, 937 01:31:13,094 --> 01:31:15,513 I began to wonder, "Is it possible?" 938 01:31:16,097 --> 01:31:18,808 Mafia boss Bruno Langlois seems to think it is. 939 01:31:19,016 --> 01:31:22,353 Sir Charles Litton feels that such men are indispensable 940 01:31:22,562 --> 01:31:24,522 and therefore indestructible. 941 01:31:24,730 --> 01:31:28,443 And Chief Inspector Dreyfus is so obsessed with the possibility 942 01:31:28,651 --> 01:31:31,779 that he's on the verge of another nervous breakdown. 943 01:31:32,655 --> 01:31:36,576 Did Inspector Clouseau really perish in the sea, as reported? 944 01:31:37,034 --> 01:31:41,581 Or, for reasons as yet unknown, is he out there someplace, 945 01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:46,586 plotting his next move, waiting to reveal himself when the time is right? 946 01:31:46,794 --> 01:31:52,341 I am reluctant to believe that misfortune has really struck down such a great man. 947 01:31:57,805 --> 01:31:59,724 Swine seagull. 948 01:32:19,285 --> 01:32:22,413 We must find that woman. 949 01:32:26,542 --> 01:32:27,668 Here's the report. 950 01:32:28,836 --> 01:32:32,507 I will apprehend this culprit within 24 hours. Agh! 951 01:32:32,715 --> 01:32:33,758 Ah! 952 01:32:33,966 --> 01:32:36,594 Now we are getting somewhere. 953 01:32:36,802 --> 01:32:37,970 You! 954 01:32:43,434 --> 01:32:47,063 - But that's a priceless Steinway. - Not any more. 955 01:32:53,569 --> 01:32:55,613 Agh! 956 01:33:18,427 --> 01:33:20,388 Inspector Clouseau's residence. 957 01:33:20,596 --> 01:33:23,266 - Clouseau. - One moment, please. 958 01:33:23,975 --> 01:33:25,142 For you. 959 01:33:44,996 --> 01:33:47,665 He's Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Litton. 960 01:33:47,873 --> 01:33:50,585 - The Phantom? - Yes. One and the same. 961 01:33:51,085 --> 01:33:52,712 My greedy little yellow pimp. 962 01:33:52,920 --> 01:33:53,879 Ow! 963 01:33:54,088 --> 01:33:58,509 There is something that I am very interested to know. It's rumoured... 964 01:34:14,317 --> 01:34:15,526 Back to town. 965 01:34:19,947 --> 01:34:21,365 Follow that car. 966 01:34:35,463 --> 01:34:37,298 Does your dog bite? 967 01:34:39,133 --> 01:34:40,217 No. 968 01:34:42,887 --> 01:34:44,180 Nice doggy. 969 01:34:47,558 --> 01:34:49,935 I thought you said your dog did not bite. 970 01:34:50,478 --> 01:34:52,563 That is not my dog. 971 01:34:55,441 --> 01:34:56,525 - Excuse me. - Yes? 972 01:34:56,734 --> 01:34:58,027 Do you know the way to the Palace Hotel? 973 01:34:58,235 --> 01:34:58,944 Yes. 974 01:35:00,821 --> 01:35:04,950 Special delivery. A beum. Were you expecting one? 975 01:35:05,785 --> 01:35:07,286 A beum?! 976 01:35:22,259 --> 01:35:25,137 You fool! You raving Oriental idiot! 977 01:35:25,346 --> 01:35:29,058 There is a time and a place for everything, Cato. 978 01:35:29,266 --> 01:35:31,185 And this is it. 979 01:35:40,861 --> 01:35:42,154 And another thing! 980 01:35:44,198 --> 01:35:48,119 I was known as the Pavlova of the parallels. 981 01:35:48,786 --> 01:35:50,246 Oh, yes. 982 01:35:52,915 --> 01:35:55,459 Yes, it's all coming back now. 983 01:35:55,751 --> 01:35:58,546 Ah, yes, I remember it... 984 01:35:58,754 --> 01:35:59,964 Aagh! 985 01:36:07,596 --> 01:36:10,599 Well, that felt good.