1 00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:16,565 ♪♪ 2 00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:27,510 ♪♪ 3 00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:05,080 - Yo! Cab! 4 00:01:06,415 --> 00:01:07,550 Taxi! 5 00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:36,645 - Where to? 6 00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:38,080 - 51st street, please. 7 00:01:38,113 --> 00:01:39,948 - Oh, oh, right. 8 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,955 - You don't mind the dog being in the cab, do you? 9 00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:48,491 - No. 10 00:01:48,524 --> 00:01:49,992 He doesn't mind me being in it, does he? 11 00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:51,727 Don't worry about him. 12 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,462 He's very well trained. 13 00:01:53,496 --> 00:01:54,697 He just got out of obedience school. 14 00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:56,199 I take him everywhere with me. 15 00:01:56,232 --> 00:01:58,201 I just won him in a poker game a few weeks back. 16 00:01:58,234 --> 00:01:59,368 It's a beautiful dog, isn't he? 17 00:01:59,402 --> 00:02:01,437 - Yeah, he sure is beautiful. 18 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:03,339 - Name is Hamlet. 19 00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:05,708 You can probably guess why I call him Hamlet. 20 00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:07,743 - Grew up in a small town? 21 00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:12,080 - No, because he's a Great Dane. 22 00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:15,184 You know, Hamlet, the Dane in the play. 23 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,786 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 24 00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:19,788 - Very intelligent dog too. 25 00:02:19,822 --> 00:02:21,257 Watch, I'll show you. 26 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,192 Speak, Hamlet. Speak. 27 00:02:26,695 --> 00:02:28,497 Come on, Hamlet, speak. 28 00:02:29,332 --> 00:02:31,200 - Come on, Hamlet, speak. 29 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,270 "O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!" 30 00:02:36,038 --> 00:02:39,475 - Come on, Hamlet, speak, you stupid dog. 31 00:02:39,508 --> 00:02:42,511 Come on, speak! - That's okay. 32 00:02:42,545 --> 00:02:46,048 If he thinks of something to say later on, he can call me. 33 00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:50,486 Uh, it's a buck 65. 34 00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:52,288 - There you go. 35 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,590 Ah, that's all right. - Thank you. 36 00:02:54,623 --> 00:02:56,725 - You know, he really is a very smart dog. 37 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,394 I don't know what's wrong with him today. 38 00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:00,396 Hold out your hand. He'll give you his paw. 39 00:03:00,429 --> 00:03:02,097 - Uh, no, I don't think I better. 40 00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,566 - No, no, no. Come on, hold out your hand. 41 00:03:03,599 --> 00:03:04,567 He'll give you his paw. 42 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,502 Give him your paw, Ham. 43 00:03:06,535 --> 00:03:08,437 I said paw, not floor. 44 00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:10,773 - Ah, that's okay. - No, it isn't okay. 45 00:03:10,806 --> 00:03:12,375 Get up from there, you stupid dog. 46 00:03:12,408 --> 00:03:13,876 Come on, get up from there! 47 00:03:13,909 --> 00:03:15,544 - Hey, mister, what are you doing? 48 00:03:15,578 --> 00:03:17,112 - Get up from there. Well, he's got to learn. 49 00:03:17,145 --> 00:03:18,614 Get up from there! 50 00:03:18,647 --> 00:03:20,148 - Hey, don't hit the dog. 51 00:03:20,182 --> 00:03:21,384 - It's my dog. I'll hit him if I want to. 52 00:03:21,417 --> 00:03:23,252 Get up from there, you stupid dog. 53 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,887 - Come on, it's my cab. Don't hit the dog in my cab. 54 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,689 Hey, mister, you hear what I said? 55 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:28,291 - When I tell you to get up, get up from there. 56 00:03:28,324 --> 00:03:29,858 - Hey, mister, will you cut that out? 57 00:03:29,892 --> 00:03:31,993 Hey, give me that. Give me that. 58 00:03:32,027 --> 00:03:33,796 Get out of my cab. Go on. Get out of here. 59 00:03:33,829 --> 00:03:35,998 - All right. Come on, Hamlet. 60 00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:37,866 Hamlet, come out here! 61 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:41,969 Come! Hey, you got my dog in there! 62 00:04:04,493 --> 00:04:05,994 - Hi. It's Bobby Wheeler. 63 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,364 Any messages? 64 00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:11,367 Well, a-are you sure? 65 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:16,138 Yeah, okay, well, just check again, all right? 66 00:04:16,171 --> 00:04:18,140 O-okay. Now, listen. I'm down at the garage. 67 00:04:18,173 --> 00:04:20,575 If anybody calls, you give them the number. 68 00:04:20,609 --> 00:04:21,743 All right. 69 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,352 - Hey, what are you doing, man? 70 00:04:29,385 --> 00:04:30,953 - Let me go, Tony. I got to hit something. 71 00:04:30,986 --> 00:04:32,455 - Hey, what are you crazy? 72 00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:33,989 I can see you're upset, but, uh, don't hit that. 73 00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:35,823 You could really hurt yourself. 74 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,126 - Yeah, well, I don't care, man, 'cause I got to hit something. 75 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,528 All right, all right. Here. 76 00:04:39,562 --> 00:04:41,864 Hit me here, in the stomach. Go ahead. 77 00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:43,566 - I can't do that. 78 00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:44,967 - Come on, don't worry about it. I'm hard as a rock. 79 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,502 I do 200 sit-ups a day. 80 00:04:46,535 --> 00:04:48,270 I go to the gym. Guys hit me all the time. 81 00:04:48,303 --> 00:04:50,138 It's part of my training. Go ahead. Go ahead. 82 00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,440 - You're sure now, right? 83 00:04:51,474 --> 00:04:55,043 - Go ahead, hard as you can. Go ahead. 84 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,845 - Oh, Tony! I'm sorry. 85 00:04:56,879 --> 00:05:01,083 Are you okay? - I'm fine. I'm fine. 86 00:05:01,116 --> 00:05:03,986 - Hey, listen, if it makes you feel any better, I feel great. 87 00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:06,288 - Great. Anytime I can help. 88 00:05:06,321 --> 00:05:08,857 - I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, Tony. 89 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,292 Hey, hey, John? 90 00:05:10,325 --> 00:05:11,527 John, don't use that phone, okay? 91 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,230 John, I said don't use that phone! 92 00:05:21,236 --> 00:05:26,041 - Hey, Bob, is it all right if John uses the toilet? 93 00:05:26,074 --> 00:05:28,210 - Just lay off, Louie, okay? 94 00:05:28,243 --> 00:05:30,312 I got a lot of things on my mind. 95 00:05:30,345 --> 00:05:32,681 - Hi, boys. - Hi, Alex. 96 00:05:32,715 --> 00:05:34,417 - Hi. 97 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:36,118 - Hey, listen, um, could you do me a favor? 98 00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:37,820 I'm expecting a call any minute, you know. 99 00:05:37,853 --> 00:05:39,422 And could you wait with me? 100 00:05:39,455 --> 00:05:41,323 'Cause I don't want to be alone when I get it. 101 00:05:41,356 --> 00:05:43,125 - Yeah, sure. What kind of phone call? 102 00:05:43,158 --> 00:05:44,092 - Well, you see... 103 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,461 - Alex. Yo. 104 00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:48,597 I find--I find in your cab. 105 00:05:48,631 --> 00:05:50,566 - Yeah, I know. 106 00:05:50,599 --> 00:05:52,000 - Oh, my gosh. Look at him. 107 00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:53,502 - Wow. Where'd you find him? 108 00:05:53,536 --> 00:05:55,037 - I took him away from some guy in my cab. 109 00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:56,405 He was whipping him with his leash. 110 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,940 - Hey, you shouldn't do that, boy. 111 00:05:57,972 --> 00:05:59,073 You could hurt somebody. 112 00:05:59,107 --> 00:06:01,544 - Not him. - Hey, Alex... 113 00:06:01,577 --> 00:06:04,246 - He's so gorgeous. What's his name? 114 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:05,781 - Alex, you see, this phone call... 115 00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:07,750 - His name is Hamlet. - Are you going to keep him? 116 00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:10,986 - Well, I guess so, till I can find a better home for him. 117 00:06:11,019 --> 00:06:13,722 Hey, Latka, will you do me a favor and get Hamlet some water? 118 00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:16,224 - Come on. - Oh, I'm sorry, Bobby. 119 00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:18,326 Uh, you were telling me about this phone call. 120 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,595 - Yeah, it-- - Hey, so what's doing here? 121 00:06:19,628 --> 00:06:21,396 Are we gonna get some breakfast or what? 122 00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:22,998 Hey, what's this phone call you're waiting for? 123 00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:26,068 - It's about an acting job. - Oh... 124 00:06:26,101 --> 00:06:28,604 - Yeah, I'm up for the lead in an off-Broadway play. 125 00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,038 - That's something, isn't it? - All right! 126 00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:31,474 - Yeah, but the thing is, 127 00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:33,041 it's down between me and two other guys, 128 00:06:33,075 --> 00:06:35,611 and they said they'd let me know this morning, so... 129 00:06:35,644 --> 00:06:37,446 - Stuff like that's always happening to you. 130 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,414 - This is special? - Yeah. 131 00:06:39,448 --> 00:06:41,584 See, that's why I wanted to talk to you, Alex. 132 00:06:41,617 --> 00:06:44,587 I've got this whole thing that I-- 133 00:06:46,388 --> 00:06:47,923 All right, all right. Everybody sit down. 134 00:06:47,956 --> 00:06:49,291 I'll tell you. 135 00:06:52,427 --> 00:06:55,097 See, when I first came to New York-- 136 00:06:55,130 --> 00:06:56,599 - Where did you come from, Bobby? 137 00:06:56,632 --> 00:06:58,033 - The Bronx. 138 00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:03,806 I made this deal with myself. 139 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,273 I mean, I knew 140 00:07:05,307 --> 00:07:07,275 how there were thousands of starving actors here 141 00:07:07,309 --> 00:07:10,378 and how it's a rotten life and how very few make it 142 00:07:10,412 --> 00:07:12,615 and how you can get old trying, you know? 143 00:07:12,648 --> 00:07:14,850 So I gave myself a strict time limit. 144 00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:16,151 Three years. 145 00:07:16,184 --> 00:07:18,353 Three years to get started as an actor. 146 00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:20,422 Now, I promised myself, if in that amount of time 147 00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:21,924 if I didn't get a paid acting job 148 00:07:21,957 --> 00:07:24,960 I'd give it up, get a regular full-time job, 149 00:07:24,993 --> 00:07:26,862 and never think about acting again. 150 00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:29,865 I mean a guy can't go on like I've been doing forever, 151 00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:32,100 you know, beating my brains out here six nights a week, 152 00:07:32,134 --> 00:07:34,469 spending my days trying out for something that might not happen. 153 00:07:34,503 --> 00:07:35,971 I mean, there's got to be a limit. 154 00:07:36,004 --> 00:07:37,640 I figured three years. 155 00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:40,809 I mean, how could I not get a job in three years, you know? 156 00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:46,948 Three years are up today. 157 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:49,417 I mean, my life is riding on this job, you know? 158 00:07:49,451 --> 00:07:51,620 I got to get this part, Alex. 159 00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:53,856 You see, that's-that's why I wanted you to be with me. 160 00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:55,290 - Yeah, I know. 161 00:07:55,323 --> 00:07:57,459 - 'Cause you know how much I want to act. 162 00:07:57,492 --> 00:08:02,865 It's the only thing in the world that--that really matters to me. 163 00:08:02,898 --> 00:08:04,266 - Yeah, I know. 164 00:08:04,299 --> 00:08:05,901 - I mean, if they call up and they tell me 165 00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:07,670 that they're gonna pick one of those other guys, 166 00:08:07,703 --> 00:08:09,605 Alex, I don't know what I'm going to do. 167 00:08:09,638 --> 00:08:11,674 - W-What are you going to do? So they pick another guy. 168 00:08:11,707 --> 00:08:13,341 I mean, It's not the world, is it? 169 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:16,478 - All right, I want my dog. Where's my dog? 170 00:08:16,511 --> 00:08:17,980 I'll right back to you, Bobby. 171 00:08:18,013 --> 00:08:19,214 I got to deal with this guy first. 172 00:08:19,247 --> 00:08:20,849 - Come on, where is he? Hamlet? 173 00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:23,485 Hamlet? Oh, there he is. 174 00:08:23,518 --> 00:08:25,053 Would you give me that dog, please? 175 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,722 - What dog? - Well, that dog. 176 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,257 That's my dog. - I don't see any dog. 177 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,759 What dog are you talking about? 178 00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:32,194 - Yeah, I don't see any dog either. 179 00:08:32,227 --> 00:08:33,495 - Dog? What dog? 180 00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:37,465 Hey, Fred, do you see a dog? What dog? 181 00:08:37,499 --> 00:08:38,601 - Oh, I get it. 182 00:08:38,634 --> 00:08:40,268 You guys are looking for trouble, huh? 183 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:42,304 - Hey! What's going on out here? 184 00:08:42,337 --> 00:08:45,941 - Are you in charge here? 185 00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:50,445 - Do old ladies get mugged? 186 00:08:50,478 --> 00:08:54,783 - Well, that dog is my dog, and I want him now. 187 00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:57,519 - Hey, Louie, we don't know what this guy's talking about. 188 00:08:57,552 --> 00:09:00,122 You don't see no dog here, do ya? 189 00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:02,457 - Uh, yeah. 190 00:09:02,490 --> 00:09:04,860 I got something in my eyes. I can't see anything. 191 00:09:04,893 --> 00:09:06,995 I can't see if there's a dog here or not. 192 00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,363 Anybody got a dollar bill 193 00:09:08,396 --> 00:09:11,066 I could wipe the sweat out of my eyes? 194 00:09:11,099 --> 00:09:12,434 - Here, Louie. 195 00:09:13,969 --> 00:09:17,606 - There's no dog here, mister. 196 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,375 - You guys think you're pretty cute, don't you? 197 00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:22,544 Well, you'd better give me that dog 198 00:09:22,577 --> 00:09:24,880 and you'd better give him to me right now, because if you don't, 199 00:09:24,913 --> 00:09:27,616 I'm going straight from here to the police. 200 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,917 - Oh... 201 00:09:28,951 --> 00:09:30,585 - Now, does anybody want to talk to me about that or not? 202 00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:32,254 - Sure, you want somebody to talk to you? 203 00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:33,656 - Yeah. - Latka. 204 00:09:37,993 --> 00:09:39,161 - Hi. 205 00:10:00,048 --> 00:10:01,650 - Hi. 206 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,719 Yeah, yeah. This is Bobby Wheeler. 207 00:10:06,454 --> 00:10:10,492 Uh, no, uh... that's okay, you know. 208 00:10:10,525 --> 00:10:14,196 Right. I-I-I, uh... I appreciate the call, really. 209 00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:32,815 I didn't get the part, Hamlet. 210 00:10:45,593 --> 00:10:47,896 - Here are my bookings, Louie. 211 00:10:51,399 --> 00:10:52,701 That's a good Hamlet. 212 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,169 That's good, Hamlet. 213 00:10:54,202 --> 00:10:55,704 - Hey, Louie--Louie-- 214 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,405 for God's sake, man, it's my turn. 215 00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,708 Let me have him, huh? = All right, All right. 216 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,409 I'll let you have him, 217 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,646 but only 'cause your dreams are crashing around you. 218 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:05,914 - Thanks. 219 00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:07,916 Good boy. 220 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:10,986 Good boy. Yeah. 221 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,057 - Hey, Bobby, listen, don't worry about it. 222 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:17,325 Everything's going to be okay. 223 00:11:17,359 --> 00:11:20,963 - Will you stop talking to him like that, Elaine? 224 00:11:20,996 --> 00:11:23,098 How is everything be okay? 225 00:11:23,131 --> 00:11:24,867 Look, I don't know much about acting, 226 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,769 but what I do know is, if you want a good job, 227 00:11:26,802 --> 00:11:28,103 you got to go stand in line. 228 00:11:28,136 --> 00:11:30,505 If you want to find a good job acting, 229 00:11:30,538 --> 00:11:33,108 find a line to stand in. 230 00:11:33,141 --> 00:11:34,877 Bobby, you're not going to get anywhere sitting here 231 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:37,712 feeling sorry for yourself. 232 00:11:37,746 --> 00:11:39,314 - Damn it, Alex, you're right. 233 00:11:39,347 --> 00:11:42,184 There's still 14 hours to go before midnight. 234 00:11:42,217 --> 00:11:45,287 I'm gonna knock on every door in New York if I have to. 235 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,824 I don't care what it is-- bit part, commercial, walk-on-- 236 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:50,959 but I'm going to get something. 237 00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,398 Hi, Tom. - Hi, Bobby. 238 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,966 - Oh, gee, thanks a lot. 239 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,667 I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, really. 240 00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:00,836 Oh, don't mention it. 241 00:12:00,869 --> 00:12:02,370 Now, it's just a lucky thing 242 00:12:02,404 --> 00:12:03,872 that you happened to come by today. 243 00:12:03,906 --> 00:12:06,041 Now, look, Bobby, you do understand that the director 244 00:12:06,074 --> 00:12:07,876 is doing the casting on the commercial. 245 00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:09,377 I can't influence him for you. 246 00:12:09,411 --> 00:12:11,613 - Yeah, of course, but, you know, any tips 247 00:12:11,646 --> 00:12:13,315 on how I might be able to catch his eye? 248 00:12:13,348 --> 00:12:15,784 - Just, uh, be yourself. 249 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,820 - I better go rehearse a little. - Okay. 250 00:12:26,094 --> 00:12:27,429 - Tom? 251 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:38,140 Tom, okay, I'm ready. 252 00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:41,009 - Everybody, everybody, this is Peter Nicholson our director. 253 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,878 - Thank you. 254 00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:44,880 Okay, now, I'm sure you're all familiar with this commercial. 255 00:12:44,913 --> 00:12:47,382 I'd like Tom over here. - Yeah. 256 00:12:47,415 --> 00:12:50,118 - And I'd like you all to form a loose semicircle behind him 257 00:12:50,152 --> 00:12:53,455 with your backs towards him, please, okay? 258 00:12:53,488 --> 00:12:54,789 Now, I will cue Tom, 259 00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:57,525 and I want you to react naturally for me, okay? 260 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,228 And... Tom. 261 00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:05,000 - My broker is EF Hutton, and EF Hutton says... 262 00:13:08,336 --> 00:13:09,637 - Great! 263 00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:11,373 Okay, thank you. We'll be in touch. 264 00:13:11,406 --> 00:13:12,740 Thank you. 265 00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:23,118 - Uh, Tom, h-how did I do? 266 00:13:23,151 --> 00:13:25,220 - You did fine, just fine, Bobby, really. 267 00:13:25,253 --> 00:13:28,823 - You, uh, think I got a shot? - Yeah, you got a shot! 268 00:13:28,857 --> 00:13:31,093 - Gees, thanks, Tom. 269 00:13:54,649 --> 00:13:55,918 I'll be right there in a minute. 270 00:13:55,951 --> 00:13:57,185 I'll be right there, right there. 271 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,756 All right, coming, coming. 272 00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:03,191 Hey, come on in. 273 00:14:03,225 --> 00:14:04,559 - Hey, did you get the commercial? 274 00:14:04,592 --> 00:14:05,827 - Hey, did you get your commercial? 275 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:07,129 - Just wait a minute. 276 00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:09,397 - Are you going to tell us or not? 277 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,698 - Well, wait till everybody's inside. 278 00:14:10,732 --> 00:14:13,301 - Did you get it? 279 00:14:13,335 --> 00:14:14,502 - I didn't get it! 280 00:14:15,837 --> 00:14:17,872 - What? - What? 281 00:14:17,906 --> 00:14:19,707 - So what are we celebrating, then? 282 00:14:19,741 --> 00:14:21,176 - Oh. Well... 283 00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,979 My first acting job. 284 00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:26,048 - You got your first acting job? 285 00:14:26,081 --> 00:14:27,115 - Not yet! 286 00:14:28,616 --> 00:14:30,185 - What? 287 00:14:30,218 --> 00:14:32,787 - What is this, some kind of a new party game here? 288 00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:34,990 - Hey, it's okay that I didn't get a job, 289 00:14:35,023 --> 00:14:37,259 because I'm going to get one. 290 00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:39,394 - Wait a minute. Are you sure? 291 00:14:39,427 --> 00:14:40,662 - Oh, positive. 292 00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:44,399 - And it's gonna be before midnight tonight. 293 00:14:44,432 --> 00:14:46,401 Come on, I'll tell you all about it in a minute. 294 00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:48,070 Let's everybody have a drink. - Yeah, let's have a drink. 295 00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:49,972 - Hey, Latka, come on. - Let's go. 296 00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:53,608 - Okay, all right, somebody make a toast and we're set. 297 00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:54,742 - Okay, um... 298 00:14:54,776 --> 00:14:56,911 - Toast, toast. 299 00:15:03,018 --> 00:15:04,386 No, no. 300 00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:08,056 Everybody must do toast. 301 00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:12,860 - No, no, no, no. 302 00:15:17,032 --> 00:15:19,667 No, no, no. 303 00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:23,138 - Latka, if you don't mind, I'll make the toast. 304 00:15:24,539 --> 00:15:25,807 To Bobby's new job. 305 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,075 - Hear, hear. 306 00:15:27,109 --> 00:15:29,011 - Ni-nice toast. 307 00:15:31,046 --> 00:15:32,614 - Okay, come on, come on. Everybody, sit down. 308 00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:33,982 - Yeah, come on. - Okay. 309 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,085 Well, Bobby, why don't you just tell us 310 00:15:37,119 --> 00:15:38,453 about the job you're going to get? 311 00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:40,855 - Oh, well... When I found out 312 00:15:40,888 --> 00:15:42,057 I didn't get the commercial this morning, 313 00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:43,825 I really started hustling. 314 00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:46,128 I went into every casting office in this town. 315 00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:48,196 Some guys even had me read for parts, you know? 316 00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,698 And that's pretty good when you're going in cold, you know. 317 00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,867 - Yeah, I'll say. - Who am I kidding? 318 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:55,103 That's great when you're going in cold! 319 00:15:55,137 --> 00:15:56,771 And some of them even told me that I was in the running. 320 00:15:56,804 --> 00:15:58,173 So one of them should come through, right? 321 00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:59,941 - Sure. 322 00:15:59,974 --> 00:16:02,377 - I'm gonna get a call on my phone before midnight tonight 323 00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,878 when the three years are up, 324 00:16:03,911 --> 00:16:06,014 and I'm not going to have to give up acting. 325 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,216 Oh, you know, it's just so great 326 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,018 when you know it in your heart, man. 327 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,353 You don't have to sweat it anymore. 328 00:16:12,954 --> 00:16:14,622 - Well, maybe somebody is going to call you, Bobby, 329 00:16:14,656 --> 00:16:16,591 but how do you know they're gonna call before midnight? 330 00:16:16,624 --> 00:16:19,427 - Well, that's simple logic. 331 00:16:19,461 --> 00:16:23,298 You see, when you're good at something, you end up doing it. 332 00:16:23,331 --> 00:16:25,067 Now, I'm not going to end up acting 333 00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,070 unless I get a phone call before midnight, so... 334 00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:32,774 I'm gonna get a call before midnight. 335 00:16:32,807 --> 00:16:34,609 - Isn't it wonderful? 336 00:16:34,642 --> 00:16:37,345 I mean, so what if he doesn't get a call tonight? 337 00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:39,447 He's feeling really great right now. 338 00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,649 - Yeah, so what if you're falling off the cliff? 339 00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:43,385 The view is wonderful on the way down. 340 00:16:43,418 --> 00:16:44,486 - What does that mean? 341 00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:46,054 - Somebody better tell this guy 342 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,223 that he's setting himself up for too big a fall. 343 00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:49,724 - Alex, don't. 344 00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:51,826 - Sure, we all leave here at 11:59 with a song in our heart 345 00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:53,595 and hope we don't hear the thud. 346 00:16:53,628 --> 00:16:55,263 - I just don't think it's appropriate right now. 347 00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:58,300 - Hey, uh, what are you guys talking about? 348 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,068 - Nothing; Alex is just getting a little nervous. 349 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,436 - Now come on, Elaine. 350 00:17:01,469 --> 00:17:03,171 I got to tell him what I'm thinking. 351 00:17:03,205 --> 00:17:04,372 I'm his friend. - Hey, don't worry, Alex. 352 00:17:04,406 --> 00:17:05,840 I just explained to you why 353 00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:07,508 I'm gonna get the call before midnight, right? 354 00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:09,744 - Yeah, yeah, I know--because you're so good at acting. 355 00:17:09,777 --> 00:17:10,978 - Exactly. 356 00:17:11,012 --> 00:17:12,847 Great actors get jobs. 357 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,047 I'm a great actor. 358 00:17:14,082 --> 00:17:15,983 - Bobby, we got to be rational here. 359 00:17:16,017 --> 00:17:18,320 - I am being rational. I'm good. 360 00:17:18,353 --> 00:17:20,722 Good people do what they're good at and I'm good. 361 00:17:20,755 --> 00:17:22,123 - Bobby... 362 00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,624 - I got to act, Alex, because I'm good. 363 00:17:23,658 --> 00:17:26,060 - Bobby, listen-- - I'm good! 364 00:17:26,094 --> 00:17:27,461 - Look, just because someone doesn't call you 365 00:17:27,495 --> 00:17:29,197 by midnight doesn't mean-- 366 00:17:29,231 --> 00:17:30,865 - The only way that phone's not gonna ring before midnight, 367 00:17:30,898 --> 00:17:33,168 Alex, is if I'm not good enough. 368 00:17:33,201 --> 00:17:34,636 And you're not going to tell me-- 369 00:17:34,669 --> 00:17:36,171 - Maybe you're not that good. 370 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,974 Yet. 371 00:17:40,007 --> 00:17:41,709 Doesn't mean that with a little more experience, 372 00:17:41,743 --> 00:17:43,044 you couldn't get there. 373 00:17:43,077 --> 00:17:44,646 - All right, Just stop it. All right? 374 00:17:44,679 --> 00:17:45,847 Now you've said what you had to say. 375 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,851 Now let me talk, all right? 376 00:17:49,884 --> 00:17:56,924 Well, When I was six years old, Alex, my father died, 377 00:17:56,958 --> 00:17:59,127 and I never had any older brothers. 378 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:05,567 Had a couple of older sisters, but till I met you, 379 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,035 I don't think there was ever a man in my life 380 00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:10,772 that I felt was on my side. 381 00:18:10,805 --> 00:18:12,740 I mean, I had lots of friends and everything, 382 00:18:12,774 --> 00:18:14,542 but I always felt 383 00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:16,878 there was something special between you and me. 384 00:18:16,911 --> 00:18:20,948 And you knew that, Alex. 385 00:18:20,982 --> 00:18:23,285 You knew how I-- how I looked up to you 386 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:26,754 and respected you and counted on you. 387 00:18:26,788 --> 00:18:28,190 - Oh, come on, Bobby-- 388 00:18:28,223 --> 00:18:32,093 - Please, just... let me finish, all right? 389 00:18:32,126 --> 00:18:34,496 What you just said just now-- 390 00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:38,300 I mean, it would have been okay coming from a friend, 391 00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:45,640 but not from somebody I felt about the way I feel about you. 392 00:18:45,673 --> 00:18:47,809 I don't know how to tell you, I-- 393 00:18:47,842 --> 00:18:50,545 you just hurt me now, Alex. 394 00:18:50,578 --> 00:18:53,548 Except to say that 395 00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:56,551 it feels like, uh... 396 00:18:56,584 --> 00:18:58,620 Like my father just died again. 397 00:18:58,653 --> 00:19:00,054 - Oh, come on, Bobby. 398 00:19:00,087 --> 00:19:02,224 - No, it's a little late for that, man. 399 00:19:02,257 --> 00:19:03,958 I needed you and you let me down. 400 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:05,660 I needed you, Alex. 401 00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:07,795 - Bobby, Alex is only trying to-- 402 00:19:07,829 --> 00:19:09,063 - You stay out of this, Elaine! 403 00:19:09,096 --> 00:19:10,932 It's between Alex and me. 404 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,970 There's only one thing that I want from you right now, Alex. 405 00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:19,874 And that's for you to get out of here. 406 00:19:19,907 --> 00:19:22,610 I don't want to see you again. 407 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:24,812 I don't want to talk to you. 408 00:19:24,846 --> 00:19:27,449 I don't want to know you, man! 409 00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:29,050 - Bobby... 410 00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:30,585 - All right, come on, all right? 411 00:19:30,618 --> 00:19:33,187 Just get out, all right? Just get the hell out of here! 412 00:19:39,861 --> 00:19:42,397 You still say I'm not such a good actor? 413 00:19:57,645 --> 00:19:59,547 - Hey, that was something. 414 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,952 You bastard. 415 00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:16,798 - Now, baby, ring. Come on, ring. 416 00:20:16,831 --> 00:20:18,900 - Blap. Blap. 417 00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:26,040 - It's two minutes to 12:00, Bobby. 418 00:20:26,073 --> 00:20:27,642 - Yeah, I know what time it is, Elaine, 419 00:20:27,675 --> 00:20:29,210 but please stop telling me what time it is. 420 00:20:29,243 --> 00:20:31,913 I mean, it's going to ring before midnight 421 00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:33,548 and then that's that, you know? 422 00:20:33,581 --> 00:20:36,484 - I haven't said this yet, but it's going to ring. 423 00:20:36,518 --> 00:20:38,386 - Okay, now hold it down 424 00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:41,589 because it's, like, only 40 seconds left. 425 00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:43,958 It's going to ring. I just know it. 426 00:20:43,991 --> 00:20:45,226 It's going to ring. 427 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,901 - Maybe your watch is off. - No. 428 00:20:53,935 --> 00:20:56,371 It has to be by my watch. 429 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,908 Ten, nine, 430 00:21:00,942 --> 00:21:04,646 eight, seven, six, 431 00:21:04,679 --> 00:21:07,549 five, four, 432 00:21:07,582 --> 00:21:08,650 three, 433 00:21:08,683 --> 00:21:10,084 two, 434 00:21:10,117 --> 00:21:11,386 one, 435 00:21:11,419 --> 00:21:12,654 zero. 436 00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:13,721 Zero. 437 00:21:13,755 --> 00:21:15,089 Zero. 438 00:21:19,427 --> 00:21:20,762 Zero. 439 00:21:34,409 --> 00:21:39,447 I-I promised myself that I'd quit acting 440 00:21:39,481 --> 00:21:41,649 and get a job in three years. 441 00:21:43,117 --> 00:21:45,853 Well, it's-- it's been three years. 442 00:21:48,356 --> 00:21:49,657 Aw, what the hell. 443 00:21:49,691 --> 00:21:51,826 I'll give myself another three years. 444 00:22:05,239 --> 00:22:08,643 - There he is. That's my dog. 445 00:22:08,676 --> 00:22:11,646 Excuse me. 446 00:22:11,679 --> 00:22:13,047 Hamlet, come over here. 447 00:22:14,682 --> 00:22:17,018 I'll teach you to growl at me. Wait till I get you home! 448 00:22:17,051 --> 00:22:19,854 - Officer, where is this insane man going with my dog? 449 00:22:19,887 --> 00:22:22,890 - Your dog? - See, he admits it. 450 00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:25,226 - Officer, this is my dog and I'm taking him. 451 00:22:25,259 --> 00:22:27,829 - Officer, this is my dog and he's not going anywhere. 452 00:22:27,862 --> 00:22:29,497 - Why don't you just stand them at a distance 453 00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:30,898 and let them call the dog? 454 00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,967 Whichever one he goes to gets the dog, right? 455 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,702 - This guy ought to run for borough president. 456 00:22:34,736 --> 00:22:36,804 - All right, Officer, where do I stand? 457 00:22:36,838 --> 00:22:38,372 - You stand over there. - Fine. 458 00:22:38,406 --> 00:22:41,342 - Where do I stand? - And you stand over there. 459 00:22:47,715 --> 00:22:49,651 Sit, boy. 460 00:22:49,684 --> 00:22:52,720 Now, when I say so, I want you both to call the dog's name. 461 00:22:52,754 --> 00:22:54,856 And whichever one he goes to, that's the dog's owner, 462 00:22:54,889 --> 00:22:56,157 and that's that, okay? 463 00:22:56,190 --> 00:22:57,759 - Okay. - Okay. 464 00:22:57,792 --> 00:23:00,261 - Okay. - Oh, one second. 465 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,304 - Huh? 466 00:23:13,908 --> 00:23:15,543 What was that all about? 467 00:23:15,577 --> 00:23:18,079 - I just want to make sure no one's carrying any meat. 468 00:23:22,349 --> 00:23:25,019 Okay, call the dog. 469 00:23:25,052 --> 00:23:26,120 - Hamlet. - Hamlet. 470 00:23:26,153 --> 00:23:27,755 Hamlet. - Hamlet, come here. 471 00:23:27,789 --> 00:23:28,823 - Come over here, Hamlet. - Come on, Hamlet. 472 00:23:28,856 --> 00:23:30,257 - Hamlet. - Hamlet. 473 00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:32,660 - Hamlet, come over here. Come over here! 474 00:23:32,694 --> 00:23:34,128 Hamlet, come over here! 475 00:23:34,161 --> 00:23:35,963 Come over here! 476 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,765 Wait till I get you. 477 00:23:37,799 --> 00:23:38,766 Come over here. 478 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:39,901 You come over here! 479 00:23:39,934 --> 00:23:41,368 Come over here when I tell you. 480 00:23:41,402 --> 00:23:43,337 Come over here. 481 00:23:44,672 --> 00:23:46,140 Well, I guess that's that. 482 00:23:46,173 --> 00:23:47,408 - Hey, man, why would he do that? 483 00:23:47,441 --> 00:23:48,510 Go with the guy that beats him? 484 00:23:50,311 --> 00:23:52,179 - It's his dog! It's his dog! 485 00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:53,781 It's his dog! 486 00:24:30,217 --> 00:24:33,287 Night, Mr. Walters.