1 00:00:03,499 --> 00:00:05,867 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:07,903 --> 00:00:10,971 Oh, no. Here comes another order. 3 00:00:13,306 --> 00:00:16,909 I need 2 martinis... 4 00:00:16,909 --> 00:00:18,876 One straight up, one over. 5 00:00:20,444 --> 00:00:22,445 Gin or... 6 00:00:22,445 --> 00:00:23,947 Vodka? 7 00:00:25,347 --> 00:00:27,249 Gin. 8 00:00:27,249 --> 00:00:29,050 Beefeaters. 9 00:00:33,053 --> 00:00:34,420 Anything else? 10 00:00:36,322 --> 00:00:38,089 Yes. 11 00:00:38,089 --> 00:00:39,424 There's something else. 12 00:00:41,058 --> 00:00:43,026 Something I need... 13 00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:44,527 Desperately. 14 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:50,531 A molson golden ale. 15 00:00:52,266 --> 00:00:54,067 Sam, you added this wrong. 16 00:00:57,169 --> 00:00:58,537 Coach... 17 00:00:58,537 --> 00:00:59,938 [Sigh] 18 00:00:59,938 --> 00:01:01,172 We were gonna kiss. 19 00:01:01,172 --> 00:01:03,040 We were? 20 00:01:04,907 --> 00:01:07,109 You mind if I do these first, Sam? 21 00:01:13,613 --> 00:01:16,182 ♪ Making the way in the world today ♪ 22 00:01:16,182 --> 00:01:19,217 ♪ takes everything you've got ♪ 23 00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:21,652 ♪ taking a break from all your worries ♪ 24 00:01:21,652 --> 00:01:25,121 ♪ sure would help a lot ♪ 25 00:01:25,121 --> 00:01:28,123 ♪ wouldn't you like to get away ♪ 26 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,093 ♪ sometimes you want to go ♪ 27 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,328 ♪ where everybody knows your name ♪ 28 00:01:38,397 --> 00:01:41,866 ♪ and they're always glad you came ♪ 29 00:01:43,167 --> 00:01:45,468 ♪ you want to be where you can see ♪ 30 00:01:45,468 --> 00:01:48,171 ♪ our troubles are all the same ♪ 31 00:01:48,171 --> 00:01:49,371 ♪ you want to be ♪ 32 00:01:49,371 --> 00:01:53,374 ♪ where everybody knows your name ♪ 33 00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:56,042 ♪ you want to go where people know ♪ 34 00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:58,477 ♪ people are all the same ♪ 35 00:01:58,477 --> 00:02:02,480 ♪ you want to go where everybody knows your name ♪ 36 00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,424 [Wham wham] 37 00:02:18,424 --> 00:02:20,025 [Wham wham] 38 00:02:20,025 --> 00:02:21,493 [Wham wham] 39 00:02:21,493 --> 00:02:24,261 [Wham wham] 40 00:02:27,163 --> 00:02:28,631 It won't budge. 41 00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,432 [Sigh] 42 00:02:30,432 --> 00:02:33,701 I think I'm gonna be pregnant for the rest of my life, 43 00:02:33,701 --> 00:02:35,969 just like it said in the yearbook. 44 00:02:39,238 --> 00:02:40,606 Stubborn little bugger, isn't he? 45 00:02:40,606 --> 00:02:42,440 You know, Sammy, 46 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,042 I think he's found out about his brothers and sisters 47 00:02:44,042 --> 00:02:47,211 and decided to stay inside, where it's safe. 48 00:02:47,211 --> 00:02:50,146 Carla, you know there's a theory 49 00:02:50,146 --> 00:02:52,014 that late-born babies are more intelligent. 50 00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:53,581 For example, I was born late. 51 00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:55,416 Hey, so was I. 52 00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:57,151 Well, it was just a theory. 53 00:02:59,119 --> 00:03:00,986 Carla, how did it happen the last time? 54 00:03:00,986 --> 00:03:02,121 Benny hill did it. 55 00:03:02,121 --> 00:03:03,288 Benny hill? 56 00:03:03,288 --> 00:03:04,722 Well, I was watchin' him on TV, 57 00:03:04,722 --> 00:03:07,324 and I was laughin' so hard, I went into labor. 58 00:03:07,324 --> 00:03:09,559 Yeah. I heard that could happen. 59 00:03:09,559 --> 00:03:11,360 Well, if laughter's what you need, 60 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,995 I have a face that makes people laugh. 61 00:03:13,995 --> 00:03:16,563 Yeah, but you got a nice personality, Diane. 62 00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,634 No. I'm going to make a funny face. 63 00:03:22,634 --> 00:03:24,236 Hmm... 64 00:03:29,272 --> 00:03:31,573 I don't think it's gonna help, but go ahead. 65 00:03:33,308 --> 00:03:35,176 Very funny. 66 00:03:35,176 --> 00:03:37,511 Hey, Sammy, let me have 2 gansetts 67 00:03:37,511 --> 00:03:40,180 for the lovely couple at the back bar, please. 68 00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:41,313 Hey, have you got yourself covered yet, kiddo? 69 00:03:41,313 --> 00:03:43,349 Oh, yeah. It's all set. 70 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:45,650 My sister's gonna fill in for me while I'm out with the baby. 71 00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:47,184 Great. Thank you. 72 00:03:47,184 --> 00:03:48,485 Which sister is this? No-neck? 73 00:03:48,485 --> 00:03:50,154 No. 74 00:03:50,154 --> 00:03:52,555 No, no, not no-neck. Another one. 75 00:03:52,555 --> 00:03:55,390 You have a sister named no-neck? 76 00:03:55,390 --> 00:03:56,757 It's her nickname. 77 00:03:56,757 --> 00:03:59,293 Everyone in my family has one. 78 00:03:59,293 --> 00:04:03,395 Just out of curiosity, Carla, what's your nickname? 79 00:04:03,395 --> 00:04:04,763 Muffin. 80 00:04:04,763 --> 00:04:07,498 You're kidding? 81 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,033 What's wrong with muffin? 82 00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:12,634 Nothing. It's just the most incredible coincidence. 83 00:04:12,634 --> 00:04:15,303 You and I have the same nickname. 84 00:04:15,303 --> 00:04:17,305 No! 85 00:04:17,305 --> 00:04:19,506 Daddy always called me his muffin 86 00:04:19,506 --> 00:04:23,376 because I was so sweet and toasty. 87 00:04:23,376 --> 00:04:27,212 Well, I'm called muffin because my brothers once stuffed yeast in my ears 88 00:04:27,212 --> 00:04:29,246 and tried to bake my face. 89 00:04:35,184 --> 00:04:38,386 Should I ask what this sister's called, or am I gonna regret it? 90 00:04:38,386 --> 00:04:41,221 Oh, no, Sammy, Annette is different than the rest of us. 91 00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:43,190 She's always been the good one. 92 00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:45,257 Well, every family has its white sheep. 93 00:04:45,257 --> 00:04:46,657 You and your sister close? 94 00:04:46,657 --> 00:04:48,759 No, no. We never spent much time together. 95 00:04:48,759 --> 00:04:51,561 I only see her when I go home for family occasions: 96 00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:54,330 Weddings, holidays, stays of execution. 97 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,432 Anyway, the thing about Annette 98 00:04:57,432 --> 00:05:00,234 is she's real shy, kind of a wallflower. 99 00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,068 She doesn't have very many friends. 100 00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,304 We'll take care of her. When are we gonna meet her? 101 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,639 Soon. I've been in labor for the last 4 minutes. 102 00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:10,774 It was my funny face, wasn't it? 103 00:05:10,774 --> 00:05:12,709 Carla, why didn't you say so? 104 00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,611 I was trying to hold out until my customers left. 105 00:05:15,611 --> 00:05:18,346 It was my last shot at a pity tip. 106 00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:20,348 Hey, hey, mail it to me. 107 00:05:20,348 --> 00:05:22,716 I'll be at St. eligius hospital... Carla tortelli. 108 00:05:22,716 --> 00:05:25,318 Enjoy your drinks while I'm under the knife. 109 00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:41,429 Hi. 110 00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:43,396 Oh, hi. 111 00:05:43,396 --> 00:05:46,765 I'm Carla's sister Annette lozupone. 112 00:05:46,765 --> 00:05:49,367 Whoa, what an interesting name. 113 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,635 How do you pronounce it? 114 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,140 Lozupone. 115 00:05:57,140 --> 00:05:59,107 Gee, just like it sounds. 116 00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:03,110 Hi, Annette. I'm Sam. 117 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:04,844 Hi. We've been waiting for you. 118 00:06:04,844 --> 00:06:07,712 I see that you already met coach. 119 00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:11,449 He must be a good worker. 120 00:06:11,449 --> 00:06:13,384 Let me introduce you around here. 121 00:06:13,384 --> 00:06:15,518 That's cliff. Annette. 122 00:06:15,518 --> 00:06:17,386 That's norm. 123 00:06:17,386 --> 00:06:19,321 This is Diane chambers. 124 00:06:19,321 --> 00:06:20,588 Annette. 125 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,423 Diane. 126 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:26,592 Well, you must hear about me from Carla all the time, huh? 127 00:06:26,592 --> 00:06:28,427 No. 128 00:06:28,427 --> 00:06:31,529 She never mentioned another waitress here? 129 00:06:31,529 --> 00:06:36,399 Oh, yes. I've heard her talk about fish-face. 130 00:06:36,399 --> 00:06:38,501 She quit. 131 00:06:40,435 --> 00:06:42,170 Nice kid, that Annette, huh? 132 00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:43,504 Yeah, she is, coach. 133 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,405 Yeah. She's cute, too, huh? 134 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,207 Cute, huh? 135 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,374 [Kiss kiss kiss] Cute. 136 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,542 You like her, there, cliffo? 137 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,311 I don't know. I just said she was cute. 138 00:06:53,311 --> 00:06:54,844 Are you gonna ask her out, huh? 139 00:06:54,844 --> 00:06:56,446 Ah! 140 00:06:56,446 --> 00:06:58,181 Come on, cliff. 141 00:06:58,181 --> 00:06:59,415 You haven't had a date in months. 142 00:06:59,415 --> 00:07:01,716 There's a simple explanation for that 143 00:07:01,716 --> 00:07:04,551 that you riffraffs probably wouldn't understand. 144 00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:07,353 I have impossibly high standards for a woman. 145 00:07:07,353 --> 00:07:10,355 Yeah. She has to like you, right? 146 00:07:12,424 --> 00:07:14,292 Excuse me, cliff. 147 00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:16,293 Get you a pad, and we'll get a tray on the other side. 148 00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:17,594 Here's a pencil, honey. 149 00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:19,495 Ok, coach, thanks. 150 00:07:23,298 --> 00:07:26,266 You know, you'd be doing her a favor if you asked her out. 151 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,701 She'd, you know, feel more comfortable. 152 00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:30,469 Yeah? Well, I don't know. Maybe, eh... 153 00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:31,804 Maybe on the way out. 154 00:07:33,571 --> 00:07:34,772 Gotta go. 155 00:07:34,772 --> 00:07:37,341 Go? Oh... So soon. 156 00:07:37,341 --> 00:07:39,442 Cliffy, the night's young, and it's your round. 157 00:07:39,442 --> 00:07:41,710 Oh, hey, sorry. I got a big day tomorrow. 158 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:45,313 They've asked me to test-drive a new postal vehicle on my route. 159 00:07:45,313 --> 00:07:47,147 How come they asked you? 160 00:07:47,147 --> 00:07:49,449 Well, I've got the best safety record in the branch, coach, 161 00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:51,217 never even been near an accident. 162 00:07:51,217 --> 00:07:53,719 Not since you were born. 163 00:07:53,719 --> 00:07:55,720 [Whistles] 164 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,421 Was that, uh... Comment 165 00:07:57,421 --> 00:07:59,423 addressed to me, Paul? 166 00:07:59,423 --> 00:08:01,590 Oh, no, cliff. It's, uh... 167 00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:03,157 If it were addressed to anybody, 168 00:08:03,157 --> 00:08:05,360 it'd probably get lost in the mail. 169 00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:12,398 If I wasn't wearing this uniform, 170 00:08:12,398 --> 00:08:15,234 I'd ask you to step outside. 171 00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:17,868 If you weren't wearing that uniform, we'd all step outside. 172 00:08:23,405 --> 00:08:25,172 [Whispering] Cliff... 173 00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,541 Annette. 174 00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:29,376 Uh, excuse me. 175 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,410 I just had a sudden thought here. 176 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,346 Uh... if you're not doin' anything, if you have the time, 177 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,746 maybe we could go out some time 178 00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:36,314 and do something together if you want. 179 00:08:36,314 --> 00:08:38,315 Really? 180 00:08:38,315 --> 00:08:40,517 That sounds nice. 181 00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:41,851 Oh, uh... 182 00:08:41,851 --> 00:08:42,952 Yeah, well, uh... 183 00:08:42,952 --> 00:08:44,853 I better warn you, though, uh... 184 00:08:44,853 --> 00:08:46,688 I'm goin' on a special assignment for the department. 185 00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:48,622 Oh. 186 00:08:48,622 --> 00:08:50,523 I've got no right to ask you to wait for me. 187 00:08:53,191 --> 00:08:55,694 Well, here's my phone number 188 00:08:55,694 --> 00:08:57,828 in case you make it. 189 00:08:57,828 --> 00:09:00,330 Great. Well, auf wiedersehen. 190 00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:02,131 Bye. 191 00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:05,501 So, what do you think? 192 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,369 How's the new girl doing? 193 00:09:07,369 --> 00:09:09,236 Oh, very well. 194 00:09:09,236 --> 00:09:11,305 That date with cliff is the second one she's made 195 00:09:11,305 --> 00:09:12,938 since she's been here. 196 00:09:12,938 --> 00:09:15,240 Really? 197 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,975 Well. Well, that's... that's good. That's good. 198 00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:18,976 She's breaking out of her shell. 199 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:22,945 Sam, it's cheers. It's a romantic bar. 200 00:09:22,945 --> 00:09:26,415 As many people fall in love here as get sick. 201 00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:31,651 So what do you say? Uh, maybe 1 A.M.? 202 00:09:33,253 --> 00:09:35,454 That would be fine. 203 00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:42,659 Sam. 204 00:09:42,659 --> 00:09:45,495 She's not what Carla thinks she is. 205 00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:47,962 Yes, she is. She's just... 206 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,963 She's naive. 207 00:09:49,963 --> 00:09:53,866 Sam, I am an excellent judge of character, 208 00:09:53,866 --> 00:09:58,936 and I say she's loose. 209 00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:00,505 Just stop. Stop. 210 00:10:00,505 --> 00:10:01,971 She's not loose. All right, 211 00:10:01,971 --> 00:10:03,607 I'll talk to her. 212 00:10:03,607 --> 00:10:05,874 I'll keep her from getting into trouble here. 213 00:10:05,874 --> 00:10:08,476 Annette, can I talk to you there in my office? 214 00:10:10,412 --> 00:10:11,945 By the way, 215 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,780 I think you would do a lot better for yourself 216 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,516 if you'd stop meddling in other people's sex lives 217 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,217 and started concentrating on mine. 218 00:10:24,921 --> 00:10:26,423 Well, that's great. That's great. 219 00:10:26,423 --> 00:10:29,558 That'll keep me till the end of a minute. 220 00:10:32,527 --> 00:10:34,027 Ah. 221 00:10:34,027 --> 00:10:35,762 Did I do something wrong? 222 00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:37,396 Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 223 00:10:37,396 --> 00:10:39,631 I just want to have a little talk with you. 224 00:10:39,631 --> 00:10:42,299 You see, I know that you haven't worked in bars before, 225 00:10:42,299 --> 00:10:45,935 and I just wanted to explain how men behaved in bars. 226 00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:47,937 They, uh... 227 00:10:47,937 --> 00:10:50,439 Well, they... they have a few drinks, get a little high, 228 00:10:50,439 --> 00:10:52,573 and then they get a little carried away 229 00:10:52,573 --> 00:10:54,475 around a beautiful new waitress, 230 00:10:54,475 --> 00:10:56,042 and, uh, well... 231 00:10:56,042 --> 00:10:57,777 Is this making any sense to you? 232 00:10:57,777 --> 00:10:59,578 Why don't we sit down here? 233 00:10:59,578 --> 00:11:01,412 See, what I'm... 234 00:11:01,412 --> 00:11:04,548 No, I thought maybe that... mmm! Oh! 235 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,915 Take me. Take me. 236 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,917 Ooh! Ow! 237 00:11:10,418 --> 00:11:12,554 Sam, telephone call... 238 00:11:12,554 --> 00:11:14,621 Whup! Ho! 239 00:11:14,621 --> 00:11:16,357 I'll just tell 'em you're breakin' in a new waitress. 240 00:11:16,357 --> 00:11:17,890 No... coach! 241 00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,901 Ok, folks, almost ready. 242 00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:38,304 That was cliff. 243 00:11:38,304 --> 00:11:40,373 He said he's feelin' a lot better. He's comin' in tonight. 244 00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:42,607 Great. What happened to him, anyway? 245 00:11:42,607 --> 00:11:45,476 It was during his test drive a few days ago. 246 00:11:45,476 --> 00:11:49,445 He stepped out of the car and into a pothole, smashed up his leg, 247 00:11:49,445 --> 00:11:52,814 but he finished his route in pain. 248 00:11:52,814 --> 00:11:55,416 He figured those 1974 Christmas cards 249 00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:58,317 couldn't wait another day, huh? 250 00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,455 Uh, Annette... 251 00:12:03,455 --> 00:12:04,622 You're late again. 252 00:12:04,622 --> 00:12:06,590 I'm sorry, Sam. 253 00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:09,092 Would you like to take me into your office and scold me? 254 00:12:09,092 --> 00:12:11,627 No, no. No, no, no. 255 00:12:11,627 --> 00:12:14,496 Just, uh, just maybe don't do it again. 256 00:12:14,496 --> 00:12:16,430 I won't. 257 00:12:18,499 --> 00:12:19,532 Eh... 258 00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:21,000 Sam... 259 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,836 She's turned into the thing that devoured Boston. 260 00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:26,670 We've gotta tell Carla about this. 261 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,805 Oh, no, we do not have to tell Carla about this. 262 00:12:28,805 --> 00:12:31,340 It's none of our business if she likes men. 263 00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:33,775 Loves men. 264 00:12:33,775 --> 00:12:36,611 She can do whatever she wants with her sex life. 265 00:12:36,611 --> 00:12:38,344 It's in the bill of rights. 266 00:12:40,747 --> 00:12:43,649 Where is it in the bill of rights? 267 00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:48,318 Well, you know, the part about the right to assemble and bear arms. 268 00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:56,824 That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 269 00:12:56,824 --> 00:13:00,393 Hey, I thought you said that you weren't gonna call me stupid 270 00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:03,729 now that we're being intimate. 271 00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:08,499 No. I said I wouldn't call you stupid while we're being intimate. 272 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,101 Ok, folks, the movie's ready! 273 00:13:13,101 --> 00:13:14,537 I got the lights. 274 00:13:14,537 --> 00:13:15,937 Thanks, Sam. 275 00:13:15,937 --> 00:13:18,139 Sit down, everybody. Get nice and comfy. 276 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:19,940 Here we go. 277 00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:21,475 Everybody comfortable? 278 00:13:21,475 --> 00:13:23,543 Uh... this film I call 279 00:13:23,543 --> 00:13:30,714 a trip to the hospital to visit Carla and her new 2-day-old baby. 280 00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:32,682 I like that. I like that. 281 00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:33,950 Thanks, Sam. 282 00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:38,018 All right. Here we are in the elevator, 283 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,787 and, uh, those elevator doors are opening, 284 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,622 and we're going to Carla's room, 285 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:47,592 and, yes, we go in, and... 286 00:13:47,592 --> 00:13:50,661 Oh, gee, I made a mistake. It's a dead guy's room. 287 00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:53,429 The widow was so upset. I tried to... 288 00:13:53,429 --> 00:13:56,397 Cheer her up with a gift, and she had... I just... 289 00:13:56,397 --> 00:13:57,766 It wasn't the right moment. 290 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,602 Oh, now, here we are. 291 00:14:01,602 --> 00:14:03,570 Uh, I'm on the right floor, 292 00:14:03,570 --> 00:14:07,439 and there's Carla's room, I hope, and in we go. 293 00:14:07,439 --> 00:14:09,540 Yes, it is! 294 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:10,975 Yay! 295 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,742 Ah, the kids were very good. 296 00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:14,410 They were on their good behavior. 297 00:14:14,410 --> 00:14:17,012 Then Anthony squirted his water pistol at me. 298 00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:20,682 Here I am wiping the lens, 299 00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:23,484 and sarafina grabbed the camera, 300 00:14:23,484 --> 00:14:25,785 crawled under a... a... a bed, 301 00:14:25,785 --> 00:14:29,153 and I begged her for it. I had a heck of a time... 302 00:14:29,153 --> 00:14:32,623 Then Ann Marie jumped on my back. 303 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:34,724 Sam: Coach, didn't you get a shot of the baby? 304 00:14:34,724 --> 00:14:36,192 Yeah. There she is. 305 00:14:36,192 --> 00:14:38,093 Norm: Which one's Carla's, coach? 306 00:14:38,093 --> 00:14:39,894 It's the little girl, norm. 307 00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:41,929 Doesn't she look just like her mother? 308 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:43,429 I think that's all. 309 00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:44,764 Sam: I got the lights. 310 00:14:44,764 --> 00:14:46,398 Ok. 311 00:14:47,866 --> 00:14:50,101 Well, hey! 312 00:14:50,101 --> 00:14:51,769 Bravo. 313 00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:56,005 Oh, that was nice. 314 00:14:56,005 --> 00:14:58,173 I'm glad I got to see the baby. 315 00:14:58,173 --> 00:15:01,042 You mean you haven't been over there yet? 316 00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:03,977 Well, I got as far as the hospital, 317 00:15:03,977 --> 00:15:06,679 but I met the chief surgeon in the parking lot, 318 00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:09,481 and we split a 6-pack in his Van. 319 00:15:09,481 --> 00:15:11,482 What a nice fellow. 320 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:17,920 Hey, lookie, here! 321 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,688 Hey! Hey! 322 00:15:19,688 --> 00:15:21,122 Welcome back. 323 00:15:21,122 --> 00:15:22,456 ♪ When cliffy comes marching home again ♪ 324 00:15:22,456 --> 00:15:23,957 ♪ hurrah, hurrah ♪ 325 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,959 come on over here, soldier. 326 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,827 Welcome home, cliffo. 327 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:29,628 [Chuckling] Thank you, coach. 328 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,963 Boy, I've missed you guys... 329 00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:33,531 Except Paul. 330 00:15:33,531 --> 00:15:34,532 Yeah. 331 00:15:34,532 --> 00:15:36,566 So, uh, who wants to see it? 332 00:15:36,566 --> 00:15:37,800 Oh, no, not me. 333 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,100 I can't stand that stuff, 334 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,236 can't even eat an open-faced sandwich. 335 00:15:41,236 --> 00:15:42,469 Eh... 336 00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:43,771 Ew! 337 00:15:43,771 --> 00:15:47,541 Ah, it's almost gone now anyway, yeah. 338 00:15:47,541 --> 00:15:49,174 Little suds on there, cliff. 339 00:15:49,174 --> 00:15:50,709 Hey, thank you, coach. 340 00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:53,678 I had some healing hands to help me. 341 00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,245 Yeah. Some, uh... 342 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:59,114 Incredible, beautiful hands. 343 00:15:59,114 --> 00:16:00,815 Oh, wait a minute here. 344 00:16:00,815 --> 00:16:01,983 Sounds like the man's been bitten by the love bug. 345 00:16:01,983 --> 00:16:04,217 Cliffy, you found somebody, huh? 346 00:16:04,217 --> 00:16:05,653 Well, yeah. 347 00:16:05,653 --> 00:16:06,986 He did. 348 00:16:06,986 --> 00:16:08,988 Cliff: All right, all right. 349 00:16:08,988 --> 00:16:11,089 I never thought I was the kind of guy to fall head over heels... 350 00:16:11,089 --> 00:16:13,824 Oh, god. It isn't Annette, is it? 351 00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:15,125 Well, yeah! 352 00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,994 Oh, I'm so happy for you. 353 00:16:17,994 --> 00:16:19,828 Thank you, Diane. 354 00:16:19,828 --> 00:16:21,229 It's great. 355 00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:23,831 She doesn't know it yet, but, uh... 356 00:16:23,831 --> 00:16:26,633 I'm gonna ask for her hand. 357 00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:29,802 Annette? 358 00:16:29,802 --> 00:16:31,170 Yeah. Isn't it something, Sammy, 359 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:33,071 me and Carla's sweet little sister? 360 00:16:33,071 --> 00:16:35,505 Oh, it's like fate, huh? 361 00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:36,807 Oh, there she is. 362 00:16:36,807 --> 00:16:38,075 Annette... 363 00:16:40,677 --> 00:16:42,210 Hiya, sweetheart. 364 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,712 Hello there... 365 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,045 Handsome. 366 00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:53,151 Oh, Sam... 367 00:16:53,151 --> 00:16:55,553 I think we have to talk in the back room. 368 00:16:55,553 --> 00:16:57,888 Why? 369 00:16:57,888 --> 00:16:59,923 Well, it's our weekly seminar 370 00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:04,058 on the use of leitmotif in the chanson de Roland. 371 00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:07,928 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 372 00:17:07,928 --> 00:17:09,896 Boy, time really flies by, doesn't it? 373 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,564 Yeah, Norman, why don't you join us? Coach? 374 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,833 No, no, not me, Diane. Thank you. No. 375 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,300 Oh, come on, coach. 376 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:17,902 You're the guest speaker. 377 00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:19,803 Hey, this might be good. 378 00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:31,911 We are confronted with a problem. 379 00:17:31,911 --> 00:17:33,045 Tell him about it, we ruin his life. 380 00:17:33,045 --> 00:17:34,579 Sam: Right. 381 00:17:34,579 --> 00:17:36,080 What if we don't tell him about it? 382 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,717 Don't tell him about it, we ruin his life. 383 00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:42,518 Well, if I'm confused, everybody must be. 384 00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:48,823 I know cliff. He's a very sweet guy. 385 00:17:48,823 --> 00:17:51,791 If anybody can change this Annette babe, he's the one. 386 00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:54,259 Well, maybe you're right, Norman. 387 00:17:54,259 --> 00:17:56,861 I guess we've been pretty cynical, huh? 388 00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:58,863 Who are we to judge? 389 00:17:58,863 --> 00:18:00,731 Maybe Annette really loves cliff. 390 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,098 There you go. 391 00:18:02,098 --> 00:18:05,200 Hey, face it, love can be a rebirth 392 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:08,002 for any man and woman. 393 00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:09,236 Yeah. I feel better about that. 394 00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:10,871 Well, wasn't it Dante who said... 395 00:18:10,871 --> 00:18:12,672 [all talking] 396 00:18:19,944 --> 00:18:22,812 Annette, would you get me a soda, please? 397 00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:25,180 Certainly. 398 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:28,149 That cliff is really something special, huh? 399 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,951 Which one's cliff? 400 00:18:35,054 --> 00:18:37,088 Let me tell him. I'm his best friend. 401 00:18:37,088 --> 00:18:39,858 Cliff, talk to you in the back room here a moment? 402 00:18:39,858 --> 00:18:42,125 Uh, well, yeah. Sure, norm. 403 00:18:43,793 --> 00:18:45,594 You sure about this? 404 00:18:45,594 --> 00:18:47,262 I've seen this kind of thing destroy relationships. 405 00:18:47,262 --> 00:18:48,930 He should hear about it from somebody who cares about him 406 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,931 and who he cares about. 407 00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,199 See you later, sweetheart. 408 00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,701 Bye. 409 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,637 Yeah. So, uh, what's goin' on, norm? 410 00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:01,505 Aw, nothin'. 411 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:05,307 What, I can't talk to my buddy? 412 00:19:05,307 --> 00:19:07,910 Well, yeah. Sure. No problem. 413 00:19:13,947 --> 00:19:16,783 Uh, so, uh, what's up? 414 00:19:16,783 --> 00:19:20,918 What would you say your definition of "friendship" was, cliff? 415 00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:24,220 Hey, norm, Annette's out there waitin' for me. 416 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:25,288 Use a dictionary, eh? 417 00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:26,955 Yeah. 418 00:19:26,955 --> 00:19:28,824 Cliff... cliff, I think friendship is 2 guys who can 419 00:19:28,824 --> 00:19:30,091 remember all the good times 420 00:19:30,091 --> 00:19:31,292 that they shared, you know? 421 00:19:31,292 --> 00:19:33,059 Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's good, norm. 422 00:19:33,059 --> 00:19:34,795 You remember all the good times we shared? 423 00:19:34,795 --> 00:19:36,862 Yeah. Listen, norm, if you want a couple of bucks, uh... 424 00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:38,864 No, no. Cliff, cliff, cliff! 425 00:19:38,864 --> 00:19:41,733 Hey, remember, like, uh, 426 00:19:41,733 --> 00:19:43,934 when you thought that I was drinkin' too much 427 00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:45,702 and that you felt that I really ought to stop? 428 00:19:45,702 --> 00:19:46,736 Yeah, yeah. 429 00:19:46,736 --> 00:19:48,004 Yeah. 430 00:19:48,004 --> 00:19:50,171 As a friend, I appreciated that. 431 00:19:50,171 --> 00:19:52,139 Yeah. You didn't stop, norm. 432 00:19:52,139 --> 00:19:55,041 I decided you were wrong, but, uh... 433 00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:56,943 Remember we were passing through Concord 434 00:19:56,943 --> 00:19:58,911 and we stopped, we took a squirt on that guy's lawn? 435 00:19:58,911 --> 00:20:01,345 Oh, ho ho ho! Yeah! 436 00:20:01,345 --> 00:20:03,681 Yeah. We killed his Jack-in-the-pulpit. 437 00:20:03,681 --> 00:20:04,948 Yeah. 438 00:20:04,948 --> 00:20:07,183 Yeah. 439 00:20:07,183 --> 00:20:10,885 Yeah. So what'd you ask me back here for, norm? 440 00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:13,387 It wasn't to talk over the good times, huh? 441 00:20:13,387 --> 00:20:16,256 Well, uh, not just that. 442 00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:19,759 More like, uh... 443 00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,159 About, uh... 444 00:20:21,159 --> 00:20:22,660 Annette. 445 00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,394 Oh... 446 00:20:24,394 --> 00:20:26,329 Norm, lookit. Lookit. 447 00:20:26,329 --> 00:20:29,364 When Annette and me are married, it's not gonna change us. 448 00:20:29,364 --> 00:20:31,666 No. Cliff... 449 00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:34,802 Annette's not as innocent as you think she is. 450 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,139 What's that supposed to mean, norm? 451 00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,741 It means since she's been workin' here, 452 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,875 she has been around... 453 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,710 And... 454 00:20:46,710 --> 00:20:49,712 And around. 455 00:20:49,712 --> 00:20:52,981 What are you saying this for, norm? 456 00:20:52,981 --> 00:20:55,115 'Cause you're jealous or something? 457 00:20:55,115 --> 00:20:57,416 'Cause Annette and I are going and starting a new life together 458 00:20:57,416 --> 00:21:00,053 and all the magic's gone out of your relationship? 459 00:21:00,053 --> 00:21:04,621 More people have enjoyed Annette's magic than Doug henning's. 460 00:21:09,459 --> 00:21:12,828 Normy, I'll give you one second to take that back! 461 00:21:16,029 --> 00:21:18,165 Ok, I'll give you 3. 462 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,740 Who's she been with? 463 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:32,975 Everybody. 464 00:21:34,742 --> 00:21:35,743 You? 465 00:21:35,743 --> 00:21:37,044 No. 466 00:21:37,044 --> 00:21:39,079 'Cause you're married, right? 467 00:21:40,881 --> 00:21:43,482 After you're married to a woman like Vera, 468 00:21:43,482 --> 00:21:47,018 you don't even think about extramarital sex. 469 00:21:47,018 --> 00:21:49,186 I try not to think about marital sex. 470 00:21:59,459 --> 00:22:02,061 So, what... You hate me now, right? 471 00:22:02,061 --> 00:22:03,728 No. 472 00:22:05,063 --> 00:22:06,730 Hate her? 473 00:22:06,730 --> 00:22:08,399 No. 474 00:22:08,399 --> 00:22:10,466 Hate yourself? 475 00:22:10,466 --> 00:22:11,902 Yeah. 476 00:22:11,902 --> 00:22:14,069 My choice, too. Yeah. 477 00:22:14,069 --> 00:22:18,006 Eh, I guess I should have known. 478 00:22:18,006 --> 00:22:20,240 She said she invented all those things 479 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,041 it takes you years to learn. 480 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,310 Oh... 481 00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:27,045 Oh... I guess I oughta thank you, huh, norm? 482 00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:28,412 Oh. 483 00:22:28,412 --> 00:22:29,914 Eh... Oh, no, no. 484 00:22:29,914 --> 00:22:32,048 Couldn't have been easy for you to... 485 00:22:32,048 --> 00:22:34,950 I just hope I can do the same for you one day. 486 00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:36,184 Thanks. 487 00:22:36,184 --> 00:22:38,019 Well. 488 00:22:39,753 --> 00:22:41,221 Come on. Let's get a beer. 489 00:22:41,221 --> 00:22:43,323 No. I'm not goin' back out there. 490 00:22:43,323 --> 00:22:45,390 The guys are gonna laugh at me. 491 00:22:45,390 --> 00:22:47,358 No one's gonna laugh at you. 492 00:22:47,358 --> 00:22:48,860 Those people care about you, 493 00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:50,160 and they know that you're hurtin'. 494 00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:54,330 Anybody who laughs at you has got to answer to me. 495 00:22:56,898 --> 00:23:01,668 Normy, you're about the best friend I ever had. 496 00:23:04,838 --> 00:23:06,872 You're mine. 497 00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:11,008 Wanna hug? 498 00:23:14,776 --> 00:23:16,778 Nah. 499 00:23:16,778 --> 00:23:19,480 Me, either. 500 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,114 I mean, it's not like you pulled me 501 00:23:21,114 --> 00:23:23,783 from a burning car or anything.