Love,
exciting and new.
Come aboard,
we're expecting you.
Love,
life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow,
it floats back to you.
The love boat,
soon we'll be making another run.
The love boat,
promises something for everyone.
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance
and love,
won't hurt anymore.
It's an open smile,
on a friendly shore.
It's love,
welcome aboard it's love.
Doc: Wait'll you see her, guys.
She makes Raquel Welch look like Don knotts.
Isaac: To you, every woman looks great.
Doc: There was nothing to it.
I just told the captain that sometimes women passengers can warm up to a nurse easier than a doctor.
Gopher: And sometimes a doctor can warm up better to a nurse.
Isaac: Especially when the nurse was once a Las Vegas show girl.
Doc: Oh, you should've seen her, Isaac.
When dawn Delaney stood on stage, you could hear the heavy breathing, and that was just from the orchestra.
Captain: Good morning, gentlemen.
Gopher/doc: Hi.
Gopher: 'Morning, sir.
Captain: All set to head for the bounding main?
Oh, there it is again.
Doc: Captain, it appears you've got yourself a case of the hiccups.
Captain: Oh, thank you, doctor.
There's nothing like an instant...Diagnosis.
Doc: Just hold your breath awhile.
They'll go away.
Captain: 'Hold my breath.'
doc: Hm-hmm.
Captain: Four years as a med student.
One year as an intern.
Three years as a resident, and you tell me to hold my breath.
No wonder you need a nurse.
Gopher: And if you don't need her, I can always use her.
Dawn: Doc!
Doc: Dawn!
Oh...
Dawn: Oh, gosh, oh...It's so nice to see you again.
Doc: I can't believe it.
Dawn Delaney in the flesh.
Dawn: Uh-uh.
I used to be in the flesh.
Now I'm in a nurse's uniform.
Doc: These are my good buddies, gopher and Isaac.
Fellas, this is dawn.
Isaac: Hi.
Dawn: Hi.
Isaac: I used to think that sunsets were perfect, but dawn is something else.
Dawn: Oh...it's a pleasure to meet you both.
Any friend of doc's is a friend of mine.
Gopher: Promise?
Doc: Easy.
Come on, I'm gonna show you the office and get you squared away.
Dawn: Okay.
Adam, you were so sweet to recommend me for this job.
How can I ever repay you?
Isaac: Don't worry.
He'll think of something.
Mrs. Morrison: Oh, Bruce, this is gonna be a lot of fun.
Bruce: I'd rather have root canal.
Mrs. Morrison: Oh...
Mr. Morrison: You can't miss.
You've got your choice of a couple of hundred beautiful girls.
Julie: Hello.
I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director.
Mrs. Morrison: Hello, Julie.
Mr. Morrison: Hi.
We're the morrisons, mister and Mrs., and our available son, Bruce.
Bruce: Ahh...
Julie: Well, hello.
Welcome aboard.
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful cruise.
Especially you, Bruce.
I just checked in some very attractive single ladies.
Bruce: Oh, well, thank you very much.
But I already have an attractive single lady.
Julie: I'm sorry.
Mrs. Morrison: Bruce, now you promised you'd forget about ginger while you're here.
Bruce: Right.
Give me a list of all the single girls eighteen to twenty one with their vital statistics.
Julie: Oh, well, I could make it easier for you and
just have the captain make a general announcement from the bridge, 'Bruce is available.'
Bruce: Perfect.
Right up the stairs and to your right.
Mr. Morrison: Thanks.
Julie: Bye, bye.
Gopher: Good day.
I'm gopher Smith, and I'm your friendly, neighborhood assistant purser.
Diana: Hello.
I'm Diana Lane.
Gopher: Diana!
Wasn't there a goddess by that name?
Okay, Diana, you're in fiesta cabin one-thirty-five.
And I want you to know that I'll do everything within my power,
and I'm not without power,
to make your stay on board pleasurable, memorable and exciting.
Diana: Are you like this with all the passengers?
Gopher: Oh, mercy no.
Just the goddesses.
Diana: Thank you.
But I'm spoken for.
Gopher: Boy back home, huh?
Diana: Hm-hmm.
Gopher: Well, I suggest he seek professional help, have his head examined.
Because he's crazy to let somebody like you out of his sight.
And it just so happens, i'm going in the direction of fiesta one-thirty-five.
I'll just take you along, it's part of my duty.
Here's our gift shop...
Captain: Dan?
Dan...
Dan: Merrill...
Captain: You look fantastic.
I'm sorry, hiccups.
Dan: You look ship-shape yourself, pal.
Captain: Yeah, well, it must be the uniform.
Dan: Oh, you're a handsome dog, you.
I'd like you to meet Laura Wakefield, my fiancée.
And I've told her nothing but bad about you.
Laura: That's not true, captain.
Captain: Merrill.
And congratulations.
No wonder you're looking so well.
So, when's the big day?
Dan: As soon as you get over the hiccups.
I'd like you to be best man, merrill.
Captain: Well, I'd be honored.
Laura: This is sort of a combination wedding and honeymoon.
We've arranged for a justice of the peace to marry us in cabo San Lucas.
Captain: Well, I can't think of a more...Beautiful place to get married.
Dan: Or to a more beautiful gal.
Captain: Right.
Now look, I want you to bring me up to date.
Tell me what's new besides my hiccups and your engagement since I saw you last.
Dan: What can I tell you?
I'm still a...
Laura: Listen, you two go ahead and reminisce and I'm gonna go to the gift shop.
Dan: All right.
Captain: She's beautiful.
Laura: Excuse me.
Gary: My pleasure.
Oh, since we bumped into each other, my name's Gary foster.
Laura: Hi.
Laura Wakefield.
Gary: Miss or Mrs.?
Laura: Well it's miss until we get to cabo San Lucas, and then Mrs.
Gary: I always get into trouble with ladies with your first name.
Laura: Laura?
Gary: No.
Mrs.
Excuse me.
Captain: Well, I'd better get back to work unless you wanna spend the next three days in port.
I'll see you, Dan.
Dan: Right, merrill.
Nice seeing you.
Captain: Bye, bye.
Laura: Dan?
Why don't we go check out our cabin and then go throw confetti on those poor souls who aren't sailing with us?
Dan: I'll tell you what.
Why don't we go down to the cabin and I'll take this body and throw it in bed and take a nap?
Laura: Oh, well, that sounds like a better idea.
You could probably use some rest.
Dan: Hey, no, your idea's better than...I can always take a nap.
How often do you get a chance to throw confetti at strangers?
Glenda: Listen to your father, dear.
Fathers usually know best.
Mr. Morrison: I think it's working.
Mrs. Morrison: Of course it's working.
Bruce is having so much fun he hasn't had time to think of ginger.
Mr. Morrison: Well, I just want him to learn that there are a lot more fish in the sea.
And you don't marry the first girl you fall for.
Oh, dear...
Hi.
Diana: Hello.
Mr. Morrison: I'm Harry Morrison.
This is my child bride, Phyllis.
Diana: Nice to meet you.
Diana: I'm Diana Lane.
Mrs. Morrison: Hello, Diana.
Well, are you travelling alone?
Diana: Yes, I am.
Mrs. Morrison: Are you single?
Diana: Well...
Mr. Morrison: Pushy.
Diana: Actually, I'm hoping to get married.
I'm going with someone right now.
Mr. Morrison: What is this, an epidemic?
I don't get it.
Why do you kids wanna tie yourselves down at your age?
Diana: I'm twenty-one.
Mrs. Morrison: Isn't that a coincidence?
Our son Bruce is twenty-two.
Mr. Morrison: Some coincidence.
Mrs. Morrison: Tall and very good-looking.
Gopher: Listen up.
Julie: Hello, everybody.
Guess what?
Gopher and I just found out that there are a lot of people in here who don't know each other.
And we figured out a way for everybody to meet.
Gopher: Right you are, Julie.
Rather than make a lot of formal introductions,
we're gonna give all of you the opportunity to make some informal introductions.
Right, Julie?
Julie: Right, gopher.
Okay, if you'd like to help us out all you have to do to join in
is we'd like the ladies to take off a shoe and put it in the basket.
That's for starters.
Gopher: I know it sounds crazy, but who says you have to be sane to work on a cruise ship.
Now, now, just shoes.
No feet.
Julie: Thank you.
Gopher: And no swim fins, guys.
Julie: Oh, this is gonna be fun.
Thank you.
Laura: Oh, Dan, that sounds like fun.
Come on, let's get a partner.
Dan: Oh, no, no.
You go on.
You go ahead, enjoy yourself.
Laura: Oh, no.
Uh-uh.
I am not gonna play without you.
Dan: Okay.
Game time.
Gopher: Hey, a toss of the shoe from this man.
Julie: Here's another shoe.
Thank you very much.
Gopher: Oh, wait just a moment.
Just, just a moment.
Julie: Okay, now...Excuse me.
The next step is up to the fellas.
Now what you have to do is you close your eyes, reach in the basket and pull out a shoe.
And when you find the owner that's your partner for the game, okay?
Right, gopher?
Gopher: Right.
And the object of the game is to pass this orange to your partner using just your chin.
Nobody wins, nobody loses.
But as a way of introduction, it beats shaking hands.
Hey.
Here we go.
All right, guys, listen.
Grab a shoe.
Julie: And you guys close your eyes when you pick, all right?
Gopher: How 'bout some of you guys over here?
One to a customer, guys.
Don't, don't grab two shoes.
Bruce: Hello.
Mrs. Morrison: Uh, Bruce this is Diana Lane.
Bruce: Hi.
How are you?
Diana: Hi, hi.
I'm fine.
How are you?
Bruce: Fine.
Mr. Morrison: And you don't have to tell her a thing about yourself.
Your mother's covered all that.
Mrs. Morrison: Harry.
Bruce, you and Diana have a great deal in common.
She can't wait to get married either.
Bruce: Uh-oh, I sense a lecture coming.
Mr. Morrison: Now look, you got a gal and you got a guy and the two of you think you wanna get married.
Now that doesn't mean that you couldn't have dinner and go dancing tonight and have a real good time together.
Diana: Well, I think I could force myself into it, if you can.
Bruce: All right, it's a date.
Diana: Good.
I'll see you all at dinner.
Bye, bye.
Bruce: Bye, bye.
Mr. Morrison: Bye.
Gopher: Hey, Diane, aren't you gonna play the game?
We could be partners.
Diana: Oh, oh, I couldn't handle the excitement.
Besides, I'm true to the boy back home, remember?
Bruce: I'll pick you up at eight.
Diana: Perfect.
Gopher: What the boy back home doesn't know can't hurt him.
Laura: Now hold still.
Cause if you don't hold still we'll never win, you know.
Gary: Oh, listen...
Laura: Come on.
Gary: It's not...Oh, no.
It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
Laura: Oh, all right.
Then let's play the game.
Here we go, here we go...
Mrs. Martin: Oh, oh...Oh, oh, I, I think i'm hurting my neck.
Would you take the orange from under my chin, please?
Mr. Ross: Which one?
Mrs. Martin: I've only got one orange.
Mr. Ross: From which chin?
Glenda: Well, the prince tried to find cinderella.
She didn't have to look for her own shoe.
Dan: Oh, I was waiting for midnight.
Glenda: Come on, let's, let's show these youngsters how, shall we?
Julie: There you go.
Have an orange.
Glenda: Oh, thank you.
Dan: Hmm...
Glenda: Um...to tell you the truth I hate these childish games, too.
Dan: Good.
Glenda: But...you can buy me a drink.
Dan: Great.
Isaac: Hey, how come you two aren't passing the orange?
Dan: We didn't wanna pass up your pina coladas.
Isaac: Ah, a wise choice, my friend.
Two pina coladas coming up.
Glenda: My, how things have changed.
You know, I haven't been on board a ship since world war ii.
I was a singer with the uso.
Dan: Yeah, we were all young.
Glenda: Once.
And romantic.
But then if you're not romantic when you are young, when can you be?
Remember those great old songs, hmm?
Remember this one?
'I'll be seeing you...'
glenda/dan: '...In all the old familiar places.
That this heart of mine embraces...'
Laura: Oh, that was fun.
Dan: Yeah, it looked like it was fun.
Glenda Fairbanks, this is my fiancée, Laura Wakefield.
Hey, we're a team.
Listen.
Dan/glenda: 'I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places...'
Laura: Donny and Marie.
Dan: Who?
Laura: Never mind.
Glenda/dan: 'That this heart of mine embraces all day through.'
glenda/dan/isaac: 'In that small cafe, the park across the way...'
glenda/dan/isaac/captain: 'The children's carousel.
The Chestnut tree, the wishing well.'
gopher: Doc?
Okay, right in here Mrs. Martin.
The doctor will take good care of you.
Mrs. Martin: Oh, my neck.
Oh, I'll never be able to eat soup again.
Dawn: Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, what happened?
Gopher: She was in the orange passing contest and the orange won.
Dawn: Doctor's stepped out for a few minutes, but don't worry, Mrs.
Martin, I'm sure I can help you.
Gopher: We better leave that, miss Delaney.
I'll go find doc.
Gopher: Oh, doc, hey a passenger is injured.
I think her neck maybe broken.
Doc: What?
Gopher: I told the showgirl not to touch her till you got here.
Mrs. Martin (voice): (Screams)
Gopher: We're too late.
Doc: What the heck is dawn doing to her?
Mrs. Martin: Too late, doctor.
Your nurse just snapped my neck back into place.
Dawn: It was just a simple muscle spasm.
Doc: Well, it seems to be all right.
Does it hurt?
Mrs. Martin: Not any more.
Thank you.
Dawn: Oh, anybody could've done it.
Gopher: Oh, sure.
Doc: Anybody could've done it if they'd read the first aid manual.
Mrs. Martin: Yeah, but she did it.
Thank you.
You're a real life saver.
Thank you.
Dawn: You didn't mind, did you, doc?
Doc: Mind?
Why should I mind?
A good nurse is supposed to fill in for a doctor.
Listen, why don't you take the rest of the afternoon off?
Dawn: I'm supposed to be helping you.
There must be something you want.
Doc: Well, now that you bring it up...
Dawn: Of course, straighten the files.
I'll get right to it.
Mr. Morrison: ...And the doctor says, 'Mrs.
Johnson, I've got good news for you.' The lady says, 'it's not Mrs.
Johnson, it's miss Johnson.' 'Oh, in that case' the doctor says, 'I've got some bad news for you.'
Diana: Oh, I'm so glad you asked me to join you.
Mrs. Morrison: So are we, Diana.
Are you really serious about getting married?
Diana: Oh, absolutely.
As soon as I graduate.
And while my fiancé's in law school, I'll be working to help him get through.
Mr. Morrison: Well, young lady, you seem to have everything well planned out.
Diana: Thank you.
Bruce: Any room in those plans for a dance?
Diana: I think maybe one.
Bruce: Excuse us.
Mrs. Morrison: You know, I like her.
She has her head on straight.
Mr. Morrison: Yeah, and everything else is in place, too.
Just like you at her age.
Mrs. Morrison: What do you mean 'her age'?
I have everything now I had then.
Mr. Morrison: Yeah, just in different places.
But I like it, I like it.
Gopher: Look at old doc there.
He's on cloud nine.
Isaac: Yeah.
If she's an angel of mercy, all I can say is lord have mercy.
Julie: Honestly, don't you guys ever even consider a girl's intellect?
Dawn put herself all the way through nursing school.
I think she has a very fine head on her shoulders.
Gopher: Oh, I wouldn't know about that.
I haven't got up to there yet.
Mrs. Martin: Pardon me, if you don't mind.
Doc: Not at all.
Mrs. Martin: Oh, oh, no, please.
I want you to take a look at my friend.
Mister Ross?
Mr. Ross: That back of mine.
I don't know what happened.
Mrs. Martin: Oh, you tried to boogie.
That's what happened.
Do you think you can help him?
Dawn: Mister Ross should be attended to by doctor bricker.
Doc: Absolutely.
Mr. Ross: Oh, a good night's sleep and I'll probably be okay.
Doc: If not, call me in the morning.
Mr. Ross: Hope I live that long.
Captain: Well, well, if it isn't the famous medical team bricker and...
Doc: Still got the old hiccups, captain?
Captain: No.
I'm doing my Dean Martin impression.
Of course I still have the hiccups.
Dawn: Pardon me, sir, but I've been reading about hiccups in one of the medical journals...
Doc: Why don't you try breathing into a paper bag?
Or better yet, gargle with salt water.
Captain: Why don't I just kiss a toad.
Doc: Uh-uh.
That's for warts.
Captain: Oh.
How should I know?
I don't have a medical degree.
Dawn: There is a new method for curing hiccups.
The article said that all...
Doc: Rest your lips.
You'll need them later.
Dawn: Adam, people are watching us.
Doc: Oh, good.
Then they'll know doctors play other games besides golf.
Captain: Now why don't they play some music you can dance to?
Huh?
Do you mind?
Laura: Not at all.
Captain: Thank you.
Gary: May I, captain?
Captain: Laura?
Laura: I'll see you back at the table.
Captain: Well, enjoy yourselves.
Boy, that's some beautiful girl you got there, Dan.
Dan: Yeah, young and beautiful.
You know, I wonder if she wouldn't be better off with somebody younger.
Captain: Oh, come on, Dan, you don't dance through life.
You love her, don't you?
Dan: Merrill, in twenty years I'll be almost seventy.
And she'll still be a young and beautiful woman.
Captain: Hey look, you can get a lot of happiness out of twenty years.
Do you know how many married couples, any age, would give their right arm for one year of happiness?
Oh, I've gotta go talk to that band.
If they don't slow that tempo down they'll be in San Pedro two days before the ship.
How'd you like to play something from my generation?
Gary: You're a great dancer.
Laura: Dan's a great teacher.
Glenda: They're playing our song.
Come on.
Gary: You quitting?
Laura: Yeah.
I'll take a rain check .
I'll see you later, okay?
Gary: Yeah.
Mr. Morrison: Hello, Diana.
Goodbye, ginger.
Mrs. Morrison: Hallelujah.
Glenda: I knew you'd be light on your feet.
Dan: Well you're not bad yourself.
Would you excuse me though, really i'd, I'd like to dance with my fiancée.
Glenda: Oh, well sure.
Where is she?
Dan: She was here a moment ago.
Glenda: She must have left, so let's not waste this music, hmm?
Diana: Mmm...bruce, you're one terrific kisser.
Bruce: Well you're not so bad yourself...Ginger.
Laura: Hi.
Dan: Hi.
I looked for you down on the floor but you'd gone.
Dan: Comfortable for you, maybe, but...It sure makes my blood pressure go up.
Laura: Oh?
Well...
Dan: Here.
Laura: Thank you.
Hey, you know, you really are a fantastic dancer.
I didn't realize how good though until I saw you on the floor with someone else.
Dan: Well...you looked pretty good with that young fella, too.
Laura: Oh, but that older woman was incredible.
Dan: Older woman?
She's younger than I am.
Laura: Oh, but you look so young, darling.
Dan: That's just the reflection of you in my eyes.
Hey, what's that?
Hey, that's me.
Laura: Yeah.
Dan: Where did you get that?
Laura: Your mother gave it to me.
You know, if I thought a baby of ours would turn out like that, I'd lock us in a room forever.
Dan: Well, I'm getting a little pooped.
I think I better go turn in.
Laura: Well, um...
Dan: Goodnight.
I'll see you in the morning.
Laura: Okay.
Dawn: Oh, mister Ross, come in.
Mr. Ross: The doctor told me to see him first thing in the morning.
Dawn: He'll be here soon.
How's your back?
Mr. Ross: Did you ever get stepped on by an elephant wearing baseball spikes?
And that's the way it was before it got worse.
Dawn: Come on.
Over here and have a seat, all right?
Mr. Ross: Thank you.
Dawn: I'm sure you won't have to wait too long.
Mr. Ross: My back!
Dawn: Mister Ross, are you all right?
Mr. Ross: It's better.
My back is better.
Mrs. Martin was right.
You're a genius.
Doc: Good morning.
Hi, mister Ross.
Let's have a look at your back.
Mr. Ross: Oh, you wanna see my back?
Come down to the swimming pool.
I'm gonna be the guy doing jackknifes into the pool from the smoke stacks.
Doc: You cured him?
Dawn: Believe me, it was nothing.
Doc: Tell me the truth.
You're a registered witch.
Diana: Well I think I should tell them who I am right now.
Bruce: Just give them a little time to get to know you first, okay?
Diana: Bruce, it's, it's deceitful.
I'm going to go tell them.
Bruce: No.
Now we gotta stick with our plan.
Diana: I feel guilty.
I don't like fooling nice people like that.
Bruce: We made a deal.
Diana: Well, I'm sorry I let you talk me into it.
Bruce: Talk you into it?
I just mentioned the idea.
You jumped at it.
Diana: I did not.
Bruce: How do you like that?
Twenty-one and your memory's going.
Diana: Not mine, yours.
If you're going to build our marriage on deceit, maybe we should think a little more about getting married.
Bruce: Well what does that mean?
Diana: It means maybe your parents were right.
Maybe you're not mature enough to get married.
Bruce: Now listen...
Laura: Well ever since we came aboard and...I don't know, it's been like...
Like he didn't really care for me anymore.
Gary: Why would you think that?
Laura: Well, he's always dancing with other people, he's always talking to other people...
Gary: You mean the way we are now?
Laura: No.
We're talking about him.
That's different.
He spends more time with glenda than he does with me.
I almost think he'd rather spend the time with her anyway.
Gary: Oh come on, now that's dumb.
Laura: I don't think so.
Dumb, is it?
Mr. Morrison: Hey, if you're planning to jump, don't forget your snorkel.
Bruce: Thanks.
Mrs. Morrison: Why the long face?
Bruce: Oh, it's Diana.
We had an argument.
Mr. Morrison: I'm sorry, son.
But I'm sure you'll meet someone new before the day is up.
Well that certainly proves our point.
I mean if he can be that upset about a girl he just met yesterday,
he can't be very much in love with his ginger.
Mrs. Morrison: I wonder what he and Diana argued about?
Mr. Morrison: Oh, probably sex.
Mrs. Morrison: Harry, I swear, sometimes I think that is all you think about.
Mr. Morrison: Count your blessings.
Captain (voice): This is the captain.
Mexican fiesta night is now underway in the acapulco lounge.
Julie: Buenos noche, senor.
Would you like to share a Marguerita?
Bruce: Oh, Julie, if you don't mind i'd rather be alone, okay?
Julie: Oh, okay.
Bruce: It's nothing personal, really.
Julie: It's all right, I'll get over it.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be fine, I think.
Gopher: Hey, I've been looking all over for you.
How 'bout the two of us go dance on a hat?
Diana: You go, gopher, I'm not in the mood.
Gopher: Sure.
Adios.
Mrs. Morrison: He looks miserable.
Mr. Morrison: So does she.
Mrs. Morrison: Do you think he could have actually have fallen in love with Diana?
They've only known each other two days.
Mr. Morrison: Why not?
I flipped for you in just twenty-four hours.
Of course, you were the most beautiful girl in the world.
And still are.
Mrs. Morrison: You know, I think we stuck our nose into something that was none of our business.
Mr. Morrison: Yeah, Bruce and Diana had their lives all planned out until we forced them together.
Mrs. Morrison: Well, it wasn't our fault they fell in love or had a fight.
Mr. Morrison: Well not totally our fault.
Dan: Are you having a good time?
Laura: Sure.
Are you?
Dan: Oh, yes.
Would you like a drink?
Laura: No.
Actually, I was...Feeling a little tired and I thought maybe I'd go to bed early.
Dan: Uh, yeah, me, too.
I'm tired myself and I'll go to bed early.
Mrs. Morrison: I can't stand this anymore.
Come on.
Bruce, we owe you an apology.
Bruce: What?
Mr. Morrison: For conning you into this cruise.
Mrs. Morrison: We will never try to influence you anymore.
Mr. Morrison: Whatever you wanna do with your life is none of our business.
Bruce: Well...well, I owe you an apology.
We conned you, too.
Mrs. Morrison: 'We?'
Bruce: Ginger and I.
That's her right there.
She's Diana.
Diana is ginger.
They're one in the same.
Mr. Morrison: You mean you tried to pull a fast one on us?
Bruce: Yeah, but don't blame her.
I had to talk her into it.
Diana: Okay, Bruce, that's it.
I love you and I'm sick of playing games.
I'm ginger.
Mrs. Morrison: Ginger...
Diana: Yes, I think what Bruce and I did was wrong and deceitful,
and I hope someday you'll be able to forgive us for it.
Mr. Morrison: Cute kid, but what a blabbermouth.
Diana: And another thing, nothing you can say will keep us apart, absolutely nothing.
Mrs. Morrison: Ginger, will you hold it?
Just hold it.
It's all right.
You have our blessing.
Diana: Really?
Mrs. Morrison: Hm-hmm.
Diana: Oh, Bruce...Bruce, did you hear?
Bruce: I heard, I heard.
Now will you stop talking long enough for me to kiss you?
Julie: You know that dawn is really wonderful.
Gopher: Hmm...
Julie: Sometimes I just need a woman to talk to and dawn has a perfect bedside manner.
I think she ought to be nominated for a nobel prize for medicine.
Isaac: Well, I guess I was wrong.
I mean, I had her pegged as a ding-a-ling in white.
Gopher: Boy, how lucky can you get?
A body like that and a brain to match.
Isaac: It's not always lucky.
Your body matches your brain.
Julie: Oh...well, I think she seems to know everything.
Doc: Uh, talking about dawn again, huh?
All: Uh-huh...
Doc: I'm beginning to think she's doctor schweitzer in drag.
What the...?
What kind of a Mexican outfit is that?
Isaac: Zorro !
Doc: Zero!
Dawn: Hi, everybody.
All: Hi.
Dawn: I hope I'm not too late.
Doc: No, that's okay, honey.
You were probably performing emergency brain surgery.
Dawn: Adam, what's wrong?
Doc: Oh, nothing.
This is our last night at sea, I was hoping we could celebrate.
Gopher: Oh, that sounds good to me.
Julie: Yeah.
What could we do?
Doc: 'We?' did I say 'we'?
I don't remember saying 'we'.
I don't think I said 'we'.
Did you hear me say 'we'?
We?
Not 'we'.
No, probably not.
Gopher: I don't know, captain, if I were you, I'd talk to your tailor.
Captain: Doc, doc, you gotta help me.
Isaac: Well first of all, I'd lose the mustache.
Gopher: I'd Bury it.
Captain: I am talking about my hiccups.
Doc: Well, we've just gotta try some other remedies.
Dawn: Pardon me, captain.
Captain: Yes?
Dawn: Just a little pressure on the ribs near the diaphragm.
Ole.
Captain: Oh, they seem to have disappeared.
Doc, I've gotta hand it to this nurse of yours, you're a miracle worker.
Doc: Ain't she just.
Male p.A.Voice: Good afternoon.
For those of you who wish to go ashore, launches will be leaving for cabo San Lucas every...
Captain: Okay, I'm free.
Let's go.
I just spoke to the justice of the peace in cabo San Lucas and he's waiting for us.
Where's Laura?
Dan: I don't know.
Captain: What's going on with you two?
Dan: I just don't think it's fair to her, merrill.
Captain: Loving her isn't fair?
Dan: No, loving somebody is making them happy and she...
Would be happier with people who are...Younger like Gary foster, you know...
Captain: Dan, the worst mistakes come from hasty decisions.
Dan: No, this is not a hasty decision.
I've been thinking about it for a couple of days.
Captain: Then think about it a little longer.
Dan: There's no need to.
How long are we gonna be here in port?
Captain: A few hours.
Dan: I think I'll pack then and fly back to Los Angeles.
Captain: At least finish the cruise.
Dan: No.
I want her to be free to enjoy herself.
You tell her for me, will you?
Captain: Dan...
Dan: After I've gone though.
Thank you, merrill.
Dan: Why are you packing?
Laura: I...
Dan: The ship doesn't dock in los Angeles till tomorrow afternoon.
Laura: Well, i'm, I'm flying back today.
Dan: Well why?
Laura: I've always wanted you to feel free and...Well, I, I...Feel like I'm being selfish with you?
Dan: What do you mean, selfish?
Laura: Well you enjoy yourself so much with other people.
People like, like glenda.
Dan: Glenda?
Laura: Glenda.
So I'm letting you have your freedom.
Dan: Yeah, you're letting me have it, all right.
Right in the kisser.
Laura: Oh, come on.
You were having the best time of your life without me.
You're singing and dancing...
Dan: You haven't exactly been locked up in a cage.
Laura: All I ever wanted to be was your wife.
Dan: Well, how dare you assume you're the only person in this cabin who's in love.
Laura: I love you more than you could possibly ever love me.
Dan: My age, when I'm seventy...
Laura: I know.
When you're seventy, I will be forty-nine.
And when you're ninety, I will be seventy.
And when you're a hundred-and-twenty, I will be a hundred.
Oh, Dan, do you think our ages will make any difference then?
We rode the carousel together, Dan.
And god gave us the brass ring.
And you're throwing it right back in his face.
Dan: Oh...I'm sorry.
You're right, you're right.
I promise you one thing.
I will never ever do anything again to bring a tear to your eye.
Laura: Oh, Dan, I love you so much.
Dan: I'll tell you another thing.
No matter how old I am, without you tomorrow I'd be ninety.
Doc: Just look at these cards.
None of them are up-to-date.
Where are my tongue depressors?
I cannot find my tongue depressors.
Dawn: Well they should be here somewhere, Adam.
Doc: Doctor.
Doctor bricker, thank you.
And there are no magazines in my waiting room.
Dawn: I threw them out, doctor.
They were ten years old.
Doc: You threw out my national geographic?
Without asking?
You call yourself a nurse.
Dawn: I'm sorry, doctor.
I, I just never realized...
Doc: That's no excuse.
Look, instead of being doctor Delaney, why don't you just try to concentrate on doing your job!
Dawn: But, Adam, I've been trying so hard...
Doc: Now wait a minute, Delaney, don't...Nobody ever said you weren't trying.
Julie: Say, dawn, I just wanted to thank you for everything.
Doc: We were just discussing medical procedures.
Julie: You know, doc, there's an old saying...
Doc: Yeah, I know, I know.
'Physician heal thyself.'
Julie: No. Physician, quit being such a heel!
Dawn: It's open.
Doc: Hi, there.
How's it going?
Dawn: Fine, thank you, doctor bricker.
I'm almost packed.
Doc: Uh, dawn...I came to apologize for the way I spoke to you.
Dawn: You don't have to.
A doctor doesn't have to apologize to a mere nurse.
Doc: You can make me feel worse than that.
Dawn: I'll just go back to Vegas where I belong.
Doc: Okay.
I feel worse.
Dawn: Let's face it, doc.
I'm just not cut out for nursing.
Doc: You're right.
You should be a doctor.
Dawn: What?
Doc: Yeah.
You have a...An instinct for people.
You'd be great.
Dawn: Oh...oh, come on, doc.
Doc: No, I mean it.
You can do it.
Dawn: You know, it's funny.
I had a year of pre-med.
I was on my way to becoming a doctor.
Doc: Well, what stopped you?
Dawn: Me.
I figured no one would take me seriously.
You know, once a sex symbol, always a sex symbol.
Doc: Yeah.
I know what you mean.
Dawn, c'mere.
Sit down.
Dawn, doctors are certainly not gods.
All we can do is listen to the patient and try our best to help.
And that's exactly what you've been doing.
Dawn: I don't know, doc, it's a big step.
Doc: I've got faith in you.
Dawn: But, even if you were right, I mean...
How do I know they would take me back into a medical school?
Doc: And how do you know they wouldn't?
Especially if I write a letter of recommendation to a couple of deans.
Dawn: Doc, would you?
How can I ever thank you?
Doc: You're doing just fine.
And isn't this a lot more fun than a thank you note?
Captain: I...you didn't leave.
Dan: What?
Leave the most beautiful girl in the world?
Captain: All right.
All right, that's it.
That's it.
Period.
Laura: No.
No way, merrill.
Dan: No.
Not a chance.
Captain: But...
Dan: We found your justice of the peace at cabo San Lucas before we sailed and...
We got married.
Captain: I'm gonna kiss the bride.
Glenda: Goodbye, captain.
Captain: Goodbye.
Glenda: I'll be seeing you.
Captain: 'In all the old familiar places...'
Julie: I hope you enjoyed your cruise.
Mrs. Morrison: Enjoyed?
I gained four pounds.
Mr. Morrison: I did better than that.
I gained a daughter.
Gopher: Oh, hey, Diana, I'm gonna be off duty in about an hour,
how about the two of us having dinner at my place?
Diana: Oh, gopher, I'd love to.
Gopher: You would?
Diana: But you'll have to ask Bruce.
We're getting married.
Gopher: Well how 'bout the boy back home you were gonna marry?
Diana: Bruce is the boy back home.
Gopher: Makes sense to me.
Captain: Hope you enjoyed yourself.
Goodbye.
Dan: Merrill, goodbye and thank you for everything.
You're a good friend.
Captain: Well you're not.
I've got a bone to pick with you two.
I was supposed to be the best man at your wedding.
Laura: We're sorry.
Listen, we'll let you be godfather to our first child, okay?
Captain: Really?
Dan: And the second one.
Laura: And the third and the fourth and the...
Dan: So you can see why you won't be hearing from me for a while.
Mrs. Martin: Pardon me, sir.
I just have to tell you what a beautiful daughter you have.
Dan: She's not my daughter...But don't tell my wife.
Dawn: Thanks, Isaac.
Isaac: Sure.
Dawn: Oh well, take care everybody.
It was nice meeting you.
Julie: It's been a great cruise, dawn.
Let's keep in touch, okay?
Dawn: Okay.
Doc: Excuse me.
Dawn: That cough, doc, how long have you had it?
Doc: Oh, just...Since this morning.
I'm okay.
Dawn: You better take an antibiotic and get some bed rest...Alone.
Doc: Whatever you say.
Dawn: Now, where do I send the bill?
Julie: Bye, dawn.
Doc: ...What did I tell you?
She's a born doctor.
Captain: You were right.
Doc: But I didn't say she was perfect.