1 00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:58,101 LOUIE Resnick, you got cab 529. 2 00:00:58,231 --> 00:00:59,450 Capasso... 3 00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:00,842 cab 111. 4 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,235 Come on, let's get out of here 5 00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:03,323 and get some breakfast. I'm hungry. 6 00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:04,803 - Good idea. - Let's go. 7 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:06,239 Hey, listen, Louie, when Alex comes in, 8 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,240 would you just tell him we're at Mario's? 9 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,024 He won't be in for a while. 10 00:01:09,155 --> 00:01:11,549 Hamill, 120. 11 00:01:11,679 --> 00:01:13,551 - How come? - He got shot. 12 00:01:13,681 --> 00:01:15,248 - De la Grazzi... - What?! 13 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:17,163 - 829. - What do you mean, 14 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:18,686 he got shot, Louie? What happened? 15 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,297 Some guy robbed him and shot him. 16 00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:23,343 Lucia, 338. 17 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,258 For God's sakes, Louie, where is he? 18 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:26,781 Is he all right? Is he alive? 19 00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:28,479 Last time I talked to him, he was. 20 00:01:28,609 --> 00:01:30,394 They took him to Mt. Sinai. 21 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,918 Liebowitz, 226. 22 00:01:33,048 --> 00:01:34,572 Louie, how can you just sit there like that? 23 00:01:34,701 --> 00:01:36,094 I mean, come on! Don't you care about Alex? 24 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,270 Aren't you worried about him? 25 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:38,750 Of course I care about him. 26 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,100 What kind of heel you think I am? 27 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,494 Drago, 829. 28 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,278 Come on, let's go to the hospital. Come on. 29 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:47,411 You're a sick person. 30 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,978 Huh. Hey. What are you doing here? 31 00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:51,502 - Huh? - Louie said you got shot. 32 00:01:51,632 --> 00:01:52,807 Yeah, I did. 33 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,853 Well, are you okay? 34 00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:56,594 - Huh? - Are you okay? 35 00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:58,944 Of course he's okay. The bullet just nicked his ear. 36 00:01:59,074 --> 00:02:01,512 Yeah, it was just a scratch. I'm fine, really. 37 00:02:01,642 --> 00:02:03,035 That's all? 38 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,342 Oh, the doctor said that since the gun went off 39 00:02:05,472 --> 00:02:07,300 close to my ear, that I might have 40 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,736 a little trouble hearing every now and then. 41 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,129 But I don't seem to notice anything. 42 00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,913 So, there's nothing else wrong? 43 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,393 Huh? No, it didn't take long. 44 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,221 He just put a bandage here and let me go. 45 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:16,744 It's okay. 46 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,006 Boy, you were really lucky. 47 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:19,573 - I'll say. - Yeah. 48 00:02:19,704 --> 00:02:20,792 What? 49 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,753 Boy, you were really lucky. 50 00:02:26,884 --> 00:02:27,842 I'll say. 51 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,670 Oh. 52 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,019 Yeah. 53 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:33,586 Yeah, yeah, it was really crazy. 54 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,546 You know, I-I just let this guy off, 55 00:02:35,676 --> 00:02:37,243 and all of a sudden, he sticks a gun in my face. 56 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,896 - Oh... - He asked me to give him all my money. 57 00:02:39,027 --> 00:02:40,638 I told him that most of it was locked in a strongbox 58 00:02:40,768 --> 00:02:42,683 and I didn't have the key. He didn't buy that. 59 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:45,382 So, uh... then I heard him cock the gun. 60 00:02:45,512 --> 00:02:47,166 I mean, I really got frightened. I didn't know what to do. 61 00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:49,473 So, I stepped on the gas, the gun went off, and, zing. 62 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,301 - You know. - That isscary. 63 00:02:51,431 --> 00:02:53,694 Boy, you read about these things happening all the time, 64 00:02:53,824 --> 00:02:55,392 but you never think it's going to happen to you. 65 00:02:55,521 --> 00:02:57,350 What makes you think it was a Jew? 66 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:06,490 Oh, uh, just a hunch. 67 00:03:08,883 --> 00:03:10,407 Well, listen, I-I'm going to go home and get some sleep. 68 00:03:10,537 --> 00:03:12,060 I'll see you guys later, okay? 69 00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:13,497 - Okay. Alex? - Yeah, take it easy, man. 70 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,150 You know what? Don't come in tomorrow. 71 00:03:15,281 --> 00:03:16,761 I mean, why don't you just take a couple days off? 72 00:03:16,891 --> 00:03:19,372 You know, rest, relax. 73 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,547 Oh, thanks. I got them on sale. 74 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:21,766 You like them? 75 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,508 - Huh? - Alex? 76 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,640 - Yeah? - Why don't you take a couple days off? 77 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:28,468 I mean, an experience like this has got to have an effect on you. 78 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,948 No, no, no, no. I'm fine, Elaine. 79 00:03:30,078 --> 00:03:31,776 I really am. You know the old saying-- 80 00:03:31,906 --> 00:03:33,865 you fall off a horse, you got to get right back on. 81 00:03:33,995 --> 00:03:35,345 Yeah, but I don't know if the same old saying applies 82 00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:37,303 to getting shot off a horse. 83 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,436 Oh, Elaine, I'm okay. Really, I'm okay. Believe me. 84 00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:41,394 Hey-hey, Alex, did you get a good look 85 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,048 at the guy who shot you? 86 00:03:43,178 --> 00:03:44,832 Oh, all I saw was his big gun. 87 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:47,922 Oh, yeah, he had a word tattooed across his fist-- 88 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,184 "kill." 89 00:03:50,185 --> 00:03:52,797 Never, neverpick up 90 00:03:52,927 --> 00:03:55,365 any people with tattoos. 91 00:03:55,495 --> 00:03:57,018 That's a cardinal rule. 92 00:03:57,149 --> 00:04:00,544 They're all morons, maniacs and lowlifes. 93 00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:03,677 Hey, Louie, I got a tattoo. 94 00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:06,071 Oh, yeah, and losers. 95 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,168 LOUIE Hey, Alex. 96 00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:19,389 Yeah, Louie? 97 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,086 You all right? 98 00:04:21,216 --> 00:04:22,305 Yeah, sure, Louie. 99 00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:23,654 Are you certain? 100 00:04:23,784 --> 00:04:24,698 No, it's not hurting a bit. 101 00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,221 I'm okay. 102 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:31,183 Look, Alex, I know you must be feeling a little nervous 103 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,663 after what happened last night, 104 00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:35,143 so I don't want you to feel any pressure. 105 00:04:35,274 --> 00:04:37,537 Don't pick up anybody who don't look right to you 106 00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:40,801 and stay out of the bad neighborhoods. 107 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,848 If you don't book so good, it don't matter to me. 108 00:04:45,066 --> 00:04:46,894 Well, thanks, Louie. 109 00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:48,766 All right, Nardo, I read your crummy speech. 110 00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,507 Now where's my five dollars? 111 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,729 Uh, look, Elaine, Elaine, please don't worry about me. 112 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,470 It's no big deal, huh? 113 00:05:01,474 --> 00:05:02,649 Taxi! 114 00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:06,914 Sorry, off duty. 115 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:09,961 I'll pick up the next one. 116 00:05:10,091 --> 00:05:11,179 MAN #2: Cab! 117 00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:15,836 Next one that doesn't have a safety pin through his nose. 118 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,886 MAN #3: Taxi! 119 00:05:29,284 --> 00:05:30,895 Good evening, Father. 120 00:05:31,025 --> 00:05:33,114 Front Street by Pier Six, please. 121 00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,726 What church is down there? 122 00:05:35,856 --> 00:05:36,814 I don't know. 123 00:05:36,944 --> 00:05:38,772 I-I don't think there is one. 124 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,255 That's a pretty desolate area at night. 125 00:05:44,604 --> 00:05:45,562 Guess you must have your reasons 126 00:05:45,692 --> 00:05:46,650 for going there, huh? 127 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:47,999 Uh-huh. 128 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,658 You seem sort of, uh, young to be a priest. 129 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:55,920 You been one long? 130 00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:57,182 Uh-uh. 131 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,535 Uh, Louie, this is Alex, listen... 132 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,711 I'm busy! Call back in an hour. 133 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,281 That's my dispatcher. 134 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:11,239 We keep in constant contact here, you know. 135 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:23,817 You know... say, a couple of guys down at the garage and I 136 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,906 were having this little argument, you know. 137 00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:28,561 Maybe you can clear it up for me, uh, Father. 138 00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,302 Um... yeah, we had this big fight 139 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:34,785 about who the 12 Apostles were, and, uh, I figured, uh... 140 00:06:34,915 --> 00:06:37,875 you being a priest, why, you'd know, right? 141 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:40,225 You had a fight over the 12 Apostles? 142 00:06:42,488 --> 00:06:44,359 Yeah. 143 00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,404 I bet you could rattle off their names 144 00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,623 in nothing flat. 145 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,060 Would you do that for me, Father? 146 00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:51,715 Rattle them off in nothing flat? 147 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,240 I suppose so, if you like. 148 00:06:55,370 --> 00:06:57,155 Uh, let's see... 149 00:06:57,285 --> 00:07:00,550 uh, Peter, Matthew, Judas, Andrew... 150 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,161 James the younger, James the elder, 151 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,946 Bartholomew... Simon... 152 00:07:07,121 --> 00:07:08,209 That's eight. 153 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:11,735 John. 154 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,084 Do you really need to know this? 155 00:07:14,215 --> 00:07:15,521 It would mean a lot to me 156 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:18,393 and the guys at the garage... Father. 157 00:07:18,524 --> 00:07:20,483 Thomas and Jude. 158 00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:22,920 One more. 159 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,270 Did I say Andrew? 160 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,490 Yeah, you said Andrew already. 161 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,580 Well, it's not Sneezy. 162 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,283 No, I don't think it is Sneezy. 163 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:40,981 I'm sorry, I don't remember. 164 00:07:44,245 --> 00:07:45,769 - All right, get out of the cab! - What? 165 00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:47,466 I said get out of the cab! Get out of the cab! 166 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:48,902 Try it on some other sucker. Get out of here... 167 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,687 I'll call the cops! I'll call the cops! 168 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:57,302 Wow, that was a close one. 169 00:08:11,838 --> 00:08:12,839 Boy, that's really something. 170 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,406 Everybody's totally paranoid 171 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,103 after what happened to Alex last night. 172 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,105 They're all stealing Latka's tools for weapons. 173 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,193 It's crazy. 174 00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,281 What'd you get? 175 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,240 A wrench. 176 00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:23,850 Uh, in my opinion, 177 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:26,113 the best weapon is reasonable communication. 178 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,115 The tongue is mightier than the sword. 179 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:31,466 Talk like that's a good way to get your tongue cut off. 180 00:08:31,597 --> 00:08:33,120 I heard about this guy once 181 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:34,991 who faked a heart attack while he was getting mugged. 182 00:08:35,121 --> 00:08:36,123 Scared the mugger off. 183 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,560 You know, I could do that. 184 00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:39,649 Uh, you'd have to be pretty convincing. 185 00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:41,346 Hey, I'm an actor, man. 186 00:08:41,476 --> 00:08:43,390 You know, I can convince anybody of anything, you know. 187 00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:45,958 - Yeah? - Yeah, you want to see a heart attack? 188 00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,265 Yeah. 189 00:08:47,395 --> 00:08:48,614 Okay, heart attack. 190 00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:54,315 Oh... 191 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,672 What's the matter with you? 192 00:09:02,802 --> 00:09:05,022 I'm having a heart attack. 193 00:09:05,152 --> 00:09:06,414 Well, have it somewheres else. 194 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:07,807 I could've tripped and broke my neck. 195 00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,947 See? I convinced him. 196 00:09:17,077 --> 00:09:18,122 You did! 197 00:09:18,252 --> 00:09:19,427 - Yeah. - Play some rummy? 198 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:20,690 - Yeah. Let me get my... - Hi, Alex. 199 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:21,778 Hey, Alex, how's your ear? 200 00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,693 How do you feel? 201 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:32,615 You booked absolutely nothing? 202 00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:34,442 That's not too good, Alex. 203 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,053 I quit. 204 00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,968 You're not used to criticism, are you? 205 00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:42,929 Look, Louie, I had a lot of time to think about this last night. 206 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,714 I see you had a lot of time. 207 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,804 I don't want to drive a cab anymore. 208 00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:49,066 Alex... Alex! 209 00:09:49,196 --> 00:09:50,589 Huh? 210 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,069 Come in here. 211 00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:53,853 - What do you want? - Come over here. 212 00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:58,728 What are you talking about? 213 00:09:58,858 --> 00:09:59,990 You can't quit. 214 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,556 You're my best booker. 215 00:10:01,687 --> 00:10:03,123 Louie, I almost got killed the other night. 216 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:07,606 One guy out of a city of eight million 217 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,129 tries to blow your brains out, 218 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,045 you want to make a federal case out of it. 219 00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,308 Now look, Louie, I'm serious. I quit. 220 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:24,449 Rieger, you leave, it's costing me a lot of money. 221 00:10:24,579 --> 00:10:26,451 Ah! But that doesn't matter. 222 00:10:26,581 --> 00:10:28,845 Because who cares about money 223 00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:30,977 when people's personal feelings are involved? 224 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,982 Now, how's this going to affect your fellow drivers? 225 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:40,595 Next to me, they look up to you more than anyone else in here. 226 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,641 Now, how are you going to break the news to them? 227 00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,121 I don't know. I thought I'd do something like this. 228 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,428 Hey, everybody, I'm quitting. 229 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,126 - What?! - What for? 230 00:10:49,256 --> 00:10:50,475 - What are you talking about? - What do you mean? 231 00:10:50,605 --> 00:10:52,085 Well, it's very simple. I'm scared. 232 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,826 Well, sure, you're a little scared. 233 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,175 I mean, after what happened the other night... 234 00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:56,829 No, John, I'm not just a little scared. 235 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,526 I'm a littlescared of spiders and snakes, 236 00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,267 but driving a cab terrifies me. 237 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:01,616 Well, what about what you said 238 00:11:01,747 --> 00:11:03,444 about climbing back on the horse? 239 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,969 Yeah, well, me and Old Paint didn't book a dime last night. 240 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,753 Alex, listen, I can really understand 241 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,016 what you're going through, but quitting, man, is crazy. 242 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,191 Well, picking up total strangers 243 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,540 in the middle of the night 244 00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:13,411 and driving wherever they tell you to 245 00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:14,368 isn't exactly sane. 246 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:15,935 Who does that? 247 00:11:17,284 --> 00:11:18,372 We do. 248 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,157 Oh, yeah. 249 00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:22,986 Quitting! 250 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,206 The man is quitting. 251 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,209 Well, maybe I'm using the word "man" too loosely. 252 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:34,388 You're a lily-livered, yellow-bellied, 253 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:38,479 namby-pamby, mealymouthed chicken! 254 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,093 You're right, Louie. 255 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:47,097 Can't reason with the guy. 256 00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:49,186 I still don't believe what I'm hearing. 257 00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,275 Alex, you've been driving a cab for ten years. 258 00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:53,625 What are you going to do if you quit, huh? 259 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:54,974 There are a lot of things I could do. 260 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:56,846 Yeah, like what? 261 00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,108 I used to be an upholsterer. 262 00:11:58,238 --> 00:11:59,109 I could go back to doing that. 263 00:11:59,239 --> 00:12:00,675 Oh, whoopie-doo. 264 00:12:00,806 --> 00:12:02,329 Tending bar-- I did that for a while. 265 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,984 Yeah, well, they get held up, too, you know. 266 00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,725 I was a waiter once. That's a possibility. 267 00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:08,379 Oh, exciting. 268 00:12:08,509 --> 00:12:10,381 You could make cheese. 269 00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:12,209 Why would I want to do that? 270 00:12:12,339 --> 00:12:13,601 Somebody has to. 271 00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:17,518 Yeah, good point. 272 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,433 Look, I'm not worried about finding a job. 273 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,784 Yeah, but Alex, you like driving. 274 00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:22,872 Well, who wouldn't? 275 00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:24,308 It's a great job. 276 00:12:24,438 --> 00:12:26,092 You're outside cruising in the fresh air. 277 00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:28,791 You wear what you want, you work when you want. 278 00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:30,531 It's the kind of job you can really make out 279 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,316 without killing yourself. 280 00:12:32,446 --> 00:12:34,971 Yeah, somebody else will do that for you. 281 00:12:35,101 --> 00:12:36,102 Look, I've thought about this a lot, 282 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:37,669 and I've come to the conclusion 283 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,627 my life is worth more than 55 cents a mile. 284 00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:41,499 Now, I can't handle it anymore, and that's it. 285 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:46,199 Wow, we're all really going to miss you. 286 00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,810 Yeah, it's... it's going to be 287 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:49,594 weird around here without you. 288 00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:50,856 It sure is. 289 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:56,427 Hey, come on, we'll keep in touch. 290 00:12:56,557 --> 00:12:58,733 I'll drop by, you'll drop by. 291 00:12:58,864 --> 00:13:00,039 I mean, you know how it goes. 292 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,562 I mean, a guy leaves the neighborhood, 293 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,390 you see him more than when he lived next door. 294 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:04,435 You know that. 295 00:13:04,565 --> 00:13:05,784 Yeah, sure. 296 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,046 Yeah, we'll still be tight, right? 297 00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,482 - Sure. - Right. 298 00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:09,919 Right. 299 00:13:10,049 --> 00:13:11,137 Okay. 300 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:14,837 - I, uh... - Oh... 301 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:35,858 Please! 302 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,228 I'm gonna hate myself in the morning. 303 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:02,406 - Well, I guess I'll see you... - Okay. 304 00:14:22,992 --> 00:14:24,167 Are we ready to order? 305 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,342 I think so. 306 00:14:25,472 --> 00:14:27,344 Uh, how's your escargot? 307 00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:28,911 My car goes fine, why do you ask? 308 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,784 Is there something wrong with your hearing? 309 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,220 I'm sorry, we don't serve herring, 310 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,179 but I can recommend the escargot. 311 00:14:38,964 --> 00:14:40,574 Fine, uh, just bring us those, 312 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,663 and we'll decide on our entree later. 313 00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:43,926 Very good, sir. 314 00:14:52,064 --> 00:14:55,458 Wow, Alex said he was working at a posh place, 315 00:14:55,589 --> 00:14:57,504 but I never expected anything like this. 316 00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:58,766 Good evening. 317 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:01,421 Yes, reservations for Dr. Wheeler. 318 00:15:03,423 --> 00:15:05,425 Ah, yes, Dr. Wheeler, party of four, yes? 319 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:06,557 Yes. 320 00:15:06,687 --> 00:15:07,775 Follow me... Doctor. 321 00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:08,951 I'll show you to your table. 322 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:12,911 Dr. Wheeler? 323 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,652 Well, it's easier to get reservations 324 00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:17,176 at joints like this if they think you're a doctor. 325 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,005 So, uh, how'd that heart job go this morning, Doc? 326 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,313 Madame. 327 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,794 - Bon appétit. - Merci. 328 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,231 Touché. 329 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,625 Will you stop trying to embarrass me, huh? 330 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:32,800 - What did I do? - What do you...? 331 00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:34,193 Hey, look at all the silverware 332 00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,326 they give you here. Isn't this great? 333 00:15:38,719 --> 00:15:39,677 Good evening. 334 00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,070 My name is Richard. 335 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,375 I'll be serving you this evening. 336 00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,073 Are you the waiter for this table? 337 00:15:44,203 --> 00:15:45,465 Yes. 338 00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,032 Then we'd like to sit somewhere else. 339 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,425 Excuse me. 340 00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:50,514 Um, I'm sure you're an excellent waiter. 341 00:15:50,644 --> 00:15:52,211 However, we know another waiter 342 00:15:52,342 --> 00:15:55,214 from the establishment at which he worked formerly. 343 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,651 And, um, Alex Rieger is his name. 344 00:15:57,782 --> 00:16:00,480 We would very much like for him to serve us. 345 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,700 I hope you understand. 346 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:04,919 Not entirely. 347 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,051 But I'll get him. 348 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,488 Oh, thank you so much. 349 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,187 Why am I talking like the Queen of England? 350 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:14,886 Hey, you know, I've been 351 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,801 to some pretty great places in my life, 352 00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:18,324 but this place beats them all. 353 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:19,891 There ain't even no gum 354 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,545 - stuck to this table. - Will you put it...? 355 00:16:24,591 --> 00:16:25,940 Uh, good evening. My name is Alex. 356 00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:27,551 - Hey, Alex! - Hi, Alex! 357 00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:29,422 - Hey, you look really terrific. - Do I? huh? 358 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:32,425 Oh, yeah, cummerbunds become you. 359 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,731 Here, pull up a chair. 360 00:16:33,861 --> 00:16:35,211 Oh, no, thanks, Tony, I can't. 361 00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:36,864 I have six tables to take care of. 362 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,128 I have to be kind of mobile, if you know what I mean. 363 00:16:39,258 --> 00:16:40,781 Well, we just thought we'd stop by, 364 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,392 you know, say hello, and have a bite. 365 00:16:42,522 --> 00:16:44,916 Yes, it's really great to see you people. 366 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,657 Um, would like me to get you something to drink? 367 00:16:46,787 --> 00:16:48,702 Yeah, I'd love a brew. 368 00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,921 Oh. 369 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,009 So, how's it going? 370 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,967 Very well, Tony. Very well. 371 00:16:53,098 --> 00:16:54,578 Listen, why don't I buy you a bottle of wine, huh? 372 00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:55,666 What do you say? 373 00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:57,015 - Oh... - Hey... 374 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,408 What do you like? Red? White? Rose? 375 00:16:58,538 --> 00:17:00,105 White rose would be great. 376 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,155 An excellent choice, Tony. 377 00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:07,504 Yeah, and bring some peanuts. 378 00:17:07,633 --> 00:17:08,939 Right. 379 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,421 I can't believe Alex is doing this. 380 00:17:12,552 --> 00:17:14,032 It's hard to keep a straight face. 381 00:17:14,162 --> 00:17:16,468 He seems to like it here okay, huh? 382 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,688 Yeah. 383 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,690 Wow, he must be cleaning up. 384 00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:23,997 15% of the price of a cup of coffee is a great tip. 385 00:17:24,129 --> 00:17:25,609 Hmm! 386 00:17:25,738 --> 00:17:26,827 Here we are. 387 00:17:28,045 --> 00:17:29,482 - Oh. - Hmm? 388 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,005 Whoo, that's nice, Alex. 389 00:17:31,136 --> 00:17:32,485 Would you like me to open it now? 390 00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:33,747 No, don't bother, we'll do it ourselves. 391 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,706 Well, that's okay, Tony. It's okay. 392 00:17:39,579 --> 00:17:40,928 - Alex? - Yes? 393 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:43,888 Alex, is, uh, this really awkward for you? 394 00:17:45,019 --> 00:17:46,847 What, you people coming here and my having to wait on you? 395 00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:47,979 Uh-huh. 396 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,460 Yes, it's as awkward as hell. 397 00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:52,375 Hey, would you feel better if we left? 398 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,637 Now, truth. 399 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:55,204 Oh, come on, I'm just kidding. 400 00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:57,467 Hey, come on. You're my friends. Don't be silly. 401 00:17:57,597 --> 00:18:00,209 Besides, I understand you people are going to be great tippers. 402 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,820 - Hey, uh, Alex? - Hmm? 403 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,996 I think it's ladies first. 404 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,302 Oh. 405 00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,347 Thanks for your help, Tony. 406 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:09,566 Waiter. 407 00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,831 - Mmm. - Mmm? 408 00:18:13,961 --> 00:18:14,701 It's wonderful. 409 00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:16,355 Waiter? 410 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,052 Uh, I'd like to propose a toast. 411 00:18:18,183 --> 00:18:19,445 Waiter. 412 00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:20,751 Will you keep your drawers on, lady? 413 00:18:20,881 --> 00:18:22,056 The guy's got six tables. 414 00:18:22,187 --> 00:18:23,449 He can't be everywhere at once. 415 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,892 I just wanted some water. 416 00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,285 Listen, I'll be right back. 417 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,638 You happy? 418 00:18:41,728 --> 00:18:43,121 It's okay, Alex. I took care of it. 419 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,340 Oh, thank you. 420 00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,648 Uh... all right. 421 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,346 - How are we? - We're doing good. 422 00:18:50,476 --> 00:18:52,086 Hey, let's, uh, have a toast. 423 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:53,349 Oh, yeah, okay. 424 00:18:53,479 --> 00:18:55,394 Oh, yeah, anyway... 425 00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,874 to our good friend, Alex. 426 00:18:57,004 --> 00:18:58,310 Oh, please. 427 00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,746 And one good waiter, too, if you ask me. 428 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,008 Hear, hear. 429 00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:02,532 Thank you, thank you, folks. 430 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,926 Okay, are we ready to order? 431 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,319 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 432 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,626 Um, let's see, I'm gonna st... 433 00:19:09,756 --> 00:19:11,932 I'll have the spinach salad. 434 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,325 Oh, listen, I'll split one with you. 435 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:14,544 Just put extra bacon bits 436 00:19:14,674 --> 00:19:15,762 on my half, all right? 437 00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,549 Gee, it seems such a shame not to order 438 00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:21,115 French food in a French restaurant. 439 00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:22,987 Uh, tell me... uh, 440 00:19:23,117 --> 00:19:25,729 how are the potatoes au gratin prepared? 441 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,039 With cheese. 442 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,826 Very interesting. 443 00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,131 That's what I think I'll have-- 444 00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:38,829 potatoes au gratin, with cheese. 445 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,181 What the heck. Give me the potatoes au gratin-- 446 00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:44,400 only without the cheese. 447 00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:47,968 Okay, let's see if I've got this right, now. 448 00:19:49,361 --> 00:19:51,233 That's, uh, pheasant pate, vichyssoise, 449 00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:52,930 endive salad, duck a l'orange 450 00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:55,454 chocolate mousse and espresso all for four. 451 00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,717 - Alex, what are...? - It's on me. 452 00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,676 Aw, Alex, we can't let you do that. 453 00:19:59,806 --> 00:20:01,286 Are you kidding? Listen, I make 454 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,114 almost twice as much here as I did at the garage. 455 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:05,334 Now, it's on me, and that's all there is to it. 456 00:20:05,464 --> 00:20:09,338 Well, gee, I mean, like, well... thanks. 457 00:20:09,468 --> 00:20:10,774 You're welcome. 458 00:20:10,904 --> 00:20:12,645 You know, Alex, uh... 459 00:20:12,776 --> 00:20:14,517 I guess we all came here tonight sort of hoping 460 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,301 it wasn't working out for you as a waiter. 461 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,869 And you know, maybe you'd come back to the garage. 462 00:20:18,999 --> 00:20:22,002 But I-I guess there's no chance of that, huh? 463 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,440 You know, strangely enough, I was laying awake last night 464 00:20:24,570 --> 00:20:25,745 thinking about whether or not 465 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,181 I should go back to driving a cab. 466 00:20:27,312 --> 00:20:28,879 - Really? - Great! 467 00:20:29,009 --> 00:20:30,837 Hold on. I said I was thinking about it--just thinking. 468 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,012 I mean, you know, 469 00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,144 I was trying to weigh 470 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,667 what's good about being a waiter 471 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:37,061 against what's good about being a cab driver. 472 00:20:37,191 --> 00:20:38,454 You know, I, um... 473 00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:40,499 I do make a lot more bread here. 474 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:41,587 - Oh... - Yeah. 475 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,763 But on the other hand, 476 00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,504 being a cab driver, I'm my own boss. 477 00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:47,506 I mean, nobody orders me around, you know. 478 00:20:47,637 --> 00:20:49,116 Nobody goes like this to me. 479 00:20:49,247 --> 00:20:50,640 - That's right. - Right. 480 00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:51,597 - That's important. - Self-respect, you know. 481 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,425 However, on the other hand 482 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,906 being a waiter, nobody goes like this to me. 483 00:20:56,036 --> 00:20:57,299 Oh, yeah, but that's one in a million. 484 00:20:57,429 --> 00:20:58,561 - No big deal. - One time, you know? 485 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,171 Of course, as a cab driver, I can... 486 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,868 I don't have to dress up like this. 487 00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:04,784 I mean, uh... I can wear what I want, shave when I want. 488 00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:05,959 - Yeah, and you hate shaving. - That's right. 489 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,874 Besides, you look pretty fruity... 490 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,094 Of course, the hours are really much better here, you know. 491 00:21:10,224 --> 00:21:12,662 I get to go home at midnight, and I sleep at night. 492 00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,579 But of course, you know, as a cab driver, my time is my own. 493 00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,232 I mean, I feel like working, I work. 494 00:21:18,363 --> 00:21:19,625 I don't feel like working, I don't work. 495 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,410 - That's great. - That's right. 496 00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:22,715 - Exactly why I took the job... - You know something? 497 00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:25,152 I do get great gourmet meals here free. 498 00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,503 - Yeah. - All right, so... 499 00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:29,679 But you know, the great thing about being a cab driver? 500 00:21:29,809 --> 00:21:31,245 You can be yourself. 501 00:21:31,376 --> 00:21:32,943 I mean, you don't have to smile at everybody. 502 00:21:33,073 --> 00:21:34,597 All they get is the back of my head. 503 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,425 What I do with my face is my own business. 504 00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,385 So, you see what I mean? 505 00:21:40,516 --> 00:21:42,039 I mean, both have their advantages, 506 00:21:42,169 --> 00:21:43,997 both have their disadvantages. 507 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:45,956 See what I mean? 508 00:21:46,086 --> 00:21:48,567 Yeah, but, Alex, you know, you're forgetting one thing. 509 00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:49,655 What's that? 510 00:21:49,786 --> 00:21:50,700 Friends. 511 00:21:50,830 --> 00:21:52,179 Oh. 512 00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:53,267 Yes. 513 00:21:53,398 --> 00:21:55,139 You're right, Bobby. 514 00:21:55,269 --> 00:21:57,184 I've made wonderful friends here at the restaurant. 515 00:21:57,315 --> 00:21:59,752 Joker! 516 00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:02,668 You see, so I say to myself, what's it going to be? 517 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:05,715 Waiter... 518 00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:08,544 cab driver. 519 00:22:09,675 --> 00:22:11,416 Waiter... 520 00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:12,896 cab driver... 521 00:22:13,026 --> 00:22:15,986 Alex, thank you. Everything was excellent. 522 00:22:16,116 --> 00:22:17,379 This is for you. 523 00:22:18,336 --> 00:22:20,730 Wow! A $20 tip. 524 00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:30,174 This is very depressing. 525 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,743 It's okay, Alex. We understand. 526 00:22:33,873 --> 00:22:35,484 No, because I just decided. 527 00:22:35,614 --> 00:22:36,920 I'm a cab driver. 528 00:22:44,971 --> 00:22:45,929 Cabby Alex! 529 00:22:46,059 --> 00:22:47,409 They love the appetizer. 530 00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:00,160 LOUIE Just remember, Alex. 531 00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:02,032 This is your first night back. 532 00:23:02,162 --> 00:23:05,296 Don't pick up anybody who looks suspicious. 533 00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,341 Now, listen, Louie, it's not going to work that way. 534 00:23:07,472 --> 00:23:09,126 I'm going to drive the way I always drive. 535 00:23:09,256 --> 00:23:10,997 Anybody who flags me, I'm going to pick them up. 536 00:23:11,128 --> 00:23:12,912 Anywhere they want to go, that's fine. 537 00:23:13,043 --> 00:23:14,958 I mean, I'm going to go crazy if I spend my life 538 00:23:15,088 --> 00:23:17,917 trying to figure out who's safe, who isn't safe. 539 00:23:18,048 --> 00:23:19,658 Look, it's a dangerous business. 540 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:21,181 I'll just have to live with it, okay? 541 00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:23,053 Okay. 542 00:23:30,887 --> 00:23:32,062 Sorry, off duty. 543 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,675 Aw, what the heck. 544 00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:40,940 Might as well take a chance. 545 00:24:28,292 --> 00:24:29,989 Night, Mr. Walters.