1 00:00:01,277 --> 00:00:03,366 [theme music playing] 2 00:01:07,256 --> 00:01:08,431 Hi, Tony. 3 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,085 Hi, Latka. How you doing? 4 00:01:10,215 --> 00:01:13,349 Oh... [speaking native language] 5 00:01:15,177 --> 00:01:16,308 Well, I got a little problem. 6 00:01:16,439 --> 00:01:18,136 Oh... 7 00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:20,095 [speaking native language] 8 00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,011 Well, there's this girl... 9 00:01:24,142 --> 00:01:26,144 [speaking native language] 10 00:01:27,450 --> 00:01:30,017 Well, I met her a couple of weeks ago. 11 00:01:30,148 --> 00:01:31,802 She's a cab driver, too. 12 00:01:31,932 --> 00:01:33,542 Works out of the Bronx. 13 00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:35,371 We were both in the line at Kennedy 14 00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:37,982 and we got to talking and we went for breakfast... 15 00:01:38,113 --> 00:01:40,679 [speaking native language] 16 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:43,422 Right-- one thing led to another. 17 00:01:43,553 --> 00:01:45,642 So, I've been seeing her for a couple of weeks 18 00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,035 and I'm not so sure I want to go on seeing her. 19 00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:49,080 [asks question] 20 00:01:49,211 --> 00:01:51,952 Can I just tell her? 21 00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:53,171 I mean, I think she likes me. 22 00:01:53,302 --> 00:01:54,607 I don't want to hurt the girl. 23 00:01:54,738 --> 00:02:00,004 [speaking native language] 24 00:02:02,137 --> 00:02:03,399 You're right, the longer I wait 25 00:02:03,529 --> 00:02:06,053 the tougher it's going to get, but... 26 00:02:06,184 --> 00:02:08,054 You're right. I just got to take care of it today. 27 00:02:08,185 --> 00:02:12,625 [speaking native language] 28 00:02:12,756 --> 00:02:14,801 I will, Latka, I will, all right. 29 00:02:16,238 --> 00:02:18,327 Hey, Latka, tell me something. 30 00:02:18,457 --> 00:02:20,633 How come I never understand a single word you say, 31 00:02:20,764 --> 00:02:22,157 yet I always know what you're talking about? 32 00:02:22,287 --> 00:02:23,636 Oh... 33 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:26,770 [speaking native language] 34 00:02:30,991 --> 00:02:32,471 Uh... uh... 35 00:02:32,602 --> 00:02:34,386 [speaking native language] 36 00:02:36,649 --> 00:02:38,956 Yeah, that must be it. 37 00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:45,745 Hey, Alex. 38 00:02:45,876 --> 00:02:48,008 Louie, I just had an accident in 723. 39 00:02:48,139 --> 00:02:49,836 What? Are you okay, man? 40 00:02:49,967 --> 00:02:51,186 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 41 00:02:51,316 --> 00:02:53,057 One thing at a time. 42 00:02:53,188 --> 00:02:54,972 Where's the cab? 43 00:02:55,102 --> 00:02:56,626 It's upstairs. 44 00:02:56,756 --> 00:02:59,237 Latka, go on up and check out the damage. 45 00:02:59,368 --> 00:03:00,804 I want a complete report. 46 00:03:00,934 --> 00:03:02,066 Was anybody hurt? 47 00:03:02,197 --> 00:03:03,110 No, no. It's no big deal. 48 00:03:03,241 --> 00:03:04,634 I just dented my fender 49 00:03:04,764 --> 00:03:06,113 and knocked in the side of a parked car. 50 00:03:06,244 --> 00:03:07,550 It shouldn't be more than $700-800. 51 00:03:08,768 --> 00:03:10,117 A parked car? 52 00:03:10,248 --> 00:03:11,858 [Alex] Yeah. 53 00:03:11,989 --> 00:03:16,993 Alex Rieger, 180,000 miles without an accident, 54 00:03:17,124 --> 00:03:21,520 voted "New York Cabbie of the Month" August 1977, 55 00:03:21,651 --> 00:03:23,174 just rams into a parked car? 56 00:03:23,305 --> 00:03:25,394 Louie, I just couldn't help it! 57 00:03:25,524 --> 00:03:26,873 I was going down 72nd street 58 00:03:27,004 --> 00:03:28,571 and as I was approaching Third Avenue, 59 00:03:28,701 --> 00:03:30,660 this dog runs out in front of my cab. 60 00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:31,965 Either I hit the dog 61 00:03:32,096 --> 00:03:33,183 or swerve and hit this Cordoba 62 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,359 that was parked there. 63 00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:36,405 Wait a minute. 64 00:03:36,535 --> 00:03:39,886 You mean, you had a choice of running over some mutt 65 00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:42,062 and ramming into a Cordoba? 66 00:03:42,193 --> 00:03:45,022 A Chrysler Cordoba with Corinthian leather? 67 00:03:46,502 --> 00:03:47,546 And you chose... 68 00:03:47,677 --> 00:03:49,592 You made a conscious choice 69 00:03:49,722 --> 00:03:51,158 to hit the Cordoba? 70 00:03:51,289 --> 00:03:53,509 Where are your values, Rieger? 71 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,077 Hey, Louie, why don't you just lay off him, all right? 72 00:03:57,207 --> 00:03:58,644 Yeah, he feels bad enough. 73 00:03:58,775 --> 00:04:00,864 [growls] 74 00:04:00,994 --> 00:04:02,344 Were there any witnesses? 75 00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:03,780 No. 76 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,260 What about the owner of the parked car? 77 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,000 He wasn't there. I left a note on his windshield. 78 00:04:08,045 --> 00:04:11,222 Ooh, you left a note on his windshield. 79 00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:12,919 - Yeah. - Oh, good thinking, Rieger. 80 00:04:13,050 --> 00:04:14,747 Otherwise, he might not know where to reach us 81 00:04:14,878 --> 00:04:16,618 and we couldn't pay for the damages. 82 00:04:16,748 --> 00:04:18,837 Smart, smart. 83 00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:20,231 Louie, you have to leave a note. 84 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,318 It's the law. 85 00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:23,278 Well, sure it's the law. 86 00:04:23,408 --> 00:04:25,671 It's also the law you can't spit in public. 87 00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:30,415 You have such an elegant way of making a point, you know that? 88 00:04:30,546 --> 00:04:31,808 Come on, let's get breakfast. 89 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,115 $700 damage just to avoid hitting a dog. 90 00:04:35,246 --> 00:04:36,334 I mean, if you'd have swerved 91 00:04:36,465 --> 00:04:37,857 to avoid hitting an old lady, 92 00:04:37,988 --> 00:04:39,250 I could understand. 93 00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:40,817 I'm not saying I'd agree, 94 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,384 but I could understand. 95 00:04:43,428 --> 00:04:44,734 But a dog. 96 00:04:46,388 --> 00:04:48,085 [growls] 97 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,312 You know, that was my first accident 98 00:04:57,442 --> 00:04:59,444 in almost six years of driving a cab. 99 00:04:59,575 --> 00:05:02,795 Well, look at it this way-- you're not a virgin anymore. 100 00:05:04,362 --> 00:05:06,146 Yeah, I lost my bumper. 101 00:05:09,062 --> 00:05:10,194 Hey, Tony, over here. 102 00:05:10,325 --> 00:05:11,630 - Hi, Tony. - Hi, Tony. 103 00:05:11,761 --> 00:05:13,197 Hey, I can only sit down for a minute. 104 00:05:13,328 --> 00:05:14,590 I'm meeting Denise here for breakfast. 105 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,591 [John] Hey, you want some coffee? 106 00:05:15,721 --> 00:05:16,940 Yeah, please. 107 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,943 Hey, Bobby, maybe you can help me. 108 00:05:20,073 --> 00:05:22,032 I got to tell Denise I don't want to see her anymore. 109 00:05:22,162 --> 00:05:23,642 I don't know how to do it without hurting her. 110 00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:25,122 Ooh... 111 00:05:25,252 --> 00:05:27,690 That kind of thing's never easy to do. 112 00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,344 I tell you what. This is what you do. 113 00:05:29,474 --> 00:05:31,215 You put all the blame on yourself, right? 114 00:05:31,346 --> 00:05:32,956 You tell her that you're not worthy of her, you know, 115 00:05:33,086 --> 00:05:34,261 that she can do better. 116 00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:36,176 Nah, she'd never buy that. 117 00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:38,353 I've been trying-- 118 00:05:38,483 --> 00:05:41,268 I've been trying to figure out a way to do this all week. 119 00:05:41,399 --> 00:05:42,792 Anybody got any suggestions? 120 00:05:42,922 --> 00:05:44,576 Hey, Elaine, what do guys usually do 121 00:05:44,707 --> 00:05:45,969 when they want to get rid of you? 122 00:05:46,099 --> 00:05:47,405 Thanks a lot. 123 00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:50,582 You know what I mean, Elaine. 124 00:05:50,713 --> 00:05:52,367 Tony, just be honest. 125 00:05:52,497 --> 00:05:54,412 Just tell her how you feel and then take your lumps. 126 00:05:54,543 --> 00:05:56,545 Yeah, I guess you're right. 127 00:05:56,674 --> 00:05:57,937 Hey, Alex, you ever have to break up 128 00:05:58,068 --> 00:05:59,504 with a woman you were close to? 129 00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,767 Oh, what am I saying. He was married. 130 00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:03,508 I mean, do you remember 131 00:06:03,639 --> 00:06:04,814 what you said to your wife to break up with her? 132 00:06:04,944 --> 00:06:06,468 Yeah, I remember what I said. 133 00:06:06,598 --> 00:06:09,035 I said, "Why is that man wearing my pajamas?" 134 00:06:12,212 --> 00:06:13,213 [Denise] Tony? 135 00:06:13,344 --> 00:06:14,301 Oh, hi, Denise. 136 00:06:14,432 --> 00:06:15,477 Oh, hi, baby. 137 00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:17,347 Now, let's sit over there. 138 00:06:17,479 --> 00:06:19,524 Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends? 139 00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,526 There doesn't seem to be much point. 140 00:06:23,876 --> 00:06:24,921 Okay. 141 00:06:26,313 --> 00:06:29,229 Denise, this is Elaine, Alex, Bobby and John. 142 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:30,927 - Hi. Hi. - Hi, how are you? 143 00:06:32,363 --> 00:06:33,408 [Denise clears throat] 144 00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:34,757 Well, we were just leaving. 145 00:06:36,628 --> 00:06:38,064 Have a nice breakfast. 146 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:45,724 It was nice knowing you. 147 00:06:49,728 --> 00:06:50,947 You want some? 148 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,078 No, thanks. 149 00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:53,340 Sure? 150 00:06:54,385 --> 00:06:55,995 Help you stay awake, 151 00:06:56,126 --> 00:06:58,911 take a few pounds off or do the 100 in 9.7. 152 00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:00,652 You know I don't do that kind of junk. 153 00:07:01,958 --> 00:07:03,002 So how you doing, honey? 154 00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:04,395 I'm okay. 155 00:07:04,526 --> 00:07:06,484 Denise, I got something to say. 156 00:07:09,052 --> 00:07:10,923 I wish there was a... 157 00:07:11,054 --> 00:07:12,795 a smarter way to lead up to this. 158 00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:16,059 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 159 00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:22,847 Well... 160 00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:27,462 There might have been some smarter ways 161 00:07:27,592 --> 00:07:29,376 of leading up to that, Tony. 162 00:07:30,508 --> 00:07:32,989 I mean, some guys would have tried 163 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,121 to soften me up with a lot of flattery. 164 00:07:35,252 --> 00:07:36,427 Or they might have made up 165 00:07:36,558 --> 00:07:38,081 some long, involved story. 166 00:07:40,299 --> 00:07:41,519 Not you. 167 00:07:43,434 --> 00:07:46,785 You just came right out with it. 168 00:07:48,787 --> 00:07:50,572 I can't say you weren't straight with me. 169 00:07:52,008 --> 00:07:54,010 I guess that's what I've always liked about you. 170 00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:57,753 Thanks. 171 00:07:57,883 --> 00:08:00,059 That's also why I'm never gonna let you go. 172 00:08:05,804 --> 00:08:07,502 [Latka singing in native language] 173 00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:09,373 ♪ ...taxi, honey... ♪ 174 00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:12,463 [continues singing in native language] 175 00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:20,689 Hey, Rieger. 176 00:08:22,342 --> 00:08:23,692 You got to help me so I can fill out 177 00:08:23,822 --> 00:08:25,084 this property damage report. 178 00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:26,695 Oh, not the box again, Louie. 179 00:08:26,825 --> 00:08:28,610 Come on over here. 180 00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,089 What's he doing? 181 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,569 They're going to reenact the accident. 182 00:08:31,700 --> 00:08:34,093 It's company policy-- it's fun. 183 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:38,271 Hold the box here. 184 00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:40,055 Okay Latka watch? 185 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,535 Here, sit down. 186 00:08:42,537 --> 00:08:44,016 All right. 187 00:08:44,146 --> 00:08:45,844 Now, here's 72nd Street 188 00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:47,933 where it intersects with Third Avenue. 189 00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:49,369 That's right. 190 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,241 Now, we got a stoplight here. 191 00:08:51,371 --> 00:08:52,372 Right. 192 00:08:52,503 --> 00:08:53,722 All right. 193 00:08:54,853 --> 00:08:57,203 Okay, what color was the light? 194 00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:58,683 The light was green. 195 00:08:59,728 --> 00:09:01,686 - [stoplight dings] - All right. 196 00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:02,818 It's green. 197 00:09:02,948 --> 00:09:04,515 All right. 198 00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,952 Now, you were traveling west on 72nd street? 199 00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:08,563 Right. 200 00:09:08,693 --> 00:09:10,782 Now, were there people in the streets? 201 00:09:10,913 --> 00:09:12,915 Yeah, there were a few, it was early in the morning. 202 00:09:13,045 --> 00:09:15,439 Now, where'd the dog come from? 203 00:09:15,570 --> 00:09:17,180 About over here. 204 00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:19,356 All right. 205 00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:21,837 I don't have a dog. 206 00:09:21,967 --> 00:09:23,273 What's that over there? 207 00:09:23,403 --> 00:09:25,014 It's not a dog. 208 00:09:26,668 --> 00:09:28,539 It's a gun, it's a gun. 209 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,236 Here, here. 210 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,108 No cockroaches, Latka. 211 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,676 Get that cockroach out of there. 212 00:09:38,157 --> 00:09:40,377 Sorry to bother you. 213 00:09:43,554 --> 00:09:45,208 All right, I got a baby. 214 00:09:45,338 --> 00:09:47,427 We'll use the baby for the dog. 215 00:09:47,558 --> 00:09:49,255 Okay. 216 00:09:49,386 --> 00:09:51,823 Okay. I'm traveling in this direction 217 00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:53,216 at about 30 miles an hour. 218 00:09:53,346 --> 00:09:54,696 I notice the light is green, 219 00:09:54,826 --> 00:09:56,567 so I start to speed up so I can make it 220 00:09:56,698 --> 00:09:58,569 and just then, all of a sudden, 221 00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,615 this dog runs out in the middle of the road, 222 00:10:00,745 --> 00:10:04,488 so I swerve to my right and I hit this parked car right here. 223 00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:06,838 My right fender hits the door on the driver's side. 224 00:10:06,969 --> 00:10:11,538 I carom off and I come to a stop about there. 225 00:10:13,105 --> 00:10:15,194 And the dog runs off, I don't know, somewhere. 226 00:10:15,325 --> 00:10:17,457 And that was it. 227 00:10:17,588 --> 00:10:19,068 Phew! 228 00:10:22,506 --> 00:10:24,595 Thank you very much. 229 00:10:24,726 --> 00:10:25,596 Hey, Tony. 230 00:10:25,727 --> 00:10:27,076 Hi, everybody. 231 00:10:27,206 --> 00:10:28,207 [Bobby] How'd it go with Denise this morning? 232 00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:29,861 [John] Yeah, how'd it go? 233 00:10:29,992 --> 00:10:31,558 Well, it didn't go exactly like I thought it would. 234 00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:33,038 Well, you told her 235 00:10:33,169 --> 00:10:34,387 you wanted to break up with her, didn't you? 236 00:10:34,518 --> 00:10:35,475 Yeah, I told her. Just like you said-- 237 00:10:35,606 --> 00:10:37,042 straight and honest. 238 00:10:37,173 --> 00:10:39,262 But she said she wasn't going to let me go. 239 00:10:39,392 --> 00:10:40,829 What does that mean? She wasn't going to let you go? 240 00:10:40,959 --> 00:10:42,787 She didn't believe me. 241 00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:45,137 She kept telling me we were really good for each other. 242 00:10:45,268 --> 00:10:47,270 and that whatever I was feeling now, I'd get over. 243 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,533 I kept telling her, "I'm not going to get over it." 244 00:10:49,664 --> 00:10:51,666 But I couldn't convince her. 245 00:10:51,796 --> 00:10:53,668 She kept asking me to come back to her room with her. 246 00:10:53,798 --> 00:10:56,496 Oh. But you didn't go, did you? 247 00:10:56,627 --> 00:10:58,194 Yeah, I mean, it was the toughest scene 248 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,499 I've ever been through. 249 00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:00,936 Right there in the restaurant, 250 00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:02,546 she started kissing me on the neck, 251 00:11:02,677 --> 00:11:05,549 stuff like that-- nibbling on my fingers. 252 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,159 It wasn't easy to say no. 253 00:11:07,290 --> 00:11:08,552 Did you ever see The Wizard of Oz? 254 00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:10,293 - Yeah. - What's that got to do with it? 255 00:11:10,423 --> 00:11:12,948 Well, remember the Wicked Witch of the West? 256 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,994 The one with the green face 257 00:11:16,125 --> 00:11:18,605 and the big nose and that ugly wart on her chin? 258 00:11:18,736 --> 00:11:19,781 Yeah. 259 00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:21,826 Well, I just closed my eyes 260 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:24,220 and tried to pretend it was her doing all that stuff to me. 261 00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:28,267 Pretended it was that ugly witch sucking my fingers. 262 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,185 I pretended it was that ugly witch blowing in my ear. 263 00:11:33,316 --> 00:11:36,232 And I pretended it was that ugly witch with her hand on my knee. 264 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:37,320 And then... 265 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:39,104 And then what? 266 00:11:39,235 --> 00:11:41,846 I got to thinking-- who cares how ugly the witch is? 267 00:11:47,809 --> 00:11:49,462 Tony, you mean you went with her? 268 00:11:49,593 --> 00:11:51,377 No, Elaine, I didn't. 269 00:11:51,508 --> 00:11:54,337 I realized, you know, if I did, I'd never end this relationship. 270 00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,079 From somewhere, I don't know where, 271 00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:58,689 but I got the strength to say no. 272 00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,038 What did Denise do? 273 00:12:00,169 --> 00:12:01,561 Well, I really must have surprised her. 274 00:12:01,692 --> 00:12:03,433 She didn't think I had it in me either. 275 00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:05,609 She just got up and left the restaurant. 276 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,437 I guess she finally realized 277 00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:09,918 that when I said it was over, I meant it was over. 278 00:12:10,048 --> 00:12:13,138 Hey, Tony, you did real good, man. 279 00:12:13,269 --> 00:12:15,140 - Yeah, I'll say. - Right. It was the only way. 280 00:12:15,271 --> 00:12:16,881 [Tony] And I'll tell you something, it wasn't easy. 281 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:20,276 All right, all right, we got a lot of cabs here. 282 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,670 Hey, Nardo, you got 708. 283 00:12:23,801 --> 00:12:25,585 Wheeler, 204. 284 00:12:25,716 --> 00:12:26,717 All right. 285 00:12:26,848 --> 00:12:29,154 [Louie] Rieger, 509. 286 00:12:30,242 --> 00:12:33,202 Burns, 311, Burns. 287 00:12:33,332 --> 00:12:34,943 Banta, 682. 288 00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:36,248 All right. 289 00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:38,337 Hey, Latka, get 246 ready. 290 00:12:38,468 --> 00:12:40,165 I'm giving it to the new driver. 291 00:12:40,296 --> 00:12:41,384 What new driver? 292 00:12:41,514 --> 00:12:42,733 That one. 293 00:12:42,864 --> 00:12:44,126 Hi, Tony. 294 00:12:44,256 --> 00:12:48,173 Geela, you got 916. 295 00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:51,916 Rutherford, you got 719. 296 00:13:03,928 --> 00:13:04,929 Here you go, Louie. 297 00:13:08,803 --> 00:13:11,153 You booked $19 today? 298 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,285 A one and a nine? 299 00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:16,158 Louie, leave me alone, man. I got enough problems. 300 00:13:16,288 --> 00:13:19,335 Listen, Banta, I can make life really rough for you 301 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,600 if I wanted to, but you're Italian and I'm Italian. 302 00:13:24,688 --> 00:13:25,907 So I'm going to tell you 303 00:13:26,037 --> 00:13:28,344 just like I'd tell my own brother-- 304 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,389 you better smarten up, meatball. 305 00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:33,871 Hi, honey. 306 00:13:34,002 --> 00:13:35,264 Yeah, hi. 307 00:13:36,308 --> 00:13:37,527 Here you go, Louie. 308 00:13:40,356 --> 00:13:42,706 $217? 309 00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:45,055 Hey, you losers hear this? 310 00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:50,322 This sweet young bimbo just booked $217. 311 00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:53,195 A new Sunshine Cab company record. 312 00:13:54,413 --> 00:13:56,198 Congratulations, Denise. 313 00:13:56,328 --> 00:13:59,549 I'd shake your hand, but I'm afraid I'd get you hot. 314 00:14:01,464 --> 00:14:02,857 Thanks, Louie. 315 00:14:04,032 --> 00:14:05,381 What's that you're taking? 316 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,252 Just a couple of bennies and a black beauty. 317 00:14:07,383 --> 00:14:08,732 What? 318 00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:10,516 You know, uppers. 319 00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:15,739 What are you doing? 320 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:17,306 I know about those things. 321 00:14:17,436 --> 00:14:19,177 They can be hell on you. 322 00:14:19,308 --> 00:14:20,222 They can ruin your health, 323 00:14:20,352 --> 00:14:21,571 destroy your body. 324 00:14:21,701 --> 00:14:23,051 Why are you taking them? 325 00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,574 It's how I can work 18 hours straight 326 00:14:24,704 --> 00:14:25,880 and book so much. 327 00:14:26,968 --> 00:14:28,970 You got enough I can give the other guys? 328 00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:32,712 [Elaine] I'll take three. 329 00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:33,975 - [Bobby] All right. - Three. 330 00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:35,541 And then I'll take three. 331 00:14:35,672 --> 00:14:36,803 Three. 332 00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:38,457 - I'll take three. - Three. 333 00:14:38,588 --> 00:14:39,981 I got one. 334 00:14:40,111 --> 00:14:41,330 [Elaine] Okay, I open a quarter. 335 00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,114 I raise you a quarter. 336 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,987 I raise you 50 cents. 337 00:14:46,117 --> 00:14:47,858 All right by me, I see you. 338 00:14:47,989 --> 00:14:48,946 I see you. 339 00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:50,078 I see you. 340 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,297 I see you. 341 00:14:52,428 --> 00:14:54,169 Come on, Denise, give me a break. 342 00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:59,261 That's lousy, the way she keeps bugging him. 343 00:14:59,391 --> 00:15:00,566 [John] Okay, my deal. 344 00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:01,698 [Louie] Hey, Rieger. 345 00:15:01,828 --> 00:15:03,091 - What? - Move it, 346 00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,875 the boss is upstairs waiting for you. 347 00:15:05,006 --> 00:15:06,268 He wants to talk to you about the accident. 348 00:15:06,398 --> 00:15:08,052 Yeah, I figured he would. 349 00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:09,227 Anybody got an aspirin? 350 00:15:09,358 --> 00:15:10,228 I got a miserable headache. 351 00:15:10,359 --> 00:15:11,577 Baby aspirin. 352 00:15:11,708 --> 00:15:13,014 Yeah, take one of these. 353 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:17,888 That doesn't look like aspirin. 354 00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:19,672 Well, it works just the same. 355 00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:21,239 I take them all the time when I get a headache. 356 00:15:23,894 --> 00:15:24,721 You better take another one. 357 00:15:24,851 --> 00:15:26,418 Thanks-- okay. 358 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,727 How's your headache? 359 00:15:30,857 --> 00:15:32,163 Hey, I just took the pills two seconds ago. 360 00:15:32,294 --> 00:15:33,773 You can't expect... 361 00:15:37,168 --> 00:15:38,256 What headache? 362 00:15:38,387 --> 00:15:39,475 What kind of pills are those? 363 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,824 They're called black beauties. 364 00:15:40,955 --> 00:15:41,956 Oh, great, I'll have to remember that 365 00:15:42,086 --> 00:15:43,653 when I go to the drugstore. 366 00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:45,002 Hey, wait a minute, that's amphetamines, isn't it? 367 00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:46,482 - Yeah. - I read about those. 368 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,874 Those are poison. You can kill somebody. 369 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:49,267 You just gave me two of those? 370 00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:50,965 Alex, the boss is waiting. 371 00:15:51,095 --> 00:15:52,705 Yeah, Louie, I'm going. I'm going. 372 00:15:52,836 --> 00:15:54,533 You know, I never took anything like that before. 373 00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:57,797 Oh, I thought it would really be strong, 374 00:15:57,928 --> 00:15:59,799 but I don't feel anything. 375 00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:02,063 I guess I must have a pretty tough system. 376 00:16:02,193 --> 00:16:03,325 I thought it would really hit me, 377 00:16:03,455 --> 00:16:04,804 but I don't seem to feel anything. 378 00:16:04,935 --> 00:16:06,110 I don't feel any different then I ever felt. 379 00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:08,243 I seem to keep talking, you know? 380 00:16:08,373 --> 00:16:10,071 But I've talked before and even if I am 381 00:16:10,201 --> 00:16:11,420 talking more now than I usually do, 382 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:12,725 I could stop anytime I want. 383 00:16:12,856 --> 00:16:14,292 There, I just stopped. 384 00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:16,381 I just stopped again. 385 00:16:16,512 --> 00:16:18,035 Hi, Tony. 386 00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,950 Hi, Bobby! Hi, Elaine! Hi, John! Hi, Louie! 387 00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:21,082 You got my cab? 388 00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:22,431 You just came in. 389 00:16:22,561 --> 00:16:23,519 You're going up to see the boss. 390 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,260 Right-- bye, Louie. 391 00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:27,914 Bye, John! Bye, Elaine! Bye, Bobby! Bye, Tony! 392 00:16:28,045 --> 00:16:31,744 ♪ Bye-bye, love, bye-bye, happiness ♪ 393 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,616 ♪ Hello, loneliness ♪ 394 00:16:33,746 --> 00:16:36,010 ♪ I think I'm going to die. ♪ 395 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:43,887 Denise, why you giving him that stuff? 396 00:16:44,018 --> 00:16:45,323 Bad enough you got to take it. 397 00:16:45,454 --> 00:16:47,238 You got to make everybody crazy? 398 00:16:47,369 --> 00:16:48,979 Is that what it is? 399 00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:50,459 Is that what's wrong between us, Tony? 400 00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:51,895 You don't like me taking pills? 401 00:16:52,026 --> 00:16:53,723 Why didn't you say so? 402 00:16:53,853 --> 00:16:56,247 Man, I'll never take another pill as long as I live. 403 00:16:56,378 --> 00:16:57,901 There. 404 00:16:59,903 --> 00:17:01,818 Hey, what are you guys, crazy? 405 00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:04,473 Denise, it ain't just the pills. 406 00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:07,041 It's us. 407 00:17:07,171 --> 00:17:08,781 You and me. 408 00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:10,131 Got to end. 409 00:17:11,175 --> 00:17:12,611 It will never end, Tony. 410 00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:15,700 Okay. 411 00:17:15,832 --> 00:17:19,575 Hey, Louie, you got to fire Denise. 412 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:20,967 What are you, crazy? 413 00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:22,316 My best booker? 414 00:17:22,447 --> 00:17:23,318 Fire her? 415 00:17:23,448 --> 00:17:24,754 I want to breed her. 416 00:17:26,711 --> 00:17:30,455 Hey, Louie, either you fire Denise or I quit. 417 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,852 Now, let me think about that. 418 00:17:35,982 --> 00:17:37,071 I thought about it. 419 00:17:37,201 --> 00:17:38,507 It was nice working with you. 420 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,205 Hey, wait a minute, Louie. 421 00:17:41,336 --> 00:17:43,555 You know that chick only took this job 422 00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:45,818 so she could bug Tony, man. I mean this whole thing stinks. 423 00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:46,863 I ain't been happy coming to work 424 00:17:46,993 --> 00:17:48,734 since she's been here. 425 00:17:48,865 --> 00:17:51,955 Now, if you keep her and let him go, I'm going to quit, too. 426 00:17:52,086 --> 00:17:53,652 That I don't even have to think about. 427 00:17:53,783 --> 00:17:55,741 Bye-bye, Bobby. 428 00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:57,569 And you can say good-bye to me, too, Louie. 429 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,049 [John] Yeah, and me, too. 430 00:17:59,180 --> 00:18:01,095 [speaking native language] 431 00:18:02,487 --> 00:18:03,575 - Yeah. - You see? 432 00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:04,968 So if you let Tony go 433 00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:06,317 - the four of us quit. - Yeah. 434 00:18:06,448 --> 00:18:07,927 So let it be written, 435 00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:09,277 so let it be done. 436 00:18:09,407 --> 00:18:10,408 Why you quitting? 437 00:18:11,975 --> 00:18:17,981 [speaking native language] 438 00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:25,293 Sounds good enough for me. 439 00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:27,077 If they quit, we quit, too. 440 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:29,035 [all] Yeah. 441 00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:33,475 [all chanting in Latka's native language] 442 00:18:35,303 --> 00:18:37,609 Get back, get back, all of you! 443 00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:38,784 Get back! 444 00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:42,397 Now, listen to me and listen to me good. 445 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,443 I'm drawing a line here. 446 00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:50,927 Now, you see that line? You see it? 447 00:18:51,057 --> 00:18:52,755 Look at it, look at it. 448 00:18:52,885 --> 00:18:57,325 Because if just one of youse steps one foot across that line, 449 00:18:57,455 --> 00:18:58,761 I'll have to fire her. 450 00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:00,284 I'm going to fire her. 451 00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:02,591 Hey, you pill popper, you're fired. 452 00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:04,245 Get out of here. 453 00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:07,030 [all cheer] 454 00:19:11,513 --> 00:19:13,036 All right. 455 00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:14,777 All right, Tony. 456 00:19:14,907 --> 00:19:16,213 Maybe I can't work with you... 457 00:19:17,388 --> 00:19:19,999 But you have to go home sometimes... 458 00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:22,698 and when you do, you're going to find me there. 459 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,221 And if you go out to eat, 460 00:19:24,352 --> 00:19:25,527 you're going to find me there, too. 461 00:19:25,657 --> 00:19:26,963 And if you go to the movies 462 00:19:27,093 --> 00:19:28,443 or you go bowling, just look around, 463 00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:30,314 because, baby, I'm not giving you up. 464 00:19:32,577 --> 00:19:34,884 Hey, Elaine, what am I going to do? 465 00:19:35,014 --> 00:19:36,581 I can't handle this. 466 00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:39,367 Tony, if you want to get rid of her, 467 00:19:39,497 --> 00:19:40,803 you're gonna have to be mean. 468 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,415 You're going to--you're going to have to hurt her. 469 00:19:44,546 --> 00:19:46,504 I don't know if I can. 470 00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:48,506 I was raised by my mother and three older sisters. 471 00:19:48,637 --> 00:19:50,204 I was always taught to respect women. 472 00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:52,031 Well, she doesn't give a damn 473 00:19:52,162 --> 00:19:53,903 about what she's putting you through. 474 00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:56,079 Tony, come on. 475 00:19:56,210 --> 00:19:57,907 Just get as tough as she is. 476 00:19:58,037 --> 00:19:59,517 I mean, you got to stop worrying about her feelings 477 00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:01,345 and you got to start taking care of yourself. 478 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:03,304 You're right. 479 00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:04,435 Yeah. 480 00:20:06,524 --> 00:20:08,613 Denise, could I have a word with you? 481 00:20:08,744 --> 00:20:10,093 Sure. 482 00:20:11,442 --> 00:20:13,923 Tony, I know what it is. 483 00:20:14,053 --> 00:20:15,881 You want to apologize and that's... 484 00:20:16,012 --> 00:20:18,144 I don't want to apologize, Denise. 485 00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:19,581 You don't? 486 00:20:22,845 --> 00:20:24,150 No, I don't. 487 00:20:24,281 --> 00:20:26,501 Tony, listen, I understand. 488 00:20:26,631 --> 00:20:27,850 Shut up! 489 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,419 Just shut up and listen. 490 00:20:32,985 --> 00:20:34,291 You ain't seeing me anymore 491 00:20:34,422 --> 00:20:35,771 and I ain't seeing you anymore. 492 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,077 We ain't seeing each other anymore. 493 00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,906 Psychologists, they got a term for people like you. 494 00:20:41,037 --> 00:20:42,430 What is it? Uh... 495 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,215 Oh, yeah-- you got a screw loose. 496 00:20:46,608 --> 00:20:48,131 You ever come around here again, 497 00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:49,872 I'm going to hand you your head. 498 00:20:50,002 --> 00:20:52,048 I'm sick and tired of your face. 499 00:20:52,178 --> 00:20:53,919 Now, why don't you just take a walk? 500 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:55,094 Why don't you get out? 501 00:20:55,225 --> 00:20:56,879 You heard me, out! 502 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,404 I love you when you're like this. 503 00:21:04,974 --> 00:21:07,368 Listen, Denise. 504 00:21:07,498 --> 00:21:09,065 Tony doesn't want to tell you 505 00:21:09,195 --> 00:21:11,154 the real reason why he can't see you anymore, 506 00:21:11,285 --> 00:21:12,851 because he's afraid 507 00:21:12,982 --> 00:21:15,245 the truth is going to hurt you real bad. 508 00:21:15,376 --> 00:21:16,507 The truth? 509 00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:18,857 Yeah, the truth 510 00:21:18,988 --> 00:21:20,468 that he's in love with someone else. 511 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:23,993 Who? 512 00:21:28,650 --> 00:21:29,651 Him. 513 00:21:37,136 --> 00:21:38,355 What? 514 00:21:38,486 --> 00:21:40,096 Louie, you're a homosexual? 515 00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:53,327 [growling] 516 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:03,032 I prefer to think of it as an alternative lifestyle. 517 00:22:19,483 --> 00:22:21,572 Did you really think that I'd believe this? 518 00:22:31,277 --> 00:22:32,583 I guess you really do want to get rid of me. 519 00:22:34,672 --> 00:22:36,544 I never thought you'd stoop so low 520 00:22:36,674 --> 00:22:38,197 as to make up a lie like this. 521 00:22:39,242 --> 00:22:41,810 Hey, Denise, you think I'm stooping low now? 522 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,638 To get rid of you, I'd marry him. 523 00:22:46,945 --> 00:22:48,599 You make me sick. 524 00:22:48,730 --> 00:22:49,905 Good-bye. 525 00:22:52,908 --> 00:22:54,475 Elaine. 526 00:22:54,605 --> 00:22:56,085 - It worked. - Hey, Louie, we did it, Louie. 527 00:22:56,215 --> 00:22:57,434 All right. 528 00:22:58,522 --> 00:23:01,177 What do you mean, stoop so low? 529 00:23:10,316 --> 00:23:12,188 Boy, you know that MacKenzie is one great boss. 530 00:23:12,318 --> 00:23:13,972 I mean, I really thought he was going to blast me, 531 00:23:14,103 --> 00:23:15,452 but he hardly said two words to me the whole time. 532 00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:16,845 I was the one who did all the talking. 533 00:23:16,975 --> 00:23:18,281 I just explained the accident to him, 534 00:23:18,412 --> 00:23:20,065 reminded him of my good driving record, 535 00:23:20,196 --> 00:23:21,937 told him why Pittsburgh was going to win the Super Bowl 536 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:23,025 and how I'd like to see that situation 537 00:23:23,155 --> 00:23:24,809 in the Middle East cleared up, 538 00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:26,115 and he just sat there the whole time with his mouth open. 539 00:23:26,245 --> 00:23:27,725 So how's everybody here? 540 00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:29,597 Am I talking too loud? No, I don't think I am. 541 00:23:29,727 --> 00:23:31,207 Hey, listen, you know Pittsburgh is gonna win. 542 00:23:31,337 --> 00:23:32,730 That defense is just too strong. 543 00:23:32,861 --> 00:23:34,428 Look at that backfield-- Harris, Blier, 544 00:23:34,558 --> 00:23:36,952 Blier's the most underrated halfback in the NFL. 545 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:39,781 Nobody blocks Blier. He runs, he blocks. 546 00:23:39,911 --> 00:23:41,260 He's got a pair of great hands. 547 00:23:41,391 --> 00:23:42,784 Talking about hands, what about Swann? 548 00:23:42,914 --> 00:23:44,394 You can't stop him. 549 00:23:44,525 --> 00:23:47,049 When Bradshaw's off, Swann gets the ball. 550 00:23:47,179 --> 00:23:48,616 And look at that defensive line. 551 00:23:48,746 --> 00:23:50,052 Do you realize that they've only allowed 552 00:23:50,182 --> 00:23:51,880 an average of three yards per carry. 553 00:23:52,968 --> 00:23:55,579 And what about those linebackers? 554 00:23:55,710 --> 00:23:57,059 You can't get through them. 555 00:23:57,189 --> 00:23:58,321 You couldn't drive a truck through them. 556 00:23:58,452 --> 00:24:00,105 I mean, you can't get there. 557 00:24:00,236 --> 00:24:02,281 Boy, am I going to be sick tomorrow. 558 00:24:03,631 --> 00:24:06,416 [theme music playing] 559 00:24:30,658 --> 00:24:32,398 [woman] Night, Mr. Walters. 560 00:24:32,529 --> 00:24:33,574 [Walters grunts]