1 00:00:06,645 --> 00:00:08,046 [Telephone rings] 2 00:00:08,046 --> 00:00:11,250 Cliff, answer that for me, will you? 3 00:00:11,250 --> 00:00:12,551 You betcha, coach. 4 00:00:12,551 --> 00:00:15,154 [Ring] 5 00:00:15,154 --> 00:00:16,555 Cheers. 6 00:00:16,555 --> 00:00:18,457 Carla? Yeah. 7 00:00:18,457 --> 00:00:19,792 Carla! It's for you! 8 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,794 Sounds like trouble with the kids. 9 00:00:21,794 --> 00:00:23,262 I'm not here! 10 00:00:23,262 --> 00:00:24,429 Carla! 11 00:00:24,429 --> 00:00:26,599 Aw, give it to me. Give it to me. 12 00:00:26,599 --> 00:00:28,769 What is it? 13 00:00:29,903 --> 00:00:32,706 Seraphina's where? 14 00:00:32,706 --> 00:00:35,041 Well, cut her down! 15 00:00:36,309 --> 00:00:39,780 I don't care if it helps the TV reception! 16 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:41,481 Cut her down! 17 00:00:41,481 --> 00:00:43,885 And if I got home and find you've flushed the car keys again, 18 00:00:43,885 --> 00:00:45,186 you've had it! 19 00:00:45,186 --> 00:00:48,289 And by the way, any more problems tonight, 20 00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:50,224 and you're adopted. 21 00:00:50,224 --> 00:00:52,326 Your real mother is... 22 00:00:52,326 --> 00:00:56,731 Doris slobotkin, 555-8921. 23 00:00:56,731 --> 00:00:58,800 You think that's going to work? 24 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,905 One-in-a-million chance, but I got to take it. 25 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,378 ♪ Makin' your way in the world today ♪ 26 00:01:10,378 --> 00:01:13,515 ♪ takes everything you've got ♪ 27 00:01:13,515 --> 00:01:16,451 ♪ takin' a break from all your worries ♪ 28 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,789 ♪ sure would help a lot ♪ 29 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:23,326 ♪ wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ 30 00:01:25,594 --> 00:01:27,731 ♪ Sometimes you wanna go ♪ 31 00:01:27,731 --> 00:01:33,002 ♪ where everybody knows your name ♪ 32 00:01:33,002 --> 00:01:37,742 ♪ and they're always glad you came ♪ 33 00:01:37,742 --> 00:01:40,144 ♪ you wanna be where you can see ♪ 34 00:01:40,144 --> 00:01:42,880 ♪ our troubles are all the same ♪ 35 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:48,185 ♪ you wanna be where everybody knows your name ♪ 36 00:01:48,185 --> 00:01:50,889 ♪ you wanna go where people know ♪ 37 00:01:50,889 --> 00:01:53,291 ♪ people are all the same ♪ 38 00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:57,763 ♪ you wanna go where everybody knows your name ♪♪ 39 00:02:17,349 --> 00:02:18,517 [Humming] 40 00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:19,518 Hello, everyone. 41 00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,921 Hi, Diane. Hey! Hi. 42 00:02:21,921 --> 00:02:23,856 ♪ La da da da ♪♪ 43 00:02:23,856 --> 00:02:26,794 sounds like you had a pretty nice day off. 44 00:02:26,794 --> 00:02:28,261 It was so nice, 45 00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:30,597 I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it yet. 46 00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:33,633 However, if you insist. 47 00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:37,204 I went out with David from the anthropology department. 48 00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:39,539 He took me up to New Hampshire. 49 00:02:39,539 --> 00:02:43,311 We walked in the woods. We communed with nature. 50 00:02:43,311 --> 00:02:46,180 We stayed at a little inn where John Adams slept. 51 00:02:46,180 --> 00:02:50,084 Yeah, lots of guys sign the register that way. 52 00:02:52,186 --> 00:02:55,456 Well, now I know why I didn't want to talk about it. 53 00:02:55,456 --> 00:02:58,127 You know, I had a pretty nice day off myself. 54 00:02:58,127 --> 00:03:00,495 Taffy and I went sailing up at marblehead. 55 00:03:00,495 --> 00:03:02,064 "Taffy"? 56 00:03:03,198 --> 00:03:06,101 Sailing? You? 57 00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:08,270 You, uh, got a problem with that? 58 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,471 Oh, no, no. 59 00:03:09,471 --> 00:03:11,606 It's just that I thought your idea of romance 60 00:03:11,606 --> 00:03:14,543 was brunch and a cock fight. 61 00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,146 I love sailing. 62 00:03:16,146 --> 00:03:17,680 After seeing ordinary people, 63 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,516 I've been trying to get my kids interested in it. 64 00:03:20,516 --> 00:03:22,618 Oh, come on. 65 00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:24,487 Carla! 66 00:03:24,487 --> 00:03:26,589 Good afternoon, everybody. 67 00:03:26,589 --> 00:03:27,790 Norm! Norm! Oh! Norm! 68 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,159 How's life treating you, norm? 69 00:03:29,159 --> 00:03:31,996 Like he caught me in bed with his wife. 70 00:03:31,996 --> 00:03:33,564 How about a beer, norm? 71 00:03:33,564 --> 00:03:35,066 Yowsah! 72 00:03:35,066 --> 00:03:37,668 Sammy, I'm gonna bring some company in this afternoon. 73 00:03:37,668 --> 00:03:38,769 Who you bringing in, norm? 74 00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:40,171 My new superior. 75 00:03:40,171 --> 00:03:42,840 Got to butter him up a little bit, you know? 76 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,775 I figured I'd bring him in for a drink, 77 00:03:44,775 --> 00:03:46,210 maybe catch some dinner upstairs. 78 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:47,678 Why don't you take him to your house? 79 00:03:47,678 --> 00:03:49,747 My wife lives there. 80 00:03:49,747 --> 00:03:51,049 Gotcha. 81 00:03:51,049 --> 00:03:53,185 One thing, you guys... 82 00:03:53,185 --> 00:03:55,220 You don't know me in here, o.K.? 83 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:56,421 Why? 84 00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:58,823 I don't want him to think I'm a barfly. 85 00:03:58,823 --> 00:03:59,925 Right. 86 00:03:59,925 --> 00:04:01,726 Don't call me norm, all right? 87 00:04:01,726 --> 00:04:03,828 Gotcha, norm. 88 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:08,401 Diane, would you get some singles up at melville's? 89 00:04:08,401 --> 00:04:10,870 Aye, aye, skipper. 90 00:04:11,971 --> 00:04:14,140 Coach, I'll be right back. 91 00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:15,441 I'm going to get some wine. 92 00:04:22,616 --> 00:04:23,884 Pardon me. 93 00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:25,052 Oh, hi. 94 00:04:25,052 --> 00:04:26,586 I'm looking for a Diane chambers. 95 00:04:26,586 --> 00:04:29,023 You're in luck. We got a Diane chambers. 96 00:04:29,023 --> 00:04:30,257 I beg your pardon? 97 00:04:30,257 --> 00:04:32,626 I hope you only want one. 98 00:04:33,693 --> 00:04:35,062 Do you sense, as I do, 99 00:04:35,062 --> 00:04:38,065 that this conversation is an exercise in futility? 100 00:04:38,065 --> 00:04:39,834 Thank you very much. 101 00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:42,904 My name is Ernie pantusso, 102 00:04:42,904 --> 00:04:44,472 but you can call me coach. 103 00:04:44,472 --> 00:04:45,673 Rebecca prout. 104 00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:46,874 Hi, Becky. 105 00:04:46,874 --> 00:04:48,676 Diane and I shared a suite at bennington. 106 00:04:48,676 --> 00:04:50,011 No kidding. 107 00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:53,949 Sam and I shared a chunky bar in Cleveland. 108 00:04:54,849 --> 00:04:56,685 Where is Diane chambers? 109 00:04:56,685 --> 00:04:59,221 Oh, Diane. She's upstairs. She'll be down in a minute. 110 00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:02,424 I'll just sit at a table and wait. 111 00:05:02,424 --> 00:05:03,592 Okey-dokey. 112 00:05:03,592 --> 00:05:04,860 Thanks for your help. 113 00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:06,528 You're welcome. Any time. 114 00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:13,203 Rebecca? 115 00:05:19,776 --> 00:05:20,978 Rebecca! 116 00:05:20,978 --> 00:05:23,480 Diane! 117 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,084 Well, what a wonderful coincidence, huh? 118 00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:29,152 I... I never come into a place like this. 119 00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:32,656 I-I'm doing research for a paper... 120 00:05:32,656 --> 00:05:33,757 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 121 00:05:33,757 --> 00:05:35,826 What the hell's going on here? 122 00:05:35,826 --> 00:05:38,262 Oh, a serving girl. 123 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:45,136 Uh... would you bring us a bottle of wine? 124 00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,973 Only if I can spit in it. 125 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,776 Diane, it's all right. 126 00:05:51,776 --> 00:05:53,278 I know that you work here. 127 00:05:53,278 --> 00:05:55,714 All right. How did you find out? 128 00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:57,449 I called your mother. 129 00:05:57,449 --> 00:05:58,950 She took her head out of the oven 130 00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:00,719 long enough to fill me in. 131 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,490 Oh, god, I've missed you. 132 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,825 Ohhh. 133 00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:08,961 I'll never forget those long afternoons in the quad, 134 00:06:08,961 --> 00:06:10,463 drinking champagne, 135 00:06:10,463 --> 00:06:12,865 eating brioche with strawberry preserves. 136 00:06:12,865 --> 00:06:13,966 Mmm. 137 00:06:13,966 --> 00:06:15,868 Reading and talking schopenauer. 138 00:06:15,868 --> 00:06:19,139 Yeah, well... Enough schope talk. 139 00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:25,579 That's the beauty about being a mailman, norm. 140 00:06:25,579 --> 00:06:28,149 I don't have to play smoochie-woochie 141 00:06:28,149 --> 00:06:29,683 with my superiors the way you do. 142 00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:32,453 Cliff, believe me, it's worth it for accounting. 143 00:06:32,453 --> 00:06:33,920 I love numbers. 144 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,123 God help me, I love them. 145 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:37,992 Cliff: Now, me... 146 00:06:37,992 --> 00:06:39,994 I like the challenges... 147 00:06:39,994 --> 00:06:41,963 Dogs, vicious kids, 148 00:06:41,963 --> 00:06:44,032 those hard-to-find mailboxes. 149 00:06:44,032 --> 00:06:46,268 You think accounting's boring, right? 150 00:06:46,268 --> 00:06:47,435 I miss one digit, 151 00:06:47,435 --> 00:06:49,271 a whole company goes in the toilet. 152 00:06:50,805 --> 00:06:53,241 I'll tell you, when it all makes sense is mother's day... 153 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:56,912 Delivering a card to some old hag. 154 00:06:56,912 --> 00:06:58,747 Watching her eyes mist up. 155 00:06:58,747 --> 00:07:02,218 Kind of gets me right behind the old ballpoint. Know what I mean? 156 00:07:02,218 --> 00:07:04,453 You want to talk sentimental, pal? 157 00:07:04,453 --> 00:07:05,888 You take that same old crone, 158 00:07:05,888 --> 00:07:08,324 save her a couple hundred bucks on the short form. 159 00:07:08,324 --> 00:07:11,428 Then I know why the big guy put me here. 160 00:07:11,428 --> 00:07:14,864 I actually get paid to stand here 161 00:07:14,864 --> 00:07:18,001 and listen to great conversation. 162 00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:20,137 [Speaking French] 163 00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,285 Rebecca, there's something wrong. 164 00:07:34,285 --> 00:07:39,557 Oh, you could always see through my facade of gaiety. 165 00:07:41,259 --> 00:07:44,229 Elliot and I have parted. 166 00:07:44,229 --> 00:07:46,998 Oh, Rebecca, no. 167 00:07:46,998 --> 00:07:48,434 You and Elliot? 168 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,737 You were... Together forever. 169 00:07:51,737 --> 00:07:53,139 I know. 170 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,574 It all began when Elliot got 171 00:07:55,574 --> 00:07:57,943 his doctorate in ichthyology. 172 00:07:57,943 --> 00:08:00,746 His eye began to wander, and the first thing I knew, 173 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:02,915 he'd taken up with a young student 174 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,618 on a squid expedition. 175 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,989 A doctorate changes a man. 176 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,424 But there will be others, right? 177 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,694 And in the meantime, you still have your work. 178 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:16,296 Oh, you think so? 179 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,097 I used to find enormous comfort 180 00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:19,700 translating Russian poetry. 181 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,502 I know. But no more. 182 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,338 Even when I went back over my favorite, 183 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,308 karashnakov's another Christmas of agony, 184 00:08:27,308 --> 00:08:29,610 it failed to soothe me. 185 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,613 "Misha the dog lies dead in the bog. 186 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,750 "The children cry over the carcass. 187 00:08:36,818 --> 00:08:38,887 "The mist chokes my heart, 188 00:08:38,887 --> 00:08:40,522 "covers the mourners. 189 00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:43,192 At least, this year we eat." 190 00:08:48,663 --> 00:08:50,532 Well, if that didn't pick you up, 191 00:08:50,532 --> 00:08:52,735 I'm at a virtual loss. 192 00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:56,639 What I need is to blot out Elliot's memory. 193 00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:58,874 That's exactly what you should do. 194 00:08:58,874 --> 00:09:01,577 I'm looking for a man. 195 00:09:01,577 --> 00:09:03,012 Pardon? 196 00:09:03,012 --> 00:09:06,182 Diane, I've been thinking about this very carefully. 197 00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:09,253 And I think what I need is something I've never had before... 198 00:09:09,253 --> 00:09:13,757 An evening of unbridled bestial pleasure. 199 00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:16,893 I want to burn at the stake of passion. 200 00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:21,698 Rebecca, you're very vulnerable right now. 201 00:09:21,698 --> 00:09:23,467 Please don't do anything foolish. 202 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:26,037 I've never done anything foolish in my life. 203 00:09:26,037 --> 00:09:27,739 And it's high time I did. 204 00:09:27,739 --> 00:09:32,244 Now, the man I'm looking for should be peasant stock... 205 00:09:32,244 --> 00:09:37,815 Tall, dark, strong, hairy arms. 206 00:09:37,815 --> 00:09:41,018 But most important, he should be unintellectual. 207 00:09:41,018 --> 00:09:43,021 One-word sentences. 208 00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:44,790 Do you know anyone like that? 209 00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:47,493 No! 210 00:09:47,493 --> 00:09:48,394 Uh-uh. 211 00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:50,896 Diane, did you get the small bills? 212 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,499 Oh, yeah. Right. Excuse me. 213 00:09:53,499 --> 00:09:54,500 Here you go, coach. 214 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,101 I need a 10 in silver, honey. 215 00:09:56,101 --> 00:09:57,603 Would you get it for me, please? 216 00:09:57,603 --> 00:09:59,605 O.k., coach. Thank you. 217 00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:02,041 I'll be right back. You just sit very still. 218 00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:04,978 Sip your wine... Slowly. 219 00:10:18,726 --> 00:10:19,927 Damn! 220 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,071 Hi there. 221 00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:33,040 Hi there. 222 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,611 Come here often? 223 00:10:35,611 --> 00:10:39,281 Yeah, just about every day. I work here. 224 00:10:39,281 --> 00:10:40,849 Oh. 225 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,485 I couldn't help noticing your arms. 226 00:10:43,485 --> 00:10:45,454 Yeah. I get lots of comments on these. 227 00:10:45,454 --> 00:10:47,022 They go all the way down to my hands. 228 00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:50,493 What's your name? 229 00:10:50,493 --> 00:10:52,295 Uh... sam! Change. 230 00:10:52,295 --> 00:10:55,698 Why? I like myself this way. 231 00:10:57,934 --> 00:10:59,436 Carla: Hey, Sammy! 232 00:10:59,436 --> 00:11:01,070 Two bourbons, straight. 233 00:11:01,070 --> 00:11:02,939 Diane! It's him! 234 00:11:02,939 --> 00:11:03,940 What? 235 00:11:03,940 --> 00:11:05,642 I want him! 236 00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:08,946 Who, the gay guy with the war wound? 237 00:11:12,182 --> 00:11:14,352 You can't fool me. 238 00:11:14,352 --> 00:11:17,054 He's exactly what I'm looking for. 239 00:11:17,054 --> 00:11:20,391 You're not interested in him yourself, are you? 240 00:11:21,392 --> 00:11:23,527 No. Of course not. 241 00:11:23,527 --> 00:11:27,532 Then I'm going for him before I lose my nerve. 242 00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:30,735 Sam. 243 00:11:30,735 --> 00:11:32,771 That woman over there is a dear friend of mine. 244 00:11:32,771 --> 00:11:36,074 She is going through a very difficult period, 245 00:11:36,074 --> 00:11:38,209 so whatever she asks you, 246 00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:40,211 please, just say no. 247 00:11:40,211 --> 00:11:41,213 What? 248 00:11:41,213 --> 00:11:42,615 No. 249 00:11:42,615 --> 00:11:43,616 Diane. 250 00:11:43,616 --> 00:11:44,584 Yes? 251 00:11:44,584 --> 00:11:47,019 Would you excuse us a moment? 252 00:11:47,019 --> 00:11:48,354 Fine. 253 00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:56,529 Would you object to joining me in my hotel room 254 00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:58,699 for an afternoon of wild, animal passion? 255 00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,569 No! 256 00:12:09,042 --> 00:12:10,811 What's your name? 257 00:12:10,811 --> 00:12:12,045 Does it matter? 258 00:12:12,045 --> 00:12:13,714 No. 259 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:35,638 Diane, Sam's not back yet. 260 00:12:36,972 --> 00:12:38,474 So? Who cares? 261 00:12:38,474 --> 00:12:40,909 I would if he took off with my friend 262 00:12:40,909 --> 00:12:43,111 for two hours. 263 00:12:43,111 --> 00:12:44,379 One hour... 264 00:12:44,379 --> 00:12:46,849 And 53 minutes. 265 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:50,920 Sam always did like day games. 266 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:56,259 What do you say, Mr. Stabell? This looks like a good place. 267 00:12:56,259 --> 00:12:58,261 Norm... uh... 268 00:12:58,261 --> 00:13:00,997 ♪ nor nor nor-nor-nor ♪ 269 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,899 ♪ nor-nor nor-nor nor-nor ♪♪ 270 00:13:02,899 --> 00:13:06,270 what you going to have, strangers? 271 00:13:06,270 --> 00:13:08,473 Uh, let me get this, Mr. Stabell. 272 00:13:08,473 --> 00:13:12,943 I think I'll have a, uh... Perrier. 273 00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,945 Perrier. 274 00:13:14,945 --> 00:13:16,080 Give me a beer. 275 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,081 Beer. 276 00:13:17,081 --> 00:13:18,783 Wait a minute... a beer. 277 00:13:18,783 --> 00:13:20,485 Sounds like a refreshing change. 278 00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:21,919 I think I'll have a beer. 279 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:26,291 Coach. 280 00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:28,159 Listen... promise you'll hold me 281 00:13:28,159 --> 00:13:29,260 to one beer tonight. 282 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,629 One at a time? 283 00:13:30,629 --> 00:13:32,397 For the whole night. 284 00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:33,999 The whole night? Yeah. 285 00:13:37,202 --> 00:13:39,539 Thank you. 286 00:13:40,406 --> 00:13:43,309 Here we go. 287 00:13:43,309 --> 00:13:46,846 Two tankards of their finest ale. 288 00:13:49,248 --> 00:13:50,583 Ahh. 289 00:13:52,985 --> 00:13:54,487 Let's talk! 290 00:13:54,487 --> 00:13:55,955 Hey, Sammy! 291 00:13:55,955 --> 00:13:56,957 Hey. 292 00:13:56,957 --> 00:13:57,758 Coach: Hi, Sam! 293 00:13:57,758 --> 00:13:59,226 Diane, Sam's here. 294 00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:00,528 Oh? 295 00:14:00,528 --> 00:14:03,764 I'm going to be in my office back here. 296 00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:07,901 Well, hey. 297 00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:10,771 Nothing going on here, huh? 298 00:14:10,771 --> 00:14:12,773 Dead. 299 00:14:12,773 --> 00:14:15,043 I think I'm going to stretch my legs, 300 00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:17,478 get a little exercise, fresh air. 301 00:14:20,782 --> 00:14:23,284 You've got to take it easy. 302 00:14:23,284 --> 00:14:24,919 I have no respect 303 00:14:24,919 --> 00:14:26,721 for a man who can't control himself 304 00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:28,723 when it comes to drinking. 305 00:14:28,723 --> 00:14:30,926 Yeah. Me neither. 306 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:35,264 How could you do that to that poor woman? 307 00:14:35,264 --> 00:14:36,465 Do what? 308 00:14:36,465 --> 00:14:39,902 "Do what?" Thank you, Mr. Quickpants. 309 00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:43,673 Rebecca is a very vulnerable person 310 00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:45,875 coming off a shattered relationship. 311 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:48,378 How could you go off with her? 312 00:14:48,378 --> 00:14:50,781 She said, "would you mind?" 313 00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:52,515 "Would you mind?" 314 00:14:52,515 --> 00:14:55,151 Those three words are all that separate you 315 00:14:55,151 --> 00:14:56,553 from a rutting pig. 316 00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:59,089 That and my aftershave. 317 00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:02,659 How dare you try to be funny when I hate you! 318 00:15:02,659 --> 00:15:05,462 Come on, what's the big deal here? 319 00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:07,531 We're all adults, aren't we? 320 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:09,567 Yes. 321 00:15:09,567 --> 00:15:11,569 Contrary to your assumption, 322 00:15:11,569 --> 00:15:13,537 I am not a prude. 323 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:16,373 I have a very healthy attitude toward... 324 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,175 You know. 325 00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:22,648 Answer me one question. 326 00:15:22,648 --> 00:15:25,183 Are you proud of what you did today? 327 00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:27,720 I don't kiss and tell. 328 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,023 Oh. The pig develops scruples. 329 00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:34,492 Hey, come on. Look. I'm just kidding you. 330 00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:36,028 Nothing happened, all right? 331 00:15:36,028 --> 00:15:37,597 And he compounds it by lying. 332 00:15:37,597 --> 00:15:41,034 No, no lie. I swear, nothing happened. 333 00:15:41,034 --> 00:15:43,436 You mean, Rebecca came to her senses? 334 00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:46,906 No. No, I... I stopped it. 335 00:15:49,042 --> 00:15:51,110 Oh, I get it. 336 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:53,647 You got angry because she considered you 337 00:15:53,647 --> 00:15:55,415 nothing but a stud service. 338 00:15:55,415 --> 00:15:57,718 No. I liked that. 339 00:16:00,988 --> 00:16:04,759 The problem was that I couldn't shut her up. 340 00:16:04,759 --> 00:16:07,027 No offense, but your friend is very boring. 341 00:16:07,027 --> 00:16:09,529 She's depressing, and she's long-winded. 342 00:16:09,529 --> 00:16:11,900 I mean, those dismal Russian poems. 343 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:14,636 I mean, they don't even rhyme. 344 00:16:14,636 --> 00:16:15,937 After listening to two hours' worth 345 00:16:15,937 --> 00:16:17,773 of frostbite and famine, 346 00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:21,176 I decided to get my balalaikas out of there. 347 00:16:22,644 --> 00:16:24,579 You turned a woman down? 348 00:16:24,579 --> 00:16:25,981 Yeah. 349 00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:30,687 Here I am, all primed for a wonderful afternoon... 350 00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:33,355 You can't admit the truth, can you? 351 00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:35,224 All right, what? What? 352 00:16:35,224 --> 00:16:36,893 What is the truth? 353 00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:39,061 Decency finally won out! 354 00:16:39,061 --> 00:16:41,563 You did the right thing. You were noble. 355 00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:44,300 No. No. I was bored. 356 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:49,006 Unconsciously, you were sensitive to her suffering. 357 00:16:49,006 --> 00:16:51,141 And you didn't want to take advantage of that. 358 00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:53,243 You think so? 359 00:16:53,243 --> 00:16:54,511 Yes! 360 00:16:54,511 --> 00:16:56,579 Sam Malone, you're a better man 361 00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:58,148 than you're willing to admit. 362 00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,384 Yeah, well... Maybe you're right. 363 00:17:01,384 --> 00:17:05,123 Maybe I am kind of turning into a sensitive guy. 364 00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:08,259 Maybe I'll never look at another woman again 365 00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:11,796 and see her as a... Mere sex object. 366 00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,834 No, uh... Scratch that thought. 367 00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:20,105 It was my favorite audit. 368 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:21,974 Carla. 369 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,745 It nearly cost my marriage, 370 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,879 but it was worth it. 371 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,550 Hey. Got to go for the gusto. 372 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,986 I like your enthusiasm, norm. 373 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,588 You're a workhorse. 374 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:39,059 Clydesdale. 375 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:43,263 You know, I'm having one heck of a time. 376 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,399 I don't usually do this, but... 377 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,701 Let's have another. 378 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,907 Coach, two more beers. 379 00:17:52,907 --> 00:17:53,941 Can't do it, norm. 380 00:17:53,941 --> 00:17:55,943 No. It's ok now. Really. 381 00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,780 Norm, I'm not letting you down. You said one beer. 382 00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:00,915 All right. All right. 383 00:18:00,915 --> 00:18:02,583 One beer for my friend. 384 00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:03,650 Oh, that's different. 385 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,019 He'll have a pitcher. 386 00:18:09,324 --> 00:18:11,559 Diane? 387 00:18:11,559 --> 00:18:13,796 I've come to say goodbye... 388 00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:15,163 Forever. 389 00:18:15,163 --> 00:18:17,766 Oh, Rebecca, what's wrong? 390 00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:20,702 I'm not attractive to men. 391 00:18:20,702 --> 00:18:21,937 What? 392 00:18:21,937 --> 00:18:25,240 First, Elliot. Now what's-his-name. 393 00:18:26,575 --> 00:18:28,945 Rebecca, I'm sorry. 394 00:18:28,945 --> 00:18:32,215 Do you have to believe in god to be a nun? 395 00:18:35,184 --> 00:18:37,720 It helps. 396 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,956 What did Sam do to you? 397 00:18:39,956 --> 00:18:41,024 Who's Sam? 398 00:18:41,024 --> 00:18:43,327 The, uh... The bartender. 399 00:18:43,327 --> 00:18:45,062 Oh. Nothing. 400 00:18:45,062 --> 00:18:46,964 That's the problem. 401 00:18:48,032 --> 00:18:52,402 Oh, Diane, he found me repulsive! 402 00:18:52,402 --> 00:18:54,071 No, no, Rebecca. 403 00:18:54,071 --> 00:18:56,573 This must be a misunderstanding. 404 00:18:56,573 --> 00:18:59,076 He climbed out the window. 405 00:19:02,881 --> 00:19:05,083 I'm going back there to talk to Sam. 406 00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:07,886 He must know that he's hurt you this way. 407 00:19:11,756 --> 00:19:15,861 I originally wanted to be a dancer, norm. 408 00:19:17,329 --> 00:19:19,231 You're a pig. 409 00:19:19,231 --> 00:19:21,868 I haven't moved. How did I get back to pig? 410 00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:24,303 You have ruined a human being. 411 00:19:24,303 --> 00:19:25,304 Who? 412 00:19:25,304 --> 00:19:26,605 Rebecca! 413 00:19:26,605 --> 00:19:27,874 She's sitting out there now. 414 00:19:27,874 --> 00:19:30,242 Mother Russia? I'm not here. 415 00:19:31,110 --> 00:19:33,512 Sam! She's crushed. 416 00:19:33,512 --> 00:19:35,548 I've never seen this woman so depressed. 417 00:19:35,548 --> 00:19:37,951 And, believe me, I have seen the woman depressed. 418 00:19:37,951 --> 00:19:39,352 I believe you. 419 00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,521 Well... you have to do something. 420 00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:45,625 She is seriously upset, and it's your fault for the way you rejected her. 421 00:19:45,625 --> 00:19:48,295 Wait. Wait. Where are you going? 422 00:19:48,295 --> 00:19:49,997 I'm going to bring her in. 423 00:19:49,997 --> 00:19:52,033 No, no. Come on. Just give me a minute to, uh, 424 00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:54,268 build a window or something. 425 00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:57,505 We're going to restore her confidence. 426 00:19:57,505 --> 00:19:58,639 What am I going to say? 427 00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:01,142 Just tell her that the reason you rejected her 428 00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:03,611 wasn't because you found her unattractive. 429 00:20:03,611 --> 00:20:05,846 What was the reason? 430 00:20:05,846 --> 00:20:07,482 I don't know. 431 00:20:07,482 --> 00:20:10,852 Well, tell her that you belong to someone else, 432 00:20:10,852 --> 00:20:13,155 that you lost your head for a moment. 433 00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,424 You're an uncaring worm. 434 00:20:17,059 --> 00:20:21,563 Stabell: I was laughed at by the other boys, norm... 435 00:20:21,563 --> 00:20:24,800 Rebecca, may I speak to you in here for a moment, please? 436 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,305 But don't they always laugh at the graceful fellows? 437 00:20:31,908 --> 00:20:33,643 Hello, Rebecca. 438 00:20:33,643 --> 00:20:36,312 Hello, uh... Again. 439 00:20:36,312 --> 00:20:39,549 Uh... when I left the hotel, 440 00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:41,718 I may have given you the wrong impression. 441 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:44,255 I thought there was a fire. 442 00:20:45,923 --> 00:20:48,492 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 443 00:20:48,492 --> 00:20:52,829 Rebecca, I might not have been totally fair with you. 444 00:20:52,829 --> 00:20:54,065 The reason I left was 445 00:20:54,065 --> 00:20:56,567 I'm kind of seeing another person. 446 00:20:56,567 --> 00:21:00,472 I was afraid this was going to happen. 447 00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:03,141 You're making excuses to spare my feelings. 448 00:21:03,141 --> 00:21:05,010 No, no, no. This is true. 449 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:07,845 I really am seeing somebody else. Please. 450 00:21:07,845 --> 00:21:12,150 Rebecca, you are a very desirable woman. 451 00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:15,921 He does happen to be going with somebody, that's all... 452 00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:16,990 Me. 453 00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:18,491 You? You? 454 00:21:20,126 --> 00:21:21,794 We can tell it now. 455 00:21:21,794 --> 00:21:24,497 Yes. Today we had a tiff 456 00:21:24,497 --> 00:21:28,801 right before you came in, and Sam used you 457 00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:29,935 to make me jealous. 458 00:21:29,935 --> 00:21:32,072 And then when push came to shove, 459 00:21:32,072 --> 00:21:33,373 he finally remembered 460 00:21:33,373 --> 00:21:36,343 what a wonderful thing that we have together. 461 00:21:36,343 --> 00:21:38,912 Isn't that right... Sweetheart? 462 00:21:38,912 --> 00:21:41,348 Oh, yeah. Sure. 463 00:21:41,348 --> 00:21:43,017 You betcha. 464 00:21:45,485 --> 00:21:52,127 Yes. Sam and I are deeply and passionately in love. 465 00:21:53,728 --> 00:21:56,564 I can't believe it. 466 00:21:56,564 --> 00:21:58,266 You two? 467 00:21:58,266 --> 00:21:59,900 It's incredible. 468 00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:02,103 I'd never have put you two together. 469 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:04,205 Well, I know it does 470 00:22:04,205 --> 00:22:08,310 test the limits of human logic. 471 00:22:08,310 --> 00:22:11,413 But, like you, I was growing bored 472 00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,515 with bright, articulate men. 473 00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:16,818 You were, huh? 474 00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:19,855 Sure. I was looking for meat and potatoes, and... 475 00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:24,227 Sam here, the old side of beef, really fit the bill. 476 00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:26,929 I was getting kind of bored 477 00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:30,500 with beautiful, sexy, sensuous women. 478 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,035 I decided to go for pleasant. 479 00:22:32,035 --> 00:22:34,104 [Slap] 480 00:22:35,705 --> 00:22:37,040 Yes... 481 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,508 Believe it or not, 482 00:22:38,508 --> 00:22:42,380 I actually prefer a man who's thick and ordinary. 483 00:22:43,981 --> 00:22:46,317 I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned. 484 00:22:46,317 --> 00:22:49,253 I like a woman who does what her man tells her. 485 00:22:49,253 --> 00:22:52,022 Oh, lookie there. My shoe's undone. 486 00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:54,092 Will you get that for me, honey? 487 00:22:58,697 --> 00:23:00,199 What, darling? 488 00:23:00,199 --> 00:23:04,303 Would you tie my shoesie-woosie for me? 489 00:23:06,471 --> 00:23:11,210 She loves doing these little things for me. 490 00:23:12,277 --> 00:23:14,780 That's a little tight there, honey. 491 00:23:16,082 --> 00:23:17,917 How's that, sweetheart? 492 00:23:17,917 --> 00:23:20,586 Well, that's... that's much better. Thank you. 493 00:23:22,522 --> 00:23:23,523 Well! 494 00:23:23,523 --> 00:23:24,357 All of a sudden 495 00:23:24,357 --> 00:23:27,460 I feel like I'm intruding. 496 00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:31,465 I can see that there's such emotion in this room. 497 00:23:33,434 --> 00:23:35,302 Thank you for everything, Diane. 498 00:23:35,302 --> 00:23:37,404 Oh, Rebecca, thank you. 499 00:23:37,404 --> 00:23:39,606 It was wonderful to see you again. 500 00:23:39,606 --> 00:23:40,441 I'll write you. 501 00:23:40,441 --> 00:23:42,843 Oh, good. Things will work out. 502 00:23:42,843 --> 00:23:44,378 Au revoir. 503 00:23:45,446 --> 00:23:47,115 You... 504 00:23:47,115 --> 00:23:51,219 Let go. Oh! Let go of me! 505 00:23:51,219 --> 00:23:54,489 You get your hand out of... just get... 506 00:24:06,435 --> 00:24:09,272 That's the kind of passion 507 00:24:09,272 --> 00:24:11,073 I was hoping I'd find. 508 00:24:11,073 --> 00:24:13,409 You'll find it, Rebecca.