- Good evening - Good evening sir
I see the meaning of the word punctuality
Hasn't yet sunk in with certain members of our class
You see Max! I told you we'd be here before Professori
- Better sit down before he comes - Okay tokay
Good evening
How did you get in? Through the window?
You're late! Too busy drinking in the pub to notice the time?
We've not been in the pub, have we Max?
I hope you're all sitting comfortably.
Sure we've not
Look we're coming to the school
And we see this old lady trying to cross the road
That's right! She's very old
- And blind - Pushing a pram
An old blind lady - pushing a pram
Well, maybe she wasn't exactly blind
And maybe she wasn't exactly there either
Sure it's true
On Max's life, we have not been in the pub
- Honest - All right
Hey, you left your books in the pub
- Santa Maria - What's the matter?
Look behind you
Not been in the pub, eh?
Now I remember, we were there just for a minute
Sit down all of you
Why you not telling me teacher is behind me you italian macaroni?
Why you not look you spanish omelette
All right, sit down and be quiet
Teacher is right! You sit down and be quiet! Sit down!
That includes you Juan
- Por favore? - You heard
Sit down! I'm getting rather tired of this
continual habit of certain people being late
Seven thirty is the time class commences
And you should be all sitting at your desks ready to begin work
I shan't tell you again
In future, anyone who comes late will go straight home
Good evening everybody
- You're late - Oh no
Look please, I'm being early
It's only twenty minutes past seven o'clock
Correction, It is twenty five minutes to the eight
That clock is not being right
And is my watch not being right also?
Yes please
Has it occured to you that your watch may be wrong?
Oh blimey, this watch is guaranteed never to be wrong
It is twenty one julies
- Jewels - Yes please
I am buying it today from market place
You bought that watch from a stall on the market?
Most definitely
The man is telling me it is a jolly good bargain
Twenty one julies and real gold case
Eighteen turnips
- Eighteen Carats - Sorry please
And how much did you pay
For this twenty one jewelled eighteen carat gold timepiece?
Two pounds fifty pence!
I think he saw you coming Ali
Most definitely! He was seeing me before I was seeing him
What I mean is, you were swindled
- Oh no - You can't buy a watch for two pounds fifty
But the man is telling me it is being so cheap
- Because it is bankruptured stock - Rupted
It's not going Ali
Perhaps it needs a wind up
There's nothing to wind up
It's empty
Oh blimey, I am being cheated
Excuse me please, I go to find the crooked man
- He won't be there now Ali - What about my money?
You'll just have to put it down to experience
Sit down! We've got a lot of work to do
How are you coming along?
Have you learnt any more English?
More English?
Yes, bloody foreigners
Well that's a start!
You will have to follow the lesson as best as you can
And I will explain later
Do you understand?
Never mind! Sit down an d do your best
Tonight we're going to look at sentence construction
Can anyone give me a definition of a sentence?
- Me please - Yes Su Lee
A sentence is a gloup of words that makes comprete sense
- Very good - For example
- Communism is only tlue way of rife - Thank you
Or Capitarists are enemies of peace roving people
- Or China... - I think you've made your point Su Lee
Now a sentence contains eight parts of speech
Can anybody tell me what they are! Come along now
- Noun - Good, excellent
- Pronoun - Very good
Why am I very good and she is excellent
All right, you're both excellent!
Anybody else?
- Verb - Good
- Adverb - Well done
- Adjective - Yes
- Prepositiono - Goodo... Good
- Conjunction - One more
Come along... doesn't anybody know what the other one is
An interjection
Can somebody tell me what an interjection is?
- Si senor - Yes Juan?
- Niddle - Niddle?
Si, like doctor
Interjection
- No Juan, that's injection - It's alright
An interjection is a word put into a sentence
To express some emotion, such as oh, ah, hush
We will now construct a sentence starting with a noun
Ranjeet, could you give me a noun please
Idiot
Idiot? Surely you could have said something else
I could have said Muslim
Don't you be insulting me
That'll do
Ranjeet, you're here to learn English!
Kindly keep your personal prejudices to yourself
- A thousand apologies - Give me a noun please
- A waiter - A waiter, good
Now Max, an adjective
Come along!
Ranjeet gave us a noun, waiter, describe him
- Old, tall, short, thin - how do I know? I never met him
Max, we're not talking about an actual waiter
He's part time waiter
We're trying to construct a sentence
Ranjeet gave us a noun... waiter
I want you to give me an adjective that describes him
- Hockay, an old waiter - Old waiter
- With a moustache - Just old will do
Hockay
We'll put a definite article in
The old waiter
Now we need a verb! Something he was doing
- Danielle - Making love
Can't you think of something better he could have been doing?
There is nothing better than making love
Something more appropriate to a waiter in a restaurant
Bon alors! He served
He served, good! The old waiter served... Now we need an adverb
- Taro - Ah so
An adverb please modifying the verb served
- Carefully - Good
Served carefully! Now can anyone add anything to that?
The old waiter carefully served... fish and chips
- Two more nouns and a conjunction - Ockay
The old waiter carefully served two more nouns and a conjunction
You were right first time Giovanni
- Mister Brown - Yes Sid, what is it?
There's a geezer out here looking for Miss Courtney
What's that got to do with me?
I can't find her! Can you have a word with him?
Oh very well
I want you to complete the sentence using an
interjection, a preposition and a pronoun
I'll be back in a minute
This is him
Are you Miss Coutney?
Do I look like Miss Courtney?
- I asked to see Miss Courtney - Who are you?
My name is F... fofbes F... fortescue
- Pardon? - F... forbes F... fortescue
J... jeremy B... brown
- I'm an ATC - I'm a BA Oxen
- My card - You are an Assistant Town Clerk
- Quite so - I see
- Miss Courtney - Mr. Brown
Is this another one of your foreign students?
He's an ATC
I don't care what nationality he is! It's time you were in the classroom
Madame, my name is F... forbes F... fortescue
- He's hyphenated - How unfortunate
I'm here from the Town Hall! We've had some news from the Palace
- Victoria or Crystal? - Buckingham
I'm here in connection with the Royal visit to the borough next week
As the Duke himself laid the foundation stone of this building
It has been suggested that their Royal
Highnesses pay a brief visit to your school
The Queen, and Prince Philip are coming here?
- Next Tuesday - Did you hear that Mr. Brown?
They're coming here, the two of them together, in person! Him and her
Calm down Miss Courtney
- Don't over-excite yourself - Who's getting overexcited?
I'm perfectly calm about the whole thing
I've seen some strange things on toilet doors
Boys and girls, lads and lasses, pointers and setters
But I've never seen Dukes and Queens
- It's not for them to use - What is it for then?
It's Miss Courtney's idea
She didn't wanna offend the Royal family by letting them see toilet doors
So I've done the best thing I've disguised them
- Very diplomatic - No, just a waste of time Mr. Brown
They must have loos in Buckingham Palace
Absolutely! Is the old battleaxe in yet?
The old battleaxe is here
I wasn't meaning you Miss Courtney
- I trust you were not referring to her Majesty - Oh no
I was referring to Gladys, the tea lady
- Here - What's this for?
Well it's not for sticking in your buttonhole!
It's to wave at the Royal Couple
- Are you going to change? - Into what?
You surely don't intend to greet
out distinguished guests in thatjacket
Haven't you anything a little more formal?
I've got a black tie I wear for funerals
Here
- That's better - I feel as if I'm going to a cup final
Sidney, go and sweep the schoolyard
- I've swept it once - Well sweep it again
You wouldn't want me to go down on
my hands and knees and scrub it, would you?
Don't be ridiculous! It wouldn't dry before they arrived
I think I'll go and polish the silver
What silver?
I brought my silver tea set in case they wanted a drink
Perhaps the Duke prefer a trot of rum, being an ex-naval man
I never thought of that
He'll have to make do with sherry
Shall I ask Gladys to make up a few ham rolls
In case they're a bit peckish
Ham rolls?
You can't give royalty Ham rolls
This is a very special occasion! Tell her to open a tin of salmon
- They won't want anything to eat - Better to be prepared
I wonder if we should have got a red carpet
Why don't you go the whole hog
And ask the music class to play the National Anthem as they enter!
This is supposed to be an informal visit
I don't think you're approaching this
special occasion with the proper attitude
- And I think you're being carried away - Nonsense
This is an opportunity for all the staff and students
To show their loyalty and devotion to our sovereign
It's up to the entire school to make a good impression
One never knows where it may lead
The New Year's Honours list isn't far away
- Honour's list? - Yes
- A knighthood could be within your grasp - A knighthood
Mr. Jeremy Brown
Arise Sir Jeremy
- Mr. Brown - Yes your Majesty?
- I beg your pardon - Sorry, I thought you were the Queen
- Have you been drinking? - No, just day dreaming
Well you'd better wake up
They are due to arrive in half an hour
- Now where are your students? - In the cloakroom changing
- Changing? - Yes
I insisted on wearing the natural costumes
Gladys! Gladlys, are you there?
What?
Blood and thunder! It's Rule Brittania
- Don't you like it? - What?
- Don't you like it? - Very patriotic
I don't know whether to salute you or run you up a flagpole
- I've got a surprise for you - Yeah
- Look - Oh my God
That should surprise the Duke
Surprise him! Lt'll paralyse him
You're supposed to courtesy not flash him your underwear
Any of my students... Good heavens
Don't say anything otherwise she'll show you her knickers
They will come up here , won't they?
- Yes, I expect so Gladys - I do hope so
I think Prince Philips's lovely and I've always been fond of sailors
Don't forget, he belongs to the Queen
Have you seen any of my students?
They're still changing
- Go and tell them to hurry up Sid - All right
I'd better get tidied up too!
The duke might want to inspect my utensils
Ready for your inspection Sir
Carry on Sid
Miss China
Is that your National Costume?
This is uniform of People's army of
Ribelation as plesclibed by Chairman Mao
You dont rike it?
I feel it lacks a certain finish
A belt of ammunition and a couple of hand grenades
Miss India
Very nice Jamila
It is Jamila, isn't it?
Miss Germany
- What you think? - Very teutonic
Miss Sweden
- Beautiful yes? - Beautiful very
- And the clothes too? - I was referring to the clothes
Miss France
What do you think?
- Tre's belle - Merci che'ri
Miss Greece
- Don't take the mickey - Sorry! Mr. Greece
- Are you comfortable in that Max? - It's a bit cold boss
Mr. Pakistani
God Bless Queen Elizabeth not forgetting the Duke of Edinberg
- The Duke of Edingburgh - Him also
Italy
Are you representing Italy or the Mafia?
I represent Sicile!
Mr. Punjab
- Most endearing Ranjeet - Thank you very much
Mr. Hungary
- Very good Zoltan - Thank you
Mr. Japan
- Nankipoo I presume - Ah so
And last but not least Mr. Spain
- Professori, there still nobody coming - Any minute now
Come on in your places everyone
Where's Zoltan?
- He's gone to try and find the toilet - That may take him a while
I'd like to stress that this visit is informal
So her majesty may not necessarily come into this classroom
You mustn't be too disappointed if she doesn't
But if she does, I want you all to behave
just as if she weren't here, understand?
In view of the occasion, it would seem appropriate
To tell you a little of the history of our British Kings and Queens
It all started with the Norman Conquests
I have seen that on the television! Very funny English play
I'm referring to the actual invasion of England by William of Normandy
- It was 1066 - Wrong
I beg your pardon
1066... Maybe 1056
- It was 1066 - No, cannot be 1066
Sixty minutes in one hour
1066 is six minutes past eleven
- 1066 was the year - It's all right
William of Normandy, by the way does anybody know...
What other name he was known by? William the...
- Concurer - Conqueror
Hokay
He was succeeded by his third son William Rufus the Red King
Oh blimey, you are having a Communist King
No, he was called the Red King because of his red hair
Jolly good
William Rufus died in 1100 after being struck by an arrow in the woods
Maybe it was Robin the Hood
Robin the hood
Robin Hood wasn't born then! He was in the Middle ages
How can he be middle ages if he is not yet being born?
Never mind about Robin Hood, alright?
Oh yes, very colourful
Sorry to interrupt Mr. Brown but they will here in any moment now
And I thought it would be rather nice if one of
your students present this to her Majesty
I'll do that
It is usual for the bouquet to be presented by a lady
With that skirt, who's gonna know the difference?
Come outside and I'll show you
Sit down, who do you suggest Miss Courtney?
How about Jamila?
Jamila darling, would you come here?
Anf for goodness sake girl, get rid of that knitting
Now Jamila!
I want you to wait with me in the hall until her Majesties arrive
And then you can present this to the queen
You courtesy first and then you give it to her
Now let's try it
I'm the Queen
You are Miss Courtney
No, no, no, Jamila! Come on, she's just pretending
I am understand
Here you are Queenie!
You don't speak until you're spoken
to and then you address her as Ma'am!
Now let's try again
Ah, there you are
Superintendant, how soon the Royal Couple are here?
- They are not coming - What?
We've had to rearrange the schedule
They're going straight from the hospital to the Town Hall
We're cutting out their visit to the school
- I'd better tell Miss Courtney! - There is no time!
You must come with me now! You men, follow me
- Excuse me - Please
My name is Mrs Baxter
And my Husband has just joined your woodwork class
Do you think I could have a word with him
- Please Sid - No you can't
Blimey, it's Her!
Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! Don't go away
Miss Courtney, Mister Brown! She's here, she's arrived, she's outside
She can't be
She must have come in by the back entrance
But don't leave her standing outside Sidney! Show her in
So pleased to meet you Ma'am! Where is your husband?
He's in the woodwork class
I do hope we shall meet him later on
This is Mr. Brown our English teacher
- How do you do? - Ma'am
Jamila
How kind!
In this class, we are endeavoring to teach English to foreign students
- Excuse me Miss Courtney - Don't interrupt Mr. Brown
- I think you should know... - Mr. Brown
Alright, please yourself
- Would you care for a cup of tea? - If it isn't too much trouble
No trouble at all
You must come round and have a cup of tea
Come on Ranjeet, it's your turn.
I'm thinking what I'm going to be doing.
You have been thinking for five minutes.
Patience
We are playing scrabblo not patience.
- What do you want Su Lee? - 18
okay, here we go.
18.19.20.
Full cycle to win.
Very good. Bravo.
Right. It's your turn now Zoltan.
Hey. Attention. Zoltan's turn.
It's all right. You throw
I'm no bad. What you want
5.
- You are getting better. - Yes?
- You are starting to hit the board. - Good.
What happened?
You are supposed to throw it forward not to the backwards.
Where is it?
It's alright. I see it.
Oh me.
It's a good thing you were wearing a
turban Ranjeet otherwise it would
have gone straight through your head.
Oh, blimey! You wouldn't have felt it.
You will feel my first in a moment.
Come on Ranjeet.
I'm still thinking.
Yeah, there are slow thinkers.
Shut up man.
We must have time limito. Come.
Oh, I'm getting a good one. Sugar.
No goodo.
Quel idiot! Sugar is not spelled S-H-U-G-A-R.
I think you are mistaken.
You damn fool. Everybody know sugar is spelled with two Gs.
We win! You want game juan?
We no have time. Mr. Brown he will be here pretty soon!
You frighten you lose?
I bet you blind folded.
Let's see you get double the top with Your eyes closed.
Easy. Easy.
Closed.
One, two,
Jamila.
Who did this?
Me. I was trying to get that in top.
Looks like you get it in the bottom.
Are you hurt Sid?
Huh?
Are you hurt?
You bend down and you'll find out.
- What is going on in here? - Not a thing.
- A dart game. - I beg your pardon.
Sid was us telling how he used to dart playing.
Well in future Sidney, kindly remember that the students have more important
things to do, did you get my point?
Yeah, and his point as well.
- Good heavens! - What's the matter?
This door is full of holes.
Maybe it's a wooden worm.
Wood warm.
Yeah, it's alright.
Yes. I just had a telephone call from Mr. Brown.
He says he Would be along later.
Apparently, he is tied up at his flat.
Oh, blimey. Shouldn't we be going to untie him?
I was speaking metaphorically.
It is better you speako English.
Silence. Now Mr. Brown may put up With
you stupid remarks but I assure you
Will find me a very different kettle of fish.
Excuse me please, what is mean kettle of fish?
You'll find out. Now, until Mr. Brown
Arrives, I intend to find out what sort of progress you are making.
You, how are you doing?
How are you doing?
Very pleased, thank you. How are You doing?
I'm inquiring about your English.
Your English
No, no, Hungarian.
You're hopeless.
No, no, look Hungarian.
Sit down.
Thank you.
You. Give me the present of the verb to move.
You know it not?
Well, of course I know it.
Oh good, then you can me tell?
It is not my place to tell you anything.
Okay, then you can tell me not.
- You! - Yes, signiora.
What is a comma?
Por favore.
What is a comma?
Comma is when you are unconscious.
That's a comma. A comma is a Punctuation mark.
Oh, it's alright.
I don't think Mr. Brown is teaching you anything.
Master is teaching us very much English.
When I am arrived, not one body is understand
me, now everybody is understand every thing I am speak.
I see. Well, then in that case, if someone
will stop you in the street and ask you the time
what would you say?
That's wouldn't help them!
Oh yes, in my street, it's all Indian peoples.
Silence. You!
Yes please.
Give ma a collective noun for a collection of ants.
Aunties.
Not aunts. Ants. Insects. What is a lot of ants?
I don't use that.
Have you never heard of swarm?
Yes please. England call Pakistan a swarm.
Silence.
Oh sorry I'm late Miss Courtney.
So am I! I have just been seeing how your students are getting on.
- Well, I think they're progressing. - Yes, but in which direction?
What have you been saying?
Nothing, she is asking some questions and we are telling
her some answers.
Well, that explains it.
Are you going away?
Only for one night. I'm having my flat painted that's why I can't sleep there.
You're having your bed painted also?
No, just I can't stand the smell of fresh glass paint.
Where would you be sleeping tonight?
I'll probably stay at the YMCA.
Hey, much better that the YWCA.
I suppose any of you have a spare room, do you?
It would give me much pleasure for you
to Share my humble house, but unfortunately,
my cousin and his family and also his
cousin and his family are staying with me.
You've got two families both living in one house?
Two families both living in one room.
You are very welcome to come and Stay with me.
Have you got a spare room?
No. But I have a very big bed.
Well, thank you for the offer but I thing it'd better be in the YMCA.
- You can with me stay. - Don't tell me you've got a very big bed also?
No. I have a small bed, better much.
Okay, you stay with us.
Who's Huss? Us?
Me and Giovanni.
Sure we've got a room.
I didn't know you share a flat.
Yeah, I had to leave my other place.
I had a big fight with the neighbor because of the noise.
What noise?
Every night after mid night guitar practice For one hour.
- Surely you can ask them to stop. - No.
- Why not? - It's me who practice the guitar.
And you still practice the guitar, do you?
- No, finish guitar. - Thanks goodness for that.
Now I practice the drums.
What?
That's ajoke. I don't practice anything. What do you say?
- Will you stay with us? - Well, I am
Okay, you stay. Hey, why don't we have a party.
That's a good idea. Everybody comes.
I'll bring a bottle.
Yeah, make it sure it's not empty.
I'll bottle bring.
We'll get us a pizza.
Chicken curry.
Fried rice.
Noodles.
Salata.
Guiash.
German sausage.
Duck.
We'll give you a night you'll never forget.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Well, come in professor.
Oh, thank you.
This is the hall, this is the kitchen, this is
my bedroom, Max's bedroom, this is the Living room, and this
And that's my bedroom.
No, that's the bathroom.
Oh, where am I sleeping?
You sleep here on the sofa.
Sure, it's very comfortable.
What was that?
What was what?
That awful noise.
It's only a train.
Only a train! This is worse then the Waiting room of waterloo station.
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
They only run every ten minutes After rush hour finish.
I'll never get to sleep through all that noise.
We'll give you cotton ball to put in your ears.
Well, I would need it.
Hey, we better go get the drinks. You wanna come with us professor?
Well actually I'd like a bath if that's alright with you?
Okay, we'll be back in 10 minutes.
I left them here on the table.
Where is professor?
- Well he said he was going to have a bath. - - Okay, come on. Alright.
Just a moment.
Hello! Max! Giovanni! Anybody there?
The sergeant! Yes madame! A burgaler. Don't panic.
Stay where you are and I'll send a police car around right way.
- He's trying to pick next door's lock. - Don't worry, I'll sort him out.
Oh, I do hope this sort of thing doesn't happen often.
I only moved in here yesterday.
Stand back, I'm going out there. George, you stay with Mrs. Partridge.
Alright, come quietly.
- Oh, look you're making a mistake. - Could be.
No but I'm staying here with a friend.
What's the address?
I don't know. I've never been here before, you see?
I see.
Look there's a perfectly simple explanation
Well, why don't we come down to the station
And tell it to the perfectly simple sergeant.
End of part one
Hey, the professor is not out here.
He is not in the bathroom.
Well, he's not out the either.
Maybe he decided to sleep at YMCA after all.
No, his bag is still there.
He said he was gonna have a bath.
Oh blimey, maybe he has gone down the plug hole.
A Japanese philosopher has said: When the person
is not here, he must be somewhere else.
We know he's somewhere else, but somewhere where?
Hey, what's the matter?
It's Mr. Brown.
- What about Mr. Brown? - He's gone.
Gona?
Ten minutes he was here, now he's gone?
He is not dead, he is uanished.
- Alright, what's your name? - Jeremy Brown.
- Brown? - Yes.
I suppose that'll make a change from a smithor
Jones. Now, according to P.C. Barnes,
- you were caught breaking and entering. - I was not breaking and entering.
- Were you picking the lock? - Yes, but
- Do you live there? - No, but
Charge: Breaking and entering.
Look, you're making a terrible mistake.
That's what criminals said.
I demand to see my lawyer.
Sid, they've not nabbed you tonight as well.
Is he one of you accomplicies?
No, I know him. He can voter for me.
He is in a state he ever can't vote for his own mother.
- What has he done Barnes? - Drunk and disorderly.
- Pardon? - Drunk and disorderly.
So am I.
Sergeant, he is the care taker at the school where I teach.
He will tell you who am I.
You, do you know this man?
He's a cop.
Sid, it's me, look! Tell the sergeant who I am.
Charlie Frenzbaf.
What?
Never tell him your own name son.
Oh, take him away. Bring him back when he's sober.
I'll be your sweet heart.
Now, Mr. Brown or Frenzbaf or whatever you call yourself
- Brown - Professor
Max! Giovanni! Thank goodness you're here. Look, tell
this, tell this sergeant who am I.
He's Mr. Jeremy Brown.
He teach us to speak the English.
Do you live in 6 Windsor road?
Sure we do. What happened? Where have you been?
Well, I've got locked out on your balcony and your
and your Public spirited neighbor thought I was
a burgular and called the police.
So you were telling the truth, hum?
And I have a good mind to see you for false arrest.
If you do so, there'll be a charge of asault and battery.
I haven't asaulted anyone.
No, but I should go now before I do.
Hey, everybody. We found Mr. Brown.
Now we all have a party.
Hey where is all the food?
We saved you a piece of quiche.
Oh good.
Blimey, actually I can do with the drink.
No drink.
No drop?
Si! One drop!
Don't worry professor. I'll fix everything for us.
Max, go.
Okay, I'll go get some beer.
Then we'll all have a party.
No, not all of us. I've made a date with Danielle.
We are going to have a dance.
Enjoy your selves.
We must also be go.
Yes
Master, Ali will let me watch his television.
Yes, we don't want to Starkers and Cruch.
Husky and Hunsh.
Jolly good. See you at school time.
Bye everybody.
Thousands apologies.
Why? What have you done?
Nothing. It's what time are you going to be doing?
What are you going to be doing?
Take Ingrid for a show.
We're going to see Sweedish film.
It's being all about Sweedish Nopal.
I think you mean Noble.
That is correct. You'll be excusing us please!
Yeah, certainly. Have a good night.
Don't tell me you two are going to the pictures too!
No, not so. See Lee and me go to bedo
Not together, I'm going home to read a little red book.
I go sleep home.
Too much saki.
Hope you had a pleasant night.
That's going to be a sleeping party.
Not to worry. Now we got plenty of beer for five.
You have even more for three.
Oh not you too Anna.
Yeah, us too. I help Zoltan mid home walk.
Good morning.
Good night.
Alright then, we are three.
Okay everybody hey, where is everybody?
- They all went out. - We've got such nice friends.
Hey, why don't we go down to the disco?
Yes, it's a good idea. And we will pick up a couple of birds.
I don't want to pick up a couple of birds.
Professor is right. We don't want to
pick up a couple of birds,
we'd pick up three birds. One each.
Now you two go on.
Why don't you want to come with us?
Well, I feel tired and wounded. I think I'll just turn in for the night.
You sure now?
Yeah, but don't let that stop you from going.
Okay.
I'll just get ready for bed.
And you'll find some blankets in the cupboard
Any cotton balls?
In the bathroom.
Thank you, see you tomorrow.
Why is he shouting?
I don't know.
You want a beer before we go?
Sure!
It's stuffy in here! That's better.
Nice party!
Fantastic. You know Max? I really fancy that Ingrid.
Yeah, you fancy anyone.
That's not true, is it? I don't fancy you.
Hey, our lights just gone out.
Mr. Brown must wanting to sleep.
We better go to the disco.
Okay.
It's locked.
Hey, professor.
The house was very quiet, nothing could be
heard. Yet the old lady could almost feel a
sense of heaving. She listened, the silence was
opressive. Suddenly there was a knock at the
window.
Yes, sergeant. Oh, it's not you again maam.
Are you sure it's not the same fellow? There are
two fellows? Look, I suggest you just sit there and
wait, go around and see a neighbor and wait till
the constable arrives, okay?
Coming!
Oh please excuse me, the front door was open. I did knock.
Oh sorry, I was a sleep.
There are burglars on my balcony.
Are you sure?
Yes, I saw their evil looks. They might be opening my
doors now.
The front window wasn't locked.
Oh I see alright leave it with me. I'll go see what they're up to.
Do be careful!
Yes!
What are we going to do?
Break the window.
Max! Giovanni! What are you doing here?
You locked us out.
Yeah, we knocked on the window next door
and the woman screamed and ran away.
She thought you were burglars.
Come on, get inside.
Just a moment. I'll go get the beer.
No, no, no. I'll go get it. You stay here.
Alright. Turn around.
Now are you sure you don't mind me staying
Here for the night?
Not at all sir. I think it will be safer for both
Right. At least I'll get some sleep.
Good night sir!
Good night.
Who's that?
It's you Mr. Brown. Let's sing a song!
Suelly if you wish to argue at least argue in English
Asso
- Making people slavery - You are a stupid capitalist
Come on, come on, sully and taro it is time for you
to live together in peaceful - I always try in peace
Well let's start peace in classroom, shall
we In future no more ideological arguments
Are you welling to make truce taro
Yes I apologize
Bonsoir
Hey what is happening?
Taro and sully have decided to live together in harmony
Is that like you begin sin?
No Danielle we are making truco
A trousseau you are getting married When is the happy day
Not trousseau, truco
Taro and sully have decided to have no more political arguments
Oh d'accord
Meanwhile tell me Danielle did you
do anything exciting over the weekend
- No did you? - No
What a pity
You are not alone who was not being excited I was not more being excited
Together we could have been very excited
Yes sure we could
Good evening Mr. Brown
O Ali what have you been doing with yourself over the weekend
Oh blame me Saturday I went to the palace
of Buckingham to see her majesty the queen,
but she was not in
Then I am going to see the Prime Minister Mr. Callagas
- Callahan - Yes please he was also not in
Then I am going to see the Nurcils boom
I hope he was in
- Oh no I did not see him either - Come on sit down
- Buena sera - ah Juan
- si signior - a got a bone to speak with you
- chicken bone - no a bone of contention
last week asked you to write how a verb
is word that denote an accent state 20 times
ha right, in the home book here it is
a verb is a word that denote an accent of state twenty times
yea, you are right
I sometimes wonder if you are as quiet as stupid as you look
- Por favor - Never mind
Good evening Good night
- No good night, good evening - Good evening she teaches me plenty words
Did you have a nice weekend Anna
- Yeah, I enjoyed myself with the fairies
- Fairy? It is part of your garden
- No it is on the rivers thems - Oh Fairies
- Yes fairies - Good evening
Good evening master
Went shopping randgi We have been in the funny park
I am wining gift on the shooting right wood for only twenty pieces
You must be hitting the bulls eye
Oh no I hit the honor man And they gave me prizes to go away
And there we had ice cream and doughnut and lemonade, and hotty dogs
- Then we went up and down on the top
- Ho I wonder if you are not violently sick
- We were - Twice
While i'm walking the register to Miss Cortny,
would you turn to the page twenty seven please,
yes sentence construction again
- Enter - I brought your tea
- Thank you - Are you alright
Would you like two tickets for the lady circus dance
Oh I wouldn''t mind I like dancing
- 5 dollars each - No thanks
Yeah as member I am suppose to sell six tickets
Oh I am sure you will get red of them
- Not a that price - It is far too expensive for a supper dance
Oh yeh last year I managed to get two soft rose
Who else do you know fool enough to
buy sausage roses for 2 past 50 a time
Ah, M.r. Brown come in we just talking about you
- Everything in ok gladys - Yes alright Miss Cortny
Good luck
- What does she mean with good luck
- Nothing too, now Mr. Brown do sit down
- I just walked the register book - Well thank you very much,
- but there is no need to rush away Sit down
- Yeah but my students will be waiting
I am sure your students will do very
well Would care joining me for a cup of tea
- Yes thank you - gladys and I were just talking about you,
We were saying how Ionely your life must be I told her you live alone,
With nothing to do in evening I mean for example what do you do after class
- Well nothing particular - Good
- Would you like to go to dance - Oh yeah
With you?
I am afraid not Mr. Brown But don''t be disappointed I shall be there
But I already have my own escort
Now the ladies circuses are holding a dance party I have two spare tickets
And of course I have immediately thoughts of you You do dance
- Well a little but I am no jean kelly - That's splendid, that settled
- Thank you it is very good to think about me - Not at all dear boy
- Just give me the money later - Yes all right, money
For the tickets, five pounds each
Five... You didn't say tomorrow night did you
- Yes - Oh dear what a pity
- What pity Mr Brown I have to go to the laundry To wash my shirt
- How unfortunate - any other night but tomorrow wouldn't be fine
But of course you do not have to go to the laundry
- Oh yes I do I do - What you mean we better forget about it
Yes
I am not the sort of person to make a pressure on anyone
Oh no am sure you are not
Neither forcing anyone to do anything they don''t want to
Very true
By the way, as we are having lunch next week with the Area Education Officer
I expect you want to get on
Really
The right work could lead to a full time job
- Oh that would be marvellous - Yes, pity about the tickets
- ten pounds you said - You changed your mind
how nice
sorry, right now pay attention tonight, we are going to play a little game
Prontruth
- Not a card game max
- Yeah I know good game, Postman snookers
Not this sort of game either giovani
This is a verbal exercise help you to improve
your English And test your imagination
Blame me randgi is not having a chance
What you are going to do is to try to tell a continuing story
Lets say we could for example start with once upon a time
There was a man called Arthur and he was a bus driver
the next person will add something more about arthur, and so on
soon we are going to start it, we start with you juan
I don''t know this man arthur
Arthur is fictitious,
But you say he is a bus driver
- It is a make believe, I make him up - Imaginerio
I want you to make up the story using all your imagination
I understand, once upon a times, there was a man called nickelus
- It is not quite right - No
Once upon a time, there was a woman called nickleus
It is pronounced Nicholas,
It's alright, once upon a time there was a man called Nicholas
- He was a poster man - Postman
- No no no - Poster man
Juan a man who delivers letters is called a postman
A man who sticks poster is called poster man
Ah bill sticker
No no, his name Nicholas
- Fine, fine juan - Alright
Right your turn Ingred tell us more about Nicholas Who is sticking up posters,
One man he is on the ladder look the widow
- What is the widow doing up his the ladder
- When he opened the door he sees 4 widows
One down the widow and the fridge widow,
- You mean windows - Oh sorry the man is a husband
Good, good right Your turn Hauter
- Please continue the story - Bulchana
We are making of a story, Understand story
Story
Oh I know very good story About Aladdin and his wonder limpe
- This is another story about Nicholas - Ah merry Christmas,
- What - Santa Nicholas comes every year
Oh yes this is another Nicholas, not the
same Nickolas and he is on the ladder
Ladder yes
That's when he sees trough the windows a burglar, rubber
Use your imagination, and tell us what happens next
He sends for ambulance
- Why does he send for an ambulance - He falls of ladder
- Good imagination no, - Yes
Thank you, all right anna let see what you can do with this story
The burglar see the ambulance thinks it is the police
So he climbed back out of the window, up the fire scale onto the roofs
Very Good Max carry on
There is no way out He cant go up, he cant go down
The only way he can go is across It is a big across, so he get ready
He runs he jumps, And he misses it
But it is going to be a very short story Ah no now it is my turn
He doesn''t kill him self because he jumps on two big lorry full of how do you say the cut grass
- The cut grass - Hey
You are not hearing very well
You are not understanding very well The cut grass is called hay
No Hoow, Hay
- So the hay is saving his life - Good well done Danielle
Right giovani your turn
Not the cuppers are coming The burglar panics then he sees a church
So he goes and nock on the door A priest he hears this knocking so he come
along and open the door
The burglar he saying father I am in a big trouble,
So the priest say come in to the church my son And I will give you sanctuary
Ok says the burglar and the thank youary much
Good genius, carry on randgi Meanwhile the man on his ladder,
he is telling the police
That he is not a poster sticker upper
man But a secret agent, and the burglar man
is being a Russian spy
Oh that is end up with good imagination
- Taro - Asso
Russian man knocko priesto on heado, and chango clotho to escapo
The plot thickens right Jamilah
But the priest is been recovered end crawl to be the judgment
Russian finally see him and tong shout at him
As priest is falling he is pull the bell rope Ting tong
Very good Ali
Yes please, making this thinking, hello,
hello there is very strange hearing bells
When the judge enter, he is go into the church,
and finding the Russian spy up the bell
Come down with your hands up, you are tucked,
The dirty Russian rat,
Oh good, well sully I don''t suppose that you can add too much to all of that
Oh yes I can
Very dignit Russian agent plays karate over powered British agent
Run outside where helicopter waiting to take him to safety,
flies of the running glass
very good, it is not exactly the story of MacLean but well done everyone
excuse me Mr. Brown the party suit for tonight, is black tie
- oh dear what a pity - yes Mr. Brown
- oh never mind - Good
- you are dancing going - Yes
- with Miss Cortny - no. No she sold me the tickets
you have more then one ticket
- two - then you must some one else take
yes, it seems a very logical assumption
I like very much dancing
And me like dancing
I would love to be with you on the floor
I am no can dance but I am very happy if you can teach me master
What about you sully
Aren''t you eligible for the other ticket too
Not me, western dancing of wealthy and definite
are not in consideration by Chinese public
Yeah now it depend on Anna Danielle and Ingrid
Excuse please why not taking me?
I can't dance with you Ali
On no I am thinking you could be picking a couple of nice
Pieces of skirt, it is a good chance
Well Ali I think it is the lady circle, I think the tickets are sold
It is a narrow place it cant be further
But, Not to me, because I like to dance in the old fashion way
And blenda winto my blackoto
Oh blame me
How can we see a black bottom when she is white
It is a dance Ali
Jelly good
How about you anna do you wanna go to the old time
Germans are good in everything but especially In military two step
Oh please take me to dance
He much prefer to take me
Do not you Mr. Brown
Mr. Brown must decide for himself
There is nothing to decide Anna
Actually I think you should decide among yourselves
Other wise it might result as I am guilty in favoritism
Now it is almost tea time, so I suggest you go up to the cantina
And decide among yourself which one of you girls is coming
To the party with me tomorrow
All right
Hey are not you going up for coffee
No I cant
Ahh
Just a minute gladys
Yes
How is your old time gladys
Oh you mean my old man, he is shocking
No, old time dancing
Oh so she let you buy a ticket then
Black mail more be the right word
Are you good in the old time
I should say so, I was noted for the Mallita
Really, in that case you are just the woman I need
Oh that is nice Yeah I am afraid my past sound not quite
what it should be
Well I might not no the technical words, but I can show you the steps,
now
yes you got to be alright tomorrow night don''t you
well look, you owe my hand, and I LA. La. La ready
- yes - 0go to the left
la la la la
back lalallallala
to this way
back
lalalallal right
sorry Miss Cortny, we were practicing the Mallita
well I think you should find out how you do it
- I'll have another cup of tea - Certainly Miss Cortney
- Who're you taking to the dance? - I haven't exactly decided yet
- I don't believe it - It's true, he's taking me to the dance
He just asked me
Right to your place
Let's ask Mr. Brown
Perhaps he has a mother complex
- what are you talking about - Your choice of partner to the dance
Well, I haven't chosen a partner for the dance
We did, Anna is the winner
Untill Gladys told us that you've asked her
- I haven't asked Galdys - That's what she's telling everybody
Rediculous, there's obviously some misunderstanding
And I'm definitely taking you to the dance tomorrow tonight
Don't worry, I'll sort it out with Gladys, i'll have a word with her
Gladys, just the person I want
yes Mr. Brown?
It's about the dance tomorrow night
I know what are you going to say
- You do? - Yes, not to worry, he wont mind
- Who won't mind? - My old man, he's not a big jelous
I've got something to say to you
Yes, and I've got something to say to you
I'll come streight to the point
This is the most wonderfull thing that's happened to me
In 40 years and I shall never forget tomorrow night as long as I live
I'm sorry what were you saying?
Nothing, it doesn't matter
So your're taknig Gladys then?
I don't know what I'm doing. It's hard to tell her, at the moment
I'm taking Gladys and anna
Ahh Mr. Brown have you decided yet who're you
taking to the dance tomorrow night?
- Not exactly - That's good
Because Dr Wilson just telephoned and he's unable to come
I'm sorry, I don't undestand
He was supposed to be my partner, now you have the honour
Congratulations my son, you've just got your hat trick
Blime! Lilian guish
- you like sid? - Very seductive
I borrowed it from Danielle
- Good evening Sydney - How do you do?
Do get up
When Mr. Brow arrives, I wish to see him
I'll tell him
You look like A dogs Dinner
They're all in. The three of them, they arrived
I would like to be in your shoes when they find out
With a bit of luck they won't find out
- What's all this? - You'll see
Enter
- Mr. Brown whatever have you done?
- Nothing, a slight accident, compound fracture
You cant possibly go to the dance like that?
I couldn't let you down, no, I insist
Consider it
- Well if you feel like that - Most certainely I do
That's very kind of you
- She didn't fall for it, did she? - Absolutely
Mr. Brown
- Compond fracture, I think you said - yes
It seems like a movable fracture to me
Pardon?
A moment ago it was in the other leg
How do... whats the matter?
Why are you dressed like that?
- Mr. Brown is taking me to the dance
- No, He's not, He's taking me
Mr. Brown?
Calm down everybody, there's a perfect simple solution
Which will keep everybody's honour Satisfied
- Thank you very much Anna - You're welcome
And now take your partners for the Galy Garden
Tha's my Dance Mr. Brown
When you Comes to the Valito, it's mine
Come along Mr. Brown and Smile
Enter! Enter
Did you say enter?
Did you ever think of getting a hearing aid Sidney?
I beg your pardon.
Oh never mind
I brought the stock room key back.
Oh, thank you. Don't forget it is the school concert this week.
Pardon.
The school concert.
Oh, I'll get all ready.
Good. I wonder what Mr. Brown's class is going to do.
Did he mention anything to you?
Oh no, he didn't. No, no. As a matter of fact
I don't think anyone will do anything.
That's non sense. Every class is expected to put on some sort of show.
But you tell Mr. Brown to come and see me at tea break.
Pardon?
Tea break
Oh, is it? I can do it. See you.
I would like your presence everyone. As you can
recall when last we met, I gave you each
for your homework a different task to do over the weekend.
Hope you have all done them.
Yes.
Good. I want you each in turn to stand up and give me a report
on your various activities, alright? Now who'd like to begin?
Me
We'll start at the back, shell we? With you Jamila.
Your homework was a visit to the cinema.
Would you like to tell us about the film you saw?
It was about the most beautiful top class Indian girl who is fell in love
with boy from bottom class.
Lower class.
But girl's father said no get married.
But father catched them and chopped off boy's legs. Later, father died.
One day, girl see a beggar man in the street.
Oh, it is her sweet heart! She cried. No legs, no matter! You be marry me.
Okay, he say.
I will go and be make myself look nice.
With no legs?
So he go. Girl, she cries and run after him, and
then a big motor car hit her and kill her
It was most miserable film and I enjoyed it very much.
Good, well done Jamila, very good. Taro?
Your homework was a visit to London Zoo. Tell us about it.
I arrive at London Zoo.
No, no Taro, no. London Zoo. Start again.
London Zoo. There are no os.
Oh, yes please. There are two Os in London and two Os
in Zoo.
That's absolutely correct Ali, but I'm refering to the ends of the words
alright? Now carry on taro, but do try and get out of the habit
of ending everyother word in O
I try.
Went first to see buffal.
Bufful?
Like a big bull.
Oh, a buffalo.
Taro confusedo.
Words that end in O like buffalo or radio or vertigo, you pronounce the o.
But where there's no o, you don't have one, do you understand?
Yeso!
I give up. Alright Taro, thank you.
Now Ali!
Yes please.
I asked you to read one of Shakespeare's plays.
Were you able to do that?
Most definitely. I'm reading about Sherlock.
You mean Shaylock.
Yes please. The Merchant of Venica.
Oh, good. Carry on.
First of all, there is a lady Porta.
Her name was Portia.
Yes please. Now a man called Bassanio is fancying This lady Porta, Portia.
But he's broken.
Broken what?
Stony broken, no money.
You mean broke. Carry on.
So he's going to see his friend Antonio. And saying,
''oh please be lending me 3.000 buckets.''
Duckets.
Sorry please. But Antonio was also broken
so he's going to shaylock the money lending man
and asking him to lend him the money.
Shaylock is agreed. But on one condition!
If in three months time he is not paying him back
the money, then Shaylock could cut off one pound of Antonio's fleshy.
Why is he wanting a pound of human flesh?
Might be one of them is cannon balls.
Cannibals.
Oh no, he is doing the because he is not liking Antonio.
Anyway, Antonio is in a bigger trouble. He wrecked all his chips.
Ships.
Ships. And he is not being able to Pay back the money. Now shaylock is
wanting his pound of flesh. But Lady Portia is pretending
to be Lawyer man. And she saying, ''Agreement was for one pound
of flesh and no drop of blood.''
Sheylock has had it.
How can he had it when he is not getting it?
You damn fool, you are not understanding the queen's English.
I know the queen is English. You think I'm stupid?
Most definitely.
You two sit down. Thank you Ali, very well done.
Right. Now Su lee
your task was a visit to Petticoat lane.
Petticoat lane very disappointing.
Why was that?
Not see one Petticoat.
Look, don't You find market places interesting?
Market places full of capitalistic traders selling merchandizes
To ignorant walking people in very high prices. General Moa Says...
Don't mind what general Moa says, thank you Su lee Well done.
Ran jeet, your task was a visit to High Gate Cemetry.
And I am finding it very interesting.
Good, then tell us all about it.
Firstly, I'm seeing the burying place of Carl Marx.
Ah, yes, the father of Communism.
But I'm not understanding which one he was.
I'm sorry I didn't understand.
Was he Chicco, Harpo, or Ralto?
Carl Marx was not one of the Marc's brothers.
Thousands apologies.
What else did you see?
I'm seeing many beautiful grey stones.
Graves stones.
That is correct. And some of them have written
on them beautiful words. I'm writing one down.
You are gone my dearest wife. Still I feel no pain
for I know at heaven's gate we will meet again.
What's the matter Giovanni?
I can't help it professor. He is so sad.
That poor, he was in love with his wife very much
Don't be sad! Husband is be very happy.
How do you know?
He dying the year after.
Oh, thanks goodness. I'm so happy for him.
And they are both being football fans.
How on earth do you know that?
He is having put on his stone: United forever.
That's meant Ranjeet he's being reunited with his wife in heaven.
Thousands appologies.
Yes, well thank you, well done. Good.
Right! Giovanni have you recovered sufficiently
to tell us about you visit to speakers' corner?
Now
Okay dockey. First, I taken the tube to Hyde Park. Then for
an hour, nothing.
What do you mean nothing?
No body was there.
What? Ten o'clock on a Sunday morning?
That's right.
That's strange. There's always people at speaker's corner every weekend.
I asked a police man why is there nobody here?
And I find out why there is nobody there.
Why was it that there was nobody there?
I was at the wrong corner.
Silence. Carry on Govanni.
Excuse me Mr. Brown.
Oh yes Mrs. Courtney.
What have you done about the concert?
Pardon?
Is everybody at the school going deaf?
I want to know what you have done about the concert?
Concert?
There has been a notice on the board for the past two weeks.
You haven't read it?
Mr. Brown has read it. He was discussing it with us before you came in.
Yes. Si!
Yes, I was!
Good. Then what are you going to do?
Well, I expect them all to be there.
Gentlemen I hope you will be there, but what I want to know is what your students'
contribution will be.
Contribution?
Yes. Perform?
Perdon signiora. It's going to be a surprise.
But I don't like surprises.
I want to be quite sure what they're going to do would be acceptable.
So I suggest that after tea break you and
your class can give me a preview of the intended
We helped you out pretty good, huh?
Yes, but not for very long.
Por farore!
We still have to think of something to do for this concert in less than half an hour.
Yes, you're right. With your brain, and our talent,
no problem! End of part one
To me!
No, over here!
Not you, me!
Right.
Okay.
I brought you a nice cup of tea Mr. Brown.
Oh, thank you Gladis.
There!
Thank you!
What are they all going to do for the Concert tonight?
The show thing that they are practicing outside now.
Oh, would you like me to do a bit.
A bit of what?
Singing. I was in the choir.
Jerusalem. Jerusalem, lift up your voice and sing!
Turn it up Gladis! You're girgling in the milk.
Don't you be so jealous Sid!
Do you like my voice Mr. Brown?
I think it's remarkable.
Thank you.
I could do your turn if you like.
You ''Sid''!
Yeah, watch this!
Oh, that's cool! Alright, come on! Lets start
Alright Mr. Brown!
Alright!
Alright, come along everybody. Good, good.
Jamila What are you doing?
Ah, good. Yes, good! Come along every body.
Miss Courtney will be here any minute.
I'm here now Mr. Brown!
Good, would you like to sit there Miss Courtney?
Thank you. I do hope I'm going to enjoy this.
So do I.
I wouldn't like to be embaressed infront of our distinguished guests.
No, no. What distinguished guests?
Quite a few members of the educational authority always
come to see our concerts.
I don't want a repitition of what happened last year.
What happened?
Mr. Jarvis's wood work students were quite awful.
They sang rugby songs out of tune. Mr. Jarvis still hasn't found
anotherjob.
How comforting. Would you all come out here when I introduce you?
I have a kind of program.
I shall stop you if there's anything I don't like.
Right. Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
Stop.
What's the matter?
This concert takes place in the afternoon.
Stop!
Now what was wrong with that?
Mr. Brown, by the time you and your class come out, the audience
will have been sitting on those hard chairs for one and a half hours.
I wouldn't mention anything about comfort if I were you.
Ah, right. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. The English as
A foreign language class is proud to present a pot pourri of music and laughter.
And to start us off, we have from Hungary ''Zoltan Szabo''.
Good evening everybody.
Good afternoon!
Ah, good afternoon! Hungarian magic!
Hungarian paper!
Second Hungarian magic.
Stop.
What? Don't you want to see Hungarian magic.
You don't think I even want first Hungarian magic.
Never mind Zoltan. That's very good. Sit down. Yes, alright.
And now from Italy, the irrepressible, Giovanni Cupello.
Grazie. For you, I'm gonna do some impersonations.
Okay, here we go! Hey, you wanna a nice piece of salame?
I've got a lovely piece for you.
And who is that supposed to be?
That's my butcher Antonio.
We have never heard of your butcher.
Maybe not, but if you had, it's very much like him.
Can you do and impressions of and well-know people?
Sure, I can. Jimmy Cagney. In a scene from the film
''Disaster on the fifth Avenue''
you dirty rat. Oh, you dirty, dirty rat! I'm going to fix you.
I haven't finished yet.
Well, Mr. Cagney sounds remarkable like you butcher.
And now from France, the delightful, Danielle.
Thank you!
Do you know any of the words Danielle?
I do not sing the words, I just dance to the music.
And what is all this ''off'' business?
That is when I'm taking off my clothes.
We can't have that sort of thing going on.
It is not going on, it is coming off.
Not in my school!
But I'm...
Yeah, well, thank you Danielle! Well-done Jolly good!
And now, from the mysterious east, we have to sing for you Taro Nagazumi.
I sing for you a traditional Japanese song calledo a ''Warrior's Lamento.''
Stop.
Why you tell me 'stopo'?
Because it was awful.
I thought it had a certain style!
Yeah, sickening.
Sorry, you no liko my song.
And now from Germany, will you welcome with her animal impressions
Anna Schmidt.
Thank you, I would like you to com to visit me on a walk in the black forest.
First, we meet a farmer and his dog. Wouf! Wouf!
The dog is chasing the sheep, baa baa, and the cows
moo moo. Ah, here comes a man on his horse, neigh neigh.
No, no Anna.
No, neigh, neigh.
You are supposed to do the actuel sounds like...
among theworking classes and
I can't do that. It hurts my throat.
Thank you for trying. Anyway, jolly good! Well-done.
And now from china with something peculiarly Chinese,
Will you welcome Miss Chin Su Lee?
Chairman Mao he say, in the conditions of remaining
China today and the contradictions
The contradictions among the peasantry and the
Stop. This is supposed to be a school concert not a party
not a political broadcast.
Can't you sing or anything?
I can sing songs of revolution.
No, not that. Right, and now it's time for a little comedy
From Ali, Nadim and Ranjeet Singh.
There's a little yellow island at the north of Katamadu.
I am saying, I am saying, I am saying.
Yes, please.
Why is a rhinoceros being like an elephant?
Why is a rhinoceros is like being an elephant?
Cause neither of them can ride a bicycle.
I wasn't able to know that. Please be leaving The stage.
There's a little yellow island to the north of Katamandu.
I am saying, I am saying, I am saying...
Stop!
You are not liking us?
No.
What did you expect? More common ways?
If you're wanting, we can be doing more common ways.
I could be the fat short one with the hairy legs.
And I can be the one with the glasses.
We'll discuss it later. Thank you. Very good,
very good. Great.
Our next student to entertain you with a little culture is Jamila Ranjha.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am tell you beautiful English poetries
by Thomas Grey. Ellijah written in country
Elegy
Sorry Master
...And leaves the world to darkness and to me!
Incredible.
I'll work on her pronunciation. Thank you Jamila. And now
From Spain to entertain you comes Jean Cervantes.
Mr. Brown he tells you I am from Spain. That's surprise, isn't?
When I speak, I have no accent at all.
In Spain one times, I was going to be the bull-fighter,
so one Sunday afternoon, I go to the bull-fight and they put me in the bullring.
The bull comes. I look at the bull and the bull, he look at me.
He look at me, and I look at the bull. The bull was better looking than me
Why you no laugh?
It's alright. So I not become the bull fighter because I don't kill pretty bulls.
Good, huh?
You never saw me dance the flamingo.
I do it very Good.
Alright, and finally to complete our contribution, Greece and
Sweeden combine. Maximillian Papandrious and Ingrid Svenson.
Okay, and now my beautiful assistant and I are going to do some giggling.
Juggling.
All we need is a little practice.
We can't afford the plates.
Well-done. Sit down both of you.
Well Mr. Brown, I think we can cancel all this off.
Oh, please Miss Courtney, the students would be so disappointed.
I mean we still have three days. Just give us a chance.
Alright, very well. But remember this Mr. Brown!
Good jobs are hard to find!
Thank you, ''the weight watchers.''
And now Ladies and gentlemen, hail Jeremy Brown
and his United Nations.
Thank you!
I BELONG TO GLASCOW
0Hi Sid
What is that
It is a bird
Come on, I would see an elephant,
Don''t be stupid Sid you see an elephant in a cage
I think he makes the joke
Ha ha
What sort of bird is it anyway
A cocofree
Beg your pardon
A cocofree
Cocotree?
Hey, you are coco two man
He is a cokelyto
Cokely to? Oh you mean it is a parrot
That is right yea
Oh what you gonna call this parrot then
hollat
As the original?
Ah gladys, that is you how we want to see
Ah what events you are after forget it
No no, look, we just bought a bird, and we wanna leave it with you
And you wanna cook it?
Cook it? It is a new pet
I has the right to know, people leave anything these days
You just want you to look after it until we finish class, ok?
Yes alright put it on the counter
Ok
Enter
Thank you lady ship
Good evening Sidney
Hello Mr. Brown
How was the weekend?
Lousy
Got the mother in law to the movies
Oh, and how is the old mother in law
She is never forgive me for marring her daughter, not ever forgive.
For that letting these
That is not right, you know the only one thing
stop me of putting her in the gas oven
What was that?
She cant go in
Oh sheer don''t be upset Remember when you feel thing cant be worse
They can only get better
Is that true, I buy a bottle sometimes,
Ah, good evening Danielle
Ah bonsoir Mr. Brown You are just the man I am wanting
Me?
Yes, Can you help me
I will do my best
I have the big problems
Yea I am afraid I can't do much about loose
Not that problem
Oh sorry
My life is a mess up
Is she? I mean is it?
What sort of mess up?
I will tell you, last month I met this boy
Ah affair of the heart
This boy Pierre he keeps writing to me
Pierre is he a foreigner
No he is French I mean to me he is.
Never mind go.
Henri has found the letters
hoo, a lot of mess
I don''t like jalouse man
Pierre? No
Oh henri
Marcel, he works with Henri at the consulate
I am sorry I am a bit confused, how is Marcel jalouse of Pierre or Henry?
Emile
I don''t understand
That is another thing, he keeps telephoning me
Who? Pierre, Henry. Marcel or Emile/
Jean Paul
I am very safety in numbers but this is ridiculous
They are all after the one thing, my body
That is all they want
Yea
Why don''t you try to discourage them
Oh no, I like it
I see Pierre Monday, Henry Tuesday
Marcel Wednesdays Emile Thursdays
And Jean Paul on Fridays, that is my problem
What is?
My Saturdays and Sundays are so dull
Good nught
Good evening Anna
Are you busy
Who me, just finished
Good, I have a grosso problemo
Oh no not another one Who is it Hans, Karl, Vlhim or Adolph
No it is my homework
O, sorry
Your question is asking what is the correct address for members of parliament
Yes
I don''t know any member of the parliament
The question mean how do you address them
what you call them indeed
ah I don''t know that either
right, on your own book
good you want me to write on the black board
I didn''t mean w.r.i.t. E, but r.i.g. Ht, right
Right, right
right
help me please
open that door you funny chicken
I will break it away
Ali what is going on?
It is Rangi
What is the matter with him
Oh blame me, he has got oranges
Yes please If you not open this door I will break it down
Ali unlock the door
O no I am not unlocking the door
If you don''t unlock it I will I am warning you Now I am coming in
Ahhhhhh
Rangi what is the mean of this
The meaning is some done full,
he is opening the door, when just as I am targeting it
Mr. Brown opened the door
Thousand apologize
Come on here Ali. What is all this about?
That bothering is calling me a hairy goat
Is this true ali
Yes please
But his infidel is calling me the son of a camel
No I am calling you an illegitimate son of the camel
Now, That is not good enough You are meaning to call him something rot
I don''t want anybody calling anybody, anything
What ever your differences are, you leave
them out side the classroom
Now sit down, in the pew Come on
Ah Taro,
Yesso
Did you have a good weekend
Ah I spend a weekend reading a book of Charles Dickens
Ah which book are you readingoo
Which book are you reading
Oliver twister
Tell me do you understand most words
I understando all wordso
Are you reading in English
No all English words are difficult
A it must be a revised edition
No no Japanese edition
It was too good to be true
Good evening Mr. Brown
Still knitting knot way
Oh no, I am finished cardigan
What I meant, is you misunderstood what was saying
And you are be misunderstood what I am be knit
Let us forget the whole thing
Good evening sully
Not good for me
What is the matter?
I have lost my little red book
Oh good, I mean bad luck
I looked everywhere, but I am not finding it
Does this mean you wont be treating as the twenty honorable Shaman quotations
Oh no, I know quotations by heart, shaman Ma he say: In every thought
On no
No
Chao every body You are late
Sorry boss we had things to That is right, we just got a fantastic bird
Really
Is this bird have a name
Sure, polly
Umm, if you check the word, as Polly is not a bird
Oky kokcy
She is going to be a very good company for us at night
Us, what you mean us
Oh we are going to share her
One night she is with me, another night is with Max
I don''t like it anymore
Why you don''t like birds
Well, lets say I don''t like sharing it
Hey, I fix something for you, you give a fiver you go and get you a bird
Sure
What color you want
What color is yours
Mostly red with the blue neck, and green legs.
A the penny is dropped
Where
Polly is the a parrot
Well sir what do you thing she is, an elephant,
Ah ah
Sit down
What about the penny
Buona sare
Juan you are late
Por favor
Never mind por favor
You should have been here five minutes ago
Why what happened
Quiet, quiet
Silencio
Juan Al right
Why are you late
I tell you, my boss where I work, he tell me about the horse
who is going to win the big race tomorrow, very clever horse, talking
well horses don''t talk
si seignior he told me he get the tips straight from the horse's mouth,
that is a racing talk
sorry, then he tell me to bit on my shirt on the horse
you did not
no
O thank goodness for that
My shirt wouldn''t fit the horse
A Ah
Silence
I bit ten pounds to win on the horse Juan ten pounds is a lot of money
You could lose
No lose, tomorrow I will be very rich Muchas pesetas
There is no things of certainty
Si seignior my horse is trot right way
How do you know
This I tell you Big race start at two o'clock, soright
Yea bookmaker, he told me, my horse starts at 10 to one
All this is nuts, your horse will start at 2 o'clock just as all the race
He tried to trick me, I go I just
Juan sit down, it is time for all to start work
I will just take the absentees to Miss Cotrny,
then I look to your homework
Right,
Ah
Enter
Oh, Miss Cortny there are two absentees for tonight
It is being exalted
What about your Hungarian student
He is going sick oh, he's going back to Hangary
Oh
Enter
Excuse me, Miss Cortny
Yes, what do you want
I am sheikh el Hamed, and I am interested in your English classes
Oh I wonder why are you saying so, your English is very good
Thank you, it is comforting to know that my years at oxford were not wasted
I would like my chauffer to join to your class
I am afraid that it is quiet impossible
It is mid term and students are not permitted
to start half way through a course
Rules are rules I am sure you could make an exception
For a little donation of a two thousand pounds
This is adulation, to us, I tell you It is an educational establishment You cant
expect us to band the rules just because you
Dropped two grand on the table, tell him Miss Cortny,
Well of course he can Where is chauffeur now
Outside
Will you come in now
But he is white
People usually are from Glasgow
He is Scott's
But of course Why do you want us to teach him English
Because I don''t understand a word of what he says
Rightjack
I know enough, I don''t why you don''t understand
You understand don''t you
Hello can I help you
I don''t speak your way, They told me to stand here that is about
English course
I think the whole idea is ridiculous
I am suppose to teach English for foreign students
He sounds like a foreign student
Would not be far simpler for you to get another chauffer
No I could not do that
You see, jack father gave his life defending my father during the war
I feel I owe him my living
Well in that case why don''t make him very happy
And give him ajob in your home or something
Don''t be stupid Mr. Brown
I wonder if you mind waiting outside for a moment,
until Mr. Brown and I discuss this matter privately
Not at all
The door Mr. Brown
Now listen to me Mr. Brown You are a teacher of English it is yourjob
To teach English no matter the nationality your students have to be
Well I cant
Do not interrupt
Now remember that the Arabs are extremely wealthy
Who knows what are the benefits they maybe spend upon us
Yesterday I was reading in the newspaper about an Arab who was so pleased with the
service of his hotel that he presented to the manager a Rolls Royce
We are running a hotel Miss Cortny,
money isn''t important nor is the rolls Royce
Yes
I suppose I can give a try
Oh great Look upon it as a challenge
I will do my best
I wonder if you can join me for a cup of tea in the office
And then later on I will show you around the school
I am very proud of you
Oh my dear I go where you say Or I stay here
I am glad you hang up, I will try to teach you to speak English
Oh no, is no help, seem no good
I am not exactly jumping forjoying myself Ha
Tower of babel, don''t you have better to do then shouting to each other
Sure, hey we go for a cup of tea
That is a good idea
I don''t mean such things, sit down and be quiet
And pay attention
Right better to sit there next to Anna Ok
- How is life gone - What is your name
Heirmish hector de gaulle Donald shturt Mac Rugger
Well put down this joke
No joke
Well as you can see we have new student
I can introduce my self, I am here to learn English
As you can see yourself, everything new is English
Oh blame me what language is he speaking
Believe it or not it is English I will help the boss
If that is English what language is that we are learning
Mr. Mac Gregor is speaking in dialect
I thought you said he was speaking English
Well English with a dialect Hey I know about that dialect
You do?
Sure I have seen him on television Dr. Who and the dialects
No that is Dalects Oky docky
A Dialects is a formal speech particular to certain areas
Tell them where you are from
I am ajock
What is jock
Master please I know what is jock Good, would you mind to tell us all
Ajock is the funny story Jamilah this is joke
Mr. Mac Gregor is from Scotland which is a part from Great Britain
Great Britain is comprised of England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales,
No
What do you mean no, not Wales in England Wales in the sea
I am talking about Wales the country, covered with forest
I am not quit sure what to do with you for the moment
You are not going anywhere
Sit down, and as start concentrate at your dictionary
What are you telling me sir
First you have to repeat after me: The fat black cat
Sat on the mat
Fat black ca sat on the ma
No no lets take it separate Right
The The
Fat Faa
No not faa Fat
Black Black
Cat Cat
Sat Sate
On the On the
The The
mate Mate
Good lets try the whole thing The fat black cat sat mat
You have to sit down and listen while
I am gone finish the rest of the lesson
Al rightjust a moment
What are you doing Public drink
Oh your friend serve yourself while I am Certainly not,
I don''t like drinking in the classroom
No drinking and no smoking It isn''t worsen to be in a cork
As I said I hope you recall, I asked each to write a
preface on the your various believes
I hope it is done Sully would you like to read it at high voice
What I believe First I am not believe in religion
Excuse me sully is what you believe not what you don''t believe
Firstly it is necessary to make a break on what interact in your thoughts and stand
While building house it is necessary to make firm foundation
Excuse me please I am not understanding something
talking about
Sure ali, sully does well attempt to dialect the verbs
Oh blame me now I am not understanding what you are saying
Point taken, now sit down Ali thank you
Go right sullyen stick right to the point
I believe every one is equal as said I believe in shaman AUO
I believe in the diction of proletarian and suppression of capitalist
Oh rubbish
Rubbish That is work of evil
It is thought of black man in the body field
Don''t you dare, it is the destination
Oh shut up Stop and keep your remarks to yourself
Excuse please Yes taro
Not polite to insult lady, please apologize to her
What a teaching
Put up your fist up Hi ya
Ok I wont disappoint you Ok I am ready
Sit O no I am not satisfied
You will be satisfied after class, sit down taro
And I am asking you if you be oblige to keep quiet
Thank you sully I will read your essay
later Juan would you like to your essay
Sure
What I believe by one ferrantes, are three, so far so good, hein
yes come on get on with it so right, so right
I believe in one god And I believe in Jesus Christ, now, jesus
Christ, was the first roman catholic
Oh what are you talking about man Por favor
He was Jewish Por favor
Grog is trying to make a point the Christ was Jewish,
No he was not, he was a Jewish, It is insult
I will give you a fist at sight I will show you the cross
Ok who is first Sit down
I am furious Sit down,
Any interruption of you, out you go All right, all right
No a word shtum...
I go si right No juan your believe is as controversial as
Por favor Doesn''t matter sit down
hi, yeh come on
we will try you Randgit I am believing that all man are being equal
Ohhh no. Jock I have warned you
come on I cant accept it to say thatjolly japarty is equal to me
what is he telling
nothing randgit he is calling you jolly japarty
same goes to you too, I will give you a banjo final
you can all go to the tea place
As for you, you can just go
Just go Where is everybody go
Tea place Well do it quietly
Ah Miss Cortny, I am sorry I am afraid I cant do it
Cant do what Teach the Scottish
He is a disrupting influence in the class
Mr. Brown I am afraid that you must
I have invited the sheikh to be at the board of governance
He has promised to give us a new school board
Forgive me I could help over hearing
Is this some sort of problem
No Yes
He is rude, abrupt and extremely unpleasant
And you can keep your own voice You are an extraordinary man
You better wait in the car Ok got to hung a bird and say it is the law
That is the pity I was looking forward to meet your board governors
And so you should
But now the circumstances have changed
It doesn't make a change the objective of the
Now forgive me if I am wrong, but far as I am understand it
You wish to be able to converse with your Scottish chauffeur
Yes but I can't see how that can be achieved now
Every problem has its solution
And that is He does as I tell him or he gets for sock
Come one everybody sit down quickly'
should be taking you for the rest of the
lesson
What happen to Mr. Brown
Mr.Brown is in my office doing some private tutions