1 00:00:01,351 --> 00:00:04,052 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:08,290 Oh, Sammy, look who's here. 3 00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:09,592 Harry the Hat. 4 00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:10,799 Aw, man, how many times 5 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,995 am I gonna have to chase that guy out of here? 6 00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:15,331 Grab your wallets, everybody. 7 00:00:15,398 --> 00:00:17,366 Hello, Harry. Hey, Sam. 8 00:00:17,367 --> 00:00:19,985 What you doing, trying to sell some bogus watches, 9 00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:22,588 some knock off's to my customers and try to cheat 'em? 10 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,123 Sam, that hurts. 11 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,375 This is no knock off. That's a $5,000 Rolex. 12 00:00:26,442 --> 00:00:28,294 But it's on sale for $2,500. 13 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,930 Is this a real Rolex, Harry? Yeah. 14 00:00:30,997 --> 00:00:32,798 Whoa. 15 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,669 Hey. Sounds like a Rolex, doesn't it? 16 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,971 Oh, look at that- still ticking, too. 17 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:41,607 Uh, Sam... 18 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:42,558 Hey, do me a favour. 19 00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:44,026 Just, just take your bogus goods 20 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:45,728 and peddle them someplace else, will ya? 21 00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:48,259 So Harry, are you interested in buying the watch? 22 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:52,067 No, but I think my friend Sam might be. 23 00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:02,345 ♪ Making your way in the world today ♪ 24 00:01:02,412 --> 00:01:05,514 ♪ Takes everything you've got ♪ 25 00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:08,184 ♪ Taking a break from all your worries ♪ 26 00:01:08,252 --> 00:01:11,653 ♪ Sure would help a lot ♪ 27 00:01:11,721 --> 00:01:15,524 ♪ Wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ 28 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,961 ♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪ 29 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:23,449 ♪ Where everybody knows your name ♪ 30 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:29,355 ♪ And they're always glad you came ♪ 31 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,624 ♪ You wanna be where you can see ♪ 32 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:34,193 ♪ Our troubles are all the same ♪ 33 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:38,497 ♪ You wanna be where everybody knows your name ♪ 34 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,667 ♪ You wanna go where people know ♪ 35 00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:44,904 ♪ People are all the same ♪ 36 00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:49,542 ♪ You wanna go where everybody knows your name. ♪ 37 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,311 All right. All right. 38 00:02:08,312 --> 00:02:10,313 But now, the band I'm looking for is gonna have to be able 39 00:02:10,314 --> 00:02:11,781 to do all the old Irish standards. 40 00:02:11,782 --> 00:02:14,500 Yeah. "Danny Boy," "Galway Bay," 41 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,752 "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling," that kind of thing. 42 00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:18,537 You think you can handle that? 43 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,072 All right then. 44 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,941 Okay, I'll get back to you. 45 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,476 Yeah, adios to you too, Manuel. 46 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:30,583 Oh, well, I see you're getting an early jump 47 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,251 on Saint Patrick's Day. 48 00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:33,319 Yeah. That's right. 49 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,753 You know, this time tomorrow 50 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:36,489 when Gary's still decorating Olde Towne Tavern, 51 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,991 this place's gonna be open, people are gonna be flooding in. 52 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,222 That's a good idea, Sam. You're damned right. 53 00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:44,129 Hey, finally, for the first time, St. Patrick's Day, 54 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,865 Cheers is gonna do more business 55 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,299 than Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. 56 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,468 Yes! Yes! 57 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,937 I wouldn't be too sure about that. 58 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,205 He's beaten you ten years running. 59 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:53,656 I know but I've got a feeling. 60 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,674 You know, lucky 11? 61 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:57,693 We can't lose this time, Dr. Crane. 62 00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,262 We're pulling out all the stops. 63 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:01,364 We've got, a two for one special, 64 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,667 we've got balloons, we've got a live Irish band, 65 00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:08,570 we've got Mr. Peterson mixing up some green beer. 66 00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:11,107 Oh, hey, how's that beer coming, Norm? 67 00:03:11,175 --> 00:03:13,942 You want it fast or you want it good? 68 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,779 Come on, you've been working on it for three hours. 69 00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:20,016 And I'm prepared to work on it all night long, Sam, 70 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,551 because damn it, I care. 71 00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:24,170 Normie, watch this. 72 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,839 Hey, Carla. You-you through in there? 73 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,717 Hold your horses. I'm coming. 74 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,817 Shut up, everybody. 75 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,934 Hey, look, everybody. 76 00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:42,404 It's our little leprechaun, Brill O'Head. 77 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:47,009 Keep talking, Clavin, you'll lose your left Blarney Stone. 78 00:03:47,077 --> 00:03:49,128 This outfit is ridiculous. 79 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,796 I mean, I want to beat Gary 80 00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:54,033 as much as the next guy, but I'm not wearing this, okay? 81 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,635 I think it kind of looks nice. 82 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,254 Yeah, I think it looks kind of sexy. That's it. 83 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,091 Please, please. 84 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:04,844 Hey, everybody, I've got great news. 85 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,713 I applied to the Boston League of Businesswomen, 86 00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,297 and they might let me join. 87 00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:09,532 Oh, who are they? 88 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,000 Oh, it's this very prestigious organization 89 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,036 that helps raise the stature of women in society... 90 00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:16,622 and that kind of crap. 91 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,020 Sam, I need a couple hours 92 00:04:18,021 --> 00:04:20,109 off tomorrow because they want to interview me. 93 00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:22,311 Honey, it's the busiest day of my year. 94 00:04:22,312 --> 00:04:23,579 What difference does it make? 95 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,947 She doesn't do anything anyway. 96 00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:27,250 You know what? 97 00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:28,884 Why don't you take the whole day off? 98 00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:31,954 You're a peach. 99 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,189 Hi, everybody. 100 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,810 What the hell do you want here, Gary? 101 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,895 Well, you know, in the spirit of Saint Patrick's Day, 102 00:04:39,896 --> 00:04:42,197 I thought I'd come over here and give you guys a chance 103 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,458 to call off our little bet 104 00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:45,067 and, uh, save yourselves the supreme humiliation. 105 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,086 I'll tell you what, Gary, 106 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,355 we're gonna win this lousy bet this year. 107 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,473 Not only that, we're gonna make ten times more money than you. 108 00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:53,309 And you know why? Because we've got a strategy. 109 00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,895 Well, you know, if you're so sure of yourself, Malone, 110 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,763 maybe you'd like to raise the stakes a little bit 111 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,665 and make it more interesting than the usual 100 bucks? 112 00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,333 What you got in mind? 113 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,719 Oh, just a little something that the loser has to do. 114 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,454 What are you doing? 115 00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:10,292 Oh, I don't know, Gary, uh... 116 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:13,028 Well, okay well, if you're going to be chicken about it. 117 00:05:13,029 --> 00:05:15,280 Oh, I'm not being chicken, because we're gonna win anyway. 118 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:18,100 So, we've got a deal? 119 00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:19,485 Uh, all right. All right. Yeah, yeah. 120 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,288 But wait a minute, what is the, uh, what are the ground rules? 121 00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,507 Malone, there's only one rule, no rules. 122 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,826 Just the way I like it. Great. 123 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,844 May the best man win. 124 00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:31,414 Sam, may I have a word with you? Yeah. 125 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,081 I strongly urge you to reconsider. 126 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:35,584 Listen, why do you think Gary's so willing to up the stakes? 127 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,421 I mean, it stands to reason that he thinks he's going to win. 128 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:39,455 No, no, he's bluffing. 129 00:05:39,456 --> 00:05:40,776 What makes you think that? 130 00:05:40,824 --> 00:05:43,025 Well he-he's beaten us ten times in a row. 131 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,695 And not one of those times has he raised the stakes. 132 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,163 He's running scared. 133 00:05:48,231 --> 00:05:52,234 Well, don't I feel stupid. 134 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:55,971 All those degrees really don't do much, do they, Doctor? 135 00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:02,428 Sammy, what's up? 136 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,597 I thought you wanted to get an early jump on Gary. 137 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,465 Yeah, I did. That's why I'm here at 9:00. 138 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,516 9:01, Sam. 139 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,135 Some of us were here at 9:00. 140 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,104 Hey, relax, will you. It's in the bag. 141 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,889 I fixed it so Gary can't ever win. 142 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,624 Yeah? Yeah? What'd you do? 143 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,393 Yeah, you're gonna love this. You know that-that sign 144 00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:18,694 he's got outside his window there, 145 00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:20,162 "50 cent beer, Saint Patrick's Day Special?" 146 00:06:20,163 --> 00:06:21,997 Yeah. Yeah, well I added a zero. 147 00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:24,400 I mean who's going to pay $5 for a beer, huh? 148 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,235 Good one, Sam. Yeah. 149 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,237 Sometimes I scare myself. 150 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,039 It's 9:02, Sam. Let's go. 151 00:06:30,106 --> 00:06:32,158 All right. Sorry. 152 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,159 $5 beer. 153 00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:36,745 Yeah, let's see him top that. 154 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:46,271 See now, that, that's not right. 155 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,857 Gary did it to us again. 156 00:06:48,925 --> 00:06:52,595 Walled off from the keg. 157 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,364 I want him dead, Sam. 158 00:06:55,432 --> 00:06:56,632 His family, dead. 159 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,434 His friends, dead! 160 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,053 Oh, now see, this, this is, 161 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,289 this is the lowest thing a person can do. 162 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:04,556 This is pure evil. 163 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,674 Yeah. 164 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,843 Why can't we think like that? 165 00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:09,545 Tell me about it. 166 00:07:09,613 --> 00:07:12,898 I thought you left Woody here to guard against things like this. 167 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,436 Sorry, Sam. I fell asleep. 168 00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:22,842 They walled Woody in the bar. 169 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,695 Woody, you all right in there? 170 00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,631 Well, I'm feeling light-headed and woozy, Sam. 171 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,417 That's the way I want to feel. 172 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,352 Somebody tear this thing down! 173 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,110 New Armani, new hair. 174 00:07:41,178 --> 00:07:44,780 Am I ready for the Boston League of Businesswomen or what? 175 00:07:44,847 --> 00:07:48,417 I just have to get my resume and then I'm on my way. 176 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,076 Is this in any way my fault? 177 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,744 No, sweetheart. 178 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,263 Okay then wish me luck. Bye-bye. 179 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:07,319 Yep. Crisis solved. 180 00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,971 Where'd you get the beer? 181 00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:12,168 I've got a few squirrelled away around the bar for emergencies. 182 00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:15,077 I always kind of figured it would be a nuclear thing, 183 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:17,145 but I think this qualifies. 184 00:08:21,384 --> 00:08:23,719 Where would you like us to set up, Mr. Malone? 185 00:08:23,787 --> 00:08:25,287 Oh, hi. fellows. 186 00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:27,523 Uh... uh, yeah, why not? 187 00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:28,957 I'll tell you what, right over there. 188 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,091 Thank you very much... 189 00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:31,160 Hey, come on, Norm, Carla, 190 00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,628 listen we can still win this thing, right? 191 00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,530 We, we've got the green beer, we've got the band. 192 00:08:34,531 --> 00:08:36,765 All we've got to do is get rid of this wall somehow 193 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,501 and hustle like there's no tomorrow. 194 00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:41,670 All we need is, uh, well, a little winning attitude, right? There you go. 195 00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:43,139 A little positivity. Hey, fellas, 196 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,940 do me a favour, play us a little something 197 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,708 to get us in the mood. Yeah. 198 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,712 ♪ They broke into our Dublin home ♪ 199 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:53,482 ♪ The dirty English dogs ♪ 200 00:08:53,550 --> 00:08:55,917 ♪ They took away my sister ♪ 201 00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:58,954 ♪ And they beat my da with logs ♪ 202 00:08:59,022 --> 00:09:01,790 ♪ Limey scum, limey scum ♪ 203 00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:04,927 ♪ I toss a bomb and still they come... ♪ 204 00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:06,228 Everybody. 205 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,064 ♪ Limey scum, limey scum... ♪ 206 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:16,104 ♪ And everywhere I looked ♪ 207 00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:19,942 ♪ Was death, death, death ♪ 208 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:22,277 ♪ Everywhere I looked ♪ 209 00:09:22,345 --> 00:09:25,113 ♪ Was death, death, death. ♪ 210 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,373 And now, for a sad song. 211 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:40,195 ♪ 'Twas a baby's crib that floated... ♪ 212 00:09:40,263 --> 00:09:41,931 No! No! No! No! No baby's crib! 213 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,265 Stop it. 214 00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,000 Here, get the hell out of here, will you? 215 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,535 Take your money. Go on, get out. 216 00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:48,403 Go to hell. 217 00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,960 Let's face it; It's over, huh? 218 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,630 Might as well tally up and see what we've got there. 219 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,181 Yeah, Woody, what's the total? 220 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,984 Well... 221 00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:06,054 $1 million, five hundred thousand. 222 00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:08,457 Decimal point, Woody. 223 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,943 Oh. Hold everything. 224 00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,145 $150 even. 225 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,516 Hey guys, bad news. 226 00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:19,084 I just came from Gary's. 227 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,353 He's raking in the money, hand over fist. 228 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,888 And then again why shouldn't he? 229 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,879 I mean, he's charging five bucks a beer. 230 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,944 Looks like we lost again. 231 00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:31,063 Well, Sammy, guess you're gonna have to fork over 232 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,731 that 150 to Gary. 233 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,384 Uh, actually, we raised the stakes, remember fellas? 234 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,737 Oh, yeah, how much do you have to pay? 235 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,421 Well, it's, it's not money. 236 00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:42,157 It's uh, it's more like a, a little favour, actually. 237 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,992 Oh yeah? What is it? 238 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,596 It's, it's something that people do everyday. 239 00:10:47,664 --> 00:10:49,865 Uh, uh, I'm going to, uh, need, uh, 240 00:10:49,933 --> 00:10:52,067 you three guys to help me out here. 241 00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:55,203 Hey, just once I'd like to be included, huh? 242 00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:56,839 All right, Paul, you're in. 243 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,074 Thank you. Thanks, I owe you Sammy. 244 00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:01,876 Well, what do we have to do? 245 00:11:01,944 --> 00:11:04,663 Uh, it's no big thing, really, Norm. 246 00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:08,383 We've just got to go over to Gary's and... 247 00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:09,885 What? 248 00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,387 Uh, it's no big deal. 249 00:11:11,454 --> 00:11:14,423 Fellas, all we've got to do is, is let him. 250 00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:19,495 What? Just get your coats and follow me. 251 00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:21,096 I'll tell you on the way over. 252 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,498 Hey, Sam, what's the big deal. 253 00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:24,667 Why don't you just tell us what we have to do? 254 00:11:24,668 --> 00:11:25,901 All right, you got to... 255 00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:45,036 Well, what do you think? 256 00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,472 Well, let's get it over with. 257 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,307 Yeah, yeah, all right, Gary. Go on. Go on. Go on. 258 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,510 Okay, I want to see some big smiles. 259 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,346 Ladies and gentlemen, 260 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:58,049 Gary's Olde Towne Tavern has the privilege of presenting an act 261 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:01,386 so humiliating, so embarrassing, so degrading 262 00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,722 that it could only happen to the men of Cheers! 263 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,157 Let's hear it for them! 264 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,630 Gentlemen? 265 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,054 Whoo! Whoo! 266 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,254 And three, and four, and... 267 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,825 ♪ Getting to know you ♪ 268 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:43,712 ♪ Getting to know all about you ♪ 269 00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:49,734 ♪ Getting to like you, hoping that you like me ♪ 270 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,487 ♪ Haven't you noticed? ♪ 271 00:12:52,555 --> 00:12:57,492 ♪ Suddenly I'm bright and breezy ♪ 272 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:04,383 ♪ Because of all the beautiful and new things ♪ 273 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,969 ♪ I'm learning about you ♪ 274 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:13,708 ♪ Day by day. ♪ 275 00:13:21,683 --> 00:13:25,120 It was the low point in my life. 276 00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:30,325 Never ever have I been naked and not had fun. 277 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,512 I tell you it was degradation. 278 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,382 I thought we were a lot tighter the second show. 279 00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,471 How am I ever gonna show my face in here again? 280 00:13:42,538 --> 00:13:45,356 Paul, it's not your face that's burned into my memory. 281 00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,246 You know, I kind of found the whole thing, 282 00:13:51,313 --> 00:13:53,481 uh, quite exhilarating. 283 00:13:54,851 --> 00:13:56,200 Exhilarating? 284 00:13:56,268 --> 00:14:00,138 I meant humiliating. 285 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,907 It was really humiliating. 286 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,611 Uh, guys, you've been really good to me, 287 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,146 so I'm gonna be good to you. 288 00:14:08,213 --> 00:14:09,280 You need a finish. 289 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,900 Yeah, that's real funny. 290 00:14:11,968 --> 00:14:13,317 That's real funny stuff. 291 00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:14,886 I'll tell you something, man. 292 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,155 I'm gonna get you-I don't care how long it takes, 293 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,424 how much money it costs, how many lives are lost, 294 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,893 I'm gonna get you, Gary, once and for all. 295 00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,060 Oh, I hope not 296 00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:24,696 because I'm still shaking from that terrifying 297 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,864 five-dollar-beer prank. 298 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,133 Yeah, well, I'm still gonna get you. 299 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,835 Sammy, let's just give it up. 300 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,120 No! Never! 301 00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:34,022 I tell you I'm gonna get that guy. 302 00:14:34,089 --> 00:14:35,840 I don't give a... Oh, you know... 303 00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,410 Oh, yes, yes-yes-yes. 304 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,645 There's one guy who can help us out here, fellows. 305 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,247 I'm calling in Harry the Hat. 306 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:48,352 You know, my underwear's a little tight. 307 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,322 It's funny, mine's a little loose. 308 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,879 Let me get this straight. 309 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,314 Over the years, Gary has put sheep in your office, 310 00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:02,851 had exterminators shut you down, 311 00:15:02,852 --> 00:15:04,453 and then yesterday he built a brick wall 312 00:15:04,454 --> 00:15:07,055 around the bar and had you perform naked? 313 00:15:07,122 --> 00:15:09,774 Listen, we need your help bad. 314 00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:12,144 I'm sorry, Sam, I'm not interested. 315 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:13,979 Oh, all right, fine. Fine, Harr. 316 00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:15,096 What is your price? 317 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,744 No, I don't want your money, Sam. 318 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,017 Besides, if I did, I could take it. 319 00:15:19,068 --> 00:15:21,336 I kind of like you guys. 320 00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:24,973 So let me give you a piece of advice: stop trying to top Gary. 321 00:15:24,974 --> 00:15:26,208 You're never gonna beat him. 322 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,643 Face it. You're a bunch of losers. 323 00:15:30,546 --> 00:15:31,986 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 324 00:15:31,987 --> 00:15:33,164 It's your nature you know? 325 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:34,633 It's the way God made you. 326 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,850 You're part of his master plan. 327 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,318 If it weren't for you guys, 328 00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:39,787 how would we know who the winners were? 329 00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:43,792 No, we're not losers. 330 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,549 All right, fine, have it your way. 331 00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:47,228 Woody, give me a beer, huh? 332 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,730 Sure. 333 00:15:48,731 --> 00:15:50,498 Yeah, but don't forget to charge him, Woody. 334 00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,699 Get some money out of him. 335 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,834 Yeah, all right, all right. 336 00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:54,105 What do I owe you, Woody? 337 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,836 Well, that'll be two dollars. 338 00:15:55,837 --> 00:15:57,239 Hey, you know, I got a lot of change here. 339 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,108 Will you take all this and give me a 20? 340 00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:00,892 Well, you know, 341 00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,243 be careful of that Woody. 342 00:16:02,311 --> 00:16:03,361 I think he's pulling 343 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,746 his flimflam short change thing here. 344 00:16:04,747 --> 00:16:05,747 Really? 345 00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:06,915 Yeah, yeah. Count the money. 346 00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:10,318 Oh... oh, this isn't right. 347 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,536 Aha. Yeah, see? 348 00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:12,871 You gave me too much. 349 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,939 Huh? 350 00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,106 That's your tip, Woody. 351 00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:17,325 Oh, no, I'm not falling for that. 352 00:16:17,392 --> 00:16:20,361 I'll just keep the two dollars for the beer. 353 00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:22,848 Yeah. See, Harry? 354 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,183 We're not as stupid as you think we are. 355 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,331 No, I guess you're not. 356 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,253 Here's your wallet, Cliff. 357 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:34,792 Wow, he's good. Very good. 358 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,561 Aw, who are we kidding, you guys? 359 00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,129 We might as well just quit. 360 00:16:38,147 --> 00:16:41,349 Hey, wait, wait a minute. What are you saying? 361 00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,417 You mean after Gary's done to us, 362 00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:45,186 you're just gonna roll over and die? 363 00:16:45,187 --> 00:16:46,387 You're gonna walk away? 364 00:16:46,388 --> 00:16:47,906 You're gonna be a quitter, Sam? 365 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,991 Yeah, Carla, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. 366 00:16:49,992 --> 00:16:52,194 I'm gonna quit! I'm tired of losing to the guy. 367 00:16:52,195 --> 00:16:53,494 Tomorrow I'm gonna go over there. 368 00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:56,097 I'm gonna make my peace with him once and for all. 369 00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,599 Well, go. 370 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,467 But I'm not lettin' him off the hook. 371 00:16:59,468 --> 00:17:00,702 This is personal now. 372 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,704 And I don't know what, I don't know, 373 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,172 but I swear I am gonna do something to that guy. 374 00:17:05,173 --> 00:17:06,608 Look, Carla, we're willing to give in. 375 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,942 You should, too. 376 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,978 It's not like you had to dance naked over there. 377 00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:12,947 No, but I had to look at it on videotape. 378 00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:16,885 Gary's selling videotapes? 379 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:20,305 No, He's giving them away with every five-dollar beer. 380 00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,495 Can you believe it? The League rejected me. 381 00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:28,663 Why? 382 00:17:28,731 --> 00:17:30,901 Because they said I was too self-involved 383 00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:32,533 and that I wasn't community-minded enough. 384 00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:35,003 So now I have to spend the next six months 385 00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:38,139 doing community service. Yawn. 386 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,124 Woody, get me a charity on the phone. 387 00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:41,242 Which one? 388 00:17:41,259 --> 00:17:42,860 How the hell do I know?! 389 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:45,279 Just make sure it's close by. 390 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,966 And I don't want one that's real depressing. 391 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:51,035 And no weekends! 392 00:18:22,084 --> 00:18:24,185 Oh! Oh! 393 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:28,656 Oh, God! Oh, God! 394 00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:31,959 Oh, God! 395 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,644 Oh, Carla! 396 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,520 Carla! 397 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,173 I just came back from Gary's! 398 00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:47,141 Wha, what were you thinking?! 399 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:48,743 Are you crazy?! 400 00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,645 I really got him good, didn't I, Sam? 401 00:18:50,646 --> 00:18:51,880 Got him good? 402 00:18:51,947 --> 00:18:53,937 Honey, we're in serious trouble here! 403 00:18:53,983 --> 00:18:56,217 What are you talking about? 404 00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:58,253 Malone! You went way too far this time. 405 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,021 You're gonna go to jail for this! 406 00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,707 I swear to God, Gare, we had nothing to do with this. 407 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,108 Wha-what are you talking about? 408 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,677 Just yesterday, you swore in front of witnesses that, 409 00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,963 that you were gonna ruin me. You said you'd do anything! 410 00:19:07,964 --> 00:19:09,697 That's true, Sam. I was there. 411 00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:12,099 What the hell were you thinking, Malone? 412 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,735 Did you think you were gonna get away with this?! 413 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,153 Well, forget about it. I'm gonna call the cops. 414 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,337 The cops?! 415 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,488 Wait a minute! 416 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,123 Putting a rat in a heating system 417 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:20,591 isn't even a misdemeanour! 418 00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,612 Carla, sweetheart, please, you're just making things worse. 419 00:19:23,613 --> 00:19:25,446 My, my bar is ruined! 420 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,849 Please, man, don't bring the cops into this. 421 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,216 Listen, I-I'm begging you. 422 00:19:29,217 --> 00:19:30,718 I'm on my knees here. 423 00:19:30,786 --> 00:19:32,020 No, you're not. 424 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,257 Oh... 425 00:19:38,794 --> 00:19:40,361 Please... 426 00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:42,964 Oh, and this is supposed to be enough? 427 00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:46,684 Help me out here, will ya? Come on. 428 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,920 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 429 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:57,078 Sam! Ha-ha, I gotcha! That's news. 430 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,415 What's, what's going on here? 431 00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,116 You fell for it. It was a trick. 432 00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:03,318 What is a trick? 433 00:20:03,385 --> 00:20:05,252 I saw your bar being bulldozed! 434 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:07,538 Somebody bulldozed your bar? 435 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,206 I bulldozed my bar. 436 00:20:09,207 --> 00:20:11,275 You see, I sold my property to a commercial developer, 437 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,144 and he's going to put a shopping centre on my old spot. 438 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,746 I'm getting a million bucks for it. 439 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,013 But the best part is, 440 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,483 you guys have humiliated yourselves at the feet 441 00:20:18,484 --> 00:20:21,018 of the master one last time. 442 00:20:21,037 --> 00:20:22,904 Yeah, well, the joke's on you. 443 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,806 We happen to need a shopping centre in this area. 444 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:28,292 Sam, I hope you don't mind, 445 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,061 but since I don't have a bar anymore, 446 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,963 I invited the developer over here to, you know, 447 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,132 help me celebrate. 448 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,059 Sam, I'd like you to meet your new neighbour, 449 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,828 Rutherford Cunningham. 450 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,363 Real nice place you have here. 451 00:20:48,364 --> 00:20:51,065 Nice to meet you. 452 00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,533 Sam, is it? 453 00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:54,402 Yeah. 454 00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,237 A bottle of your finest champagne. 455 00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,639 Cheers. 456 00:20:58,641 --> 00:21:00,992 Oh, Gary, uh, phone for you, the bank. 457 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:03,811 Oh, yeah. Sam, do you mind if I take that in your office? 458 00:21:03,812 --> 00:21:05,380 It's big business, that sort of thing. 459 00:21:05,381 --> 00:21:07,498 Sure. 460 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,985 Bank's not used to million-dollar deposits. 461 00:21:11,053 --> 00:21:14,005 So, Sam! It's good to see you again. 462 00:21:14,072 --> 00:21:17,324 Now what's that I heard about the finest champagne? 463 00:21:17,392 --> 00:21:19,060 Did you do this? 464 00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:21,546 Did you, did you destroy his bar? 465 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,032 No, I didn't. Gary did. 466 00:21:24,099 --> 00:21:26,333 He's the one hired the bulldozer. 467 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,536 Me? I'm just an interested land developer 468 00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,972 who's gonna come up a little short on funds... 469 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:35,443 say about a million bucks short. 470 00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:39,413 I have the same problem with a decimal point. 471 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:43,368 Excuse me. 472 00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:46,404 I believe that's the sound of my check bouncing. 473 00:21:47,672 --> 00:21:49,840 Mr. Cunningham? 474 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:53,878 Uh, where's, uh, Mr. Cunningham? 475 00:21:53,929 --> 00:21:55,313 Uh, he left. 476 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,215 Uh, why, Gary? 477 00:21:57,349 --> 00:21:59,200 Uh, no reason. 478 00:22:00,588 --> 00:22:02,603 Oh, man! 479 00:22:02,604 --> 00:22:04,472 Oh, you are terrific! 480 00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,630 If you guys ever need any more help, you just give me a call. 481 00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:15,299 Oh, thank you, Harry. 482 00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:16,767 Ah, don't mention it. 483 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,703 I guess I've always had a soft spot for you lunkheads. 484 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,989 Hey, how are we ever gonna pay you back? 485 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:25,392 Sam, you already have. 486 00:22:25,461 --> 00:22:27,762 Aw, what a guy, huh? 487 00:22:27,797 --> 00:22:28,997 Wonder what he meant by, 488 00:22:29,064 --> 00:22:31,054 we already have paid him back, though? 489 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:32,200 Oh, I don't know. 490 00:22:32,201 --> 00:22:34,969 You know, probably that warm spirit, the camaraderie, 491 00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:36,337 something like that. 492 00:22:36,405 --> 00:22:38,973 Yeah, yeah, he stole all my money.