1
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,850
Carla: Hey, "cheers" is filmed
before a live studio audience.

2
00:00:07,318 --> 00:00:11,592
Oh, oh, Sam, let me
have the TV control.

3
00:00:11,658 --> 00:00:13,195
Hup! Hey!

4
00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:14,362
What are you gonna watch?

5
00:00:14,429 --> 00:00:16,165
There's something extraordinary

6
00:00:16,232 --> 00:00:17,667
on television right now.

7
00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,037
Whoa, whoa, what's
up? A game on, eh?

8
00:00:19,104 --> 00:00:20,138
What is it, the bruins?

9
00:00:20,205 --> 00:00:21,840
I didn't read
anything in the paper.

10
00:00:21,908 --> 00:00:23,010
Shh!

11
00:00:23,076 --> 00:00:25,313
[Singing opera]

12
00:00:26,815 --> 00:00:30,321
I think the lady singing
the anthem is loaded.

13
00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:34,793
Diane, what the hell is this?

14
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,863
Wagner's "ring
of the nibelungs",

15
00:00:36,931 --> 00:00:39,200
the complete cycle.
That's rheingold,

16
00:00:39,267 --> 00:00:41,604
die walküre, siegfried,

17
00:00:41,671 --> 00:00:43,607
and finally götterdämmerung.

18
00:00:43,674 --> 00:00:46,611
Boy, I hope they don't
use that canned laughter.

19
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:51,153
No, coach, it's not a
comedy. This is opera.

20
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,287
Oh.

21
00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:54,023
I'll explain as we proceed.

22
00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:55,759
Now this is the story

23
00:00:55,825 --> 00:00:59,031
of a golden ring
with magical powers

24
00:00:59,098 --> 00:01:00,968
that curses anyone who owns it.

25
00:01:01,034 --> 00:01:02,770
Hey, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.

26
00:01:02,836 --> 00:01:03,837
They had that same story

27
00:01:03,905 --> 00:01:06,776
on "Scooby-doo"
Saturday morning.

28
00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:10,382
Yeah, but the dog sang
a little better than that.

29
00:01:10,448 --> 00:01:12,185
Come on, you guys,

30
00:01:12,251 --> 00:01:15,190
now, give it a chance.

31
00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:16,457
Now, the first 3
hours are devoted...

32
00:01:16,524 --> 00:01:18,860
Ugh! Ohh! No!

33
00:01:18,928 --> 00:01:21,565
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

34
00:01:21,632 --> 00:01:24,269
I put up with your
sporting events.

35
00:01:24,336 --> 00:01:27,241
It's time that you
return the favor.

36
00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:29,011
After 10 minutes, if you aren't

37
00:01:29,077 --> 00:01:30,879
totally mesmerized
by its beauty,

38
00:01:30,946 --> 00:01:32,416
I will turn it off.

39
00:01:32,482 --> 00:01:34,085
10 minutes, huh?

40
00:01:34,152 --> 00:01:35,854
All right. Ok.

41
00:01:38,691 --> 00:01:40,794
[All snoring]

42
00:01:42,831 --> 00:01:45,035
Very funny.

43
00:01:45,101 --> 00:01:46,970
[Turns off TV]

44
00:01:47,038 --> 00:01:50,176
Culture's wasted on you.
Oxygen is wasted on you!

45
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:53,514
[All laughing and chortling]

46
00:01:55,651 --> 00:01:57,587
You know, that was, uh,

47
00:01:57,654 --> 00:01:59,323
not a very nice
thing to do to Diane.

48
00:01:59,390 --> 00:02:00,559
Sam's got a point there.

49
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,395
Well, she has
watched a lot of sports.

50
00:02:02,462 --> 00:02:03,463
Yeah, all right, all right.

51
00:02:03,529 --> 00:02:05,499
Let's give it another shot, huh?

52
00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:09,472
[Woman singing opera]

53
00:02:09,538 --> 00:02:11,408
All: No!

54
00:02:18,886 --> 00:02:21,157
♪ Makin' your way
in the world today ♪

55
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,295
♪ takes everything you've got ♪

56
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:27,032
♪ takin' a break
from all your worries ♪

57
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,136
♪ sure would help a lot ♪

58
00:02:30,571 --> 00:02:33,842
♪ wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪

59
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,383
♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪

60
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:42,055
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪

61
00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:48,398
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪

62
00:02:48,465 --> 00:02:50,868
♪ you wanna be
where you can see ♪

63
00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:53,540
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪

64
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:57,546
♪ you wanna be where
everybody knows your name ♪

65
00:02:58,814 --> 00:03:01,285
♪ you wanna go
where people know ♪

66
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:03,955
♪ people are all the same ♪

67
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,090
♪ you wanna go ♪

68
00:03:05,158 --> 00:03:08,596
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪

69
00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:31,998
Coach, I'm gonna be in
the back checking the wine.

70
00:03:32,064 --> 00:03:33,601
Ok, Sam.

71
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,370
Yeah, ed.

72
00:03:37,139 --> 00:03:40,010
Would you like to join me?

73
00:03:40,077 --> 00:03:43,316
It's quiet, empty, dimly lit.

74
00:03:43,382 --> 00:03:45,519
Ah, much like your mind.

75
00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:49,358
So, what do you say?

76
00:03:49,425 --> 00:03:52,463
Sam, you talk a lot about
our having a dalliance,

77
00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:53,598
but I've always been told

78
00:03:53,665 --> 00:03:55,735
that barking dogs don't bite.

79
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:59,574
Biting. Is that
what you're into?

80
00:03:59,641 --> 00:04:01,344
Do you know what bothers me?

81
00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:03,747
There are women
upon whom this works,

82
00:04:03,813 --> 00:04:05,983
and they're allowed
to vote and drive cars.

83
00:04:11,359 --> 00:04:13,228
So, what do you say?

84
00:04:15,832 --> 00:04:17,702
Fred and ginger are
taking a little break,

85
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:20,839
but they'll be back to
nauseate you later on.

86
00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:25,447
Gee, Eddie, it really is...

87
00:04:25,514 --> 00:04:27,384
It's been nice talking to you.

88
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,520
Oh, by the way,
Eddie, did I tell you

89
00:04:29,587 --> 00:04:32,858
that my wife passed
away some time ago?

90
00:04:32,925 --> 00:04:34,861
Yeah.

91
00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:36,129
Oh, well, thanks, Eddie,

92
00:04:36,196 --> 00:04:37,932
I really appreciate that.

93
00:04:37,999 --> 00:04:40,637
Is your wife dead yet, ed?

94
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,474
That's good, really.

95
00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:44,743
Listen, Eddie, I
want to thank you

96
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:46,078
for thinking about me, huh,

97
00:04:46,145 --> 00:04:48,015
and I'll get back to you.

98
00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:50,285
So long, pal.

99
00:04:50,352 --> 00:04:51,921
What is it, coach?

100
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,957
Pal of mine, Eddie Fuentes.

101
00:04:54,024 --> 00:04:56,494
He manages in the winter
leagues down in Venezuela.

102
00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:58,497
He says if I can learn Spanish,

103
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:00,867
he might have a
job for me coaching.

104
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,136
You mean you're gonna
return to coaching, coach?

105
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:03,605
Yeah, Carla.

106
00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:06,142
Baseball's so much
simpler than life, you know.

107
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:08,045
In baseball, I always
know where I'm at.

108
00:05:08,111 --> 00:05:11,183
Right? We're up,
I'm in the coach's box.

109
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,919
They're up, I'm in the dugout.

110
00:05:12,986 --> 00:05:15,189
The game is
over, I hit the head,

111
00:05:15,256 --> 00:05:17,493
get a cheeseburger.

112
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,797
Sounds like a great life, coach.

113
00:05:19,864 --> 00:05:20,998
It's terrific.

114
00:05:21,065 --> 00:05:23,335
Uh, you know any
Spanish there, coach?

115
00:05:23,402 --> 00:05:26,006
Yeah, cliff. I took some
courses for a couple of days

116
00:05:26,073 --> 00:05:27,709
just to learn a few
phrases, you know.

117
00:05:27,776 --> 00:05:28,910
Oh, yeah? Like what?

118
00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:31,682
Like "how tall is my dentist?"

119
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,887
And "is that
really your sister?"

120
00:05:34,953 --> 00:05:37,557
Uh, just enough to get by.

121
00:05:40,629 --> 00:05:42,163
You're gonna do fine, coach.

122
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:43,900
Thanks, cliff.

123
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:50,844
Interesting, interesting.

124
00:05:50,911 --> 00:05:52,980
That was Sam's brother.

125
00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,517
He's on his way over.

126
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,052
Sam's brother? Yeah.

127
00:05:56,119 --> 00:05:57,588
Didn't know he
had one. Me, either.

128
00:05:57,655 --> 00:05:59,391
He didn't tell any of you?

129
00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:03,130
Coach? ¿sí?

130
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,834
Did you know Sam has a brother?

131
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,070
Of course I know
he had a brother.

132
00:06:08,137 --> 00:06:10,441
He hates him. Why
does he hate him?

133
00:06:10,507 --> 00:06:12,811
He was cruel to him.
When Sam was a kid,

134
00:06:12,878 --> 00:06:14,681
he used to shove
his head underwater.

135
00:06:14,748 --> 00:06:16,149
Eww!

136
00:06:16,215 --> 00:06:19,254
Hey, wait a minute.
That was my brother.

137
00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:22,860
Come to think of
it, that was my head.

138
00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:26,499
Coach, don't Sam and his brother

139
00:06:26,566 --> 00:06:28,068
spend any time together?

140
00:06:28,134 --> 00:06:30,237
Oh, they get together
whenever he's in town,

141
00:06:30,304 --> 00:06:32,074
but he's never been to cheers.

142
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:33,242
Well, he's coming now,

143
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,711
and someone has to tell Sam.

144
00:06:34,778 --> 00:06:36,180
Let me do it.

145
00:06:36,246 --> 00:06:38,183
I'm a smoothie about
breaking bad news.

146
00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:44,860
Yeah?

147
00:06:44,927 --> 00:06:47,197
Sam, your apartment burned
down. You lost everything.

148
00:06:47,263 --> 00:06:48,332
Oh, my god, really?

149
00:06:48,399 --> 00:06:50,268
No, no, no, your
brother's in town.

150
00:06:50,335 --> 00:06:54,008
He's on his way over. Makes
you feel better, doesn't it?

151
00:06:54,074 --> 00:06:56,778
I hate it when
you do that, coach.

152
00:06:56,845 --> 00:06:59,081
Oh, come on, Sam,
it cushions the blow.

153
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:01,953
My, uh, my brother's
in town, huh?

154
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:04,824
I took the call. He was
just leaving his hotel.

155
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,159
Oh, good.

156
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,629
Did you tell him I was here?

157
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:11,100
Of course. I had no idea
this would be a problem.

158
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:12,502
No, no problem.

159
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:14,038
My brother's coming over.

160
00:07:14,104 --> 00:07:15,340
I love my brother.

161
00:07:15,406 --> 00:07:17,476
That's not what I heard.

162
00:07:18,979 --> 00:07:20,582
Maybe you ought to
step in here for a minute

163
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,519
and let me show you
something I've triumphed over.

164
00:07:25,121 --> 00:07:28,594
Don't tell me you finally
mastered the stapler.

165
00:07:29,696 --> 00:07:31,799
Uh, sit down, sit down.

166
00:07:31,866 --> 00:07:34,135
See, what they were
talking about out there is, uh,

167
00:07:34,202 --> 00:07:36,673
I used to have this problem
with my brother Derek.

168
00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:38,208
It was kind of a...
What do you call it?

169
00:07:38,275 --> 00:07:40,612
An inferiority complex,

170
00:07:40,679 --> 00:07:42,949
but that was a long time ago,

171
00:07:43,016 --> 00:07:45,019
and I conquered it.

172
00:07:45,086 --> 00:07:46,889
Yeah, here it is.

173
00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,825
Yeah, this is the
guy that used to

174
00:07:48,892 --> 00:07:50,695
make me feel like nothing.

175
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,029
Heh heh heh!

176
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,031
Wow.

177
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,768
Wow what?

178
00:07:55,835 --> 00:07:58,239
Well, he's very nice-looking.

179
00:07:58,306 --> 00:08:01,043
He'd be even better if
he had his 2 front teeth.

180
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:04,148
No, I blacked those out myself.

181
00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:06,451
That was before I
got over my problem.

182
00:08:06,518 --> 00:08:08,054
The interesting thing here is

183
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,857
that I didn't go to
any psychiatrist,

184
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,392
I didn't read any
of your fancy books.

185
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:12,995
I just, uh, sat myself down.

186
00:08:13,062 --> 00:08:14,130
I said, "hey,

187
00:08:14,196 --> 00:08:15,265
my brother's no
better than I am."

188
00:08:15,332 --> 00:08:16,433
Pow!

189
00:08:16,499 --> 00:08:19,104
I'm sure you're right.

190
00:08:19,171 --> 00:08:21,207
What does he do for a living?

191
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,878
He's an international lawyer.

192
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,881
Oh, wow!

193
00:08:25,948 --> 00:08:27,550
Hey, it so happens

194
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:30,155
I come from a very
intelligent family.

195
00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:35,897
Yeah, I guess Derek
does ok for himself.

196
00:08:35,964 --> 00:08:39,703
He must make 50,
60 grand a year.

197
00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:41,037
Oh, are you kidding?

198
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,141
Those guys make
10 times that much.

199
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:45,178
Wow.

200
00:08:45,244 --> 00:08:47,381
Uh, yeah, but it's
the, uh, it's the job.

201
00:08:47,447 --> 00:08:48,649
Last year, he traveled so much,

202
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:50,251
he had to buy his own plane.

203
00:08:50,318 --> 00:08:52,690
What kind of life is that?

204
00:08:54,257 --> 00:08:55,359
The poor wretch.

205
00:08:55,426 --> 00:08:59,132
Oh, who am I kidding?

206
00:08:59,199 --> 00:09:01,068
The guy's better at
everything than I am.

207
00:09:01,135 --> 00:09:02,805
I mean, he's perfect.

208
00:09:02,871 --> 00:09:04,340
Oh, Sam.

209
00:09:04,407 --> 00:09:07,144
He's maybe a man of
some accomplishment,

210
00:09:07,211 --> 00:09:09,214
but this all sounds
like a younger brother

211
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,952
idealizing his older sibling.

212
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,454
Hmm. You think so?

213
00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:16,358
Sure! He's just an ordinary Joe.

214
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,930
Can I keep this?

215
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,569
You must have a sense of
humor about these things.

216
00:09:23,636 --> 00:09:25,505
Yeah, maybe you're right.

217
00:09:25,572 --> 00:09:27,575
I guess if I looked at it right,

218
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:28,711
it could be funny.

219
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:29,779
Sure.

220
00:09:29,846 --> 00:09:32,050
Maybe one less
tooth and a mustache.

221
00:09:32,116 --> 00:09:34,619
Sam, a nuclear
bomb just hit Boston.

222
00:09:34,686 --> 00:09:36,189
What?

223
00:09:36,256 --> 00:09:38,860
Derek's here. Derek's here.

224
00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:40,528
They're catching on.

225
00:09:40,595 --> 00:09:42,398
Listen, no, wait.

226
00:09:42,465 --> 00:09:45,403
Uh, I don't want you
to worry about me.

227
00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:47,406
I'm used to, uh,

228
00:09:47,473 --> 00:09:49,409
living around
Mr. Wonderful all my life.

229
00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:51,145
It's no big deal.

230
00:09:51,212 --> 00:09:53,548
It's just that whenever
he's in the room,

231
00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:55,351
I kind of feel invisible.

232
00:09:55,418 --> 00:09:57,621
Oh, Sam.

233
00:09:57,688 --> 00:09:59,557
I don't pay you a
lot of compliments,

234
00:09:59,624 --> 00:10:01,961
but I really don't feel
you have any need

235
00:10:02,028 --> 00:10:04,165
to feel inferior to anyone.

236
00:10:04,232 --> 00:10:05,835
Well, thank you.

237
00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:08,906
That's very nice.

238
00:10:08,972 --> 00:10:11,777
Man, piano accompaniment:
♪ forever... ♪

239
00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,713
Ooh, nice voice. Who is that?

240
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,714
Guess.

241
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,417
Oh, really?

242
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:20,523
♪ I dream all day and night ♪

243
00:10:20,589 --> 00:10:25,164
♪ watch you for my lifetime ♪

244
00:10:25,231 --> 00:10:29,203
♪ I love you ♪

245
00:10:29,270 --> 00:10:36,214
♪ my sweetheart ♪

246
00:10:36,281 --> 00:10:39,018
Carla: Way to go, Derek!

247
00:10:41,388 --> 00:10:43,559
Can we get this
man a beer, please?

248
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:44,693
Oh, I'll get it! I'll get it!

249
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,765
Oh, Sam, I'm sorry.
I didn't see you.

250
00:10:57,446 --> 00:10:58,615
[Patrons laughing]

251
00:10:58,682 --> 00:11:01,152
Derek! Hey, Derek,
how about a beer?

252
00:11:01,219 --> 00:11:05,292
Derek: No, no, thank you, norm.

253
00:11:05,358 --> 00:11:07,295
Oh, what a guy.

254
00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:09,431
Can I get a beer, Sam?

255
00:11:09,498 --> 00:11:11,835
Where are my waitresses?

256
00:11:11,903 --> 00:11:12,970
I didn't have the heart

257
00:11:13,037 --> 00:11:14,172
to pull them away from the show.

258
00:11:14,239 --> 00:11:15,608
The show?

259
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:19,314
Yeah, Derek's doing
trick pool shots back there.

260
00:11:19,380 --> 00:11:21,617
You must've had fun
growing up with him, Sam.

261
00:11:21,683 --> 00:11:22,851
Yeah.

262
00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,254
Do you have idea
what kind of gift

263
00:11:24,321 --> 00:11:27,492
I could get for Derek?

264
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,795
Gift?

265
00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:30,864
Yeah, you know, I feel I
should get him something.

266
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:33,668
I mean, the guy
did get me a job.

267
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,604
He got you a job tonight?

268
00:11:35,671 --> 00:11:37,507
After all those months
you've been looking for one?

269
00:11:37,574 --> 00:11:39,410
Not just a job, Sammy,

270
00:11:39,477 --> 00:11:41,280
he got me a great job.

271
00:11:41,347 --> 00:11:42,349
For the first time,
I'm gonna have

272
00:11:42,415 --> 00:11:44,352
my own parking space,

273
00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:45,988
got a secretary,

274
00:11:46,055 --> 00:11:47,490
got a window for water bombs...

275
00:11:47,557 --> 00:11:49,893
All the perks.

276
00:11:49,961 --> 00:11:53,065
Well, good for you,
norm. That's great.

277
00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:55,235
So, uh, what can I get him?

278
00:11:55,302 --> 00:11:56,370
I really don't care
what you get him.

279
00:11:56,436 --> 00:11:57,738
Get him a tie.

280
00:11:57,805 --> 00:12:01,378
Sure! I wouldn't dare
buy clothes for that guy.

281
00:12:01,444 --> 00:12:03,781
He has his lint made in england.

282
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,251
Hey, norm, norm,
come on, hurry up!

283
00:12:06,319 --> 00:12:08,789
He's gonna do some
tap dancing for us.

284
00:12:11,927 --> 00:12:14,198
Hey, hey, you two!
Come on back here.

285
00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:17,202
We've got a rich guy
tap-dancing back here.

286
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,442
[Tap-dancing]

287
00:12:29,687 --> 00:12:33,560
[Patrons cheering]

288
00:12:36,432 --> 00:12:40,103
Ohh! Whoa, Sammy!

289
00:12:40,171 --> 00:12:43,775
Your brother is one
good-looking guy.

290
00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:45,778
Did you ever hear
Derek say anything

291
00:12:45,846 --> 00:12:48,316
about being a
sucker for swarthy,

292
00:12:48,383 --> 00:12:51,020
fertile, mediterranean types?

293
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,023
Afraid not, Carla.

294
00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:54,592
Figured.

295
00:12:54,659 --> 00:12:55,927
Let me have a
couple of heinekens

296
00:12:55,994 --> 00:12:58,065
and a couple of löwenbraus.

297
00:12:58,131 --> 00:13:00,468
So how come your
brother has all that, um,

298
00:13:00,534 --> 00:13:02,271
beautiful curly blonde hair

299
00:13:02,337 --> 00:13:04,841
and those deep blue eyes, huh?

300
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:06,611
Oh, are they blue?

301
00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:09,648
Like windex.

302
00:13:09,715 --> 00:13:12,820
[Diane laughing]

303
00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:15,224
Boy, sounds like
the stick lady's

304
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:18,028
having a good time, doesn't it?

305
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:19,497
Was that Diane's laugh?

306
00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,767
I thought they were
killing chickens back there.

307
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,505
Yeah, you know,
he really got to her

308
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,641
when he told her
about that time in Paris

309
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:28,977
when he got drunk
with anais nin.

310
00:13:29,044 --> 00:13:32,183
Wow. Really?

311
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,653
Yup.

312
00:13:34,721 --> 00:13:36,857
I was hoping you'd know.

313
00:13:38,593 --> 00:13:40,663
Yeah, Derek's
always been like that,

314
00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:43,066
always had to
have the spotlight,

315
00:13:43,134 --> 00:13:45,137
had to be the
center of attention.

316
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:46,205
Yeah, well, you know,

317
00:13:46,272 --> 00:13:47,673
if it's any consolation
to you, Sam,

318
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:49,343
I know how you feel.

319
00:13:49,409 --> 00:13:53,249
I got a sister who's got
me beat in every way.

320
00:13:53,315 --> 00:13:56,354
She's 5'2",

321
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,158
her husband never
has a drink until noon,

322
00:13:59,225 --> 00:14:02,095
and she's a beautician.

323
00:14:02,163 --> 00:14:05,768
I mean, how do you
compete with that?

324
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,839
But after a while,
I said to myself,

325
00:14:08,906 --> 00:14:11,977
"to hell with her. I'm me."

326
00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,313
What you're trying to say is

327
00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,149
I'm as good as my brother?

328
00:14:15,216 --> 00:14:18,154
You kidding? You're not
even as good as my sister.

329
00:14:19,755 --> 00:14:22,960
But I still like you best, Sam.

330
00:14:23,027 --> 00:14:24,930
That makes 2 of us.

331
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,301
Hey, uh, Carla,
wait a minute here.

332
00:14:29,204 --> 00:14:31,274
What do you think? Uh...

333
00:14:31,341 --> 00:14:33,611
Do you think Diane likes Derek?

334
00:14:33,677 --> 00:14:36,748
[Whiny voice] Does
Diane like Derek?

335
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:39,386
I don't know, Sammy.
I'll pass her a note in gym.

336
00:14:39,453 --> 00:14:41,155
Hey, no, no, come
on, I'm serious.

337
00:14:41,223 --> 00:14:43,392
I mean, I know what my
brother's like around women,

338
00:14:43,459 --> 00:14:44,494
and I know Diane...

339
00:14:44,561 --> 00:14:45,962
You know something, Sam?

340
00:14:46,029 --> 00:14:47,298
I used to admire you,

341
00:14:47,365 --> 00:14:48,567
but you know what's
happened to you

342
00:14:48,634 --> 00:14:50,169
ever since she got here?

343
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:53,474
You've turned into a big weenie.

344
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:55,244
You're a dink, a wimp,

345
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,712
a thread, a loser.

346
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,382
Well, thank you
very much, Carla.

347
00:14:58,449 --> 00:15:00,252
I was having a little bit
of a confidence problem,

348
00:15:00,318 --> 00:15:01,754
but that's been a real boost.

349
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:03,857
Well, you know,
just a few weeks ago,

350
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:07,195
you were making time with
every foxy lady in Boston

351
00:15:07,263 --> 00:15:09,666
on your way to legendary status.

352
00:15:09,732 --> 00:15:11,068
I mean, Sammy, you were heading

353
00:15:11,134 --> 00:15:13,405
for the hounds hall of fame.

354
00:15:13,472 --> 00:15:16,877
Then lady fishface
walked in the door.

355
00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:18,680
What's going on here?

356
00:15:18,746 --> 00:15:21,950
Oh, I don't know, Carla.
It's driving me nuts.

357
00:15:22,018 --> 00:15:23,888
I mean, maybe she's
playing hard to get,

358
00:15:23,954 --> 00:15:25,757
but hard to get for
me used to mean

359
00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:27,960
I'd have to sit through dinner.

360
00:15:34,437 --> 00:15:36,773
Yeah, well,

361
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:40,145
if you can't get to
her, no one can.

362
00:15:40,212 --> 00:15:41,681
What about Derek?

363
00:15:41,748 --> 00:15:44,653
Oh, in a minute.

364
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,790
Don't worry. He's got
better taste than that.

365
00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:50,595
Sam! Compadre!

366
00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:52,465
¿Necesita mi ayuda?

367
00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:55,201
What?

368
00:15:55,268 --> 00:15:57,204
Your brother's
teaching me Spanish.

369
00:15:57,271 --> 00:16:00,877
You're learning the Spanish
language in one evening?

370
00:16:00,944 --> 00:16:03,415
No, no, Sam, no enteramente, no.

371
00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:06,953
El tenso subjetivo
es muy difícil.

372
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:10,659
Derek: Ernesto, Ernesto!

373
00:16:10,725 --> 00:16:12,495
¡Venga! ¡voy a bailar!

374
00:16:12,562 --> 00:16:15,500
¡Sí, venga, venga, Derek, venga!

375
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,371
Sam, you want me
to take the bar over?

376
00:16:18,438 --> 00:16:19,439
No, no, I'm fine.

377
00:16:19,506 --> 00:16:20,775
Oh, I get it. I get it.

378
00:16:20,841 --> 00:16:22,142
You'd rather be here
when he's back there, right?

379
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:23,912
Yeah, something like that.

380
00:16:23,979 --> 00:16:26,517
People don't have to
draw pictures for me, Sam,

381
00:16:26,584 --> 00:16:29,153
although I like it, but
they don't have to.

382
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,562
¡Venga, venga,
venga, Derek! ¡hah hah!

383
00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:36,198
Derek: ¡eh, jefe!

384
00:16:40,871 --> 00:16:42,808
Heh heh!

385
00:16:45,679 --> 00:16:46,848
Hee hee hee!

386
00:16:46,915 --> 00:16:48,149
What's your order?

387
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,954
Oh, Sam, he's not that great.

388
00:16:52,022 --> 00:16:54,760
The man can tell
an interesting story,

389
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:56,362
he's met a few
interesting people,

390
00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:58,499
but he's just a man,
like another man

391
00:16:58,566 --> 00:17:01,437
you'd meet in Greek mythology.

392
00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:05,108
What's your order?

393
00:17:05,175 --> 00:17:06,911
I don't have an order.

394
00:17:06,978 --> 00:17:08,848
I just thought maybe
you'd like to join the party.

395
00:17:08,914 --> 00:17:10,383
I'll take the bar.

396
00:17:10,451 --> 00:17:12,119
Come on, you go back
there and enjoy yourself.

397
00:17:12,186 --> 00:17:14,389
All right, wait,
believe it or not, Diane,

398
00:17:14,457 --> 00:17:16,259
I'm having a lot of fun

399
00:17:16,325 --> 00:17:18,195
just being out here by myself.

400
00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:20,867
I swear it does not bother me

401
00:17:20,933 --> 00:17:22,101
that my brother's here.

402
00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:23,136
Really?

403
00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:24,606
Really.

404
00:17:24,673 --> 00:17:26,709
Well, good.

405
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:29,045
I feel better telling
you about something.

406
00:17:29,112 --> 00:17:31,282
[Patrons shouting and laughing]

407
00:17:31,348 --> 00:17:34,287
Hey, Derek wants a
beer! Derek wants a beer!

408
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,457
Yeah, I'm buying. I'm
taking care of this one.

409
00:17:36,524 --> 00:17:38,059
No, I'm buying, come on!

410
00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:45,170
Derek: Oh, Sam. Sam,
I love this bar of yours,

411
00:17:45,237 --> 00:17:47,373
but you know the
best thing about it?

412
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,509
Its owner.

413
00:17:48,575 --> 00:17:51,213
[All cheering]

414
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,049
Coach: ¡arriba!

415
00:17:53,116 --> 00:17:54,383
Oh, thanks, Sam.

416
00:17:54,451 --> 00:17:55,653
Norm: Derek, one
more game of pool, huh?

417
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,322
You're on!

418
00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:05,869
You were about to
tell me something?

419
00:18:05,936 --> 00:18:07,939
Oh, well...

420
00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:10,008
Derek just wants to fly me out

421
00:18:10,075 --> 00:18:12,546
to Martha's vineyard
tonight. Heh!

422
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:18,387
In a plane or on his back?

423
00:18:18,454 --> 00:18:21,292
Well, he didn't
say specifically.

424
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,162
Oh, of course he was all excited

425
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:25,566
about the new lear
jet he just bought,

426
00:18:25,632 --> 00:18:26,834
but he just wants
to show it to me.

427
00:18:26,901 --> 00:18:27,969
It's not a date or anything.

428
00:18:28,035 --> 00:18:30,640
What if it is a date?
It's ok with me.

429
00:18:31,708 --> 00:18:33,177
Well, I just thought maybe

430
00:18:33,243 --> 00:18:34,379
you'd be bothered or something.

431
00:18:34,445 --> 00:18:35,581
Bothered?

432
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:37,650
Hey, I happen to have
a date myself tonight.

433
00:18:37,718 --> 00:18:39,654
It's a good night for it.

434
00:18:41,456 --> 00:18:43,325
Ok, if you're sure.

435
00:18:43,393 --> 00:18:44,928
Listen, I think you and Derek

436
00:18:44,995 --> 00:18:47,800
will make a great match.

437
00:18:47,866 --> 00:18:49,135
Really?

438
00:18:49,202 --> 00:18:50,670
Yeah, you both
think you're perfect,

439
00:18:50,737 --> 00:18:53,241
and one of you is right.

440
00:18:57,815 --> 00:18:59,951
You know what your
problem is, Mr. Malone?

441
00:19:00,018 --> 00:19:01,553
You are afraid of your feelings.

442
00:19:01,621 --> 00:19:03,556
I am not afraid of my feelings.

443
00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:05,226
I don't have any
feelings about this.

444
00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:07,362
Whatever you and my
brother Derek want to do

445
00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:09,934
is ok with me. I don't care.

446
00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:13,138
Fine.

447
00:19:13,204 --> 00:19:14,874
Please don't go.

448
00:19:15,976 --> 00:19:17,378
What?

449
00:19:19,514 --> 00:19:20,984
What did you say?

450
00:19:21,051 --> 00:19:23,888
I said I have no
feelings about this.

451
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,960
No, no, after that
you said something.

452
00:19:27,026 --> 00:19:29,463
It sounded like,
"please don't go."

453
00:19:29,529 --> 00:19:31,066
"Please don't go"?
Are you crazy?

454
00:19:31,132 --> 00:19:34,070
Come on, Diane, you gotta
get over this egotism of yours.

455
00:19:34,136 --> 00:19:36,675
Hey, come on, go!
Go with my blessings.

456
00:19:36,741 --> 00:19:38,811
Have a good time, really.

457
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,480
Ohh!

458
00:19:42,149 --> 00:19:44,286
Please stay here.

459
00:19:48,025 --> 00:19:50,361
Wait a minute.

460
00:19:50,428 --> 00:19:51,698
What was that?

461
00:19:51,764 --> 00:19:54,201
There at the end,
you said something.

462
00:19:54,267 --> 00:19:55,503
Hey, come on,
you're hallucinating.

463
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,705
Would you... Would
you get out of here

464
00:19:56,772 --> 00:19:58,107
and have a good time, please?

465
00:19:58,173 --> 00:19:59,509
Go on, go on!

466
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,245
Ohh!

467
00:20:01,312 --> 00:20:03,682
Ok, I'm glad you understand.

468
00:20:03,749 --> 00:20:05,819
You go, I'll die.

469
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:07,822
What?!

470
00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:10,526
Now I heard you say something!

471
00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:12,329
Hey, you're coming unglued!

472
00:20:12,395 --> 00:20:14,398
Please go. Have fun.

473
00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,335
Come on!

474
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:19,139
Ok, I'll go. There you go.

475
00:20:19,205 --> 00:20:22,244
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go freshen up.

476
00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:25,015
I'd rather stay with you.

477
00:20:25,082 --> 00:20:26,885
What? What'd you say?

478
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,489
I didn't hear anything.

479
00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:37,500
Sam, what do you say

480
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:39,837
we go to the combat
zone and see a girlie show?

481
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:42,708
No, I got a date
later on, coach.

482
00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:46,081
Well, maybe I'll go alone, huh?

483
00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:47,784
Uh, coach, I'd
rather you didn't.

484
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:48,851
It's kind of a tough
neighborhood.

485
00:20:48,918 --> 00:20:50,387
I think you need
some protection.

486
00:20:50,453 --> 00:20:51,923
Gee, you're right, Sam.

487
00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:54,794
What do you say, Carla?

488
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,629
Nah, not tonight, coach.

489
00:20:56,696 --> 00:20:59,267
Oh, well, maybe some
other time. Good night.

490
00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:00,870
Good night.

491
00:21:00,937 --> 00:21:02,571
Carla: See you tomorrow, Sam.

492
00:21:02,639 --> 00:21:04,274
Yeah.

493
00:21:04,341 --> 00:21:06,211
Hey, Sam, want me to hang around

494
00:21:06,277 --> 00:21:07,546
till your date gets here?

495
00:21:07,613 --> 00:21:08,816
No, you probably
want to get on home.

496
00:21:08,882 --> 00:21:10,952
Are you kidding? It's 2 A.M.

497
00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:12,822
My kids might be there.

498
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:19,231
Sammy, would you
just tell me one thing?

499
00:21:19,297 --> 00:21:21,034
What do you see in her?

500
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,736
Who?

501
00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:26,175
"Who?" the one
who is off on a lear jet

502
00:21:26,242 --> 00:21:27,777
with your brother.

503
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:31,383
The one who can't
stop talking, the geek.

504
00:21:31,450 --> 00:21:33,319
Carla, I know she's not perfect.

505
00:21:33,386 --> 00:21:35,056
I know she talks too much,

506
00:21:35,122 --> 00:21:38,594
and she's all those
things you said,

507
00:21:38,661 --> 00:21:40,464
but there are times
when I'm with her,

508
00:21:40,530 --> 00:21:42,333
she just...

509
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,771
Irritates the hell out of me.

510
00:21:45,838 --> 00:21:47,407
That's what you're looking for?

511
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:48,943
Maybe it is, I don't know.

512
00:21:49,010 --> 00:21:50,179
Hey, I know what you mean.

513
00:21:50,245 --> 00:21:52,482
You know, I'm always
falling for guys I hate.

514
00:21:52,548 --> 00:21:54,751
My whole life has
been the wrong man

515
00:21:54,818 --> 00:21:56,688
at the wrong time
and the wrong place

516
00:21:56,754 --> 00:21:59,626
with the wrong
birth-control device.

517
00:22:09,641 --> 00:22:10,911
Sam.

518
00:22:10,977 --> 00:22:12,145
Yeah?

519
00:22:12,212 --> 00:22:14,849
You ever thought,

520
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,986
even for a minute,

521
00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:19,289
about you and me?

522
00:22:19,356 --> 00:22:21,860
Sure I have, Carla.

523
00:22:21,928 --> 00:22:23,596
A recent minute?

524
00:22:25,065 --> 00:22:26,267
Carla, I was always afraid

525
00:22:26,334 --> 00:22:28,470
you'd be too much woman for me.

526
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:34,813
You're a wise man, Sam Malone.

527
00:22:46,565 --> 00:22:48,068
Hi, Sam.

528
00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,104
Oh, hi, Debbie.

529
00:22:50,171 --> 00:22:52,674
Boy, am I glad you
could make it tonight.

530
00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:54,310
Yeah, well, it really
isn't very fair of you

531
00:22:54,377 --> 00:22:57,214
to call me at the
last minute like that.

532
00:22:57,281 --> 00:23:00,486
It's a good thing my
boyfriend's a heavy sleeper.

533
00:23:03,524 --> 00:23:06,261
Well, I just didn't feel like...

534
00:23:06,328 --> 00:23:08,131
Feel like being alone tonight.

535
00:23:08,198 --> 00:23:10,267
Well, what do you want to do?

536
00:23:10,334 --> 00:23:13,406
I want to do something
with just the two of us.

537
00:23:13,472 --> 00:23:15,942
I don't want to think
about anything or anybody

538
00:23:16,010 --> 00:23:17,545
but the two of
us all night long.

539
00:23:17,612 --> 00:23:19,415
Wow.

540
00:23:20,683 --> 00:23:24,556
[Jet plane passing overhead]