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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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Oh... here's Sam.
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Oh, come on, Sammy. Hey, Sammy.
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Sammy, open up. It's freezing!
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Hey, what are you guys standing
around for?
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How come somebody
didn't let you in?
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I left my keys home.
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Oh, no, I was counting on yours.
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I left mine in the office.
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Hurry up! It's cold!
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Well, how are
we gonna get in here?
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- 'Morning, everybody.
- Norm!
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Sorry I'm late.
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
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¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
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¶ Takin' a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot.
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¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
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¶ Sometimes you want to go.
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
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¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
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¶ The troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You wanna be where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
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¶ People are all the same.
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¶ You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
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Sorry I took so long
getting here this morning.
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Sam, you know, this is
the fourth time this week
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that you've been late.
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As a responsible businessman
and the owner of this bar,
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you owe it to yourself to stick
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to a more responsible schedule,
you know.
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Absolutely.
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If the post office ran its
business the way you run yours...
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Never mind.
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I have a good excuse this time.
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I'm being treated
by a dermatologist.
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Is it anything serious?
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No, no, no... I just told her
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that I had a patch of dry skin,
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and we stayed up all night
looking for it.
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Found it, too...
Four times, by golly.
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Sammy, uh, can we stick
to the topic at hand, please?
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Yeah, Sam. I don't mean to make
any threats here,
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but Gary's Old Towne Tavern
already opens
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a half-hour before you do.
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And how do we know that, Norm?
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Hey, who's on trial here, huh?
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Hey, everybody.
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Hey, Woody...
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You won't believe this.
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I just found out
that on cable TV,
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they have this channel
where they show you stuff
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and you can buy it any hour
of the day, any day of the week.
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How did we live before?
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Yeah, yeah.
Home Shopping Channel...
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Ma loves it,
she's always watching it.
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She's always saying, "If I had
a rich son, he'd buy me this",
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If I had a rich son,
he'd buy me that."
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Who do you think bought her
the TV in the first place?
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You, Cliffie?
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No, but if I find the guy,
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I'm gonna shove that clicker
down his throat.
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Look at this...
I already got my first package.
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Yeah?
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Huh?
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It's a toy car...
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and also rewinds videotapes.
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Now, uh, wouldn't a VCR
rewind tapes?
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Uh, not the one I bought
last night.
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Excuse me,
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Carla.
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Did you read my last memo?
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No.
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Well, if you had read it,
you would know
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that we are no longer accepting
time cards made out in pencil.
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From now on,
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all paperwork must be done
in ink.
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Okay.
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Did you hear me?
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Are you acknowledging my memo?
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I heard you! I acknowledge
the damn memo!
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Now would you get out of my face
so I can finish this time card?
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I mean, this isn't easy,
you know.
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My pencil's
almost down to the nub.
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Well, as long as you're aware
of the problem.
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Oy... that's something,
eh, Norm?
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Remember the good old days?
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When you used to be able to take
an argument like that
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between two gals and turn them
into the Jets and the Sharks?
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Tell you what, Cliffie,
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for you, I'm gonna
tee it up one more time.
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All right. Watch this.
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Rebecca, uh,
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I noticed your little exchange
with Carla over there,
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and I have to say, I admire
your management technique.
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Thank you very much, Norm.
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It takes a lot of courage,
you know, to humiliate yourself
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just for the well-being
of one employee.
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If you were a Japanese
businessman,
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I mean, to lose face like that,
you'd probably have to
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commit some sort
of ritual suicide, you know?
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But here in America...
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Carla!
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Come in my office,
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bring that time card and a pen.
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I'd better be getting a raise.
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Oh,
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the master returns
from his triumphal march
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to the valley of evil.
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I got a raise.
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Frasier, darling, today is
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our monthly luncheon
with the Psychoanalytic
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and Social Therapeutic
Practitioners Society.
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Have you forgotten?
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Well, let me finish this
double, and I might.
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Now, Doctor...
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Yeah, well, Lilith,
I really can't stand
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another dry, endless luncheon
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in some stuffy old restaurant.
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Pretty boring, huh, Fras?
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Well, let me put
it this way, Sam.
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Lilith is the Dorothy Parker
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of this particular roundtable.
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Come on, Frasier, let's go.
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All right, but I won't enjoy it.
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Hey, Norm, go ahead,
make them fight.
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Oh, you do it, come on.
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Me? Yeah.
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Hey, Fras, you
think Carla should be
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filling out the time card
with a pen or a pencil?
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I can see
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why you can't tear yourself
away from this place.
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All right, all right, all right.
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So I'm not you.
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Cliffie, come on now.
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Buck up, buddy.
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You're, you're just
warming up here.
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You got to start out with
an easy one first, huh?
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Yeah. Look, there's...
there's Paul!
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There's Paul. Hey, Hey, Paul!
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Shut up, fathead!
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Hey, guys.
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Hey, Wood.
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Look what I just got
on the shopping channel.
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Now, there's only about 2,000
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of these little
babies left, so...
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a word to the wise.
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Well?
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Well, that's, uh...
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It's beautiful, Woody.
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It's a beautiful cow.
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Yeah.
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I'll say, and that's not
the best part of it.
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It's also a great clock.
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It's...
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noon.
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What, um...
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What happens if
it's 7:00 o'clock?
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Well,
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a cow's power of speech are
kind of limited, you know.
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Everything kind of
sounds like...
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noon.
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How do you ever know
what time it is?
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Well, it helps if
you wear a watch.
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I think it's, um...
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I think it's nice, Woody.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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It's yours.
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Oh, no, Woody.
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I-I-I... I real... I couldn't.
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Miss Howe,
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I've been to your apartment.
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Take the cow.
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I know you fellows favor
a more formal atmosphere,
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but allow me to charm you
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with the quaint hospitality of
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my friendly neighborhood tavern.
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Excuse me, Frasier.
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I have to go check my messages.
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You got one
from Madame Tussauds.
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"Get back to the museum."
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Champagne for everyone, Sam.
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Oh!
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I'm trying to convince
my esteemed colleagues
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to move their monthly meetings
to your fine establishment.
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Oh, hey, thanks. That's great.
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Uh, my, uh, gold card
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should keep the, uh...
the bubbly flowing.
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Cliffie, the master
has a thought.
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Yes?
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One might wonder what
would happen if, uh,
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00:08:07,951 --> 00:08:09,951
we called a certain
credit card company
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and reported that
number as stolen.
197
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Then when a certain
bartender tried
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00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,251
to put it through for
a certain customer,
199
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and it wasn't honored,
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what do you suppose
would happen?
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I don't know.
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Major fireworks.
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Oh!
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You're a genius!
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Why do you put up with me?
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I don't know.
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Frasier, I have to leave.
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There's been an emergency.
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Is it Frederick? No, no.
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Otto, my lab assistant,
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has gotten into the
synthetic hormones again.
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I have to bail him out.
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Or her. I won't know
until I get there.
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00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,351
Oh, no!
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00:08:49,451 --> 00:08:52,051
Miss Howe,
look what I found in the trash!
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It's your cow!
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Oh, dear, how could that
have gotten in there?
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00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:57,750
Sam?
219
00:08:57,751 --> 00:08:59,751
You told me to throw it away...
220
00:09:01,551 --> 00:09:04,151
So, the paranoid says...
221
00:09:05,451 --> 00:09:06,651
"Help! Help!
222
00:09:06,751 --> 00:09:08,851
They're all out to get me!"
223
00:09:16,151 --> 00:09:18,451
I guess you had to be
in the session.
224
00:09:19,451 --> 00:09:21,951
Dr. Crane, can I speak
to you for a minute?
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00:09:22,051 --> 00:09:23,751
- Oh, of course, Sam.
- Got a little
226
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:25,427
problem here... I, uh,
called to get approval
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00:09:25,451 --> 00:09:28,050
on your credit card here, and
they told me it was stolen.
228
00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:29,551
Well that's utterly
ludicrous, Sam.
229
00:09:29,651 --> 00:09:31,027
Well, yeah, that's
what I told them,
230
00:09:31,051 --> 00:09:32,750
but they-they insisted
that it is stolen.
231
00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:34,191
Yes, I-I knocked myself
over the head
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00:09:34,251 --> 00:09:35,650
and stole my own credit card.
233
00:09:35,651 --> 00:09:37,550
That's brilliant, Sam.
Who would ever suspect me?
234
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:38,951
I'm not kidding here.
235
00:09:39,051 --> 00:09:40,950
You know, they're very
serious about their rules.
236
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:43,450
They told me that I
have to cut this up.
237
00:09:43,451 --> 00:09:45,151
You wouldn't, Sam!
238
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:46,451
I don't want to, no!
239
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,250
Tell you what. Um,
240
00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:49,951
why don't I, uh, run a tab, huh?
241
00:09:50,051 --> 00:09:51,451
Well, I don't need a tab.
242
00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:52,851
It's a perfectly good card!
243
00:09:52,951 --> 00:09:53,951
Well, why don't I just, uh...?
244
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This is on the house, all right?
245
00:09:55,351 --> 00:09:57,251
Oh, fine! Now you're adding
insult to injury!
246
00:09:57,351 --> 00:09:58,651
Well, I don't take charity!
247
00:09:58,751 --> 00:09:59,951
Just give me back my card!
248
00:10:00,051 --> 00:10:01,751
I can't give you back
the card, Frasier.
249
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,451
I've got to cut it up and send
the pieces back to the company.
250
00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:06,150
You do not have to do that.
251
00:10:06,151 --> 00:10:07,151
Yes, I do!
252
00:10:07,251 --> 00:10:08,751
They spent a half an hour
253
00:10:08,851 --> 00:10:11,451
on just that fact at the
seminar at the Sheraton.
254
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:15,751
Sam, I am telling you,
you do not have to do that!
255
00:10:15,851 --> 00:10:16,927
You weren't at the seminar.
256
00:10:16,951 --> 00:10:18,651
If I don't do this,
they're gonna take
257
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:19,951
my little card thingy away.
258
00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:21,450
Sam, I am not asking you.
259
00:10:21,451 --> 00:10:23,550
I'm telling you!
Give me back my card!
260
00:10:23,551 --> 00:10:25,251
Don't take that tone
of voice with me!
261
00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:27,151
Frasier, can I help?
I have a card that works.
262
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,650
Oh shut up, you
Skinnerian baboon!
263
00:10:29,651 --> 00:10:32,451
Sam, do not touch
those scissors to that card!
264
00:10:32,551 --> 00:10:33,650
I got to do it, Frasier.
265
00:10:33,651 --> 00:10:34,651
You do not! Yes, I...
266
00:10:40,051 --> 00:10:41,951
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
267
00:10:42,051 --> 00:10:43,351
I t-tell you what.
268
00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:44,951
Here, take-take my credit cards.
269
00:10:45,051 --> 00:10:46,251
Oh, fine!
270
00:10:46,351 --> 00:10:48,251
With your $90 credit limit,
271
00:10:48,351 --> 00:10:50,251
I can go hog-wild
at Monkey Ward's!
272
00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:54,051
You have made me look the fool.
273
00:10:54,151 --> 00:10:56,851
Yeah, I think you've taken care
of that all by yourself, Frasier!
274
00:10:56,951 --> 00:10:59,151
Oh. So it's come
to this, has it?
275
00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:00,851
After years of friendship,
276
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:03,551
you proudly pour a tall cup
of humiliation.
277
00:11:03,651 --> 00:11:05,250
Well, I've had enough,
thank you.
278
00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:06,351
This is good-bye.
279
00:11:06,451 --> 00:11:08,951
You have seen and heard
the last of Frasier Crane.
280
00:11:09,051 --> 00:11:10,251
From this moment forward,
281
00:11:10,351 --> 00:11:12,750
I am never stepping foot
in this bar again!
282
00:11:12,751 --> 00:11:15,651
I close the iron door upon you!
283
00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:20,151
What do we do now, oh master?
284
00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:22,851
Shut up and stop
calling me master.
285
00:11:35,221 --> 00:11:37,821
Anyone hear from Frasier
since yesterday?
286
00:11:37,921 --> 00:11:39,421
He'll be back,
don't worry about it.
287
00:11:39,521 --> 00:11:41,621
I don't know,
he left here pretty angry.
288
00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:43,021
I mean,
I keep calling the house,
289
00:11:43,121 --> 00:11:45,221
and the machine
keeps picking up.
290
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:46,421
Oh, Lilith answers?
291
00:11:47,821 --> 00:11:48,721
He's blowing off steam.
292
00:11:48,821 --> 00:11:50,021
He'll be back.
293
00:11:50,121 --> 00:11:51,421
Oh, I hope so.
294
00:11:51,521 --> 00:11:52,921
Well...
295
00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:56,221
I guess we really
messed up, huh?
296
00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:57,621
We learned our lesson, Cliff.
297
00:11:57,721 --> 00:11:59,921
We've got to stop messing
with people's minds.
298
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:01,320
Yeah, I agree.
299
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,220
By the way, your
fly's open, buddy.
300
00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:04,721
Yeah, so's yours.
301
00:12:07,621 --> 00:12:10,321
You can't expect a guy to
go cold turkey, you know.
302
00:12:12,521 --> 00:12:14,221
You checked, didn't you, Cliff?
303
00:12:14,321 --> 00:12:15,720
Oh, yeah, like
you weren't looking
304
00:12:15,721 --> 00:12:18,221
through the bottom
of that beer mug.
305
00:12:19,421 --> 00:12:21,121
Miss Howe?
306
00:12:22,421 --> 00:12:23,821
Last night the shopping channel
307
00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:27,320
was a consumer bonanza,
and I took advantage of it.
308
00:12:27,321 --> 00:12:29,520
Their loss is your gain.
309
00:12:29,521 --> 00:12:33,421
First, I got you a genuine
gold-look bracelet
310
00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:36,020
with 200 real sapphires.
311
00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,421
Oh, Woody.
312
00:12:37,521 --> 00:12:39,297
First of all, you have
to stop buying me gifts.
313
00:12:39,321 --> 00:12:40,521
And second of all,
314
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:43,221
you have to learn
that sapphires are blue.
315
00:12:43,321 --> 00:12:47,120
Okay, but you can't say
"no" to a new and improved
316
00:12:47,121 --> 00:12:52,920
snackmaster and a portable
solar-powered telephone.
317
00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:55,120
Woody, I cannot accept these.
318
00:12:55,121 --> 00:12:57,121
People are going to get
the wrong idea.
319
00:12:57,221 --> 00:12:59,221
What, that I have
a crush on you?
320
00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,921
No, that I like crap.
321
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:09,421
You're calling
this stuff "crap"?
322
00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:11,021
I'm sorry, Woody.
323
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:13,421
No, no, I was looking
for the right word.
324
00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:15,521
Well, if you don't
like it either,
325
00:13:15,621 --> 00:13:17,621
why do you keep
buying this stuff?
326
00:13:17,721 --> 00:13:20,221
Not "stuff," Miss Howe... "crap."
327
00:13:22,521 --> 00:13:24,320
I buy it because
it looks good on TV.
328
00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:28,321
The second they flash
that 800 number, I'm dialing.
329
00:13:28,421 --> 00:13:30,221
Woody, this-this
has got to stop.
330
00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:32,221
Well, it-it has
stopped, Miss Howe.
331
00:13:32,321 --> 00:13:35,521
I went over my credit
limit with this... crap.
332
00:13:37,521 --> 00:13:39,421
Unless, of course,
you'd care to advance me
333
00:13:39,521 --> 00:13:40,821
six months on my paycheck.
334
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,621
Could be another
necklace in it for you.
335
00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:45,820
An-And if you decide
336
00:13:45,821 --> 00:13:47,321
not to give me the advance,
337
00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:50,421
just keep the necklace
as your free gift.
338
00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:54,521
Woody, you are hooked.
339
00:13:54,721 --> 00:13:56,121
Listen to me, you need help.
340
00:13:56,221 --> 00:13:59,121
I don't need help, I
just need more credit.
341
00:14:02,821 --> 00:14:05,721
You're right, Miss Howe,
I do need help.
342
00:14:05,821 --> 00:14:08,421
I'm scared.
343
00:14:08,521 --> 00:14:11,320
Help me.
344
00:14:11,321 --> 00:14:13,020
Hurry.
345
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:15,221
Act now.
346
00:14:21,721 --> 00:14:23,620
Well, I just got in
touch with Frasier.
347
00:14:23,621 --> 00:14:25,220
Oh, yeah, what'd he say?
348
00:14:25,221 --> 00:14:28,021
Well, he said that he considers
these phone calls a harassment.
349
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:30,521
If I don't cease and desist,
he's gonna get a court order
350
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:35,020
restraining me from coming
within 50 feet of him.
351
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:36,421
Restraining order...
352
00:14:36,521 --> 00:14:41,121
The last resort of shrinks
and housewives in nightgowns.
353
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:47,021
Come on, Cliffie.
354
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:49,321
We've gotta stop this
before it gets any further.
355
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,120
We've got to go to Frasier,
tell him exactly what happened.
356
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,221
Accept all blame,
and the sooner the better.
357
00:14:54,321 --> 00:14:55,721
Yeah, you're right.
358
00:14:55,821 --> 00:14:57,421
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
What?
359
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,520
I just thought of something.
What's that?
360
00:14:59,521 --> 00:15:01,921
If we wait like a couple of
hours, it'll be dinnertime.
361
00:15:02,021 --> 00:15:04,121
Might be able to snag
a free meal.
362
00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:07,721
You are the master, oh salam.
363
00:15:13,921 --> 00:15:16,020
Now, this is lovely.
364
00:15:16,021 --> 00:15:17,521
The baby's with my mother,
365
00:15:17,621 --> 00:15:20,420
and there's nothing to
disturb our peaceful Eden.
366
00:15:20,421 --> 00:15:22,520
You're right, darling, nothing.
367
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,520
Except for the burned-in image
of Sam
368
00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:29,820
cutting my gold card into pieces
before my very eyes.
369
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:30,921
You know, Frasier,
370
00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,821
after listening to you complain
about that
371
00:15:32,921 --> 00:15:34,221
for the umpteenth time,
372
00:15:34,321 --> 00:15:37,421
it's becoming impossible for me
to sympathize.
373
00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:39,321
Of course not.
374
00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:41,621
Sympathy is a human emotion.
375
00:15:47,121 --> 00:15:48,720
What?
376
00:15:48,721 --> 00:15:52,221
Oh, I'm sorry, darling,
I'm just lashing out.
377
00:15:52,321 --> 00:15:55,621
Got off a good one, though.
378
00:15:58,621 --> 00:16:01,921
Frasier, you've got to stop
this cycle of negativity.
379
00:16:02,021 --> 00:16:05,321
Come, let's try some
positive imagery.
380
00:16:05,421 --> 00:16:07,721
You're back in Maui.
381
00:16:07,821 --> 00:16:12,220
Feel the trade winds
caressing your cheeks,
382
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,521
ruffling your hair.
383
00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:17,121
Smell the plumeria.
384
00:16:17,221 --> 00:16:20,721
Taste the mai tai.
385
00:16:20,821 --> 00:16:24,421
Feel the gentle swaying...
386
00:16:24,521 --> 00:16:30,221
swaying of the ancient palms.
387
00:16:30,321 --> 00:16:35,121
The rhythm... the rhythm...
388
00:16:35,221 --> 00:16:37,521
the rhythm...
389
00:16:38,521 --> 00:16:40,721
Are you there?
390
00:16:40,821 --> 00:16:44,420
Yes, I'm there.
391
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,021
I'm in paradise.
392
00:16:47,121 --> 00:16:49,121
And I'm paying
for the whole shebang
393
00:16:49,221 --> 00:16:51,621
with my gold card.
394
00:16:51,721 --> 00:16:55,921
Which was gladly accepted,
and returned in one piece,
395
00:16:56,021 --> 00:16:59,220
by a man in a flowered sarong!
396
00:16:59,221 --> 00:17:01,021
Frasier, get a grip.
397
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,921
Oh, you're right, you're right.
398
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:07,321
You know,
Sam's done me a favor actually.
399
00:17:07,421 --> 00:17:09,921
Instead of spending the night
there in his sleazy saloon,
400
00:17:10,021 --> 00:17:13,421
I'm... I'm at home
here with my love.
401
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:15,621
I'm going to serenade you.
402
00:17:15,721 --> 00:17:20,021
Why, Frasier, you haven't
done that since...
403
00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:23,821
Have you ever done that?
404
00:17:23,921 --> 00:17:25,521
Well, I'm doing it now.
405
00:17:26,321 --> 00:17:27,821
Remember this one, darling?
406
00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:32,320
How could I forget?
407
00:17:32,321 --> 00:17:34,721
¶ Autumn in New York...
¶ Moonlight in Vermont...
408
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,720
You sing it.
409
00:17:36,721 --> 00:17:38,121
All right.
410
00:17:39,121 --> 00:17:41,620
¶ Autumn in New York.
411
00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:47,020
¶ What makes it seem
so exciting? ¶
412
00:17:47,021 --> 00:17:49,521
¶ Autumn in New York.
413
00:17:49,621 --> 00:17:53,121
¶ It spells the thrill
of first nighting... ¶
414
00:17:57,321 --> 00:18:01,221
It was a lovely
honeymoon, wasn't it?
415
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:05,121
I bought this piano
with my gold card.
416
00:18:05,221 --> 00:18:07,221
I mean, yes, dear.
417
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,021
I'll get it.
418
00:18:16,821 --> 00:18:17,821
Hi, Lilith.
419
00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:19,120
Cliff, Norm.
420
00:18:19,121 --> 00:18:20,721
Frasier, it's Cliff and Norm.
421
00:18:22,121 --> 00:18:23,421
Well, good night, gentlemen.
422
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:25,321
I've suddenly developed
a splitting migraine.
423
00:18:30,521 --> 00:18:31,721
Norm. Cliff.
424
00:18:31,821 --> 00:18:32,997
What a pleasure to see
my boon companions
425
00:18:33,021 --> 00:18:34,821
here in my home.
Come in. Come in.
426
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:36,921
Yeah, well, Fras, look,
we don't want to interrupt
427
00:18:37,021 --> 00:18:38,341
your dinner or
anything like that.
428
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,521
Oh, no, we finished hours ago.
429
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:41,821
Yeah, nice shortcut, Cliff.
430
00:18:44,321 --> 00:18:46,021
I see that you left the butcher
431
00:18:46,121 --> 00:18:47,720
of all things plastic
back in the bar
432
00:18:47,721 --> 00:18:49,220
to come visit old Frasier.
433
00:18:49,221 --> 00:18:50,521
Yeah, yeah.
434
00:18:50,621 --> 00:18:51,820
Fras, uh...
435
00:18:51,821 --> 00:18:54,321
just out of curiosity, what
did you have for dinner?
436
00:18:54,421 --> 00:18:55,721
Uh, uh, let me guess.
437
00:18:55,821 --> 00:18:58,620
Wait.
438
00:18:58,621 --> 00:18:59,920
Ah, porterhouse steaks,
439
00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:02,821
smothered with mushrooms,
green beans with sliced almonds,
440
00:19:02,921 --> 00:19:05,820
some, uh, apple brown Betty,
and, uh...
441
00:19:05,821 --> 00:19:07,820
decaf cappuccino.
442
00:19:07,821 --> 00:19:09,620
Ain't he something?
443
00:19:09,621 --> 00:19:11,721
Actually, we had
Chinese brought in.
444
00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,621
Guess it must be in my coat.
445
00:19:16,721 --> 00:19:19,621
Here, come... come and sit down.
446
00:19:19,721 --> 00:19:21,220
You know, I can't tell you
how special this is.
447
00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:23,620
We never seem to get together
outside of that infernal bar.
448
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,221
Never get together just as pals.
449
00:19:25,321 --> 00:19:26,720
Yeah, whatever.
450
00:19:26,721 --> 00:19:28,397
Fras, you don't have any Chinese
left, do you?
451
00:19:28,421 --> 00:19:30,421
No, sorry. Norm, Norm...
452
00:19:30,521 --> 00:19:32,121
we come here
to talk about a topic
453
00:19:32,221 --> 00:19:33,721
a lot more important than food.
454
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:36,421
Found an almond cookie.
455
00:19:37,821 --> 00:19:39,497
If you're here to try
to patch up my relationship
456
00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,620
with Mr. Malone, just forget it.
457
00:19:41,621 --> 00:19:42,521
Give me half, will you, Cliff?
458
00:19:42,621 --> 00:19:43,421
I tell you, I have seen
459
00:19:43,521 --> 00:19:45,721
the last of that ex-jock
in a pompadour.
460
00:19:45,821 --> 00:19:49,020
Frasier, you've got to let us
explain what happened here.
461
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:53,721
Fras, uh, you see,
sometimes guys...
462
00:19:53,821 --> 00:19:56,520
do things, you know,
which they...
463
00:19:56,521 --> 00:19:59,121
they think seem like...
464
00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:01,320
a good idea at the time.
465
00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:04,020
But they're really
not such a good idea.
466
00:20:04,021 --> 00:20:06,621
I guess what
I'm trying to say is...
467
00:20:06,721 --> 00:20:09,721
That... that Sam wants me
to come back to Cheers
468
00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:12,321
so that he can get down on his
knees and apologize to me
469
00:20:12,421 --> 00:20:13,821
in public and in person.
470
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,021
Yeah, that's even better.
471
00:20:17,421 --> 00:20:19,121
Great, come on, let's go.
472
00:20:24,521 --> 00:20:25,721
Sammy,
473
00:20:25,821 --> 00:20:27,520
don't drop down on your knees
to beg for forgiveness
474
00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:29,721
till he's all the way
through the door...
475
00:20:29,821 --> 00:20:32,021
but look who's here.
476
00:20:32,121 --> 00:20:33,721
Hey! You brought Frasier back.
477
00:20:33,821 --> 00:20:35,821
See, now, if we can just
get them to erase
478
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:37,597
everything from their memories
from the last 36 hours,
479
00:20:37,621 --> 00:20:38,921
we're home free.
480
00:20:40,621 --> 00:20:42,721
I'm waiting, Sam.
481
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,821
Waiting for what?
482
00:20:45,921 --> 00:20:47,520
Sammy, don't torture
your friend.
483
00:20:47,521 --> 00:20:50,221
Frasier just swallowed his
pride to come back in here,
484
00:20:50,321 --> 00:20:52,821
so get down on your knees
and beg him to forgive you
485
00:20:52,921 --> 00:20:54,241
and then we can
start celebrating.
486
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,720
I'm sorry.
487
00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:56,921
Thanks, Sam.
488
00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:58,121
That's what we like to see.
489
00:20:58,221 --> 00:21:00,721
Yeah, I bet you
nobody even remembers
490
00:21:00,821 --> 00:21:03,620
what started the silly argument
in the first place.
491
00:21:03,621 --> 00:21:06,521
I do... Sam cut up his gold card.
492
00:21:09,321 --> 00:21:11,621
That was funny.
493
00:21:11,721 --> 00:21:14,320
Woody, come on, we're, uh...
494
00:21:14,321 --> 00:21:15,721
you know, I apologized for that.
495
00:21:15,821 --> 00:21:17,121
We're beyond that right now.
496
00:21:17,221 --> 00:21:18,820
Is that it?
497
00:21:18,821 --> 00:21:21,321
That is the sum total
of your contrition?
498
00:21:22,721 --> 00:21:24,297
I mean, I know you're not
Walt Whitman, Sam,
499
00:21:24,321 --> 00:21:27,021
but I mean, really a couple more
"uhs" and "you knows"
500
00:21:27,121 --> 00:21:28,921
would at least lend it
a little creditability.
501
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,581
Well, you didn't let
me finish, Frasier.
502
00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:31,921
I was going to say
that I'm sorry
503
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:34,220
that you were such a
big jerk yesterday
504
00:21:34,221 --> 00:21:36,720
and that you're such
a big baby today.
505
00:21:36,721 --> 00:21:38,021
Well, that tears it.
506
00:21:38,121 --> 00:21:40,120
When I walk out this time,
believe me when I tell you
507
00:21:40,121 --> 00:21:41,820
that I will never brighten
this door again.
508
00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:43,621
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
509
00:21:43,821 --> 00:21:45,121
Frasier, Frasier, wait a minute.
510
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,821
Before this thing
gets any further,
511
00:21:46,921 --> 00:21:48,921
come on now, sit down, relax.
512
00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:51,821
I think it's time
that both you guys
513
00:21:51,921 --> 00:21:55,021
understand the truth.
514
00:21:55,121 --> 00:21:56,721
Cliffie?
515
00:22:00,421 --> 00:22:03,621
Well, Fras, see, yesterday, uh,
516
00:22:03,721 --> 00:22:06,021
Normie and I, we were
feeling a little frisky
517
00:22:06,121 --> 00:22:08,821
and as sort of a gag,
we, uh, made a phone call
518
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:12,121
and reported
your credit card stolen.
519
00:22:12,221 --> 00:22:15,321
My God, Cliff, that is fraud!
520
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:19,121
You think you know a guy, Sam.
521
00:22:19,221 --> 00:22:20,920
Damn it, Norm. Come on.
522
00:22:20,921 --> 00:22:22,721
All right, all right, all right.
523
00:22:22,821 --> 00:22:24,921
I may have, uh,
524
00:22:25,021 --> 00:22:28,820
been in the vicinity
during that phone call.
525
00:22:28,821 --> 00:22:31,821
I might have actually
dialed the number.
526
00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:35,721
So it's your fault?
527
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,021
Sam, I owe you an apology.
528
00:22:37,121 --> 00:22:38,620
No, no. I had no idea.
529
00:22:38,621 --> 00:22:40,521
Boy.
530
00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:43,221
You guys are really
stirring it up, aren't you?
531
00:22:45,821 --> 00:22:47,021
Okay, fellas,
532
00:22:47,121 --> 00:22:48,720
give me your credit
cards right now.
533
00:22:48,721 --> 00:22:50,821
What? Aw...
534
00:22:50,921 --> 00:22:51,961
Give me your credit cards.
535
00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:54,220
You-you can't cut them up.
536
00:22:54,221 --> 00:22:56,021
I'm not gonna cut them up.
537
00:22:56,121 --> 00:22:57,721
Don't cut them up, Sam.
538
00:22:57,821 --> 00:22:59,321
Woody, you're back in business.
539
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,721
Shop away.
540
00:23:00,821 --> 00:23:02,320
- Oh, no.
- All right.
541
00:23:02,321 --> 00:23:04,221
Get the scissors
and cut them right now.