1 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,880 It's from Herod. 2 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,880 What does he say? 3 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,960 It's written from Jerusalem. 4 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,200 Read it to me. His letters are so amusing. 5 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,880 "Mr dear old friend, 6 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:09,680 "what is all this I hear about you living in three rooms in the o-o-old quarter of town? 7 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,360 "Is it serious? 8 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,240 "Why did you not write to me? 9 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,200 "Is it that absurd pride of yours? 10 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,560 "Well, I shall attend to that shortly. 11 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:25,440 "Meanwhile, knowing how loathe you are to accept money 12 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,400 "and being the only practical friend you ever had, 13 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:34,200 "I enclose a little... p-p-present for you. 14 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,600 Please, make proper use of it. Herod. 15 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,320 What is it? Seems very small. 16 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,920 Well, I don't know. 17 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,200 I don't think that's very generous! 18 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:53,480 Venus! Oh, Claudius, I think your luck is changing. 19 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,400 I'm sure it's an omen! 20 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,440 Those dice are crooked. 21 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,680 You can't possibly use them. 22 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,600 HE CHUCKLES 23 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,480 Oh, dear, Herod! 24 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,160 How I miss him. Master. 25 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,640 Have you seen this? What? 26 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:22,120 It was pinned on the door of the temple. What is it? 27 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,800 It's advertising a brothel in the palace. 28 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,440 They're all over the city. 29 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,680 A brothel, in the palace? 30 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,840 But who is to serve in it? 31 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,200 His sisters, his cousins. 32 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,280 S-S-Senators and their wives. 33 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,800 You knew about it? 34 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,640 Why didn't you tell me? 35 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,040 He wants you there. 36 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,160 He wants me to take t-t-the money on the door. 37 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,440 Oh, Claudius. 38 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,680 Little monster. 39 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,760 Forcing the nobility into prostitution. 40 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,480 And in the palace. 41 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:07,560 Why, even Calpurnia wouldn't serve in such a place, and that's her profession. 42 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,800 That is not her profession any more! 43 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,080 My dear, that was, and is, my profession. 44 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,360 I'm a prostitute, and I've never been ashamed of it. 45 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:28,160 All the same, I won't serve in his brothel! 46 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,280 There's some price a man won't pay. 47 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,520 JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS 48 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,160 Claudius, I was told to bring her here, but she's terrified. 49 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,080 Nothing you can do. Please, listen! 50 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,120 She's given birth six weeks ago. 51 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,400 If someone touches her, I'm afraid what she'll do. No exceptions. 52 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,440 There must be a room or somewhere to put her. No one will notice. Please! 53 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,560 Do you want mine to get along with yours? 54 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,280 You've paid your fee, go on in! 55 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,360 Enjoy yourself. 56 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,240 It's not important. No. 57 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,600 Do you want the child left without a mother?! 58 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,040 Come. 59 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,120 Ah, another customer. 60 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,320 As we were just running out of men. 61 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:18,400 Real men. 62 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,120 Sabinus, isn't it? 63 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,720 And I see you've brought your pretty wife. 64 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:28,200 My dear, you'll make a fortune in there tonight. 65 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,720 You better, anyway. The emperor has just raised his commission. 66 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:37,560 Shall we go? Ah, reinforcements. Marcus. 67 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:42,920 The emperor's brother-in-law, and your first customer. 68 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,960 Make him pay through the nose, my dear. 69 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,720 You're worth it. No! 70 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,720 Come! 71 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,440 What are you doing? Chucking you out! 72 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,560 You've no right! That's what I'm here for, that's what I'm doing! 73 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,800 But why?! For creating a disturbance! 74 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,000 But she was creating the disturbance! Out! 75 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,800 See him off the premises. 76 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,840 Go home. But if the emperor should return... 77 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,600 I'll tell him I threw you out for indecent behaviour. 78 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,560 You are a good man, Claudius. 79 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,080 Claudius? 80 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,880 We must help him, the emperor. 81 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,960 He's your husband, you help him. 82 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,960 Claudius! 83 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,440 He's sick. He needs good people round him. 84 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,080 He's killed them all. 85 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,400 What are you doing here in your condition? He told me to come. 86 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,360 He likes me to be with him. 87 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,440 Has he shown you naked to his guards lately? 88 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,760 Oh, I'm sorry. 89 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:29,200 It's not for me 90 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:29,200 to c-c-criticise, I bleat to the rest of them whenever he appears. 91 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,880 There are no lions among us any more. 92 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,920 ALL LAUGH AND APPLAUD 93 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,840 LAUGHTER AND MUSIC STOPS 94 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,000 HE CHUCKLES 95 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:07,960 Vulcan with awkward grace, his office plies, while unextinguished laughter shakes the skies. 96 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,120 Homer for Vulcan read old uncle Claudius. 97 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,840 Oh... 98 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:20,960 Then from his anvil, the lame craftsman rose. 99 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:26,040 Wide, with distorted legs. 100 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,400 Oblique, he goes. 101 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,400 Oh, bravo! 102 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,560 Henceforth, uncle, you shall be Vulcan. 103 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,200 While I... 104 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,520 Well... 105 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,160 What am I? 106 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,600 But Ulysses... 107 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:52,200 returning home to witness the shame and degradation of his household. 108 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:57,280 Cassius? 109 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,040 Did you ever see a sight as sad and degrading as this? 110 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:06,240 Shall I arrest them, Caesar? No, let them indulge themselves a while longer. 111 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:10,600 Soon, I promise you I shall flush this sewage into the Tiber forever. 112 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,160 Meanwhile, Jove must cleanse himself in battle. 113 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,800 I have sworn to fight a war against the Germans that will end 114 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:26,680 in their total annihilation, and I shall bring back much booty to Rome, fill her coffers, enrich her purse. 115 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:32,920 Cassius, order the detachments, and raise the levies. 116 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,920 I go to forge in the white hot fires of war 117 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:45,320 a new and tempered spirit of Rome that will last 1,000 years! 118 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:50,800 Good girl. 119 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,840 KNOCKING 120 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,600 Claudius. 121 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,480 I've got a little gift for baby. 122 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,000 Claudius. 123 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,840 BABY CRIES 124 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,840 That's lovely. Show it to her. How is she? 125 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,480 Come and see. 126 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,520 Ah, she's very pretty. 127 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,920 Yeah. She looks just like you. 128 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,000 Come and sit down. 129 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,160 So, how's Calpurnia? 130 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,080 She's well. She sends her felicitations. 131 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,400 I'm going to see the emperor in Germany soon, 132 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,120 so I shall be able to report that you're both looking well. 133 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,120 Why are you going to Germany? 134 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,360 Haven't you heard? You know they tell me nothing. 135 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,920 Oh, I'm not sure I should tell you. 136 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,280 Well, I suppose you'll hear about it soon enough. 137 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:49,800 Well, he has informed the senate by letter that he's uncovered 138 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:53,800 a vast conspiracy against himself in the army of the Rhine. 139 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:59,600 Six corp commanders and the army commander himself, have been executed. 140 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,160 More executions are still taking place. 141 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,080 Do you think there was a conspiracy? 142 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:10,240 Who knows? Would it surprise you? 143 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,760 The army commander, no. He was my father's old friend, 144 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:22,040 my brother's corp commander, a soldier of iron loyalty. No, that's not possible. 145 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:27,680 Why are you going then? 146 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:27,680 The senate is sending me and two ex-consuls to congratulate him 147 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,880 on the mutiny. 148 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,840 As I said, 149 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,440 the only lions left in Rome are in the arena. 150 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,480 BABY CRIES 151 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:43,200 I'm also to strip Livia's apartments of all their valuables and send them to him by road. 152 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:48,040 He stresses by road. Apparently, he has a quarrel with Neptune, 153 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,840 and fears the boat will sink. 154 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,120 What does he want them for? To auction to the provincial. 155 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,360 He's auctioning everything now. 156 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,480 He's discovered he has a gift for it. 157 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,120 Claudius, what am I doing here? 158 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:08,720 Why did he chose me for a wife? I'm ten years older than he is, not 159 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:13,000 pretty, I was born the daughter of a night watchman, I married a baker. 160 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,640 What does he see in me? Perhaps that you, 161 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,080 alone among everyone, 162 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,120 truly love him. 163 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,160 Yes, I do love him. 164 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,760 I can't explain why. 165 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,280 I know he does terrible things. 166 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,640 I'll tell you something. 167 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,520 He is more afraid than any of us. 168 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,960 Cassius. 169 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,280 Just been talking to that river god. 170 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,880 He threatened to drown me. 171 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,440 Does he know who you are? 172 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,760 He does now, I've just given him 173 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:02,760 a severe reprimand, so shut up. 174 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,920 Well, the river's going down, isn't it? 175 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,000 Yes, Caesar. 176 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,760 Your uncle is here with Marcus and Asprenas. 177 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,200 Let them in. 178 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,640 Hail, Caesar. 179 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,640 Lord of the heavens, 180 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,560 the senate and the people... 181 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,680 Where are my carts? 182 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:32,320 Carts? The carts with the valuables in them. 183 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,600 Oh, heaven, bless you 184 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:36,600 majesty, they're coming by road. 185 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:41,640 They'll be a few days yet. We wanted to get here sooner, so we came across the water. 186 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,360 Well then, back by water you go. 187 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,920 Throw them in the river! 188 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,320 Merciful God! 189 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,440 How dare you arrive without my carts! 190 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,640 But you already said the carts should come by road! 191 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,520 Throw him off on the bridge! 192 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:03,000 Prostrate yourselves in the presence of Jove! 193 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,720 How dare the senate send that idiot to congratulate me. 194 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,640 Have their throats cut. 195 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,760 Not worthy of such a mission, the man's an imbecile! 196 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:23,960 Save Rome from a conspiracy, and they send that clapped out crippled 197 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:23,960 old clown to felicitate me?! 198 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,080 Is that the respect that they give their emperor?! 199 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,560 What's going on there? 200 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,920 More plots. 201 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,480 More conspiracies. 202 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,920 I'll set my German guards on them when I get back. 203 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,080 I'll burn the damn place down! It never was any use! 204 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,080 I should have done that a long time ago, 205 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,280 I should have had his throat cut when I was first made emperor. 206 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,040 He makes a mess of everything. 207 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,040 Couldn't even order my brother's statues on time! 208 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:14,840 Merciful God, we only came by sea to bring our congratulations. 209 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:19,040 I wanted carts not congratulations! 210 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,200 Up! Up! 211 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,440 Up! Up! Up! 212 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,880 Did I not tell you that I had had a quarrel with Neptune? 213 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,280 That he plagues me all the time with his sea noises, 214 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,600 stirs the river gods up against me, makes war on me everywhere? 215 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,520 How dare you ride with him! 216 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,880 One hopes... 217 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,800 Yes... 218 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:50,480 Perhaps you plotted with him. 219 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,240 No. Merciful God... 220 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,240 You and my uncle, you plotted with him on your way here. 221 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,320 No, highest one. We assure you. What did you talk about then? 222 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,520 You and Neptune? 223 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,360 What did you say to one another? 224 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,760 Nothing, we swear! 225 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,480 Mere mortals can't talk to a god. 226 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,560 Perhaps he appeared to you in mortal guise, as I do. 227 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,080 What did he look like? 228 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,520 We never saw him. 229 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,400 Please believe me. 230 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,280 He wouldn't plot with us. 231 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,280 Perhaps you're right. 232 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,240 But I shall kill you just the same. 233 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,000 Down! Cassius, give me your sword. 234 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,120 Oh, please! 235 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,640 In the name of my wife, your sister... 236 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,200 How dare you mention that whore to me! 237 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:53,160 I'll show the Senate what I think of their envoys. 238 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,400 I'll send you back to Rome in pieces. 239 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,000 I wish hadn't thrown my uncle into the river. 240 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,080 I could have done the same with him. But never mind, 241 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,320 they'll get the message. No! 242 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,560 HE CHUCKLES 243 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:13,960 Ha ha! And where have you been, my dear, dear Vulcan? 244 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,400 "Oh, I f-f-felt the thunderous might. 245 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:26,080 "Hurl'd, headlong down from the ethereal height, breathless I fell 246 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:32,520 "in giddy motions lost, the Sinthians 247 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:32,520 raised me on the Lemnian coast." 248 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,600 Let me read some more... 249 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,800 Oh, by Jove! 250 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:43,160 Well, it is almost the same by myself. This fellow knows his Homer. 251 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,720 Please, Claudius, beseech the Emperor to save our lives. 252 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,440 Be silent and obey! 253 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,000 "Dear as you are, if Jove his arm extend, 254 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:58,120 "I can but grieve, unable to defend." 255 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,480 Look, if the next two lines are apt, then they're saved. 256 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,080 If not, I'll have their throats cut. 257 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,920 If oh what... 258 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:35,680 "What, oh so daring in your aid to move, or lift his arm against the might of Jove!" 259 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,840 For Jove... Y-Y... 260 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,440 Me? 261 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,960 Ha ha ha!! 262 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,680 Oh, he has an eye for everything. Come on, get up, you're saved. 263 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,320 Saved by Claudius and his ready tongue. 264 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,920 Come on into the other room, I will give you a blanket. 265 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,760 Oh, Cassius? 266 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,360 What is the watchword for tonight, Caesar? 267 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,520 Oh, the watchword for tonight, let me see. 268 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,040 What about, 269 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,560 "give us a kiss"? 270 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,400 Could have been just now. 271 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:37,520 Could happen tomorrow or the next day, to you or to me. 272 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,080 But do not doubt, it will happen one day. 273 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:52,800 Did that surprise you, the watchword that I gave to Cassius? 274 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,200 Oh, I thought it was a j-j-joke. 275 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,360 It was! 276 00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:00,120 But it was my joke, not his. 277 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,040 I do it to annoy. 278 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:07,640 Every time he addresses a commander of the guard, he has to say, "give us a kiss". 279 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,360 Yesterday I gave him, "Touch me, Titus". 280 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,000 Why, if I may ask, 281 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 do you do that? 282 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,280 Because he is a cry-baby. Cassius? 283 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,360 I thought he was the bravest soldier in the army. 284 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,400 Oh, so did I, but he's not. 285 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,400 I had him torture Gitunicus to get some information. 286 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,920 We got no information out of him, and he died under torture. 287 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,320 One of the guards told me that Cassius wept. 288 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:46,600 Well, I was going to give him Macro's command, but I certainly didn't after that. 289 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,640 How many hours a night do you sleep? 290 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:59,080 Sleep? Er... Eight or n-n-nine, I suppose. 291 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:05,200 Well, I sleep barely three. Do gods need more? 292 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,560 Do you think I'm mad? 293 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:18,640 M-m-mad? Yes, sometimes I think I'm going mad. 294 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,680 Be honest with me, has that thought ever crossed your mind? 295 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,200 Never...never. 296 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,680 The idea is p-p-preposterous. 297 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:34,200 You set the standard of s-s-sanity for the whole world. 298 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:42,360 In that case, why is all this galloping in my head, and why do I sleep so little? 299 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:46,840 Well, it is all mortal disguise, 300 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:53,360 you see. The physical body is a great strain, if you're not used to it. 301 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,640 Which a god isn't. 302 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,560 That explains, too, 303 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,160 I think, 304 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,080 the three hours' sleep. 305 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:08,320 You see, undisguised gods never sleep at all. 306 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,840 Yes, you're probably right. 307 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,320 But then, if I am a god, which of course I am, then 308 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,440 why didn't I think of that? 309 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:30,120 Anyway, whatever the reason, it's very hard to be a god. 310 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:36,080 Oh, you do know that I'm that all powerful god whose coming the Jews have prophesied 311 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,200 for centuries? Oh, yes, yes you told me. 312 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,280 I feel very privileged to have received that information. 313 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,840 Especially as the 314 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,840 Jews, apparently, don't know it. 315 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:50,640 Yes, but it's prophesied that he'll die young and be hated by his own people. 316 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,440 No, I can't believe that. 317 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,520 No, not hated. 318 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,920 It's incredible, isn't it? 319 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,440 It must be true. 320 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,720 Uncle, I want you to come with us on this expedition. 321 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,720 When we've auctioned the stuff in the carts, when they arrive, 322 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:14,240 we shall cross the Rhine, defeat the Germans, and then we shall march 323 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,920 towards the sea and I shall do battle with my old enemy, Neptune. 324 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,240 Oh, what triumphs I shall have when we return to Rome. 325 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,720 Now, you may leave me, I have a headache. 326 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,760 BUGLES BLARE 327 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,720 Your Emperor is amongst you once again. 328 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:53,880 All his wars successfully concluded, and the victorious armies brought 329 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:53,880 back to Rome. 330 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:02,360 He had thought, in his divine innocence, 331 00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:06,480 that the roads might be lined with cheering crowds. 332 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,600 He had thought that the streets might be strewn with flowers. 333 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,800 He had thought that there might be messages to greet him, telling 334 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,800 him of triumphs to be awarded. 335 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,040 And what did he find? 336 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,800 This conqueror of the Germans, this victor over the mighty Neptune? 337 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,040 The streets empty of crowds and flowers. 338 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:34,080 No triumphs awarded, no games, no celebrations, 339 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:39,200 but three miserable old ex-consuls waiting at the gates to greet him, 340 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,040 and a roomful of cowardly stay-at-home senators 341 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,120 who spend all their time in the theatre and at the baths, 342 00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:51,920 while he has spent six months living no better than a private soldier! 343 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,680 Hence... 344 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,360 your Emperor has returned, 345 00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:02,320 but with this in his hand! 346 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,240 But, Jove, you ordered no triumphs. 347 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:14,960 Well of course I ordered no triumphs! Do you think I'd order triumphs for myself? 348 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,360 But you ordered us not to order any. 349 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:21,640 Yes, and you took me at my word, didn't you! 350 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,640 Typical! 351 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:30,720 It didn't occur to you that I might be leaving it up to you for 352 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:30,720 your love to show itself freely? 353 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,040 It didn't occur to you that it might be my natural humility speaking? 354 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,800 I ordered you not to celebrate. 355 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:51,640 But you ordered celebrations for the anniversary of Actium, didn't you? 356 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:57,680 Didn't forget to celebrate the defeat of my great-grandfather 357 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:57,680 Marc Antony? 358 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:04,880 How many bottles of wine did you 359 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:04,880 open, toasting his murder while I was doing battle with the sea? 360 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,400 Show them our booty! 361 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,960 Show them the plunder we gathered from old Neptune. 362 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,840 Seashells? 363 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:29,480 Yes, spoils of the sea. 364 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,240 Loot from old Neptune. 365 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,720 He won't take me on again in a hurry! 366 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:49,400 Jove, while you were away we built a new temple to you on Palatine Hill. 367 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,040 That won't save you! 368 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,160 Down on your knees, all of you! 369 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:57,160 Bend your heads. I shall sever each one at the neck. 370 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:02,040 Merciful God! Would you spoil the great day of your return 371 00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:02,040 by the spilling of blood? 372 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,080 When they come to write the history of this memorable day, 373 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,120 should they have to mix it with the memory of the death of these fools? 374 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,360 Claudius is right, my lord. 375 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:13,200 My husband. 376 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,040 Think of your little daughter. 377 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,720 One day when she is older, she will read the account of your return. 378 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:24,920 Must these fools intrude on such a glorious page of history? 379 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,880 Your soft words 380 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,040 have appeased my wrath. 381 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,720 As we know, 382 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,760 prayer can soften the hearts of gods. 383 00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,240 You may go. 384 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,400 I shall inspect the temple in the morning. 385 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:03,720 How right you were, Jove, to think of punishing them for celebrating the Battle of Actium. 386 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,080 Well, you see, Marcus, I had them both ways. 387 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,120 If they hadn't, they would have insulted the god Augustus, my grandfather, who won the battle. 388 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:15,240 Agrippa was also there, and was your other grandfather... 389 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,200 Marcus Vinicius, 390 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,000 you are no longer my friend. 391 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:27,280 What have I said? 392 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:31,000 You reminded him that Agrippa was his grandfather. 393 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:35,040 But Agrippa was a great man! Yes, but of very low birth. 394 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,760 Such men do not produce gods, Marcus. 395 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,440 Certainly not one that's capable of 396 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,920 d-d-defeating N-Neptune. 397 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,040 If you're no longer his friend, 398 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,840 what can you be but his enemy? 399 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,920 Go your own way, Cassius! 400 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,040 If we all go our own way, 401 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,320 we shall all end by going the same way. 402 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:10,200 KNOCK ON DOOR 403 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,200 Yes, I'm coming. 404 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,480 Yes, yes. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! 405 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,120 Claudius, don't go. 406 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,920 They could be assassins. 407 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,080 Who are you? What do you want? 408 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,600 You're wanted at the palace. 409 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,640 Is that you, Cassius? Yes. Hurry up. 410 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,680 What's the matter? 411 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,960 My orders are to fetch you at once. 412 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,200 Marcus Vinicius and Asprenas too. 413 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,200 Never mind about dressing, just throw on a cloak. 414 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,520 How long have we been sitting here, do you think? 415 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,840 About two hours. 416 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,840 Must be nearly light. 417 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,040 What you think he's going to do with us? I don't know. 418 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,680 I just hope it's quick, that's all. 419 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,200 Claudius, I'm sorry I've made fun of you in the past. 420 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,040 It doesn't m-m-matter now. 421 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,120 Will you give me your hand? 422 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,120 Thank you, that's a great comfort. 423 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,480 CYMBAL CRASHES 424 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,880 MUSIC BEGINS 425 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:08,400 # Whene'er the god of Night sleeps on 426 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:14,600 # The rosy-fingered goddess Dawn 427 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,160 # Tiptoes on his domain 428 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,640 # And hence she flits across the sky from star to star 429 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,800 # She lightens darkness where she flies 430 00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,800 # And blows night's candles out 431 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,400 # Raging on her heels, Night treads 432 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,480 # And tries to hold her fast 433 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,320 # And bring her loveliness to bed 434 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,480 # And ravish her at last 435 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,960 # And every night 436 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,680 # He once but tries to win a single kiss 437 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,560 # To win a single kiss 438 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,760 # Before the morning sun 439 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,320 # Night will rob him of his prince 440 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,160 # And now she turns 441 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,120 # And Night he treads 442 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:24,320 # On hills everywhere 443 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:30,440 # She must awaken from their bed 444 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:37,480 # The secret lovers there 445 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:43,320 # But loathe to hurt They linger there 446 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:47,640 # She hurtles them away 447 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,680 # But oh, the Goddesses 448 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:58,960 # Must hear We worship you each day 449 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:04,600 # We worship you each day. # 450 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,560 Oh, god of gods! 451 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,320 Never have I witnessed a dance 452 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:21,800 that gave me such p-p-profound spiritual joy! 453 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:27,920 Did you like it? It was indescribable! 454 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,040 Well, it was only a rehearsal. 455 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:35,320 Oh, whatever will the finished performance be like?! 456 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,120 Get up. 457 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,280 Come here. 458 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,720 What did you think of the girl? 459 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,240 Oh, beautiful. 460 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,760 You old lecher! 461 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,400 Bring the girl back! 462 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,080 I'm going to marry her to you tomorrow! 463 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,480 T-t-to me? 464 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:09,600 It would be very funny. 465 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:09,600 All that loveliness married to a silly, crippled old fool like you! 466 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,160 What on earth would you do with it?! 467 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,880 Oh, Messalina! Come here. 468 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,400 I'm going to marry you... 469 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,320 to Uncle Claudius! 470 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,440 And you can both come and live in the palace! 471 00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,960 Thank you, Caesar. 472 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:40,800 Now, I must away to shed more light. 473 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:57,520 Oh yeah, the watchword tonight. 474 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,480 Bottom's up! 475 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:06,480 HE LAUGHS 476 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,880 I'll give you another watchword! 477 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,240 Liberty! 478 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:29,760 I-I-I-I-I'm sorry. 479 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,960 Don't you want to marry me? 480 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,680 Well, I... 481 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:42,120 It's just that I'm so much older than you. 482 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,320 I'd be very happy to be married to you. 483 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,600 To tell you the truth, I was terrified when he brought me here. 484 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,320 I thought he was going to... 485 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,440 I'd feel safe being married to you. 486 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,520 Do you think you could ever love me? 487 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,720 I think... 488 00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:17,760 I'm in... 489 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,240 l-l-love with you already. 490 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:42,800 Well, if I'm to be married tomorrow, I must go home and get ready. 491 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,680 Goodbye, Claudius. 492 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,040 G-G-G-G-G-G... 493 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,560 Goodbye! 494 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:25,000 Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, his family and friends. 495 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:51,480 Welcome, Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus, to you, your family and your friends. 496 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:57,280 I thank you, Messalina, for my family and my friends. 497 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,840 And I thank you for myself. 498 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,920 The noble senator, Incitatus. 499 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,280 You know everybody, don't you? 500 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,560 Find yourself a place. 501 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,760 He's never been to a wedding before. 502 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,880 His life has really opened up since I made him a senator. 503 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,680 Let the auspices be taken. 504 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,880 Kill him! 505 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,080 We've talked enough. I say kill him. 506 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,240 It's risky. 507 00:38:51,240 --> 00:38:54,360 You can't kill a man without taking a risk. 508 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,440 Those German guards never leave him. 509 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,600 There's always a way. 510 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,160 But are you with us? 511 00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:05,320 Or will you wait until he offers you poisoned fruit or has your throat cut? 512 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,000 It's all right for you - you're a soldier. 513 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,160 Yeah. You can leave the killing to me, 514 00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,360 but will you help? 515 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,240 He's right, Marcus. 516 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,760 The longer we leave it the more 517 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,760 certain it is we shan't survive. 518 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,880 All right, but when and where? 519 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:33,040 Tomorrow is the final day of the Games. 520 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,600 Let's do it then. 521 00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,440 Where? 522 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,720 There's a covered way 523 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,720 at the rear of the Imperial Box. 524 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:45,720 It's an exit you must persuade him to use. 525 00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:48,080 How? Find a reason. 526 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:52,240 Tell him there are crowds out front and that they'll delay his meal. 527 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,600 He'll have his German guards with him. 528 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,560 Yeah, now here's the tricky part. 529 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,520 Sabinus and I will be waiting outside. 530 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,640 You'll be in the box with Caligula and a few friends. 531 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,920 Normally, he would lead the way out, followed by his friends and the guards. 532 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:20,440 The staircase down to the covered way is narrow. 533 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,920 You must be sure to be behind Caligula. 534 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:28,480 As he steps out into the covered way, you must stumble or drop something, 535 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:32,040 anything to give us time to slam the gates from the outside 536 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,400 and separate Caligula from the guards. 537 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,440 That's all you have to do. 538 00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,560 And then what? 539 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:50,280 We call on the Senate to declare a republic 540 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:50,280 and put an end to this madness. 541 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,520 Who dies with Caligula? 542 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,680 The whole Imperial family. 543 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:59,160 Caesonia, the child, the two sisters, 544 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,200 and dear old Uncle Claudius and his new wife. 545 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,240 No, I don't want that. 546 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:13,680 We must! Whatever they think of Caligula, they won't rest 547 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:13,680 until they've removed his assassins. 548 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:16,520 None of us would be safe afterwards. 549 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:23,480 It's Caligula alone, or not at all. 550 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,680 All right, just Caligula. 551 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,880 Liberty. 552 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,240 And the Republic! 553 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:58,720 I don't like it. It's dangerous to leave the others alive. 554 00:41:58,720 --> 00:42:02,480 We shan't. I'll see to that, don't worry. 555 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,880 If they're in for Caligula, they're in for the lot. 556 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:10,560 CROWD CHEERS 557 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,000 Oh, damn! 558 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,320 I've lost all my money! Not playing any more. 559 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,600 Here my Lord, let me lend you some. 560 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,080 Lend? You know how I hate running up debts. 561 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,040 Oh. Well, HAVE half of my set. 562 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,800 Why am I so unlucky today? 563 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,520 Unless of course it's your dice we're playing with? 564 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:41,160 My dice? Why should my dice be any different from any other? 565 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,360 Well, a dice is a very personal thing - 566 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:47,000 one man's dice might be lucky for himself and not for his friend. 567 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,120 Here, my Lord, try these. 568 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,320 They were sent to me by Herod. 569 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,600 He claims they once belonged to Alexander the G-G-Great. 570 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,400 Really? I had no idea that Alexander played dice. 571 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:02,240 He had so many things in common with you, Lord. 572 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,920 CROWD CHEER 573 00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:05,920 What is it? 574 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,600 He's got the Thracian down. 575 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,880 The crowd want him spared, they've turned their thumbs up. 576 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,520 CROWD BOOS 577 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,160 He only had one neck. I'd hack it through. 578 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:43,800 That Thracian has lost me a lot of money over the last year. 579 00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,880 Alexander you say? Well, let's see. 580 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:53,840 By jove! 581 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,760 That looks promising. 582 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:58,920 Come on, pay up everybody! 583 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,440 I think I'm indebted to you uncle, you've changed my luck. 584 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,240 Some dice are fit only for gods to throw. 585 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,760 What about something to eat? 586 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,560 Is Caesar hungry? 587 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,080 No! 588 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:13,440 Oh! 589 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:17,440 I see what you mean! These dice were made for me. 590 00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,480 Come on, pay up again. 591 00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,560 You did me a lot of harm with those dice, Marcus. 592 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,880 And I'm raising the stakes to 3,000. 593 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,840 I've run out of money, Lord. 594 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,640 It doesn't matter - your new wife's got plenty. I'll take an IOU. 595 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:40,440 I've posted guards at both ends and told them to prevent anyone coming through here. 596 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,800 He'll be out soon. 597 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,320 I've dismissed the palace guards. 598 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,920 They're all at the Games. 599 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,080 Will you strike the first blow? 600 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,000 Jove himself couldn't stop me. 601 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,040 Well I can see you don't want to play anymore. You only like 602 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:04,040 playing when you're winning. 603 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,080 Shall we watch the Games for a while? 604 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,240 What about a swim and then something to eat? I don't think so. 605 00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,640 I don't feel very hungry today, but I've had a wonderful morning, 606 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,080 thanks to you. Is there any small favour I could grant you? Oh Lord, 607 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:23,360 please regard it as a small return for the great happiness you've given me with my new wife. 608 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:27,800 Happiness?! It wasn't supposed to make you happy, nor you her. 609 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,960 It was meant to be a joke. Oh no, you misunderstand me. 610 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,960 I'm so clumsy at expressing myself. 611 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:40,840 What I meant was that my happiness comes from contemplating yours. 612 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,320 To be the cause of so much merriment 613 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:48,680 is the source of deepest satisfaction to me. 614 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:50,520 Where are you going, Marcus? 615 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:55,200 To tell the truth, Lord, nature calls. 616 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,360 It must have something I ate last night. Don't look at me. 617 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:02,840 If i'd decided to doctor your food you wouldn't have to wait until morning to find out. 618 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:11,400 That's odd - he wanted to eat a moment ago. 619 00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,680 His behaviour is very strange lately. Strange? 620 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,680 Nervous. What's he got to be nervous about? 621 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,840 We're all nervous in your presence, Lord. 622 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,840 I've never been able to understand. 623 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,080 Excuse me... thank you. 624 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,560 He doesn't want to eat. We'll have to put it off, it won't work. 625 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,200 Then I'll go in and kill him where 626 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,200 he sits... Ceasar will cut you down. 627 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,000 What's that to me? 628 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,280 But I'll call on you for help before they do. 629 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:51,040 No, wait! 630 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:55,000 I'll tell him his Greek ballet have arrived. 631 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:56,720 He'll come out for that. 632 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,440 Anything, but get him out here! 633 00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:25,600 Lord, Cassius informs me your Greek ballet is here. 634 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,320 Greek ballet? Where are they? 635 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,280 Waiting outside to greet you. 636 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:33,040 Bring them in and present them. Just the boys, the girls can wait. 637 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:39,680 Lord, they say they have prepared a dance in your honour which they wish to perform for you outside. 638 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,880 Oh, in that case, we must not disappoint them. 639 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,400 Shall we go and see what they've prepared? 640 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,920 Lord, they're waiting at the rear. The front is too full of people. 641 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:53,880 Well, if they're as good as people say they are, 642 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,880 I might let them dance for me. 643 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,200 INDISTINCT SPEECH 644 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,520 The watchword, butcher, is liberty! 645 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,920 HE SCREAMS IN PAIN 646 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,000 No, you can't, I'm a god! You can't kill... 647 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,520 Drusilla! 648 00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:41,960 I'm dying, Drusilla! 649 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,480 Finish him! 650 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,320 This from our wives, Jove. 651 00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,640 You fools! You let them get him! 652 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:08,120 Your Empire! After them! 653 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,680 BABY CRIES 654 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,360 Oh, Cassius! Cassius, what's happened? Where's everybody gone? 655 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,280 BABY CRIES 656 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,280 Lord, the baby! 657 00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,000 SHE SCREAMS 658 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:42,040 SHE GRUNTS IN PAIN 659 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,120 SHOUTING 660 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,800 There's some stuff in here. Hurry up, lads. 661 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,240 Take what you can and let's get out before the Germans come. 662 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,600 Just get anything you can take. 663 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:38,440 Hey, sergeant? Yeah. 664 00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,680 Here's one of them. 665 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,640 It's one of the assassins. 666 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:45,360 Don't kill me, sir. 667 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,960 I had nothing to do with it. 668 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,760 You bastard. 669 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,760 Kill our beloved Emperor, would you? 670 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:52,440 Put us all out of work... 671 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:55,400 Wait a minute! That's not an assassin. 672 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,960 It's the Emperor's uncle, Germanicus' brother. 673 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:01,760 He's harmless. Leave him alone, can't you see he's crippled? Get up. 674 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,680 You see, the lads are a bit angry, sir. 675 00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,360 Without an emperor there's no Pretorian Guard 676 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,400 and it's back to the army for the lot of us. 677 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:15,200 I must go and find my wife. 'Course you must, sir. Claudus! 678 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,400 Take a couple of the lads and go with this gentleman. 679 00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:22,680 Why can't we have him for an emperor? What? 680 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:26,560 Old Claudius? Don't be stupid, lad. He's a simpleton, he's... 681 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,680 I don't know, he's better than nothing. 682 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,760 SHOUTING AND JEERING 683 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,760 I don't want to be Emperor! 684 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,280 I'd like to... 685 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,880 You, a member of the Imperial Family, sir? 686 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,600 Don't make me laugh. 687 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,960 Eh, lads, we've found an emperor. 688 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,040 Wait a minute! 689 00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,800 Just a minute, Herman. 690 00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,200 That's our new emperor. 691 00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:04,760 Kaiser! 692 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:09,120 EMPEROR! 693 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,600 Ja? Ja... 694 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:17,200 Lift him up, lads. Long live the Emperor Claudius! 695 00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:18,680 Put me down. 696 00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,600 Put me down! 697 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,680 Don't worry, sir, you'll get used it. 698 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,000 It's not such a bad life. 699 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,120 Put this on him. 700 00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:33,400 Put me down! I don't want to be an emperor. I'm from the republic... 701 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,280 Don't keep saying that sir, not in front of the Germans! 702 00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,840 they'll slit your throat. Now come on, smile. 703 00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,400 Smile, that's it, look at me. 704 00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,960 Long live the Emperor! 705 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:49,520 ALL: Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor! 706 00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:53,920 Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor! 707 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:58,200 Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor! 708 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:02,360 Long live the emperor! Long live the emperor! 709 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,440 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2006 710 00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:20,440 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk