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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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00:00:07,885 --> 00:00:09,884
Oh, no!
3
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You got some car trouble?
4
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Oh, yeah.
5
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Every time it gets cold,
my stupid battery dies.
6
00:00:14,186 --> 00:00:15,186
Gotta get a new one?
7
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Ugh! No, that's all right.
8
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I got one right here.
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Here. Norm, close the hood.
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Start walking real fast.
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
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¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
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¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot.
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¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
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¶ Sometimes you want to go.
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
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¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
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¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
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¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
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¶ People are all the same.
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¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
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Hey, guys, how do I look?
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- Ooh!
- Hey!
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Major spiffy!
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Oh, that's right! Today's
the big day, isn't it?
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Yup. Kelly's coming back
from France.
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Ah! She's hopping the pond, eh?
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The what?
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The pond. It's a reference
to the Atlantic.
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Uh, the Atlantic is an ocean,
not a pond, Dr. Crane.
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How many of those have you had?
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Apparently, not enough.
36
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Boy, I am really nervous.
37
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It seems like
Kelly's been gone a year.
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How long has she been gone?
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A year.
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Can I put some ice
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in that drink for
you, Dr. Crane?
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Hey, guys!
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I just put a down payment
on immortality!
44
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Oh, yeah? What are
you talking about?
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I'm s... I'm sorry.
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It just slipped out.
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The miracle of cryogenics.
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Oh, that thing
where they freeze you?
49
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Yeah. Go ahead, take a look.
50
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You know, when my number
is up, uh, I'll be frozen
51
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and preserved
in a subzero container
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moments after a doctor
declares me legally brain dead.
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Boy, that's a tough call.
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You know, in this brochure,
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the containers look
kind of small.
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They don't freeze
your entire body.
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No, just the brain pan.
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They cut off your head
and freeze it?
59
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Uh-huh. What do they do with the
rest of your body, throw it away?
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Well, it's a start.
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Cliff, uh,
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this corporation
wouldn't be owned
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by a dog food company, would it?
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I want to get this straight. So,
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when it's time for you
to thaw out, what do they do?
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00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:14,395
They, like, uh, put your head
in a plastic bag
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and plop you in some
boiling water for three minutes?
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Sammy!
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00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:21,520
Sammy, this is science,
not Lean Cuisine.
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Hey, Clavin on ice.
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That's nice.
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00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:26,521
Now, wait a minute.
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Why is everybody
making fun of Cliff?
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Now, I'm not saying
that I believe
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that Cliff's severed head
will be brought back to life
76
00:03:32,623 --> 00:03:34,722
in the year 2278 to
charm and delight
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00:03:34,723 --> 00:03:36,524
a new generation of Bostonians,
78
00:03:36,624 --> 00:03:37,824
but who knows?
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I mean, who can
predict the future?
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Hey,
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look, everybody...
It's Clavin's family reunion!
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That's it, I'm out of here.
83
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I'll have real friends in 2278!
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Oh, yeah.
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00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:54,227
You and the other severed heads
can go bowling or something.
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Hello, Woody!
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Kelly!
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00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,629
Boy, I've missed you, Kelly!
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00:04:03,729 --> 00:04:05,229
I've missed you, too, Woody. Ah.
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I brought you a present.
91
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,729
It's a real French beret.
92
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¶ Tada! Oh, wow!
93
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It was between this one
94
00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,430
and the one
with the arrow through it.
95
00:04:14,431 --> 00:04:18,131
Oh, well, this one's nice, too.
96
00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:20,032
Surprise! I got them both!
97
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Oh!
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This is gonna be fun.
99
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This is gonna be
just like old times.
100
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I can't wait.
101
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,633
So what do you feel like doing?
102
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,433
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
103
00:04:29,533 --> 00:04:31,234
I don't know.
What do you feel like doing?
104
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:34,634
Gosh, this is just
like old times.
105
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Listen, maybe Henri will
know what to do. Who?
106
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Henri, my new best friend
from Paris.
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Woody, this is Henri.
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Henri, this is Woody.
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Ah, Woody.
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Yes, I've heard
so much about you. Yeah.
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Give me 40 bucks, please.
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I have to pay for the cab.
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Thanks.
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I'll be right back.
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Kelly, that guy just
take me for 40 bucks,
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kiss you twice and leave?
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Woody, you're so American!
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Henri is my photography teacher.
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He's the greatest.
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He showed me all of Paris,
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taught me all about French food,
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taught me not to be ashamed
of my body, and he...
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he lectured me
in history and art.
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Wait. Wait. Wait.
125
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C-Can we go back
to that body thing?
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Henri took some
art photographs of me.
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They were very tasteful.
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Now, hold on.
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You-You guys aren't...
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Ugh! No, of course not!
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He's just here on vacation.
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Sure, he's always joking
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about how he's gonna
steal me away from you,
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but he's only kidding.
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Are you sure?
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Henri, you're gonna love this.
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Woody thinks you really are...
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trying to steal me
away from him.
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Oh...!
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Oh, that's so funny.
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I am, you know.
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Right out from under your nose.
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See how he is, Woody?
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00:06:12,453 --> 00:06:14,152
He really cracks me up.
145
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Yeah, that's a good one.
146
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Now, I got one for you, Henri.
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Get your hands off
my girlfriend.
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Henri, if you'll
excuse us a moment.
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Woody, I think you were a
little rude to Henri just now.
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Yeah, well, I think
Henri was a little rude, too.
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He's supposed to be
rude; he's French.
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I'm, uh, Sam Malone, by the way.
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Oh! I've heard
about you in France.
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Oh, yeah. You follow baseball?
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No. Stewardesses.
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Oh.
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Uh, when I first came in,
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I was afraid that
you were Woody, uh, but
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then when I saw the real thing,
I was most relieved.
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00:06:56,161 --> 00:06:57,961
Why's that?
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Heh. No competition.
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I could steal Kelly
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00:07:01,562 --> 00:07:04,361
with both hands
tied behind my back.
164
00:07:04,362 --> 00:07:06,263
Ooh!
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00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,664
Listen, Kelly's
Woody's girlfriend.
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I'm sure you could have
any woman you wanted.
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I know, but, uh, Kelly
is so innocent and naive.
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I love to change that.
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Boy, I'm kind of torn here.
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I mean, Woody's my
closest friend,
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00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:31,667
but that is a real
solid argument.
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You know, Woody may surprise
you there, you know.
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He's, uh... looks
like a pushover,
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but he's got his way with women.
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Oh, no, I've been shot
through the head!
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I've been shot through the head!
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I'll take my chances.
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Come on, Woody.
179
00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,873
Woody, how about this one?
180
00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:05,174
Knock, knock.
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00:08:05,274 --> 00:08:06,574
Who's there?
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00:08:06,674 --> 00:08:08,974
Henri, the guy who's going
to steal your girlfriend.
183
00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:12,574
Now, Henri,
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00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,375
this is getting
a little tiresome.
185
00:08:14,475 --> 00:08:15,576
Oh?
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00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:16,776
I'm kidding.
187
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It's really cute.
188
00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,377
Oh. Woody, why don't you
get us some drinks?
189
00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:26,977
Three sodas, Sam.
190
00:08:26,978 --> 00:08:28,338
You know, Woody,
I... I'd watch out
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00:08:28,378 --> 00:08:29,778
for that guy, if I were you.
192
00:08:29,878 --> 00:08:32,178
Oh, I know he's annoying, Carla,
193
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:36,180
but Kelly swears that he's just
joking around to get my goat.
194
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,280
I don't think
he's joking around there, Woody.
195
00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:39,780
Yeah, I don't think so, either.
196
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,680
I mean, the French
aren't exactly known
197
00:08:41,681 --> 00:08:43,080
for their sense of humor.
198
00:08:43,081 --> 00:08:45,381
What do you mean?
199
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,182
Well, let me put it this way:
200
00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:50,682
Their, uh, comic hero
is Jerry Lewis.
201
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,683
What's your point?
202
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:59,484
Yeah. What's your point?
203
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,385
Oh, Henri, that's impossible!
204
00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:04,785
No one can do that!
205
00:09:04,885 --> 00:09:06,085
No. It's true.
206
00:09:06,185 --> 00:09:07,285
I'll show you.
207
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:08,686
What are you guys doing?
208
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:10,786
Henri says he can
teach me to tie a knot
209
00:09:10,886 --> 00:09:13,285
in a cherry stem with my tongue.
210
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,087
Here, uh, we'll demonstrate.
211
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,686
I'll be the cherry stem.
212
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:18,786
Hold it. Hold it.
213
00:09:18,787 --> 00:09:19,888
That's it, frogman.
214
00:09:19,988 --> 00:09:21,388
Get away from my girlfriend!
215
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,887
I know what you're thinking.
216
00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,889
You're thinking you're more
sophisticated than me,
217
00:09:25,989 --> 00:09:28,089
and classier than me,
and smarter than me,
218
00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:30,890
and that... and that you got
better hair than mine,
219
00:09:30,990 --> 00:09:32,590
and that you're taller than me,
220
00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,590
and-and you got
that strong jaw line.
221
00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:37,891
What was my point?
222
00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:40,892
Oh, yeah... you get out of here
223
00:09:40,992 --> 00:09:43,892
before I kick your butt
back to the Eiffel Tower!
224
00:09:43,992 --> 00:09:46,893
Very well.
225
00:09:46,993 --> 00:09:49,092
But I do feel I
should be allowed
226
00:09:49,093 --> 00:09:51,093
to say something in my defense.
227
00:09:51,194 --> 00:09:52,794
Go ahead.
228
00:09:52,894 --> 00:09:55,394
I'm going to steal
your girlfriend.
229
00:10:15,769 --> 00:10:18,170
I can't believe
Kelly would be so mad at me
230
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:19,870
just 'cause I stood up to Henri.
231
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,170
It's like she's starting
232
00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:23,070
to like him better than me.
233
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:26,670
Hey, Sam, you don't
think that...
234
00:10:26,671 --> 00:10:29,771
maybe they've been to...
235
00:10:29,772 --> 00:10:32,271
To the back of the barn?
236
00:10:32,272 --> 00:10:35,573
I was gonna say to bed together.
237
00:10:38,373 --> 00:10:40,074
What-What is the
back of the barn?
238
00:10:40,174 --> 00:10:42,074
What does that mean?
239
00:10:43,674 --> 00:10:46,775
That-That's-That's where
the compost heap is.
240
00:10:52,576 --> 00:10:55,276
I can't think of any
place less romantic.
241
00:11:05,178 --> 00:11:07,579
I don't think they've
slept together yet, Woody,
242
00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:09,578
but I-I would be concerned
about Henri.
243
00:11:09,579 --> 00:11:11,680
I mean, I know guys like this.
244
00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:13,980
I mean, I am a guy like this.
245
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,881
Well, what can I do, Sam?
246
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,281
Well, how's-how's
your love life?
247
00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:21,680
I mean, the physical part?
248
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,682
Well, I can't speak for Kelly,
249
00:11:23,782 --> 00:11:25,282
but I'm looking forward to it.
250
00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:31,883
You're-You're telling me
251
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,584
that-that you and Kelly
haven't slept together?
252
00:11:34,684 --> 00:11:36,484
Well, uh, we-we did once,
253
00:11:36,584 --> 00:11:38,384
when we went to see Old Gringo,
254
00:11:38,385 --> 00:11:40,085
but the whole row was snoring.
255
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:46,485
Well, I... You know,
256
00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:48,886
I think this may be
your problem here, Wood.
257
00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:51,886
Well, I always figured
258
00:11:51,887 --> 00:11:53,886
we'd wait until after
we were married.
259
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:56,188
That's-That's the way
everybody in Hanover does it.
260
00:11:56,288 --> 00:11:58,788
Except for that couple that
teaches art at the high school.
261
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:05,389
I think waiting for marriage
is a wonderful idea.
262
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:06,990
I wish I had.
263
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:09,790
I also wish that I had
studied harder in college
264
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,691
and maybe gone
for a different career.
265
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:14,791
Maybe engineering.
266
00:12:14,891 --> 00:12:17,292
And, you know,
Boston was a bad move.
267
00:12:19,092 --> 00:12:20,212
And then, I mean, of course,
268
00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:22,692
you can't choose
your own parents.
269
00:12:22,693 --> 00:12:24,993
But if I could have,
I would have chosen two
270
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,894
that were more supportive,
you know, like Brian Keith
271
00:12:27,994 --> 00:12:30,294
and Maureen O'Hara
in The Parent Trap.
272
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:34,595
Woody, is this helping you?
273
00:12:34,695 --> 00:12:36,694
Well, even if it isn't,
274
00:12:36,695 --> 00:12:38,196
just thinking about
The Parent Trap
275
00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:39,896
for a moment made me feel good.
276
00:12:49,698 --> 00:12:52,398
What do you think about
premarital sex, Mr. P?
277
00:12:52,498 --> 00:12:55,898
Well, Wood, there's an
old saying, you know, uh...
278
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:58,399
"Why buy the cow when you can
get the milk for free?"
279
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,100
Then of course,
you, uh, you get married,
280
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,000
you wake up one day and realize:
281
00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,901
"Oh, my God.
I've married a cow."
282
00:13:20,204 --> 00:13:22,104
Thanks, Mr. P.
283
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,905
Hey, uh, Sam, what if we do it
284
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,505
and it becomes like a crutch,
285
00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:29,805
and we rely on it for
the rest of our lives?
286
00:13:29,905 --> 00:13:32,106
Well, then you know
you did it right.
287
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:33,505
But you better hurry
288
00:13:33,506 --> 00:13:35,406
or Henri's gonna beat you to it.
289
00:13:37,507 --> 00:13:39,206
All right.
290
00:13:39,207 --> 00:13:40,506
I'm gonna go through with it.
291
00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:41,507
All right!
292
00:13:41,508 --> 00:13:42,707
Yeah, right.
293
00:13:42,708 --> 00:13:44,208
But if it's gonna happen,
294
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:45,907
it's gotta be wonderful.
295
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,409
Where can we go?
296
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:49,509
We can't go to her place,
'cause her Dad's home.
297
00:13:49,609 --> 00:13:52,208
Well, then why don't you
go to a motel?
298
00:13:52,209 --> 00:13:56,110
This is all second nature
to you, isn't it, Sam?
299
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,912
Look at him.
300
00:14:08,012 --> 00:14:10,113
Walking out of here a boy,
301
00:14:10,213 --> 00:14:11,913
and he's gonna come back...
302
00:14:12,013 --> 00:14:14,414
a happy boy.
303
00:14:14,514 --> 00:14:16,514
Everyone!
304
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:19,115
This is Dr. Eugene Eckworth,
305
00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:22,514
a renowned scientist
and surgeon.
306
00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:24,616
A man who not only
believes in cryogenics,
307
00:14:24,716 --> 00:14:27,016
but has just performed
the procedure
308
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,116
you all scorned so zestfully.
309
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,517
Yes, I'm in the process
of transferring
310
00:14:31,617 --> 00:14:34,717
one of our thermostatic clients
to a storage facility.
311
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:37,718
My good friend, Frasier, asked
me to stop by for a drink.
312
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,319
You-You telling me you brought
313
00:14:43,419 --> 00:14:45,218
a severed head into the bar?
314
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:47,920
Oh, man, we gotta have a policy
against that, don't we?
315
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,620
Hey.
316
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,021
Don't worry, it's,
uh, it's frozen.
317
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,721
It's not like it's gonna
go bad or anything.
318
00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:58,798
Hey, a game of pool, Gene?
You can leave the head there.
319
00:14:58,822 --> 00:15:00,222
Oh, that's just fine.
320
00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:03,922
Ooh, weird-looking box.
321
00:15:03,923 --> 00:15:05,423
What's in there?
322
00:15:05,523 --> 00:15:07,123
Um, I don't know.
323
00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:08,624
Why don't you look?
324
00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:10,124
Okay. No! No-no, don't do that!
325
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:13,125
There's a frozen severed
head in that thing.
326
00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:16,725
Oh, give me a break, Sam.
327
00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,726
She's right.
There's no head in there.
328
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:20,526
Then why doesn't
somebody open it?
329
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:22,026
Yeah, you're kind of in charge
330
00:15:22,126 --> 00:15:24,027
of all body parts around here,
aren't you, Sam?
331
00:15:25,727 --> 00:15:28,626
All right, we'll...
I'll open it up
332
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,827
take a quick look, see that
there's no head in there
333
00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:33,228
and then I'll just shut it
up again, all right? Okay.
334
00:15:34,429 --> 00:15:36,329
This...
335
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,830
Well?
336
00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:46,131
I can't see anything in there.
337
00:15:46,231 --> 00:15:47,331
Help me.
338
00:15:51,032 --> 00:15:52,432
Ha! Ha! Hey!
339
00:15:52,532 --> 00:15:55,933
Hey! Well, look who's
laughing now, huh?
340
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:59,633
Help me... Help me...
341
00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:05,234
Ha! You guys were running away
from a tape recorder!
342
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:06,534
Cliff, I must admit
that was funny.
343
00:16:06,535 --> 00:16:07,835
Thanks a lot, Gene.
344
00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:10,434
- No problem, Fras.
- Take care.
345
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:12,036
Hey, Doc, that was great.
346
00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:13,735
Congratulations.
347
00:16:13,736 --> 00:16:15,336
We make a good team, you and me.
348
00:16:15,436 --> 00:16:16,535
Ah, we showed them.
349
00:16:16,536 --> 00:16:18,236
Hey, how would you like
to play a trick like that
350
00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:19,537
on somebody else tomorrow, huh?
351
00:16:19,637 --> 00:16:21,137
Wouldn't that be great?
352
00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:23,238
Lot of people I'd like
to get even with.
353
00:16:23,338 --> 00:16:25,138
Guys down at the post office.
354
00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:28,039
All the people in
my apartment complex.
355
00:16:28,139 --> 00:16:31,439
Ma! Ooh, I'd love to nail her!
356
00:16:31,539 --> 00:16:32,739
Help me!
357
00:16:41,441 --> 00:16:43,942
Well, here's your room,
Mr. and Mrs. Malone.
358
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,443
Well, thank you.
359
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,743
The wife and I really enjoy
360
00:16:52,843 --> 00:16:55,044
getting away from the kids
for a relaxing evening.
361
00:16:56,444 --> 00:16:58,243
By the way, honey, shouldn't
we call the babysitter
362
00:16:58,244 --> 00:17:00,744
and tell her there's
some chicken in the fridge?
363
00:17:00,745 --> 00:17:03,244
The little woman
is a great cook.
364
00:17:03,245 --> 00:17:04,945
Almost makes putting up
365
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,746
with the mother-in-law
worthwhile.
366
00:17:06,846 --> 00:17:08,446
You two aren't married, are you?
367
00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:10,647
No.
368
00:17:12,647 --> 00:17:14,947
Gee, you really had me going
there for a while.
369
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:31,450
Well, this is it.
370
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:35,051
Just you and me alone together.
371
00:17:36,551 --> 00:17:39,452
So, uh, what should we do first?
372
00:17:41,552 --> 00:17:43,053
We could kiss.
373
00:17:44,553 --> 00:17:46,652
Yeah, we've done that
lots of times.
374
00:17:46,653 --> 00:17:48,354
Yeah.
375
00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:20,360
Boy, I've never felt
this self-conscious
376
00:18:20,460 --> 00:18:21,559
about kissing you.
377
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,360
My lips feel huge.
378
00:18:26,561 --> 00:18:29,061
Well, they've always been full.
379
00:18:29,161 --> 00:18:30,660
Really?
380
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,861
They feel like two
big pieces of liver
381
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,662
slapping together.
382
00:18:38,963 --> 00:18:40,563
Oh, no, I can hardly talk.
383
00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:46,363
Woody, I think we're both
a little bit nervous,
384
00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:49,665
so why don't we
lie down and relax.
385
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:51,565
Okay?
386
00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:13,769
Oh! Hey, this is one
of those vibrating beds.
387
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,870
I always wanted to try this.
388
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:20,171
Oh, darn, I dropped the quarter.
389
00:19:20,271 --> 00:19:21,571
I have another quarter.
390
00:19:21,671 --> 00:19:22,671
No, no, I'll get it.
391
00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:30,673
I'll turn it off!
392
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:37,174
Boy, I don't know
why people like this thing.
393
00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:49,076
Let me kiss your head, Woody.
394
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,477
Does that feel better?
395
00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:54,777
Yeah, that feels a lot better.
396
00:19:56,277 --> 00:19:57,878
Oh, no.
397
00:19:57,978 --> 00:19:59,078
It's the manager.
398
00:19:59,178 --> 00:20:01,678
He figured out
we're not married.
399
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:04,278
But, Woody, you told him
we're not married.
400
00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:06,979
Then I guess it was easy
for him to piece together.
401
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,280
Woody, open the door!
402
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,181
Carla, what are you doing here?
403
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,880
Oh, good, you're still dressed.
404
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,581
Thank God I'm not too late.
405
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,181
I knew I would
find you guys here.
406
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:23,482
I gotta talk to you guys
before you make
407
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,482
what could be the worst mistake
of your lives.
408
00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:28,583
What's she talking about, Woody?
409
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:30,984
I'm talking about
you two getting together
410
00:20:31,084 --> 00:20:33,684
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
411
00:20:33,784 --> 00:20:35,785
She's talking about
the two of us getting together
412
00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:37,885
in this motel room
for all the wrong reasons.
413
00:20:40,386 --> 00:20:42,186
Kids...
414
00:20:46,887 --> 00:20:49,087
making love...
415
00:20:49,187 --> 00:20:52,488
is a very special thing
between two people.
416
00:20:54,088 --> 00:20:55,589
You don't want
to throw that away
417
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:58,989
just so you can beat
some Frenchman to the punch.
418
00:21:00,689 --> 00:21:02,590
Believe me.
419
00:21:02,690 --> 00:21:05,990
I came to this motel
when I was 16 years old.
420
00:21:07,191 --> 00:21:09,690
You know what happened?
421
00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:12,091
I got knocked up.
422
00:21:12,092 --> 00:21:14,892
And, uh, here I am,
423
00:21:14,992 --> 00:21:17,593
eight kids later,
trying to talk you kids
424
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,393
out of making the same mistake.
425
00:21:21,293 --> 00:21:23,293
Carla's right.
426
00:21:23,294 --> 00:21:25,194
When it happens,
it has to be special.
427
00:21:25,294 --> 00:21:26,794
It has to be the most
428
00:21:26,894 --> 00:21:28,695
meaningful thing
in the whole world.
429
00:21:29,795 --> 00:21:33,295
You know, if...
if it were up to me,
430
00:21:33,296 --> 00:21:35,196
I... I think we should wait.
431
00:21:35,296 --> 00:21:37,695
You mean until we're married?
432
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:42,996
No, until I can afford a nice
room at the Four Seasons,
433
00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:44,698
instead of some cheap motel.
434
00:21:44,798 --> 00:21:45,897
No offense, Carla.
435
00:21:45,898 --> 00:21:47,898
I know this place has
sentimental meaning to you.
436
00:21:49,499 --> 00:21:50,699
Let's go.
437
00:21:52,499 --> 00:21:55,500
Boy, I'm glad I could
help you guys.
438
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,400
Yeah, I don't know
how to thank you, Carla.
439
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,600
Yeah, that's okay.
440
00:22:04,901 --> 00:22:07,801
See, I told you
I could get us a vacancy.
441
00:22:07,802 --> 00:22:09,802
Come on, Frenchie.
442
00:22:15,303 --> 00:22:17,504
Here's your big chance.
443
00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:21,104
Steal me away from Woody.
444
00:22:27,106 --> 00:22:28,806
Hey, Doc.
445
00:22:28,906 --> 00:22:30,105
Where is everybody?
446
00:22:30,106 --> 00:22:31,606
Have you seen Norm?
447
00:22:31,706 --> 00:22:35,107
Well, Cliff,
Norm was pretty upset
448
00:22:35,207 --> 00:22:38,107
about our little severed head
gag this afternoon.
449
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:41,408
He's been moping
in the pool room all day.
450
00:22:41,508 --> 00:22:43,808
I... I don't know.
451
00:22:43,809 --> 00:22:47,209
Really? Gee, uh, it
was meant to be a joke.
452
00:22:47,309 --> 00:22:48,310
Hey, Norm!
453
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,610
Come on out here, will you?
454
00:22:49,710 --> 00:22:51,210
I didn't mean to scare you.
455
00:22:51,310 --> 00:22:53,811
No, let me, let me
go see if he's okay.
456
00:22:56,911 --> 00:22:59,412
Oh, my God!
457
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,812
Cliffie!
458
00:23:17,415 --> 00:23:19,214
Very funny, Fras.
459
00:23:19,215 --> 00:23:20,916
Hey, I go where the thrills are.