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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

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00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,058
...of J.J. Mikes.

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Party till dawn on the Big W.

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Tired of your old job?

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Looking for something new and exciting?

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Then how about a career
as a court stenographer?

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Through a simple six-week course

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at the Emory School
of Court Stenography,

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you'll learn all the skills required

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to become part of this
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earn top money.

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All it takes is a good
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Contact the Emory School
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for your free aptitude test

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by calling 5-double-5-6-1-1-9.

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That number again:

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To have an exciting career
in court stenography,

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just call 5-double-5-6-1-1-9,

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now. 5-5-5-6...

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You're listening to the
rockin' sounds of J.J. Mikes.

22
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But first, let's take a look at
tomorrow's weather...

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♪ Making your way in the world today ♪

24
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♪ Takes everything you've got ♪

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♪ Taking a break from all your worries ♪

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♪ Sure would help a lot ♪

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♪ Wouldn't you like to get away♪ ♪

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♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪

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♪ Where everybody knows your name ♪

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♪ And they're always glad you came ♪

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♪ You want to be where you can see ♪

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♪ Our troubles are all the same ♪

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♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪

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♪ You want to go where people know ♪

35
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♪ People are all the same ♪

36
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♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪

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Of all the stinkin', dirty, rotten,

38
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maggot-sucking,
vermin-infested stinkweeds!

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Practicing for that Mother of
the Year speech again, Carla?

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Shut up!

41
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What seems to be the problem?

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I've been planning my Elvis pilgrimage

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to Memphis for weeks, and
now Nick is backing out

44
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of taking care of the kids.

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He says his appendix burst.

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Well, that seems serious to me.

47
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His appendix bursts
every time I need a favor.

48
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Boy, if he was smart,
he'd have that removed.

49
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Hello, one and all.

50
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Hello.

51
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How are you, love of my life? Just fine,

52
00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,148
pain in my neck.

53
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The most exciting thing has happened.

54
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You'll never guess.

55
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I got a letter

56
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from Syzygy.

57
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Stop it! Yeah!

58
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All right, all right, who's Syzygy?

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It's not a who... it's
a new literary review,

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dedicated to publishing
the prose and poetry

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that's right on the cutting edge.

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Well, I, for one, am
excited for you, Diane.

63
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Ah, there, it passed.

64
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Oh... let-let me have a look at it.

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What does the letter say?

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Well, I submitted one of my poems

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for publication, and quite honestly,

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I was overwhelmed by the response.

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It was more than I could
ever have hoped for.

70
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But I blush. Read it.

71
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It speaks for itself.

72
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Oh, uh...

73
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this is a rejection letter.

74
00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:57,955
It's not a rejection letter per se.

75
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It's a "soon and inevitably
to be accepted" letter.

76
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,828
Listen to this.

77
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:08,298
"Your work is not
entirely without promise."

78
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They're almost begging
for another submission.

79
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Boy, you know, I...

80
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I hope you don't get your
hopes up there too high,

81
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,843
because that looks like
a form letter to me.

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Poor Sam.

83
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This really threatens you, doesn't it?

84
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Let me assure you that I can heed

85
00:04:25,983 --> 00:04:28,485
my man as well as my muse.

86
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Syzygy would not even have
bothered to respond to my letter

87
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if they hadn't perceived me as
an up-and-coming literary talent.

88
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You know, this is just like you.

89
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You-you turn every
defeat into a victory.

90
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It's like the time when I said

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that I didn't want to see you anymore,

92
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and you all of a sudden
start making wedding plans.

93
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Sam, we can talk about the
wedding later... I have work to do.

94
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You know, I bet I could, uh,
send a poem to that magazine

95
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and get the same letter
back that you did.

96
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Oh, Sam, you don't want to write a poem.

97
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Poetry is very, very difficult.

98
00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:05,772
What's the big deal? All
you got to do is rhyme.

99
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:09,442
Most great modern poetry

100
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,227
doesn't necessarily have to rhyme.

101
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Well, that's even easier, isn't it?

102
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:18,234
Fine. Fine, fine, fine.

103
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Go ahead, write your little poem.

104
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You don't think I can
even write a stupid poem.

105
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Of course you can.

106
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Don't forget to capitalize
the first letter.

107
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I'm gonna do this.

108
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I'm gonna show you that I can
be as much of a reject as you.

109
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I told you, I was not rejected.

110
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Whatever. Now, if you'll excuse me,

111
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I have a little creating to do.

112
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Coffee...

113
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Any of you guys
know how to write poetry?

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Uh, I know how to make fun of 'em.

115
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No.

116
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Great, Nick. That's wonderful.

117
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You're not as much of a scum
bucket as I thought you were.

118
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No, that's not an
attempt at reconciliation.

119
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Hey, Nick's gonna take care of the kids.

120
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Graceland, here I come.

121
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Hey, all right. Hey, all right.

122
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Didn't you go to Graceland last year?

123
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:27,137
Yeah, but this is special...
I mean, how many times

124
00:06:27,138 --> 00:06:29,639
does the tenth anniversary
of Elvis's death roll around?

125
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,027
Don't ask me. I wasn't a fan.

126
00:06:37,281 --> 00:06:39,282
Hi, Sam.

127
00:06:39,283 --> 00:06:41,284
Hello.

128
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Sam, have you received
that rejection letter

129
00:06:44,288 --> 00:06:45,789
for your poem yet?

130
00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:48,124
No, I haven't.

131
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Hmm.

132
00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:53,880
The letter I received
arrived within two weeks

133
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,632
of my submission, and here it is,

134
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:58,301
three weeks, and nothing for you.

135
00:06:58,302 --> 00:07:00,670
Isn't that odd?

136
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,672
Odd.

137
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,674
What's this?

138
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,478
It's that magazine you
couldn't get your poetry into.

139
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,898
Thank you, Woody.

140
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,851
I mean, what is it doing here?

141
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,354
Well, I decided if
I'm gonna try to write,

142
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:20,356
I might as well read
some of that poetry stuff.

143
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,359
Sam, that's very commendable.

144
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,861
I didn't realize

145
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,363
the new issue was out.
Yeah, it's not bad, either.

146
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,115
They got one I really like.

147
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,451
Page 37, I believe.

148
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,453
Yeah, read it out loud.

149
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,455
It'd be good for me to hear.

150
00:07:35,456 --> 00:07:36,457
All right.

151
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,844
"Nocturne" by Sam Mal... oh!

152
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,560
Now... ooh, Diane, come on, please,

153
00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,446
books are our friends.

154
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,734
The page is 37 there.

155
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,736
Yes, thank you. Yeah.

156
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:09,738
Well...

157
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:13,742
Diane Chambers is nothing
if not open-minded.

158
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,744
Perhaps you...

159
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,129
you do have some

160
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,581
spark of talent.

161
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:19,465
They published your poem, huh?

162
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,916
All right!

163
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,418
Hey, don't let it get out, though,

164
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,419
that I'm a sensitive guy.

165
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,304
Oh, yeah, yeah!

166
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,307
Hey, Sammy!

167
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:33,145
Very well, I've arrived
at my objective opinion.

168
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,814
All right. This is one of the most...

169
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:38,651
amateurish, hackneyed,
odious pieces of effluvium

170
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,520
ever to wash down the pike.

171
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,023
Listen to this drivel.

172
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,943
"I fly through a puckish arena,

173
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,945
"where echoes dance, where echoes dance,

174
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,449
where echoes dance..."

175
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,334
This sounds familiar.

176
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,671
Well, you said it three times.

177
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,042
This poem is plagiarized.

178
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,460
Oh, now I stole it?

179
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,962
And a minute ago, you said it stunk.

180
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:07,963
It does stink.

181
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,882
Leave it to you to not have the sense

182
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,383
to steal something worthwhile.

183
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,768
Aw, you know, I realize

184
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,137
that it's tough to
have somebody come along

185
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,639
and swipe your dreams of glory,

186
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,024
so I will not take
offense at that remark.

187
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,477
That poem is fraudulent,

188
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,113
and I intend to find its true source,

189
00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:26,900
even if I have to search through
every greeting card to do so.

190
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:32,655
Believe me, Sam Malone, I
will not rest until today,

191
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:34,990
the blackest day in the
history of literature,

192
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,376
is blotted out for all eternity.

193
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,662
Diane, I think you're
getting overexcited.

194
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,547
Uh, why don't you just calm down?

195
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,165
I tell you, I've just come

196
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,466
from my Coping With Anxiety Group,

197
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:45,968
and I have just the trick.

198
00:09:45,969 --> 00:09:48,220
Now, here.

199
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,661
Put this over your head and breathe.

200
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,344
I assure you, I am in complete control.

201
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:58,314
I think the bag's a good idea anyhow.

202
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:05,854
It's been proven time and time again

203
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,857
that reincarnation breaks no
physical laws as we know 'em.

204
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:11,360
You know, I was thinking
about this the other day,

205
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,862
and, uh, I think in my next life

206
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:17,249
I'd like to come back as
the president of France.

207
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,034
Why is that, Wood?

208
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,539
Well, I think it'd attract
a lot of business to the bar.

209
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,796
Coffee, Woody.

210
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,049
Oh, sure thing, Miss Chambers.

211
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,935
I'll take the pot.

212
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,606
Say, what's with Diane there?

213
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,275
She's still
searching for Sam's poem.

214
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,728
Dr. Crane, I think you
ought to talk to her.

215
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,230
I mean, all she does
is read, read, read.

216
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,617
I bet she goes through a book a week.

217
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:57,956
Uh...

218
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,792
Diane, uh,

219
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,660
Diane, you don't smoke.

220
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,163
What's your point?

221
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,168
Hey, there!

222
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,172
Still looking for that poem, huh?

223
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,425
I'm sure it's a post-war piece.

224
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,227
It's not British. The syntax is wrong.

225
00:11:18,228 --> 00:11:21,146
I have a hunch it might be regional.

226
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:23,565
You may not believe this, but, uh,

227
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:25,567
I do sympathize with you.

228
00:11:25,568 --> 00:11:27,319
It's not easy

229
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,105
to watch those people you scoffed at

230
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:34,109
run past you while you
remain stuck in the mud

231
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,995
like a weighted-down elephant.

232
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,415
Made that up.

233
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,919
Does this mean that
you've stopped trying

234
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,921
to get your poetry published?

235
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,422
Not at all.

236
00:11:47,423 --> 00:11:48,924
Oh...

237
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,927
I'm diligently producing new work.

238
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,428
Well, that-that's good.

239
00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:56,431
Uh, I'd love to talk to you about it.

240
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:58,300
Uh, how's it goin', Diane?

241
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,636
Would you like to know how it's going?

242
00:12:00,637 --> 00:12:01,638
Yeah.

243
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,142
This is how it's going.

244
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,143
I'm totally blocked.

245
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,645
I can't write another word.

246
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,946
Hmm.

247
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,782
"Hurricane of Wills," unfinished.

248
00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:18,287
"The Death of a Shallow
Man," unfinished.

249
00:12:18,288 --> 00:12:23,792
"A Bartender Dismembered,"

250
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:24,661
unfinished.

251
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:30,999
I suffer failure after
failure while you, a despoiler

252
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:31,917
of the English language

253
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,420
are lionized in front of the world.

254
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,427
That's how it's going.

255
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,429
Well, maybe this little literary chat

256
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,431
wasn't such a good idea.

257
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,934
Wanna make out?

258
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,688
Well...

259
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,691
Make out?

260
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,192
Diane, now listen, uh, listen,

261
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,194
I think the joke's gone
far enough, don't you?

262
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,196
You haven't eaten a
decent meal in a week.

263
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,448
You're living off of
cigarettes and coffee.

264
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,783
I mean, for God's sake,

265
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,170
this little literary magazine's
circulation must be what, 600.

266
00:13:08,171 --> 00:13:09,621
That's just the beginning.

267
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,007
You see,

268
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:15,761
the original 600 readers
drop their copies on buses,

269
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:20,048
in taxicabs and doctors' offices.

270
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,050
And another 600 people pick them up

271
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,052
and take them to the airport,

272
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,938
where they go all over the country.

273
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,774
And then they get taken
on international flights.

274
00:13:28,775 --> 00:13:30,726
Tierra del Fuego, Sierra Leone;

275
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,611
All the remotest parts of the world.

276
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,280
And soon, I defy you to find me a house,

277
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:38,233
a hut, an igloo or a wickiup

278
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,738
that doesn't have a
copy on the coffee table.

279
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,122
Diane...

280
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,123
And then, then, then

281
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,575
everyone in the world,

282
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:50,462
every living thing
will be laughing at me!

283
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:54,250
Because he got published, and I did not!

284
00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,553
Hi, everybody, I'm back!

285
00:13:58,554 --> 00:14:00,555
Hey, Carla!

286
00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:02,057
How was the trip?

287
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:06,061
Greatest vacation I have
ever taken in my life.

288
00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,563
Graceland does not disappoint.

289
00:14:08,564 --> 00:14:11,433
And to commemorate the
special anniversary,

290
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:14,269
I had this picture
taken of me and Elvis.

291
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,271
Oh, look at that.

292
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,272
How do they do that?

293
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,157
They use cardboard cutouts.

294
00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:22,912
Wow, you know, you look
almost lifelike here.

295
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,835
So do you, Woody.

296
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,621
Woody, more coffee.

297
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,374
Okay, Miss Chambers.

298
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,260
I've got something to cheer ya up.

299
00:14:38,261 --> 00:14:40,679
I sent in a poem to
that magazine of yours.

300
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:45,467
Oh, my God, don't tell me
that they published yours, too?

301
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,804
No, I got one of your

302
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,308
"soon and inevitably
to be accepted" letters.

303
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:59,231
Huh? That's pretty exciting.

304
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,233
Oh, my God.

305
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,902
Sam was right.

306
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,540
Sam the Bard.

307
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,746
It was a form letter all along.

308
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:18,583
We two were sent a
condescending form letter.

309
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,586
I'm framing mine.

310
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,402
Hi.

311
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:39,906
You okay?

312
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,775
You win, Sam.

313
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,079
I've struggled so hard for so long

314
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,998
to keep my dreams alive,

315
00:15:49,999 --> 00:15:52,367
and I haven't fooled anyone but myself.

316
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:56,671
I know all along you all considered me

317
00:15:56,672 --> 00:16:01,343
a pretentious, self-deluded windbag

318
00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:05,347
and apparently, you've all been right.

319
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:08,850
I'm never going to be Diane
Chambers, the great poet,

320
00:16:08,851 --> 00:16:10,769
the world-famous novelist,

321
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,972
the revered artist.

322
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,976
I've gone as high as I'm going to go.

323
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,229
I'm a waitress in a beer hall...

324
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,701
...and not a very good one.

325
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,789
A waitress.

326
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,242
A waitress.

327
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,245
A waitress.

328
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,997
Miss,

329
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,166
could you take our order?

330
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:47,472
Come on. Let's go have
a talk in my office.

331
00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:48,974
Come on.

332
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,476
Sweetheart?

333
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,438
Okay, come on, sweetheart. Come on.

334
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,942
Sit in the big chair there.

335
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,449
Okay, I have something,
uh, I have to say here.

336
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,251
And, uh, I just want you to promise

337
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,620
before I say it

338
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,373
that you, uh, won't go crazy.

339
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,674
Don't worry.

340
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,176
I've hit rock bottom.

341
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,678
I have no emotions left.

342
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:30,682
Oh, all right. Um...

343
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:35,054
I, uh, I did copy that poem.

344
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,724
You are scum.

345
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:44,446
I tried to make one up
myself, but I-I just couldn't,

346
00:17:44,447 --> 00:17:47,065
and so I-I copied one.

347
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,985
I never thought it would
be published, I promise.

348
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:54,207
What could you possibly
have been thinking of, Sam?

349
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,742
It obviously had been
published to begin with.

350
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,629
No, no, no, it hadn't.

351
00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,297
Well, then please tell me.

352
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,082
I think you owe me that much.

353
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,467
Where did it come from?

354
00:18:05,468 --> 00:18:09,387
Well, actually, it,
uh, came from a letter

355
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:12,892
that you wrote to me.

356
00:18:16,812 --> 00:18:18,647
One of my letters?

357
00:18:18,648 --> 00:18:20,432
Mm-hmm.

358
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,434
And when you didn't
recognize it out there,

359
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,437
I decided to play it out,

360
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:29,324
and rub your smug little nose in it.

361
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:33,412
I'm sorry. I probably went too far.

362
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:39,367
Oh, my God, it's one of mine.

363
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:43,339
How could I not recognize
this exquisite fluidity?

364
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,760
The characteristic Chambers' grace

365
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,511
in the face of hard imagery?

366
00:18:49,512 --> 00:18:51,930
Come on. You told me that it stunk.

367
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,717
Sam, I'm a poet, not a critic.

368
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,553
Oh...

369
00:18:58,554 --> 00:18:59,554
I'm published!

370
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,556
Yeah!

371
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,557
I'm published!

372
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,059
Oh, this is so exciting!

373
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,529
This is like... like
the first time I ever...

374
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:10,031
rode a bicycle.

375
00:19:10,032 --> 00:19:11,950
Oh, this is great.

376
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:12,951
You're-you're not mad.

377
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,238
Mad? I'm elated.

378
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,623
Hey, all... I'm elated, too.

379
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:22,127
Oh, what a glorious day.

380
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,130
I'm going to go do what poets do...

381
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,582
...drink myself stinky.

382
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,922
Wait a minute.

383
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,424
This always happens.

384
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,929
You always squirm out of
these things unscathed.

385
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,764
You did a terrible thing!

386
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,599
I know it.

387
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,569
No, you don't.

388
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:51,523
You put me through hell.

389
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,526
This time it's going to be different.

390
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,027
I'm going to make you suffer.

391
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,364
What-what're you going to do?

392
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,367
I don't know.

393
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,368
Yes, I do.

394
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,371
You're going out there
and admit to everyone

395
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,873
that you stole this poem from me.

396
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,876
Oh, come on, you mean I have to go out

397
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,880
and tell the whole bar
that I'm not a poet?

398
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:17,766
You sure do, mister.

399
00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:19,518
Let's go.

400
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,812
What? What? What? What? What? Mm...

401
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,318
What are you doin'?

402
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,824
Oh, yeah, I've heard about this.

403
00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,829
Mm-mm.

404
00:20:49,298 --> 00:20:53,219
You wanna go back to my
place and ride a bike?

405
00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,225
Don't you ever, ever
again try to tell me

406
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,227
that you don't love me.

407
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,596
Oh, God, every time I think I'm about

408
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,564
to get my hedge clipped,

409
00:21:05,905 --> 00:21:07,065
you start talkin' about love,

410
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,566
and it's just not fair.

411
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,852
You saved my love letters.

412
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:14,105
I was so excited about
being a published poet,

413
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,607
it didn't sink in at first.

414
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,608
This proves it.

415
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:19,110
You love me now as you always did,

416
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,612
madly and completely.

417
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,113
Hey, wait, listen to me.

418
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,866
I did not save your letters.

419
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,867
Where did this come from?

420
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,619
I found it in my apartment.

421
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,421
I got pizza boxes that old

422
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:32,424
that have more meaning. Come on.

423
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,925
Sam Malone, look me in the eyes

424
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,927
and tell me you don't love me.

425
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:36,928
If you can do that,

426
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,432
then I have no choice
but to believe you.

427
00:21:42,351 --> 00:21:44,854
Oh, boy, I'm sorry, but...

428
00:21:46,856 --> 00:21:49,858
...I don't love you, Diane.

429
00:21:49,859 --> 00:21:51,643
Uh, I thought I did once,

430
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,645
but I was wrong.

431
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:57,148
There's nothin' goin'
on between us here.

432
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,651
I mean, it's all over.

433
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,658
Very well.

434
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,660
That was in the eyes, wasn't it?

435
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:09,661
I guess I'll go

436
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,665
before I make a bigger fool of myself.

437
00:22:40,910 --> 00:22:43,412
Aha!

438
00:22:44,413 --> 00:22:46,282
What the hell are you doing?

439
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,668
I came to catch you in a lie, and I did.

440
00:22:50,669 --> 00:22:53,172
Don't I know my darling
better than anyone else?

441
00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:57,175
Okay, so I kept some of
your letters. Big deal.

442
00:22:57,176 --> 00:22:59,177
I mean, that doesn't prove anything.

443
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,545
I mean, I got lots of junk in here.

444
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:01,346
Look at this.

445
00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:02,847
I save all sorts of things.

446
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:04,349
Look-look at that. Where is it?

447
00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:05,850
A warranty for my toaster.

448
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:07,852
Look at that, huh?

449
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:09,854
My letters.

450
00:23:09,855 --> 00:23:10,855
A ticket... here-here it is...

451
00:23:10,856 --> 00:23:13,358
a ticket to, uh, 1980 boat show.

452
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,859
Your protests only prove my point.

453
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:17,362
There, poker chips. Three poker chips.

454
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,863
You know, Sam, Each
one of these poker chips

455
00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:20,865
I was thinking. Means more
to me than your letters.

456
00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:22,867
You know when we finally
do get married, A key.

457
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:24,369
We could move to the country. A whistle.

458
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,870
Not too far away Look
at that... a whistle.

459
00:23:25,871 --> 00:23:27,372
Because I couldn't be
far from the theater.

460
00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:29,693
A double-C battery. And I know
how much you love the ocean.

461
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:32,377
Sam...

462
00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:35,130
Four paper clips.