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00:00:02,490 --> 00:00:04,890
Cheers is filmed before
a live, studio audience.
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00:00:06,890 --> 00:00:09,090
Thank you for caring.
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00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:11,190
You see, Sam?
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00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:13,890
And you said very few of our
customers would care enough
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to write down suggestions.
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No, I said very few
of our customers could write.
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Well, you are wrong.
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I mean, look
at all of these.
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Read that.
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Let's see how
we can make Cheers
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more responsive to
its customers' needs.
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Uh... "Cheers should have
a happy hour."
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Not legal in the state
of Massachusetts.
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All right.
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"Serve hot hors d'oeuvres."
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Conflict of interest
with Melville's.
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Oh, the old place is really
shaping up, isn't it?
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You know, there's got
to be one practical
suggestion in here.
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Now here's one.
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Oh... ooh, it's
a long one.
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That means someone
really cared.
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"The thing I like best
about Cheers
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"is the sense of warmth
and affection I get
from the employees,
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"especially the manager,
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who seems to be
a generous,
open-hearted woman."
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Did you hear that?
The manager.
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"In fact,
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"the only thing needed
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"to complete the loving
family feeling of this bar,
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"would be if the manager
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made the naked pretzel
with the bartender."
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
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¶ Takes everything you've got
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¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot
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¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
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¶ Sometimes you want to go
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
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¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
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¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
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00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:04,390
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
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¶ People are all the same
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¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
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Sammy, Magnificent Seven!
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Great movie.
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No, that's my order.
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00:02:41,524 --> 00:02:42,924
Come on.
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00:02:47,024 --> 00:02:49,024
Hey, I never sat down
at this bar as a customer.
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00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:50,224
What's good here?
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00:02:50,324 --> 00:02:52,124
I've heard
the beer's okay.
53
00:02:52,124 --> 00:02:52,624
You guys seem
pretty pumped up tonight.
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Where you been?
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00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:54,524
We rented some movies
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00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:56,424
and watched them over at
Mr. Clavin's apartment.
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Don't you guys ever
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00:02:57,624 --> 00:02:58,924
watch anything
but The Magnificent Seven?
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00:02:58,924 --> 00:03:00,024
Oh, as a matter of fact,
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00:03:00,024 --> 00:03:01,624
we rented
The Magnificent Ambersons,
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00:03:01,724 --> 00:03:03,124
but, uh, watched it
for a couple minutes
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00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,524
and realized it wasn't a sequel,
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00:03:04,524 --> 00:03:06,824
so we went back to watching
The Magnificent Seven.
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Oh, yeah.
Boy, you know,
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that must have been
really something,
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00:03:09,424 --> 00:03:10,924
living back
in the Old West,
you know?
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When men were men,
settling a new frontier.
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Yeah, you know,
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00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,724
I think in one
of my past lives,
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00:03:15,824 --> 00:03:16,924
I lived in the Old West.
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00:03:18,624 --> 00:03:22,124
As far as I recall,
I handled myself pretty well.
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No one could pull a buckboard
like you, Clavin.
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Yeah, hey, you know
what the trouble is
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00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,024
with the world
we live in?
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00:03:29,024 --> 00:03:29,624
Yeah.
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00:03:29,724 --> 00:03:30,824
There's no danger.
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There's no opportunity
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for three independent hombres
like ourselves
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to stare death in the face
and conquer it on our own terms.
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What about skydiving?
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00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,024
You'd think there'd be
some thrilling,
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00:03:42,024 --> 00:03:43,924
dangerous endeavor
we could try, you know?
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00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,724
Why don't you
try skydiving?
84
00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:49,824
Yeah, everything's just
too darn safe in this world.
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00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:50,824
I teach skydiving.
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00:03:50,824 --> 00:03:52,724
I'd take you up
anytime.
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00:03:52,724 --> 00:03:54,724
Hey, I've got an idea!
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00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:57,324
What about skydiving?
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You mean,
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00:03:59,224 --> 00:04:01,624
actually jumping out
of an airplane, Woody?
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00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:03,024
- It ain't that bad.
- I've seen a lot of movies
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00:04:03,024 --> 00:04:04,024
of guys skydiving.
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00:04:04,124 --> 00:04:06,124
They're just floating
in the air.
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00:04:06,124 --> 00:04:08,524
Oh, yeah, yeah, they're
just floating in the air,
95
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:11,624
but the Earth is hurdling
upwards at 100 miles an hour.
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00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:17,324
Guys, take it from someone who's
done it well over 2,000 times.
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00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:20,324
You'll never get over the thrill
of letting go of that plane
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00:04:20,424 --> 00:04:21,924
and falling
through space.
99
00:04:21,924 --> 00:04:24,424
You'll never feel
such freedom in your life.
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00:04:24,424 --> 00:04:28,124
Who the hell are you?
101
00:04:28,124 --> 00:04:30,224
Bob Speaks.
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00:04:30,224 --> 00:04:32,424
I'm with the jump club
out in Weymouth.
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00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:34,524
Yeah, well, very nice to make
your acquaintance, Bob.
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Now, butt out.
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Sorry, I didn't know
you guys were just
blowing smoke.
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00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:42,124
But if you're serious,
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we could start
in the morning,
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00:04:43,424 --> 00:04:44,624
go through
a brief orientation,
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00:04:44,624 --> 00:04:45,824
I'd have you
jumping by noon.
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Boy, are you barking
up the wrong tree.
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These are the three biggest
cowards in Boston.
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Hey! Who you
calling coward?
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You three
cocktail weenies.
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You guys don't have
the guts to go up there.
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Hey, now,
don't force them.
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00:05:01,924 --> 00:05:04,324
Not everyone has what it takes.
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Whoa, hey,
just a second, pal.
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We got what it takes.
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We got all kinds
of what it takes.
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We could do it if we wanted to.
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00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:13,624
Just the question is,
do we want to?
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Right? Cliffie?
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Want to?
124
00:05:16,324 --> 00:05:18,124
Try and stop me, sucker.
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00:05:20,224 --> 00:05:22,024
Hey, guys,
don't leave me out of this.
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Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, fellas.
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00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:24,424
It's late
and you've had a few beers.
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You'll agree to anything.
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Damn right we will.
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Yeah, yeah.
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00:05:29,924 --> 00:05:31,424
We all agreed?
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00:05:31,424 --> 00:05:32,424
Yeah, yeah!
133
00:05:33,924 --> 00:05:35,124
What's the matter?
134
00:05:35,124 --> 00:05:37,924
No, I just caught one of my
armpit hairs in my T-shirt.
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00:05:53,824 --> 00:05:56,424
Wow, he really did it.
136
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:58,924
He was so scared in class.
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Okay, next.
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Who's he talking to?
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00:06:04,324 --> 00:06:06,624
Us, I think.
140
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Okay, just like he did.
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00:06:07,624 --> 00:06:11,024
Stand in the door,
count to three, jump.
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00:06:11,124 --> 00:06:14,224
Wait 20 seconds,
pull the rip cord, no sweat.
143
00:06:14,324 --> 00:06:17,424
Hey! Not a problem there,
huh, men?
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00:06:17,424 --> 00:06:19,624
I mean, uh,
we're men, right?
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00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:21,124
You got it, man.
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Let's go, men.
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We're still over the jump zone.
148
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I don't want to not
sound like a man
or nothing,
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00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:28,424
but this doesn't seem
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00:06:28,424 --> 00:06:31,824
like as much fun as
it sounded last night.
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00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,924
Uh, great, Woody, now
you've gone and done it.
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00:06:33,924 --> 00:06:36,224
I mean, uh, we're all pumped up,
ready to go,
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00:06:36,224 --> 00:06:38,624
and now you went
and spoiled the whole thing.
154
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,424
It's not fun anymore.
155
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Let's go back.
156
00:06:41,624 --> 00:06:42,924
You know something,
Cliffie?
157
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When you're right,
you're right, pal.
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Turn the plane around,
will ya, Bob?
159
00:06:47,124 --> 00:06:48,124
Are you sure?
160
00:06:48,124 --> 00:06:50,324
None of you
wants to go?
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00:06:52,224 --> 00:06:54,624
You don't think we're chicken,
do you, Bob?
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Oh, don't be silly.
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It's no disgrace.
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This happens
all the time.
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00:06:58,824 --> 00:07:01,724
Of course, it's always been
the ladies.
166
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You're the first guys.
167
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:06,424
Well, you hear that?
168
00:07:06,424 --> 00:07:08,524
We're trailblazers.
169
00:07:08,524 --> 00:07:09,924
Hey, oh, yeah.
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There you go.
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00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:14,524
Okay, what are we gonna tell
the guys back at Cheers?
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00:07:14,524 --> 00:07:17,124
I mean, we were mouthing off
pretty good last night.
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No problem, Woody.
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00:07:17,924 --> 00:07:19,424
We just walk in the bar,
175
00:07:19,424 --> 00:07:21,224
we look those guys
straight in the eye,
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00:07:21,324 --> 00:07:23,124
and we lie our socks off.
177
00:07:23,224 --> 00:07:24,424
I like it.
178
00:07:24,524 --> 00:07:25,824
We can't do that.
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00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,124
Why not?
Who's gonna know?
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00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:29,824
Just, uh, us and the guy
who jumped out before us.
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00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:31,524
And he's probably
dead by now.
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00:07:31,524 --> 00:07:34,724
I can't do that.
I can't lie.
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00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:36,524
I can't.
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00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:37,924
We've got to stick
together, here.
185
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,024
I mean, we made a pact.
186
00:07:39,124 --> 00:07:40,024
Men together.
187
00:07:40,124 --> 00:07:41,324
It's, uh...
it's male bonding.
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Right. Which includes lying
and chickening out together.
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00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,924
All right.
190
00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:50,324
But I've got to say
I'm not proud of myself.
191
00:07:50,324 --> 00:07:51,124
So what?
192
00:07:51,224 --> 00:07:53,224
Cliffie and I never are.
193
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:56,024
Okay, what we need now
194
00:07:56,024 --> 00:07:57,424
is a story.
195
00:07:57,424 --> 00:07:59,124
One that
we can stick to, okay?
196
00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:00,924
So whatever we do,
197
00:08:00,924 --> 00:08:03,324
we make it simple
and believable.
198
00:08:03,424 --> 00:08:05,624
All right, I got it.
199
00:08:05,624 --> 00:08:10,024
We jumped, the chutes opened
and we landed.
200
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,724
Perfect.
201
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,224
Good, good. Now...
202
00:08:14,324 --> 00:08:16,024
in what order?
203
00:08:17,724 --> 00:08:20,524
Okay, let's make the story
a little simpler.
204
00:08:25,024 --> 00:08:27,324
Well, there wasn't really
a whole lot to it.
205
00:08:27,324 --> 00:08:28,424
You know,
206
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,924
we jumped, the chutes opened,
we landed.
207
00:08:31,924 --> 00:08:33,824
Yeah, yeah,
208
00:08:33,824 --> 00:08:36,124
the pilot and the instructor
said they'd never seen
209
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,324
a first-timer do a triple
backwards somersault and land...
210
00:08:38,424 --> 00:08:43,824
and land square,
right on the bull's-eye.
211
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:44,524
So, Woody...
212
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,024
how'd you like it?
213
00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:47,724
Oh, he's not much
for talking, Sammy.
214
00:08:47,724 --> 00:08:48,724
Not Woody.
215
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:49,924
He's, uh, he's
a man of action.
216
00:08:49,924 --> 00:08:52,224
A simple man,
217
00:08:52,224 --> 00:08:53,024
like me.
218
00:08:53,024 --> 00:08:54,524
We both appreciate
a simple story.
219
00:08:54,524 --> 00:08:55,924
The, uh,
220
00:08:55,924 --> 00:08:59,224
kind of story
you can stick to.
221
00:09:00,524 --> 00:09:02,924
Boy, I tell you.
222
00:09:02,924 --> 00:09:04,724
I've always wanted to skydive.
223
00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:05,924
I've just never had the guts.
224
00:09:05,924 --> 00:09:07,724
What did it feel like?
225
00:09:07,724 --> 00:09:10,224
Well, I imagine it's
a lot like sex, Sammy.
226
00:09:11,024 --> 00:09:11,824
Well, not that I have
227
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,324
to imagine what sex is like.
228
00:09:14,824 --> 00:09:17,624
I've had plenty of sex,
and plenty of this, too.
229
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:20,524
Why don't you just get
off my back, okay?
230
00:09:22,024 --> 00:09:25,224
Sammy, you don't believe
these guys, do you?
231
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:26,424
They didn't jump.
232
00:09:27,624 --> 00:09:30,924
You two weaseled out
of here last night,
went home,
233
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:32,424
you curled up
with your wife,
234
00:09:32,424 --> 00:09:33,824
and you got
under the sheets
235
00:09:33,924 --> 00:09:35,724
with your flashlight
and Barbie doll.
236
00:09:38,524 --> 00:09:41,124
Come on, Carla,
they wouldn't make this up.
237
00:09:41,124 --> 00:09:42,524
Oh, yeah?
238
00:09:42,524 --> 00:09:43,824
Hey, Corncob.
239
00:09:44,924 --> 00:09:46,424
Who, me?
240
00:09:46,524 --> 00:09:48,724
No, the other corncob.
241
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,624
Look...
if Woody here,
242
00:09:52,624 --> 00:09:55,024
who has never told
a little white fib
243
00:09:55,024 --> 00:09:56,624
in his whole entire life,
244
00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,524
because he knows
that if he does,
245
00:09:58,524 --> 00:10:02,524
he'd go straight to
H-E-double hockey sticks,
246
00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:06,024
says that they jumped,
247
00:10:06,124 --> 00:10:07,224
then they jumped.
248
00:10:08,424 --> 00:10:09,724
Now, Woody...
249
00:10:13,324 --> 00:10:17,524
Did you and your
two playmates over there,
250
00:10:17,524 --> 00:10:21,824
really, really jump out
of an airplane?
251
00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:29,224
Well... we went up
in the plane.
252
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,224
I remember,
'cause I was there.
253
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,024
Yeah?
254
00:10:34,124 --> 00:10:38,124
We were very high
and we looked down...
255
00:10:38,224 --> 00:10:39,224
Did I mention
we were in the plane?
256
00:10:39,324 --> 00:10:41,024
Yeah.
257
00:10:41,124 --> 00:10:42,124
And the people
looked like ants.
258
00:10:42,124 --> 00:10:43,724
Although, the kind of ants
you can hardly....
259
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:45,024
Woody, did you jump?!
260
00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:47,224
Yes, I jumped,
the parachute opened, I landed.
261
00:10:47,324 --> 00:10:50,224
It was all very simple
and believable.
262
00:10:55,624 --> 00:10:57,424
God!
263
00:10:57,424 --> 00:11:00,024
I don't believe
you guys really did it.
264
00:11:02,824 --> 00:11:07,724
But Woody never lies, so
I guess it's the truth.
265
00:11:08,424 --> 00:11:09,424
Did you jump?
266
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:10,524
Yes.
267
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:12,724
Jump?
268
00:11:12,824 --> 00:11:14,124
Yes.
269
00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:16,824
Yes!
270
00:11:19,224 --> 00:11:21,024
Well, I've got
to give you guys credit.
271
00:11:21,124 --> 00:11:23,824
You know, I'd like
to try that someday.
272
00:11:23,824 --> 00:11:26,924
Yeah, well, everybody
says "someday," Sammy.
273
00:11:26,924 --> 00:11:30,724
But only a precious few of us
have the maracas to try it.
274
00:11:32,424 --> 00:11:33,724
Cliffie...
275
00:11:33,724 --> 00:11:34,924
Hey, wait a minute...
276
00:11:34,924 --> 00:11:36,624
Hey, listen,
I've got maracas here.
277
00:11:36,624 --> 00:11:37,924
Uh, all right,
278
00:11:38,024 --> 00:11:39,024
I tell you what.
279
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:41,024
Why don't the three of you
take me out, huh?
280
00:11:41,024 --> 00:11:42,724
Tomorrow, maybe?
281
00:11:45,724 --> 00:11:46,524
Tomorrow?
282
00:11:46,524 --> 00:11:47,824
Yeah.
283
00:11:47,824 --> 00:11:50,324
Is that okay
with you, Norm?
284
00:11:53,524 --> 00:11:57,024
Actually, you know,
m-my parachute is at
the dry cleaners, Sammy.
285
00:11:58,624 --> 00:11:59,724
They were talking
like Wednesday,
Thursday, you know.
286
00:11:59,824 --> 00:12:01,224
Oh, come on,
287
00:12:01,224 --> 00:12:02,824
what are you guys trying
to weasel out of this?
288
00:12:02,824 --> 00:12:06,624
Oh, hey, we live
for the jump.
289
00:12:06,624 --> 00:12:07,924
Well, all right then, great.
290
00:12:07,924 --> 00:12:09,124
Let's do it, huh?
291
00:12:09,124 --> 00:12:10,424
Woody, what do you say?
292
00:12:10,424 --> 00:12:11,824
We did it, okay?
We jumped!
293
00:12:11,924 --> 00:12:13,624
What do you want from me?
294
00:12:13,624 --> 00:12:14,824
It's okay,
it's okay.
295
00:12:14,924 --> 00:12:15,924
It's all right.
296
00:12:15,924 --> 00:12:17,824
Guys, guys,
we gotta talk.
297
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:18,924
Uh, jump pow-wow.
298
00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:20,224
Sammy, you wouldn't
understand.
299
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,024
Listen, guys,
you don't have to,
300
00:12:24,124 --> 00:12:25,824
but I'm gonna
go with Sam, okay?
301
00:12:25,824 --> 00:12:28,524
I mean, I can't live with
the lie and if I do it,
302
00:12:28,524 --> 00:12:31,224
then what I said
won't actually be a lie.
303
00:12:31,224 --> 00:12:33,124
Now, Woody, uh, you wouldn't
tell everybody else
304
00:12:33,124 --> 00:12:35,124
that we didn't jump,
would you?
305
00:12:35,124 --> 00:12:36,324
Not unless they ask me.
306
00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:38,024
Then I'd have to tell them.
307
00:12:41,724 --> 00:12:43,024
What do you say, Cliffie?
308
00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:45,524
I mean, maybe we just had
to get up there once,
309
00:12:45,524 --> 00:12:47,024
you know, get the
feel of it.
310
00:12:47,124 --> 00:12:48,424
Maybe this time we'd
actually jump.
311
00:12:48,424 --> 00:12:51,624
Uh... well, heck,
312
00:12:51,624 --> 00:12:53,224
I'll do it
if you'll do it.
313
00:12:53,224 --> 00:12:54,924
Well, you know
I'll do it.
314
00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:56,424
Hey, well, I'll do it.
315
00:12:56,424 --> 00:12:58,124
All right, then.
All right, let's do it.
316
00:12:58,124 --> 00:12:59,024
Let's do it.
317
00:12:59,024 --> 00:13:00,824
All right, come on!
Okay!
Sammy!
318
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:01,524
Yeah!
319
00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:02,824
Tomorrow morning,
6:00 a.m. sharp.
320
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,124
All right!
321
00:13:04,224 --> 00:13:07,024
Jump, jump, jump!
322
00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:08,424
Oh, damn!
323
00:13:08,424 --> 00:13:10,424
I thought Clavin
was up on the ledge.
324
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,424
Okay, Sammy.
325
00:13:21,524 --> 00:13:24,124
Time to take that first
big step, buddy.
326
00:13:24,224 --> 00:13:27,524
I kind of thought
maybe one of you guys
would go first.
327
00:13:29,824 --> 00:13:32,624
Good, God, man, why?
328
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,124
Well, because you've
done it before
329
00:13:34,124 --> 00:13:36,024
and you know what
you're doing, you know?
330
00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:38,224
Give me a chance
to see how it's done.
331
00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:39,824
See if you make it.
332
00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:40,824
Fair enough.
333
00:13:40,924 --> 00:13:42,624
You're up!
334
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:48,424
No, no, no, if you recall,
Cliff, I jumped first last time.
335
00:13:48,424 --> 00:13:50,324
You go.
336
00:13:50,324 --> 00:13:52,124
Woody!
337
00:13:52,224 --> 00:13:53,724
What?
338
00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:54,324
You go.
339
00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:56,424
Make me.
340
00:13:57,824 --> 00:14:00,124
Hey, you know
something, men?
341
00:14:00,124 --> 00:14:01,324
All this bickering
342
00:14:01,324 --> 00:14:03,624
is really kind of killing
my concentration.
343
00:14:03,624 --> 00:14:05,724
Now, I thought the spirit
of this whole adventure
344
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:07,624
was some sort of togetherness.
345
00:14:07,624 --> 00:14:09,124
Me, I don't feel it.
346
00:14:09,124 --> 00:14:11,624
I think we ought to just turn
the plane around and go back.
347
00:14:11,624 --> 00:14:13,524
Fine, Norm, you know,
348
00:14:13,524 --> 00:14:15,524
if that's how you
feel, that's okay.
349
00:14:15,624 --> 00:14:17,124
I'm not going
to jump either.
350
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,724
I'm going to wait, so, uh,
listen, Bob...
351
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,624
Oh, wait a minute.
352
00:14:20,724 --> 00:14:22,424
You guys didn't jump.
353
00:14:22,424 --> 00:14:23,824
You just made that up,
didn't you?
354
00:14:23,924 --> 00:14:25,424
Oh, yeah, right.
355
00:14:25,524 --> 00:14:27,524
Hey, Cliff.
356
00:14:27,524 --> 00:14:28,724
Did you jump?
357
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,724
No.
358
00:14:31,724 --> 00:14:32,424
That's great.
359
00:14:32,524 --> 00:14:35,124
So you come back
to the bar and you lie
360
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,424
and you stir up
everybody's imagination
361
00:14:36,524 --> 00:14:39,024
to the point where
you get me up here.
362
00:14:39,024 --> 00:14:40,124
I mean, that's low.
363
00:14:41,624 --> 00:14:42,824
You know something?
364
00:14:42,824 --> 00:14:43,824
I'm gonna do it anyway.
365
00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:46,624
It's not often you get
a second chance at life.
366
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,324
What? What are you
talking about?
367
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:51,924
There was this night when
I was playing in Tiger Stadium
368
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:53,824
towards the end of my career.
369
00:14:53,824 --> 00:14:56,324
I'd been on the bottle
for a while
370
00:14:56,324 --> 00:14:58,324
and the coach hadn't been
using me.
371
00:14:58,424 --> 00:15:00,724
But this was gonna
be a big game,
372
00:15:00,724 --> 00:15:03,624
so I decided I wouldn't have
a drink all day long.
373
00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:06,124
I was dying, but I knew
this would be my last chance
374
00:15:06,124 --> 00:15:09,124
to prove myself
as a major league pitcher.
375
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:10,024
Sure enough,
376
00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:12,024
late innings,
the call comes down--
377
00:15:12,024 --> 00:15:13,324
Send Malone in.
378
00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:16,724
I told them
that I couldn't play.
379
00:15:16,724 --> 00:15:18,124
My arm hurt.
380
00:15:18,224 --> 00:15:19,724
I chickened out.
381
00:15:19,724 --> 00:15:21,624
I was afraid to go out there.
382
00:15:21,624 --> 00:15:25,524
I turned tail and I slunk back
to the locker room,
383
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,624
And I've regretted it every day
of my life.
384
00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:29,424
And I'll tell you something,
damn it.
385
00:15:29,424 --> 00:15:31,424
I'm not going to let that happen
this time.
386
00:15:31,424 --> 00:15:32,524
I'm going out there.
387
00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:36,924
Okay, Bob, what do I do here?
388
00:15:37,024 --> 00:15:38,424
Remember what
I told you.
389
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:41,724
Get down on the door,
count to three, go.
390
00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:45,124
One, two...
391
00:15:45,124 --> 00:15:47,724
Okay, here's our story.
392
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,594
Well, nobody really planned it.
393
00:16:03,594 --> 00:16:05,194
We just all went out
at the same time
394
00:16:05,194 --> 00:16:06,594
and decided to grab hands
395
00:16:06,594 --> 00:16:09,894
and there we were in this
four-leaf clover formation.
396
00:16:09,994 --> 00:16:11,494
We were kind of like
397
00:16:11,494 --> 00:16:14,094
the June Taylor dancers
out there.
398
00:16:14,894 --> 00:16:16,794
It's kind of
a male bonding thing
399
00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:17,994
to give yourself
a nickname.
400
00:16:18,094 --> 00:16:19,394
Well, I applaud your bravery,
401
00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:20,694
but I must say I thought
we'd advanced
402
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:23,194
beyond the notion that
a real man risks his life
403
00:16:23,194 --> 00:16:24,794
in pointless confrontations
with death.
404
00:16:24,894 --> 00:16:26,394
I thought we pretty much
accepted
405
00:16:26,394 --> 00:16:27,794
that a real man is someone
406
00:16:27,894 --> 00:16:29,794
who makes gobs and gobs
of money...
407
00:16:31,094 --> 00:16:32,794
like me.
408
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,694
Well, see you later,
sisters.
409
00:16:39,794 --> 00:16:41,294
You know something?
410
00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:42,494
I-I just had this wild idea.
411
00:16:42,494 --> 00:16:44,994
Do you think you
guys could jump out
of an airplane
412
00:16:45,094 --> 00:16:47,094
holding a large banner
that said "Cheers"?
413
00:16:47,094 --> 00:16:50,794
For any particular reason?
414
00:16:50,794 --> 00:16:52,494
Well, I was just thinking
of one of the comments
415
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:53,394
I got in the suggestion box.
416
00:16:53,494 --> 00:16:55,294
It said, "You have
a really great bar here,
417
00:16:55,394 --> 00:16:57,494
but why keep it a secret?
Why don't you publicize more?"
418
00:16:57,594 --> 00:16:59,594
We could have
a cameraman shoot it,
419
00:16:59,694 --> 00:17:01,794
maybe even get it
on the news.
420
00:17:01,794 --> 00:17:02,994
Whoa, hold on a second here.
421
00:17:03,094 --> 00:17:06,894
You're talking about taking
a pure sport such as skydiving
422
00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:09,294
and tainting it
for commercial gain?
423
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,694
Yeah, yeah.
424
00:17:11,694 --> 00:17:12,494
Come on.
425
00:17:12,594 --> 00:17:14,794
A thing like that could have
a tremendous impact.
426
00:17:14,794 --> 00:17:17,194
Hey, so could I.
427
00:17:22,094 --> 00:17:23,394
Well, maybe it isn't such
a good idea.
428
00:17:23,394 --> 00:17:24,694
Maybe I was wrong.
429
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,294
Besides, I might have
gone ahead
430
00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:30,594
and made a fool of myself
and given in to temptation.
431
00:17:30,594 --> 00:17:31,394
Wait a minute.
432
00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:33,894
Wait a minute.
433
00:17:33,894 --> 00:17:34,694
What do you mean?
434
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:37,794
Oh, I just think
it's really exciting,
435
00:17:37,794 --> 00:17:43,894
all the danger of drifting
through space, you know?
436
00:17:43,894 --> 00:17:45,094
I mean, I really wish
437
00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:46,794
there was some way
that I could capture
438
00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:49,694
that feeling
of total abandonment
while making love.
439
00:17:51,194 --> 00:17:53,094
Talk about a turn on.
440
00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:56,294
Please, do.
441
00:17:57,194 --> 00:18:00,994
Let's just say
that this kind of
masculine bravado
442
00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:03,794
is too sexy
for me to resist.
443
00:18:03,894 --> 00:18:08,494
Could you wait right
here for a minute?
444
00:18:08,494 --> 00:18:10,894
Could I talk
to the June Taylor
dancers in the hall?
445
00:18:10,994 --> 00:18:13,594
Sammy? Sammy?
446
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,394
Sammy, wait a second now.
Hey, whoa. Now listen to me.
447
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:23,394
Okay, now remember,
this time when you jump...
448
00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:26,194
out of the plane,
449
00:18:26,294 --> 00:18:27,994
hold on
to the bottom
of the banner
450
00:18:28,094 --> 00:18:28,994
and let it spread out
451
00:18:29,094 --> 00:18:31,794
so that Otto can get
a good shot of it.
452
00:18:31,794 --> 00:18:32,894
Okay, question.
453
00:18:32,994 --> 00:18:35,594
How are we supposed
to pull our ripcord
454
00:18:35,594 --> 00:18:37,394
and hold on to the banner
at the same time?
455
00:18:37,494 --> 00:18:39,594
You won't be pulling
the rip cord for 20 seconds.
456
00:18:39,594 --> 00:18:40,894
Just count like this.
457
00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:42,994
One Mississippi,
two Mississippi...
458
00:18:42,994 --> 00:18:45,994
Excuse me. Could we make it
a shorter state, like Maine?
459
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,594
You know, one Maine,
two Maine, three Maine?
460
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,294
Look, you don't have to do this.
461
00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:51,094
Yeah, I could arrange
462
00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:53,494
to have some stunt guys
I know jump for you.
463
00:18:53,494 --> 00:18:54,994
Whoa, hold on now.
464
00:18:54,994 --> 00:18:57,994
You're talking about,
uh, money for you guys,
465
00:18:57,994 --> 00:19:01,094
money for Otto here,
money for the plane, right?
466
00:19:01,094 --> 00:19:02,294
Then we're going
to hire a stunt crew
467
00:19:02,294 --> 00:19:03,694
and all their
equipment?
468
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:07,094
That's gonna run us what,
$3,000, $4,000, $5,000, right?
469
00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:07,794
Yeah, at least.
470
00:19:07,794 --> 00:19:08,894
I'm comfortable with that.
471
00:19:08,994 --> 00:19:10,594
That's fine with me.
472
00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:13,094
Vera has some money
from when her folks died.
473
00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:15,494
We'll just dip into that.
474
00:19:15,594 --> 00:19:17,694
What a relief, huh?
475
00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:19,494
Hey, I tell ya,
it's not as hard
476
00:19:19,594 --> 00:19:20,794
to chicken out
this time, is it?
477
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:21,894
No, no, Sammy.
478
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,994
The more you do something,
the easier it gets.
479
00:19:24,994 --> 00:19:26,994
Go to heck
in a handcart.
480
00:19:26,994 --> 00:19:29,494
I can't eat,
I can't sleep.
481
00:19:29,494 --> 00:19:33,694
I was embarrassed to talk to my
mom on the phone the other day.
482
00:19:35,394 --> 00:19:39,494
I'd rather die like a fool
than live like a coward!
483
00:19:40,594 --> 00:19:42,694
Geronimo!
484
00:19:47,094 --> 00:19:48,794
He jumped.
485
00:19:48,794 --> 00:19:50,894
I don't believe it.
He jumped!
486
00:19:50,994 --> 00:19:53,894
He's not up here.
He's down there falling.
487
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:56,194
Hey, Woody, is it scary?
488
00:19:59,094 --> 00:20:00,894
Well, that's it, man.
I'm doing it.
489
00:20:00,994 --> 00:20:02,194
I'm going out there.
490
00:20:02,194 --> 00:20:03,194
Really?
491
00:20:03,294 --> 00:20:05,194
You betcha.
492
00:20:05,294 --> 00:20:07,094
Wow, so you don't want
to pay the money,
493
00:20:07,194 --> 00:20:10,694
so you're gonna take
the chicken route, huh, Sam?
494
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,294
No, I'm doing this for Rebecca.
495
00:20:12,394 --> 00:20:16,894
I figure the farther I fall,
the hotter she gets.
496
00:20:16,894 --> 00:20:17,794
Who's with me?
497
00:20:17,794 --> 00:20:19,994
I am, Sammy.
498
00:20:19,994 --> 00:20:20,994
Norm, you turncoat you!
499
00:20:20,994 --> 00:20:23,894
No, Cliffie, it's as if
my whole life came down
500
00:20:23,894 --> 00:20:25,094
to this one moment!
501
00:20:25,194 --> 00:20:27,394
And if I jump and I make it,
502
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,294
I prove to myself
that I am worth something.
503
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:32,794
That there's a reason for me
being on this Earth.
504
00:20:32,794 --> 00:20:35,294
Then I can just sit down
and plant it on that bar stool
505
00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:37,394
for the rest of my life.
Let's go!
506
00:20:40,394 --> 00:20:43,094
Yeah?
507
00:21:03,394 --> 00:21:05,294
Okay, let's turn it around.
508
00:21:06,794 --> 00:21:07,894
No, I'm going.
509
00:21:09,794 --> 00:21:11,894
I'm going.
510
00:21:12,594 --> 00:21:14,894
I'm-I'm going. I'm... going.
511
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,694
Okay, uh, I'm going now.
512
00:21:22,294 --> 00:21:25,194
One, two...
513
00:21:29,794 --> 00:21:32,694
Push me, shove me.
I got to do this.
514
00:21:32,794 --> 00:21:33,894
Kick me like a dog.
515
00:21:33,994 --> 00:21:35,694
I can't do that.
516
00:21:40,094 --> 00:21:41,294
Uh, oh.
517
00:21:41,294 --> 00:21:42,494
What? What?
518
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,694
We're out of fuel.
We're going down!
519
00:21:44,794 --> 00:21:46,794
Not with me you're not.
520
00:21:51,994 --> 00:21:54,594
Okay, Rick, he's gone.
521
00:21:59,994 --> 00:22:01,494
It works every time.
522
00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:09,094
You guys did it.
You actually did it.
523
00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:10,894
Look at them.
524
00:22:10,894 --> 00:22:12,994
Look at them up there.
525
00:22:13,094 --> 00:22:14,994
And there's the banner.
526
00:22:19,794 --> 00:22:21,494
Well, I wouldn't
have believed it
527
00:22:21,594 --> 00:22:24,394
if I didn't see it
with my own two eyes.
528
00:22:24,394 --> 00:22:26,994
Chickens can fly.
529
00:22:28,694 --> 00:22:31,094
Boy, I feel good, Sam.
530
00:22:31,194 --> 00:22:33,494
This is the greatest
I've ever felt in my life.
531
00:22:33,494 --> 00:22:35,994
I'm thinking about doing
something really crazy.
532
00:22:35,994 --> 00:22:37,594
Yeah, me, too, Woody.
533
00:22:37,594 --> 00:22:38,594
I'm thinking
about having sex.
534
00:22:39,894 --> 00:22:42,294
Sam, I think we're carrying
this male bonding thing
535
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:44,594
a little too far.
536
00:22:46,094 --> 00:22:48,894
Not with me,
I mean Rebecca.
537
00:22:48,894 --> 00:22:51,294
Now you're talking.
538
00:22:51,294 --> 00:22:53,594
No, Woody, no, not you.
539
00:22:57,994 --> 00:22:59,594
Say, now that
540
00:22:59,694 --> 00:23:01,094
you've seen
all that skydiving,
541
00:23:01,094 --> 00:23:05,094
how do you feel
about an evening of magic?
542
00:23:05,094 --> 00:23:06,994
Well, I have to admit,
after seeing that tape,
543
00:23:06,994 --> 00:23:09,294
my body feels
kind of tingly all over.
544
00:23:09,394 --> 00:23:11,894
Well, I think a
very special evening
545
00:23:11,894 --> 00:23:13,894
with a very
special skydiver
546
00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:15,494
could only enhance
that feeling.
547
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:18,094
I couldn't agree more.
548
00:23:18,194 --> 00:23:20,394
Hi, Rebecca,
you all ready to go?
549
00:23:20,394 --> 00:23:21,094
Oh, hi, Bob.
550
00:23:21,094 --> 00:23:22,894
I'll be with you
in just one second.
551
00:23:22,994 --> 00:23:26,094
Bob?
What about me?
552
00:23:26,094 --> 00:23:27,994
Bob didn't jump out
of that plane.
553
00:23:28,094 --> 00:23:30,894
And Bob didn't blow chow
at 5,000 feet.
554
00:23:34,594 --> 00:23:36,494
Bye, Sam.