1
00:00:00,973 --> 00:00:03,809
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

2
00:00:06,645 --> 00:00:07,645
Are you, uh,

3
00:00:07,646 --> 00:00:09,397
are you going to make
a move in our lifetime?

4
00:00:09,398 --> 00:00:11,683
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

5
00:00:11,684 --> 00:00:12,684
Oh, come on, Norm.

6
00:00:12,685 --> 00:00:14,569
Why don't you just give
up? You're finished.

7
00:00:14,570 --> 00:00:15,486
Well, not necessarily.

8
00:00:15,487 --> 00:00:16,988
He could move this piece

9
00:00:16,989 --> 00:00:18,991
over to here.

10
00:00:19,992 --> 00:00:21,993
My God, Woody, that's brilliant.

11
00:00:21,994 --> 00:00:24,996
You're suggesting that after
two futile interpositions,

12
00:00:24,997 --> 00:00:28,283
he attempt to force unobstructed
access to the eighth rank.

13
00:00:28,284 --> 00:00:30,118
Well, no, I'm saying he
should take your horsey

14
00:00:30,119 --> 00:00:32,121
with his little pointy-headed guy.

15
00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:36,124
No, not that one.

16
00:00:36,125 --> 00:00:38,010
Too late! Checkmate!

17
00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,094
Good game, Norm.

18
00:00:40,095 --> 00:00:40,929
Okay, next victim.

19
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:42,430
Well, what's with this

20
00:00:42,431 --> 00:00:44,299
obsession with chess here, huh?

21
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:45,683
Oh, it's just a hobby, Sam.

22
00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:46,684
You know, uh, relieve the tension.

23
00:00:46,685 --> 00:00:49,187
Well, I got a better
way to relieve tension.

24
00:00:49,188 --> 00:00:51,055
Her name's Tawny. You want her number?

25
00:00:51,056 --> 00:00:52,857
No, thanks, Sam.

26
00:00:52,858 --> 00:00:55,727
I prefer something with a little
mental stimulation as well.

27
00:00:55,728 --> 00:00:57,229
So read to her first.

28
00:00:59,732 --> 00:01:01,733
No, thanks. I'll stick to chess.

29
00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:03,234
You know, that and fencing

30
00:01:03,235 --> 00:01:05,119
were my two outlets during college.

31
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,537
Oh, boy, fencing.

32
00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:09,290
I haven't had the old epée out in years.

33
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:10,625
Boy, that'd make me

34
00:01:10,626 --> 00:01:12,127
pretty tense, too.

35
00:01:17,132 --> 00:01:20,001
? Making your way in the world today?

36
00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:23,005
? Takes everything you've got?

37
00:01:23,505 --> 00:01:26,007
? Taking a break from all your worries?

38
00:01:26,008 --> 00:01:29,510
? Sure would help a lot?

39
00:01:29,511 --> 00:01:33,015
? Wouldn't you like to get away??

40
00:01:35,184 --> 00:01:37,185
? Sometimes you want to go?

41
00:01:37,186 --> 00:01:42,690
? Where everybody knows your name?

42
00:01:42,691 --> 00:01:47,195
? And they're always glad you came?

43
00:01:47,196 --> 00:01:49,697
? You want to be where you can see?

44
00:01:49,698 --> 00:01:52,200
? Our troubles are all the same?

45
00:01:52,201 --> 00:01:57,205
? You want to be where
everybody knows your name?

46
00:01:57,206 --> 00:01:59,707
? You want to go where people know?

47
00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:02,710
? People are all the same?

48
00:02:02,711 --> 00:02:07,216
? You want to go where
everybody knows your name.?

49
00:02:24,860 --> 00:02:25,900
Mind if I play, Dr. Crane?

50
00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:27,651
No, not at all, Woody.

51
00:02:27,652 --> 00:02:29,954
I've thrashed everybody else in the bar.

52
00:02:29,955 --> 00:02:32,823
You may as well be allowed your
chance at ignominious defeat.

53
00:02:32,824 --> 00:02:35,293
Well, thank you, Dr. Crane.

54
00:02:40,332 --> 00:02:42,833
Hi, Sam.

55
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,835
Hi, Lor... are you all right, Loretta?

56
00:02:44,836 --> 00:02:46,838
I'm fine, and you?

57
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,341
Oh, I'm-I'm fine.

58
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,343
That's nice to hear.

59
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,345
Is Carla working tonight?

60
00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:55,346
Yeah.

61
00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:56,731
She's right over there.

62
00:02:56,732 --> 00:02:57,566
Thank you, Sam.

63
00:02:58,066 --> 00:03:00,068
It's been nice talking with you.

64
00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:03,988
Excuse me, Carla,

65
00:03:03,989 --> 00:03:06,440
but I caught Nick cheating on me

66
00:03:06,441 --> 00:03:08,443
and I've decided to leave him.

67
00:03:09,411 --> 00:03:12,413
So you finally found out
my ex-husband is a jerk.

68
00:03:12,414 --> 00:03:15,282
Well, I told you that
before you married the bum.

69
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:16,618
I've done my part.

70
00:03:17,619 --> 00:03:19,620
Carla...

71
00:03:19,621 --> 00:03:23,507
Don't ignore her in her time of need.

72
00:03:23,508 --> 00:03:26,010
Can't you tell when a woman is dying?

73
00:03:26,011 --> 00:03:27,011
Sure.

74
00:03:27,012 --> 00:03:29,514
When the roots start showing. Like that.

75
00:03:34,436 --> 00:03:36,137
Want a drink?

76
00:03:36,138 --> 00:03:37,972
A diet cola would be wonderful.

77
00:03:37,973 --> 00:03:39,224
Okay.

78
00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:42,943
Look, kid,

79
00:03:42,944 --> 00:03:44,895
I'm sorry this happened to you.

80
00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:47,898
Oh, thank you, Carla, thank you.

81
00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:50,402
I'm moved beyond recognition.

82
00:03:52,154 --> 00:03:55,156
How long did it take you
to mend your broken heart?

83
00:03:55,157 --> 00:03:56,825
I'll let you know when it happens.

84
00:04:01,296 --> 00:04:02,798
Loretta...

85
00:04:04,299 --> 00:04:05,800
would you like to talk about it?

86
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:07,302
Not really.

87
00:04:09,304 --> 00:04:12,807
To come home and find
out that a loved one

88
00:04:12,808 --> 00:04:15,810
has been unfaithful is a terrible blow.

89
00:04:15,811 --> 00:04:20,314
The best therapy is to
tell how you feel about it.

90
00:04:20,315 --> 00:04:22,317
I'm against it.

91
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:27,321
All right, Diane, you've
got your catharsis.

92
00:04:27,322 --> 00:04:28,823
Now leave the girl alone.

93
00:04:28,824 --> 00:04:31,325
Well, at least I'm trying to help.

94
00:04:31,326 --> 00:04:34,829
You're merely trying to figure out

95
00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:36,832
why your king's about to be mated.

96
00:04:37,332 --> 00:04:38,700
Oh, my God.

97
00:04:40,418 --> 00:04:42,203
Woody, you must be an idiot savant.

98
00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:44,206
Yeah, but I cover it

99
00:04:44,706 --> 00:04:46,591
by smiling a lot.

100
00:04:49,344 --> 00:04:51,212
Come on, Loretta.

101
00:04:51,213 --> 00:04:52,880
Don't hold it inside.

102
00:04:52,881 --> 00:04:56,183
Well, Nick, who is my husband,

103
00:04:56,184 --> 00:04:58,686
has been seeing another woman.

104
00:04:58,687 --> 00:05:00,688
I just realized it today

105
00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:03,191
when I found blonde
hairs on Nick's shirt.

106
00:05:06,361 --> 00:05:07,862
Loretta, you're a blonde.

107
00:05:07,863 --> 00:05:11,232
Sure. Take his side.

108
00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:14,035
Would you excuse us, please?

109
00:05:18,990 --> 00:05:20,991
Look, it's closing time.

110
00:05:20,992 --> 00:05:23,994
Loretta needs someone
to confide in right now.

111
00:05:23,995 --> 00:05:25,412
Sam, why don't you go on home,

112
00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:27,415
and we ladies will take care of her.

113
00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:30,417
Wh-What is this "we" bit?

114
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:33,921
I feel very strongly that
it's our duty as women

115
00:05:33,922 --> 00:05:37,424
to be there for another
woman when she wants to talk.

116
00:05:37,425 --> 00:05:39,927
Just as I feel very strongly
that it's my duty as a man

117
00:05:39,928 --> 00:05:41,929
to be there for a woman when
she doesn't want to talk.

118
00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:43,181
Same kind of thing.

119
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:47,485
We'll miss that kind of poignancy, Sam.

120
00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:50,194
Now, what do you say?

121
00:05:50,455 --> 00:05:51,655
Will you do it? Oh, all right.

122
00:05:51,656 --> 00:05:54,158
But only because no living
thing should be subjected

123
00:05:54,159 --> 00:05:57,161
to a night alone with you.

124
00:05:57,162 --> 00:05:59,163
That's the spirit.

125
00:05:59,164 --> 00:06:00,614
Let's wrap it up, guys.

126
00:06:00,615 --> 00:06:02,116
Oh, oh, well, all right, Sam.

127
00:06:02,117 --> 00:06:04,118
We can, uh, finish
this up tomorrow, Woody.

128
00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:06,120
Well, who's winning now, Dr. Crane?

129
00:06:06,121 --> 00:06:08,123
Oh, what does it matter who's winning?

130
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:14,295
We'll just start out
fresh tomorrow, okay?

131
00:06:14,296 --> 00:06:16,765
Night, Sam.

132
00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:28,777
Oh, Carla, I still love him.

133
00:06:29,277 --> 00:06:30,778
Nothing you can do.

134
00:06:30,779 --> 00:06:33,647
We're talking about Nick Tortelli.

135
00:06:33,648 --> 00:06:35,650
He wants you, you got no choice.

136
00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:40,621
This is the part I don't get.

137
00:06:40,622 --> 00:06:43,375
Here's a man that
quicksand would spit up...

138
00:06:45,794 --> 00:06:50,664
and yet he has this strange
Svengali-like power over you.

139
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:52,549
Oh, yes.

140
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:54,551
From the moment I first saw him,

141
00:06:54,552 --> 00:06:58,055
I knew I'd follow him
to the ends of the earth.

142
00:06:58,056 --> 00:07:01,059
Where he's obviously
spent a lot of time.

143
00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:03,060
You know, there's,

144
00:07:03,061 --> 00:07:05,063
there's something about him.

145
00:07:05,563 --> 00:07:07,064
I mean, he knows women.

146
00:07:07,065 --> 00:07:09,566
Like a jeweler knows jewels.

147
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,068
Like a meat cutter knows meat.

148
00:07:11,069 --> 00:07:16,524
Like a marine biologist knows marines.

149
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:25,532
Knowing me as well as I do,

150
00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:28,036
I'll probably end up
crawling right back to him.

151
00:07:28,536 --> 00:07:30,037
Yeah, and he'll be there waiting

152
00:07:30,038 --> 00:07:32,539
with that cute look on his face

153
00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:34,541
and those three little words,

154
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:37,429
"She's my cousin."

155
00:07:40,682 --> 00:07:42,683
You're not crawling back to him.

156
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,685
We're gonna fight this together.

157
00:07:44,686 --> 00:07:45,969
You don't need that reptile.

158
00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:47,971
You can take care of yourself.

159
00:07:47,972 --> 00:07:49,973
But what'll I do?

160
00:07:49,974 --> 00:07:51,726
Well, you must be good at something.

161
00:07:52,527 --> 00:07:56,530
Well... I'm great at singing.

162
00:07:56,531 --> 00:07:57,398
Okay.

163
00:07:57,399 --> 00:07:59,733
In fact, before I married Nick,

164
00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:02,736
I was on my way to
becoming a taller, blonder,

165
00:08:02,737 --> 00:08:05,740
less Mormon Marie Osmond.

166
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,662
Loretta, if Nick's going
to treat you this way,

167
00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:14,164
you can't let him come
between you and your career.

168
00:08:14,165 --> 00:08:15,666
You're right.

169
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:18,168
I've got to sing again.

170
00:08:18,169 --> 00:08:20,170
Do you think Sam would let me sing here?

171
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:21,972
Let me take care of it.

172
00:08:21,973 --> 00:08:23,341
I can talk him into anything.

173
00:08:25,226 --> 00:08:28,595
No, Diane, I told
you. Absolutely not.

174
00:08:28,596 --> 00:08:30,064
I wish you'd reconsider.

175
00:08:30,065 --> 00:08:32,566
Oh, please... Loretta needs a job.

176
00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:35,486
And you've never had a singer before.

177
00:08:35,487 --> 00:08:36,988
Oh, I've had a singer.

178
00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:39,908
You probably mean...

179
00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,277
Yes, in the bar.

180
00:08:43,278 --> 00:08:44,278
Right. It might be

181
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:45,662
good for business.

182
00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:47,448
I, uh...

183
00:08:47,449 --> 00:08:49,450
I don't need a-a singer.

184
00:08:49,451 --> 00:08:50,951
C-Can you waitress?

185
00:08:50,952 --> 00:08:55,173
No, but I can do a salute
to waitresses in my act.

186
00:08:56,424 --> 00:08:58,208
Come on, it's only temporary,

187
00:08:58,209 --> 00:08:59,593
until she can get back on her feet.

188
00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:02,713
Okay, all right. Okay.

189
00:09:02,714 --> 00:09:05,716
I ran across an interesting
fact the other day.

190
00:09:05,717 --> 00:09:08,719
You know, if I took a,
uh, ride in a spaceship

191
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,721
at the speed of light for ten years,

192
00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:12,723
when I return, I'd be ten years older,

193
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:15,225
but everybody else here
would be 80 years older.

194
00:09:15,226 --> 00:09:16,727
Now, do you realize

195
00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:19,229
the ramifications of that?

196
00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:21,733
Yeah, for once you'd be the
best player on our softball team.

197
00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:26,237
I just can't discuss science with you.

198
00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:27,738
Cliffie, Cliffie...

199
00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:29,741
Give me a break. W-Wait!

200
00:09:31,242 --> 00:09:32,242
Carla!

201
00:09:32,243 --> 00:09:34,244
Nick.

202
00:09:34,245 --> 00:09:35,629
Long time, no see.

203
00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:37,498
You do somethin' to your hair?

204
00:09:37,499 --> 00:09:38,999
No.

205
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,001
Think about it.

206
00:09:42,504 --> 00:09:45,005
Nick, be a cannibal.

207
00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:47,391
Eat a rat.

208
00:09:47,392 --> 00:09:49,893
The magic is still there, Carla.

209
00:09:49,894 --> 00:09:51,762
Whatever happened between us?

210
00:09:51,763 --> 00:09:54,181
You lied, you cheated,
you neglected the kids,

211
00:09:54,182 --> 00:09:56,683
you never came home,
and you drank too much.

212
00:09:56,684 --> 00:09:58,186
Nah. It'd have to be more than that.

213
00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:05,860
Say the word, blondie,
and we can happen.

214
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:15,669
I'd rather be the love toy
of a Greek army battalion.

215
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,172
Who wouldn't?

216
00:10:19,174 --> 00:10:21,542
But dreaming gets you nowhere.

217
00:10:21,543 --> 00:10:22,926
Nicky!

218
00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:24,428
Loretta.

219
00:10:24,429 --> 00:10:25,929
I've decided to forgive you

220
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:29,800
for bursting in on me and
Miss Romero in the shower.

221
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,719
I'm sorry, Nicky.

222
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:34,221
You oughta be. It was very embarrassing.

223
00:10:34,222 --> 00:10:35,222
Let's go home.

224
00:10:35,223 --> 00:10:36,440
Okay.

225
00:10:36,441 --> 00:10:37,774
Be strong.

226
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:39,276
I mean...

227
00:10:39,277 --> 00:10:41,145
No.

228
00:10:44,699 --> 00:10:47,067
That sounded negative to me.

229
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:49,486
I'm here for you.

230
00:10:49,487 --> 00:10:51,989
I'm not going home with you.

231
00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:52,990
I'm leaving you, Nick.

232
00:10:52,991 --> 00:10:53,991
Uh...

233
00:10:53,992 --> 00:10:55,993
get-g-get in the
car, sugar lump.

234
00:10:55,994 --> 00:10:57,244
Don't make me mad now.

235
00:10:57,245 --> 00:10:58,545
Hey, Nick, why don't
you leave her alone?

236
00:10:58,546 --> 00:11:00,547
Uh, Sam, she's coming home with me.

237
00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:03,917
Uh, in case you have forgotten,
she is my, uh, betrothed.

238
00:11:03,918 --> 00:11:06,637
She doesn't want to go
back to him. All right.

239
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:07,971
Please help her. I know. I know.

240
00:11:07,972 --> 00:11:08,973
Nick, come on. Beat it.

241
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:10,974
She doesn't want to be
around you right now.

242
00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:12,476
Eh, Sam, buddy, uh,
it is not a good thing

243
00:11:12,477 --> 00:11:13,977
for them to see us fighting here.

244
00:11:13,978 --> 00:11:15,979
Uh, these people, uh,
they look up to us.

245
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,982
Uh, we're role models.

246
00:11:19,984 --> 00:11:22,486
Then don't make me ask again.

247
00:11:22,487 --> 00:11:24,489
Okay, okay, I'm not looking for trouble.

248
00:11:24,989 --> 00:11:26,356
Eh, but mark my words.

249
00:11:26,357 --> 00:11:29,159
Eh, I'm coming back for my woman.

250
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,661
Oh, Sam,

251
00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:32,029
you stood up for me.

252
00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:34,364
Nobody's ever done that for me before.

253
00:11:34,365 --> 00:11:35,365
Oh.

254
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:37,367
Sam, I'm aghast.

255
00:11:37,368 --> 00:11:38,669
What?

256
00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:40,120
You of all people?!

257
00:11:40,121 --> 00:11:42,623
Have you no respect
for our blessed union?

258
00:11:42,624 --> 00:11:44,541
Oh, come on, Nick.

259
00:11:44,542 --> 00:11:46,043
There's nothing going on here.

260
00:11:46,044 --> 00:11:47,544
I'm not interested in Loretta.

261
00:11:47,545 --> 00:11:49,429
Uh, I got one thing to say to you, Sam.

262
00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:52,933
Two can play the same game.

263
00:11:52,934 --> 00:11:55,436
You took my woman...

264
00:11:58,940 --> 00:12:01,943
I'm gonna take yours.

265
00:12:02,226 --> 00:12:03,810
Me?

266
00:12:03,811 --> 00:12:04,811
You're taking me?

267
00:12:04,812 --> 00:12:07,314
The only thing you should be taking

268
00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:09,317
is penicillin.

269
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:12,786
This is great.

270
00:12:12,787 --> 00:12:14,154
Nick is gonna cast

271
00:12:14,155 --> 00:12:15,989
a love spell on Miss Goody Two Shoes,

272
00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:17,874
and I get to watch.

273
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:20,661
Actually, I'm not gonna make
my romantic approach tonight.

274
00:12:20,662 --> 00:12:22,913
It's getting too late for that.

275
00:12:22,914 --> 00:12:27,719
Ah, yes, goodness... look at the time.

276
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:33,890
Time.

277
00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:37,394
Time to lay back.

278
00:12:37,395 --> 00:12:42,265
Time to forget your inhibitions.

279
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,851
This is diabolical.

280
00:12:44,852 --> 00:12:46,687
From this day forward,

281
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:49,189
there will be nobody for you but me.

282
00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:51,191
You will fall hopelessly in love

283
00:12:51,192 --> 00:12:55,196
and follow me to the ends of the earth.

284
00:12:56,698 --> 00:13:00,952
Oh, yeah... and bring a six-pack.

285
00:13:04,789 --> 00:13:06,289
God, the man is insane to think

286
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:07,541
that anyone would be

287
00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:10,878
gullible enough to fall
for that idiotic nonsense.

288
00:13:33,819 --> 00:13:38,324
? Mr. Sandman,
bring me a dream.?

289
00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:41,291
Thank you, thank you.

290
00:13:41,292 --> 00:13:43,796
You've been a wonderful audience.

291
00:13:45,296 --> 00:13:46,297
Expecting someone, Diane?

292
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:49,300
No, not really.

293
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,801
Sure you are.

294
00:13:50,802 --> 00:13:52,804
He's out there somewhere.

295
00:13:52,805 --> 00:13:54,805
Waiting.

296
00:13:54,806 --> 00:13:57,809
I've heard so much about
Nick Tortelli's magic,

297
00:13:57,810 --> 00:13:59,309
but it's been a week,

298
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:01,813
and I haven't seen any evidence of it.

299
00:14:01,814 --> 00:14:03,314
Don't you see what he's doing?

300
00:14:03,315 --> 00:14:04,314
It's all part of his plan.

301
00:14:04,315 --> 00:14:06,317
You know, like when the drums stop

302
00:14:06,318 --> 00:14:07,819
in a jungle movie?

303
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:13,325
You sit and wonder...
what are the natives doing?

304
00:14:13,825 --> 00:14:17,328
And then you start to sweat.

305
00:14:17,329 --> 00:14:18,830
He's a genius.

306
00:14:25,336 --> 00:14:26,838
Woody, I refuse to continue playing

307
00:14:26,839 --> 00:14:29,340
if every time you take
one of my pieces, you go...

308
00:14:32,243 --> 00:14:33,844
I'm sorry, Dr. Crane; I thought it added

309
00:14:33,845 --> 00:14:34,847
a little bit of excitement to the game.

310
00:14:35,347 --> 00:14:36,849
Well, it doesn't!

311
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,852
Okay, Woody.

312
00:14:40,853 --> 00:14:43,854
You know, I think it's
time we took off the gloves.

313
00:14:43,855 --> 00:14:45,723
I have allowed you

314
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:47,474
to defeat me several times

315
00:14:47,475 --> 00:14:49,477
because I was going easy on you,

316
00:14:49,478 --> 00:14:52,479
so as not to crush
your natural enthusiasm.

317
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,364
But I think it's time

318
00:14:54,365 --> 00:14:56,733
you took a giant step toward maturity.

319
00:14:56,734 --> 00:15:00,237
There are a great many lessons
to be learned in defeat.

320
00:15:00,238 --> 00:15:02,740
Chief among them is
how to lose gracefully.

321
00:15:05,743 --> 00:15:06,744
Checkmate.

322
00:15:08,747 --> 00:15:10,748
You missed my king.

323
00:15:14,969 --> 00:15:16,722
Dr. Crane!

324
00:15:21,926 --> 00:15:23,394
Good night, Loretta.

325
00:15:23,395 --> 00:15:24,897
Thanks, Sam. Mm-hmm.

326
00:15:25,897 --> 00:15:29,901
Never again does she sing in this bar.

327
00:15:29,902 --> 00:15:31,903
Yes, dear.

328
00:15:35,239 --> 00:15:36,741
You know, Sammy,

329
00:15:36,742 --> 00:15:38,243
I know you kind of like Diane.

330
00:15:39,744 --> 00:15:41,245
But you're gonna have to face it.

331
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:43,247
She's his now.

332
00:15:43,248 --> 00:15:44,748
Oh, come on, will you stop it?

333
00:15:44,749 --> 00:15:46,250
I mean, Nick and Diane...

334
00:15:46,251 --> 00:15:48,118
they don't even belong
on the same planet.

335
00:15:48,119 --> 00:15:50,420
The guy doesn't have any table manners.

336
00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:52,674
I mean, he thinks he's
God's gift to women.

337
00:15:52,675 --> 00:15:55,459
And when was the last time
he even picked up a book?

338
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,712
How's that different from you, Sam?

339
00:15:57,713 --> 00:16:01,015
All right, there's a big difference...

340
00:16:01,016 --> 00:16:02,434
there's a big difference

341
00:16:02,935 --> 00:16:05,937
between thinking you're
God's gift and knowing it.

342
00:16:09,778 --> 00:16:11,858
You know, Sammy, I, uh,
think Nick is getting to you.

343
00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:13,861
Why? You think I'm worried about this?

344
00:16:13,862 --> 00:16:15,862
Are you kidding? Uh-huh,
well, look at this.

345
00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:17,864
You added these receipts all wrong.

346
00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:20,367
I did not. Then you're saying

347
00:16:20,368 --> 00:16:22,786
we took in $32 million tonight?

348
00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:25,790
Well, there was that party of
ten in the corner table there.

349
00:16:25,791 --> 00:16:28,292
Yeah. I'm gonna go add
these on the machine, okay?

350
00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:29,794
Yeah, maybe you better.

351
00:16:29,795 --> 00:16:31,295
Uh...

352
00:16:31,296 --> 00:16:32,797
Diane, I'm going to go home now

353
00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:35,300
and watch the, uh, last
half of the Celtics game.

354
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:36,800
All right?

355
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:38,669
Okay, Sam.

356
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:39,721
See you in the morning.

357
00:16:39,722 --> 00:16:42,506
Okay. I'll be dreaming of you.

358
00:16:42,507 --> 00:16:46,011
I'll be dreaming of me, too.

359
00:16:51,016 --> 00:16:52,517
Closing!

360
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,535
Good evening, Miss Chambers.

361
00:17:10,536 --> 00:17:14,505
Nick, you had better be here to tell me

362
00:17:14,506 --> 00:17:18,926
that you've given up your
quest to win my favor.

363
00:17:18,927 --> 00:17:21,461
Please, Miss Chambers,

364
00:17:21,462 --> 00:17:25,968
this is for you and you alone, my sweet.

365
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:42,984
God, you've got to be kidding!

366
00:17:42,985 --> 00:17:45,903
In matters of amore,
Nick Tortelli never kids.

367
00:17:45,904 --> 00:17:47,238
Sit.

368
00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,457
I am not a dog.

369
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:50,740
Of course you're not.

370
00:17:50,741 --> 00:17:52,621
You think I'd spend this
kinda dough on an ug-o?

371
00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:55,413
Now, come on.

372
00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:58,916
We have a night of magic ahead of us.

373
00:17:58,917 --> 00:18:00,802
Let us commence.

374
00:18:00,803 --> 00:18:04,589
Nick, there will be no
dinner, no magic, no us.

375
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:06,841
You and I have to talk.

376
00:18:06,842 --> 00:18:09,677
Now, please, sit down.

377
00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:11,680
Okay.

378
00:18:22,106 --> 00:18:27,111
Nick... will you give up on me?

379
00:18:27,112 --> 00:18:29,113
You and I are an impossibility.

380
00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:33,501
The only thing you instill
in me is the desire to flee.

381
00:18:35,337 --> 00:18:38,340
And then to be de-flea'd.

382
00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:45,346
I'm sensing that, uh, we're not
gonna hit the sheets together.

383
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,350
That is correct.

384
00:18:49,351 --> 00:18:50,719
Save it!

385
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,222
Why are you wasting your time on this?

386
00:18:55,223 --> 00:18:56,691
Loretta's the woman for you.

387
00:18:56,692 --> 00:18:59,610
She's spending all of her time with Sam.

388
00:18:59,611 --> 00:19:02,613
Women can't get their
eyes off of that guy.

389
00:19:02,614 --> 00:19:05,115
I guess, in his own
way, he's good-looking.

390
00:19:05,116 --> 00:19:11,123
Oh, Nick, you're every bit
as... mistaken as you can be.

391
00:19:12,991 --> 00:19:15,493
Sam and Loretta are not an item.

392
00:19:15,494 --> 00:19:16,994
Sam is mine.

393
00:19:16,995 --> 00:19:17,913
So, why don't you

394
00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:19,881
do something decent for once

395
00:19:19,882 --> 00:19:22,383
and go back and make your marriage work?

396
00:19:22,384 --> 00:19:24,335
Get up, get up, get up!

397
00:19:24,336 --> 00:19:25,219
What's going on here?

398
00:19:25,220 --> 00:19:27,673
Surprise!

399
00:19:32,344 --> 00:19:36,346
I just came because I
forgot my... my charts.

400
00:19:36,347 --> 00:19:37,347
Is this all for me?

401
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:38,849
Of course it's for you.

402
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,852
It's my attempt to win
you back into my heart.

403
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:43,854
Isn't that right, Miss Chambers?

404
00:19:43,855 --> 00:19:45,239
Oh, yes, yes.

405
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,658
He's really a sweet
guy, isn't he, Loretta?

406
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:49,160
He sure is.

407
00:19:49,161 --> 00:19:50,528
Yeah. If he

408
00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:51,529
weren't already taken,

409
00:19:52,029 --> 00:19:53,413
I'd snap him up for myself.

410
00:19:53,414 --> 00:19:56,334
Well, I'll leave you
two lovebirds alone.

411
00:19:56,335 --> 00:19:58,836
I'm just going in the
back to freshen up.

412
00:19:58,837 --> 00:20:01,339
I'll be out of here
in just a few minutes.

413
00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:04,343
I really like that Debbie.

414
00:20:06,845 --> 00:20:12,850
Uh... Loretta, if I have
caused you, uh, any heartache,

415
00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:13,852
I want to say I'm sorry.

416
00:20:14,353 --> 00:20:16,354
But I really do love you,
and I know you love me,

417
00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:19,606
and it's crazy for
us not to be together.

418
00:20:19,607 --> 00:20:22,894
You're the only woman on Earth for me.

419
00:20:23,394 --> 00:20:26,697
How come the cake says "Nick and Diane"?

420
00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:28,649
Excuse me?

421
00:20:28,650 --> 00:20:32,536
How come the cake says "Nick and Diane"?

422
00:20:32,537 --> 00:20:35,406
You know what a lousy speller I am.

423
00:20:35,407 --> 00:20:38,910
Oh, right.

424
00:20:42,831 --> 00:20:46,835
But, wait, that's pretty bad.

425
00:20:51,222 --> 00:20:54,091
This wasn't for me after all, was it?

426
00:20:54,092 --> 00:20:56,393
This was for some girl named Diane!

427
00:20:56,394 --> 00:20:57,894
No!

428
00:20:57,895 --> 00:20:59,313
It's no use.

429
00:20:59,314 --> 00:21:02,317
We're through forever.

430
00:21:04,819 --> 00:21:08,190
If you ever need a singer,
I'm available for any gig.

431
00:21:10,575 --> 00:21:12,577
Cut it!

432
00:21:14,078 --> 00:21:15,329
Nick.

433
00:21:15,330 --> 00:21:18,165
Carla!

434
00:21:20,836 --> 00:21:24,087
What's all this?

435
00:21:24,088 --> 00:21:26,375
This is for you, my sweet.

436
00:21:28,293 --> 00:21:30,294
All this is for me?

437
00:21:30,295 --> 00:21:31,796
Yeah. And if this

438
00:21:31,797 --> 00:21:34,766
is not an attempt at reconciliation,

439
00:21:35,267 --> 00:21:37,268
uh, I don't know what is.

440
00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:38,769
This is.

441
00:21:41,773 --> 00:21:43,775
You don't believe me?

442
00:21:46,278 --> 00:21:48,278
Whose lipstick is on the glass?

443
00:21:48,279 --> 00:21:52,283
What? I'm gonna have
the caterer flogged.

444
00:21:52,284 --> 00:21:53,534
Right, Nick.

445
00:21:53,535 --> 00:21:55,871
I hope you guys got your money up front.

446
00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:05,247
Nick?

447
00:22:09,668 --> 00:22:12,670
Diane. Diane, look how fate once again

448
00:22:12,671 --> 00:22:15,672
has brought us together this evening.

449
00:22:15,673 --> 00:22:18,677
Uh, excuse me if I don't get up for you.

450
00:22:20,562 --> 00:22:22,145
Where's Loretta?

451
00:22:22,146 --> 00:22:23,431
Uh, I don't know.

452
00:22:23,432 --> 00:22:25,432
She, uh, she got up and ran out on me.

453
00:22:25,433 --> 00:22:27,817
Uh, apparently, she
didn't like the cake.

454
00:22:27,818 --> 00:22:29,769
Nick, do yourself a favor.

455
00:22:29,770 --> 00:22:33,774
Get up out of that chair,
march out that door...

456
00:22:33,775 --> 00:22:35,160
Do you mind?

457
00:22:36,161 --> 00:22:38,996
March out that door,

458
00:22:38,997 --> 00:22:41,999
find your wife, take her in your arms,

459
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,002
sweep her up off her
feet, and tell her that

460
00:22:45,504 --> 00:22:49,006
"if our hearts cannot be
as one for all eternity,

461
00:22:49,007 --> 00:22:51,509
life will have lost all meaning."

462
00:22:51,510 --> 00:22:52,877
Okay, I'll do that.

463
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:56,380
That's it, boys. You're off the clock.

464
00:22:56,381 --> 00:22:57,883
Find your own ways home.

465
00:22:59,634 --> 00:23:01,470
Loretta!

466
00:23:06,223 --> 00:23:08,727
Did I miss something here?

467
00:23:09,728 --> 00:23:13,230
Men. They are so stupid.

468
00:23:13,231 --> 00:23:14,731
What are you

469
00:23:14,732 --> 00:23:16,233
doing here?

470
00:23:16,234 --> 00:23:18,235
Oh, well, I thought
it was more important

471
00:23:18,236 --> 00:23:19,236
for me to be here with you

472
00:23:19,237 --> 00:23:21,739
than watching some silly
old basketball game.

473
00:23:21,740 --> 00:23:24,241
Your TV's broken? Yeah.

474
00:23:27,129 --> 00:23:29,547
This whole thing is so
sad, really very sad.

475
00:23:29,548 --> 00:23:30,914
Oh, that's all right.

476
00:23:30,915 --> 00:23:32,799
It's under warranty.

477
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,052
It'll be okay.

478
00:23:35,053 --> 00:23:38,339
No, I'm talking about life.

479
00:23:38,340 --> 00:23:39,722
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

480
00:23:39,723 --> 00:23:43,093
How a good woman can make all
the difference in the world,

481
00:23:43,094 --> 00:23:46,480
and yet men are constantly
letting them slip away.

482
00:23:46,481 --> 00:23:48,150
Mm...

483
00:23:50,936 --> 00:23:53,938
I hope you don't let that happen to you

484
00:23:53,939 --> 00:23:56,323
and a certain flaxen-haired beauty

485
00:23:56,324 --> 00:23:58,776
in your life.

486
00:23:58,777 --> 00:23:59,777
Don't worry.

487
00:23:59,778 --> 00:24:01,663
I won't.