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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:06,949
Here you go.
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Hey...
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Something wrong?
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Yes, I'll say.
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You didn't ask me if
I needed anything else.
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Do you see this roll
of dollar bills here?
8
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Yeah.
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This is your tip.
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I've set it aside in advance.
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Now here's the deal.
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Every time you
do something wrong,
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I take a dollar bill, see?
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That way, I get decent service.
Understood?
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Fair enough.
16
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Here's my deal for you.
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Every time you take away
a dollar, I do this.
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That just cost
you another dollar.
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There, you happy?
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Your tip money's all gone.
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That's just great.
'Cause I just got my own.
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So, uh, how long is your
brother going to be in town?
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Two weeks.
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
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¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
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¶ Takin' a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot.
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¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
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¶ Sometimes you want to go.
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
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¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
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¶ The troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You wanna be where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
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¶ People are all the same.
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¶ You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
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I would like to nominate
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as the stupidest creature
on Earth
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the one who awakens each day
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to drive through
gridlocked traffic,
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to sit in a windowless office
breathing re-circulated air,
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then returns home and collapses
into a stupor...
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Only to do the same damn thing
all over again
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every day until he dies.
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Looking forward to that
vacation, eh, Fras?
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You bet. We're going to Maui.
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Still having problems
with the computer, Sammy?
49
00:02:48,924 --> 00:02:50,923
No, I think I've figured
out what to do.
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Kiss your keyboard good-bye.
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Sam!
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Sam, Sam, give me the bat.
Come sit down.
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Now, I'm sure that Lilith would
be delighted to help you
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with your computer.
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She tells me she has quite
an affinity for machines.
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Naturally, you could have
knocked me over with a feather.
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What is it with these
machines, anyway?
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Computers... faxes, voice mail.
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You know, when I ran this
place in the old days,
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I had everything
I needed... right up here.
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Brains, Sam?
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- No, good hair.
- Brains...
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I'm serious, you know.
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Good looks can open doors.
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Good hair blows them
off their hinges.
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Sammy, what are you going
to do about the computer?
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Rebecca's gonna come
over here and fix it.
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I just have to wait
until she shows up.
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What about the auto show, Sam?
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Don't you want to go
see the new models?
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Ah, that's all right.
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I know where they're
staying, Woody.
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Uh, Sammy, we're out
of pretzels.
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Oh, sorry.
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Hey, we're out of pretzels.
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I think that's what I meant when
I said we were out of pretzels.
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Sorry I was so cryptic before.
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I don't understand this.
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We were supposed to get
a big shipment today.
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I mean, I, ordered 20 bags
from the distributor.
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I even faxed it on Rebecca's
stupid fax machine.
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Oh, well.
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"Oh, well"?!
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Sammy, there are those of us
who need their pretzels.
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What am I supposed to do,
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go down to the grocery store
and buy you some?
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And get some Beer Nuts, too.
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These are antiques.
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You know, I have a yen
for some Cheese Doodles.
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Hey, uh, Sammy,
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while you're out there, will you
pick me up some cough syrup?
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I've got a... little tickle.
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All right, fine. I'm gonna do
this once, you guys,
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but you gotta remember...
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I'm supposed to be
the boss around here,
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not your errand boy.
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Feed my meter.
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I've got those 20 bags
of cement you ordered.
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What 20 bags of cement?
100
00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:44,005
I ordered 20 bags of pretzels.
101
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I faxed my order
102
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to Amalgamated Snack Foods.
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Oh yeah, we often intercept their
orders so we can push cement.
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Maybe what happened is
I faxed the wrong company.
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That happens all the time.
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So you'll take it back for me?
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Nope. You still got
to pay for it.
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Good thing it happens
all the time.
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Here, sign here. I'll
get the rest of it.
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I've got no time to do this.
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I have more important
things going on.
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Thanks.
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Woody, do something
with this cement.
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Sure thing, Sam.
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Listen, while you're out,
can you pick up
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some aggregate, a water trough,
a shovel and a wheelbarrow.
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Now, what am I going to build?
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All right, here you go,
you clowns.
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Cheese Doodles...
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Beer Nuts, pretzels...
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Uh, where's
the cough syrup, Sam?
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Oh, I knew I forgot something.
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Geez, Sammy, tickles just don't
go away by themselves, you know.
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I'm sorry.
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Oh, man, I know it's going
to get in my ears.
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I just know it.
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Sam, I believe I ordered
Cheese Doodles...
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Not "Imitation
Puffed Cheese" food.
129
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So, I got the plain wrapped.
What's the difference?
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"Can also be used
as packing material."
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See, it's efficient, too.
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"Keep out of the
reach of children."
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You know, Sammy,
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you shouldn't have to cut
corners like this.
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If you're having money problems,
maybe we can help.
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Come here, you guys.
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Listen, you, you remember
that raise I gave you guys
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a couple of weeks ago?
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How much does it really
mean to you?
140
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More than my children's lives.
141
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Okay, Carla gets to
keep her raise.
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What do you say, Wood?
143
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Well, I suppose I can put
it off a couple of months,
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if it'll help.
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Aw, yeah, thanks, man,
you're a brick.
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In return for this concession,
I think the group medical plan
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00:06:47,084 --> 00:06:48,884
should be expanded
to include dental.
148
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I'm just barely keeping my
head above water here.
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00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,582
What are you doing to me?
150
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,482
You're acting like
selfish, greedy leeches.
151
00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,182
Well, why should we work
here then, huh?
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Because we're family, honey.
153
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Why is everybody treating me
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00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:05,680
like I'm the biggest jerk
on Earth?
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Don't worry about that, Sammy,
okay?
156
00:07:07,381 --> 00:07:09,379
You're the owner here.
You have responsibilities.
157
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:11,479
If they can't handle that,
that's their problem.
158
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:12,380
Yeah, thanks.
159
00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:13,656
Can I have another beer, please?
160
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,879
I can't run a tab anymore.
161
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I'm going to have to
take cash on this.
162
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Or maybe you are the
biggest jerk on Earth.
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Maybe you are!
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Fine, you know, just fine.
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What do you guys want
from me, huh?
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Free medical plans...
Raises all around.
167
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How about free beer and all
the pretzels you can eat?
168
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Can I get you anything else?
169
00:07:31,677 --> 00:07:32,877
Can we have "fondue night"?
170
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No.
171
00:07:34,076 --> 00:07:36,976
Not everybody likes fondue.
172
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Hi.
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00:07:42,675 --> 00:07:44,074
Hi, Miss Howe.
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Oh, Woody, you don't work
for me anymore.
175
00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:47,674
You don't need to call
me "Miss Howe."
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Just call me Rebecca.
177
00:07:49,074 --> 00:07:52,173
Oh, hi, Rebecca.
178
00:07:52,273 --> 00:07:55,472
"Rebecca," I kind of like that.
179
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What do you think, Norm?
180
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Now, now, Woody. Come on.
181
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,371
I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson.
182
00:08:02,372 --> 00:08:03,871
It's just not me, Miss Howe.
183
00:08:06,471 --> 00:08:08,571
Oh, great, there you are.
184
00:08:08,671 --> 00:08:10,431
I can't stay long.
I only have a few minutes.
185
00:08:10,470 --> 00:08:11,669
What's wrong with the computer?
186
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:12,670
Oh, nothing, really.
187
00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,346
I just can't get
those little green letters
188
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,568
to pop up on the screen.
189
00:08:15,569 --> 00:08:17,069
Well, did you try booting it up?
190
00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:18,469
Yeah, I did plenty of that.
191
00:08:20,269 --> 00:08:22,767
Sam, you can call me stupid,
192
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,767
but I think if Miss Howe
was still around here,
193
00:08:24,768 --> 00:08:26,668
she could take care of
all this technical stuff.
194
00:08:26,768 --> 00:08:27,966
You're stupid.
195
00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:32,466
I said Sam could
call me stupid, not you.
196
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:34,665
I don't know if that's
a good idea, Woody.
197
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:37,266
I said you could call
me stupid, not my idea.
198
00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,864
Doesn't anybody
listen around here?
199
00:08:39,865 --> 00:08:42,664
You don't think I don't
want Rebecca back here
200
00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:43,764
managing the bar?
201
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,264
I'd love it, man, but she
202
00:08:45,265 --> 00:08:47,464
quit, she's never
gonna come back here.
203
00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:50,963
Well, Sam, you'll never know
unless you offer her the job.
204
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,363
Yeah, hey, how would
you guys feel
205
00:08:53,463 --> 00:08:55,762
about Rebecca managing
this place again?
206
00:08:55,763 --> 00:08:58,462
Well, would it raise
the price of beer?
207
00:08:58,562 --> 00:08:59,262
No.
208
00:08:59,362 --> 00:09:01,161
Then what do we care?
209
00:09:01,162 --> 00:09:03,460
All right, that's a good idea.
210
00:09:03,461 --> 00:09:04,861
I'll offer her the job.
211
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,760
Oh, good. Did you find
out what was wrong?
212
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:09,001
Yeah, the disk was in backwards
213
00:09:09,061 --> 00:09:10,960
and the keyboard connection
was loose.
214
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,860
Also, you had picked it up
and thrown it on the ground.
215
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,358
Wow, Rebecca, you are
216
00:09:16,359 --> 00:09:19,559
so great. You've got this
real knack for managing.
217
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:22,257
What, what are you doing...
for the rest of the day?
218
00:09:22,258 --> 00:09:24,157
What are you doing for
the rest of the week?
219
00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:26,058
I'm going to work.
220
00:09:26,158 --> 00:09:27,158
You got a job?
221
00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:28,657
Yeah, didn't I tell you guys?
222
00:09:29,657 --> 00:09:30,957
Yeah, and it could turn out
223
00:09:31,057 --> 00:09:32,456
to be something real exciting.
224
00:09:32,457 --> 00:09:34,856
Oh, wow, what're you doing?
225
00:09:34,956 --> 00:09:36,755
Well, I'm in
public relations now.
226
00:09:36,756 --> 00:09:38,055
- Good for you.
- Yeah.
227
00:09:38,056 --> 00:09:39,931
I mean, it doesn't mean
I'll never see you guys.
228
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:41,954
I can still come in here
as a customer.
229
00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:44,354
Of course, with work and all,
I mean, I can't stay
230
00:09:44,355 --> 00:09:47,554
for ten, 12 hours at a stretch
like you guys.
231
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,753
Well, that's okay, you could be
in the part-timers club.
232
00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:51,254
They sit over there.
233
00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:53,252
And when you're ready to
commit, you'll let us know.
234
00:09:53,253 --> 00:09:55,173
Yeah. Like Phil there...
He's right on the verge.
235
00:09:58,752 --> 00:09:59,652
Well, I'd better get back.
236
00:09:59,653 --> 00:10:00,951
I've already been
gone ten minutes.
237
00:10:00,952 --> 00:10:03,652
Ten minutes...
She'll never make the cut.
238
00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:06,351
Bye-bye.
239
00:10:06,451 --> 00:10:09,451
You know, it would've been nice
to have her back in the bar.
240
00:10:09,551 --> 00:10:11,149
Come to think of it, you know,
241
00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:13,449
how much work would there be
for her really to do?
242
00:10:13,450 --> 00:10:15,749
I mean, do I really need
a manager?
243
00:10:17,949 --> 00:10:20,649
I've got a truckload of sorghum
for a Sam Malone.
244
00:10:22,148 --> 00:10:24,247
I didn't say I wanted sorghum.
245
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:26,047
I said I wanted "some more gum."
246
00:10:26,048 --> 00:10:28,246
God, I hate voice mail.
247
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:29,747
It's not my problem. Uh...
248
00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:32,446
Where do you want me
to put this?
249
00:10:32,447 --> 00:10:33,646
I don't know.
250
00:10:33,647 --> 00:10:35,645
What is sorghum, anyway?
251
00:10:35,646 --> 00:10:36,546
Oh, it's grain, Sam.
252
00:10:36,547 --> 00:10:37,945
It's used to feed livestock.
253
00:10:37,946 --> 00:10:42,545
So, if I put it in a bowl,
would those guys eat it?
254
00:10:44,345 --> 00:10:46,143
Are you kidding?
255
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:48,843
I was late putting out the
Beer Nuts last night
256
00:10:48,844 --> 00:10:50,644
and Mr. Peterson almost
snapped off my thumb.
257
00:10:52,243 --> 00:10:53,443
Fill 'em up.
258
00:11:02,942 --> 00:11:04,841
Woody, this new
trail mix is great.
259
00:11:04,941 --> 00:11:06,440
Yeah.
260
00:11:06,441 --> 00:11:09,040
Yeah, slide another
bowl down, please.
261
00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:12,339
You might want to mix a raw egg
in there, Mr. Peterson.
262
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,840
Makes your coat nice and shiny.
263
00:11:16,939 --> 00:11:18,339
What?
264
00:11:18,439 --> 00:11:21,039
Oh, nothing.
265
00:11:24,238 --> 00:11:26,337
Hey, guys, listen up
here for a second.
266
00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:28,336
I want you to meet someone here.
267
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:30,136
It's your new manager...
This is Earl.
268
00:11:30,137 --> 00:11:31,936
Hey, Earl. Hi, Earl.
269
00:11:31,937 --> 00:11:33,636
Earl used to play shortstop
for the Cubs.
270
00:11:33,637 --> 00:11:35,236
All right... one of us, huh?
271
00:11:35,336 --> 00:11:36,736
You guys from Chicago?
272
00:11:36,836 --> 00:11:38,336
No. They're all losers.
273
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:43,535
Boy, that sounds like
274
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,834
a nasty cold you've
got there, son.
275
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,834
And still you're out
there delivering the mail?
276
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,534
I've got a lot of
respect for you guys.
277
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:54,632
Sammy, give this guy a raise.
278
00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:56,132
Earl, get out from behind there.
279
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,133
Come on, have a seat.
280
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,131
Oh, don't sit me down at a bar.
281
00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:00,731
I'll never get up. Ah...
282
00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:02,431
It's either that
or go home to the wife,
283
00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:04,031
and God knows I hate to do that.
284
00:12:04,032 --> 00:12:06,231
Do you have the other half
of this amulet?
285
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,630
Looks like you've found
a home here, Earl.
286
00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:15,330
Oh, well, thanks, Sam.
287
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:18,129
Why don't you find me an apron
and I'll get started here?
288
00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:21,228
Holy moly!
The man handles computers,
289
00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:23,627
he tends bar...
290
00:12:23,628 --> 00:12:25,928
Anything you need me for, son.
291
00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:27,828
Whoa! Would you...
292
00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:28,827
What? What?
293
00:12:28,927 --> 00:12:30,326
Catch a look at that babe there?
294
00:12:30,327 --> 00:12:31,526
Where are you? Where are you?
295
00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:34,126
In the poolroom,
kind of behind that pole.
296
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:36,025
Whoo! Boy, you
do have good eyes.
297
00:12:36,026 --> 00:12:38,526
You sure you played
with the Cubs?
298
00:12:41,725 --> 00:12:45,424
Well, guys, I... I hope I do
as well as your last manager.
299
00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:47,023
You're probably going to want
300
00:12:47,024 --> 00:12:49,124
to set your sights
a wee bit higher.
301
00:12:49,224 --> 00:12:51,623
Come on, guys, guys, guys.
Rebecca's doing great.
302
00:12:51,624 --> 00:12:55,423
Our old manager moved on
to bigger and better things.
303
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:59,521
Nothing can hurt a car
treated with Miracle Buff.
304
00:12:59,522 --> 00:13:02,221
Absolutely nothing.
305
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:04,421
Watch me pour acid
on this car, and wipe it
306
00:13:04,422 --> 00:13:05,921
right off!
307
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,920
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
308
00:13:25,923 --> 00:13:27,522
That's right.
309
00:13:27,622 --> 00:13:30,321
Nothing can penetrate
the mirror-like luster
310
00:13:30,322 --> 00:13:32,321
of Miracle Buff.
311
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:35,921
Not even... fire.
312
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,819
You people are
just going to have
313
00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:46,619
to take my word for
it this time, okay?
314
00:13:46,719 --> 00:13:48,418
Ladies and gentlemen,
315
00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:49,818
I have to take a break now,
316
00:13:49,819 --> 00:13:53,118
but our next demonstration
will be in... one minute?!
317
00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:58,616
I just get so afraid up there.
318
00:13:58,617 --> 00:14:00,117
We're afraid for you.
319
00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:03,416
But that's what makes
the auto show so exciting.
320
00:14:09,815 --> 00:14:12,414
Hey, huh? Is this great
to cut out from work like this?
321
00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:13,415
Yeah.
322
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:15,014
With Earl at the bar, you know,
323
00:14:15,114 --> 00:14:16,613
we can stay here all day.
324
00:14:16,614 --> 00:14:18,113
Oh, Sam, check it out!
Sheepskin covers!
325
00:14:18,114 --> 00:14:19,313
What are you doing, man?
326
00:14:19,314 --> 00:14:21,712
Why are you buying
all this vinyl cleaner,
327
00:14:21,713 --> 00:14:23,312
leather cleaner?
I mean, sheepskin?
328
00:14:23,313 --> 00:14:24,512
You don't even have a car.
329
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,612
I know, Sam,
but most of my furniture
330
00:14:26,613 --> 00:14:30,111
comes from the interior of cars.
331
00:14:30,112 --> 00:14:31,712
I've got to be careful
when I shave
332
00:14:31,812 --> 00:14:33,811
because objects may
be closer than they appear.
333
00:14:36,811 --> 00:14:39,910
Ladies and gentlemen, the next
Miracle Buff demonstration
334
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:42,209
will commence in ten seconds.
335
00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:45,408
Oh, my God! Look at that.
That's Rebecca.
336
00:14:45,409 --> 00:14:47,508
She's working the auto show.
337
00:14:47,509 --> 00:14:49,408
Oh, wow! She does
have a great job.
338
00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:51,508
She's Miss Miracle Buff.
339
00:14:51,608 --> 00:14:52,807
I don't think she'd want us
340
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,008
to see her like this.
341
00:14:54,108 --> 00:14:56,207
Just keep out of sight.
342
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:59,006
Miracle Buff,
the amazing discovery
343
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,906
that will make your car's finish
last a lifetime.
344
00:15:01,907 --> 00:15:03,506
For safety reasons,
345
00:15:03,606 --> 00:15:07,306
we can't actually simulate
a nuclear blast,
346
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,104
but we have already shown
that acid and fire
347
00:15:10,105 --> 00:15:12,804
are no match for Miracle Buff.
348
00:15:12,805 --> 00:15:16,904
Unlike human skin.
349
00:15:17,004 --> 00:15:19,103
Sam, I don't think
I can keep up this pace.
350
00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:21,003
I'm still dizzy from being
knocked in the face
351
00:15:21,103 --> 00:15:23,202
from that airbag demonstration.
352
00:15:23,203 --> 00:15:25,803
I think I'm going to go over
to the RVs and lie down.
353
00:15:25,903 --> 00:15:27,702
Now, you're probably all saying
354
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:31,001
to yourself,
"Hey, Miss Miracle Buff,
355
00:15:31,002 --> 00:15:35,300
"would the same thing apply
to..." Boiling tar?!
356
00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,300
No way! No. Forget it.
357
00:15:37,301 --> 00:15:39,500
Then you get me some oven mitts.
358
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:43,000
He won't even give me
any oven mitts.
359
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,399
I am making a lousy
six bucks an hour.
360
00:15:45,499 --> 00:15:47,099
I mean, that will not even cover
361
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:48,598
the skin grafts!
362
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,798
I'm not doing this anymore.
This is it!
363
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,097
You're not getting paid
for this.
364
00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:57,297
Look, buddy, I am carrying
a boiling bucket of tar!
365
00:15:57,397 --> 00:15:59,297
It's okay. It's all
right. It's okay.
366
00:15:59,397 --> 00:16:02,896
Oh, Sam, could this
all be a bad dream?
367
00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:05,696
No, honey.
This is the auto show.
368
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:14,494
My friends! Thanks to my buddy
Earl's amazing cold remedy,
369
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,793
you are looking at
the picture of perfect health.
370
00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:20,093
Every sinus cavity
in my head is clear and dry.
371
00:16:20,094 --> 00:16:23,393
Well, not dry, but moist enough
to be comfortable.
372
00:16:23,493 --> 00:16:24,853
Glad you're feeling
better, Cliffy.
373
00:16:24,893 --> 00:16:26,092
Eh! Thank you.
374
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:28,291
Did this, uh...
particular cold...
375
00:16:28,292 --> 00:16:30,091
Did this start out
with a funny taste
376
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:31,491
up in the back of your mouth?
377
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:34,090
Uh-oh! The old acid
in the adenoids.
378
00:16:34,091 --> 00:16:35,190
Scratchy throat?
379
00:16:35,191 --> 00:16:36,491
Yucky coating on the tongue?
380
00:16:36,591 --> 00:16:39,090
Sounds like an epidemic.
381
00:16:39,091 --> 00:16:41,689
My friends, I don't want
to be an alarmist,
382
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:43,690
but tonight...
If you live through it...
383
00:16:43,790 --> 00:16:46,189
Is going to be the worst
night in your entire lives.
384
00:16:48,489 --> 00:16:51,088
First, the cold sweats,
the pounding headache...
385
00:16:51,089 --> 00:16:52,588
Cliff, I don't
want to hear this.
386
00:16:52,688 --> 00:16:54,088
Don't worry, Norm.
387
00:16:54,188 --> 00:16:55,987
In a few hours,
your ears will be so clogged
388
00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:57,287
you won't be able
to hear anything.
389
00:16:57,288 --> 00:17:00,687
Look, Clavin,
you gave us this cold,
390
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,386
and I'm going to get you for it.
391
00:17:02,387 --> 00:17:04,262
You're not going to know when,
but I'll be there.
392
00:17:04,286 --> 00:17:05,785
Don't worry, Carla.
I'll know when.
393
00:17:05,786 --> 00:17:08,986
I'll hear your liquid-filled
lungs wheezing a mile away.
394
00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:14,585
Hey, hey, everybody!
395
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:15,684
Hey, Earl.
396
00:17:15,685 --> 00:17:19,284
Hey! Norm, do me a favor,
will you?
397
00:17:19,384 --> 00:17:21,284
Let me know how this tastes.
398
00:17:25,383 --> 00:17:27,681
It's great. What did you do?
399
00:17:27,682 --> 00:17:29,882
Well, I adjusted the pressure
in the kegs,
400
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,981
and then I cleaned out
all the lines.
401
00:17:31,982 --> 00:17:35,081
Earl, how do you like
the sound of this?
402
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:37,380
Mrs. Earl Peterson.
403
00:17:37,381 --> 00:17:39,679
Come on.
404
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,779
Think about it. Come on.
405
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,479
I don't know why you guys
406
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,478
are falling all over
yourselves about this Earl.
407
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:48,678
So he's a nice guy. Big deal.
408
00:17:48,679 --> 00:17:50,378
Uh... Carla, excuse me.
409
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:52,678
I noticed you've been carrying
your tray a little low.
410
00:17:52,778 --> 00:17:54,477
Are... are your shoulders tense?
411
00:17:54,478 --> 00:17:57,977
Let me just... if you don't
mind... let me just...
412
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,076
Oh! Oh!
413
00:18:01,077 --> 00:18:03,276
That is the best
I have ever felt
414
00:18:03,277 --> 00:18:05,576
without ending up with a baby.
415
00:18:08,376 --> 00:18:10,975
It wasn't just the acid, Sam.
416
00:18:11,075 --> 00:18:13,475
It was the fire,
and the simulated hailstorm,
417
00:18:13,575 --> 00:18:15,174
and the live pigeons.
418
00:18:15,175 --> 00:18:16,973
12 times a day,
I rubbed and I rubbed
419
00:18:16,974 --> 00:18:18,573
and I rubbed and I rubbed.
420
00:18:18,574 --> 00:18:20,650
Come on, Miss Howe. The auto show
couldn't have been that bad.
421
00:18:20,674 --> 00:18:22,573
Woody, I don't have
any fingerprints left!
422
00:18:23,773 --> 00:18:25,372
Sit in here and calm down.
423
00:18:25,373 --> 00:18:27,872
Rebecca was working
at the auto show?
424
00:18:27,972 --> 00:18:29,871
Yeah. She was Miss Miracle Buff.
425
00:18:29,872 --> 00:18:31,772
Don't let the fancy
title fool you.
426
00:18:31,872 --> 00:18:35,571
She was pitching snake oil
like a sideshow geek.
427
00:18:38,971 --> 00:18:41,469
Woody? What did she do?
428
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,070
Well, as near as I could tell,
429
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:45,170
everything but bite the head
off a live chicken.
430
00:18:46,069 --> 00:18:49,868
Of course, we got there late.
431
00:18:49,869 --> 00:18:53,067
It's an indestructible
space-age polymer, Sam,
432
00:18:53,068 --> 00:18:56,067
and it's in my hair.
433
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,667
Why didn't you come to us?
434
00:18:57,668 --> 00:18:59,966
I mean, come on. The auto show?
435
00:18:59,967 --> 00:19:01,767
Because I was ashamed,
436
00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:04,765
and I really wanted
to find a good job.
437
00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,366
Oh, honey, I know, I know.
438
00:19:11,965 --> 00:19:14,465
It's just that no
corporation will hire me
439
00:19:14,565 --> 00:19:18,063
because of my
involvement with Robin.
440
00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:20,463
I mean, it was either that or...
441
00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:24,062
or selling myself on the street.
442
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,362
All right,
so I made the wrong choice.
443
00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:29,862
Listen. Uh...
whatever, you know?
444
00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:32,061
You've got a job here
managing, if you want.
445
00:19:32,062 --> 00:19:32,962
I do?
446
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:33,762
Yeah.
447
00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:35,460
Oh, Sam, thank you.
448
00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:37,360
I'll do a great job for you.
449
00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:41,160
¶ ...jolly good fellow,
for Earl's a jolly good fellow ¶
450
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,160
¶ For Earl's
a jolly good fellow... ¶
451
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:45,660
Shoot!
452
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,759
I forgot about Earl.
453
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:47,659
Who is Earl?
454
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,959
A jolly good fellow.
455
00:19:52,059 --> 00:19:53,457
Oh, I know that, Sam.
456
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,357
He's working here now.
457
00:19:55,358 --> 00:19:57,157
He's, uh... he's
a real nice guy.
458
00:19:57,158 --> 00:19:58,956
We all got close
to him real fast.
459
00:19:58,957 --> 00:20:01,056
He's like a father
figure to all of us.
460
00:20:01,057 --> 00:20:03,756
Are-Are you sure you gave
the auto show a chance?
461
00:20:03,757 --> 00:20:04,556
Sam!
462
00:20:04,557 --> 00:20:06,456
Kid, you've got the job.
463
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:07,955
You've got the job.
This is swell.
464
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,856
And, you know, I bet
I'll grow to love Earl
465
00:20:09,956 --> 00:20:11,354
just as much
as everybody else does.
466
00:20:11,355 --> 00:20:13,255
Hmm... So what do you
want me to do first?
467
00:20:13,355 --> 00:20:15,155
Fire Earl.
468
00:20:26,853 --> 00:20:28,752
You fired Earl!
469
00:20:29,652 --> 00:20:33,351
Norm! Norm! Norm! Norm!
470
00:20:33,352 --> 00:20:34,851
Sam,
471
00:20:34,951 --> 00:20:36,550
did you send this
poor little lady
472
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:37,951
out here to fire me?
473
00:20:38,051 --> 00:20:39,051
No.
474
00:20:39,651 --> 00:20:42,749
All right, I could
never lie to you, Earl.
475
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:45,349
Yes. Yes. But don't you see?
476
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,648
Rebecca's our friend,
and she needs the job,
477
00:20:47,649 --> 00:20:50,449
and I can't afford
to hire both of you.
478
00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,847
I'm sure you can go out
and get a job someplace.
479
00:20:52,848 --> 00:20:54,448
Well, of course I can, Sam.
480
00:20:54,548 --> 00:20:56,547
I just wish you had
told me to my face
481
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,448
instead of handling it this way.
482
00:20:58,547 --> 00:21:01,547
I'm... I'm a little
disappointed in you.
483
00:21:03,747 --> 00:21:06,345
Please don't say that.
484
00:21:06,346 --> 00:21:09,645
I'm more than happy
to step aside.
485
00:21:09,646 --> 00:21:12,444
I understand
the importance of loyalty.
486
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:15,644
You know, I always believe
that the only way
487
00:21:15,645 --> 00:21:18,343
to run a business
or a friendship
488
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:20,143
or, hell, a life,
489
00:21:20,144 --> 00:21:24,043
is through loyalty
and commitment to other people.
490
00:21:24,143 --> 00:21:27,242
Gee, that's just what my
father always used to say.
491
00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:30,341
Ah. Your father
was right, missy.
492
00:21:30,342 --> 00:21:32,741
Hey, why don't
you pick up a phone
493
00:21:32,742 --> 00:21:34,442
and give him a call?
494
00:21:40,741 --> 00:21:44,640
Well, so long, everybody.
495
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,939
Bye! Bye, Earl! Good-bye!
496
00:21:51,639 --> 00:21:54,438
Well, back to work.
497
00:21:54,538 --> 00:21:58,238
Sammy, that was Earl
that just walked out of here!
498
00:21:59,937 --> 00:22:03,436
I know, I know that, I... but I
had to hire Rebecca back.
499
00:22:03,437 --> 00:22:04,935
Come on, she's our friend.
500
00:22:04,936 --> 00:22:06,935
I can't afford both of them.
Don't you see?
501
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:09,335
I mean, I had to go
with the personal decision here.
502
00:22:09,336 --> 00:22:12,534
I'm sorry. I just hope
you can live with it.
503
00:22:12,535 --> 00:22:13,734
- Wait, wait.
- Sam! Sam!
504
00:22:13,735 --> 00:22:15,235
One question. What?
505
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,434
Is this going
to raise the price of beer?
506
00:22:17,534 --> 00:22:18,334
No.
507
00:22:18,335 --> 00:22:19,834
Then what do we care?
508
00:22:19,934 --> 00:22:21,634
Welcome back, Rebecca.
509
00:22:21,734 --> 00:22:24,032
¶ For she's
a jolly good fellow ¶
510
00:22:24,033 --> 00:22:26,332
¶ For she's a jolly
good fellow ¶
511
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,432
¶ For she's a jolly good fellow...
¶ Shut up! I can't hear Daddy!