1 00:00:01,364 --> 00:00:04,367 [theme music playing] 2 00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:07,299 [singing in native language] 3 00:01:13,435 --> 00:01:16,613 Everybody sing. 4 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:18,354 Hey, Bobby... 5 00:01:18,484 --> 00:01:20,356 Hey. How come you look so happy? 6 00:01:20,486 --> 00:01:23,663 You know, this really strange thing happened to me last night. 7 00:01:23,794 --> 00:01:25,056 I called you up to see if you wanted 8 00:01:25,187 --> 00:01:26,231 to go out for a beer or something 9 00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:27,928 - and you weren't home. - Right. 10 00:01:28,059 --> 00:01:29,016 I talked to this girl on your answering service... 11 00:01:29,147 --> 00:01:30,235 - Named Angela. - Angela. 12 00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:32,890 Oh, she's terrific. 13 00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,283 My favorite operator. 14 00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:35,980 You know, I call for my messages, 15 00:01:36,111 --> 00:01:37,286 and all the rest of them 16 00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:39,417 they just say, "Still nothing." 17 00:01:39,548 --> 00:01:41,725 You know, an actor doesn't like to hear that 18 00:01:41,855 --> 00:01:43,988 but Angela-- nobody called me-- 19 00:01:44,119 --> 00:01:45,816 she gives me other people's messages. 20 00:01:45,946 --> 00:01:48,819 Yeah, yeah, she really seemed nice on the phone, you know? 21 00:01:48,949 --> 00:01:50,647 Oh, unbelievably nice. 22 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,387 [Louie] Hey, Rieger? 23 00:01:52,518 --> 00:01:54,911 You know, sometimes she gives me Gene Shalit's messages. 24 00:01:55,042 --> 00:01:56,957 - Really? - Yeah. Gene and me 25 00:01:57,088 --> 00:01:58,959 we use the same service, you know. 26 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:01,005 A lot of stars call him. 27 00:02:01,136 --> 00:02:02,224 You know who called him yesterday? 28 00:02:02,354 --> 00:02:04,530 - Who? - Erma Bombeck. 29 00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:09,274 Hey, you ever been out with Angela, Bobby? 30 00:02:09,404 --> 00:02:12,147 Angela? From your answering service? 31 00:02:12,277 --> 00:02:13,713 Oh, she's a peach. 32 00:02:13,844 --> 00:02:15,889 One night she and I discussed my boxing career. 33 00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,587 You know, we never even met 34 00:02:17,717 --> 00:02:21,678 and still we must have talked for around five minutes. 35 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,334 That's longer than most of your fights last. 36 00:02:25,464 --> 00:02:28,902 - Yeah. - Yeah. 37 00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:30,817 We talked for a while too. 38 00:02:30,948 --> 00:02:32,123 Over an hour. 39 00:02:32,254 --> 00:02:33,603 - Wow, an hour? - Yeah. 40 00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:35,082 Hold it. 41 00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:36,475 You tied up my line for an hour? 42 00:02:36,606 --> 00:02:37,824 Alex, I could be getting acting jobs 43 00:02:37,955 --> 00:02:39,043 during that time. 44 00:02:39,174 --> 00:02:40,653 I sort of forgot about the time. 45 00:02:40,784 --> 00:02:42,742 I mean she was so terrific on the phone. 46 00:02:42,873 --> 00:02:45,963 Hey, how come you never thought about asking her out? 47 00:02:46,093 --> 00:02:47,617 Well, I almost asked her out once 48 00:02:47,747 --> 00:02:50,359 but I decided against it, it wasn't worth the risk. 49 00:02:50,489 --> 00:02:51,664 What risk? 50 00:02:51,795 --> 00:02:53,579 She might turn out to be a dog. 51 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:54,624 Oh. 52 00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:56,103 Geez. 53 00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:58,584 Did you just geez at me, Elaine? 54 00:02:58,715 --> 00:03:00,847 I can't believe you. I mean you wouldn't go out 55 00:03:00,978 --> 00:03:02,197 with a woman if she wasn't good looking? 56 00:03:02,327 --> 00:03:03,937 Sure, I would. 57 00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:07,027 If I was real drunk or something. 58 00:03:07,158 --> 00:03:09,029 Hey come on, Elaine. 59 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,075 Looks matter to women too. 60 00:03:11,206 --> 00:03:13,817 How popular are short, pudgy, ugly men? 61 00:03:13,947 --> 00:03:16,515 Yeah. How popular, Louie? 62 00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:18,300 You know, Bobby 63 00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,606 I hope someone slams a door on your nose 64 00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:24,480 and you sneeze and your head explodes. 65 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:30,703 If you had such a good conversation with her, Alex 66 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:32,096 why don't you ask her out? 67 00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:34,577 Well, I'm thinking about it. 68 00:03:34,707 --> 00:03:37,493 Yeah, well, I got to call for my messages. 69 00:03:37,623 --> 00:03:40,322 Hey, if Angela should happen to answer 70 00:03:40,452 --> 00:03:42,019 - should I... - No. 71 00:03:42,149 --> 00:03:44,587 All right, whatever, but you better move fast. 72 00:03:44,717 --> 00:03:45,979 Why? 73 00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:47,719 So you can tell me what she's like. 74 00:03:47,851 --> 00:03:48,981 Hi. 75 00:03:49,113 --> 00:03:52,377 Any for Wheeler, 131? 76 00:03:52,508 --> 00:03:53,683 Anything for Shalit? 77 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:59,863 Hey, Angela, how'd you like talking to my friend, Alex? 78 00:03:59,993 --> 00:04:01,343 Oh, yeah. 79 00:04:01,473 --> 00:04:03,127 He's even better than he sounds. 80 00:04:03,258 --> 00:04:05,825 Sure. I'll describe him to you. 81 00:04:05,956 --> 00:04:08,088 Before Bobby gets cute, I, uh... 82 00:04:08,219 --> 00:04:10,656 Oh, this is Alex. 83 00:04:10,787 --> 00:04:12,136 Oh, yeah? 84 00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:16,140 Yeah, I remember your voice, too 85 00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:18,402 even though I knew it was you. 86 00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:20,231 I mean, even if I didn't know it was you 87 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:23,626 and I heard your voice, I would know it was you. 88 00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:25,671 You want to go out with me? 89 00:04:25,802 --> 00:04:27,107 - Smooth, Alex. - Would you get out of here? 90 00:04:27,238 --> 00:04:28,195 Oh, boy. 91 00:04:28,326 --> 00:04:30,197 What, "Oh, boy?" 92 00:04:30,328 --> 00:04:31,503 What you got there, Latka? 93 00:04:31,634 --> 00:04:34,637 [speaking native language] 94 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:39,685 Okay, okay, Latka. Shh! Slow down, okay? 95 00:04:39,816 --> 00:04:41,600 - Slow down. - Okay. 96 00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,689 [speaking native language slowly] 97 00:04:52,263 --> 00:04:54,309 You found it on the back seat. 98 00:04:54,439 --> 00:04:55,832 Yeah. 99 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,661 2,000 bucks. 100 00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:00,097 2,000 smackers. 101 00:05:00,227 --> 00:05:01,577 Not smackers. Bucks. 102 00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:07,757 Latka, you found the 2,000 bucks 103 00:05:07,887 --> 00:05:09,062 I've been looking for. 104 00:05:09,193 --> 00:05:11,108 Hey, you never lost 2,000 bucks. 105 00:05:11,238 --> 00:05:12,631 I didn't say I lost it. 106 00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:14,590 I just said I was looking for it. 107 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,940 I've been looking for 2,000 bucks all my life. 108 00:05:17,070 --> 00:05:19,029 Hands off, Louie. 109 00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:21,031 [man] Hey, Louie... 110 00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:22,815 it's your mother calling. 111 00:05:22,946 --> 00:05:25,296 She says somebody's trying to break into her apartment. 112 00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:26,732 Tell her I'll get back to her. 113 00:05:28,604 --> 00:05:29,909 That's your mother. 114 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,607 All right. I'll talk to her now. 115 00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:34,174 Don't do nothing with that money while I'm gone. 116 00:05:35,915 --> 00:05:38,657 Listen, somebody has to bring this up. 117 00:05:38,788 --> 00:05:40,964 The hack rules say that this money 118 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:42,792 must be returned to the police precinct. 119 00:05:42,922 --> 00:05:43,967 No police. 120 00:05:44,097 --> 00:05:45,534 Oh, it's okay, if we turn it in 121 00:05:45,664 --> 00:05:47,448 and nobody claims it within 90 days 122 00:05:47,579 --> 00:05:48,972 then it's returned to us, free and clear. 123 00:05:49,102 --> 00:05:52,105 No police, no police, no nothing. 124 00:05:52,236 --> 00:05:53,585 Just money. 125 00:05:56,196 --> 00:05:59,156 You know, it's probably dirty money, right? 126 00:05:59,286 --> 00:06:00,853 I mean what kind of decent person 127 00:06:00,984 --> 00:06:03,247 walks around with 2,000 bucks in cash, right? 128 00:06:03,378 --> 00:06:05,815 A priest who collected it 129 00:06:05,945 --> 00:06:07,860 for underprivileged crippled children. 130 00:06:07,991 --> 00:06:11,821 Or a nun on her way to send it to starving natives. 131 00:06:11,951 --> 00:06:13,300 Or a hooker. 132 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:17,566 Hey, Alex, listen, we got a little problem. 133 00:06:17,696 --> 00:06:19,132 Latka just found this bunch of money... 134 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:21,265 [speaking native language] 135 00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:29,273 Oh, it gets better every time he tells it. 136 00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:31,449 Anyway, we're trying to decide what to do. 137 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:33,277 Yeah? Good. I got to leave. I got a date. 138 00:06:33,408 --> 00:06:34,974 - With Angela? - Uh-huh. 139 00:06:35,105 --> 00:06:36,672 Hey, way to go. 140 00:06:36,802 --> 00:06:38,587 I never worked so hard for a date in my life. 141 00:06:38,717 --> 00:06:40,327 Hey, where you taking her? 142 00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:43,026 Well, I thought I'd take her to dinner, uh, Mario's. 143 00:06:43,156 --> 00:06:45,289 It's a nice place, but stay away 144 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:47,422 from the clams oreganata with eggplant. 145 00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,901 It killed my sister-in-law. 146 00:06:50,947 --> 00:06:52,470 Have a good time, Alex. 147 00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:20,150 Doesn't get any better. 148 00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:24,589 Hi. I'm Alex. 149 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,025 You blew it. You could have said 150 00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:27,592 you were looking for another apartment. 151 00:07:27,722 --> 00:07:30,595 No. I was looking for this one, 3-D. 152 00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:33,642 It fell off when I knocked on... door. 153 00:07:33,772 --> 00:07:35,165 Well, my admirers 154 00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:37,863 will just have to wander the halls looking for me. 155 00:07:37,994 --> 00:07:40,083 I hate to disappoint you, but I'm Angela. 156 00:07:40,213 --> 00:07:41,519 Oh. Here's your "D." 157 00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:44,522 You want to come in? 158 00:07:44,653 --> 00:07:46,219 Huh? Yeah. Sure. 159 00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:51,486 You got guts. 160 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,145 It's very nice. 161 00:07:59,276 --> 00:08:00,582 You're doing very well. 162 00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:01,757 Huh? 163 00:08:01,887 --> 00:08:03,454 The smile, I mean. 164 00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:07,850 Most guys drop it ten seconds after they see me. 165 00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,242 You can stop now. 166 00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:11,114 You've got the record. 167 00:08:11,244 --> 00:08:12,289 Say... 168 00:08:12,419 --> 00:08:13,986 so... 169 00:08:14,117 --> 00:08:16,467 so, Angela... 170 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,991 This is really very nice. 171 00:08:19,122 --> 00:08:20,863 Do you want to use the phone? 172 00:08:20,993 --> 00:08:21,864 What for? 173 00:08:21,994 --> 00:08:23,343 To call your mother. 174 00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:24,823 Maybe you'll be lucky and she'll be sick 175 00:08:24,954 --> 00:08:26,651 and you'll have to run over and see her. 176 00:08:26,782 --> 00:08:28,218 [laughs] 177 00:08:30,525 --> 00:08:33,439 That's some sense of humor you got there, Angela. 178 00:08:33,571 --> 00:08:35,530 Well, listen, our dinner reservations 179 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:37,009 aren't for about an hour 180 00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:38,968 so you want to get something first 181 00:08:39,097 --> 00:08:40,665 somewhere else-- a drink or something? 182 00:08:40,795 --> 00:08:42,145 You must know a really dark bar 183 00:08:42,275 --> 00:08:44,234 where no one will see us. 184 00:08:44,364 --> 00:08:46,845 We don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. 185 00:08:46,976 --> 00:08:47,933 We can have a drink here. 186 00:08:48,064 --> 00:08:49,413 Sure, why take any chance 187 00:08:49,544 --> 00:08:51,197 on anyone seeing you with me. 188 00:08:51,328 --> 00:08:53,025 What would you like to drink? 189 00:08:53,156 --> 00:08:54,897 What do you got? 190 00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:56,725 Malteds. 191 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,599 Listen, we can get something at the restaurant. 192 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:02,861 Hope you like Italian. 193 00:09:02,992 --> 00:09:04,123 Doesn't matter. 194 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:05,429 As you can see, I eat anything. 195 00:09:07,039 --> 00:09:10,086 If you want, I could fix you something here. 196 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,783 You don't want to go out? 197 00:09:11,914 --> 00:09:13,350 I don't care. 198 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,005 I was just trying to make it easy on you. 199 00:09:16,135 --> 00:09:17,746 Get your coat. 200 00:09:17,876 --> 00:09:18,877 What are you trying to prove? 201 00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:20,400 That you're a great guy? 202 00:09:20,531 --> 00:09:22,838 Okay. You're a great guy. A real prince. 203 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,798 Um... here. 204 00:09:26,929 --> 00:09:28,321 Here's your coat. 205 00:09:28,452 --> 00:09:30,236 You don't know when to quit, do you? 206 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,412 Hey, I asked you out for dinner, we're going out for dinner. 207 00:09:35,285 --> 00:09:36,895 It will be fun. You'll see. 208 00:09:38,636 --> 00:09:40,116 Fat chance. 209 00:09:45,164 --> 00:09:47,950 Do you like clams oreganata with eggplant? 210 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:08,187 I never met anybody who liked anchovies. 211 00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:10,842 Rich people probably like them. 212 00:10:10,973 --> 00:10:12,191 Rich people like anything 213 00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:14,237 that's small that tastes weird. 214 00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:18,894 Why don't you drop the act now, huh? 215 00:10:19,024 --> 00:10:20,504 What? What act? 216 00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:22,288 Pretending that you're not having a lousy time. 217 00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:23,986 Hey, come on, Angela, would you? 218 00:10:26,031 --> 00:10:27,685 What do you still got your coat on for? 219 00:10:27,816 --> 00:10:29,905 The management requested it. 220 00:10:31,428 --> 00:10:33,386 Don't you care for your salad? 221 00:10:33,517 --> 00:10:34,823 I wouldn't know if I cared for it or not. 222 00:10:34,953 --> 00:10:35,867 I didn't eat it. 223 00:10:35,998 --> 00:10:37,216 Hey, what's with you? 224 00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:38,261 What's the matter? Aren't you 225 00:10:38,391 --> 00:10:39,479 having a good time anymore? 226 00:10:40,785 --> 00:10:43,179 I once went out with a girl who pulled a knife on me, robbed me 227 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,311 and threw me out of her car on the New Jersey turnpike. 228 00:10:47,183 --> 00:10:49,228 I have to think about that now as a medium date. 229 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,580 So you want to take me home now? 230 00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:54,930 Yeah, I'd be happy to. 231 00:10:58,716 --> 00:11:00,892 - There he is. - Let's go out this way. 232 00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:05,462 Hey, Alex, I'm really sorry. 233 00:11:05,592 --> 00:11:06,855 But I tried to stop them 234 00:11:06,985 --> 00:11:08,421 from coming down and bothering you. 235 00:11:08,552 --> 00:11:09,945 Angela Matusa, 236 00:11:10,075 --> 00:11:12,948 this is Tony Banta, John Burns, Latka Gravas 237 00:11:13,078 --> 00:11:15,777 and Bobby Wheeler, who I guess you sort of know. 238 00:11:15,907 --> 00:11:18,301 Nice to finally meet you, Angela. 239 00:11:18,431 --> 00:11:20,042 Am I what you pictured, Bobby? 240 00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:21,434 Yeah, more or less. 241 00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:24,568 More. 242 00:11:26,657 --> 00:11:28,703 What are you guys doing here? 243 00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:30,966 [Angela] If you'll excuse me. I have to use the ladies' room. 244 00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:35,187 Hey, Alex... 245 00:11:35,318 --> 00:11:36,319 So how's your big date? 246 00:11:36,449 --> 00:11:37,407 All right, just stop that. 247 00:11:37,537 --> 00:11:38,538 [laughter] 248 00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:39,583 That's not funny. 249 00:11:39,714 --> 00:11:40,932 Hey. 250 00:11:41,063 --> 00:11:43,587 [speaking native language] 251 00:11:44,849 --> 00:11:46,503 I think Latka likes her. 252 00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:47,809 Do you like her, Latka? 253 00:11:47,939 --> 00:11:49,288 Maybe Alex will give you her number. 254 00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:50,507 You could call her up for tomorrow night. 255 00:11:50,637 --> 00:11:52,291 Oh, no. Thank you very much. 256 00:11:54,946 --> 00:11:56,121 All right, what do you clowns want? 257 00:11:59,821 --> 00:12:01,257 Yeah. Why don't you sit down? 258 00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:04,913 Well, you know the money that Latka found? 259 00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:06,958 We're still trying to decide what to do with it. 260 00:12:07,089 --> 00:12:08,960 We wanted you to hold onto it 261 00:12:09,091 --> 00:12:10,919 until we figure out what to do with it, all right? 262 00:12:11,049 --> 00:12:12,616 Yeah, because otherwise 263 00:12:12,747 --> 00:12:13,922 we're going to have to spend the night as a group 264 00:12:14,052 --> 00:12:17,142 'cause nobody trusts nobody. 265 00:12:17,273 --> 00:12:18,448 Except you. 266 00:12:18,578 --> 00:12:20,755 Everybody trusts you. 267 00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:21,930 Okay. 268 00:12:24,584 --> 00:12:26,848 Want to give us a receipt? 269 00:12:26,978 --> 00:12:28,893 Oh, here comes Angela. 270 00:12:32,331 --> 00:12:33,898 Now be polite, huh? 271 00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:34,899 Control yourself. 272 00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:35,900 Oh, hi. 273 00:12:36,031 --> 00:12:37,467 Good to see you back. 274 00:12:37,597 --> 00:12:40,035 Everything go all right in the ladies' room? 275 00:12:40,165 --> 00:12:41,340 We should be going now. Okay. 276 00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:42,428 Nice meeting you, Angela. 277 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:43,386 - Bye. - See you. 278 00:12:43,516 --> 00:12:44,779 Yeah, so long. 279 00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:49,784 Bet your friends 280 00:12:49,914 --> 00:12:50,959 got quite a kick out of me, huh? 281 00:12:51,089 --> 00:12:52,787 What do you mean? 282 00:12:52,917 --> 00:12:54,614 I heard them all break up as soon as I left. 283 00:12:54,745 --> 00:12:55,833 They weren't laughing at you. 284 00:12:55,964 --> 00:12:57,617 - No? - No. 285 00:12:59,706 --> 00:13:01,012 One of the guys told a joke. 286 00:13:01,143 --> 00:13:02,448 Why are you afraid to tell me 287 00:13:02,579 --> 00:13:04,015 they were laughing at me? I can take it. 288 00:13:04,146 --> 00:13:05,843 Because they weren't. Now can we drop this? 289 00:13:05,974 --> 00:13:07,149 All I know is, I heard a big laugh 290 00:13:07,279 --> 00:13:08,237 as soon as I left the table. 291 00:13:08,367 --> 00:13:09,891 I told you what it was. 292 00:13:10,021 --> 00:13:11,153 What do you want from me? 293 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,416 I want you to stop lying to me. 294 00:13:13,546 --> 00:13:15,548 You've been lying to me all night, and I'm sick of it. 295 00:13:17,159 --> 00:13:18,638 Okay. 296 00:13:18,769 --> 00:13:20,640 They were laughing at you, okay? 297 00:13:24,122 --> 00:13:25,471 You could have held out. 298 00:13:25,602 --> 00:13:27,865 I was almost ready to believe you. 299 00:13:27,996 --> 00:13:29,040 Look, you don't have 300 00:13:29,171 --> 00:13:30,041 to bother seeing me home. 301 00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:31,608 No, I'll take you. 302 00:13:31,738 --> 00:13:32,783 No, really. I'm one of the few women in New York 303 00:13:32,914 --> 00:13:34,437 who's safe on the streets. 304 00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,918 Come on, you came with me, you're leaving with me. 305 00:13:37,048 --> 00:13:38,876 Listen, let's not spoil a lovely evening 306 00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:40,486 by arguing, okay? 307 00:13:40,617 --> 00:13:42,532 And hey, don't worry. You did your duty. 308 00:13:42,662 --> 00:13:44,012 You proved you were a nice guy. 309 00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:45,055 I'm taking you. 310 00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:46,753 Get your paws off me. 311 00:13:46,884 --> 00:13:49,365 They give you a little dinner, they think they own you. 312 00:14:03,988 --> 00:14:07,296 Latka! Will you cut it out?! 313 00:14:07,426 --> 00:14:09,602 You're not going to find any more money. 314 00:14:09,733 --> 00:14:13,128 Besides, these cabs got to go out soon 315 00:14:13,258 --> 00:14:17,045 but they can't go out with no back seats 316 00:14:17,175 --> 00:14:20,091 'cause where will our passengers sit? 317 00:14:20,222 --> 00:14:21,266 You want them to squat 318 00:14:21,397 --> 00:14:24,269 on the floor like ducks? 319 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,401 Okay. 320 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,446 Put the damn seats back 321 00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:30,275 you dumb foreigner. 322 00:14:30,406 --> 00:14:31,973 - Come on! - Foreigner? 323 00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:33,670 - Yeah. - Did you said foreigner? 324 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,150 Yeah. 325 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:36,499 For you. 326 00:14:39,632 --> 00:14:40,807 What's that mean? 327 00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:42,244 Means this. 328 00:14:45,247 --> 00:14:47,336 You better smile when you do that, buddy. 329 00:14:47,466 --> 00:14:48,511 Oh, yeah? 330 00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:54,691 Okay, pal, mull this one over. 331 00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:57,781 Oh, all right. 332 00:14:57,912 --> 00:14:59,435 I accept your apology. 333 00:15:07,617 --> 00:15:09,836 But we still don't know who was driving 334 00:15:09,967 --> 00:15:11,795 when the money was left in it. 335 00:15:12,752 --> 00:15:13,884 Hi, Alex. 336 00:15:14,015 --> 00:15:17,105 Hey, Alex, did you score? 337 00:15:17,235 --> 00:15:19,107 Shut up. 338 00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:20,325 I guess not. 339 00:15:22,023 --> 00:15:23,981 Geez. 340 00:15:24,112 --> 00:15:25,330 I heard about your date. 341 00:15:25,461 --> 00:15:26,941 Oh, yeah? 342 00:15:27,071 --> 00:15:29,160 - Yeah. - I wonder how come? 343 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:32,947 You get some real kooks on blind dates, boy. 344 00:15:33,077 --> 00:15:34,339 Like this one. 345 00:15:36,124 --> 00:15:38,517 I show up-- looking good, per usual-- 346 00:15:40,215 --> 00:15:42,782 and this girl comes to the door. 347 00:15:42,913 --> 00:15:43,958 Beautiful. 348 00:15:44,088 --> 00:15:45,263 Not your type. 349 00:15:45,394 --> 00:15:47,091 Right, 'cause to be honest 350 00:15:47,222 --> 00:15:51,966 I prefer my women "H and H"-- homely and hot. 351 00:15:52,096 --> 00:15:53,228 I misjudged you, Louie. 352 00:15:53,358 --> 00:15:55,186 You're really a poet, you know? 353 00:15:55,317 --> 00:15:56,492 You bet. 354 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,972 Can I have my receipt, please? 355 00:15:58,102 --> 00:16:02,019 Anyway, all of a sudden, she says, "I feel sick." 356 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:04,891 Tells me she thinks she was exposed to cholera 357 00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:07,938 earlier that day. 358 00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:09,374 So, what did you do? 359 00:16:09,505 --> 00:16:11,246 I tried to take her blouse off. 360 00:16:11,376 --> 00:16:13,857 It's not my fault she feels sick 361 00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:17,034 so why shouldn't one of us have a good time, right? 362 00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:18,557 You know, every time I talk to you, Louie 363 00:16:18,688 --> 00:16:22,300 I feel grateful that I haven't eaten yet. 364 00:16:22,431 --> 00:16:23,432 Heard about your date. 365 00:16:23,562 --> 00:16:24,781 Oh, yeah, what was it, 366 00:16:24,911 --> 00:16:26,174 broadcast over the PA? 367 00:16:26,304 --> 00:16:27,653 Yeah. 368 00:16:32,093 --> 00:16:34,399 Hey, Elaine, can I talk to you 369 00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:36,010 - for a minute? - Yeah, sure. 370 00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,099 I don't want any advice. I just want to talk. 371 00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,144 Go ahead. 372 00:16:40,275 --> 00:16:42,886 I can't stop thinking about that girl. 373 00:16:43,017 --> 00:16:44,583 You know, you're a terrific guy. 374 00:16:44,714 --> 00:16:46,237 That's not what I want to hear. 375 00:16:46,368 --> 00:16:47,717 It just goes to show you how terrific you are. 376 00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:49,414 All night long, she kept accusing me 377 00:16:49,545 --> 00:16:51,329 of going through the motions-- 378 00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,940 that I wouldn't call her again because of her looks 379 00:16:54,071 --> 00:16:55,551 and I kept telling her she was wrong. 380 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,856 Terrific. 381 00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:58,858 But she wasn't wrong. 382 00:16:58,989 --> 00:17:00,599 Oh, Alex, you too? 383 00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:02,384 No. Listen, you know, what I can't figure out 384 00:17:02,514 --> 00:17:04,950 is that hour I had with her on the phone 385 00:17:05,082 --> 00:17:07,215 was one of the greatest conversations I've ever had. 386 00:17:07,344 --> 00:17:09,085 A witty, bright, sensitive girl 387 00:17:09,217 --> 00:17:11,262 who came to the door disappeared. 388 00:17:11,392 --> 00:17:12,306 What happened to her? 389 00:17:12,437 --> 00:17:14,222 Maybe Angela ate her. 390 00:17:21,663 --> 00:17:23,622 It wasn't just her looks. 391 00:17:23,753 --> 00:17:25,797 She was also the bitterest, surliest 392 00:17:25,929 --> 00:17:27,974 most depressing person I ever met. 393 00:17:29,672 --> 00:17:31,717 So, how come I feel like I have to go see her again? 394 00:17:31,848 --> 00:17:34,329 I don't know. You got an answer for that? 395 00:17:34,459 --> 00:17:36,679 Yeah, I feel like 396 00:17:36,809 --> 00:17:37,897 I'm walking away from a car wreck 397 00:17:38,028 --> 00:17:39,203 with a person trapped inside. 398 00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:41,466 That's true. 399 00:17:41,597 --> 00:17:43,947 I'm going to go see her. 400 00:17:44,078 --> 00:17:45,644 Oh, before I forget 401 00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:47,124 you can give us that money back now. 402 00:17:47,255 --> 00:17:49,039 Even though we're nowhere near 403 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,606 figuring out how to split it. 404 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,042 Hey, listen, Latka found it. 405 00:17:52,173 --> 00:17:53,174 Why don't you give it all to him? 406 00:17:53,304 --> 00:17:55,350 That's one we didn't think of. 407 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,004 What are you talking about? 408 00:17:58,135 --> 00:18:00,355 He doesn't know what to do with that kind of money. 409 00:18:00,485 --> 00:18:01,921 Yeah, he'll probably just blow it 410 00:18:02,052 --> 00:18:03,967 on rent or food or something. 411 00:18:04,098 --> 00:18:05,664 How can you give it to him? 412 00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:07,927 You want to pop the veins in my head? 413 00:18:09,973 --> 00:18:11,931 Here, Latka, take your money. 414 00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:16,066 Okay, you guys. 415 00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:20,505 [speaking native language] 416 00:18:23,291 --> 00:18:25,031 Thank you very much. 417 00:18:28,513 --> 00:18:29,427 Hey, no, no. 418 00:18:29,558 --> 00:18:30,907 Latka, Latka, please. 419 00:18:31,037 --> 00:18:32,256 Please, not now. 420 00:19:02,156 --> 00:19:04,070 Let's make it seven out of 13. 421 00:19:10,947 --> 00:19:12,166 What are you doing this time 422 00:19:12,296 --> 00:19:13,819 praying nobody will be home? 423 00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:17,301 Huh? No. Listen, I just dropped by because I, I... 424 00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:19,434 Come in if you want. 425 00:19:19,564 --> 00:19:20,696 Okay. 426 00:19:22,176 --> 00:19:24,961 I guess I should have called first, but, uh... 427 00:19:25,091 --> 00:19:27,093 Hey, is this our second date? 428 00:19:27,224 --> 00:19:28,399 I don't know. 429 00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:30,053 Let's say it is. I've never had one. 430 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:32,360 Okay, it's our second date. 431 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:35,276 Good, so far it looks like I haven't been missing anything. 432 00:19:35,406 --> 00:19:37,495 Hey, Angela? Will you just let me get out what I have to say? 433 00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:39,323 Because I don't want to end up 434 00:19:39,454 --> 00:19:41,369 with us doing that stupid stuff that we did last night. 435 00:19:41,499 --> 00:19:43,022 You mean falling in love? 436 00:19:43,153 --> 00:19:44,285 Would you like to hear what I have to say or not? 437 00:19:44,415 --> 00:19:45,851 Can I get a drink first? 438 00:19:45,982 --> 00:19:47,201 I have a feeling I'm going to need a drink. 439 00:19:47,331 --> 00:19:48,550 Yeah, go ahead. 440 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,116 - You want anything? - No, thanks. 441 00:19:50,247 --> 00:19:52,771 So, what's on your mind? 442 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,210 Well, I, uh... 443 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:57,472 I don't really know. 444 00:19:57,602 --> 00:19:58,777 I, uh... 445 00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:02,999 I guess I would sort of like to get to know you better. 446 00:20:03,129 --> 00:20:05,219 - Why? - Why not? 447 00:20:06,742 --> 00:20:08,439 Well, you might not know to look at me 448 00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:12,922 but I'm not exactly beautiful, or, uh, even good-looking. 449 00:20:13,052 --> 00:20:14,576 I'm not quite plain. 450 00:20:14,706 --> 00:20:16,621 Now, feel free to jump in and stop me anytime. 451 00:20:16,752 --> 00:20:17,970 Hey, come on. 452 00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:20,321 I'm no Robert Redford, you know. 453 00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:22,627 I wouldn't mind looking like you if I was a man. 454 00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:24,803 Would you want to look like me? 455 00:20:24,934 --> 00:20:27,153 Wouldn't be so bad. 456 00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:29,547 I'd, you know, kind of fix up my hair 457 00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:33,072 and, uh... I'd do that sort of stuff with makeup 458 00:20:33,203 --> 00:20:37,512 and, uh, I'd go to a gym, and I'd work on myself. 459 00:20:37,642 --> 00:20:39,688 I mean, that's what I would do. 460 00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:41,820 Not that I'm saying that you should do anything. 461 00:20:41,951 --> 00:20:45,650 It's just what I would do. 462 00:20:45,781 --> 00:20:48,566 Okay, let's say I did all the hairdo and makeup 463 00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:50,829 and everything and dropped ten or 70 pounds. 464 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,266 Do you think I'd be attractive? 465 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:55,660 Do you think I'd be attractive? 466 00:20:57,706 --> 00:20:58,794 Yeah, sure, why not? 467 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,491 In a romantic sort of way? 468 00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:03,755 You don't have to answer. 469 00:21:03,886 --> 00:21:05,714 You could just nod. 470 00:21:05,844 --> 00:21:09,283 Hey, look, I'm not, uh... 471 00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:11,763 I haven't been romantically involved in eight years 472 00:21:11,894 --> 00:21:13,896 and I'm not about to break my streak right now. 473 00:21:14,026 --> 00:21:17,552 Hey, look, but we, uh... we did have fun 474 00:21:17,682 --> 00:21:18,944 talking on the phone the other day, didn't we? 475 00:21:19,075 --> 00:21:20,511 I mean, that was sort of special. 476 00:21:20,642 --> 00:21:22,992 Hey, look, I swear I'm not that comfortable 477 00:21:23,122 --> 00:21:24,123 with that many people. 478 00:21:25,386 --> 00:21:27,736 I just think that we could get to be friends. 479 00:21:28,998 --> 00:21:30,652 I can't believe you came all the way back here 480 00:21:30,782 --> 00:21:31,870 just because you forgot to give me 481 00:21:32,001 --> 00:21:32,915 the "let's be friends" speech. 482 00:21:33,045 --> 00:21:34,960 Hey, can we drop that? 483 00:21:35,091 --> 00:21:38,529 I just think I'd like to get to know you better, that's all. 484 00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:40,096 You want me to open up? 485 00:21:41,445 --> 00:21:43,012 Would that make you happy? 486 00:21:43,142 --> 00:21:44,405 Make you feel like 487 00:21:44,535 --> 00:21:45,884 you did your good deed for the day? 488 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:49,540 Okay. Okay. 489 00:21:49,671 --> 00:21:52,369 But then you better plan on sticking around. 490 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,110 Because I'm not standing here alone 491 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,330 with my insides on the floor, while you walk out 492 00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:58,462 feeling you did the poor fat girl some big favor 493 00:21:58,593 --> 00:22:00,334 by helping her get in touch with her feelings. 494 00:22:02,901 --> 00:22:04,207 You want to be a hero? 495 00:22:04,338 --> 00:22:05,513 Then be prepared to stick around 496 00:22:05,643 --> 00:22:07,471 for the rest of the war, okay? 497 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:10,779 Maybe I will. 498 00:22:10,909 --> 00:22:12,476 But can we start slower-- 499 00:22:12,607 --> 00:22:14,217 like where we went to high school 500 00:22:14,348 --> 00:22:16,175 and then we'll work up to your insides on the floor? 501 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,662 Hey, Angela, I think we had a normal moment there. 502 00:22:26,969 --> 00:22:28,013 Huh? 503 00:22:30,929 --> 00:22:32,366 Well, listen, uh, you don't mind 504 00:22:32,496 --> 00:22:33,932 if I get a little clear 505 00:22:34,063 --> 00:22:36,370 on what we're trying to establish here. 506 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:37,632 It wouldn't make you nuts, would it? 507 00:22:37,762 --> 00:22:39,721 No, it would not make me nuts. 508 00:22:44,247 --> 00:22:45,291 So, uh... 509 00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:47,990 so, what it is, is, is... 510 00:22:49,513 --> 00:22:52,734 I could call you whenever I feel like it? 511 00:22:52,864 --> 00:22:55,214 If I need advice, I could call you? 512 00:22:55,345 --> 00:22:56,390 Yeah. 513 00:22:59,001 --> 00:23:02,700 Uh... if you need advice, you could call me? 514 00:23:02,831 --> 00:23:04,049 Yup. 515 00:23:07,313 --> 00:23:08,967 If we have something interesting happening 516 00:23:09,098 --> 00:23:10,708 we could call each other? 517 00:23:10,839 --> 00:23:12,754 Yeah. 518 00:23:12,884 --> 00:23:15,539 We could call just to shoot the breeze? 519 00:23:16,888 --> 00:23:17,889 Yeah. 520 00:23:19,238 --> 00:23:21,327 Yup. 521 00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:22,633 Or, uh... 522 00:23:24,722 --> 00:23:26,289 if I just need a hug? 523 00:23:43,132 --> 00:23:46,222 Uh, you know how long it's been since I cried? 524 00:23:46,352 --> 00:23:47,223 No. 525 00:23:47,353 --> 00:23:48,572 A half an hour. 526 00:24:02,064 --> 00:24:03,457 [theme music playing] 527 00:24:29,091 --> 00:24:30,701 [woman] Night, Mr. Walters. 528 00:24:30,832 --> 00:24:32,007 [grunts]