1 00:00:50,923 --> 00:00:52,544 Huh ? 2 00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:56,123 I am not a bum. 3 00:00:57,423 --> 00:00:58,923 I'm a jerk. 4 00:01:01,323 --> 00:01:03,523 I once had wealth... 5 00:01:04,623 --> 00:01:06,023 ...power... 6 00:01:06,623 --> 00:01:09,623 ...and the love of a beautiful woman. 7 00:01:10,423 --> 00:01:14,123 Now l only have two things... 8 00:01:15,823 --> 00:01:17,523 ...my friends... 9 00:01:18,723 --> 00:01:19,823 ...and... 10 00:01:25,223 --> 00:01:26,923 ...my thermos. 11 00:01:37,023 --> 00:01:38,623 My story? 12 00:01:48,023 --> 00:01:49,423 Okay. 13 00:01:52,423 --> 00:01:55,623 It was never easy for me. 14 00:01:56,623 --> 00:02:00,223 I was born a poor black child. 15 00:02:02,023 --> 00:02:04,123 I remember the days... 16 00:02:04,523 --> 00:02:07,423 ...sitting on the porch with my family... 17 00:02:07,723 --> 00:02:09,223 ...singing and dancing... 18 00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:11,923 ...down in Mississippi. 19 00:02:19,023 --> 00:02:21,323 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 20 00:02:21,523 --> 00:02:23,623 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 21 00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:26,023 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 22 00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:28,223 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 23 00:02:28,423 --> 00:02:30,923 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 24 00:02:31,123 --> 00:02:33,323 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 25 00:02:33,523 --> 00:02:35,623 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 26 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,223 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 27 00:02:38,423 --> 00:02:40,423 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 28 00:02:40,623 --> 00:02:42,823 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 29 00:02:43,023 --> 00:02:45,223 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 30 00:02:45,423 --> 00:02:47,523 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 31 00:02:47,723 --> 00:02:50,123 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 32 00:02:50,323 --> 00:02:52,223 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 33 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:54,723 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 34 00:02:54,923 --> 00:02:57,123 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 35 00:02:57,523 --> 00:02:59,623 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale of cotton 36 00:02:59,823 --> 00:03:02,023 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale a day 37 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:04,323 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale of cotton 38 00:03:04,523 --> 00:03:06,623 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 39 00:03:06,823 --> 00:03:09,123 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale of cotton 40 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,423 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale a day 41 00:03:11,623 --> 00:03:13,923 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 42 00:03:14,123 --> 00:03:16,123 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day" 43 00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:18,223 Boy, l hope everybody's good and hungry. 44 00:03:18,423 --> 00:03:21,023 - I know l am. - And l'm ready for that. 45 00:03:21,223 --> 00:03:22,723 Here's corn bread. 46 00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:26,723 Collard greens. And l cooked up those hog maws you like. 47 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:29,423 Mother, dear, ain't we forgetting something? 48 00:03:30,623 --> 00:03:34,323 No, l'm not. Today is Navin's birthday. 49 00:03:36,223 --> 00:03:37,823 Happy birthday!. 50 00:03:38,223 --> 00:03:39,623 It's Navin's birthday!. 51 00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:42,623 And l cooked you up your favorite meal. 52 00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,023 Tuna fish salad on white bread with mayonnaise... 53 00:03:46,323 --> 00:03:48,623 ...a Tab and a couple of Twinkies. 54 00:03:48,923 --> 00:03:51,823 Here, darling. - Gee, mom, thanks! 55 00:03:52,223 --> 00:03:54,323 You're gonna like that shit, man. 56 00:03:57,423 --> 00:03:59,423 I got you a present. 57 00:04:00,223 --> 00:04:02,523 Gee, Elvira. - I made it myself. 58 00:04:02,723 --> 00:04:07,723 We got you something, too. A half bottle of lilac vegetal. It's from both of us. 59 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,023 I drew you this picture. 60 00:04:10,523 --> 00:04:13,323 Here. - Thank you. 61 00:04:13,523 --> 00:04:15,323 I want you to have my Zippo. 62 00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:22,223 Dad, you had this since the war. 63 00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:26,823 Thanks. 64 00:04:28,423 --> 00:04:30,023 Thanks, everybody. 65 00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:33,223 God bless us... 66 00:04:33,723 --> 00:04:35,323 ...everyone. 67 00:04:35,923 --> 00:04:37,223 Navin!. 68 00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:45,323 Will you pass me the potatoes and the collard greens? 69 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:48,823 Navin, darling. - I'm sorry l spoiled the party, Mom. 70 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:51,523 You didn't spoil the party. 71 00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:58,023 I brought you a Twinkie. 72 00:05:00,823 --> 00:05:02,923 I'm not hungry right now. 73 00:05:04,423 --> 00:05:06,223 Feeling different again? 74 00:05:07,023 --> 00:05:10,023 It's like l don't fit in. It's like l don't belong here. 75 00:05:11,523 --> 00:05:14,423 It's your birthday, and it's time you knew. 76 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,923 You're not our natural-born child. 77 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,223 I'm not? 78 00:05:26,723 --> 00:05:28,723 You were left on our doorstep... 79 00:05:29,623 --> 00:05:32,323 ...but we raised you like you were one of us. 80 00:05:32,823 --> 00:05:35,423 You mean l'm going to stay this color? 81 00:05:39,223 --> 00:05:43,423 I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass. Come here. 82 00:05:52,623 --> 00:05:56,323 Navin, l wrapped your sandwich in cellophane, just like you like it. 83 00:05:58,123 --> 00:06:01,623 You want to come in and sing some blues? 84 00:06:02,523 --> 00:06:04,023 No, thanks, Taj. 85 00:06:04,723 --> 00:06:06,923 There's something about those songs. 86 00:06:07,623 --> 00:06:09,323 They depress me. 87 00:06:10,223 --> 00:06:11,923 Come here, darling. 88 00:06:21,523 --> 00:06:23,123 That's it, darling. 89 00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:27,323 You're getting the rhythm. See? 90 00:06:36,423 --> 00:06:39,023 And that concludes this Sunday night Gospel Hour... 91 00:06:39,223 --> 00:06:41,323 ...live from the Four Square Gospel Church... 92 00:06:41,523 --> 00:06:44,423 ...at the Divine Salvation in St. Louis, Missouri. 93 00:06:44,523 --> 00:06:46,823 The Reverend Willard Willman, Pastor. 94 00:06:47,023 --> 00:06:49,123 And now, music throughout the night. 95 00:06:49,323 --> 00:06:51,323 Music in a mellow mood. 96 00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:08,823 Grandma!. - What happened? 97 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,223 Look!. - What happened? 98 00:08:11,323 --> 00:08:13,623 Don't touch that radio!. Don't touch it!. 99 00:08:13,923 --> 00:08:15,623 Turn it up!. Turn it up!. 100 00:08:16,423 --> 00:08:18,823 I've never heard music like this before!. 101 00:08:19,223 --> 00:08:22,023 It speaks to me!. Taj!. Dad!. 102 00:08:22,223 --> 00:08:25,023 This is unbelievable. Now watch. 103 00:08:28,323 --> 00:08:29,423 Yeah? 104 00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:34,423 Well, if this is out there, think how much more is out there!. 105 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:38,823 This is the kind of music that tells me to go out there and be somebody!. 106 00:08:40,523 --> 00:08:42,423 But Navin-- - Let him go. 107 00:08:52,623 --> 00:08:55,323 Now that you're going out into the world... 108 00:08:55,523 --> 00:08:57,423 ...there's something you should know. 109 00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:01,023 You see that? - Yeah. 110 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,923 That's shit. 111 00:09:04,223 --> 00:09:07,223 And this is Shinola. 112 00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:11,223 Shit. 113 00:09:12,623 --> 00:09:14,023 Shinola. 114 00:09:14,223 --> 00:09:16,423 Son, you're gonna be all right. 115 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,123 Now, what town are you gonna try for first? 116 00:09:20,723 --> 00:09:24,423 I thought l'd go to St. Louis 'cause that's where that radio show was from. 117 00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:28,423 And remember, the Lord loves a working man. 118 00:09:28,723 --> 00:09:30,723 "Lord loves a working man." -A nd son... 119 00:09:30,923 --> 00:09:33,423 ...don't never, ever trust Whitey. 120 00:09:33,723 --> 00:09:37,123 "Don't trust Whitey. Lord loves a working man, don't trust Whitey." 121 00:09:39,323 --> 00:09:40,523 Baby. 122 00:09:41,823 --> 00:09:42,923 Daddy. 123 00:09:45,723 --> 00:09:47,723 Pierre. Come here. 124 00:09:48,523 --> 00:09:50,223 Don't you forget to grow up now. 125 00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,023 - Good luck, brother. - Send me a picture postcard. 126 00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:57,323 Okay, let the boy go. 127 00:09:57,623 --> 00:10:00,123 - Bye. We got work to do. 128 00:10:00,623 --> 00:10:03,923 And l hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. 129 00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:09,423 I will, Ma. I know it's out there. 130 00:10:09,723 --> 00:10:13,323 It's out there, all right. If you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it. 131 00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:15,723 "See a doctor and get rid of it." - Good luck. 132 00:10:15,923 --> 00:10:18,423 "Lord loves a working man. Don't trust Whitey. 133 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:20,723 "See a doctor and get rid of it." 134 00:10:21,923 --> 00:10:23,123 Bye, Grandma!. 135 00:10:37,723 --> 00:10:40,123 I sure do miss Navin. 136 00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,023 Is he ever coming back? 137 00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:48,923 Take away his place setting. It's making us too goddamn sad. 138 00:10:53,923 --> 00:10:55,923 I wonder if he's doing all right? 139 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,423 Navin!. How you doing? 140 00:10:59,523 --> 00:11:03,023 Don't worry about me. I think l see a car coming. 141 00:11:03,423 --> 00:11:06,523 No, wait. It's a truck!. 142 00:11:07,523 --> 00:11:09,023 Lord... 143 00:11:09,623 --> 00:11:11,523 ...take care of our little boy. 144 00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:19,723 I'm hitchhiking. - How far you going? 145 00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:22,223 St. Louis. How far are you going? 146 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,823 To the end of this fence. 147 00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:27,023 Okay. 148 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:34,023 I'm Navin Johnson. What's your name, sir? 149 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:36,923 Here we are. - Okay. 150 00:11:42,823 --> 00:11:44,723 Thanks for the company. 151 00:11:45,423 --> 00:11:48,223 I hope l can repay you someday. 152 00:12:40,223 --> 00:12:42,023 Well, what is it, boy? Are you lost? 153 00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:45,923 Do you want to play? ls it trouble? 154 00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:49,923 Trouble? 155 00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:52,723 Is it an accident? 156 00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:54,223 A drowning? 157 00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:56,223 A fire? 158 00:12:56,723 --> 00:12:58,123 Fire!. 159 00:13:01,723 --> 00:13:03,923 We've got to warn everybody!. 160 00:13:04,123 --> 00:13:07,523 I've heard about dogs like you. You're going to be famous!. 161 00:13:08,223 --> 00:13:11,923 You're going to get your picture taken, and they'll put it in the paper!. 162 00:13:12,423 --> 00:13:13,723 This is exciting!. 163 00:13:13,823 --> 00:13:17,723 You saved my life!. Come on, let's warn everybody!. 164 00:13:20,323 --> 00:13:23,223 Fire!. It's a fire!. Fire!. There's a fire!. 165 00:13:23,423 --> 00:13:26,323 Everybody!. Up!. Wake up!. It's a fire!. 166 00:13:26,523 --> 00:13:29,423 It's a fire!. This dog, he's saving everybody's life!. 167 00:13:29,623 --> 00:13:33,023 He's unbelievable!. He's some dog!. He's a lifesaver!. 168 00:13:33,223 --> 00:13:37,623 That's what l'll call him, too!. Ol' Lifesaver!. That will be your name!. 169 00:13:41,123 --> 00:13:44,523 Folks!. False alarm. There's no fire. 170 00:13:46,423 --> 00:13:49,423 Mister, don't call that dog "Lifesaver." 171 00:13:49,723 --> 00:13:52,723 No? - Call him "Shithead." 172 00:13:53,023 --> 00:13:55,423 Good. "Shithead." 173 00:13:56,323 --> 00:13:57,823 It's exciting. 174 00:13:58,623 --> 00:14:02,323 It's just exciting to have this kind of life on the road. 175 00:14:02,723 --> 00:14:04,423 A guy and his dog. 176 00:14:08,523 --> 00:14:10,123 St. Louis? 177 00:14:10,323 --> 00:14:12,223 No. Navin Johnson. 178 00:14:12,423 --> 00:14:14,723 No, do you want a lift to St. Louis? 179 00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:17,523 Okay, thanks. - Hop in. 180 00:14:20,623 --> 00:14:22,823 This'll be fine right here. 181 00:14:32,423 --> 00:14:34,023 Thank you. 182 00:14:36,023 --> 00:14:38,423 Where you going? - To the bathroom. 183 00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:41,223 Got to have a key. - Can l get one? 184 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,123 My key is for customers who buy gas. 185 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:46,923 I'm buying gas. 186 00:14:47,123 --> 00:14:48,923 I don't see no car. 187 00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,623 I just need enough for my lighter. 188 00:14:51,823 --> 00:14:52,723 Look at this!. 189 00:14:52,823 --> 00:14:55,823 And my wife wanted me to stay home. Look what l would've missed. 190 00:14:56,123 --> 00:14:58,323 A complete fill-up for a whole lighter? 191 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,923 It's on that wall. - Thank you. 192 00:15:09,523 --> 00:15:12,023 And don't walk away with it. - I won't. 193 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,223 Pop-top. 194 00:15:15,423 --> 00:15:17,623 Silver Bird, l'm talking to you!. 195 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:21,123 Listen, you want to be president of Texaco Oil? 196 00:15:22,023 --> 00:15:24,623 Sure!. - Then clean up the sink in there. 197 00:15:26,623 --> 00:15:29,223 Then l'll be president of Texaco Oil? 198 00:15:29,923 --> 00:15:31,923 Whatever happened to working your way up? 199 00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:35,823 Working for me 10 minutes, and already he wants to be president. The nerve. 200 00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:38,223 - Get to work in there!. 201 00:15:38,423 --> 00:15:40,623 But, sir, l don't work here. 202 00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:42,723 Not even for $1.10 an hour? 203 00:16:09,023 --> 00:16:12,323 "Dear Folks, l got this great job in a gas station. 204 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,523 "l don't want to say how much l'm getting... 205 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,823 "...but let's just say it's a lot! 206 00:16:17,023 --> 00:16:19,023 "l'm enclosing $2!" 207 00:16:19,223 --> 00:16:21,323 That's a good boy!. 208 00:16:21,723 --> 00:16:24,923 "lt's a lot of fun working, and Mr. Hartounian is really nice. 209 00:16:25,223 --> 00:16:27,323 "He's teaching me how to be impatient. 210 00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:33,423 "Well, l've got to go now. What do you think l do, write letters all day?" 211 00:16:36,123 --> 00:16:38,923 You actually sleep here? - Yes. Is that okay? 212 00:16:40,323 --> 00:16:42,823 Come with me. I got a beautiful little place for you. 213 00:16:43,623 --> 00:16:46,523 Put the light on. You're going to like it here. 214 00:16:48,023 --> 00:16:52,623 Like it? l love it!. This is fabulous!. 215 00:16:53,823 --> 00:16:55,723 You got the toilet here!. 216 00:16:55,923 --> 00:16:58,523 This must be the kitchen. No. 217 00:17:00,223 --> 00:17:01,623 You know what l could do... 218 00:17:01,723 --> 00:17:04,023 ...is take this wall and just turn it this way... 219 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,323 ...so l've got a larger living space... 220 00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:10,223 ...plus it'll create a flow into the main living area. It'll be incredible. 221 00:17:10,523 --> 00:17:12,823 No, l'll just elevate this about six inches... 222 00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:16,623 ...create the illusion of two rooms, and yet still have that flow. 223 00:17:16,823 --> 00:17:19,423 Then l can take bookshelves and put it here. 224 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:23,923 No, l'll put the books right over here. That way l can be relaxing over here... 225 00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:27,923 ...the customers can use the urinal. I won't disturb them, they won't disturb me. 226 00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:30,923 Take it easy. It's not here. It's in here. 227 00:17:33,523 --> 00:17:35,723 I couldn't afford this anyway. 228 00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:37,723 Well, this is it. 229 00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:40,623 It's perfect!. 230 00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:42,723 I won't have to change this at all!. 231 00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,223 Take a look. 232 00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:47,523 No kitchen, no windows, no chairs, no tables. 233 00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:49,723 It's a masterpiece of understatement. 234 00:17:50,023 --> 00:17:54,423 I'll put a bed down here, get a bigger bulb. I'll bring some sheets from the house. 235 00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:56,323 You'll be set for life. 236 00:17:58,523 --> 00:18:00,923 How much is this gonna cost me? 237 00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:04,323 Nothing. When you're rich and famous, you'll send me a postcard. 238 00:18:06,823 --> 00:18:08,323 A postcard? 239 00:18:14,623 --> 00:18:17,023 Okay!. It's a deal. 240 00:18:17,923 --> 00:18:19,123 It's a deal. 241 00:18:21,323 --> 00:18:22,623 What are those? 242 00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,723 Step outside for a second, darling. 243 00:18:25,123 --> 00:18:27,923 Navin, this is my wife Lenore. Lenore, this is Navin. 244 00:18:28,623 --> 00:18:29,823 Pleased to meet you. 245 00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:33,123 Do you know why a woman of such pulchritude is married to me? 246 00:18:33,523 --> 00:18:35,223 'Cause l make a comfortable living. 247 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,023 This is the first time l'm leaving you alone on a Sunday. 248 00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:42,023 If anything should happen to this station, this woman would leave me like a-- 249 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,623 In other words, there would be no more.... 250 00:18:47,423 --> 00:18:50,423 Do you know what l'm talking about? - Yes, sir. No more.... 251 00:18:52,723 --> 00:18:55,523 So remember, guard this station with your life... 252 00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:58,423 ...because my sex life is in your hands. 253 00:19:10,123 --> 00:19:11,823 I can fix those shocks. 254 00:19:11,923 --> 00:19:15,323 No. We just want some gas, muchacho. 255 00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:18,623 Okay. But it's Sunday. We've got to have a credit card. 256 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,623 And all the cash is locked up? 257 00:19:21,723 --> 00:19:25,623 No, not locked up. We got a lot of cash. Just that the banks are closed... 258 00:19:25,923 --> 00:19:28,523 ...and l'm not allowed to have cash coming in or out. 259 00:19:28,723 --> 00:19:31,623 I'm alone for the first time. I don't want anything to happen. 260 00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:35,823 You flash this kind of wad in front of some people, they'll kill you for it. 261 00:19:36,023 --> 00:19:37,823 So, we've got to have a credit card. 262 00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:41,223 Have we got a credit card in there? 263 00:19:41,623 --> 00:19:43,423 Credit card. 264 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,823 No, thanks. I don't smoke. 265 00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:54,523 What kind of cigarette is that? - Joint. 266 00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:55,823 Joint? 267 00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:57,723 They don't make 'em very good. 268 00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:01,123 MasterCharge do? - That's fine. We take MasterCharge. 269 00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:05,123 You want a fill-up, Mrs. Nussbaum? 270 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,923 I'm Mr. Nussbaum. 271 00:20:09,323 --> 00:20:11,623 Yeah, that's his wife's card. 272 00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:14,923 His wife's card? - Yeah, l'll vouch for him. 273 00:20:15,123 --> 00:20:17,323 Okay, as long as we got a voucher. 274 00:20:29,123 --> 00:20:30,623 Stolen!. 275 00:20:51,823 --> 00:20:54,423 I got it!. Just send a police car over. 276 00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:59,023 Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card!. I got the guys who stole it. 277 00:21:01,023 --> 00:21:03,323 Hold on, they're calling me!. I'll be right back!. 278 00:21:08,423 --> 00:21:11,723 Yes? - Yeah, throw a couple of tires in the trunk. 279 00:21:12,823 --> 00:21:14,423 Put it on the card. Radials. 280 00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:18,223 Make them whitewalls. - Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum. 281 00:21:25,323 --> 00:21:27,323 I'm back, only it's worse than l thought. 282 00:21:27,523 --> 00:21:31,323 They're not only sticking us for gas, but grabbing tires and everything. 283 00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:33,123 They're really socking it to us. 284 00:21:33,323 --> 00:21:36,023 Yeah, it's Hartounian's Gas Station at the corner-- 285 00:21:36,223 --> 00:21:38,823 Hang on a second. I don't want to get 'em suspicious. 286 00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:44,323 Don't worry, l can keep 'em here. I saw this trick in a movie. 287 00:21:48,523 --> 00:21:51,123 Got your tires!. - Yeah, good. 288 00:22:35,123 --> 00:22:36,823 Anything else? - Yeah. 289 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,023 We'll take that money you got in your pocket. 290 00:22:41,223 --> 00:22:43,423 Sure. I'll just put it on the card. 291 00:22:45,623 --> 00:22:48,523 Guess what!. You're our eighth customer today!. 292 00:22:48,723 --> 00:22:51,523 You won a free oven mitt!. 293 00:22:51,823 --> 00:22:53,923 I'll go get it for you. 294 00:23:08,523 --> 00:23:10,223 Yeah, l'm back. 295 00:23:12,123 --> 00:23:15,523 Yeah, they're gonna be here for a while. Don't worry. I've rigged it. 296 00:23:16,323 --> 00:23:19,223 You guys want to stick around for an oven mitt? 297 00:23:25,423 --> 00:23:26,923 Hang on just a second. 298 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:57,623 They might not be here exactly when you get back but... 299 00:23:58,523 --> 00:24:01,623 ...it's a blue Chevy two-door. 300 00:24:02,123 --> 00:24:05,723 And it'd be going south on Hertado Street. 301 00:24:06,223 --> 00:24:09,123 No, l can't make out the license number, but... 302 00:24:10,023 --> 00:24:12,223 ...it'd be pulling a small church. 303 00:24:12,923 --> 00:24:17,623 Any blue Chevy pulling a small church l figure that'd be the one, yeah. 304 00:24:18,823 --> 00:24:21,223 Believe me, l'm not mad at you. 305 00:24:21,523 --> 00:24:24,523 What's the matter with you? What did l lose, a couple of tires? 306 00:24:27,223 --> 00:24:30,023 Look at the bright side. We also lost a church. 307 00:24:30,823 --> 00:24:32,723 Mr. Hartounian. 308 00:24:38,423 --> 00:24:40,323 Oh, my God!. 309 00:24:42,323 --> 00:24:43,723 Thank you. 310 00:24:52,623 --> 00:24:55,223 The new phone book's here!. 311 00:24:55,423 --> 00:24:57,623 I wish l could get that excited about nothing. 312 00:24:57,823 --> 00:25:00,523 Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73!. 313 00:25:00,723 --> 00:25:03,623 "Johnson, Navin R." 314 00:25:04,323 --> 00:25:08,523 I'm somebody now!. Millions of people look at this book every day!. 315 00:25:08,823 --> 00:25:11,123 This is the kind of spontaneous publicity... 316 00:25:11,323 --> 00:25:14,423 ...your name in print, that makes people!. 317 00:25:15,623 --> 00:25:17,223 I'm in print!. 318 00:25:18,723 --> 00:25:22,123 Things are going to start happening to me now. 319 00:25:25,723 --> 00:25:27,623 "Johnson, Navin R." 320 00:25:27,823 --> 00:25:29,923 Sounds like a typical bastard. 321 00:25:34,023 --> 00:25:36,623 Die, Navin R. Johnson. 322 00:25:40,123 --> 00:25:41,223 Bastard!. 323 00:25:41,423 --> 00:25:44,723 Random son of a bitch, typical run-of-the-mill bastard. 324 00:25:45,523 --> 00:25:47,923 Fill 'er up? - Fill 'er up and a little bit extra. 325 00:25:48,123 --> 00:25:51,523 Stan Fox, buying gas. - Navin R. Johnson selling it, sir!. 326 00:25:52,123 --> 00:25:54,423 - Gotcha, you average... 327 00:25:54,723 --> 00:25:58,923 ...typical blocking-the-view- of-a-goddamn-average-victim bastard!. 328 00:25:59,523 --> 00:26:02,323 Check your oil? - Check away, Navin R. Johnson. 329 00:26:02,523 --> 00:26:04,023 Oil rag at the ready, sir!. 330 00:26:04,123 --> 00:26:06,423 Let's check the oil together. - Yes, sir. 331 00:26:07,323 --> 00:26:08,123 Thank you. 332 00:26:11,323 --> 00:26:12,623 Son-of-a-blocking bastard!. 333 00:26:13,723 --> 00:26:16,323 Looks good to me, sir, but l'd like your opinion. 334 00:26:16,623 --> 00:26:18,023 Damn these glasses. 335 00:26:18,323 --> 00:26:20,923 It looks good to me, too. Hurry up. Time's a wasting. 336 00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:25,023 I'm going to the john. Don't forget to check those tires. Damn these glasses. 337 00:26:25,323 --> 00:26:27,923 Yes, sir!. I damn thee!. 338 00:26:29,123 --> 00:26:30,523 Damn!. 339 00:26:34,823 --> 00:26:37,023 Damn these glasses!. 340 00:26:38,323 --> 00:26:40,523 - I can fix those glasses. You can? 341 00:26:40,823 --> 00:26:42,823 Well, here, fix those suckers!. 342 00:26:54,123 --> 00:26:55,223 Shit!. 343 00:27:15,023 --> 00:27:17,323 Guess what? l fixed 'em. 344 00:27:19,023 --> 00:27:20,523 I was back there thinking... 345 00:27:20,623 --> 00:27:23,623 ..."What causes glasses to slip on and off?. " 346 00:27:23,923 --> 00:27:26,423 And it's because when you take them on and off... 347 00:27:26,623 --> 00:27:28,623 ...you're putting pressure on the frames. 348 00:27:28,823 --> 00:27:30,423 It causes them to spread. 349 00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:33,623 So l put a little handle right here in the center... 350 00:27:33,923 --> 00:27:36,223 ...that puts the pressure on the bridge. 351 00:27:36,423 --> 00:27:38,423 Just like the tie rods on a '72 Buick. 352 00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:42,623 Plus, l put a little nose brake on here to prevent slippage. Try it. 353 00:27:43,323 --> 00:27:44,723 Use the handle. 354 00:27:48,223 --> 00:27:49,223 Well, l'll be. 355 00:27:51,023 --> 00:27:51,923 It works. 356 00:27:54,023 --> 00:27:57,623 I make a pretty good living selling shit like this. I'll tell you what. 357 00:27:57,823 --> 00:28:01,123 If l can develop this gizmo, l'll split it with you fifty-fifty. 358 00:28:01,823 --> 00:28:04,123 How much for the gas? l got a load of shit to sell. 359 00:28:04,323 --> 00:28:07,123 $26.41 . - Here's a triple dix. Keep the change. 360 00:28:07,723 --> 00:28:09,123 Thanks!. 361 00:28:12,523 --> 00:28:15,823 Dead center!. Say your prayers, half-breed!. 362 00:28:25,623 --> 00:28:28,123 Harry!. Look at this!. 363 00:28:28,823 --> 00:28:31,323 What's the matter with these cans? 364 00:28:32,123 --> 00:28:34,023 Die, milk-face!. 365 00:28:37,523 --> 00:28:40,423 These cans are defective. They're springing leaks. 366 00:28:40,623 --> 00:28:42,023 Come and look at this. 367 00:28:43,423 --> 00:28:46,123 You better run for cover or you'll spring a leak. 368 00:28:46,523 --> 00:28:49,223 We don't have defective cans. We have a defective person!. 369 00:28:52,623 --> 00:28:54,523 He hates these cans. 370 00:28:56,023 --> 00:28:57,823 Stay away from the cans!. 371 00:28:58,123 --> 00:28:59,923 Die, gas pumper!. 372 00:29:01,023 --> 00:29:03,423 I've got to get away from those cans!. 373 00:29:03,723 --> 00:29:05,623 There's cans in there, too!. 374 00:29:05,723 --> 00:29:07,023 Run!. Run!. 375 00:29:10,023 --> 00:29:11,423 More cans!. 376 00:29:12,323 --> 00:29:13,923 Die, you bastard!. 377 00:29:16,623 --> 00:29:19,923 He doesn't want to put holes in cans. He wants to put holes in you. 378 00:29:20,123 --> 00:29:21,523 What? 379 00:29:24,523 --> 00:29:26,423 Milk-faced bastard!. 380 00:29:27,823 --> 00:29:29,923 Oh, my God!. I'm endangering your life!. 381 00:29:30,123 --> 00:29:31,923 Cover me!. - You're covered. 382 00:29:32,723 --> 00:29:34,423 Suck my toes!. 383 00:29:39,323 --> 00:29:41,723 You stay here!. I'll distract him!. 384 00:29:57,023 --> 00:29:59,223 Shithead!. Come on!. 385 00:30:01,423 --> 00:30:03,723 Come on, boy!. Good boy!. 386 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:36,523 "Carnival personnel only." Damn!. 387 00:30:41,323 --> 00:30:42,723 Shithead, come on!. 388 00:30:43,423 --> 00:30:45,423 You're not carnival personnel!. 389 00:30:50,423 --> 00:30:53,023 He's not carnival personnel!. 390 00:30:54,923 --> 00:30:56,723 Okay, move it out!. 391 00:31:02,723 --> 00:31:06,123 "So, Mom, when l told Mr. Hartounian l'd come back, he said: 392 00:31:06,523 --> 00:31:07,823 "'Don't be a putz. 393 00:31:08,023 --> 00:31:10,323 "'See the world. Me you've seen already.' 394 00:31:10,623 --> 00:31:14,923 "l took his advice and got a job with SJM Fiesta Shows as a weight guesser. 395 00:31:15,323 --> 00:31:18,723 "Frosty, my boss, told me there's a big future in weight guessing. 396 00:31:19,223 --> 00:31:23,023 "Enclosed is $4.75 for my loving family. 397 00:31:23,823 --> 00:31:26,523 "P.S. Is grandma still farting?" 398 00:31:26,823 --> 00:31:31,323 For $1, l'll guess your weight, your height or your sex. 399 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,323 The most exciting thing on the midway. 400 00:31:34,423 --> 00:31:38,723 Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional. 401 00:31:39,223 --> 00:31:42,023 You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest... 402 00:31:42,223 --> 00:31:44,623 ...but you're not going to fool the guesser!. 403 00:31:44,823 --> 00:31:47,023 How 'bout you, sir? Step right up!. 404 00:31:47,123 --> 00:31:50,723 Honey, let's see how good this guy is. Now, what do l win? 405 00:31:52,023 --> 00:31:55,623 Anything in this general area right in here. 406 00:31:55,923 --> 00:32:00,023 Anything below the stereo and on this side of the bicentennial glasses. 407 00:32:00,323 --> 00:32:04,123 Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble. 408 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:08,523 Anything in this three inches right in here, in this area. 409 00:32:08,823 --> 00:32:11,423 That includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers. 410 00:32:11,623 --> 00:32:13,323 No, sir!. Come on, honey. 411 00:32:13,523 --> 00:32:15,723 He thought he had himself a rube. 412 00:32:18,623 --> 00:32:20,923 Frosty, l'm no good at this. 413 00:32:21,123 --> 00:32:22,923 Come on. You're doing fine. 414 00:32:23,223 --> 00:32:26,923 I've already given away eight pencils, two hula dolls and an ashtray... 415 00:32:27,223 --> 00:32:29,323 ...and l've only taken in $15. 416 00:32:29,723 --> 00:32:32,423 Navin, you have taken in $15... 417 00:32:32,623 --> 00:32:35,223 ...and given away 50 cents worth of crap!. 418 00:32:35,923 --> 00:32:39,023 Which gives us a net profit of $14.50. 419 00:32:45,023 --> 00:32:47,323 It's a profit deal. 420 00:32:50,223 --> 00:32:52,323 Takes the pressure off. 421 00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:56,123 Get your weight guessed right here!. Only a buck!. 422 00:32:56,323 --> 00:33:00,723 Actual weight guessing!. Take a chance, win some crap. Step right up-- 423 00:33:01,023 --> 00:33:03,423 Ladies and gentlemen... 424 00:33:03,923 --> 00:33:08,323 ...l draw your attention now to the left side of the midway. 425 00:33:08,923 --> 00:33:13,223 Presenting the amazing Patti Bernstein... 426 00:33:14,323 --> 00:33:16,723 ...doing her special ride... 427 00:33:16,923 --> 00:33:19,923 ...through the Flaming Wall of Death! 428 00:34:25,323 --> 00:34:27,323 Want to guess my weight, Greenie? 429 00:34:27,723 --> 00:34:30,223 I saw you last night. You were great. 430 00:34:30,523 --> 00:34:32,723 Yeah, right. Turn around. 431 00:34:33,623 --> 00:34:34,723 What? 432 00:34:35,023 --> 00:34:36,623 Turn around. 433 00:34:38,823 --> 00:34:40,123 Go like this. 434 00:34:44,223 --> 00:34:47,423 You're okay. Give me a bite of that corn dog. 435 00:34:47,923 --> 00:34:49,823 What about germs? 436 00:34:50,823 --> 00:34:52,623 Put a rubber on it. 437 00:34:55,423 --> 00:34:56,723 Get on. 438 00:35:03,523 --> 00:35:05,723 Don't you wear him out!. He's got to work tonight. 439 00:35:12,723 --> 00:35:14,323 What a great place!. 440 00:35:17,823 --> 00:35:21,323 You know, you can tell so much about a person from the way they live. 441 00:35:21,523 --> 00:35:23,523 Just looking around here, l can tell... 442 00:35:23,723 --> 00:35:26,423 ...you're a genuinely dirty person. 443 00:35:30,423 --> 00:35:31,723 What do l do with this? 444 00:35:35,223 --> 00:35:37,023 You keep it there. 445 00:35:41,323 --> 00:35:42,723 Where's your garbage? 446 00:35:46,423 --> 00:35:47,423 There. 447 00:35:51,823 --> 00:35:54,223 Do you know what l'd like to do? - What? 448 00:35:55,723 --> 00:35:57,123 Guess your weight. 449 00:35:57,373 --> 00:35:58,823 That would be interesting for me. 450 00:35:59,023 --> 00:36:01,223 No one has tried to guess my weight. 451 00:36:01,423 --> 00:36:04,823 I guess their weight so it would be sort-- - Put your arms up. 452 00:36:07,123 --> 00:36:09,823 This will give me a whole different perspective on this. 453 00:36:15,023 --> 00:36:17,423 You're really trying to be accurate. 454 00:36:23,323 --> 00:36:25,223 Is it getting hot in here? 455 00:36:26,423 --> 00:36:28,223 Wait a minute!. 456 00:36:28,523 --> 00:36:30,923 What's happening to my special purpose? 457 00:36:31,123 --> 00:36:32,623 What's your special purpose? 458 00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:35,823 When l was a kid, my mom told me that was my special purpose... 459 00:36:36,023 --> 00:36:38,923 ...and someday l'd find out what that special purpose was!. 460 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:41,823 Today's the day!. 461 00:36:46,723 --> 00:36:48,623 This is like a ride!. 462 00:36:50,323 --> 00:36:53,823 "My dear family, guess what? 463 00:36:54,723 --> 00:36:59,923 "Today l found out what my special purpose is for. 464 00:37:01,423 --> 00:37:04,323 "Gosh, what a great time l had. 465 00:37:04,823 --> 00:37:08,623 "l wish the whole family could have been here with me. 466 00:37:09,323 --> 00:37:11,823 "Maybe some other time... 467 00:37:12,423 --> 00:37:15,423 "...as l intend to do this a lot... 468 00:37:16,323 --> 00:37:18,623 "...every chance l get. 469 00:37:19,323 --> 00:37:22,623 "l think next week l'll be able to send more money... 470 00:37:22,823 --> 00:37:25,323 "...as l may have extra work. 471 00:37:25,823 --> 00:37:28,923 "My friend Patti promised me a blow job. 472 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:31,023 "Your loving son, Navin." 473 00:37:31,523 --> 00:37:33,923 And he's got the kisses here. 474 00:37:36,123 --> 00:37:40,023 That Patti must be a sweet girl. - God bless her. 475 00:38:07,323 --> 00:38:11,523 Do you think we'll get to know each other well enough to kiss? 476 00:38:11,723 --> 00:38:14,123 We don't have to. You're my man. 477 00:38:14,323 --> 00:38:17,123 It's like we're married. Look at my ass. 478 00:38:19,823 --> 00:38:23,323 You have my last name tattooed right there under the J's. 479 00:38:24,423 --> 00:38:28,323 First l get my name in the phone book, and now l'm on your ass. 480 00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:32,623 You know, l'll bet more people see that than the phone book. 481 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:47,223 - End of the line ! 482 00:38:47,423 --> 00:38:50,823 This is Engineer Fred. Come back and visit me again. 483 00:38:55,023 --> 00:38:56,423 Billy!. 484 00:39:03,023 --> 00:39:07,523 Have you seen a 5-year-old boy, blond hair, wearing a T-shirt that says "bullshit" on it? 485 00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:12,023 No, there was just one kid had a T-shirt that said "life sucks" on it. 486 00:39:12,523 --> 00:39:15,923 We got off the Round-Up, and he said he wanted to go on the train. 487 00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:17,823 There he is!. Billy!. 488 00:39:17,923 --> 00:39:19,723 Come back here!. - Get off the train. 489 00:39:20,323 --> 00:39:22,323 Pull that lever!. Pull the lever!. 490 00:39:22,523 --> 00:39:25,123 Here, hold that!. And these!. 491 00:39:26,523 --> 00:39:30,623 Take my keys. And hold my wallet. Okay. 492 00:39:31,523 --> 00:39:34,323 Don't touch the Johnson bar, you'll explode the fuel casing!. 493 00:39:34,523 --> 00:39:37,523 And if the Wolfe and Smith indicator gets above 160... 494 00:39:37,823 --> 00:39:40,623 - ...turn that off there. I can't take you here anymore. 495 00:39:40,723 --> 00:39:43,723 There's a screwdriver. Put it in, turn it one quarter. 496 00:39:44,123 --> 00:39:45,923 Listen, we're going into a tunnel. 497 00:39:46,123 --> 00:39:48,623 Don't stand up. The clearance is only 4 foot-- 498 00:39:49,423 --> 00:39:51,023 No. - I'm okay. 499 00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:54,023 I was protected by the bill of my Engineer Fred cap. 500 00:40:10,123 --> 00:40:12,323 Thanks for pulling my cap down. 501 00:40:16,323 --> 00:40:19,523 You scared me half to death. Thank you so much. 502 00:40:19,923 --> 00:40:22,623 It would've been so embarrassing to go home without Billy. 503 00:40:22,823 --> 00:40:28,023 Here's your gloves and your oil can and your wallet. 504 00:40:28,923 --> 00:40:30,423 And this fell out. 505 00:40:33,523 --> 00:40:35,123 Those guys!. 506 00:40:35,423 --> 00:40:39,423 Listen, what you did just now was very brave. 507 00:40:39,923 --> 00:40:42,123 Is there some way l could repay you? 508 00:40:42,523 --> 00:40:43,823 Repay me? 509 00:40:43,923 --> 00:40:47,123 I could never accept anything from you for saving your child. 510 00:40:47,223 --> 00:40:51,523 He's not my child. I'm just baby-sitting for a friend. 511 00:40:52,223 --> 00:40:56,123 Would it be too much if l asked for a kiss? - No. 512 00:40:59,123 --> 00:41:00,823 He's a real little dickens. 513 00:41:09,823 --> 00:41:11,123 Thank you. 514 00:41:15,823 --> 00:41:17,023 Miss? 515 00:41:18,323 --> 00:41:21,323 I was just standing here right now, and l was... 516 00:41:21,623 --> 00:41:24,523 ...wondering, if you weren't doing anything tomorrow... 517 00:41:27,123 --> 00:41:31,223 ...maybe you might want to go out with.... 518 00:41:32,023 --> 00:41:33,223 What? 519 00:41:34,623 --> 00:41:39,123 I thought maybe you might want to go out with me. 520 00:41:39,823 --> 00:41:42,023 Are you trying to ask me for a date? 521 00:41:45,423 --> 00:41:48,823 Once for no, twice for yes. 522 00:41:51,923 --> 00:41:53,223 Okay. 523 00:41:55,323 --> 00:41:56,923 You're so cute. 524 00:41:57,123 --> 00:42:00,523 How about 3:30 tomorrow at the Round-Up? 525 00:42:00,723 --> 00:42:02,223 Okay. 526 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,023 Do you have any boyfriends? 527 00:42:08,823 --> 00:42:09,923 Not really. 528 00:42:10,123 --> 00:42:13,823 Are they crazy? lf l was a fella, l'd be around all the time. 529 00:42:14,023 --> 00:42:16,623 Well, see if you can work it out. 530 00:42:17,023 --> 00:42:18,823 We have a date tomorrow. 531 00:42:20,423 --> 00:42:22,323 What's your name? 532 00:42:23,023 --> 00:42:24,023 Marie. 533 00:42:25,623 --> 00:42:27,123 What's yours? 534 00:42:27,323 --> 00:42:31,523 I'll tell you tomorrow. It'll give us something interesting to talk about. 535 00:42:49,123 --> 00:42:50,123 Hi!. 536 00:42:50,323 --> 00:42:52,323 What's up, hubby? 537 00:42:54,223 --> 00:42:55,723 I got these for you. 538 00:42:59,123 --> 00:43:00,223 Thanks. 539 00:43:00,723 --> 00:43:03,823 Navin, you know the other day when l showed you the tattoo? 540 00:43:04,023 --> 00:43:05,223 Yeah. 541 00:43:06,323 --> 00:43:08,323 Well, l forgot to tell you something. 542 00:43:08,523 --> 00:43:10,823 Really? What? - This. 543 00:43:16,623 --> 00:43:21,723 That's what's going to happen to you if l ever catch you looking at another broad. 544 00:43:22,223 --> 00:43:23,723 I'm glad you told me. 545 00:43:23,823 --> 00:43:27,423 And remember, l did this without anger. 546 00:43:28,323 --> 00:43:31,023 And l stayed away from your crotch. 547 00:43:32,323 --> 00:43:33,923 Bye, sweetie. 548 00:43:36,323 --> 00:43:39,023 - Hi!. What happened? 549 00:43:39,423 --> 00:43:42,523 It was unbelievable. These guys jumped me. 550 00:43:42,823 --> 00:43:45,723 They tried to get these flowers. I got 'em for you. 551 00:43:45,923 --> 00:43:48,523 It's kind of a traditional date deal. 552 00:43:48,723 --> 00:43:51,823 Yeah, l've heard of that. What were they? 553 00:43:53,423 --> 00:43:55,223 Couple of dozen roses. 554 00:43:56,123 --> 00:43:57,823 Look like daisy stems. 555 00:43:58,023 --> 00:44:00,923 What? That guy gypped me. 556 00:44:01,123 --> 00:44:04,023 Put daisy stems on my roses. 557 00:44:05,023 --> 00:44:07,223 Look, these hoodlums are dangerous. 558 00:44:07,423 --> 00:44:10,123 I think we ought to get out of here before she sees us. 559 00:44:10,623 --> 00:44:12,723 "She"? - What? 560 00:44:12,923 --> 00:44:15,623 You said "she." - No!. 561 00:44:15,723 --> 00:44:17,523 I always call a gang "she." 562 00:44:17,723 --> 00:44:21,123 It's like when you call a boat "she" or a hurricane "she." 563 00:44:21,323 --> 00:44:22,423 Or a girl? 564 00:44:23,023 --> 00:44:27,223 You can call a girl "she." That's just one of the many things you can call "she." 565 00:44:30,223 --> 00:44:32,023 Why are you smiling? 566 00:44:32,823 --> 00:44:35,323 You're the fiirst person l've ever had at my place. 567 00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:37,023 Do you live here? 568 00:44:37,623 --> 00:44:39,123 It's nice. 569 00:44:39,323 --> 00:44:40,523 Did you decorate it? 570 00:44:40,623 --> 00:44:44,223 I got this from the old Cup O' Pizza place before they tore it down. 571 00:44:48,423 --> 00:44:50,023 That was really good pizza. 572 00:44:50,123 --> 00:44:52,123 This is the best pizza in a cup ever. 573 00:44:52,323 --> 00:44:55,923 This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old Cup O' Pizza guy out of business. 574 00:44:56,223 --> 00:44:58,623 People come from all over to get this. 575 00:45:13,132 --> 00:45:16,424 You know, you have beautiful skin. 576 00:45:18,823 --> 00:45:20,023 May l? 577 00:45:26,423 --> 00:45:29,023 So smooth and flexible. 578 00:45:30,023 --> 00:45:32,623 I take after my mother's side of the family. 579 00:45:32,923 --> 00:45:36,623 It's amazing the way it just snaps back like that. Amazing. 580 00:45:39,623 --> 00:45:41,623 Are you a model? - No. 581 00:45:43,123 --> 00:45:45,123 I'm a cosmetologist. 582 00:45:45,623 --> 00:45:48,223 Really? A cosmetologist? 583 00:45:49,123 --> 00:45:51,023 That's unbelievable. 584 00:45:51,623 --> 00:45:53,223 That's impressive. 585 00:45:53,723 --> 00:45:56,423 It must be tough to handle the weightlessness. 586 00:45:58,423 --> 00:46:00,423 Can l ask you a personal question? 587 00:46:02,023 --> 00:46:03,523 What is it? 588 00:46:05,223 --> 00:46:07,023 Now be totally honest. 589 00:46:08,523 --> 00:46:10,723 You do have a boyfriend, don't you? 590 00:46:11,523 --> 00:46:12,723 Kind of. 591 00:46:14,523 --> 00:46:16,723 I know this is our first date, but... 592 00:46:19,123 --> 00:46:23,023 ...do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend... 593 00:46:24,923 --> 00:46:26,523 ...you could think of me? 594 00:46:26,723 --> 00:46:30,223 I haven't made love to him yet. - That's too bad. 595 00:46:31,523 --> 00:46:33,423 Do you think it's possible that... 596 00:46:33,923 --> 00:46:35,123 ...someday... 597 00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:38,923 ...you could make love with me and think of him? 598 00:46:39,223 --> 00:46:40,523 Who knows? 599 00:46:40,723 --> 00:46:43,723 Maybe you and he can make love and you could think of me. 600 00:46:45,623 --> 00:46:48,023 I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere. 601 00:47:04,923 --> 00:47:06,423 Do you have a girlfriend? 602 00:47:06,723 --> 00:47:10,423 Does it matter? - I'd like to think you were available. 603 00:47:10,723 --> 00:47:12,523 I'm available. 604 00:47:24,223 --> 00:47:26,026 Did you forget about my ass? 605 00:47:26,084 --> 00:47:28,323 No, l've been thinking about it. 606 00:47:28,413 --> 00:47:30,323 She tattooed my name on her ass. 607 00:47:30,523 --> 00:47:32,523 Not just my name. A lot of names!. 608 00:47:32,823 --> 00:47:36,523 And funny things, too. She's got one up here that says "Slippery when wet." 609 00:47:36,723 --> 00:47:39,823 How do you know that? - What is she, some great piece of ass? 610 00:47:40,123 --> 00:47:42,223 She's no great piece of ass!. 611 00:47:43,123 --> 00:47:46,023 I mean, wait a minute. 612 00:47:46,523 --> 00:47:49,423 We're all adults here. Let's reason this out. 613 00:47:49,723 --> 00:47:52,023 Marie's the type of person that if you got-- 614 00:47:52,223 --> 00:47:54,323 If this gash doesn't get out of here... 615 00:47:54,523 --> 00:47:56,923 ...l am gonna drive this bike up her butt!. 616 00:47:57,023 --> 00:47:58,823 While Patti tends to be more direct. 617 00:47:58,923 --> 00:48:00,923 As for you, farm boy.... 618 00:48:02,123 --> 00:48:03,423 We're married!. 619 00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:05,823 And as for you, kewpie doll-- 620 00:48:09,423 --> 00:48:11,923 You protected me. You must really like me. 621 00:48:17,799 --> 00:48:20,198 ♫ "l know, l know 622 00:48:20,498 --> 00:48:22,398 ♫ "You belong 623 00:48:22,998 --> 00:48:26,996 ♫ "To somebody new 624 00:48:28,196 --> 00:48:30,695 ♫ "But tonight 625 00:48:30,995 --> 00:48:34,994 ♫ "You belong to me 626 00:48:39,093 --> 00:48:41,392 ♫ "Although, although 627 00:48:41,592 --> 00:48:43,992 ♫ "We're apart 628 00:48:44,292 --> 00:48:46,391 ♫ "You're part 629 00:48:46,691 --> 00:48:49,190 ♫ "Of my heart 630 00:48:49,590 --> 00:48:51,889 ♫ "And tonight 631 00:48:52,189 --> 00:48:56,188 ♫ "You belong to me 632 00:49:00,287 --> 00:49:02,487 ♫ "Way down 633 00:49:02,886 --> 00:49:04,986 ♫ "By the stream 634 00:49:05,486 --> 00:49:07,485 ♫ "How sweet 635 00:49:08,185 --> 00:49:10,184 ♫ "lt would seem 636 00:49:10,784 --> 00:49:12,584 ♫ "Once more 637 00:49:12,884 --> 00:49:15,483 ♫ "Just to dream 638 00:49:15,883 --> 00:49:18,782 ♫ "ln the moonlight 639 00:49:20,082 --> 00:49:23,981 ♫ "My honey, l know, l know 640 00:49:24,180 --> 00:49:26,380 ♫ "With the dawn 641 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,479 ♫ "That you 642 00:49:29,279 --> 00:49:31,678 ♫ "Will be gone 643 00:49:31,978 --> 00:49:34,078 ♫ "But tonight 644 00:49:34,678 --> 00:49:36,777 ♫ "You belong 645 00:49:37,477 --> 00:49:41,276 ♫"To me, just to little old me" ♫ 646 00:50:12,967 --> 00:50:14,566 You know... 647 00:50:15,566 --> 00:50:17,966 ...while you were playing that just now... 648 00:50:19,265 --> 00:50:22,164 ...l had the craziest fantasy that l could... 649 00:50:23,164 --> 00:50:24,464 ...rise up... 650 00:50:25,064 --> 00:50:28,762 ...float right down the end of this cornet... 651 00:50:29,462 --> 00:50:31,362 ...right through here... 652 00:50:31,562 --> 00:50:33,661 ...through these valves... 653 00:50:33,861 --> 00:50:36,260 ...right along this tube... 654 00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,060 ...come right up against your lips... 655 00:50:40,059 --> 00:50:41,959 ...and give you a kiss. 656 00:50:44,758 --> 00:50:46,358 Why didn't you? 657 00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:49,057 I didn't want to get spit on me. 658 00:51:41,842 --> 00:51:43,942 Was it good for you, too? 659 00:51:47,641 --> 00:51:49,940 I really do want to kiss you... 660 00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:53,739 ...but l'm afraid. 661 00:51:54,439 --> 00:51:57,438 I would have kept my tongue in. - No, l mean... 662 00:52:00,137 --> 00:52:02,436 ...l'm afraid if l kiss you... 663 00:52:04,536 --> 00:52:06,535 ...l'll fall in love with you. 664 00:52:07,535 --> 00:52:08,935 You will? 665 00:52:09,634 --> 00:52:11,534 And l don't want to. 666 00:52:12,933 --> 00:52:14,433 You don't? 667 00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:20,131 My mother sacrificed everything to send me through cosmetology school. 668 00:52:20,431 --> 00:52:21,831 She did? 669 00:52:23,331 --> 00:52:26,130 She has this dream for me to be something. 670 00:52:26,830 --> 00:52:28,229 She does? 671 00:52:29,429 --> 00:52:32,528 To marry someone with power... 672 00:52:33,528 --> 00:52:35,727 ...money, vision. 673 00:52:37,127 --> 00:52:39,526 Someone with a special purpose. 674 00:52:43,025 --> 00:52:44,725 I've got one!. 675 00:52:45,424 --> 00:52:48,624 I've got a special purpose!. - You do? 676 00:52:48,823 --> 00:52:50,723 Yes!. It's fantastic!. 677 00:52:50,923 --> 00:52:54,022 It's great!. It's unbelievable!. 678 00:52:54,322 --> 00:52:58,221 And l was afraid to tell you about it. Your mother's gonna love me!. 679 00:53:01,220 --> 00:53:03,419 Marie, are you awake? 680 00:53:05,619 --> 00:53:06,718 Good. 681 00:53:08,618 --> 00:53:10,717 You look so beautiful and peaceful... 682 00:53:11,117 --> 00:53:12,717 ...you almost look dead. 683 00:53:15,816 --> 00:53:17,316 I'm glad because... 684 00:53:17,715 --> 00:53:21,514 ...there's something l want to say that's always been difficult for me to say. 685 00:53:23,714 --> 00:53:27,213 I slit the sheet, the sheet l slit and on the slitted sheet l sit. 686 00:53:29,912 --> 00:53:33,511 I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that. 687 00:53:34,711 --> 00:53:36,910 You give me confidence in myself. 688 00:53:38,510 --> 00:53:42,409 I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days... 689 00:53:42,808 --> 00:53:46,707 ...but to me, it seems like nine weeks and five days. 690 00:53:48,807 --> 00:53:51,406 The first day seemed like a week. 691 00:53:52,106 --> 00:53:55,505 And the second day seemed like five days. 692 00:53:56,105 --> 00:53:58,604 And the third day seemed like a week again. 693 00:53:59,004 --> 00:54:02,303 And the fourth day seemed like eight days. 694 00:54:03,003 --> 00:54:06,102 But the fifth day you went to see your mother... 695 00:54:06,502 --> 00:54:08,901 ...and that seemed just like a day. 696 00:54:09,301 --> 00:54:12,400 But then you came back, and later... 697 00:54:13,100 --> 00:54:16,099 ...on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other... 698 00:54:16,299 --> 00:54:19,998 ...that started seeming like two days. 699 00:54:20,698 --> 00:54:24,097 So in the evening, it seemed like two days spilling into the next day... 700 00:54:24,397 --> 00:54:28,896 ...and that started seeming like four days. So, at the end of the sixth day... 701 00:54:29,195 --> 00:54:32,894 ...on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. 702 00:54:33,694 --> 00:54:38,793 And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. 703 00:54:40,692 --> 00:54:45,091 I have it written down, but l can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. 704 00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:49,790 Anyway, l've decided that tomorrow... 705 00:54:50,689 --> 00:54:55,588 ...when the time is right, l'm going to ask you to marry me. 706 00:54:57,987 --> 00:55:01,786 If that's okay with you, just don't say anything. 707 00:55:06,785 --> 00:55:08,784 You've made me very happy. 708 00:55:16,382 --> 00:55:21,381 ♫ "Oh, l'll see you again 709 00:55:21,781 --> 00:55:26,280 ♫ "Whenever spring breaks through again" ♫ 710 00:55:26,979 --> 00:55:28,379 Honey, sing!. 711 00:55:30,878 --> 00:55:33,977 ♫ "Time may lie heavy between 712 00:55:34,377 --> 00:55:36,377 ♫ "But what has been 713 00:55:36,577 --> 00:55:39,976 ♫ "ls past forgetting 714 00:55:40,676 --> 00:55:44,774 ♫ "This sweet memory 715 00:55:44,974 --> 00:55:50,573 ♫ "Across the years will come to me 716 00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:55,571 ♫ "Though my world may go awry 717 00:55:56,571 --> 00:56:01,070 ♫ "ln my heart will ever lie 718 00:56:02,170 --> 00:56:06,568 ♫ "Just the echo of a sigh ♫ 719 00:56:10,567 --> 00:56:12,067 "Good-bye" 720 00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:16,666 - Honey, who's the happiest guy in the world? 721 00:56:18,065 --> 00:56:19,065 You are!. 722 00:56:19,765 --> 00:56:24,264 That's right!. And who's the happiest gal? 722.5 00:56:24,765 --> 00:56:26,064 [ Shithead the Dog Barks ] 723 00:56:26,263 --> 00:56:27,962 That's right. 724 00:56:28,162 --> 00:56:31,661 Honey, guess what? l wrote a song for you this morning: 725 00:56:31,861 --> 00:56:36,260 ♫ "Oh, l'm picking out a thermos for you 726 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:40,159 ♫ "Not an ordinary thermos for you 727 00:56:40,559 --> 00:56:44,158 ♫ "But the extra best thermos you can buy 728 00:56:44,358 --> 00:56:47,757 ♫ "With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in 729 00:56:48,057 --> 00:56:51,856 ♫ "l'm picking out a thermos for you 730 00:56:52,056 --> 00:56:55,155 ♫ "And maybe a barometer, too 731 00:56:55,455 --> 00:56:59,254 ♫ "And what else can l buy so on me you'll rely 732 00:56:59,454 --> 00:57:02,053 ♫ "A rear-end thermometer, too" ♫ 733 00:57:02,353 --> 00:57:06,252 - Honey!. There's a question l've been wanting to pop but... 734 00:57:06,452 --> 00:57:08,551 ...l've been afraid you'd say no. 735 00:57:08,951 --> 00:57:13,250 - But this seems like the right time and place, so here goes. 736 00:57:14,549 --> 00:57:17,349 Honey, will you marry me? 736.5 00:57:17,949 --> 00:57:19,349 [ Shithead the Dog Barks ] 737 00:57:21,048 --> 00:57:25,446 Come on, let's seal it with a kiss!. Get in the tub with me!. 738 00:57:26,846 --> 00:57:29,545 Not you, Shithead. Where's Marie? 739 00:57:30,845 --> 00:57:32,144 What letter? 740 00:57:40,142 --> 00:57:41,742 "Dear...." 741 00:57:58,737 --> 00:58:00,337 Marie!. 742 00:58:01,136 --> 00:58:04,336 - Shithead!. Come here! Good idea! 743 00:58:06,535 --> 00:58:07,735 Why did you leave me? 744 00:58:07,935 --> 00:58:10,534 I couldn't read the letter!. It was too blurry!. 745 00:58:13,333 --> 00:58:14,533 Here, boy. 746 00:58:21,131 --> 00:58:23,030 Where are you? 747 00:58:39,826 --> 00:58:41,925 This is not going to be easy, Shithead. 748 00:58:43,225 --> 00:58:45,324 We've been together a long time. 749 00:58:46,024 --> 00:58:48,423 But l've got to head down that road. 750 00:58:49,923 --> 00:58:53,922 There'll be times out there when there won't be enough food for two. 751 00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:55,721 And l won't be able to-- 752 00:58:56,521 --> 00:58:57,921 Wait a minute. 753 00:58:58,021 --> 00:58:59,320 I'm not done yet. 754 00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:01,420 Come back, l'm not finished. 755 00:59:01,620 --> 00:59:03,419 I have some more to tell ya. 756 00:59:06,218 --> 00:59:08,818 You'll find a family who can give you a real home... 757 00:59:09,017 --> 00:59:12,017 ...with loving kids and a warm fireplace. 758 00:59:12,517 --> 00:59:14,416 - I never liked you, anyway. 759 00:59:14,716 --> 00:59:16,715 - Now get out of here!. 760 00:59:17,615 --> 00:59:20,614 - Okay, okay!. You win!. You can go with me. 761 00:59:24,813 --> 00:59:28,112 "And so, Mom, with my faithful dog leading the way... 762 00:59:28,712 --> 00:59:31,411 "...l'm out to win the hand of Marie. 763 00:59:31,611 --> 00:59:36,610 "You'd love her, Mom. She looks just like you, except she's white and blonde. 764 00:59:37,310 --> 00:59:40,609 "So, to win her back, l've vowed to make something of myself. 765 00:59:40,909 --> 00:59:45,307 "l settled in Los Angeles, took the money l saved and rented my fiirst apartment. 766 00:59:46,207 --> 00:59:48,007 "l haven't heard from Marie. 767 00:59:49,006 --> 00:59:52,805 "Things couldn't be worse. I can only send you 49 cents this week..." 768 00:59:53,105 --> 00:59:55,704 Bless his heart. - That's a good boy. 769 00:59:55,904 --> 00:59:58,504 "...as l've lost all my jobs. 770 00:59:59,004 --> 01:00:02,902 "l've been eating well. The hospital gives out free orange juice and cookies... 771 01:00:03,202 --> 01:00:06,002 "...and all l have to do is give them a pint of blood. 772 01:00:06,701 --> 01:00:10,000 "l ate there all week, three times a day." 773 01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:11,100 Pint of blood? 774 01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:15,699 "l quit when l cut myself shaving and nothing came out but air. 775 01:00:17,498 --> 01:00:21,797 "l have to go now as someone is staring at me through binoculars. 776 01:00:22,097 --> 01:00:23,897 "Your loving son, Navin." 777 01:00:27,496 --> 01:00:29,095 It's him. 778 01:00:36,193 --> 01:00:37,393 Him! 779 01:00:42,192 --> 01:00:45,691 What's him doing here? Shithead!. Shithead!. 780 01:00:47,190 --> 01:00:49,090 Attack!. Attack!. 781 01:00:50,589 --> 01:00:52,289 Not me!. 782 01:00:53,888 --> 01:00:55,688 Get off, Shithead!. 783 01:01:54,371 --> 01:01:56,571 You're going to have to sign for this. 784 01:01:59,270 --> 01:02:01,469 I have to sign before you shoot me? 785 01:02:01,669 --> 01:02:03,669 - I'm not gonna shoot ya!. 786 01:02:04,968 --> 01:02:07,468 Why not? - That was the old me. 787 01:02:07,668 --> 01:02:09,967 I was a little mixed up at that time. 788 01:02:10,167 --> 01:02:13,566 Had a bad marriage, and l just gave up smoking. 789 01:02:14,066 --> 01:02:15,765 I'm okay now. 790 01:02:16,865 --> 01:02:18,765 I'm a private detective. 791 01:02:26,163 --> 01:02:28,462 So long. - Thank you. 792 01:02:36,660 --> 01:02:38,759 "Dear Mr. Johnson... 793 01:02:39,859 --> 01:02:42,158 "...please call on me, in Suite... 794 01:02:43,458 --> 01:02:47,057 "...2655 at the Century Plaza Tower... 795 01:02:47,757 --> 01:02:49,156 "...in Los Angeles. 796 01:02:50,256 --> 01:02:55,054 "l have something of great importance to impart to you." 797 01:02:55,954 --> 01:02:58,454 Navin!. Remember me? 798 01:02:59,653 --> 01:03:02,152 No, but don't feel bad. - Fox. 799 01:03:03,652 --> 01:03:05,252 Stan Fox!. 800 01:03:05,452 --> 01:03:07,551 Remember the gas station? 801 01:03:07,851 --> 01:03:12,050 Boy, you are one hard guy to find!. 802 01:03:15,149 --> 01:03:16,748 You don't remember me. 803 01:03:18,648 --> 01:03:20,847 The glasses handle!. Look!. 804 01:03:23,047 --> 01:03:24,346 Yeah. 805 01:03:24,946 --> 01:03:27,545 My glasses handle. - Use the Opti-Grab. 806 01:03:28,145 --> 01:03:30,944 "Opti-Grab"? - Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab. 807 01:03:31,144 --> 01:03:33,744 Opti-Grab. - "Opti," from the eye... 808 01:03:33,944 --> 01:03:36,543 ...and "grab," from where you grab it!. 809 01:03:37,043 --> 01:03:38,842 Opti-grabbing it!. 810 01:03:38,942 --> 01:03:40,842 Navin, my boy, we're in business!. 811 01:03:41,242 --> 01:03:43,841 Fifty-fifty, just like we said. 812 01:03:44,141 --> 01:03:47,040 Right in here l have your first check... 813 01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:50,539 ...for two hundred and fifty big ones. 814 01:03:51,239 --> 01:03:52,738 Two-fifty? 815 01:03:53,238 --> 01:03:56,237 That's just the beginning. There's gonna be more. Lots more!. 816 01:03:56,637 --> 01:03:58,237 Can l cash this? 817 01:03:58,437 --> 01:04:02,336 You can do whatever you like. It's your money. It's a cashier's check. 818 01:04:02,936 --> 01:04:04,335 I can use money!. 819 01:04:04,835 --> 01:04:09,734 Yes, l have a cashier's check, and l'd like to cash it. 820 01:04:10,034 --> 01:04:11,833 How much is it for? 821 01:04:12,033 --> 01:04:16,232 Two hundred and fifty big ones. 822 01:04:20,531 --> 01:04:23,630 Two hundred and fifty dollareenies. 823 01:04:26,329 --> 01:04:29,928 That's two hundred and fifty doughnuts. 824 01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:34,327 You want to cash this? 825 01:04:34,627 --> 01:04:36,926 Well, l could take fifty of the doughnuts... 826 01:04:37,126 --> 01:04:40,025 ...and deposit the other two-hundred beauties. 827 01:04:40,325 --> 01:04:44,024 Have a seat, Mr. Johnson. - Thank you. 828 01:04:45,424 --> 01:04:47,523 I will need two pieces of identification. 829 01:04:47,723 --> 01:04:52,522 Yes. I have my temporary driver's license... 830 01:04:54,021 --> 01:04:57,920 ...and my astronaut application form. 831 01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:03,019 I didn't pass that, though. I failed everything but the date of birth. 832 01:05:03,319 --> 01:05:04,918 Didn't get the job. 833 01:05:05,218 --> 01:05:09,617 Everything's in order. If you'll just endorse this there. 834 01:05:10,417 --> 01:05:12,016 - I need a pen. Pen. Okay. 835 01:05:12,116 --> 01:05:14,016 Right here. - Thank you. 836 01:05:15,615 --> 01:05:18,714 Fill out this deposit slip right there. 837 01:05:19,414 --> 01:05:23,113 The endorsing and filling out of the deposit slip. 838 01:05:23,613 --> 01:05:27,612 Two-hundred and fifty... 839 01:05:28,112 --> 01:05:30,011 ...thousand-- 840 01:05:42,108 --> 01:05:44,807 "Dear Harry, guess what? 841 01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,107 "l'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. 842 01:05:47,406 --> 01:05:51,005 "But l haven't forgotten our deal. Here's that postcard l promised you. 843 01:05:51,305 --> 01:05:53,805 "l bet you thought you'd never get it. 844 01:05:54,105 --> 01:05:56,204 "Your friend forever, Navin." 845 01:05:56,604 --> 01:05:58,103 - How do you like that? 846 01:05:58,403 --> 01:06:01,203 - He promised me a postcard, and he sent me a postcard. 847 01:06:02,102 --> 01:06:03,602 - Kid has integrity. 848 01:06:21,797 --> 01:06:23,896 - Shithead, come on. 849 01:06:38,592 --> 01:06:41,191 Hello? Yes? 850 01:06:41,891 --> 01:06:44,590 Who? Mrs. Kimball? 851 01:06:46,590 --> 01:06:48,189 You're Marie's mom!. 852 01:06:49,089 --> 01:06:51,089 You read about me in the paper? 853 01:06:51,289 --> 01:06:53,888 I've been trying to contact her, l don't know where she is. 854 01:06:54,088 --> 01:06:56,087 I'd give anything to find out. 855 01:06:57,287 --> 01:06:59,086 Well, that sounds a little high. 856 01:06:59,586 --> 01:07:01,386 How about $75? 857 01:07:02,486 --> 01:07:04,985 Okay, what is it? 858 01:07:05,585 --> 01:07:07,984 The May Company in Los Angeles. 859 01:07:08,184 --> 01:07:11,383 - Shithead!. I know where she is!. I know where she is!. 860 01:07:11,783 --> 01:07:13,782 - Now, doesn't that feel good? 861 01:07:17,081 --> 01:07:19,381 - There now, we are complete. 862 01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,079 - Putting on Mask-O-Derm just took a few minutes... 863 01:07:24,279 --> 01:07:26,879 ...and when we peel it off he'll look 20 years younger. 864 01:07:27,079 --> 01:07:28,478 Alevai. 865 01:07:28,678 --> 01:07:30,278 Yes, exactly. 866 01:07:30,378 --> 01:07:35,576 Now, we'll let this dry. In the meantime, we can pick out an eye shadow and lip tint. 867 01:07:35,976 --> 01:07:37,876 Everyone follow me this way... 868 01:07:38,076 --> 01:07:41,575 ...because this is a very interesting line. I think you'll enjoy this. 869 01:07:41,775 --> 01:07:46,273 With your husband's coloring, a deep tone would bring out his lips. 870 01:07:46,573 --> 01:07:50,772 This Nature Beige will feature his eyes just wonderfully. 871 01:07:51,072 --> 01:07:52,871 - Let's try everything. 872 01:07:55,971 --> 01:07:57,170 What? 873 01:07:59,070 --> 01:08:02,969 Let's go unmask lrving. Everyone, back this way. 874 01:08:03,469 --> 01:08:06,568 We are now going to peel off our Mask-O-Derm. 875 01:08:06,768 --> 01:08:11,066 Irving's skin will be tighter, firmer and he'll look like a different man. 876 01:08:11,366 --> 01:08:13,166 You'll be amazed. 877 01:08:13,666 --> 01:08:15,665 Get ready, lrving!. 878 01:08:30,261 --> 01:08:33,160 This shit really worked. 879 01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:42,058 My sweetheart. 880 01:08:42,658 --> 01:08:45,557 What are you doing to my husband, you Miss Blondie? 881 01:08:45,657 --> 01:08:47,956 Irving, are you crazy? 882 01:08:48,156 --> 01:08:51,255 "Dear Mom, the big news is: Marie and l were married. 883 01:08:51,555 --> 01:08:52,955 "We couldn't wait. 884 01:08:53,055 --> 01:08:58,253 "We found someone at the Hollywood View Apartments who could do it immediately. 885 01:08:58,653 --> 01:09:00,753 "He was a certifiied priest. 886 01:09:03,552 --> 01:09:05,951 "We were both glad we had a religious wedding. 887 01:09:06,551 --> 01:09:08,950 "Money hasn't changed our lives that much. 888 01:09:09,250 --> 01:09:12,849 "Our one little extravagance is a live-in butler and housekeeper." 889 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:17,048 Another check!. Just as l thought. 890 01:09:17,248 --> 01:09:20,447 Look at that. Nearly $750,000. 891 01:09:20,747 --> 01:09:25,146 With this kind of income, you could buy a larger house with servants' quarters. 892 01:09:25,746 --> 01:09:29,644 "Well, Mom, remember my dream of owning a big house on a hill... 893 01:09:29,944 --> 01:09:34,743 "...and how l used to wish for a living room with a plaster lion in it from Mexico? 894 01:09:34,943 --> 01:09:38,542 "And how l always wanted a large 24-seat dining table... 895 01:09:38,742 --> 01:09:43,941 "...in a dining room with original paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt? 896 01:09:44,540 --> 01:09:47,040 "And remember how l always wanted a rotating bed... 897 01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,139 "...with pink chiffon and zebra stripes? 898 01:09:50,339 --> 01:09:52,938 "And remember how l used to chitchat with dad about... 899 01:09:53,238 --> 01:09:56,237 "...always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam... 900 01:09:56,637 --> 01:09:59,336 "...and an offiice with orange and white stripes? 901 01:09:59,536 --> 01:10:04,235 "Remember how much l wanted an all red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel... 902 01:10:04,535 --> 01:10:08,234 "...and how l wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers... 903 01:10:08,434 --> 01:10:11,233 "...and a party room with fancy friends? 904 01:10:12,033 --> 01:10:15,632 "And remember how much l wanted a big backyard with Grecian statues... 905 01:10:15,932 --> 01:10:18,531 "...S-shaped hedges, and three swimming pools? 906 01:10:18,731 --> 01:10:20,630 "Well, l got that too. 907 01:10:23,330 --> 01:10:25,629 "Marie and l are getting along swell... 908 01:10:26,129 --> 01:10:29,628 "...but l've got a lot to learn about handling my money and banks. 909 01:10:30,128 --> 01:10:31,827 "You have to be careful. 910 01:10:33,627 --> 01:10:35,326 "Poor Hobart. 911 01:10:35,526 --> 01:10:38,525 "His dear wife Hester took money out of her savings account... 912 01:10:38,725 --> 01:10:41,924 "...and had to pay a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 913 01:10:46,723 --> 01:10:49,822 "Enclosed is this week's check. Love, Navin." 914 01:10:50,822 --> 01:10:52,821 Sorry about your wife, Hobart. 915 01:10:53,021 --> 01:10:55,221 Federal regulations, sir. 916 01:10:56,020 --> 01:10:57,220 Dear me. 917 01:10:57,620 --> 01:11:01,719 Your wife has given you another gold chain. 918 01:11:02,719 --> 01:11:04,418 I'd nearly forgotten. 919 01:11:04,918 --> 01:11:08,317 I suppose l'm still not quite over Hester's death. 920 01:11:08,517 --> 01:11:10,316 Well, these things take time. 921 01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:12,516 Yes, so l'm told. 922 01:11:12,716 --> 01:11:16,515 Here's your drink, sir. Like the one you saw in the magazine. 923 01:11:16,815 --> 01:11:19,214 You got the bamboo umbrella and everything. 924 01:11:22,713 --> 01:11:25,712 See that? "Be somebody." 925 01:11:28,711 --> 01:11:31,111 Very good, sir. Very good. 926 01:11:34,010 --> 01:11:36,609 There are some charity people here to see you, sir. 927 01:11:36,809 --> 01:11:39,508 No ! Send them away ! 928 01:11:39,608 --> 01:11:42,008 There's a lot of people more deserving than me ! 929 01:11:42,208 --> 01:11:45,107 But these people want you to give. 930 01:11:49,905 --> 01:11:51,005 Okay. 931 01:11:51,205 --> 01:11:54,604 My name is Father Carlos Las Vegas De Cordoba. 932 01:11:55,404 --> 01:11:57,903 Father, you seem like a religious man. 933 01:11:58,403 --> 01:11:59,803 How can l help you? 934 01:11:59,903 --> 01:12:03,602 By giving me three minutes of your time so that you can see some film... 935 01:12:03,802 --> 01:12:07,201 ...of a great ugliness that is spreading in my country. 936 01:12:08,300 --> 01:12:11,000 God. I'll bet it's disgusting. 937 01:12:11,999 --> 01:12:13,799 Hobart? - Yes, sir? 938 01:12:13,999 --> 01:12:16,398 Are you over your grief enough to dim the lights? 939 01:12:16,598 --> 01:12:20,097 Of course, sir. One can't mourn forever. 940 01:12:20,497 --> 01:12:23,396 You will not believe what you are about to see... 941 01:12:24,096 --> 01:12:26,695 ...that human beings could have sunk so low... 942 01:12:26,995 --> 01:12:30,794 ...that they can take pleasure to do this to another of God's creatures. 943 01:12:30,994 --> 01:12:33,493 I hope you have a strong stomach, senor. 944 01:12:33,693 --> 01:12:35,093 Roll the ugliness. 945 01:13:14,382 --> 01:13:18,481 Good Lord. I've heard about this. Cat juggling. 946 01:13:38,275 --> 01:13:41,274 Stop it, stop it, stop it!. 947 01:13:42,374 --> 01:13:43,474 Good. 948 01:13:44,373 --> 01:13:48,572 Father, could there be a God that would let this happen? 949 01:13:49,972 --> 01:13:51,771 How much do you want? 950 01:13:52,071 --> 01:13:55,670 If your initial investment is $500,000... 951 01:13:55,870 --> 01:13:58,470 ...and your apartments are up in March... 952 01:13:58,669 --> 01:14:02,868 ...you should have "x" amount of dollars rolling in by the end of this year. 953 01:14:03,568 --> 01:14:06,167 "x" amount. That's very good, isn't it? 954 01:14:06,467 --> 01:14:09,666 You can depreciate the entire building for the full amount. 955 01:14:09,866 --> 01:14:12,566 Depreciate! Very good. I like that. 956 01:14:12,766 --> 01:14:15,665 And we've found a way to get around this fair housing crap. 957 01:14:15,965 --> 01:14:18,664 Good! Getting around the crap. That's good. 958 01:14:19,664 --> 01:14:23,063 By keeping the rents high, we'll appeal to a select class of people. 959 01:14:23,263 --> 01:14:25,062 Select class. Very good. 960 01:14:26,562 --> 01:14:28,361 We'll keep the eggplants out. 961 01:14:28,561 --> 01:14:30,960 Good. We don't want any vegetables. 962 01:14:31,160 --> 01:14:33,160 No. The jungle bunnies! 963 01:14:33,560 --> 01:14:35,859 Of course. They'll eat the vegetables. 964 01:14:36,559 --> 01:14:38,758 Boss, could l talk to him? 965 01:14:39,358 --> 01:14:41,458 We're gonna keep out the niggers. 966 01:14:42,257 --> 01:14:43,157 The what? 967 01:14:43,357 --> 01:14:45,456 The niggers. We'll keep 'em out. 968 01:14:46,156 --> 01:14:47,356 - Yes. Sir... 969 01:14:48,156 --> 01:14:50,555 ...you are talking to a nigger! 970 01:15:37,942 --> 01:15:40,041 - Don't be so hard on yourself. 971 01:15:40,241 --> 01:15:43,140 How could you know that was "lron Balls" McGinty? 972 01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,840 Escargot. Salad. 973 01:15:47,339 --> 01:15:50,238 Would Monsieur care for another bottle of the Château Latour. 974 01:15:50,438 --> 01:15:52,638 Yes, but no more 1966. 975 01:15:52,838 --> 01:15:55,737 Let's splurge. Bring us some fresh wine. 976 01:15:56,037 --> 01:15:57,436 The freshest you've got. 977 01:15:57,536 --> 01:15:59,936 This year's. No more of this old stuff. 978 01:16:01,335 --> 01:16:02,735 Oui, Monsieur. 979 01:16:03,235 --> 01:16:06,734 He doesn't realize he's dealing with sophisticated people here. 980 01:16:07,334 --> 01:16:08,933 Marie, just stay calm. 981 01:16:09,433 --> 01:16:10,633 Don't look down. 982 01:16:10,833 --> 01:16:14,532 Don't look down. Look up. Keep your eyes up and keep 'em that way. 983 01:16:14,832 --> 01:16:15,731 Waiter. 984 01:16:18,431 --> 01:16:20,830 There are snails on her plate. 985 01:16:23,529 --> 01:16:26,128 Now get them out of here before she sees them! 986 01:16:26,428 --> 01:16:28,528 Look away! Keep your eyes that way! 987 01:16:29,328 --> 01:16:33,426 You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this you'd be able to keep the snails... 988 01:16:33,626 --> 01:16:35,426 ...off the food! 989 01:16:35,526 --> 01:16:38,425 There are so many snails in there you can't see the food. 990 01:16:38,625 --> 01:16:42,224 Remove them!. Bring me the cheese sandwich appetizers you talked me out of. 991 01:16:42,524 --> 01:16:43,923 Oui, Monsieur. 992 01:16:45,223 --> 01:16:46,623 Can you believe this? 993 01:16:46,823 --> 01:16:50,522 First they didn't have umbrellas for the wine, now snails on the food. 994 01:16:50,722 --> 01:16:53,421 Two boobs. That's what he takes us for. 995 01:17:05,317 --> 01:17:07,417 Hi, honey. - Hi, doll face. 996 01:17:07,617 --> 01:17:08,816 Everything okay? 997 01:17:09,016 --> 01:17:12,915 Remember how you told me to take unnecessary lessons? 998 01:17:13,215 --> 01:17:15,215 Well, l just took a lesson. 999 01:17:15,515 --> 01:17:17,914 And a very good student too. Adios, senora. 1000 01:17:18,914 --> 01:17:20,613 You took bullfighting? 1001 01:17:20,813 --> 01:17:22,813 No. Knife-throwing. 1002 01:17:24,212 --> 01:17:25,712 Knife-throwing's great!. 1003 01:17:25,912 --> 01:17:29,211 - I can almost do it. Well, let me see your stuff!. 1004 01:17:29,411 --> 01:17:30,610 Okay. 1005 01:17:31,910 --> 01:17:34,109 This is very good for a beginner. 1006 01:17:36,509 --> 01:17:38,908 This is exciting. I love this!. 1007 01:17:39,708 --> 01:17:41,008 Come on!. 1008 01:17:42,507 --> 01:17:44,507 - Turn sideways... Okay. 1009 01:17:44,806 --> 01:17:46,906 ...and put a balloon in your mouth. 1010 01:17:47,706 --> 01:17:49,305 Do you have a balloon? 1011 01:17:50,105 --> 01:17:52,804 No. Wait. Yes!. 1012 01:17:54,304 --> 01:17:55,204 - Okay. 1013 01:17:56,403 --> 01:17:57,903 Is it in your mouth? 1014 01:17:58,103 --> 01:18:00,902 Throw 'em good and hard, so they'll stick. 1015 01:18:02,302 --> 01:18:03,501 Okay. 1016 01:18:06,900 --> 01:18:08,000 One... 1017 01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:10,099 ...two... 1018 01:18:11,299 --> 01:18:12,399 ...three!. 1019 01:18:13,398 --> 01:18:14,698 Four, five, six!. 1020 01:18:19,597 --> 01:18:20,996 I missed. 1021 01:18:21,396 --> 01:18:22,996 Honey, you did good. 1022 01:18:23,496 --> 01:18:25,795 I can't do anything right. 1023 01:18:26,795 --> 01:18:29,494 Honey, you worry too much. 1024 01:18:30,694 --> 01:18:34,293 Come on. Let's flop this over and look at it another way. 1025 01:18:34,593 --> 01:18:37,392 Do you realize that in the past two short months... 1026 01:18:37,592 --> 01:18:42,890 ...we have acquired the sophistication it takes some people a lifetime to acquire? 1027 01:18:43,390 --> 01:18:44,890 Come on!. 1028 01:18:45,290 --> 01:18:46,789 Let's toast!. 1029 01:19:44,473 --> 01:19:48,072 - Everybody, Navin's on TV. Marie, it's Navin!. 1030 01:19:48,372 --> 01:19:51,171 Look, honey, here's that interview you did on TV. 1031 01:19:51,571 --> 01:19:53,171 Shut off the music!. 1032 01:19:54,470 --> 01:19:57,070 Everyone, we're going to watch Navin on the TV. 1033 01:19:57,270 --> 01:20:00,469 Sit down, sit down. On the floor. Sit around. 1034 01:20:01,168 --> 01:20:03,868 - "American Time news magazine turns its probing eye... 1035 01:20:04,068 --> 01:20:06,967 ...on Navin Johnson, the inventor of the Opti-Grab... 1036 01:20:07,367 --> 01:20:11,666 ...that little glasses handle that sold 10 million units in a few short months. 1037 01:20:12,665 --> 01:20:16,764 Mr. Johnson, you've become a millionaire overnight. Who are you?" 1038 01:20:18,664 --> 01:20:20,663 Who is Navin Johnson? 1039 01:20:21,863 --> 01:20:25,062 Navin is a complex personality, as are most of the... 1040 01:20:25,362 --> 01:20:28,861 ...small breed of modern-day renaissance millionaires. 1041 01:20:29,561 --> 01:20:32,660 - "We had planned to show you the entire Johnson interview. 1042 01:20:33,060 --> 01:20:36,659 However, when we returned to our studio, our news department informed us... 1043 01:20:36,859 --> 01:20:40,058 ...of a sensational development in the Johnson story. 1044 01:20:40,557 --> 01:20:42,957 It seems that an irate group of citizens... 1045 01:20:43,057 --> 01:20:45,756 ...led by the celebrity, Mr. Carl Reiner... 1046 01:20:45,956 --> 01:20:49,955 ...has filed a class action suit against Mr. Johnson and his Opti-Grab. 1047 01:20:50,555 --> 01:20:53,554 Here's what Mr. Reiner had to say at a press conference:" 1048 01:20:53,754 --> 01:20:56,953 When Opti-Grab came out I thought it was the greatest thing ever. 1049 01:20:57,253 --> 01:21:00,652 And l bought a pair. And this is the result. 1050 01:21:02,351 --> 01:21:06,050 - This little handle is like a magnet. Your eyes are drawn to it... 1051 01:21:06,450 --> 01:21:08,450 ...and you end up cockeyed. 1052 01:21:08,950 --> 01:21:12,049 Now, as a director, l am constantly using my eyes... 1053 01:21:12,349 --> 01:21:16,347 ...and this Opti-Grab device has caused irreparable harm to my career. 1054 01:21:16,647 --> 01:21:18,947 Let me show you a clip from my latest film... 1055 01:21:19,147 --> 01:21:23,545 ...where my faulty depth perception kept me from yelling "cut" at the right time. 1056 01:21:27,844 --> 01:21:29,014 - Cut! 1057 01:21:36,942 --> 01:21:41,941 - If l had yelled "cut" on time, those actors would be alive today. 1058 01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:46,539 - That's why l am spearheading the $10 million class action suit... 1059 01:21:46,839 --> 01:21:50,438 ...against Mr. Johnson, and his irresponsible selling of a product... 1060 01:21:50,738 --> 01:21:53,237 ...he didn't even test on prisoners! 1061 01:21:54,337 --> 01:21:56,736 Thank you. - Party's over!. 1062 01:22:00,035 --> 01:22:01,935 Wait a second. Where you going? 1063 01:22:03,234 --> 01:22:05,834 I'm gonna get in touch with that Reiner guy. 1064 01:22:07,233 --> 01:22:09,333 I got some change upstairs. 1065 01:22:09,533 --> 01:22:12,432 We'll get some potato chips and there's some beer up there. 1066 01:22:12,532 --> 01:22:14,631 We'll make it a less formal thing. 1067 01:22:16,331 --> 01:22:18,330 - Let's find another party. 1068 01:22:21,429 --> 01:22:24,329 Honey! Why the gloom? 1069 01:22:24,728 --> 01:22:26,828 This is not the end of the rainbow. 1070 01:22:28,327 --> 01:22:30,427 I'm Navin Johnson, inventor! 1071 01:22:30,627 --> 01:22:33,526 This is no big deal. This is a parking ticket to me. 1072 01:22:34,126 --> 01:22:36,825 Only instead of $5, it's $10 million. 1073 01:22:38,325 --> 01:22:41,224 I don't care about losing all the money. 1074 01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:44,323 It's losing all the stuff. 1075 01:22:45,623 --> 01:22:47,722 We're not gonna lose the stuff. 1076 01:22:49,222 --> 01:22:50,921 This is America! 1077 01:22:51,121 --> 01:22:54,920 We're going to receive a fair trial from an impartial jury! 1078 01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:59,819 Your honor, we, the jury, find for the plaintiff. 1079 01:23:05,217 --> 01:23:07,816 I award to Mr. Reiner... 1080 01:23:08,616 --> 01:23:10,416 ...and the other 9 million... 1081 01:23:10,716 --> 01:23:13,315 ...987 thousand... 1082 01:23:13,515 --> 01:23:15,914 ...652 plaintiffs... 1083 01:23:16,614 --> 01:23:18,613 ...the full amount of the suit. 1084 01:23:20,713 --> 01:23:22,412 Court is adjourned. 1085 01:23:28,811 --> 01:23:31,610 Navin. - Honey, can't you see l'm drinking? 1086 01:23:38,908 --> 01:23:41,107 Pay to the order of... 1087 01:23:42,307 --> 01:23:44,506 ...Mrs. Wilbur Stark... 1088 01:23:45,906 --> 01:23:48,305 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1089 01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:06,800 Pay to the order of... 1090 01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:10,699 ..."lron Balls" McGinty... 1091 01:24:12,298 --> 01:24:14,698 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1092 01:24:16,797 --> 01:24:19,996 Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress? 1093 01:24:20,196 --> 01:24:24,395 Because l just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were. 1094 01:24:24,895 --> 01:24:27,494 What was it? - "The Way We Were". 1095 01:24:28,294 --> 01:24:30,793 Look at us. We've hit bottom. 1096 01:24:30,993 --> 01:24:34,892 No! Maybe you've hit bottom, but l haven't hit bottom yet! 1097 01:24:35,492 --> 01:24:36,892 I got a ways to go! 1098 01:24:38,291 --> 01:24:41,190 I'm gonna bounce back, and when l do... 1099 01:24:41,790 --> 01:24:44,989 ...l'm gonna buy you a diamond so big... 1100 01:24:45,289 --> 01:24:47,589 ...it's gonna make you puke! 1101 01:24:48,288 --> 01:24:52,087 I don't want to puke! I don't want wealth! 1102 01:24:52,687 --> 01:24:55,786 I just want you like you used to be. 1103 01:24:56,086 --> 01:24:57,986 What happened to that man? 1104 01:24:58,286 --> 01:24:59,485 Me? 1105 01:25:00,185 --> 01:25:02,584 What happened to the girl l believed in? 1106 01:25:03,284 --> 01:25:05,184 The girl l fell in love with? 1107 01:25:05,384 --> 01:25:07,283 The girl that believed in me? 1108 01:25:08,983 --> 01:25:11,182 There's plenty of places l can go... 1109 01:25:11,582 --> 01:25:13,181 ...where people believe in me. 1110 01:25:13,281 --> 01:25:16,181 So go. The sooner you're out of my life... 1111 01:25:16,481 --> 01:25:20,479 ...the sooner l can go back to being the girl in this little flowered dress... 1112 01:25:20,579 --> 01:25:24,578 ...that you sang the "Thermos Song" to. 1113 01:25:25,278 --> 01:25:27,378 Well, l'm gonna go, then. 1114 01:25:28,077 --> 01:25:31,676 I don't need any of this! I don't need this stuff! 1115 01:25:31,976 --> 01:25:34,975 And l don't need you! I don't need anything! 1116 01:25:36,375 --> 01:25:37,775 Except this. 1117 01:25:38,274 --> 01:25:41,274 This ashtray. That's the only thing l need is this! 1118 01:25:42,973 --> 01:25:44,673 I don't need this or this! 1119 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:46,472 Just this ashtray! 1120 01:25:48,072 --> 01:25:49,871 And this paddle game. 1121 01:25:50,871 --> 01:25:53,870 The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all l need. 1122 01:25:54,370 --> 01:25:57,169 And this remote control. 1123 01:25:57,769 --> 01:26:01,568 The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control. That's all l need. 1124 01:26:03,867 --> 01:26:05,667 And these matches. 1125 01:26:06,867 --> 01:26:11,565 The ashtray, these matches the remote control and the paddle ball. 1126 01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:15,264 And this lamp. 1127 01:26:17,564 --> 01:26:18,763 The ashtray... 1128 01:26:20,063 --> 01:26:23,662 ...this paddle game, the remote control... 1129 01:26:25,061 --> 01:26:27,361 ...and the lamp, and that's all l need. 1130 01:26:30,260 --> 01:26:32,059 And that's all l need, too! 1131 01:26:32,959 --> 01:26:35,259 I don't need one other thing! 1132 01:26:35,758 --> 01:26:37,658 Not one. I need this. 1133 01:26:39,857 --> 01:26:41,957 The paddle game, the chair... 1134 01:26:42,457 --> 01:26:46,356 ...the remote control and the matches, for sure. 1135 01:26:48,355 --> 01:26:50,354 What are you looking at? 1136 01:26:51,454 --> 01:26:55,053 What do you think l am, some kind of a jerk or something? 1137 01:27:01,651 --> 01:27:02,651 And this. 1138 01:27:04,850 --> 01:27:06,350 That's all l need. 1139 01:27:07,350 --> 01:27:12,148 Except the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game... 1140 01:27:12,448 --> 01:27:15,048 ...this magazine and the chair. 1141 01:27:21,546 --> 01:27:25,945 I don't need one other thing. Except my dog. 1141.5 01:27:26,546 --> 01:27:27,945 [ Shithead Growls ] 1142 01:27:28,444 --> 01:27:30,943 Well, l don't need my dog. 1143 01:28:38,724 --> 01:28:40,824 So, that's it. 1144 01:28:42,023 --> 01:28:45,922 It's an old story, one you've probably heard before. 1145 01:28:48,621 --> 01:28:51,021 But l never thought it would happen to me. 1146 01:29:05,017 --> 01:29:08,116 Any of you bums ever heard of Navin R. Johnson? 1147 01:29:10,815 --> 01:29:12,215 I've heard of him. 1148 01:29:12,515 --> 01:29:13,914 Born in Mississippi? 1149 01:29:16,114 --> 01:29:18,013 The inventor of the Opti-Grab? 1150 01:29:18,413 --> 01:29:20,712 I was just telling these guys! 1151 01:29:22,612 --> 01:29:23,912 Son!. 1152 01:29:25,411 --> 01:29:26,611 Daddy! 1153 01:29:28,310 --> 01:29:29,210 Navin. 1154 01:29:29,610 --> 01:29:31,110 Mama! - My baby! 1155 01:29:33,309 --> 01:29:35,508 I knew we'd find you! 1156 01:29:37,308 --> 01:29:39,107 Taj! - Don't kiss me! 1157 01:29:45,006 --> 01:29:47,005 I called them the night you left. 1158 01:29:47,805 --> 01:29:49,205 How'd you find me? 1159 01:29:49,404 --> 01:29:51,704 I don't know. This is the first place we looked. 1160 01:29:51,904 --> 01:29:54,303 We're taking you home and you're living with us. 1161 01:29:54,503 --> 01:29:56,802 Turns out dad's a financial genius. 1162 01:29:57,002 --> 01:30:00,002 All l did was take the money you sent home... 1163 01:30:00,201 --> 01:30:04,400 ...and embarked on a periodic investment in a no-load mutual fund. 1164 01:30:04,700 --> 01:30:08,399 He leveraged his ass deep into soy beans and cocoa futures. 1165 01:30:08,999 --> 01:30:10,199 Right on. 1166 01:30:11,398 --> 01:30:13,798 I picked out this thermos for you. 1167 01:30:18,496 --> 01:30:21,795 I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty. - Dirt doesn't bother me. 1168 01:30:23,495 --> 01:30:26,094 But the smell does. 1168.5 01:30:26,495 --> 01:30:27,894 Oh, Navin! Phew!!! 1169 01:30:28,394 --> 01:30:32,093 Son, you'd better get in the back with the dog... 1170 01:30:32,393 --> 01:30:35,292 ...until we can get you hosed down. 1171 01:30:44,089 --> 01:30:47,788 I love you, Navin! - I love you, too! 1172 01:30:49,288 --> 01:30:51,017 - Somebody open a window! 1173 01:30:51,187 --> 01:30:53,887 - Open all the windows. 1174 01:30:55,586 --> 01:30:57,585 - I was so glad to be going home. 1175 01:30:57,885 --> 01:31:00,285 I remembered the days when l sang and danced... 1176 01:31:00,485 --> 01:31:02,984 ...with my family on the porch of the old house. 1177 01:31:03,184 --> 01:31:06,883 But things change, and with all the additions to the family... 1178 01:31:07,283 --> 01:31:10,682 ...we had to tear down the old house, even though we loved it. 1179 01:31:10,982 --> 01:31:12,781 But we built us a bigger one. 1180 01:31:13,681 --> 01:31:15,880 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1181 01:31:15,980 --> 01:31:17,880 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1182 01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:20,679 ♫ "Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1183 01:31:20,879 --> 01:31:23,578 ♫ "Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1184 01:31:37,174 --> 01:31:39,674 ♫ "Me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1185 01:31:39,974 --> 01:31:42,573 ♫ "Well, me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1186 01:31:47,272 --> 01:31:49,471 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1187 01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:52,070 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1188 01:31:56,369 --> 01:31:58,868 ♫ "Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale of cotton 1189 01:31:59,068 --> 01:32:01,268 ♫ "Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale a day 1190 01:32:01,368 --> 01:32:03,867 ♫ "Gonna move all around -"And pick a bale of cotton 1191 01:32:04,067 --> 01:32:05,966 ♫ "Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 1192 01:32:06,166 --> 01:32:08,666 ♫ "Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale of cotton 1193 01:32:08,866 --> 01:32:10,665 ♫ "Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale a day 1194 01:32:10,865 --> 01:32:13,264 ♫ "Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1195 01:32:13,464 --> 01:32:15,664 ♫ "Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1196 01:32:21,862 --> 01:32:23,362 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1197 01:32:23,462 --> 01:32:25,661 ♫ "Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1198 01:32:39,957 --> 01:32:42,856 ♫ "You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1199 01:32:43,156 --> 01:32:45,855 ♫ "You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1200 01:32:49,454 --> 01:32:51,754 ♫ "Lordy pick a bale of cotton 1201 01:32:51,854 --> 01:32:54,153 ♫ "Lordy pick a bale a day 1202 01:32:54,353 --> 01:32:56,752 ♫ "Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1203 01:32:56,952 --> 01:32:59,252 ♫ "Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1204 01:33:13,648 --> 01:33:15,847 ♫ "Take it!. -"Pick a bale of cotton 1205 01:33:16,147 --> 01:33:18,446 ♫ "Pick a bale a day" ♫