1 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,967 "Love 2 00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,596 exciting and new. 3 00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:20,308 Come aboard, 4 00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:25,902 we're expecting you. 5 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:31,027 Love, 6 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,954 life's sweetest reward 7 00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:39,004 let if flow, 8 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,000 it floats back you. 9 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,634 The love boat, 10 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:51,303 soon we'll be making another run 11 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,804 the love boat, 12 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:59,308 promises something for everyone. 13 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,272 Set a course for adventure, 14 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:07,782 your mind on a new romance. 15 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:11,279 And love, 16 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:15,372 won't hurt anymore. 17 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:19,410 It's an open smile, 18 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:23,996 on a friendly shore. 19 00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:28,463 It's love. 20 00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:33,886 Welcome aboard it's love." 21 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,203 Julie: Hello, welcome aboard... 22 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,406 Flanders: So long, rat race...And hello fun! 23 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,707 Julie: Welcome aboard, Mr...? 24 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:04,370 Flanders: Flanders. 25 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,207 Donald m. 26 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,381 What time do the festivities start? 27 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,419 Julie: Well, as soon as we assign you your cabin... 28 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:08,963 Flanders: Okay. 29 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:09,745 Julie: Let's see. 30 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,758 F-131 -- oh, it's a lovely one... 31 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,590 Flanders: Who cares? 32 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:13,684 I'm never gonna be in there anyway. 33 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,878 I'm here for sun and fun. 34 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:15,678 Can I swim now? 35 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,350 Julie: Absolutely. 36 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,218 Flanders: That's funny, 'cause I didn't know how when I left home this morning. 37 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,675 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha..... 38 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:23,806 Doc: I'll bet he has a good time once he comes out of his shell. 39 00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:24,853 Julie: Yeah... 40 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:25,306 Gopher: Did you guys see a dog come on board? 41 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:26,395 Julie: A dog?? 42 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:26,979 Gopher: Yeah. 43 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:27,773 Security called. 44 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,726 One of their guard dogs is missing. 45 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,896 Doc: I heard some barking, but it was only captain stubing. 46 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,855 Julie: Oooh... 47 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,065 Gopher: Well, I tell you, his bark is worse than his bite... 48 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,905 But I don't know, he never actually bit me. 49 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,082 Julie: Well, he may. 50 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,909 He's extra testy because his father's coming on board. 51 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:46,746 And I heard that he makes our sea dog seem like a pussycat... 52 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,213 Gopher: Then, maybe his dad'll bite me... 53 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:52,924 Julie: Oh-oh, battle stations..... 54 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,759 Stubing, sr.: Captain merrill stubing, senior, reporting. 55 00:02:58,845 --> 00:02:59,795 Julie: Welcome aboard, sir. 56 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,348 Doc: How do you do, sir? 57 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:01,600 Captain: Father... 58 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:05,731 Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to pipe you aboard...Sir. 59 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,810 Doc: Glad to have you aboard, sir. 60 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,395 Gopher: Anything you want, sir. 61 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,809 Yeoman purser Smith, sir... 62 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,818 Gopher, sir. 63 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,820 Stubing, sr.: Merrill, are you going to keep your crew at this fever pitch for the entire cruise? 64 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,113 Captain: Well, they're only doing their jobs, sir. 65 00:03:17,196 --> 00:03:18,486 Stubing, sr.: Will you all relax? 66 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,453 I'm not a captain anymore. 67 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,953 I'm just a passenger, here for a little vacation. 68 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,457 Now, stow my gear, ready my cabin, and I'll meet you in your quarters at thirteen hundred hours! 69 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,291 Look alive... 70 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,206 Captain: Yes, sir... 71 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:41,801 Now you know why my first two words were 'mommy' and...Hey -- hey -- ! 72 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,654 Beth: Toby -- ! 73 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,480 Toby: Beth -- ! 74 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,364 Beth: Oh, it's so good to see you! 75 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,481 You look incredible! 76 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:55,527 Toby: Oh...thank you... 77 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,110 Beth: And I love your hair. 78 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,105 Gopher: Ms. Chapman and Ms. Luffner. 79 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,567 Gopher: You're on promenade deck, 204 and 205. 80 00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:01,817 Beth: Oh, I can't believe we used to call you 'tubby Toby' in college. 81 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:02,408 Beth: You must have lost thirty pounds since graduation! 82 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,332 Toby: No, thirty-five. 83 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,160 But I can't relax for a second. 84 00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:09,455 There are thousands of hot fudge sundaes out there with my name on them. 85 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,000 Gopher: I'm a banana split man myself... 86 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:11,714 But as I was saying, that's 204 and 205. 87 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:12,423 Beth: Oh, how did you lose it? 88 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:12,882 Stillman? 89 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:13,381 Atkins? 90 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,131 Or liquid protein? 91 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,512 Toby: No, it's my own diet. 92 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,548 The triple d. 93 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,471 Desperation, disgust, divorce... 94 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,009 Beth: Huh! 95 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:19,592 You mean, you and Fred? 96 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,966 The marriage is pffttt?! 97 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,222 Toby: Yeah. 98 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,683 Not only are Fred and I pffttt, but Neal and I are thhhhrrrr! 99 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,354 Beth: Neal? 100 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:26,891 Two marriages in five years? 101 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,015 Toby! 102 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,851 Gopher: Good ol' 204 and 205. 103 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,726 Regina: Beth! 104 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:31,652 Toby! 105 00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:37,279 Beth/toby: Regina!! 106 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,700 Regina: Tubby Toby, what happened to you? 107 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,659 Gopher: Two divorces and thirty-five pounds went just like that. 108 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,699 Beth: Oh, this is just like the good old days! 109 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,993 Regina: Whoever thought of this reunion was a genius. 110 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:46,907 Beth: Oh, it was your idea. 111 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,495 Regina: How about that? 112 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,369 Gopher: Did I ever tell you about the time I bit a bowling ball in half? 113 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,826 Beth: Oh, we're gonna have such a great time. 114 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,666 Regina: Well, what are we waiting for? 115 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:56,301 Toby: Well, we're waiting for this clown to give us our rooms... 116 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,216 Gopher: Now, let's see... 117 00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,471 Captain: ...Uh, keep it at twelve knots, Mr. Walters. 118 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:42,588 And call me when we're twenty-five miles out... 119 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,385 Right... 120 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,309 Well, dad, what do you think about the pacific Princess? 121 00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:47,968 Stubing, sr.: Amazing. 122 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,386 Captain: Why, thank you... 123 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,604 Stubing, sr.: Amazing that we've been at sea forty-five minutes, 124 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:55,765 and you've been on the bridge exactly four. 125 00:05:55,855 --> 00:06:00,855 Captain: Now, look, dad, I...Happen to know what I'm doing, and so does my deputy captain. 126 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:04,243 Stubing, sr.: As senior officer, I never trusted my ship to anyone. 127 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,332 We didn't win the big war sitting in our cabins. 128 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,288 We were right there in the thick of battle. 129 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,959 Captain: Well...it just happens that it's been a long time 130 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:17,459 since a cruise ship has been attacked off the California coast... 131 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,513 Come in! 132 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,208 Gopher: Uh, pardon me, sir. 133 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,007 Could I speak to you a moment? 134 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:23,881 Alone? 135 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:24,796 Stubing, sr.: Oh, that's all right. 136 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,394 You can talk to me in front of my son... 137 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,930 Captain: What is it, Mr. Smith? 138 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:37,305 Gopher: Well, sir, we're having a little problem with the number two, e...N...G...I...N...E... 139 00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:40,816 Stubing, sr.: Well, then, let's f...I...X...It. 140 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,650 Captain: Dad...please! 141 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,315 Stubing, sr.: You don't have to say 'please' to me. 142 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,494 It's a pleasure to help. 143 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,872 What kind of an engine do you have...? 144 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,331 Gopher: A broken one... 145 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,326 Int. 146 00:06:53,412 --> 00:06:57,962 Flanders: "Do, do, do, do, do, do..." 147 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:10,851 Well, aren't you a nice big doggie. 148 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,720 What are you doing on this ship? 149 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:20,651 ...uh, look now, I'm just gonna take a little swim here... 150 00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:21,361 Hey... 151 00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,365 Hello out there! 152 00:07:32,451 --> 00:07:33,541 Help! 153 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,183 Toby: Aren't you changed yet? 154 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,798 Regina: I was just reading. 155 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,135 Beth: Well, don't you professors get enough of that stuff in the classroom? 156 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,680 Let's go get some sunshine. 157 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,433 Regina: Tennyson is very good for the soul. 158 00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:57,386 Toby: Well, I don't need something to help my soul -- 159 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,056 I need something to help my love life! 160 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,395 Beth: Right! 161 00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:02,059 Hey, let's play romance roulette. 162 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,188 Regina: Oh, no! 163 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,284 No! 164 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,938 Toby: Oh, that's a great idea! 165 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,528 We've got a whole boatload of guys to play it with. 166 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:10,324 Beth: Uhm-hmm. 167 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,736 Regina: Oh, no, romance roulette. 168 00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:12,784 Come on. 169 00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,037 I thought we gave up that nonsense in college. 170 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,959 Toby: Hey, what is wrong with picking up a guy, having a little fun, 171 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,419 and then dumping him? 172 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,498 Men do it all the time... 173 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,754 Regina: Look, I am not about to make a play for some total stranger, 174 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:27,967 just because he happens to blurt out some silly word we pick. 175 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:29,969 Beth: We're playing the game and that's all there is to it. 176 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,551 And, Regina, you're wearing one of my suits. 177 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:36,097 The only guy you can attract in this thing is Jacques cousteau... 178 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,482 See you in the deep end. 179 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:53,946 Toby: Then, it's settled. 180 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,163 The code word is 'screwdriver'. 181 00:08:56,244 --> 00:09:00,624 Now, the first three guys that come up to the bar and ask for a screwdriver are the ones we try to pick up, right? 182 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,326 Beth: Right. 183 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:03,165 Toby: Okay, who leads off? 184 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,291 Regina: You two start... 185 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,667 Toby: No, no, let's be Democratic about this. 186 00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:07,804 We'll go by age... 187 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,300 You first, Beth... 188 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,882 Beth: Oh, youngest first... 189 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,338 Doc: Mrs. Wilson wants a refill. 190 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,467 Orange juice and vodka. 191 00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,473 Beth: Oh, orange juice and vodka. 192 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:16,604 That's my man. 193 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:17,641 Toby: No cheating. 194 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,313 He has to say screwdriver. 195 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,022 Beth: Okay... 196 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,649 Oooh, that looks delicious. 197 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,531 What is that? 198 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,648 Doc: It's...orange juice and vodka... 199 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:31,606 Beth: Oh... 200 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,196 Well, isn't there a name for that drink? 201 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,122 Doc: Yes... 202 00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:38,449 It's... 203 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,116 Morton: Can I have a screwdriver, please? 204 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,155 Doc: Of course! 205 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,038 That's what you call it! 206 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,334 A screwdriver. 207 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:49,377 Beth: Now you tell me! 208 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:54,723 ...haven't we met someplace before? 209 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,222 Morton: I don't know... 210 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,724 Have you ever been to hackensack? 211 00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,675 Beth: Hackensack? 212 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,556 ...well, why don't we sit down and we'll talk about it... 213 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:06,055 Isaac: Sir -- your drink. 214 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,017 Morton: Oh, thanks... 215 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:10,737 Toby: I don't mean to be forward, but can I pick you up? 216 00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:13,488 Isaac: Can blue serge pick up lint? 217 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:14,411 Doc: Excuse my friend. 218 00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:16,868 He's not as subtle as I am... 219 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,829 Want to see my cabin? 220 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,041 Man #1: I'd like a Tom Collins. 221 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,212 Man #2: Scotch and soda. 222 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,710 Man #3: And I'll have that drink with orange juice. 223 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,552 Uh, you know...An orange blossom. 224 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,509 Isaac: Hey, frank -- you finally showed up to fix my sink. 225 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,341 Frank: I've been busy in the engine room. 226 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,885 The captain's father was helping me. 227 00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:36,758 Isaac: Mmm... 228 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:39,064 Frank: All right, let me have a look... 229 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,178 Frank (v.O.): Big deal. 230 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,394 You coulda fixed this yourself. 231 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,684 Lemme have a screwdriver... 232 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,109 Regina: Allow me. 233 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,691 I'm Regina Parker... 234 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,653 Frank: Thanks... 235 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,078 Flanders: Okay, but do me a favor, will you? 236 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,923 Dial somebody and tell them there's a dog in my room..... 237 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:06,984 Gopher: Wow! 238 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:07,849 Julie! 239 00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:09,395 What a super gown! 240 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:10,648 Julie: Thank you. 241 00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:13,519 Gopher: You're at the captain's table tonight, aren't you? 242 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,647 Julie: That's right. 243 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,153 Where is captain stubing? 244 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:18,815 Gopher: Oh, he's probably hiding from his father. 245 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,034 Maybe he's in disguise... 246 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,994 Julie: Gopher...I'll see you later. 247 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,954 Gopher: Have a good time... 248 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:28,963 Gopher: Hello, captain stubing. 249 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:29,499 Gopher: Captain stubing. 250 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,382 Captain: Gopher... 251 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,539 Stubing, sr.: If you'd have stayed at the wheel, we wouldn't be a half of degree off course. 252 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,957 Captain: Dad, that is being controlled by the computer. 253 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:36,336 Stubing, sr.: Computer? 254 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,552 Computer? 255 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,131 There's not a computer made that can match the human mind... 256 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,637 Do you suppose Columbus used a computer? 257 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,350 Captain: Well, look, I'm not trying to find the new world; I just wanna get to Mexico. 258 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,392 Stubing, sr.: Eight to five you don't make it. 259 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,807 Captain: Ah, well, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 260 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:55,016 I'd like to have you meet my father...Captain stubing, sr. 261 00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,027 Man: How do you do? 262 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,689 Julie: That's the captain's chair. 263 00:12:58,777 --> 00:12:59,737 Stubing, sr.: Oh? 264 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,490 Captain: Dad...I'm the captain of this ship. 265 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,993 Stubing, sr.: I'm your father everywhere... 266 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,036 You should have seen him as a little boy. 267 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,043 He had curls down to here... 268 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,916 Toby: So what made you decide to become a ship's doctor? 269 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:20,974 Doc: I always had a mission in life; To heal the sick and tend to the cute. 270 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:29,885 Beth: ...And two steaks medium rare...And sour cream and chives with our baked potatoes... 271 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:34,725 And your best bottle of cabernet sauvignon. 272 00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:38,073 Morton: And an extra breadstick, please... 273 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:43,700 Beth: Here's to you, darling... 274 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:48,581 Your other hand, Morton... 275 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,291 Morton: They're never gonna believe this at the office... 276 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,422 Julie: Well, yes, part of my job is organizing social activities, 277 00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,302 but I clear everything with the captain 278 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,760 man: Seems you run a tight ship, stubing. 279 00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,089 Captain: Oh, yes. 280 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,054 It's a demanding job, but...Well, as president of a bank, 281 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,885 you know that there always has to be just one man who is the final authority 282 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,772 stubing, sr.: Elbows, merrill... 283 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,775 Isaac: Here's your Irish coffee. 284 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:22,898 Regina: Oh, thanks, Isaac... 285 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,987 Isaac: Say, how come you're not up there dancing with your friends? 286 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:29,493 Regina: Oh, I...I thought I'd stay here with lord Byron. 287 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,787 Isaac: Oh...i guess I should have brought two Irish coffees. 288 00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,461 Regina: Yeah... 289 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:41,591 Uh, Isaac -- you know that plumber that fixed your sink today...Frank... 290 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,802 Isaac: Frank vallone? 291 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,301 Regina: That's him... 292 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:47,013 How would I uh...Get in touch with him? 293 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,644 Isaac: Oh, you're having a plumbing problem? 294 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,311 Regina: Yes... 295 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,468 Isaac: Listen, just dial 1007. 296 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,308 He's on duty tonight. 297 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,813 Regina: Thanks, Isaac... 298 00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:56,734 Isaac: No problem... 299 00:14:59,106 --> 00:14:59,766 Thank you... 300 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,167 Gopher (p.A.): Good morning, everyone. 301 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:28,467 This is the start of another fun-filled day aboard the pacific Princess. 302 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,642 We hope you had a restful night... 303 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,311 Breakfast is now being served in the coral dining room, 304 00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:39,810 and we have a full schedule of events planned to make this an unforgettable cruise... 305 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:46,236 Flanders: I'd need a lobotomy to forget this one..... 306 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,938 Just taking a breath of fresh air... 307 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,363 See you later... 308 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:28,781 Get you own phone..... 309 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:35,869 Room service... 310 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:51,758 Isaac: Hey, doc, that lady Toby sure came on to you strong yesterday... 311 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,564 Doc: Yeah, and I went to sea to get away from all that. 312 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,933 Julie: Good morning, captain stubing... 313 00:16:59,017 --> 00:17:02,937 Captain: There won't be any good mornings until my father gets off this ship. 314 00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,271 The man is driving me crazy. 315 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:09,067 Now, look, I'm depending on all of you to keep him busy with activities today. 316 00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,703 Just get him out of my hair... 317 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:14,454 Don't say it..... 318 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,500 Stubing, sr.: Merrill -- now what are you doing here? 319 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,460 You can't run a ship from the lido deck. 320 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,630 Captain: Uh, yes, well, I was just on my way to the bridge, sir. 321 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,040 Stubing, sr.: Oh, okay, I'll... 322 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:29,968 Julie: Just my luck to find a young, handsome ping pong partner. 323 00:17:30,048 --> 00:17:31,928 Stubing, sr.: Oh, wait, I'm afraid you don't understand. 324 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:32,509 Julie: It's all right. 325 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:32,803 I'll serve. 326 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:33,465 Okay. 327 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,802 You ready? 328 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,347 Stubing, sr.: Oh... 329 00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:40,640 Julie: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I need to learn to keep my eye on the ball... 330 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,306 Are you all right? 331 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,483 Stubing, sr.: I'm fine. 332 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,521 Now, if you'll excuse me, i'm headed for the bridge. 333 00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,145 Doc: Oh, wait! 334 00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,191 How would you like a free blood-pressure test? 335 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:49,935 Stubing, sr.: There's nothing wrong with my blood pressure. 336 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,447 Julie: Well, how 'bout some juice? 337 00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,108 Stubing, sr.: I don't want any juice. 338 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,316 Julie: Orange or tomato? 339 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,025 Stubing, sr.: I don't... 340 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:56,986 Doc: I'm awfully sorry. 341 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:57,826 Let me get that. 342 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,410 Stubing, sr: Please, please, please! 343 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,995 Does all this attention have anything to do with keeping me away from my son?? 344 00:18:03,081 --> 00:18:04,291 Isaac: We're not too subtle, huh? 345 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,844 Stubing, sr.: Well, sometimes, to get an old man's attention, 346 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:11,549 you gotta hit him with a two-by-four...Or a glass of tomato juice.... 347 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:12,552 Carry on, kids. 348 00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,513 I've got a date with some sea salt and soap. 349 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,553 Isaac: I'll get that for you. 350 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,136 Stubing, sr.: It's all right, it's all right... 351 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,851 You have your duties...I'll find my way around...Anywhere but the bridge, correct? 352 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,347 ...that's okay. 353 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:27,515 I'm sure that my son merrill is capable of running us aground without my help... 354 00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:31,318 Julie: Well, mission accomplished, huh? 355 00:18:31,401 --> 00:18:31,741 Isaac: Yeah. 356 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,359 Doc: Yeah. 357 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,034 Gopher: Hey, you guys! 358 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:34,531 You guys, I need some help. 359 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,573 A passenger just called and said he's been trapped in his cabin all night. 360 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:38,988 Isaac: Well, get a locksmith. 361 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,036 Gopher: It won't work... 362 00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,038 We need a dog catcher. 363 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:42,660 Isaac: Huh...? 364 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,541 Gopher: It's that security guard dog. 365 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,004 He must have sneaked on board. 366 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,094 Julie: Well, what are we gonna do about it? 367 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,958 Dogs aren't allowed on board. 368 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,677 Julie: Ohhh! 369 00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:57,428 Would you like to tell him he's not allowed on board...? 370 00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,760 Toby: Okay, let's hear it! 371 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,847 You weren't at dinner last night, we haven't seen you all day... 372 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,563 Now, this plumber of yours must be pretty hot stuff. 373 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:06,564 Beth: Yeah. 374 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,685 Come on, tell us about the 'prince of pipes.' 375 00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,942 Regina: There is very little to tell you... 376 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:14,074 His name is frank vallone, an ex-marine from Baltimore... 377 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:22,413 Toby: Oh, he's just my type -- tall, dark and brutal. 378 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,754 Beth: You mean, nothing's happened? 379 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,420 Regina: Well, I told you -- I can't see him because he's on call. 380 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,249 Toby: Oh, he's on call -- well, I'll call then. 381 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,125 Regina: Oh, no. 382 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:32,091 What are you doing? 383 00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,550 Beth: If he's a plumber, let him plumb! 384 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:34,760 Regina: Look, don't worry about me. 385 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,050 I've got lord Byron. 386 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:36,763 Toby: Byron? 387 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,682 Oh... 388 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,049 Does Tennyson know you're cheating on him? 389 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,596 Beth: We're playing the game, Regina, and so are you, remember? 390 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,430 Toby: Operator? 391 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,894 What's the number for maintenance? 392 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:44,934 Regina: 1007... 393 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,191 Look, you really don't have to do this, you know. 394 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,403 Toby/beth: We know... 395 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:55,605 Toby: Maintenance? 396 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:59,114 Yes, this is cabin 206, promenade deck... 397 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,787 Yeah, I dropped my ring down the sink... 398 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,789 Thanks. 399 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,120 Beth: Ah, it's just like a romantic novel... 400 00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:08,464 'The wench and the wrench. 401 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:09,500 Toby/beth: Bye!..... 402 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,645 P.j.: Stop right there, buster. 403 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,650 Galley's off limits to passengers. 404 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:34,822 Stubing, sr.: I beg your pardon? 405 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,900 P.j.: You heard what I said. 406 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,494 Now get the barnacles off your hull and make waves! 407 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,240 Stubing, sr.: Trim your pipes! 408 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,661 You sound like a beached tugboat. 409 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,330 I've had a small mishap and i'm looking for some sea salt for this stain. 410 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:52,670 P.j.: What do you know about sea salt? 411 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,171 P.j.: Don't tell me what sailors know. 412 00:20:55,253 --> 00:20:57,133 I've been at sea for forty years. 413 00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:01,134 Stubing, sr.: Well, in that case, you should know how to address a captain when you see one! 414 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,508 P.j.: My captain is merrill stubing, Jr. 415 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,675 And when I see him, I call him 'sir'... 416 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,724 Here's your sea salt, buster...! 417 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,518 Stubing, sr.: I've never heard of such insubordination. 418 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,732 Do not be surprised if this isn't your last voyage. 419 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,234 P.j.: Ah, blow it out your ear! 420 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:18,896 They're casting me adrift after this trip, anyway... 421 00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:22,106 Mandatory retirement. 422 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:25,907 Stubing, sr.: I know what you mean...I was recently piped ashore myself. 423 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,163 P.j.: How you handling it? 424 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,004 Miss the sea? 425 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,869 Stubing, sr.: That's a silly question... 426 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,116 P.j.: Isn't it something? 427 00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:36,587 They throw us out for fish bait just when we're in our prime. 428 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,260 Stubing, sr.: Yeah... 429 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:43,048 P.j.: I don't know what's left for me, except to go and be a burden to my kids... 430 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,045 Stubing, sr.: I know what you mean... 431 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,348 P.j.: Powerful onions...Got to me. 432 00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:52,063 Stubing, sr.: Yeah, I understand... 433 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,064 P.j.: By the way, I'm p.J. Muldoon. 434 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,567 But don't get any fancy ideas about my p.J.'S. 435 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,400 Stubing, sr.: I'm merrill stubing, sr. 436 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,195 But you can call me stubby... 437 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:08,200 P.j.: Funny, that's just what I was gonna call you... 438 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,365 Stubing, sr.: P.J. 439 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:13,793 P.j.: Stubby...I'll be derned, he does have a father... 440 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,554 Frank: Are you sure you dropped your ring down the drain? 441 00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,221 I had the trap off. 442 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:24,970 Regina: I thought I was sure. 443 00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:28,852 I -- I mean, this hand was -- was just as bare as this...Hand... 444 00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:31,100 Frank: Oh, well, here's your problem... 445 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,943 You're wearing one of those famous Mexican jumping rings... 446 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:39,729 Regina: Ha, ha, ha...I'm sorry about the false alarm. 447 00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,936 Frank: Oh, hey, forget it... 448 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:46,778 Well, I better shove off. 449 00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:48,275 Hey, Byron... 450 00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,616 That's good stuff... 451 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,121 Regina: You've studied Byron? 452 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:55,003 Frank: A little...I used to write some stuff, too. 453 00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:59,752 But when you're scrounging for your daily pasta, poetry isn't exactly your main order of business. 454 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:01,296 Regina: I'd love to read it... 455 00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:02,549 Your poetry... 456 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,301 Frank: Oh, come on... 457 00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:07,182 Regina: No, frank -- I'm -- I'm a -- i'm a college professor. 458 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:08,970 English literature is my specialty. 459 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,814 I -- I would love to read your poetry... 460 00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:18,610 Please? 461 00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:26,318 Regina: Well...maybe I'll meet you up there...Sometime... 462 00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:28,534 Frank: Yeah, sometime... 463 00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:29,485 Who knows? 464 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:34,374 It's a big ship...But it's a small world... 465 00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,077 Bye... 466 00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:55,562 Gopher: Don't worry, Mr. Flanders, we'll have you out of there in no time! 467 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:56,522 Flanders (off screen): Yeah, well, hurry up! 468 00:23:56,601 --> 00:23:58,231 I'm starving to death here! 469 00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:01,691 Isaac: Listen, while the dog's busy eating the meat, you make a dash for the door. 470 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,073 Flanders (off screen): Okay, okay...! 471 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,590 Gopher: Oh...mr. Flanders, we'll be right back. 472 00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:27,722 We're just gonna get him some dessert. 473 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,072 P.j.: Gin. 474 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,367 I got you on a double schnide. 475 00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:56,911 Stubing, sr.: That's $25,000 I owe you. 476 00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,655 P.j.: I love gin. 477 00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:00,207 Stubing, sr.: Me, too. 478 00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:01,580 Would you like another? 479 00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,416 P.j.: One's enough... 480 00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,881 It's time for you to haul it out of my galley. 481 00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:06,551 I've got spuds to peel. 482 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:07,920 Stubing, sr.: Don't you have two peelers? 483 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,876 P.j.: Huh? 484 00:25:09,966 --> 00:25:11,256 Stubing, sr.: I should know how to peel potatoes. 485 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,263 I've commanded entire ships... 486 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,470 Thank you, madam... 487 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:37,788 Regina: Frank... 488 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,039 Frank: Hi... 489 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,790 Regina: I was hoping you'd be here tonight... 490 00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:48,587 Frank: I was hoping you'd be hoping. 491 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:51,472 Regina: Did you bring one of your poems? 492 00:25:51,549 --> 00:25:54,929 Frank: I...might have one here somewhere... 493 00:25:55,011 --> 00:25:58,681 Regina: Cough it up, or I'll have to frisk you... 494 00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,175 Frank: I found it... 495 00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:06,984 You don't want to hear this. 496 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:07,765 Regina: Oh, I do. 497 00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:13,317 I do, really... 498 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:18,025 Frank: By day I wrestle steel and engines purr beneath my deft wrenches. 499 00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,288 But men are fools... 500 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,660 At night I wrestle words 501 00:26:22,747 --> 00:26:28,167 trying to say, "I love you" with unfamiliar tools... 502 00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:30,133 That's it... 503 00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:32,303 It's rotten, right? 504 00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:34,222 Regina: It's beautiful. 505 00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:36,851 May I keep it? 506 00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,008 Frank: Yeah, sure... 507 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:40,847 Uh, but not for free... 508 00:26:40,932 --> 00:26:43,852 A poet has to get paid, or he isn't a legit poet. 509 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:45,515 Regina: Name your price. 510 00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:50,653 Frank: It's yours for...For a dance... 511 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:53,364 Regina: What'll we do for music? 512 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:57,025 Frank: Make our own music. 513 00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:20,433 Morton: One, two, three -- turn two, three... 514 00:27:20,513 --> 00:27:23,733 One, two, three -- turn two, three.... 515 00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:26,348 Beth: Oh, Morton, I love the way you dance. 516 00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:28,556 Where did you learn to move that way? 517 00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:29,556 Morton: At the 'y'. 518 00:27:29,647 --> 00:27:31,517 Beth: Oh, kiss me, kiss me. 519 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:33,688 I can't wait another minute. 520 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,237 Morton: I can't believe this is happening to me. 521 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,411 Beth: Kiss me, Morton. 522 00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,449 Morton: I'll be right with you..... 523 00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:52,211 Beth: Oh..... 524 00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:58,215 P.j.: Wasn't that a wonderful movie? 525 00:27:58,301 --> 00:27:59,091 Stubing, sr.: I don't know. 526 00:27:59,177 --> 00:28:00,217 It was a little too mushy for my taste. 527 00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:03,473 People don't just fall in love like that in one day... 528 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:06,766 P.j.: Yeah...you're right... 529 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:31,081 Regina: A penny for your thoughts... 530 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,460 A dollar...? 531 00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:39,088 Frank: I was just thinking... 532 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:42,345 It's amazing how things happen... 533 00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:51,809 If -- if I hadn't been fixing Isaac's sink...And you hadn't handed me a screwdriver...We would never have met. 534 00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,976 Regina: ...Fate... 535 00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:56,645 Frank: I haven't had a crush on a teacher in years. 536 00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:59,704 Regina: Oh, I bet you say that to all the passengers. 537 00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:05,159 Frank: I've been on this ship for seven years...And this is the first time I've ever... 538 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,793 'Met' a passenger... 539 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:15,213 Regina: I...should be getting back to my cabin... 540 00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:20,175 Frank: Yeah, and I should get to work... 541 00:29:24,429 --> 00:29:26,389 Oh, the hell with my work... 542 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,893 Regina: Oh, the hell with my cabin... 543 00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:32,805 Doc: Okay, believe me, this is gonna work. 544 00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:35,356 There's enough tranquilizer in here to put an elephant to sleep. 545 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,030 Now, it's not gonna hurt him...But it'll put him out like... 546 00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:41,320 Captain: Well, if it works, I'll try it on my father... 547 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:50,040 Gopher: This should do it, Mr. Flanders. 548 00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:00,671 Mr. Flanders: Room service... 549 00:30:03,426 --> 00:30:05,046 Did he eat it yet? 550 00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:06,046 Captain: I can't tell... 551 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,057 Doc: It's the best chopped sirloin on board. 552 00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:09,139 He'll eat it. 553 00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:10,434 Flanders: Thanks a lot, guys. 554 00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:13,897 That was delicious... 555 00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,808 Captain: Flanders is eating it..... 556 00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:28,079 Flanders: Oh... 557 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:47,388 Stubing, sr.: Well, you look shipshape today... 558 00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:49,140 P.j.: I know -- I'm shaped like a ship. 559 00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:50,392 Stubing, sr.: Oh, come on... 560 00:30:50,473 --> 00:30:52,933 You're a very attractive woman, p.J. 561 00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:56,147 P.j.: You better see doc and get your eyes checked. 562 00:30:56,229 --> 00:30:58,359 Stubing, sr.: You just don't know how to take a compliment, do you? 563 00:30:58,439 --> 00:30:59,609 P.j.: Yes, I do. 564 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:01,281 Try me... 565 00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:03,109 Stubing, sr.: Well, I like your... 566 00:31:03,194 --> 00:31:04,454 P.j.: My what? 567 00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,609 Stubing, sr.: You didn't let me finish! 568 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:11,288 P.j.: Was it that hard for you to think of something nice to say? 569 00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:13,409 Stubing, sr.: I like your hairdo! 570 00:31:13,496 --> 00:31:15,366 P.j.: That shows how little you know... 571 00:31:15,456 --> 00:31:17,626 The sea air makes my hair frizzy! 572 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:19,129 Stubing, sr.: You're impossible! 573 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,800 P.j.: So are you! 574 00:31:20,878 --> 00:31:21,878 Gopher: Hi, sir... 575 00:31:21,963 --> 00:31:23,843 Stubing, sr.: Hi... 576 00:31:23,923 --> 00:31:25,133 Gopher: Hi, p.J. 577 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,176 P.j.: Hi, gopher. 578 00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,759 Gopher: You sure look nice today. 579 00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:29,474 P.j.: Thank you... 580 00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:33,144 Gopher: Mmm, my favorite... 581 00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:36,484 Carry on. 582 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,861 Stubing, sr.: ....Now, do you see how easy it was to take a compliment? 583 00:31:39,939 --> 00:31:41,269 P.j.: It's different coming from him. 584 00:31:41,357 --> 00:31:42,977 Stubing, sr.: Why? 585 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:44,647 P.j.: 'Cause it doesn't matter as much. 586 00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,776 Stubing, sr.: I didn't hear you. 587 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,823 P.j.: You going deaf, you old buzzard? 588 00:31:48,906 --> 00:31:51,486 I said, it doesn't matter as much coming from him! 589 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:55,786 Stubing, sr.: You mean it matters more from me...? 590 00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,672 P.j.: I didn't say that... 591 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,789 Stubing, sr.: That's the nicest thing you ever didn't say... 592 00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:00,836 Ha, ha, ha... 593 00:32:00,918 --> 00:32:02,378 P.j.: Mmm... 594 00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,462 Well... 595 00:32:07,258 --> 00:32:09,178 Captain: Uh, enter... 596 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:10,800 Uhm-hmm... 597 00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:13,007 Si... 598 00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,427 Si... 599 00:32:15,516 --> 00:32:17,056 Uh...muchas gracias... 600 00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:18,693 Adios... 601 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:19,850 Yes...? 602 00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:22,727 Julie: Sir, Mr. Flanders isn't answering his phone. 603 00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:24,355 I think he's still sleeping. 604 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,402 He's gonna be hopping mad when he wakes up and 605 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:29,856 we've run out of ideas about how to get that dog out of his cabin. 606 00:32:29,947 --> 00:32:32,947 Captain: Well, I just spoke to the spca in Mazatlan, 607 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,954 they're coming aboard tomorrow morning with a tranquilizer gun. 608 00:32:36,037 --> 00:32:37,207 Julie: They better have two shots. 609 00:32:37,288 --> 00:32:38,538 One for the dog, and one for Mr. 610 00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:39,503 Flanders... 611 00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,543 Sir, I'm really sorry. 612 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:44,497 Captain: It's not your fault... 613 00:32:44,587 --> 00:32:46,957 Besides, you're doing a great job of keeping my father busy. 614 00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:48,548 Julie: Oh, that wasn't difficult. 615 00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:49,553 See, he's... 616 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,554 Captain: I don't need to know the details... 617 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:57,556 I'm just very pleased that you've got him doing something that...Well, gives me some peace and quiet... 618 00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,692 Julie: Well, it's not exactly 'something'. 619 00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:03,019 It's more like...'Someone'. 620 00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:04,016 Captain: Oh. 621 00:33:04,107 --> 00:33:08,397 You mean he's...Found some nice elderly cronies? 622 00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:13,736 Julie: Well...it's only one 'crony', and, actually, sir, it's a lady. 623 00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:16,195 Captain: Miss McCoy! 624 00:33:16,285 --> 00:33:18,445 A stroke of genius! 625 00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:20,368 Julie: Well, it wasn't anything I arranged. 626 00:33:20,456 --> 00:33:22,456 They...found each other... 627 00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:23,252 Captain: They did? 628 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:24,714 Julie: Uhm-hmm. 629 00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:27,594 And I understand he's inviting her to dinner at your table tonight... 630 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:31,432 Wouldn't it be wonderful if something permanent came out of all this? 631 00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:32,429 Captain: Dismissed. 632 00:33:32,510 --> 00:33:33,430 Julie: Yes, sir... 633 00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:55,780 Toby: Do you realize, between the two of us, we've been married six times? 634 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:59,117 Doc: We'll just have to keep doing it till we get it right... 635 00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:07,634 Captain: Well, how do I look? 636 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:08,672 Julie: Fine, sir. 637 00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:10,665 Your usual captainy self. 638 00:34:10,757 --> 00:34:11,467 Why? 639 00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:13,179 Captain: Why? 640 00:34:13,259 --> 00:34:18,639 Well, I just want to make sure that everything is right for my father and...His lady. 641 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:21,853 Julie: Well, from what I hear, they only have eyes for each other. 642 00:34:21,934 --> 00:34:25,064 Don't worry, they'll never even notice us... 643 00:34:25,146 --> 00:34:27,316 Captain: Well, just in case they do... 644 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:29,148 Elbows, miss McCoy... 645 00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:33,453 Julie: Yes, sir... 646 00:34:33,529 --> 00:34:35,659 P.j.: I've never eaten in the dining room before. 647 00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:37,530 Is it squared with captain stubing? 648 00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:40,997 Stubing, sr.: P.J., my girl, I'm proud to have you sailing in my fleet. 649 00:34:41,078 --> 00:34:44,748 If that son of mine opens his yap, I'll send him adrift in a life boat. 650 00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:45,832 Ladies and gentlemen. 651 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,207 Good evening, one and all. 652 00:34:47,293 --> 00:34:50,843 I have the honor of presenting Mrs. P.J. Muldoon. 653 00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,722 Captain: P.j. Muldoon?! 654 00:34:52,799 --> 00:34:54,549 P.j.: Get out the life boat. 655 00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,724 Howdy all... 656 00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:57,552 How ya doing, captain? 657 00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:59,177 Captain: Oh, just -- just -- just swell... 658 00:34:59,263 --> 00:35:00,263 Stubing, sr.: Come, dear. 659 00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:02,388 Sit on the captain's right...Where you belong... 660 00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:04,185 P.j.: That's nice... 661 00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:05,058 Stubing, sr.: She's a lot of fun. 662 00:35:05,144 --> 00:35:06,694 Just listen to everything she says. 663 00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:08,021 P.j.: Hi, y'all. 664 00:35:08,105 --> 00:35:10,525 Captain: Forgive my surprise, dad, but I'm used to seeing Mrs. 665 00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,858 Muldoon below deck. 666 00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:14,203 Stubing, sr.: Are you indeed? 667 00:35:14,278 --> 00:35:17,528 Captain: The kitchen help do not eat in the dining room... 668 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,993 Stubing, sr.: Very well, captain. 669 00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,368 Come, my dear, we can dine in my cabin... 670 00:35:24,455 --> 00:35:26,365 It's small, but it's not as stuffy as it is in here. 671 00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,327 Come, dear... 672 00:35:28,251 --> 00:35:30,631 Captain: Dad? 673 00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,050 Julie: Captain, are you all right? 674 00:35:37,134 --> 00:35:38,224 Captain: Hmm? 675 00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:44,392 Oh...yes, I'm just...I'm just fine... 676 00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:57,858 Beth: Well, tomorrow Mazatlan and then home. 677 00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:03,037 Goodbye, doc -- so long, Morton... 678 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:08,209 Beth: You know, for someone who did not want to get involved in our little game of romance roulette, 679 00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:10,711 Regina certainly did get into the swing of things. 680 00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,133 Toby: Yeah. 681 00:36:12,211 --> 00:36:15,261 I hope she finds a way to dump the plumber without breaking his heart, . 682 00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:18,259 Or his wrench, or whatever you break on a plumber 683 00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,052 Beth: No, Regina's got class... 684 00:36:20,136 --> 00:36:26,926 She'll find a nice literate way to say goodbye like...'Beat it, buster!' ...Let's go..... 685 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:55,798 Regina: I'm sorry I'm late. 686 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,670 Frank: That's okay. 687 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:59,966 I just wanted to say, 'see you around'. 688 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:00,471 Regina: What's wrong? 689 00:37:00,551 --> 00:37:02,351 Frank: Nothing. 690 00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:07,018 We both had the perfect cruise...'Fun-filled nights, etc., etc.!' ...But enough's enough, hmm? 691 00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:08,310 Regina: Frank! 692 00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:09,692 What's the matter?? 693 00:37:09,769 --> 00:37:11,689 Frank: Let me put it in a poem. 694 00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:16,281 'Fun is fun, but now it's done' stick that in your scrapbook... 695 00:37:33,626 --> 00:37:34,786 Captain: Hello, father. 696 00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:37,047 Stubing, sr.: Well, merrill...What an unexpected bummer! 697 00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,089 Come in... 698 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:44,681 Captain: I came to apologize...I'm afraid I overreacted 699 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:49,682 when you brought your friend to my table...I'm sorry. 700 00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,517 Stubing, sr.: Accepted... 701 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:55,312 Captain: But, dad, with a whole shipload of passengers, couldn't you have picked somebody...? 702 00:37:55,398 --> 00:37:56,768 Stubing, sr.: More suitable? 703 00:37:56,857 --> 00:37:57,567 Captain: Well... 704 00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:58,690 Stubing, sr.: Suitable for whom? 705 00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:01,646 I didn't go looking for someone to fit into your life. 706 00:38:01,737 --> 00:38:04,197 I was looking for someone to fit into mine. 707 00:38:04,281 --> 00:38:08,161 Captain: Now, look, I know you're lonely...But a cruise ship is a funny place -- 708 00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:11,914 people fall in love every night...And then when they get off the ship... 709 00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:12,868 Stubing, sr.: Fine... 710 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,497 But that's not the case between me and p.J. 711 00:38:16,585 --> 00:38:18,835 I've asked her to be my wife... 712 00:38:20,256 --> 00:38:21,506 Captain: I see... 713 00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:24,090 Stubing, sr.: Well, aren't you happy for me? 714 00:38:24,176 --> 00:38:25,636 ...I'm happy for me. 715 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,050 Captain: Well, sure, I'm happy for you. 716 00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:31,228 I'm happy that you've finally found someone whose company you enjoy... 717 00:38:31,308 --> 00:38:32,388 But marriage? 718 00:38:32,476 --> 00:38:36,226 Stubing, sr.: Okay, merrill...I see where you stand. 719 00:38:36,313 --> 00:38:40,573 But I'm going to marry p.J....With or without your blessings... 720 00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,821 From now on, you stay out of my life, and I'll stay out of yours. 721 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,163 Go on. 722 00:38:50,244 --> 00:38:52,124 Get up on the bridge where you belong... 723 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:05,222 Captain: Dad... 724 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:07,681 Stubing, sr.: Dismissed! 725 00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:18,305 P.j.: He's right, you know, stubby. 726 00:39:18,397 --> 00:39:20,017 Stubing, sr.: Right, about what? 727 00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:21,567 P.j.: About us. 728 00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:23,780 I don't fit in with your family. 729 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,111 I never could. 730 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,606 Stubing, sr.: Who cares about my family? 731 00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:27,487 What about me?? 732 00:39:27,573 --> 00:39:30,583 P.j.: You're a swell guy, stubby... 733 00:39:30,659 --> 00:39:32,329 You'll find somebody else. 734 00:39:32,411 --> 00:39:33,871 Stubing, sr.: Wait - p.J. 735 00:39:33,954 --> 00:39:34,754 -- Listen! 736 00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:37,460 P.j.!!! 737 00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,258 Julie: You're sure that that won't hurt the dog? 738 00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:49,965 Spca man: No. 739 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:53,974 He'll just have a good siesta... 740 00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:54,768 Gopher: Okay. 741 00:39:54,850 --> 00:39:55,640 You ready? 742 00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:56,136 Spca man: Ready. 743 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:56,977 Gopher: All right. 744 00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:01,191 I'll open the door, and you shoot. 745 00:40:01,273 --> 00:40:02,653 Flanders (o.S.): Hey, don't shoot! 746 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,153 Spca man: Why not?? 747 00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:06,605 It's only a tranquilizer! 748 00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:10,315 Flanders: Come on in here... 749 00:40:12,535 --> 00:40:13,325 Hi, guys... 750 00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:18,170 Julie: Oh...look... 751 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,579 Julie: Oh, look... 752 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:22,877 Flanders: This is 'gopher', 'doc', and 'jul...' No, wait a minute. 753 00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:23,882 Stay. 754 00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:30,013 This is 'doc', 'Julie', 'gopher', and 'Isaac'. 755 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:33,144 Doc: Then I guess the little bald one at the end is... 756 00:40:33,222 --> 00:40:34,932 Captain: Don't say it... 757 00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:52,032 Frank: All right, all right! 758 00:40:52,116 --> 00:40:53,026 Take it easy! 759 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:53,987 What's the..... 760 00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:56,656 Toby: You are a bum and a rat! 761 00:40:56,745 --> 00:40:57,995 Beth: You're a plummy crummer! 762 00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:58,710 Toby: A crummy plumber. 763 00:40:58,789 --> 00:40:59,459 Beth: He knows what I mean. 764 00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:00,250 Frank: What's bugging you two? 765 00:41:00,332 --> 00:41:03,172 Toby: You are an animal, frank! 766 00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:06,842 Beth: The way you treated Regina -- I mean, you broke her heart for no good reason! 767 00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:10,512 Frank: Big deal...I dumped her...I only beat her to the punch... 768 00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,893 Isn't that how you play your romance roulette? 769 00:41:12,970 --> 00:41:14,050 Beth: Uh... 770 00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:14,508 Toby: Uh... 771 00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:15,467 Frank: Yeah... 772 00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:17,556 Yeah, I heard the two of you up on the deck. 773 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:21,401 Just because I'm a working stiff doesn't mean I can be exploited by some chick playing a school girl game. 774 00:41:21,478 --> 00:41:22,898 Toby: All right, all right... 775 00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:28,240 Maybe we were playing around...But the poor kid was dead serious, frank. 776 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:29,359 Beth: Right... 777 00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:30,445 Frank: Like hell she was. 778 00:41:30,529 --> 00:41:31,239 Now, will you please leave? 779 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:33,372 Will you...? 780 00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,119 Regina: What are you two doing here? 781 00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:37,911 Toby: We were just trying to straighten out your idiot plumber. 782 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:40,745 Regina: Well, if there's any straightening out to be done, I'll do it myself. 783 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:41,791 Now, everybody out! 784 00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:42,424 Beth: But, Regina, we were just... 785 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,210 Regina: You heard me. 786 00:41:43,292 --> 00:41:44,042 Out! 787 00:41:44,126 --> 00:41:44,746 Beat it! 788 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:45,375 Scram! 789 00:41:49,381 --> 00:41:53,471 I'm sorry about my friends...And I just came to say goodbye... 790 00:41:53,552 --> 00:41:56,602 Frank: So, say it... 791 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:00,980 Regina: Before I do, I -- I just want to tell you that the past three days have been the best... 792 00:42:01,060 --> 00:42:01,770 Frank: Good. 793 00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:03,602 Your romance roulette paid off... 794 00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:06,397 That's what games are for, to have fun... 795 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,199 Regina: You know about that? 796 00:42:11,278 --> 00:42:14,618 Frank: Yeah. 797 00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:17,788 Regina: Well, frank, what we had wasn't a game... 798 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,618 Frank: Yeah, sure... 799 00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:24,503 Regina: Oh, I know it started out as a game, and I'm -- I'm sorry it did, and I'm ashamed. 800 00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:36,603 Because somewhere along the line, it -- it stopped being a game...I meant every word I said to you... 801 00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:43,019 Frank: I thought you came to say goodbye...I didn't hear you say it. 802 00:42:43,102 --> 00:42:50,442 Regina: I can't...I don't want to...I don't want to lose you...I don't... 803 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:53,606 Frank: You what? 804 00:42:53,696 --> 00:42:55,526 Regina: I can't put it into words. 805 00:42:55,614 --> 00:42:56,994 Frank: You're an English professor! 806 00:42:57,074 --> 00:43:04,674 Even a slob like me knows how to say 'i love you'....I do, you know. 807 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:07,378 Regina: Oh, frank, I love you, too! 808 00:43:11,130 --> 00:43:13,170 Frank: Now, you see? 809 00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:16,887 Isn't the truth better than playing games? 810 00:43:16,969 --> 00:43:21,019 It works every time... 811 00:43:21,098 --> 00:43:24,138 Regina: Even if it hadn't, I always could have used plan b. 812 00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:26,056 Frank: What was that? 813 00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:29,515 Regina: Well, I was gonna hit you over the head with one of your wrenches and carry you off..... 814 00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:40,195 Captain: Oh, miss McCoy, have you seen my father? 815 00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:42,084 He's really been making himself scarce. 816 00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:44,791 Julie: I thought that would suit you, sir. 817 00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:47,882 Captain: I've made a mess of this, haven't I? 818 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,838 Julie: Well, captain, because of you, p.J. 819 00:43:49,918 --> 00:43:51,668 Won't see your dad. 820 00:43:51,754 --> 00:43:55,384 And the two of them are running around looking like they don't care whether they live or die... 821 00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:56,876 It's a darn shame... 822 00:43:56,967 --> 00:43:59,507 They love each other... 823 00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:02,215 They could have had a wonderful life together, but... 824 00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,769 Captain: Miss McCoy, please see that my father's at my table tonight for dinner. 825 00:44:09,855 --> 00:44:11,435 Julie: Sir, that may not be easy... 826 00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:13,193 Captain: I don't care if it takes wild horses... 827 00:44:13,275 --> 00:44:14,855 Please make sure he's there... 828 00:44:36,548 --> 00:44:37,548 Flanders: I'm sorry... 829 00:44:37,633 --> 00:44:37,933 Captain: No, that's all right. 830 00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:38,628 You have it. 831 00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,257 You're making up for lost time. 832 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:41,934 Flanders: Actually, captain, it's not for me. 833 00:44:42,012 --> 00:44:43,892 I'm filling a doggie bag..... 834 00:44:56,193 --> 00:44:58,783 Captain: Ladies and gentlemen -- tonight is a very special... 835 00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:06,622 Stubing, sr.: P.J.! 836 00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:08,623 Mrs. P.J. Muldoon. 837 00:45:08,705 --> 00:45:10,165 P.j.: Thank you, captain. 838 00:45:10,249 --> 00:45:11,829 What's all this lady stuff? 839 00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,337 Captain: I said, lady. 840 00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:18,259 A lady who has devoted her life to the sea. 841 00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:22,970 A lady who, in her own selfless way, on the day of her retirement, 842 00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:27,773 has consented to take on an even bigger burden...By agreeing to become 843 00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,020 my stepmother. 844 00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:31,522 P.j.: Okay with you? 845 00:45:31,603 --> 00:45:33,653 Stubing, sr.: You know it, baby... 846 00:45:33,730 --> 00:45:37,150 Captain: A toast to captain merrill stubing, sr. 847 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,324 And his p.J. 848 00:45:39,403 --> 00:45:41,163 Many happy years. 849 00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:44,278 P.j.: This doesn't mean you're gonna call me mom, does it? 850 00:45:44,366 --> 00:45:46,326 Captain: I wouldn't do that, ma... 851 00:45:46,410 --> 00:45:47,490 Stubing, sr.: Here, here, here, here! 852 00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:49,328 Steady, steady!... 853 00:46:04,094 --> 00:46:06,144 Toby: I guess this is goodbye. 854 00:46:06,221 --> 00:46:08,641 Doc: So the secret word was, 'screwdriver'? 855 00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:12,194 I wonder what would have happened if I'd asked for a Harvey wallbanger... 856 00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:21,568 Morton: Beth, Beth, Beth... 857 00:46:21,653 --> 00:46:23,863 Beth: Oh, Morton, I just love you so much. 858 00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:28,907 I just can't take my hands off you...I don't believe this is happening to me... 859 00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:31,044 Morton: Just take the bags, huh? 860 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,501 ...and move it... 861 00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,748 Regina: You'll write? 862 00:46:38,837 --> 00:46:40,757 Frank: I'll write you every other day. 863 00:46:40,839 --> 00:46:41,549 Regina: No, no, no, no. 864 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:43,132 You write a poem every other day. 865 00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:44,587 You write me every day. 866 00:46:44,676 --> 00:46:46,846 Frank: Okay... 867 00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:52,059 Oh, by the way, I took another look at your drain this morning while you were at breakfast, and I found your ring... 868 00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:57,613 Regina: Oh, no, no, no, that's an engagement ring! 869 00:46:57,689 --> 00:47:00,439 That's not mine... 870 00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:02,436 Frank: Well, it is now... 871 00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:06,448 If you'll accept it... 872 00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:09,032 Regina: Oh, frank..... 873 00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,229 Captain: Here we go... 874 00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:37,100 Julie: Goodbye, captain stubing, sir. 875 00:47:37,187 --> 00:47:38,897 You've certainly been the hit of this trip. 876 00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:39,821 Stubing, sr.: Well, thank you, my dear. 877 00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:40,938 That's sweet of you to say. 878 00:47:41,024 --> 00:47:44,154 Isaac, you mix a mean tomato juice. 879 00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:46,656 Maybe next trip I can drink it, not wear it. 880 00:47:46,738 --> 00:47:47,948 Ha, ha, ha... 881 00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:49,121 Isaac: All the best to you, sir. 882 00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:50,329 Stubing, sr.: Thank you -- thank you... 883 00:47:50,409 --> 00:47:53,119 Gopher: This ship won't be the same without you, p.J. 884 00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:58,133 P.j.: Oh, stow it, gopher, you want to make me blubber like a kid? 885 00:47:58,208 --> 00:47:59,248 Stubing, sr.: She's something, isn't she? 886 00:47:59,334 --> 00:48:00,174 She's something. 887 00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,592 Well, goodbye all, and thanks. 888 00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:03,010 P.j.: Goodbye, everybody. 889 00:48:03,088 --> 00:48:04,968 Captain: Now, listen, you two, listen -- don't...You keep in touch now. 890 00:48:05,048 --> 00:48:06,128 Don't be strangers. 891 00:48:06,216 --> 00:48:06,966 Stubing, sr.: Oh, didn't p.J. 892 00:48:07,050 --> 00:48:08,800 Tell you? 893 00:48:08,885 --> 00:48:13,465 We're planning to get ourselves a little tug together and drop anchor right here in San Pedro. 894 00:48:13,557 --> 00:48:17,597 And you know if you run into trouble trying to dock the ship or what-not, I'll be there to help you... 895 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:19,056 Just get on the radio. 896 00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:21,106 Captain: Oh... 897 00:48:21,189 --> 00:48:24,649 Well, do you know what frequency we work on? 898 00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:26,645 Stubing, sr.: Uh...No... 899 00:48:26,737 --> 00:48:27,647 Captain: Fine. 900 00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:28,948 Let's keep it that way... 901 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:37,001 Julie: Oh, Mr. Flanders, I want to thank you for being so nice and for putting up with everything. 902 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,080 Flanders: Well, actually, it wasn't a bad vacation. 903 00:48:39,166 --> 00:48:41,286 I got a lot of sleep and I lost thirteen pounds... 904 00:48:41,376 --> 00:48:42,836 Julie: Oh. 905 00:48:42,919 --> 00:48:44,339 Gopher: Well, sir, we're gonna give you a lot better vacation than that... 906 00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:47,801 That's a free ticket on a cruise any time you want, compliments of the line. 907 00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:48,883 Flanders: Thanks. 908 00:48:48,967 --> 00:48:52,097 Doc: The next time, remember our rule, no pets... 909 00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:52,969 Flanders: Right... 910 00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,715 Come on, mother.....