1 00:00:06,743 --> 00:00:10,811 You know, Sam, this is my favorite time of day. 2 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,577 What's that, coach, closing time? 3 00:00:12,611 --> 00:00:14,245 No. 1:37. 4 00:00:14,278 --> 00:00:16,578 I don't know. There's just something about it. 5 00:00:16,612 --> 00:00:18,345 I know what you mean. 6 00:00:18,378 --> 00:00:22,079 I suppose we've all got our favorite 1:37 story. 7 00:00:22,113 --> 00:00:25,479 What's your favorite time of day, Sam? 8 00:00:25,513 --> 00:00:27,280 I don't know. 9 00:00:27,314 --> 00:00:28,913 8:15 is nice. 10 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,647 I used to like 8:15. 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,548 I think I kind of grew out of it. 12 00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:38,182 Hey, wait a minute! 13 00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:39,848 Coach, Sammy. 14 00:00:39,881 --> 00:00:41,049 Hey, I don't want to be left alone 15 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,582 locked up in this bar all night... 16 00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,917 Quarter to 3:00 17 00:00:55,218 --> 00:00:59,085 no one in the bar except you and me 18 00:01:01,152 --> 00:01:03,919 ahh. 19 00:01:03,952 --> 00:01:04,819 Once in a while, 20 00:01:04,852 --> 00:01:07,020 a man needs a little time to himself. 21 00:01:13,487 --> 00:01:15,754 Making your way in the world today 22 00:01:15,787 --> 00:01:18,954 takes everything you've got 23 00:01:18,988 --> 00:01:21,622 taking a break from all your worries 24 00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:25,089 sure would help a lot 25 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:30,923 wouldn't you like to get away 26 00:01:30,956 --> 00:01:32,790 sometimes you wanna go 27 00:01:32,824 --> 00:01:38,325 where everybody knows your name 28 00:01:38,358 --> 00:01:42,891 and they're always glad you came 29 00:01:42,925 --> 00:01:45,292 you wanna be where you can see 30 00:01:45,326 --> 00:01:48,060 our troubles are all the same 31 00:01:48,093 --> 00:01:53,228 you wanna be where everybody konws your name 32 00:01:53,261 --> 00:01:55,860 you wanna go where people know 33 00:01:55,893 --> 00:01:58,428 people are all the same 34 00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:02,562 you wanna go where everybody knows your name 35 00:02:22,698 --> 00:02:23,498 Evening, everybody. 36 00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:25,365 Norm! Norm! 37 00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:26,466 Norman. 38 00:02:26,499 --> 00:02:27,499 Beer, norm? 39 00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,566 Nah. I'd probably just drink it. 40 00:02:29,599 --> 00:02:31,167 So what's new, norm? 41 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,866 Well, I just came from a late lunch 42 00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:36,267 at the copley Plaza. 43 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,834 You had lunch at the copley? 44 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,601 Yeah. Took a prospective employer there. 45 00:02:40,635 --> 00:02:42,001 Kind of courting the guy. 46 00:02:42,035 --> 00:02:42,968 So what'd you have for lunch? 47 00:02:43,002 --> 00:02:46,702 The rack of lamb for two. 48 00:02:46,736 --> 00:02:47,702 Don't remember what he had. 49 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,769 I saw Teddy Kennedy over there. 50 00:02:52,802 --> 00:02:55,303 Whoa! Norman, really? 51 00:02:55,337 --> 00:02:58,404 I still say that Kennedy will be president some day. 52 00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:00,604 Oh, now, wait. Now, wait. 53 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,039 Maybe the next time. 54 00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:04,139 You know how politicians are. 55 00:03:04,172 --> 00:03:05,005 This doesn't make sense. 56 00:03:05,039 --> 00:03:07,805 No, I really don't think so there, Diane. 57 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:10,872 I've got a pet little theory about that. 58 00:03:10,905 --> 00:03:12,573 You see, if you go back in history 59 00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:14,306 and take every president, 60 00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:17,706 you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their last name 61 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:21,441 was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. 62 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,008 So who's going to win, cliff? 63 00:03:26,042 --> 00:03:28,076 Reagan again? 64 00:03:28,109 --> 00:03:28,808 No, not a chance. 65 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,309 I figured it out. 66 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:33,176 By my calculations, our next president 67 00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:38,877 has to be named gelnick mcwawa. 68 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:40,777 That's the stupidest name I've ever heard. 69 00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:41,910 Sam, please. 70 00:03:41,944 --> 00:03:43,211 You're talking about our next president. 71 00:03:45,478 --> 00:03:47,945 So, norm... 72 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,779 What was Kennedy doing at the copley? 73 00:03:50,812 --> 00:03:52,113 Having lunch. 74 00:03:52,146 --> 00:03:53,446 I got his autograph. 75 00:03:53,479 --> 00:03:55,480 You disturbed him during his lunch? 76 00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:58,048 No. God! 77 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,548 I waited till he went to the men's room. 78 00:04:01,581 --> 00:04:05,015 "Marty broder"? 79 00:04:05,049 --> 00:04:06,948 I got the wrong stall. I don't know. 80 00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:18,616 Ho, cliff! Isn't that tibor svetkovic? 81 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:19,916 Svetkovic? Where? 82 00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:22,884 Oh, yeah. That's svetkovic all right. 83 00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:25,252 Based on the fact that he has a long name 84 00:04:25,285 --> 00:04:26,617 that you can all pronounce, 85 00:04:26,651 --> 00:04:28,885 it's my guess he's an athlete... 86 00:04:28,918 --> 00:04:31,319 Or will he be president in 1990? 87 00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:33,219 Oh, Diane. 88 00:04:33,253 --> 00:04:36,753 The man was czechoslovakia's greatest hockey player. 89 00:04:36,786 --> 00:04:39,454 He defected to us just to play in the NHL. 90 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,820 It's an incredible story, actually. 91 00:04:40,854 --> 00:04:43,320 He dressed up as a woman, 92 00:04:43,354 --> 00:04:44,820 hid in a haystack, 93 00:04:44,854 --> 00:04:47,555 crawled on his belly under barbed wire, 94 00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,688 swam a couple of rivers 95 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:50,788 and stowed away on a tramp steamer just to get here. 96 00:04:50,821 --> 00:04:52,189 That's amazing. 97 00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:55,989 The next week, the rest of his team came over on the concorde. 98 00:04:56,023 --> 00:04:58,623 That's what he gets for not reading his schedule. 99 00:04:58,657 --> 00:05:01,790 Well, nobody said he was a smart hockey player. 100 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,490 Is this my day or what, huh? 101 00:05:03,523 --> 00:05:07,091 First Teddy Kennedy and now tibor svetkovic. 102 00:05:07,124 --> 00:05:08,658 You'd better memorize his shoes, norm. 103 00:05:08,691 --> 00:05:10,591 You might want to get his autograph later, you know? 104 00:05:12,259 --> 00:05:13,959 Tibor. I see you play all the time. 105 00:05:13,992 --> 00:05:15,692 I'm Sam Malone. 106 00:05:15,725 --> 00:05:18,093 Your problem may be too much caffeine. 107 00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:19,726 I'm sorry. What? 108 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,860 He's learning English from television commercials. 109 00:05:22,893 --> 00:05:24,794 Ah. 110 00:05:24,827 --> 00:05:27,128 And who are you? 111 00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:28,228 I'm Lana Marshall. 112 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,228 I'm tibor's commercial agent. 113 00:05:30,262 --> 00:05:31,495 Is that right? Well I'm Sam Malone, 114 00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,029 I'm kind of the boss here. 115 00:05:33,063 --> 00:05:35,363 Oh, you're the boss. 116 00:05:35,396 --> 00:05:37,096 You going to tell me what to do? 117 00:05:39,097 --> 00:05:41,863 Something tells me you know what to do. 118 00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:43,564 I know what I like to do. 119 00:05:43,597 --> 00:05:45,497 Well, that's nice. I like a lady who knows 120 00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:46,497 what she likes to do 121 00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,098 and does what she likes. 122 00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:51,898 The mating ritual of the horny-breasted lounge lizard. 123 00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:55,466 Two beers. 124 00:05:55,499 --> 00:05:57,266 Let me take care of you two here. 125 00:05:57,299 --> 00:05:59,766 Tibor, uh, Miller time? 126 00:05:59,799 --> 00:06:03,067 Ah, TV. Yes, sir. 127 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,767 What can I do for you? 128 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:05,867 What's your specialty? 129 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:09,434 I do everything the same... great. 130 00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:11,102 Then why don't you surprise me? 131 00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:12,401 It'd be my pleasure. 132 00:06:12,434 --> 00:06:13,535 Mine, too, I hope. 133 00:06:13,569 --> 00:06:15,102 I'll be right back. 134 00:06:15,135 --> 00:06:17,335 I'll be right here. 135 00:06:17,369 --> 00:06:19,802 She'll be here, he'll be back and I'll be sick. 136 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:30,038 So, you get jobs for professional athletes 137 00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:31,737 to be in commercials, huh? 138 00:06:31,771 --> 00:06:36,106 Yes. As a matter of fact, I specialize in male athletes. 139 00:06:36,139 --> 00:06:38,638 Don't you know who you were just talking to? 140 00:06:38,672 --> 00:06:40,173 That's Sam Malone. 141 00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:42,806 Cute guy. Too bad he has dandruff. 142 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,075 He used to play with the Red Sox. 143 00:06:51,108 --> 00:06:52,441 Really? 144 00:06:52,475 --> 00:06:53,841 Who does he play with now? 145 00:06:54,908 --> 00:06:56,508 Whoa! 146 00:06:56,541 --> 00:07:00,876 You know, you give broads a good name. 147 00:07:04,776 --> 00:07:06,743 Excuse me. 148 00:07:06,777 --> 00:07:10,278 Could I ask you a question about your boss? 149 00:07:10,311 --> 00:07:14,444 Ah, the king of the single entendre? 150 00:07:14,478 --> 00:07:16,445 Tell me, does he have a wife... 151 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,779 Or worse, someone he cares about? 152 00:07:21,146 --> 00:07:23,513 He's available... 153 00:07:23,546 --> 00:07:28,314 And very desirable, if lummox is your cup of tea. 154 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,846 And it appears to be. 155 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,148 Tibor, I think it's time to get to the garden. 156 00:07:34,182 --> 00:07:36,615 Uh-oh! I'm late. 157 00:07:39,182 --> 00:07:41,748 After game, your room? 158 00:07:41,782 --> 00:07:44,149 No, tibor. I think I'm going to be busy tonight. 159 00:07:44,183 --> 00:07:47,150 Ok. Good-bye. 160 00:07:47,184 --> 00:07:50,384 And this concludes another day of programming. 161 00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:53,151 Sooner or later, you'll own generals. 162 00:07:55,718 --> 00:07:58,152 Poor guy should really think about wearing a helmet, you know? 163 00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,353 I understand you were an athlete. 164 00:08:09,387 --> 00:08:11,287 I'm sorry. I don't remember you. 165 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,288 Oh, that's all right. I was a relief pitcher 166 00:08:13,321 --> 00:08:14,820 before they became famous. 167 00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:16,354 I missed it by a year. 168 00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:19,055 Tell me, have you done any acting? 169 00:08:19,089 --> 00:08:23,289 Well, you know, yeah, I have. I had the lead in a school play. 170 00:08:23,322 --> 00:08:26,556 The one about the evil woman who pushes her husband 171 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,156 into getting rid of people so he can have more and more power. 172 00:08:29,190 --> 00:08:30,890 You mean Macbeth? 173 00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:35,457 No, uh, how boots fooled the king. 174 00:08:35,491 --> 00:08:38,392 Is that what Macbeth was about? 175 00:08:38,425 --> 00:08:39,758 Tibor's looking better, isn't he? 176 00:08:45,393 --> 00:08:48,593 Excuse me, I'll be right back. 177 00:08:48,626 --> 00:08:51,427 Hey, Diane, we're talking here. 178 00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,860 She's talking. You're killing time between thoughts. 179 00:08:54,894 --> 00:08:57,627 You got a problem? 180 00:08:57,660 --> 00:09:00,961 Look, Sam. Just watch it, ok? 181 00:09:00,995 --> 00:09:03,628 She's not one of your usual bimboettes. 182 00:09:03,661 --> 00:09:05,096 That's what I like about her. 183 00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,696 She's got a lot of class. 184 00:09:07,729 --> 00:09:11,063 While I have never been a big fan of the women you date, 185 00:09:11,097 --> 00:09:14,430 I will say that at least they were too stupid to be harmful. 186 00:09:14,463 --> 00:09:16,398 I knew they'd grow on you. 187 00:09:21,531 --> 00:09:24,299 Is there something between you two? 188 00:09:24,332 --> 00:09:27,799 No, that's, uh, that's just business. 189 00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:31,566 I never mix in her personal life and she mixes in mine. 190 00:09:33,666 --> 00:09:35,766 Sam, I've just been talking to my secretary 191 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,201 about the winter schedule 192 00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:40,734 and I think there might be some commercials you might do very well. 193 00:09:42,335 --> 00:09:44,068 Me? You're kidding? 194 00:09:44,102 --> 00:09:47,035 No. You have a very sexy, playful quality 195 00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:51,169 that I'm sure would come across on camera. 196 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:54,337 Now, wait a minute. I haven't played baseball for years. 197 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:56,337 I'm not exactly a household name. 198 00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:58,205 Non-star athletes are in vogue. 199 00:09:58,237 --> 00:10:00,870 They come across as regular people. 200 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:03,405 What do you say, Sam? 201 00:10:03,438 --> 00:10:06,206 Gee, uh, I've got to think about that a little bit. 202 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,572 Come on, Sam. Do it, you're a natural! 203 00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:12,006 Look at you. You're tall, you're handsome, you got a great smile. 204 00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:13,140 Show her your smile. 205 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,208 I'll be damned. Who the hell was I thinking of? 206 00:10:21,641 --> 00:10:24,608 You know, I have to admit, 207 00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:27,509 all these years watching those commercials, 208 00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,442 I always thought that I might be pretty good at it. 209 00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:31,243 Let's do it. 210 00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:32,210 Wonderful. 211 00:10:33,643 --> 00:10:37,043 Look, I'm staying at the ritz. 212 00:10:37,077 --> 00:10:38,976 Why don't you come over later, 213 00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:42,444 and we'll work out the details. 214 00:10:42,477 --> 00:10:44,977 Uh, I don't get off until 2. 215 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:49,912 All the better. 216 00:10:49,945 --> 00:10:51,679 All these people at the bar, 217 00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:53,679 and no one introduced us. 218 00:10:53,713 --> 00:10:57,046 Uh, no, they didn't. 219 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,247 I'd like to thank each and every one of them. 220 00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:05,248 Me, too. 221 00:11:11,816 --> 00:11:13,649 And now, for field's light beer, 222 00:11:13,682 --> 00:11:17,217 former Red Sox starting pitcher Luis tiant. 223 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,450 After the game, I like to sit back, 224 00:11:19,483 --> 00:11:21,118 light up a cigar, 225 00:11:21,151 --> 00:11:22,917 and enjoy a field's light beer. 226 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:23,751 Hey, Luis. 227 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:24,851 Hey, Sam. 228 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:27,851 When you get to be my age, 30, 229 00:11:27,884 --> 00:11:30,619 you don't want to get filled up. 230 00:11:30,652 --> 00:11:32,752 That's why I drink field's beer. 231 00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:34,253 It's refreshing, it's satisfying, 232 00:11:34,286 --> 00:11:36,952 and you don't full feel with field's, 233 00:11:36,985 --> 00:11:40,453 you just full fine. 234 00:11:40,486 --> 00:11:44,121 Full feel with field's. You full fine. 235 00:11:44,154 --> 00:11:46,687 Sorry, Luis. I don't think you've got it today. 236 00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:47,654 I'm going to have to pull you. 237 00:11:47,687 --> 00:11:48,787 Skipper, let me stay. 238 00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:50,255 Sorry, big guy. 239 00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:55,689 Go get 'em, mayday. 240 00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:59,090 Now pitching, Sam "mayday" Malone. 241 00:11:59,124 --> 00:12:01,989 Field's... it's refreshing. It's satisfying. 242 00:12:02,023 --> 00:12:03,990 And you don't feel full with field's. 243 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,724 You just feel fine. 244 00:12:05,757 --> 00:12:07,525 All right! 245 00:12:07,558 --> 00:12:08,291 Another save. 246 00:12:10,491 --> 00:12:12,492 I still get the win, right? 247 00:12:14,759 --> 00:12:16,792 Yeah, Sammy! 248 00:12:16,826 --> 00:12:19,692 You were great! 249 00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:22,227 Coach, two bottles of field's, right here. 250 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:25,428 Normally, I wouldn't use that stuff to shampoo my dog, 251 00:12:25,461 --> 00:12:28,361 but Sammy, you just sold me. 252 00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:30,928 Sam, you could sell me ice cubes in the middle of summer. 253 00:12:30,961 --> 00:12:33,395 You're in show biz now, huh? 254 00:12:33,429 --> 00:12:36,362 You're a star. 255 00:12:36,395 --> 00:12:38,895 Sam, Sam... 256 00:12:38,929 --> 00:12:40,596 Could you introduce me to gene Tierney? 257 00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:43,197 I don't know gene Tierney, coach. 258 00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:46,030 Ok, be that way. 259 00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:48,497 Come on, Sammy. How about a speech from the big actor? 260 00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:52,031 Yeah. How did it feel to see yourself up there, Sammy? 261 00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:52,765 It was nice. 262 00:12:52,798 --> 00:12:54,732 It was very nice, ok? 263 00:12:54,765 --> 00:12:56,433 Oh, I was afraid of this, Sam. 264 00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:59,566 We're going to have to sedate the man. He's hysterical. 265 00:12:59,599 --> 00:13:01,899 Sam, if there's anything you want to talk about, 266 00:13:01,933 --> 00:13:03,467 get off your chest... 267 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:06,467 There's nothing I want to talk about. I'm as giddy as a schoolgirl, alright? 268 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,368 Now, just wait on some tables, please. 269 00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:11,435 Fine. 270 00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:14,801 Hey, Sammy, that agent of yours is hotter than a pistol, huh? 271 00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,502 She's really earning her 10%. 272 00:13:16,536 --> 00:13:18,302 Hey, listen, will you just leave me alone! 273 00:13:18,336 --> 00:13:20,836 Please? Everybody, you got that? Leave me alone! 274 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,603 Sam, let's talk. 275 00:13:26,637 --> 00:13:28,504 There's nothing to talk about. 276 00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:29,870 It's important. 277 00:13:29,903 --> 00:13:31,671 Come back to the office now. 278 00:13:31,704 --> 00:13:33,438 Uh-oh! 279 00:13:33,471 --> 00:13:37,272 Sammy's in trouble with miss chambers again. 280 00:13:37,305 --> 00:13:43,606 Sammy's in trouble with miss chambers 281 00:13:50,641 --> 00:13:54,575 Sammy's in trouble with miss chambers... 282 00:13:54,608 --> 00:13:56,242 What? What do you want? 283 00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:57,975 Sam, you're obviously unhappy 284 00:13:58,008 --> 00:14:00,343 and everybody just wants to know why. 285 00:14:00,376 --> 00:14:01,243 I'm not unhappy. 286 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:03,376 You're not? 287 00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:05,244 No. 288 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,976 You're happy with the commercials? 289 00:14:08,009 --> 00:14:08,310 Yes. 290 00:14:09,744 --> 00:14:12,378 Do you think you were good? 291 00:14:12,411 --> 00:14:13,645 Yes. 292 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:14,378 Really? 293 00:14:14,411 --> 00:14:15,345 Yes! 294 00:14:18,045 --> 00:14:19,279 Well, what is it then? 295 00:14:21,379 --> 00:14:24,380 Are you happy with the money? 296 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:27,713 Yes. 297 00:14:27,747 --> 00:14:28,680 Are you happy with the auditions? 298 00:14:28,713 --> 00:14:30,281 Yes. 299 00:14:30,314 --> 00:14:31,913 Are you happy with your agent? 300 00:14:31,947 --> 00:14:33,381 Oh, god! 301 00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:39,382 Aha. The dragon lady. 302 00:14:40,449 --> 00:14:42,349 Tell me about it. 303 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,483 Why? You want to hear me say you were right? 304 00:14:45,516 --> 00:14:48,716 Of course not! 305 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,417 Knowing that, and knowing that you know it 306 00:14:50,451 --> 00:14:52,417 and are tortured by it, 307 00:14:52,451 --> 00:14:56,485 is plenty for this country girl. 308 00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:58,951 Oh, I'm sorry. 309 00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:00,652 I am sorry. 310 00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:01,852 I do want to help. 311 00:15:01,885 --> 00:15:03,319 Come on. Let's talk. 312 00:15:06,419 --> 00:15:12,020 You want to hear about my relationship with another woman? 313 00:15:12,053 --> 00:15:12,854 Well... 314 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,655 Maybe, uh... 315 00:15:16,688 --> 00:15:18,455 Maybe I should find a man out there 316 00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:21,855 who's intellectually capable of helping you. 317 00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,256 All right. Everybody line up 318 00:15:24,289 --> 00:15:26,856 for the ugliest tongue contest! 319 00:15:27,989 --> 00:15:29,856 Alphabetically by height, over here! 320 00:15:34,191 --> 00:15:37,224 It appears that all the other intellectuals are busy. 321 00:15:39,791 --> 00:15:41,958 You sure you want to hear this? 322 00:15:41,991 --> 00:15:44,759 I'll stop you before I get the vapors. 323 00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:49,726 You see, my... My relationship... 324 00:15:52,026 --> 00:15:55,093 Lana and I are a lot friendlier 325 00:15:55,127 --> 00:15:58,861 than most agents and clients. 326 00:15:58,894 --> 00:16:00,061 Friendlier? 327 00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:01,262 You know me. 328 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:04,595 I mean, I'm never against a wild night of friend-making. 329 00:16:07,729 --> 00:16:08,696 There's something... 330 00:16:08,729 --> 00:16:10,263 I mean, now I feel 331 00:16:10,296 --> 00:16:13,896 that I'm supposed to be friendly on demand. 332 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:17,497 And you're afraid that she'll stop getting you commercials 333 00:16:17,530 --> 00:16:21,898 if you stop being friendly. 334 00:16:21,931 --> 00:16:22,531 You see... 335 00:16:23,931 --> 00:16:27,499 When you play in the bigs like I did, 336 00:16:27,532 --> 00:16:29,133 you get used to a lot of attention. 337 00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:30,999 And when I stopped playing baseball, 338 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,900 I felt like there was something missing in my life 339 00:16:33,933 --> 00:16:35,767 and I was just hoping that these commercials 340 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,833 would get it back for me. 341 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:42,401 Sam, Lana gave me a message for you, but I can't remember it. 342 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:43,601 Lana's here? 343 00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:45,669 That's it. 344 00:16:45,702 --> 00:16:48,270 Oh, by the way, what are you two doing here? 345 00:16:48,302 --> 00:16:50,503 Sam, we got a lot of customers out there. 346 00:16:50,536 --> 00:16:53,970 Coach, I got a problem and Diane's helping me talk through it. 347 00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:56,271 Look, Sam. Let me tell you something. 348 00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:58,637 You've faced a lot of tough problems, right? 349 00:16:58,671 --> 00:17:00,071 And you always found a solution, 350 00:17:00,104 --> 00:17:03,572 but ever since sir Isaac Hayes came along... 351 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:06,572 No offense, Diane. I love sir Isaac Hayes. 352 00:17:06,605 --> 00:17:07,972 But, Sam, since then, 353 00:17:08,005 --> 00:17:10,406 it's been talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. 354 00:17:10,439 --> 00:17:13,006 But this is a pretty complicated problem, coach. 355 00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:17,407 You see, Sam wants to break up with Lana, 356 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,274 and he knows he should, 357 00:17:19,307 --> 00:17:22,208 but he's afraid that he will sacrifice 358 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:24,341 his acting career. 359 00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:25,275 You see? 360 00:17:25,308 --> 00:17:26,375 I don't understand what's going on here. 361 00:17:26,408 --> 00:17:27,476 Let me show you something, Sam. 362 00:17:27,509 --> 00:17:28,176 Come right down here. 363 00:17:28,209 --> 00:17:29,075 Coach, look... 364 00:17:29,108 --> 00:17:30,909 Just please, come right down here. 365 00:17:30,942 --> 00:17:31,809 Stand right here, Sam. 366 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,909 Here. Pick that up. 367 00:17:33,942 --> 00:17:35,410 What do you want me to pick this up for? 368 00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:37,210 Just pick it up. 369 00:17:39,178 --> 00:17:41,444 Ow! 370 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,811 Now, get the hell out there, 371 00:17:43,844 --> 00:17:45,411 and tell her that you're finished with her. 372 00:17:45,444 --> 00:17:47,744 Will you please tell him that it's more complicated... 373 00:17:47,778 --> 00:17:49,912 Out! Out! Hustle! Hustle! 374 00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,779 What do you want me to do? 375 00:17:51,812 --> 00:17:53,413 Hustle! Hustle! I mean it! 376 00:17:54,813 --> 00:17:57,214 That was wonderful. 377 00:17:57,246 --> 00:17:59,713 Coach, somehow your instincts just told you... 378 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,947 Button it up, Diane! 379 00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,747 There's a lot of people out there. Move it! 380 00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:05,215 Right, right, right. 381 00:18:10,748 --> 00:18:14,048 Tell me something, red. 382 00:18:14,082 --> 00:18:15,683 Are professional athletes 383 00:18:15,716 --> 00:18:17,616 better between the old wamsuttas. 384 00:18:17,649 --> 00:18:18,517 Than ordinary men? 385 00:18:20,284 --> 00:18:22,850 I've had no experience with ordinary men. 386 00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:23,850 Oh, me neither, 387 00:18:23,884 --> 00:18:28,251 but I'm trying to work my way up to one. 388 00:18:28,285 --> 00:18:30,618 Believe me, athletes take their pants off 389 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,818 one leg at a time 390 00:18:31,851 --> 00:18:34,152 just like anybody else. 391 00:18:34,186 --> 00:18:37,487 They take off their pants? 392 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,253 Whoa! 393 00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:45,888 Hey, I'm really glad you're here. 394 00:18:45,921 --> 00:18:47,988 There's something very important I want to talk to you about. 395 00:18:48,021 --> 00:18:50,088 Sam, what do you think of your commercial? 396 00:18:50,121 --> 00:18:52,289 It was fine. Listen, I... 397 00:18:52,322 --> 00:18:53,822 I thought it was wonderful. 398 00:18:53,855 --> 00:18:56,456 I've had a lot of calls about you. 399 00:18:56,490 --> 00:18:57,623 Calls? 400 00:18:57,656 --> 00:19:00,990 A lot of people saw you, and they liked what they saw. 401 00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:05,624 One of those calls was an offer for you. 402 00:19:05,657 --> 00:19:07,192 A national commercial. 403 00:19:07,225 --> 00:19:10,692 It's big money and they want to fly you to Hawaii. 404 00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:13,293 And you're going to do the commercial with the osmonds. 405 00:19:13,325 --> 00:19:16,125 The osmonds? 406 00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:17,359 The whole family? 407 00:19:17,393 --> 00:19:18,059 That's right. 408 00:19:18,092 --> 00:19:20,693 Even little Jimmy? 409 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:24,994 Well, we're hoping. Now, come on. 410 00:19:25,027 --> 00:19:27,127 Wasn't there something that I wanted to say to you? 411 00:19:27,161 --> 00:19:28,695 Now, now, later, later. 412 00:19:28,728 --> 00:19:30,361 We've got to get some pictures for you, 413 00:19:30,395 --> 00:19:32,561 and we really should buy you a new sport jacket 414 00:19:32,595 --> 00:19:36,529 and afterwards, we can stop off at the hotel for a bite... 415 00:19:36,562 --> 00:19:38,197 And a nibble... 416 00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:39,462 And a scratch. 417 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:41,962 Coach. 418 00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:45,063 Sam, I'm getting real mad now! 419 00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:47,264 No, no, no. 420 00:19:47,298 --> 00:19:51,199 Lana... lana, uh, we can't nibble anymore. 421 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,232 Why? 422 00:19:53,265 --> 00:19:55,799 I just don't feel right about it. 423 00:19:58,433 --> 00:19:59,132 I see. 424 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,866 Does this mean that you're no longer my agent? 425 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:07,901 Sam! What kind of person would I have to be 426 00:20:07,934 --> 00:20:11,502 to drop you as a client just because of this? 427 00:20:11,535 --> 00:20:12,767 A dragon lady. 428 00:20:12,801 --> 00:20:15,702 I'm no dragon lady. 429 00:20:15,735 --> 00:20:16,402 Good, good. 430 00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:19,336 But I am going to drop you. 431 00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:21,303 I've learned from past experience 432 00:20:21,336 --> 00:20:24,404 that once you've had an intimate relationship with a client, 433 00:20:24,437 --> 00:20:27,937 you can't go back to being just business associates. 434 00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,570 Perhaps it's time for me to find a new face. 435 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,271 Hey, my face is new. 436 00:20:33,305 --> 00:20:35,938 Good. You still have time to return it. 437 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,539 She's good, Sammy. 438 00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:44,240 So, uh, that's it, huh? 439 00:20:44,273 --> 00:20:45,707 Yep. 440 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:49,241 Well, good luck in finding a replacement for me in a Hawaii commercial. 441 00:20:49,274 --> 00:20:53,308 If it takes me longer than six minutes, I'll quit. 442 00:20:53,341 --> 00:20:55,108 Oh, boy, she is good. 443 00:20:56,908 --> 00:20:59,042 May I ask you a question? 444 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:05,176 Want to know how he was? 445 00:21:05,210 --> 00:21:09,411 Wh... what? 446 00:21:09,444 --> 00:21:10,711 You really think I'm going to stand here 447 00:21:10,744 --> 00:21:14,677 and listen to you tell me how good Sam was? 448 00:21:15,911 --> 00:21:17,011 Fair? 449 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:22,446 What do you want to know? 450 00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,946 I want to know how you can live with yourself. 451 00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:29,514 I can't. That's why I like having young athletes around. 452 00:21:29,547 --> 00:21:32,080 I've always been crazy about them. 453 00:21:32,114 --> 00:21:33,381 You know, sometimes when I'm with one, 454 00:21:33,415 --> 00:21:37,848 I swear I can actually hear the crowd cheering. 455 00:21:40,148 --> 00:21:42,148 You know, I could understand this kind of behavior 456 00:21:42,182 --> 00:21:45,616 from an oversexed adolescent or something, 457 00:21:45,649 --> 00:21:47,617 but you're... 458 00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:49,417 An older woman? 459 00:21:49,450 --> 00:21:50,750 Middle-aged? 460 00:21:50,783 --> 00:21:54,218 All the more reason to grab some youth. 461 00:21:54,251 --> 00:21:55,684 You know, there was a time in my life 462 00:21:55,718 --> 00:21:58,684 when men would invent little tricks and schemes 463 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,018 to get my attention. 464 00:22:00,051 --> 00:22:03,452 Well, now I'm the one who schemes a little to get theirs. 465 00:22:03,485 --> 00:22:06,486 That's not too unfair, is it? 466 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,052 But don't be too concerned. 467 00:22:08,085 --> 00:22:11,120 Someday even that won't work. 468 00:22:12,354 --> 00:22:13,787 Don't judge me 469 00:22:13,821 --> 00:22:16,987 until the bloom is off your Rose, honey. 470 00:22:17,021 --> 00:22:18,021 Ta-ta. 471 00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:23,555 She is good. 472 00:22:27,923 --> 00:22:30,656 Field's... it's refreshing, it's satisfying, 473 00:22:30,689 --> 00:22:32,657 and you don't feel full with field's, 474 00:22:32,690 --> 00:22:34,124 you just feel fine. 475 00:22:34,157 --> 00:22:35,890 Hey! Hey! All right! 476 00:22:35,924 --> 00:22:37,491 Another save. 477 00:22:37,525 --> 00:22:38,925 [Laughter] 478 00:22:42,259 --> 00:22:45,692 Come on. Admit it. I was good. 479 00:22:45,726 --> 00:22:48,227 Hey! Come on. Say it. I was good. 480 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:49,659 You were ok. 481 00:22:49,692 --> 00:22:50,859 I wasn't ok, I was good. 482 00:22:50,892 --> 00:22:53,260 What's it going to do? Kill you to admit that I was good? 483 00:22:55,827 --> 00:22:57,093 All right. 484 00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,294 You were... 485 00:22:58,328 --> 00:22:59,294 G... 486 00:22:59,328 --> 00:23:00,295 Good. 487 00:23:00,329 --> 00:23:01,295 G... g... 488 00:23:01,329 --> 00:23:02,429 Good. 489 00:23:03,495 --> 00:23:06,495 You were ok. 490 00:23:06,529 --> 00:23:07,230 You were good. 491 00:23:07,263 --> 00:23:09,796 And you did the right thing. 492 00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:11,129 Thanks. Hey. 493 00:23:12,663 --> 00:23:14,531 Listen, before you came to work at this bar, 494 00:23:14,564 --> 00:23:20,131 I never thought that much about morality and integrity. 495 00:23:20,164 --> 00:23:21,298 You made me aware of all that stuff 496 00:23:21,332 --> 00:23:23,565 for the first time. 497 00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:25,865 Thank you, Sam. 498 00:23:25,898 --> 00:23:27,098 That's why I'm firing you. 499 00:23:27,132 --> 00:23:29,633 You can leave your apron right there.