Love,
exciting and new
come aboard,
we're expecting you.
Love,
life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow,
it floats back to you.
Love boat
soon will be making another run.
The love boat
promises something for everyone.
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
Love
won't hurt anymore.
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
Yes, love
welcome aboard,
it's love.
Somehow, eighty-six degrees,
bright sunshine and a smog alert
don't say Christmas to me.
What's missing is snow.
Of course it's missing.
It's eighty six-degrees.
Oh, I sure wish I was up
in Oregon with my folks.
You know, this is the first
Christmas I've ever spent
without my family.
How do you think I feel?
I never spent Christmas with
your family.
But, I know what you mean,
Julie.
I mean, Christmas time should be
family time.
I would've been in Las Vegas.
Nothing more traditional than
Christmas at a crap table.
But it is traditional.
Every year my ex-wives get
together and treat me to a big
Turkey dinner.
Sort of their way of saying
thanks.
We always spend Christmas
at my uncle delmer's farm.
We arrive at nine o'clock on
Christmas morning and by ten
we're sitting down to a big
pancake breakfast and syrup.
At eleven o'clock we open the
Christmas presents, and then at
one-thirty we all go out for a
walk.
By two-thirty everybody's ready
for a nap.
Sounds like fun.
Good morning.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Well, we nap for about an hour or so,
and then at three-thirty, Bob,
that's my brother,
he takes the kids to
visit the neighbors.
Then at six-fifteen, my aunt
Lillian brings out a big
Christmas goose and we eat
ourselves right into oblivion.
Then at eight, we drag ourselves
away from the table and...
Go to bed?
No, then we go caroling
door to door.
Then you go to bed.
No, then we burn the tradi..
You see, sir, we're all feeling
a little homesick about
having to spend Christmas aboard.
Really?
I've never done anything else.
Oh, but, sir, wouldn't you
rather spend Christmas with
your family than at sea?
Miss McCoy, as you know,
I'm divorced.
My family consists of my father
and his new wife, and they live
in Florida.
So, as far as I'm concerned --
Christmas is just another
working day.
-- And speaking of work...
All: Right.
Yes, sir.
Sure.
Right.
Sir -- I know that we
don't normally exchange
presents, but I was thinking
that seeing as how we're gonna
be at sea on Christmas day...
Mr. Smith,
a rule is a rule.
No presents.
Aye-aye, sir.
-- Scrooge lives.
Good morning,ladies and gentlemen
and welcome to our annual three-day
Christmas voyage to Ensenada.
Bon voyage and merry Christmas!
Hello.
Welcome aboard.
Hey, Julie.
Look at those two.
Five bucks says they're not
married.
Oh, no way.
They're newlyweds.
Oh please.
They're lovers.
Bet?
Bet.
Oh, darling, this is wonderful.
I'm so glad you brought me on
this cruise.
I'm glad I brought you,too.
(In his mind)If I didn't bring you,
i would have to kiss you goodbye.
It'll be fun.
Just the two of us at sea.
Oh, yes it will.
Audrey's voice: I'd rather be in
a swamp with idi amin.
Newlyweds.
Lovers.
Five big ones.
Hi.
We're mr.And Mrs. Baynes.
Well, hi, how are you? Hi.
The check's in the mail.
Welcome aboard.
This is assistant purser Smith
and I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise
director.
How do you do? Welcome aboard.
I'm sure you'll enjoy our
Christmas cruise.
Paul's voice: A Christmas cruise
with her.
(Sings) 'Tis the season to be
seasick.'
Audrey's voice: And after
Christmas what?
New year's Eve.
Oh my god!
I'm gonna have to kiss him
again.
And we hope you both
have a wonderful time.
Huh?
What?
I'm sorry.
I guess I was daydreaming.
You were saying?
Yes, sir.
I was saying that you're in
cabin three-forty-four,
promenade deck.
You'll have to forgive Paul.
He's just so thrilled, he's a
little out of it.
Paul's voice: Out of it?
That's what I want.
Out of it!
And don't forget, our gift shop
will be open if you need
to buy any last minute presents.
Thanks.
Audrey's voice: Oooo, I hope he
gives me what I want this
Christmas -- a divorce.
And I promise I won't exchange
it.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Well now, that's what I
call a happily married couple.
I can spot 'em like that.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Honey?
Uh?
Relax.
I can't help it.
I think everyone's staring at me.
I feel like I'm wearing a sign
that says 'ex-con.'
you've gotta get that out
of your head.
You're not a criminal.
You never were.
You were innocent.
I know that and you know that.
Too bad the jury didn't know that.
Honey,i can't erase the last three years.
You got a raw deal.
But that's behind you now.
Let's make a brand new start on
our future, huh?
Okay.
Oh, purser.
Yes, ma'am.
We're mr.And Mrs. Barton.
Ah,welcome aboard.
Now, let's see.
Barton...uh -- aloha deck,
cabin three-fifty-three.
Right through there.
Thank you.
Gee, mr.Barton,
you look like you could
use a little sunshine.
Probably working too hard, huh?
Okay, guys.
Now, settle down.
Settle down.
Hi, Julie.
Oh, hi!
Welcome aboard, father Mike.
It's good to see you again.
Tony, get off that rail.
I ain't on the rail.
No, but you were
thinking about it.
Julie, I'd like you to meet
Mario, Artie, Ben, Mitch,
peanut...
Hi.
And Tony.
Hello.
All: Hi.
The first one of 'em
that gives you any lip,
throw 'em over the side.
Well, you guys have fun.
Okay, guys, let's get
going, huh?
Now -- no running, and no
pushing, no shoving.
And no fighting.
Can we breathe?
Let me think about it.
Was that father Mike?
Yes, sir.
He brought six kids with him
this year.
Oh well, I hope they
behave themselves.
Well, sir, they're kids.
They're supposed to have fun.
That's the whole idea of
bringing these orphans on a
holiday.
Just keep them off the bridge.
Yes, sir.
Oh, did you know that some guy
pays for a bunch of these kids
every year and nobody knows who
it is?
Swell.
Well, sir, did you ever ask
father Mike who puts up the money?
Obviously, somebody
with more dollars than sense.
Well, merry Christmas to you,
too, sir.
Honey?
Huh?
Would you like to have
dinner in the cabin tonight?
It's a lot -- cozier than the
dining room.
It's okay.
I'm ready to be with people.
Right now I'm the only people
I want you to be with.
I never deserved you, Lila
-- now even less than before.
Honey, everything's gonna
be all right.
When we get back home, you can
make a brand new start.
Sure.
What'll I do?
I'm a lawyer, Lila.
A lawyer who can't practice law.
You'll find something.
Yeah, maybe I'll just --
answer every ad I see for a
convicted embezzler.
Hi, merrill.
Oh, hi, father Mike.
How're the kids?
Oh, they're getting
ready for dinner.
I only had to break up one water
fight and one soap fight.
Well, at least they'll come to
dinner clean.
You're good with kids.
They're just short people.
Maybe that's why you're a priest and
-- I'm a captain.
I understand the sea...
People...
Something on your mind?
Me?
No.
Nothing.
"Nothing" can weigh a ton,
can't it?
Well, it's just so silly.
Here I am on a
ship full of people and...
And you're lonely.
Yeah.
And it's Christmas and
-- that's blowing it all outta
proportion.
I told you it was silly.
Y'know, that's what
steams me about Christmas.
It's supposed to bring people
closer,
so often it,isolates them.
Look, merrill, you must have
friends on the crew.
At best,
they tolerate me.
You're not only lonely,
you're -- feeling sorry for
yourself, too.
Hey, you don't
pussyfoot around, do you?
It's part of my charm.
Mike, I wanna be friendly with the crew
but I'm the captain.
I mean, I -- I can't be their
friend and lead them, too.
Really?
Well, I don't know.
I -- I heard of this leader once
who was a friend to everyone.
Well, he had this technique, he
used,
that really helped him
to get close to his 'crew'.
-- As I remember, it was something like,
'love thy neighbor as thyself.'
worked so well for him,
they celebrate his
birthday every year.
Right about now.
Yeah.
But how do I make that work for
me?
Merrill, your crew does more
than just run this ship.
They have all sorts of interests.
Find out about them.
Get involved, and do you know
what the result will be?
They'll celebrate my
birthday every year?
Right about now?
Only if you were born in December.
Are you sure you wouldn't
like a little wine,dear?
Are you silly?
You know I can't stand the taste
of alcohol.
I'll just stick with my iced tea.
Well, here's to us.
To us.
Paul's voice: How can I ask the
poor woman for a divorce?
It would break her heart.
She's so much in love with me.
Audrey's voice: Look how he's
looking at me.
Like a lovesick puppy.
How can I tell a guy like that
to kiss off?
Paul's voice: If I could only
get her to hate me.
Naw -- that's impossible.
I'm too perfect.
Audrey's voice: It's my own fault.
I've made life too pleasant for
him.
What're you looking for?
Oh -- nothing.
Nothing.
Honey, you know someone
you oughta call when we get back
home?
Walter Perry.
Look, darling, let's --
let's just forget about all that.
Why, he was more than just
your law partner, he was your
friend.
He never asked for a cent when
he defended you.
Oh, I know that.
And he was very good to me
while you were away.
He used to call all the time --
see if I needed any money or
anything.
Believe me, Walter Perry is a
good friend of yours.
I've gotta get some air.
I'll go with you.
No!
I -- I have some things to think
about.
I understand.
I'll,
be back in five minutes.
Take ten.
Hey, man,
what's happening?
Excuse me, sir.
I was just on my way up to the
lounge.
Oh well, well.
I -- I can dig that.
You have to split.
That's cool.
Uh -- well, I'll lay some words
on you later.Give me five.
Sir, is your malaria
acting up again?
Listen, I'll go to your quarters
and get your pills for you.
Being a pal isn't gonna be easy.
Excuse me.
I wonder if it's possible for me
to cash a traveler's check?
Oh yeah, sure.
I see you didn't leave home
without them.
-- Uh, Walter Perry.
Okay.
Fifty dollar bill okay?
It's fine.
There you go.
Thank you.
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Don't shake your Christmas
present.
I don't want you to spoil the
surprise.
Paul's voice: Surprise?
I'll bet it's gonna be another
one of those blue ties.
What can it be this year,
darling?
Oh no, I'm not telling.
Audrey's voice: I was gonna get
you a monogrammed shirt, but I
forgot your name.
Don't peek at your present
while I'm in there, okay?
Oh no.
Audrey's voice: Another bottle
of that cheap perfume --
oriental wind.
The only perfume that comes with
a bowl a rice.
Well -- here it comes.
(Sound of Paul gargling)
And now.
(More gargling)
A little louder, they'd abandon ship.
It's all yours, darling.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Paul's voice: But please, just
this once, don't sing.
Audrey's voice: Mi, mi, mi, mi,
mi, mi!
Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi, mi!
Paul's voice: If we weren't at sea,
a moose would answer.
Don't look.
You know what she's gonna look
like.
-- I told ya not to look.
I can't take anymore of this.
But she's got to be the one to
ask for the divorce.
Why should I be the heavy?
Audrey's voice: I've got to do
something so terrible he'll beg
me for a divorce.
But what?
I mean -- he even likes my
singing.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Goodnight, darling.
Oh, captain!
Well, you see, I just had a few
minutes and I thought I'd do a
little needlepoint, but -- well,
I can see my two minutes are up
and I'd better go!
It's very pretty.
Well -- thank you.
You know, a lot of men
do needlepoint.
Even football players.
Do you think that maybe you could,
teach me how to do it?
Ah -- sure, sir.
Some other time.
Well, what about now?
Okay.
Uh -- well, you see, you take
the needle and you put it in
this hole and then bring it down
-- through here -- and down like
that.
I see.
And that's a stitch.
Well, thank you.
-- Like this?
Perfect.
Well look, why don't I
-- get a kit and -- maybe you
and I could work on it together.
Here, take mine.
You know, to tell you the truth,
needlepoint bores me stiff.
I got to go.
Merrill, you're supposed
to get involved with your crew.
Not stand around doing
needlepoint.
Oh, I already have a drink.
Well, you can't have too many.
That looks delicious.
Can I have some more of it?
As many as you like.
As long as you promise not to
drive back to your cabin.
We'll take a cab.
Thanks.
Here you go, sir --
guaranteed to bring on a smile.
Thanks.
Keep the change.
See?
I told you it was guaranteed.
Sure you won't have one?
Hello, Walt.
Dan!
I -- I...
At a loss for words,
counselor?
I never thought I'd see the day.
Well, no.
It's just that I,
i thought that you were still in...
In prison.
No, you see, I was paroled last
week.
You know, good behavior and that
sort a thing.
Walt!
Lila!
We were just talking about
you last night!
Really?
-- Well, I just can't get over
this.
It's great.
It's just great.
Yes, it's great.
Well, we're gonna have a
lot to talk about, huh?
Unfortunately, I made an
appointment with the barber --
and you know how they are if you
keep them waiting,
no sideburns.
But look -- promise me that
we'll get together later, okay?
Promise?
Huh?
-- Gee, this is really a
surprise.
Fantastic!
He acted a little strange,
didn't he?
Well, dear, he's a strange guy.
It's not everybody that would
let his supposed best friend go
to jail for a crime he commited.
Walt?!
Yes, Walt.
Oh no.
Lila, I had three years to
think about it.
I went over every detail of that
trial, night after night.
I memorized the transcript.
It always ended up to just one name,
good, old Walt Perry.
Dan, you can't be sure.
I wasn't.
Until now.
I had to see him face to face.
I had to see it in his eyes.
Now I know.
And he knows I know.
How much is this one?
Forty-eight dollars.
Oh, way too expensive.
Thanks anyway.
Now, you're the kinda woman
I shoulda married.
I beg your pardon?
Well, my last wife never
asked the price of anything.
Is that why you divorced her?
It was either the divorce courts
or the bankruptcy courts.
Oh, so she spent you
into divorce.
Let me put it this way.
If she didn't show up at
Tiffany's once a week, they'd
send her a get well card.
Oh -- well, thanks for the tip.
I mean, the warning.
-- Miss, do you sell jewelry?
What kind?
Expensive!
I just can't get over it,
Claire, you look fantastic.
Well, I should.
I just lost a hundred and sixty
pounds.
I divorced George.
You divorced George?
Why?
The things he did.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Oh, you can tell me.
No, I can't.
Paul's voice: For Pete's sake,
tell her.
All right, I'll tell you.
Thanks.
Every time we went out
he would embarrass me.
He'd have a couple of drinks and
he thought he was the life of
the party.
It was like being married to the
gong show.
Did George drink too much?
Judge for yourself.
At my uncle's funeral, he wore a
black lampshade.
Honey, don't ever marry a man
who drinks.
Say pal, could you tell me
the way to the nearest bar?
Thanks.
Oh no, doc, up a little higher.
A little higher, yeah.
Now to the right.
Up here?
No, more to the right.
Down two needles.
To the left.
No, no, more to the left, doc.
I don't know.
Something's off-center.
You're off-center.
I know what it is.
We forgot to hang an angel on
the tree.
How about a purser?
Man does not appreciate art.
Father, you know a lot of jokes.
Well, I don't think Vegas is
ready for me, merrill.
No, no, no.
You know, my crew is always
telling jokes and I thought that
if there was a joke that I could
come up with...
Oh, I get it.
Well, let's see.
Oh, well, the bishop told me a
couple a great ones.
But I don't think your
crew speaks Latin.
How about this?
This martian comes down from
space and he lands right in the
middle of the desert, next to
this beat up old saloon.
Well, he goes in and the first
thing he sees is the pinball
machine.
Well, the lights are flashing
and the bells are ringing like
crazy.
So,the martian goes over to
it and he says, 'hey,sweeheart,
what's a pretty girl like you
doing in a place like this?'
Funny.
Well, it is even funnier
in Latin.
All right, I'll try it.
Okay, guys.
Time to get down to some serious
business here.
Who's gonna be Santa claus
tonight?
Oh, well, I don't think
there's anything to decide.
It is my turn.
You?
A woman can't be Santa claus.
Well, why not?
I thought this was supposed to
be an equal opportunity holiday.
Okay.
Lay a 'ho-ho-ho' on us.
Ok.
'Ho-ho-ho'.
No, the world's not ready
for a soprano Santa claus.
Well,it's coming
along very well, guys.
Which reminds me of this great
joke.
It's Christmas time one year and
this martian lands in the
desert, and he goes up to this
old bar.
It's really beat up, you know?
And the first thing he sees is a
pinball machine and he goes over
and well, the lights were
flashing, the bells were going
and everything and well he says to it,
he says,now get this.
He says, 'hiya, sweetheart,
what's a pinball machine doing
in a nice place like this?
It was even funnier in Latin.
Okay, let's get back to
reality.
Who's gonna play Santa claus?
Me.
I'm the perfect Santa.
I own the Santa suit.
So -- I'm Santa.
Good luck, sir.
Well -- how am I doing?
Merrill, there are ways
of joining in,
and ways of joining in.
That bad, huh?
Worse.
Hey well, merry Christmas, crew.
Merry Christmas.
Uhh,isaac,what's in this?
Fruit juice and rum. Made from an old secret recipe.
What's the secret?
I'll have a re-fill.
Oh sure golpher.
Fruit juice.
Back to the drawing board.
Dan?
Uh?
Honey is Christmas Eve.
Just for tonight, let's forget about Walter Perry,
and the world and everything.
Let's make this the best Christmas Eve ever.
All right.
This sure beats an electric train.
Hey, do you want to exchange gifts now?
We do, we'll never make that party.
Oh, come on.
Ok, let's go.
Uh, I get you a handkerchief for your..
Oh, I'll get it.
This all right.
Dan!
Oh my god.
No.
Dan,
you knew Walter Perry was going to be on board, didn't you?
You came here for revenge.
Look Lily,
this is my business.
Your business?
Whay about me?
You weren't the only one in jail for three years.
I was in a prison of my own.
What do you think was like without you?
Dan,
if you love me, don't do this.
You know I love you.
You kill him, you kill us.
Please,dan.
Issac,
removed the dead soldier and open me a new
recruit.
Sure.
Mr.baynes.
I thought you said you
were a teetotaler.
Me?
I musta been drunk when I said it.
Isaac, what color lampshade goes
with this outfit I'm wearing?
I don't know.
What color are your socks?
Audrey, is -- is that you?
Never mind me.
Since when did you start
drinking?
I can't remember.
I'm drinking to forget.
How much have you had?
Plenty!
Say what's all this gonna cost?
Plenty!
Boy, I hope I'm seeing double.
You're going to be seeing triple
when we get to the room,
because I have a whole lotta
new stuff down there.
You expect me to pay for this?
You got it, ace.
Uh -- dear, isn't there
something you forgot to ask me
for?
It starts with a 'd'.
Yeah, you wanna dance.
Something you wanna ask me?
Yes.
Get off my foot!
More punch?
Yeah.
But this time -- tell him to put
a little fruit juice in it.
Okay.
You're complaining to me
about a bad bridge partner?
You're lucky.
You know, I once had a law partner.
He stole every penny the firm had.
Of course, he went to prison.
Well, at least, he had to
pay for it.
Yeah, he paid.
So, where's Santa?
He's supposed to be here by now.
Well, maybe his reindeers
are having a little trouble with
their radar equipment.
Yeah, that blitzen is a
lousy navigator.
Ho!
No.
Ho!
Merry Christmas, everybody!
Ho!
Ho!...
I've never seen the captain
look better.
Who writes his dialogue?
Well now, let's see
what Santa has in his bag
tonight.
Let's see...
Well, yes.
There's something for Mario.
Something for Artie, yes.
Let's see.
And...and Ben.
Let's see what we have here.
Oh, yes.
For Mitch.
And for peanut.
What's your real name peanut?
Shorty.
Right!
I'll bet it's a baseball mitt.
What about me?
Oh.
Uh -- you're...?
Tony.
Tony, that's right.
Yes.
Well now -- let's see.
Tony...
Oh -- oh,
Tony it seems that Santa is
short one present.
It's back at the north pole.
That's where your present is.
Now look, I'll run back.
I'll get it.
And -- I'll have it in your
cabin first thing in the
morning.
Tony...
Oh, no.
Poor captain stubing.
San Quentin never had a view like that one.
Dan, my boy!
Well, I've been lookin' all over
for you.
Really?
Out in the ocean?
Hey, you always were a
great kidder.
I'm not kidding now, Walt.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, don't do anything foolish.
I've already done something
foolish.
I served three years in prison
for something you did, buddy.
Dan, you-you've gotta believe me.
I didn't want it to happen.
It wasn't my fault.
I took the money, I admit it.
I was in trouble in the market.
It was serious trouble.
And I really needed that money
desperately.
You set me up.
No, I swear I didn't.
Oh look, Dan, I never thought
that you'd be convicted.
I always thought I could win you
an acquittal, and that way no
one would be hurt.
Somebody was hurt, Walt.
Dan,please...
Please?
Merry Christmas.
Dan?
Goodnight, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
Bye.
Father, did you find Tony yet?
Not yet.
Oh.
Well, we'll help you look for him.
Okay?
Thanks.
Yeah.
Tony?
Where are you?
Tony?
Go away!
You blew it!
Yes.
Yes, I did.
I apologize.
Come here.
This is for you.
Honest?
Uh-huh.
Gee, thanks!
It's the football I asked
for, isn't it?
No.
No, I'm sorry, it's not.
Uh,
it's a sextant.
It's an instrument they use to
navigate the ship.
It belonged to the captain and
his father before him.
See?
You put in there.
By holding it up to the stars,
they could always tell where
they were going.
The captain used it in the
second world war.
I know it's kinda beat up but,
this sextant means a lot to him.
He wants you to have it.
I'm sorry it's not what you
asked for.
Sometimes we don't get what we
want for Christmas.
No.
I used to ask for parents, but I
never got 'em.
Well, that's,2
a big order, for Santa to fill.
It don't matter.
I don't need a family.
I got a real big one with father
Mike and the guys.
Yeah.
It's neat.
Wait'll I show the guys!
Thanks, captain.
I mean, Santa.
We're home.
You can take off your lampshade
now.
Is that all you bought?
Why didn't you fill the whole
room?
I couldn't.
Your credit card broke.
That means I'll have to
pay cash for my lampshades.
This is just the start.
Because I'm gonna buy all new
furniture for the living room.
Then I'll buy matching
whoopie cushions.
And a brand new rolls Royce.
Okay, then every morning
I'll go down to the office in a
clown suit.
You know something?
No, what?
You're funny.
You know something?
You're very beautiful.
Aw, put on your lampshade
and give me a kiss.
All: Merry Christmas, captain.
What?
What is this?
Well, frankly, captain, we
were feeling kind of sorry for
ourselves.
Oh, you know, sir.
I mean, it's fun to spend
Christmas with the passengers,
but -- it's not the same as
spending it with your family.
And then we got to thinking,
well we don't just
have one family, we've got two.
And -- well, you're not
just the captain to us, sir.
You're the head of the family.
Our family.
And why shouldn't our
family spend Christmas together?
You see,
sometimes we try too hard to,
get what,we've had all along.
I,i think that i'm
allergic to this beard.
I want to say something to all
of you.
I'm proud to have you on my
crew.
I'm even prouder,
to count you among my friends.
Oh, this darn beard.
Sir,this is for you.
It's from all of us.
I -- I thought we had a
rule that we'd never exchange
Christmas presents.
Oh, sir, we thought just
this once.
A rule is a rule, Mr. Smith.
But sometimes rules were made
to be broken.
Merry Christmas!
Why, thank you, sir.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you, sir.
Come on, everybody.
(Passengers sing 'Noel.')
Very beautiful, mrs.Baynes.
Thank you very much.
Oh boy, I can taste that
Turkey already.
Didn't you tell him?
Oh, the captain said there might
be some rain and he wondered if
you'd mind going topside and
changing the regular flags for
the rubber flags.
Rubber flags?
Good evening.
There's the captain's table,
over there.
Dan!
Get lost, Perry.
I've gotta talk to you.
Honey...
It's all right, sweetheart.
Now look, you've done everything
you can do.
And just stay away from me.
Keep outta my life.
Dan listen, you gave me a
gift last night,my life.
Now, I wanna give you something
in return.
I,I've contacted the
police in Los Angeles.
When we get back I'm gonna turn
myself in,
make a full confession.
And -- I also wrote to the state
bar commission.
You'll be practicing law again
very soon.
Walt, thank you.
Merry Christmas, Dan.
Merry Christmas.
Good evening.
Merry Christmas.
Good evening.
Hi.
Beautiful dress.
Thank you.
It's a beautiful table.
It's a beautiful life.
Father lewicki, some of the
guys collected some stuff you
might like at the orphanage.
Sports equipment, books, stuff
like that...
All right!
Wow!
We'd love it...
Thanks.
Well, where do we send it, father.
Give it to the captain.
He can bring it when he comes
next time.
Captain stubing?
Yes.
He comes every month.
No, he-he must have me confused
with some other captain.
You're crazy.
He took us to the ballgame last
month.
Captain, you wouldn't
have anything to do with that
mysterious man who's been
sending these kids on a cruise
every year, would you?
You know, the one with 'more
dollars than sense'?
Bah!
Humbug!
Come on, let's eat ourselves a
Turkey.
Hey, thank you for a
wonderful trip.
Oh.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I'll say one thing for you,
mr.barton
you sure seem a lot happier than
when you came aboard.
You bet I am.
You know what today is?
Yes, sir.
Monday.
Nope.
Today is the first day,
of the rest of my life.
'Bye.
Bye-bye.
Oh, darling, I'm so happy.
Me, too.
I've got a confession to make.
When I came on this cruise I --
I was hoping you'd ask me for a
divorce.
Really?
Well, I has hoping the same
thing.
You're kidding?
This cruise really changed us.
Yes.
We're two completely different
people now.
(Singing scales)
Thanks for everything,
captain.
We had a good time.
Here.
From us kids.
Thanks for uh -- the trip.
Champagne?
Now, how did you kids get your
hands on this bottle of
champagne?
Where there's a will,
there's a way.
Let's go, you guys.
I guess that's will on the
bottom and way on top.