1 00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,343 Welcome back. 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,079 Welcome back, Mr. President. 3 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,448 That was quite a journey you took. Yep. 4 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,317 I did what every doctor recommends for an 80 year old. 5 00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,521 A two day whirlwind trip to China. 6 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:25,592 I just flew on from China, and boy, are my legs swollen. 7 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,828 Very, very good, sir. That doesn't look good at all. 8 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,831 What are you talking about? It's bad. 9 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:31,498 You know what? 10 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,700 I'm sorry I didn't take you with me to China. 11 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:37,271 JD, I would have, but I didn't want to. 12 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,641 But I brought you a present that President XI Jinping gave me. 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:44,244 Oh, a finger trap. 14 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:48,048 Very nice. Right. Did you. What did you give him? Taiwan. 15 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:52,653 Now, JD, I need some time to relax and did not be around you. 16 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,689 Okay? You want me to leave? Is the Pope Catholic? 17 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,593 Not enough for me? 18 00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:03,463 Well, it's time for one of my patented midweek naps. 19 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:05,799 Just going to rest my head on this gold bar 20 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,802 that Switzerland gave me as a straight up bribe. 21 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:09,503 And sleep. 22 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:15,442 The sweet sleep of an addled, jetlagged mind. 23 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,311 Donald. 24 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:22,282 God damn. 25 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,250 Who's that? 26 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,918 Who's in here? 27 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,820 Don't worry, Donald, it's me. 28 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:30,991 Your best friend, Jeffrey Epstein. 29 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,461 Jeffrey. But I thought you were dead. 30 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,430 I am, remember? 31 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:40,801 I killed myself. Wink. 32 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,337 So how are you doing, Danny, baby? 33 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,905 Not so good, Jeffrey. 34 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,608 My approval ratings in the 30s. Oh, the 30s. Growth. 35 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:52,913 Call me when it hits 17. Ha ha ha. 36 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,115 Dark. Very dark. 37 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,316 It's a dark situation. 38 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,552 So, what are you up to these days, Jeff? 39 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:02,856 How's Evan? It's really, really hot. 40 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,558 But you know me, I keep busy. 41 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,829 Mahjong every Wednesday with Stalin and John Wayne Gacy. 42 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,932 That guy has stories. 43 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,802 What else? Oh, I just wrote for the Kevin Hart roast. 44 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,138 Had some fun zingers in there. 45 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,806 What about you, Donny, baby? 46 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,174 Any fun summer plans? 47 00:02:21,174 --> 00:02:23,276 Well, you know, we've got the World Cup. 48 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,178 A UFC fight on my lawn. 49 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:27,881 Like I'm white trash on WorldStar. 50 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,651 And we're also doing the Patriot Games, 51 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,820 where high school athletes come from all over the country. 52 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,490 Boy, your your your yoing. 53 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,959 Ha ha ha. Give me some. 54 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:39,593 You know what? 55 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:44,731 This time I'm going to leave you hanging. 56 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,600 Wow. Wow. Wonderful. 57 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,935 Yeah. Tremendous, man. 58 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:52,272 We had some fun times together, didn't we, Donny? Yeah. 59 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,941 We should have taken more pictures. 60 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:58,078 No. It's really bad that we took any. 61 00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:58,845 Damn it. 62 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,213 I miss you, homey. 63 00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,349 In case you're curious, like all ghosts, 64 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,619 I have the power to show you visions of the future. 65 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,654 Wow. I'm surprised there is one. 66 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,626 First, let me show you to where Kristi Noem is at. 67 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,728 In six months. 68 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:18,198 My fellow Americans, I know exactly what we need 69 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,933 to transform this country. 70 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,702 Oh, good. She's back in politics. 71 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,303 Not exactly. 72 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:26,073 It's the shark. One vacuum cleaner. 73 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:31,278 And for only 129, 99, it's the best way to clean up that mess. 74 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,314 Your dog made besides a gun. 75 00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:37,350 And it can even handle balloon scraps left over 76 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:41,988 from when your husband's giant balloon breasts pop. 77 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:42,589 Oh, wow. 78 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:46,593 I completely forgot about her husband's balloon beast thing. 79 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,495 Hey, that's a credit to you, buddy. 80 00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,530 Your administration's so crazy. 81 00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:54,401 Secret balloon top dogs. We're only a one day story. 82 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,370 That's actually worrisome. You know what else? About what? 83 00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,472 About beat heads. 84 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,841 Oh, let me show you, Pete. Six months from now. 85 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:06,513 Wow. I guess that's the last of it. 86 00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,115 Well, he gave up drinking. 87 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:10,417 Oh, no, he's not pouring it down the sink. 88 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:16,389 That's a giant beer bong. 89 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,694 Whew! 90 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,663 Oh, yeah, baby. Come on. Oh! 91 00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:28,635 Welcome back to the cash. Cash with cash and Pete. 92 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,370 Shout out to our sponsor. 93 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:35,942 My own personal line of Cologne in confidence for men. 94 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,745 Every bottle is full of my forehead. 95 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,780 Sweat from my mini senate grilling. 96 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:45,819 A smell so strong it'll cross your eyes. 97 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,988 And I've got an ad to read too, so listen up. 98 00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,023 But what? 99 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,292 You want people to think you're drinking water, 100 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,261 but you're actually getting wasted. 101 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,731 The reach for Poland sprung. 102 00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:01,201 It's the first ever hard water. 103 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,603 So when everyone around you tells you to stop. 104 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,106 That's when you know you gas to get from. 105 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,576 Well, if Pete's podcasting, I 106 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,579 guess that means that the war in Iran is over. Yep. 107 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,949 We came in second. 108 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,151 But, Donny. Just remember, no. 109 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,687 No matter how many wars you start 110 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:24,457 or how bad you tank, the economy as a distraction, 111 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:28,962 people will always associate you with me. 112 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,164 And that, my dear close friend. 113 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,601 That is a beautiful thing. 114 00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:39,372 Because, darling, when the morning comes 115 00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:44,444 and I see the morning sun. 116 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:49,249 I want to be the one with you. 117 00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:52,686 Just the two of us. 118 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,522 We can make it if we drive. 119 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,258 Just the two of us. 120 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,760 Just the two of us. 121 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,630 Just the two of us. 122 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:06,700 Building big castles way up high. 123 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,502 Just the two of us. 124 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,839 You and us. 125 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,077 And live from New York it█s Saturday night. 126 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,613 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 127 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,015 ♪♪ 128 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,183 >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY 129 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,253 NIGHT LIVE" WITH -- 130 00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:21,434 MUSICAL GUEST PAUL McCARTNEY! 131 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:26,339 AND YOUR HOST, WILL FERRELL! 132 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:31,144 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- WILL 133 00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,379 FERRELL! 134 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,747 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 135 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:49,329 ♪♪ 136 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,565 Oh! Whoo! 137 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:53,533 Thank you, thank you, 138 00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:57,237 thank you very, very much. I'm thrilled to be back here 139 00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:01,374 hosting Saturday Night Live, bro. 140 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:05,311 Was a cast member here for seven years, 141 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:09,649 and now I'm hosting for the sixth time. Amazing. 142 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:11,251 It really, really feels like. 143 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,519 It really feels like coming home. 144 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,955 Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey. 145 00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:22,295 Excuse me. 146 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:22,829 Whoa! 147 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,165 What the hell do you think you're doing? 148 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,100 I think I'm hosting the show. 149 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,802 You're not the host, I am. 150 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,338 You're Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 151 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,308 No! Shut up! Shut up! 152 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,477 Everyone shut up! 153 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,279 What the hell is wrong with you? He. 154 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:44,851 He pushed me down backstage, and I fell hard. 155 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:48,121 Lorne had to give me mouth to mouth. 156 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,690 Seriously, what are you even doing here? 157 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,593 Okay. I'm the musical guest tonight. 158 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,528 No you're not. No you're not. Chad. 159 00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:59,399 No. Paul McCartney is the musical guest. 160 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,668 Yeah. 161 00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:05,271 So just get off the stage. Get off the stage now! Go! 162 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,140 All right. 163 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,876 No, no, don't clap for him. Don't. 164 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,847 Don't clap for him. He's a bad guy. He's a bad guy. 165 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:17,150 God, I'm sorry. That was weird, right? 166 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,487 That was really weird. Okay, you know what? 167 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,355 Let's just do a hard reset. 168 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,290 All right? Yeah. Okay. 169 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:24,691 Okay. 170 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:29,796 It's so great to be here hosting SNL for the sixth time. 171 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,365 The season finale. 172 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:36,269 It's still weird, right? Yeah, it feels off. 173 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,606 You guys feel that? It's very off. I'm sorry. 174 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:44,410 Chad Smith, you took the wind out of my sails. This sucks. 175 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:46,246 I don't even know if we should do the show. 176 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,681 That's where I'm at emotionally. 177 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:51,184 Whatever. Okay, fine. You know what I'll just do. 178 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,419 I'll just do what the host does when he. 179 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:54,654 When they don't have any ideas. 180 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:58,258 So I'll just, I'll take questions from the audience. 181 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:01,427 Yeah. You, sir? Yeah. The cute one right there. 182 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:07,433 Yeah. 183 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,839 Yeah. 184 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,340 I have a question. 185 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,011 What do you think you're doing, Chad? 186 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:18,745 No. No, sir. 187 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,114 Paul McCartney. Well, why don't you come up here? 188 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:25,285 Just come on, come on. Like. 189 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,319 Look. 190 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,922 Look, I understand your confusion. 191 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:32,058 Me and Chad do look a lot alike, but I'm will. 192 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:36,062 I'm hosting tonight. Nice try. Chad. Get back! 193 00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:40,466 Get back behind the drums. Will you belong, Paul? 194 00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:44,671 With all due respect, you look like a fool right now. 195 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:49,008 Now, I know you've written a lot of good songs. 196 00:11:49,008 --> 00:11:50,743 Let it be. 197 00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,880 Hey, Jude. 198 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,582 Eleanor Rigby. 199 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,550 Yesterday. 200 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,453 Hello. Goodbye, lady Madonna. 201 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,822 Back in the USSR. 202 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:04,891 Jet. Maybe I'm amazed. 203 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,794 Helter Skelter. 204 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:10,964 Rocky raccoon. 205 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:11,698 Good night. Tonight. 206 00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,201 That's a that's a personal you blackbird. 207 00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:19,505 Oh, here, there and everywhere. 208 00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:22,508 Oh, bloody. Ta dah! 209 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,712 I've just seen a face. 210 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:29,382 Penny Lane. 211 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,083 Yeah, sure. 212 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,518 Fine. There's that one. 213 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,954 But people often forget there's some great songs. 214 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:39,025 You didn't write the alphabet song. 215 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:42,629 Timber featuring Pitbull. 216 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,599 I mean, all the Smash Mouth stuff. 217 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,735 Get your ass behind the drums, Chad. 218 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:49,502 Okay. Yes. 219 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,037 Yes, sir. Right away, sir, but. 220 00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,940 But first, we got a great show for you tonight. 221 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:58,745 Paul McCartney is here. Stick around. We'll be right back. 222 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,397 Oh, look, he's waking up. 223 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,298 Honey, the doctor wants to talk to you. 224 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:24,037 Oh, he stirred a sleepyhead. 225 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,805 How you feeling? 226 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,408 A little out of it. Yeah, that's. 227 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:32,945 Anesthesia will do that. Yeah, that's the strong stuff. 228 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,082 So the surgery was aces. 229 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,552 We got the gallbladder out. Easy peasy. 230 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,688 You'll have a teeny scar, but, 231 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,524 no one will see it unless you're a Speedo guy. 232 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:48,494 I am not. Oh. Probably best for everyone, 233 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,197 I'm right there with you now. 234 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:55,301 There is one other thing I want to briefly touch on. 235 00:13:55,301 --> 00:14:00,773 Okay? During the surgery, some wires got crossed 236 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:06,746 and I accidentally removed your penis. 237 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,818 I'm sorry. 238 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,486 I'm still very out of it. 239 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,054 What? You. 240 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:19,592 You accidentally removed my husband's penis. That's correct. 241 00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:24,897 And I feel awful about I. 242 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,734 I don't understand. How could this happen? 243 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:28,868 Yeah. Great question. 244 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:29,769 Okay, 245 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:32,271 look, in surgery, a nurse said, 246 00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:35,274 don't forget to remove and clean this, 247 00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:38,244 referring to a surgical tray. Okay. 248 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:43,583 What I heard was, don't forget to remove his penis. 249 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,218 So I did. 250 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:49,722 And, it's just one of those things. 251 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,525 It's just one of those things. 252 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,696 Can it. Can it be reattached? Yes, absolutely. 253 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,599 If we still have it. 254 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,733 What? 255 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,103 And here's here's where you might get a little miffed. 256 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:09,008 Might get a little miffed after I cut it off. 257 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:12,512 I dropped it down the bio waste chute, which goes 258 00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,081 right to the flash furnace. 259 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,684 So your penis was cremated, which 260 00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,154 just sucks. 261 00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,356 I don't understand how this could happen. 262 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,724 I mean, look, we could Monday morning 263 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:28,060 quarterback this thing to death, 264 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:32,064 but the score is not going to change. And again, I feel bad. 265 00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:37,136 You can ask my wife. I wasn't myself at lunch. 266 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:40,173 You went to lunch after? 267 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,443 Yes, but my mind was on this. 268 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,946 I didn't even look up when the chef did the onion volcano. 269 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,349 You went to Benihana? 270 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:54,086 No. Mr. Shinto hibachi castle. 271 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,155 It's a little livelier than Benihana. 272 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,458 The chefs engage you more. They'll roast you. I. 273 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,829 I don't care, doctor. What? What do I do? 274 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:07,266 How do I go to the bathroom now? How do I fix this? 275 00:16:07,266 --> 00:16:11,304 So those are all questions for the urologist. 276 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,974 You can't help me. You cut off his penis. 277 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,008 Okay, okay. 278 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:19,078 Just because I know how to chop down a tree 279 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:25,885 doesn't mean I know how to carve the wood into a table. 280 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,821 Just. Does that make sense? 281 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,858 Yeah, I know, I. 282 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:35,494 I win. When is the urologist coming, doctor? 283 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,764 I haven't spoken to one yet. 284 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,868 You didn't call a urologist? No. 285 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:45,104 I was at lunch with my wife. 286 00:16:45,104 --> 00:16:46,639 Are you serious? Okay. 287 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,775 Okay, look, one thing I can't deal with is yelling. 288 00:16:49,775 --> 00:16:53,546 Look, I get this is a this is a wacky situation. 289 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,282 Oh, okay. Wacky is not the word I use. 290 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,184 Ma'am, please don't be a bitch. 291 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,087 Excuse me. 292 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:05,157 Oh. Doctor. 293 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:09,128 Doctor? Doctor, I don't have. I don't have genitals. 294 00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,497 No no no no, that's not true. 295 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:17,136 You still listen to me. 296 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,938 Listen to me. 297 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:23,643 You still have your testicle. 298 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,512 Testicle. Singular. 299 00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:29,248 Doctor, I had two. What happened to the other one? 300 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,250 Were you going to tell us about this? 301 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,319 Ma'am, what did I say about being a bitch? 302 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:36,255 Okay, okay. No, you know what? 303 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:37,423 We don't want to talk to you anymore. 304 00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:41,427 Go call a urologist, okay? Okay. Fair enough. I'll go. 305 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,129 But I did see something on your husband's 306 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,865 shirt that I feel is worth mentioning. 307 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,365 What? 308 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,468 And that's what was right here. 309 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:53,940 What is it? Happy birthday. Oh my God! Okay. No! 310 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:57,009 Get out of here! Go get a god damn urologist. 311 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,844 All right. Happy birthday. 312 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:03,449 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 313 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,602 >>> MY GOD, HOW MANY ARE THERE? 314 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,103 >> 10,000 STRONG AT LEAST. 315 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:24,870 >> THE CASTLE WILL FALL BY 316 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:29,041 MORNING. 317 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:30,743 AND WITH IT THE KINGDOM OF MAN. 318 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:31,510 >> FIRST THEY'LL HAVE TO GET 319 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,244 THROUGH MY AX. 320 00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:35,481 >> AND MY BOW. 321 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,249 >> GREAT FRIENDS, YOUR WEAPONS 322 00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:39,752 ARE USELESS AGAINST THE HORDE. 323 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:40,486 OUR ONLY HOPE TO SLOW THEIR 324 00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:41,220 ADVANCE IS TO BLOW UP THE CASTLE 325 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,923 BRIDGE. 326 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,158 >> MY LORD, THE ONLY WAY TO 327 00:18:46,158 --> 00:18:47,626 LIGHT THE DOOM POWDER IS FROM 328 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,694 THE MIDDLE OF THE BRIDGE ITSELF. 329 00:18:48,694 --> 00:18:49,395 >> AND WHOEVER DOES THAT WILL 330 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:54,367 FACE -- CERTAIN DEATH. 331 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,701 >> WHAT BRAVE SOUL WOULD MAKE 332 00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:56,202 SUCH A SACRIFICE? 333 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,971 >> I'LL GO. 334 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,741 >> BOBBIN THE HALFLING? 335 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:02,975 >> BOBBIN, OLD FRIEND, ARE YOU 336 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,745 SURE? 337 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:06,479 >> MY DEER FANDORF, I'VE NEVER 338 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,480 BEEN SO SURE OF ANYTHING IN MY 339 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:12,985 LIFE. 340 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:17,590 ♪ MY TIME HAS COME I KNOW WHAT I 341 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,725 MUST DO ♪ 342 00:19:19,725 --> 00:19:22,962 ♪ I BID FAREWELL TO THE DWARVES 343 00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,230 AND THE ELVES AND TO THE 344 00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:28,234 BROTHERHOOD I SAY ADIEU ♪ 345 00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:34,740 ♪ THROW WIDE THE GATES 346 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:40,713 I CHOOSE MY FATE ♪ 347 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:41,514 ♪ AND I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO ♪ 348 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,249 ♪ I HAVE TO SWITCH SIDES ♪ 349 00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,250 [ LAUGHTER ] 350 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,185 >> WHAT THE [ BLEEP ]? 351 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:46,952 >> PERHAPS HE'S ATTEMPTING TO 352 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:47,720 FIGHT THEM ALL BY HIMSELF? 353 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,257 >> DEFINITELY NOT. 354 00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,191 HE THREW HIS SWORD IN THE MOAT 355 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:52,958 AND NOW HE'S TALKING TO THEM AND 356 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,460 POINTING IN OUR DIRECTION. 357 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,930 >> BOBBIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 358 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,965 ♪ SHOW THEM A BLUEPRINT OF THE 359 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,467 CASTLE AND POINT OUT THE WEAKEST 360 00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,702 SPOTS RIGHT HERE ♪ 361 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:05,704 ♪ HELP THEM TO POISON THE WATER 362 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,706 SUPPLY AND BURN ALL THE LOCAL 363 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,210 CROPS MY BAD ♪ 364 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,712 ♪ SHOW THE BIGGEST ORCS MY 365 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,946 LITTLE BOBBIN PENIS AND MAKE 366 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,949 THEM LAUGH A LOT ♪ 367 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,485 IT IS SMALL. 368 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,453 ♪ LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH MY ORC 369 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:24,724 WIFE I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪ 370 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,192 >> WOW, YOU'RE BIG. 371 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,327 >> WHY IS EVERYONE CROWDING 372 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,195 AROUND ME? 373 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,664 >> ARGGHH! 374 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,698 >> WELL, GUESS THAT'S THE END OF 375 00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:35,468 BOBBIN, THEN. 376 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,202 >> NOW WHAT BRAVE SOUL WILL TAKE 377 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:36,969 HIS PLACE AND DESTROY THE 378 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:37,703 BRIDGE? 379 00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:38,471 >> I WILL DO IT. 380 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:39,238 NEVER SEND A HALFLING TO DO A 381 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,708 DWARF'S JOB. 382 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:43,709 ♪ THROW WIDE THE GATES I CHOOSE 383 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:49,448 MY FATE ♪ 384 00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:54,220 ♪ AND I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO ♪ 385 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:55,454 [ LAUGHTER ] 386 00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:56,722 ♪ I'M STILL ALIVE ♪ 387 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,225 >> HOW THAT IS POSSIBLE? 388 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,693 ♪ I MADE A DEAL WITH THE ORCS 389 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:01,961 THAT CONVINCED THEM NOT TO 390 00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,965 MURDER ME ♪ 391 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,435 ♪ THEN I KILLED MY OWN FRIEND TO 392 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,438 PROVE TO THEM MY LOYALTY ♪ 393 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:17,209 ♪ I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪ 394 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:17,977 >> WELL, AT LEAST WE STILL HAVE 395 00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,211 YOUR AMULET OF INVINCIBILITY, 396 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:22,214 FANDOLF. 397 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,449 >> OH, I THINK BOBBIN STOLE IT 398 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:24,717 ON HIS WAY OUT. 399 00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:25,718 NOW HE'S GIVING IT TO THEIR 400 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:26,719 MEANEST GUY. 401 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,720 >> THERE YOU GO, NOW YOU CAN'T 402 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,687 DIE. 403 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:30,956 >> OH, COME ON. 404 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,224 ♪ I LIVE MY ORC LIFE WITH MY ORC 405 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,226 WIFE ♪ 406 00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:36,195 >> OH! 407 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,429 >> OH! 408 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:38,464 >> WAIT, BEFORE I DIE, I SHOULD 409 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,465 PROBABLY TELL YOU THE WOMEN AND 410 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,199 CHILDREN ARE HIDING BENEATH THE 411 00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:41,967 CASTLE. 412 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:42,935 >> THAT'S OUR BOBBIN, A TRUE 413 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,937 COWARD. 414 00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:47,573 ♪ I'M SWITCHING SIDES ♪ 415 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:54,180 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 416 00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,331 So I thought, oh, I'm so sexy, so stressing. 417 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,434 Guys, like, I really want a good part in the spring musical. 418 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,536 I know my tears almost over and Mr. 419 00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,872 Connick still hasn't posted the cast list. 420 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,073 What's taking so long? 421 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,775 It's grease Madison. 422 00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,109 There's like a ton of speaking roles. 423 00:22:24,109 --> 00:22:25,444 The whole I'm freaking out. 424 00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,180 Okay, Marcy, just try to make us laugh. 425 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:33,519 Me watching a Jacob Elordi movie, girl voter. Oh. 426 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:40,259 Oh oh. 427 00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:40,826 Look at you. 428 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:45,598 All buzzing about like flies to fresh cocker. 429 00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,099 I love your outfit, Mr. Connick. 430 00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,435 I wish I dressed as cool as you. Lucas. 431 00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:52,504 If you're going to stick your nose that far up my ass, 432 00:22:52,504 --> 00:22:56,442 at least check my colon for polyps. 433 00:22:56,442 --> 00:22:59,445 Mr. Connick, how's the Teslas coming along? 434 00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:02,548 Slowly. This show needs to be a hit. 435 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:04,817 After the fall musical flopped, 436 00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:07,486 but I still contend that doing The Color Purple 437 00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:12,491 with an all white cast was brave. 438 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:13,826 Anyway, 439 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,095 I wanted to let you know that the school board 440 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:19,565 is pressuring me to cast one particular student. 441 00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:25,571 I won't say who, but I'm really, really mad about it. 442 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:34,780 Oh my God, who do you think he's talking about? Me? 443 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:36,315 Don't get in your head, Amy. 444 00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:39,685 God, I'm so scared. I'm going to get put in the chorus. 445 00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,020 What are you talking about? 446 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,688 You always get the lead, Dyson. 447 00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,356 Yeah, but ever since I booked that 448 00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:46,158 Honey Nut Cheerios commercial, Mr. 449 00:23:46,158 --> 00:23:49,995 Cronin has been, like, weirdly jealous and mean to me. Whoa! 450 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:52,765 Be careful what you say, okay? There's a rumor Mr. 451 00:23:52,765 --> 00:24:01,941 Coating likes to watch us spin out through that wicked poster. 452 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,476 I don't care what part I get, as long as it's not a tree. 453 00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:06,512 I've been a tree the last five years. 454 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:10,983 You're a senior, Lexi. There's no way you're going to be a tree 455 00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,952 catcher. 456 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,689 Don't ask me about the cast list, guys. 457 00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:20,659 You know the teacher's assistant isn't allowed to say anything. 458 00:24:20,659 --> 00:24:24,363 Lexi. Mr. Koenig wants to get a picture of you. 459 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:27,499 Can you do me a favor and hold this? 460 00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:31,270 Don't read into this. Don't read into this. 461 00:24:31,270 --> 00:24:34,440 Can you hold them high, please? Can you. 462 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,209 Can you sway in the breeze a little bit? 463 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:41,480 Yay! Excellent. 464 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,751 Thank you. 465 00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:46,218 Yeah. 466 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:52,725 You know, Nancy, Oh, 467 00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:56,695 I just had a few questions before I finalize the cast list. 468 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,263 Is that okay, Mr. 469 00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:02,101 Hollywood, or do I need to go through your agent? 470 00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:03,268 I don't have an agent. 471 00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,971 I just eat cereal in the background of that commercial. 472 00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:08,907 I had no lines, sir. 473 00:25:08,907 --> 00:25:12,344 No lines. I like that for you 474 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,413 now, Tyler. 475 00:25:14,413 --> 00:25:15,080 Yes, Mr. 476 00:25:15,414 --> 00:25:19,218 Connick, you're you're in the mix for Danny Zuko. 477 00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:21,553 But I don't know if audiences are ready to accept 478 00:25:21,553 --> 00:25:24,723 a ginger as a leading man. 479 00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:28,594 Would you be willing to dye your hair black? 480 00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:33,465 Of course. All of your hair. 481 00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:37,569 Whatever it takes, sir. Gracious. Shannon. 482 00:25:37,569 --> 00:25:41,306 Yes? Mr. Connick, what are you doing here? 483 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,542 You're one of those weird Christian teenagers, 484 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,110 and there's kissing in this show. 485 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:49,381 Would you even know what to do? Oh, I know how to French. 486 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,050 I know how to French. Kiss. Watch. 487 00:25:51,050 --> 00:25:55,821 Oh, oh, you stop. 488 00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:59,024 I've. I've seen worse. 489 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:02,895 Oliver. Lucas. Oliver. Yes, yes. Mr.. Yes. 490 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,130 You're both up for the role of Kenickie. 491 00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:07,032 But I'm worried you're too dorky and awkward 492 00:26:07,032 --> 00:26:10,602 to bring the raw masculinity of the role demands. 493 00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:13,372 Casper show them what an alpha male sounds like. 494 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:19,311 Yes, Mr. König, I can show you the world's shining, shimmering. 495 00:26:19,311 --> 00:26:22,681 Splendid. Stop! 496 00:26:22,681 --> 00:26:25,884 Oh, grow boner. 497 00:26:25,884 --> 00:26:27,386 Exactly. 498 00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:31,557 Why did you have to graduate? Why, 499 00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:32,491 Madison. 500 00:26:32,491 --> 00:26:33,125 Yes, Mr. 501 00:26:33,492 --> 00:26:36,962 Kotick, I want you for Sandy. But she's chesty. 502 00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:38,697 Would you be willing to wear a push up 503 00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,966 bra with water balloons in it? 504 00:26:40,966 --> 00:26:43,569 I'd be honored, sir. Wonderful. 505 00:26:43,569 --> 00:26:45,904 To quote the great William Shakespeare, 506 00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:51,777 sluts with teats put butts in seats. 507 00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,646 And that just leaves the two jocks 508 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,949 who have to do the show for elective credit. 509 00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:59,985 Could could you to handle leading roles. 510 00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,420 Now we got to miss most rehearsals. 511 00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:03,822 Yeah, because we got valuable. 512 00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:08,994 Oh, that only makes me want you more. 513 00:27:08,994 --> 00:27:11,497 One last thing. What was it? 514 00:27:11,497 --> 00:27:16,735 Oh, the show is cast. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. 515 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:19,404 Oh, wow, I have tissues. 516 00:27:19,404 --> 00:27:24,443 If anyone cries, maybe you should hold them. I'm. 517 00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:31,583 Oh my God. Right. Deep deep. 518 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:33,785 Back up, back up, 519 00:27:33,785 --> 00:27:36,255 back up. Give me room. 520 00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:42,227 The choreographer must initial the list first. She. 521 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:59,278 Come home. 522 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:00,512 Let's get you home. Be. 523 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:07,452 Oh, yeah. 524 00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:11,523 And of course, our music director and choir teacher. 525 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:23,468 Miss Peebles. Hey! 526 00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:32,945 A couple of things about me. 527 00:28:32,945 --> 00:28:36,982 First of all, some people say that I'm too handsy with boys. 528 00:28:36,982 --> 00:28:38,850 That's a lie. 529 00:28:38,850 --> 00:28:40,619 I don't know who started it. 530 00:28:40,619 --> 00:28:43,488 And number two, I am tough as nails. 531 00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:44,623 But guess what? 532 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:48,360 I get results. Watch this. You with a sweatshirt? Come here. 533 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,029 Sing me the highest note that you can. Okay. 534 00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:55,033 How? Come on. You can do better than that. 535 00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:56,768 Tummy in. Yeah. 536 00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:59,605 Oh, you got nice abs 537 00:28:59,605 --> 00:29:03,075 ass out and you got a scratch. 538 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,178 Desire. 539 00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:11,316 Hey, I. 540 00:29:11,316 --> 00:29:15,587 Know that's what you're talking about. 541 00:29:15,587 --> 00:29:16,321 Doggies. 542 00:29:16,588 --> 00:29:19,958 Come get your treats. Oh, my God, don't we have. 543 00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,928 Oh my God. Yeah, right. Turn it up. 544 00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:26,732 Caspar got daddy Zuko. He's not even a student. 545 00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:30,636 Sorry, guys. That's just showbiz. 546 00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,938 Oh, my gosh, look at them. 547 00:29:32,938 --> 00:29:35,741 Oh, so bad. 548 00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,510 Bad? Don't you mean wicked? 549 00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,179 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha! 550 00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:01,133 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PAUL 551 00:30:01,133 --> 00:30:02,801 McCARTNEY! 552 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:06,238 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 553 00:30:06,238 --> 00:30:07,739 ♪♪ 554 00:30:07,739 --> 00:30:15,714 ♪♪ 555 00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:17,249 ♪ LOOKING BACK AT 556 00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:19,718 WHITE AND BLACK 557 00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:24,456 REMINDERS OF MY PAST ♪ 558 00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:25,490 ♪ SMOKY BARS 559 00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:28,960 AND CHEAP GUITARS 560 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:34,700 BUT NOTHING BUILT TO LAST ♪ 561 00:30:34,700 --> 00:30:38,937 ♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING EVER STAYS 562 00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:44,209 NOTHING COMES TO MIND 563 00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:49,715 NO ONE CAN ERASE 564 00:30:49,715 --> 00:30:53,218 THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪ 565 00:30:53,218 --> 00:31:01,727 ♪♪ 566 00:31:01,727 --> 00:31:03,962 ♪ SEE THE BOYS OF 567 00:31:03,962 --> 00:31:07,466 DUNGEON LANE ALONG 568 00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:10,702 THE MERSEY SHORE ♪ 569 00:31:10,702 --> 00:31:17,209 ♪ SOME OF THEM WILL 570 00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:23,949 FEEL THE PAIN 571 00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:24,950 BUT SOME WERE MEANT 572 00:31:24,950 --> 00:31:26,451 FOR MORE ♪ 573 00:31:26,451 --> 00:31:27,953 ♪ AND NOTHING STAYS THE SAME 574 00:31:27,953 --> 00:31:31,456 NO ONE NEEDS TO CRY 575 00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:34,993 NOTHING CAN RECLAIM 576 00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:41,700 THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪ 577 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:43,201 ♪ WE MET AT FORTHLIN ROAD 578 00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:46,204 AND WROTE A SECRET CODE 579 00:31:46,204 --> 00:31:52,210 TO NEVER BE SPOKEN ♪ 580 00:31:52,210 --> 00:31:53,445 ♪ I STAND BY WHAT I SAID 581 00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:59,951 THE PROMISE THAT I MADE 582 00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:06,458 WILL NEVER BE BROKEN ♪ 583 00:32:06,458 --> 00:32:08,460 ♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING EVER STAYS 584 00:32:08,460 --> 00:32:11,963 NOTHING COMES TO MIND 585 00:32:11,963 --> 00:32:15,700 AND NO ONE CAN ERASE 586 00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:19,971 THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪ 587 00:32:19,971 --> 00:32:28,980 ♪♪ 588 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:32,217 ♪ IN THE SKIES THE SKYLARKS 589 00:32:32,217 --> 00:32:33,952 RISE ABOVE THE SOUNDS 590 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:39,458 OF WAR ♪ 591 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:40,959 ♪ SINCE THAT DAY I KNEW 592 00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,460 THEY'D STAY WITH ME 593 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:47,466 FOREVERMORE ♪ 594 00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:48,200 ♪ 'CAUSE NOTHING STAYS 595 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:57,976 THE SAME 596 00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,244 NO ONE NEEDS TO CRY ♪ 597 00:32:59,244 --> 00:33:01,746 ♪ NO ONE IS TO BLAME 598 00:33:01,746 --> 00:33:03,482 FOR THE DAYS 599 00:33:03,482 --> 00:33:08,486 WE LEFT BEHIND 600 00:33:08,486 --> 00:33:13,492 THE DAYS WE LEFT BEHIND ♪ 601 00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:20,232 ♪♪ 602 00:33:20,232 --> 00:33:22,300 ♪♪ 603 00:33:22,300 --> 00:33:32,611 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 604 00:33:43,221 --> 00:33:49,227 It's Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che. 605 00:34:00,939 --> 00:34:01,806 Thank you. 606 00:34:01,806 --> 00:34:05,777 Good evening. Thank you. 607 00:34:05,777 --> 00:34:08,747 Oh, God. Jesus. Good evening everyone. 608 00:34:08,747 --> 00:34:13,018 Welcome to weekend update. I'm Michael che. I'm Colin Jost. 609 00:34:13,018 --> 00:34:17,656 I'm. This week President Trump traveled 14,000 610 00:34:17,656 --> 00:34:19,591 miles round trip to China 611 00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:23,061 for a 48 hour summit, which historians are already 612 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,431 calling could have been an email. 613 00:34:26,431 --> 00:34:27,465 President Trump 614 00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:30,402 arrived in China, but instead of XI Jinping, 615 00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:33,672 he was greeted by the country's vice president, Han Zhong. 616 00:34:33,672 --> 00:34:39,344 Or, as Trump called him, XI Jinping. 617 00:34:39,344 --> 00:34:42,614 President Trump was greeted at the Great Hall of the people 618 00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:45,483 by schoolchildren jumping up and down in excitement, 619 00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:51,489 shouting, it's the man from the hats we make. 620 00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:55,760 President Trump brought his son Eric to China 621 00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:01,766 as a gift. 622 00:35:03,535 --> 00:35:04,069 This week, 623 00:35:04,469 --> 00:35:06,538 CIA Director John Ratcliffe traveled to Cuba, 624 00:35:06,538 --> 00:35:10,475 which has run out of oil and is experiencing massive blackouts. 625 00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:13,511 We sent the CIA director because the FBI guy 626 00:35:13,511 --> 00:35:15,981 is also experiencing massive blackouts. 627 00:35:18,917 --> 00:35:22,187 U.S. and Chinese authorities conducted a joint operation 628 00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:24,923 to arrest members of a drug smuggling ring. 629 00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:29,294 So great work. Agents Carter and Lee. 630 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:30,996 Cole Thomas Allen has pleaded 631 00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:33,732 not guilty to attempting to assassinate the president, 632 00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:37,502 a crime which carries a maximum penalty of life in prison. 633 00:35:37,502 --> 00:35:38,870 He could also be charged with trying 634 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,405 to kill the vice president, 635 00:35:40,405 --> 00:35:46,411 which carries a maximum penalty of a full pardon. 636 00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:52,817 That's the real serial health secretary, RFK Jr. 637 00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:58,823 Seen here showing how vaccines turn you gay. 638 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:04,729 Said that during an Oval Office event that in 1970, men 639 00:36:04,729 --> 00:36:08,566 had twice the sperm count, as our teenagers do today. 640 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:11,469 The teenage sperm counts were measured at the. 641 00:36:11,469 --> 00:36:15,974 You sure this is legal Institute? 642 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,909 President Trump said in an interview 643 00:36:17,909 --> 00:36:22,514 that he is now referring to Democrats as Democrats 644 00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:23,782 because they're dumb. 645 00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,719 Clever. 646 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:29,587 He's also referring to himself 647 00:36:29,587 --> 00:36:35,593 as the greatest president of all time. 648 00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:40,832 According to a senior official. 649 00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:42,734 President Trump keeps a letter in the Resolute 650 00:36:42,734 --> 00:36:45,003 Desk addressed to Vice President J.D. 651 00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:48,173 Vance in the event he dies. Or is assassinated. 652 00:36:48,173 --> 00:36:53,712 The letter reads simply, I wish it had been you. 653 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,246 President Trump has rejected 654 00:36:55,246 --> 00:36:58,650 Iran's latest demands in the war, including recognition 655 00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:02,353 of Iranian sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz and U.S. 656 00:37:02,353 --> 00:37:03,922 War reparations. 657 00:37:03,922 --> 00:37:06,091 You want reparations from America? 658 00:37:06,091 --> 00:37:10,361 Get in line, honey. 659 00:37:10,361 --> 00:37:14,199 Yeah. 660 00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:15,667 It's that simple. 661 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:18,703 Texas Senator John Cornyn has introduced legislation 662 00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,873 to rename a state highway Trump interstate, 663 00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:24,209 because for some reason, people associate Trump 664 00:37:24,209 --> 00:37:30,215 with traffic across state lines. 665 00:37:33,852 --> 00:37:36,755 Conservative political figure Carrie Legge has been appointed 666 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:40,191 by President Trump to be the next ambassador to Jamaica. 667 00:37:40,191 --> 00:37:41,893 Lake says her top priority 668 00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:44,596 would be to convert reggae to red, straight. 669 00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:54,939 FIFA announced that this year's World Cup 670 00:37:54,939 --> 00:37:57,408 final will have a halftime show featuring Madonna, 671 00:37:57,408 --> 00:37:59,744 Shakira and Beats, which is being 672 00:37:59,744 --> 00:38:05,750 described as something for everyone to dislike. 673 00:38:05,950 --> 00:38:07,685 A recent poll found that three fourths 674 00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:09,354 of Americans believe the right to free 675 00:38:09,354 --> 00:38:11,489 speech is heading in the wrong direction. 676 00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:14,225 Here, to cut through the noise and speak his mind is Mr. 677 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:17,095 on Blast. 678 00:38:17,095 --> 00:38:20,431 Hello, Colleen. Ha ha. 679 00:38:20,431 --> 00:38:21,232 That's right. 680 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:21,800 I'm Mr. 681 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,668 on blast. And unlike other fools, 682 00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:27,038 I ain't afraid to speak truth to power. 683 00:38:27,038 --> 00:38:33,044 So get ready because no one is safe from being put on blast. 684 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:35,947 Okay. 685 00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:37,549 All right, well, go ahead. Lay it on us. 686 00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:41,186 All right. First up, I. What are we doing? 687 00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:41,653 Prompts. 688 00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:47,659 This prompts that I more like p u Blast. 689 00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:53,631 All right. 690 00:38:53,631 --> 00:38:56,434 Kind of starting at a C minus. Sure. 691 00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:58,836 Okay, y'all want to talk about the metaverse? 692 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,039 Why don't you go read a Bible verse? 693 00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:04,209 Wait for your Christian devo. 694 00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:05,610 And to all those A.I. 695 00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:10,782 companies in Silicon Valley, Gemini, Claude ChatGPT. 696 00:39:10,782 --> 00:39:14,586 More like chat g p u. Oh, blast! 697 00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,135 Of the. 698 00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:33,104 Where did where did the cake come from? 699 00:39:33,104 --> 00:39:37,141 Oh, you're not ready for that conversation, sweet cheeks. 700 00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:39,510 Just don't touch my 701 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:43,715 sweet cheeks or touch my hands. That's right. Okay. Next up. 702 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:47,418 Stock market always going up, always going down. 703 00:39:47,418 --> 00:39:48,353 Here's an idea. 704 00:39:48,353 --> 00:39:49,587 Stay still. 705 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:55,593 I'm blast. 706 00:40:00,498 --> 00:40:01,299 Okay. 707 00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:06,804 Okay, okay. No! Stop it! No! 708 00:40:06,804 --> 00:40:08,473 You want. 709 00:40:08,473 --> 00:40:11,209 You want the stock market to stay still? 710 00:40:11,209 --> 00:40:14,979 Yeah. I'm ruthless because blasting is my mitzvah. 711 00:40:14,979 --> 00:40:16,981 I am. 712 00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:21,185 Wait, you're Jewish too? Devout. 713 00:40:21,185 --> 00:40:23,688 Now blasting on toward CEOs. 714 00:40:23,688 --> 00:40:26,724 Or should I say CEO knows? 715 00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:29,727 Hey, CEOs, I hear you make a lot of money. 716 00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:32,697 Too bad you can't buy yourself a moral compass. 717 00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:34,365 I'm blessed. Hi, I'm Mr. 718 00:40:34,365 --> 00:40:36,734 on Blast, and I'm in the place where they put the pictures. 719 00:40:48,112 --> 00:40:49,480 What the hell? 720 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,182 How did you do that? 721 00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:56,387 My grandson works on the show. You have a grandson to vouch. 722 00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:58,890 Now give me and my family a break. Colleen. 723 00:40:58,890 --> 00:41:00,858 It's hard up here. 724 00:41:00,858 --> 00:41:03,828 Yeah, you know what? I actually, I bet it is hard. 725 00:41:03,828 --> 00:41:05,263 Especially when, you out here 726 00:41:05,263 --> 00:41:07,665 looking like a lesbian, Bruno Mars. 727 00:41:07,665 --> 00:41:13,638 Last. 728 00:41:13,871 --> 00:41:19,844 No. Why did mom sound like that? 729 00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:22,880 Looks like you just got put on blast. Blast, boys. 730 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:28,886 Get out here! 731 00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:47,772 Whoa! 732 00:41:52,243 --> 00:41:53,544 Okay. 733 00:41:53,544 --> 00:41:55,446 Yeah, I know what's going to happen. 734 00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:57,215 Okay. Miss your on blast. 735 00:41:57,215 --> 00:42:01,652 Everyone is now devout. 736 00:42:01,652 --> 00:42:03,621 Devout? Kind of blaster. 737 00:42:03,621 --> 00:42:05,523 Kind of 738 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,358 a contestant on The Price Is Right. 739 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,061 Recently won the largest single episode 740 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:12,096 prize in the show's history. 741 00:42:12,096 --> 00:42:18,369 One night with Drew Carey. 742 00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:21,272 Researchers studying the 59,000 year old 743 00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:23,174 teeth of a Neanderthal believe 744 00:42:23,174 --> 00:42:26,544 they found the first evidence of an attempt to fill a cavity. 745 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:29,747 The evidence was this stone tablet denying coverage. 746 00:42:32,750 --> 00:42:34,585 Happy birthday to music legend 747 00:42:34,585 --> 00:42:40,324 Stevie Wonder, who this week turned right for 748 00:42:40,324 --> 00:42:41,292 Stevie Wonder 749 00:42:41,526 --> 00:42:44,996 this week turned 76 and received his favorite birthday gift. 750 00:42:44,996 --> 00:42:51,002 Another hand full of diamonds. 751 00:42:55,273 --> 00:42:58,443 A scientist has discovered a new species of flower 752 00:42:58,443 --> 00:43:01,913 that only exists in new Jersey, where it is 753 00:43:01,913 --> 00:43:07,919 where it is bullied constantly for looking like a pussy. 754 00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:11,489 This week marks the 40th anniversary 755 00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:16,260 of the modern NBC Peacock logo, which debuted in 1986. 756 00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:17,728 And if that peacock could talk, 757 00:43:17,728 --> 00:43:23,734 I bet it's a Bill Cosby raped me. 758 00:43:26,404 --> 00:43:29,674 Well. 759 00:43:29,674 --> 00:43:31,375 You can't believe it hasn't already started. 760 00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,711 But tonight we have another edition 761 00:43:33,711 --> 00:43:39,717 where it's saying I give each other jokes to read and. 762 00:43:42,153 --> 00:43:43,754 So, yeah, we're making some of the regionals 763 00:43:43,754 --> 00:43:46,157 live on air that the other person's never seen before. 764 00:43:47,525 --> 00:43:49,827 Are you nervous getting ready? 765 00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:50,962 No. This is it's. 766 00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:52,930 Yeah, it's it's gonna be fun. We're going to be 767 00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:57,201 fun to each other and to our families. 768 00:43:57,201 --> 00:43:59,704 And it's out of love. 769 00:43:59,704 --> 00:44:01,806 Yes. Why don't you go first, Colin? 770 00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:08,913 Sure. 771 00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:13,818 Mattel has introduced a new Barbie that has autism. 772 00:44:13,818 --> 00:44:19,824 Now it's going to feel wrong when I have sex with it. 773 00:44:22,860 --> 00:44:25,863 Feel wrong? 774 00:44:25,863 --> 00:44:27,899 A new study finds that the average length 775 00:44:27,899 --> 00:44:32,370 of an erect penis in the country is 6.34in. 776 00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:37,408 Oh, boy. That means I'm only six inches below average. 777 00:44:37,408 --> 00:44:43,414 Now I just have to figure out how to get erect. 778 00:44:45,049 --> 00:44:48,419 I like, I like that is a challenge for you. 779 00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:50,855 Michael B Jordan won Best actor 780 00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:53,925 for his role in the vampire movie sinners. 781 00:44:53,925 --> 00:44:57,061 A black vampire is just like a white vampire. 782 00:44:57,061 --> 00:45:00,531 Except the only thing it sucks dry is the welfare state. 783 00:45:05,469 --> 00:45:08,806 Colin. 784 00:45:08,806 --> 00:45:13,244 Now, now, that was just a joke. 785 00:45:13,244 --> 00:45:14,912 I'm not a racist. 786 00:45:14,912 --> 00:45:17,848 And to prove it, I, Colin Jost, 787 00:45:17,848 --> 00:45:21,586 hereby pledge this season's salary 788 00:45:21,586 --> 00:45:28,125 to Doctor Umar school for Black Boys. 789 00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:30,728 Now, y'all might know. 790 00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:33,598 Y'all might not know who that is, 791 00:45:33,598 --> 00:45:39,604 but the brothers at home is nodding their heads. 792 00:45:45,276 --> 00:45:48,946 No one in our white audience understands. 793 00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:53,951 And if that's not enough, I have a beautiful new, very 794 00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:56,687 ready to give any black person 795 00:45:56,687 --> 00:46:02,693 a free one way trip back to the motherland. 796 00:46:04,862 --> 00:46:11,402 Oh. I would have ended it at the Doctor Who, but I think 797 00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:14,572 a new study suggested 798 00:46:14,572 --> 00:46:17,174 a new study suggests that men are less likely 799 00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:19,710 to suffer from erectile dysfunction 800 00:46:19,710 --> 00:46:21,779 if they drink grape juice. 801 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:25,082 Which explains why my boyfriend is always rock hard. 802 00:46:29,654 --> 00:46:34,225 Oh. Oh. 803 00:46:34,225 --> 00:46:40,231 Speaking of giving little boys juice. 804 00:46:43,534 --> 00:46:46,370 You're a terrible person. 805 00:46:46,370 --> 00:46:47,004 The movie. 806 00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:49,874 Michael won the box office again this weekend. 807 00:46:49,874 --> 00:46:52,376 And since a few members of the Jackson 808 00:46:52,376 --> 00:46:55,446 family are actually in the audience tonight, 809 00:46:55,446 --> 00:46:56,881 I wanted to take a moment 810 00:46:56,881 --> 00:46:59,950 and tell everybody what I really think. 811 00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:03,854 Michael Jackson did nothing wrong. 812 00:47:03,854 --> 00:47:09,493 He was right to let all those kids go. 813 00:47:09,493 --> 00:47:10,494 And they were lucky. 814 00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:13,364 I would have paid him to do it. 815 00:47:13,364 --> 00:47:15,733 And I did. That's right. 816 00:47:15,733 --> 00:47:19,303 When I was ten years old, Michael Jackson molested me. 817 00:47:19,303 --> 00:47:21,038 And the only thing it gave me 818 00:47:21,038 --> 00:47:25,409 was a fetish for middle aged white women. 819 00:47:25,409 --> 00:47:31,982 That is not why I have that. 820 00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:36,120 Now, since he's learned, we've just learned a lot about you. 821 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:39,557 Yay! Yay! 822 00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:41,926 Has released a new album called bully. 823 00:47:41,926 --> 00:47:45,496 So please try to separate the art from the artist. 824 00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:47,064 And remember that you 825 00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:50,768 can make awful music and still be right about Hitler. 826 00:47:55,740 --> 00:47:58,776 Now, that joke is offensive to everybody. 827 00:47:58,776 --> 00:48:01,545 And I'd like to apologize. 828 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:05,082 I'd like to sacrifice the most important thing in my life. 829 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:13,224 My beautiful, award winning, world famous hair. 830 00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,759 That's right. 831 00:48:14,759 --> 00:48:18,129 I'm shaving. Ha! 832 00:48:18,129 --> 00:48:24,135 Send in the barber 833 00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:31,542 Jerome. 834 00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:33,244 Make me unpretty. 835 00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:35,212 No, no no no. 836 00:48:35,212 --> 00:48:38,582 You know what's really going to do it? 837 00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:41,852 Man. You are the greatest comedian. 838 00:48:41,852 --> 00:48:43,354 Oh, no. 839 00:48:43,354 --> 00:48:46,991 No, no. Damn it! For the Weekend Update, I'm Michael. 840 00:48:46,991 --> 00:48:48,926 I was so scared to do it. 841 00:48:48,926 --> 00:48:52,997 I was so scared we couldn't do it. 842 00:48:52,997 --> 00:48:56,967 I'm Michael Che. Good night. Oh my God. Oh. 843 00:49:11,982 --> 00:49:13,250 LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH WHAT WE 844 00:49:13,250 --> 00:49:16,320 DID WITH YOUR RAV-4. 845 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,555 FLUSHED THE EVACUATOR. 846 00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:21,458 GAVE YOU A DONGROD GASKET. 847 00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:23,160 GRABBED THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS. 848 00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,462 PUT IT ON WITH THE BOOTS WITH 849 00:49:25,462 --> 00:49:26,564 THE FUR. 850 00:49:26,564 --> 00:49:27,898 THAT'S WHY THE WHOLE CLUB WAS 851 00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:28,532 LOOKING AT IT. 852 00:49:28,532 --> 00:49:29,667 DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? 853 00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:30,868 >> I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 854 00:49:30,868 --> 00:49:32,102 WE BROUGHT IT IN BECAUSE THE 855 00:49:32,102 --> 00:49:32,670 LIGHT CAME ON. 856 00:49:32,803 --> 00:49:34,939 >> RIGHT, THAT MEANS YOUR SPROG 857 00:49:34,939 --> 00:49:38,909 BOX IS SHOT, OKAY? 858 00:49:38,909 --> 00:49:40,478 AND THE SPROG BOX, RIGHT HERE 859 00:49:40,478 --> 00:49:41,478 THAT CREATES CAMBER, OKAY? 860 00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:44,148 AND IT ROTATES LIKE THIS. 861 00:49:44,148 --> 00:49:44,849 BUT YOURS WAS ROTATING LIKE 862 00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:49,854 THIS. 863 00:49:49,854 --> 00:49:52,456 THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU'RE 864 00:49:52,456 --> 00:49:53,357 HEARING THAT LITTLE LEE LEE LEE 865 00:49:53,357 --> 00:49:54,758 LEE LEE LEE LEE! 866 00:49:54,758 --> 00:49:55,526 HEARING ANYTHING LIKE THAT? 867 00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:56,227 >> POSSIBLY. 868 00:49:56,227 --> 00:49:59,630 I USUALLY LISTEN TO MUSIC WHEN 869 00:49:59,630 --> 00:50:00,097 I'M IN THE CAR. 870 00:50:00,264 --> 00:50:01,799 >> MUSIC, NO, YOU CANNOT BE 871 00:50:01,799 --> 00:50:02,633 DOING THAT. 872 00:50:02,633 --> 00:50:04,835 LOOK, DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER. 873 00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:08,906 I'LL BRING IN THE MECHANIC, 874 00:50:08,906 --> 00:50:11,141 SANTIAGO, TO GIVE YOU THE 875 00:50:11,141 --> 00:50:11,508 BREAKDOWN. 876 00:50:11,642 --> 00:50:12,042 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 877 00:50:12,042 --> 00:50:15,512 IN ENGLISH. 878 00:50:15,512 --> 00:50:15,913 >> OKAY. 879 00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:19,183 >> SO I CHECK THE CAMMERRATER 880 00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:20,985 AND THE RAMMERRATER AND BOTH OF 881 00:50:20,985 --> 00:50:22,753 THEM IS PERFECT, OKAY? 882 00:50:22,753 --> 00:50:24,655 BUT WHEN I GOT UNDER THE HOOD, I 883 00:50:24,655 --> 00:50:25,322 GET IN THERE AND I SAY -- 884 00:50:25,322 --> 00:50:34,465 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 885 00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:35,532 >> I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT? 886 00:50:35,532 --> 00:50:35,933 >> SPANISH. 887 00:50:35,933 --> 00:50:40,404 [ LAUGHTER ] 888 00:50:40,404 --> 00:50:42,139 BUT BASED ON WHAT SANTI IS 889 00:50:42,139 --> 00:50:44,241 SAYING HERE, THE SCRUM BELT IS 890 00:50:44,241 --> 00:50:44,808 REAL TREE TRUNKY. 891 00:50:44,808 --> 00:50:48,379 >> YEAH, YEAH. 892 00:50:48,379 --> 00:50:50,781 IS-A MAKING A SOUND. 893 00:50:50,781 --> 00:50:52,016 THE SCRUM BELT MAKING A SOUND 894 00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:53,751 LIKE AAH! 895 00:50:53,751 --> 00:50:54,084 OOH! 896 00:50:54,418 --> 00:50:59,056 >> YOU EVER DRIVE AND HEAR A 897 00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:03,594 SOUND LIKE HAEHHH! 898 00:51:03,594 --> 00:51:03,928 HAEHHH! 899 00:51:03,928 --> 00:51:06,430 >> WAAH! 900 00:51:06,430 --> 00:51:06,730 WAAH! 901 00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:08,198 >> THAT'S A WORN SCRUM BELT. 902 00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:09,867 >> OKAY. 903 00:51:09,867 --> 00:51:12,870 HAS THE CAR BEEN GOING, AAHHH! 904 00:51:12,870 --> 00:51:16,840 AAHHH! 905 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:17,241 [ LAUGHTER ] 906 00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:20,511 >> YEAH, YEAH. 907 00:51:20,511 --> 00:51:22,046 YEAH, AS WELL, EVERY TIME I PUT 908 00:51:22,046 --> 00:51:27,818 IT IN GEAR, I HEAR -- OOH-WAAH! 909 00:51:27,818 --> 00:51:30,821 USUALLY WHEN IT GO WAAH! 910 00:51:30,821 --> 00:51:33,157 THAT MEAN YOU NEED A NEW 911 00:51:33,157 --> 00:51:33,691 TRANSPERSON. 912 00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:34,091 [ LAUGHTER ] 913 00:51:34,391 --> 00:51:36,594 >> YEAH, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A 914 00:51:36,594 --> 00:51:37,661 NEW TRANSPERSON. 915 00:51:37,661 --> 00:51:38,729 I RECOMMEND YOU FIX IT TODAY. 916 00:51:38,729 --> 00:51:41,231 >> YEAH, AND THEN COMING BACK 917 00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:42,433 EVERY SIX DAYS, OKAY? 918 00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,937 I WANT TO BE SEEING YOU. 919 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:52,610 AND I WANT YOU TO COME TO MY 920 00:51:52,610 --> 00:51:52,943 PERSON. 921 00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:55,646 >> HE WANTS YOU TO COME TO HIS 922 00:51:55,646 --> 00:51:57,982 PRIVATE PARTY. 923 00:51:57,982 --> 00:51:58,782 CAR-WISE, YOUR BEST OPTION, NOT 924 00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:00,517 THE CHEAPEST, BUT THE BEST IS TO 925 00:52:00,517 --> 00:52:01,652 REPLACE ALL THE PARTS. 926 00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:04,321 >> SO REBUILD THE ENTIRE CAR? 927 00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:04,722 [ LAUGHTER ] 928 00:52:05,022 --> 00:52:06,824 WE JUST BROUGHT IT IN FOR AN OIL 929 00:52:06,824 --> 00:52:07,157 CHANGE. 930 00:52:07,324 --> 00:52:07,691 >> YOUR OIL IS FINE. 931 00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:09,994 WE KEEP THE OIL. 932 00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,728 WE REBUILD EVERYTHING AROUND IT. 933 00:52:10,728 --> 00:52:12,830 [ LAUGHTER ] 934 00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:14,965 >> HOW MUCH WILL THAT COST US? 935 00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:15,899 >> FOR YOU GUYS? 936 00:52:15,899 --> 00:52:25,175 IT'S GOING TO BE ONLY ABOUT 937 00:52:25,175 --> 00:52:28,178 4,100 700,000. 938 00:52:28,178 --> 00:52:29,513 >> THAT'S WITH LABOR, SO A GOOD 939 00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:29,813 DEAL. 940 00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:30,714 >> IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? 941 00:52:30,848 --> 00:52:32,483 >> IF YOU WANT A SECOND OPINION, 942 00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:32,783 FINE. 943 00:52:33,183 --> 00:52:34,284 OUR CHIEF MECHANIC, HE CAN WALK 944 00:52:34,284 --> 00:52:35,386 YOU THROUGH IT. 945 00:52:35,386 --> 00:52:35,919 NIGEL, GET IN HERE. 946 00:52:35,919 --> 00:52:36,286 >> NIGEL! 947 00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:43,494 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 948 00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:44,762 >> ARE YOU THE PEOPLE WITH THAT 949 00:52:44,762 --> 00:52:45,496 BLASTED RARVE 4? 950 00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:46,230 >> YEP, THAT'S THEM. 951 00:52:46,230 --> 00:52:51,435 >> WELL, LISTEN. 952 00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:52,136 THE GYPSY WHIPSIES AND DANGLY 953 00:52:52,136 --> 00:52:52,870 DOOGLY AND THE SPIGGLY WIGGLY'S 954 00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:55,172 GONE CRUMPET. 955 00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:58,409 THE WHOLE CAR IS KNACKERED. 956 00:52:58,409 --> 00:53:08,886 IT'S MAKING A SOUND LIKE -- 957 00:53:08,886 --> 00:53:09,319 JAAA-HOO-YAA. 958 00:53:09,453 --> 00:53:10,020 >> I TRIED TO TELL THEM. 959 00:53:10,154 --> 00:53:12,790 THE CAR, WHEN WE PUT IT IN GEAR, 960 00:53:12,790 --> 00:53:18,662 MAKING A SOUND LIKE 961 00:53:18,662 --> 00:53:19,096 YAA-HOO-FOOO! 962 00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,698 >> PLUS THE STEERING WHEEL'S ON 963 00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:22,099 THE WRONG BLOODY SIDE. 964 00:53:22,099 --> 00:53:22,499 [ LAUGHTER ] 965 00:53:22,499 --> 00:53:25,702 >> RIGHT. 966 00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:26,837 I UNDERSTAND. 967 00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:27,504 I JUST DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN 968 00:53:27,504 --> 00:53:31,675 AFFORD 969 00:53:31,675 --> 00:53:34,678 4,100 700,000. 970 00:53:34,678 --> 00:53:35,546 >> DO YOU HAVE PAYMENT PLANS? 971 00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:36,480 >> YEAH, BASICALLY THE PLAN IS 972 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,584 THAT YOU PAY ALL THE MONEY NOW. 973 00:53:40,584 --> 00:53:42,486 >> OR YOU CAN PAY IN ASS. 974 00:53:42,486 --> 00:53:46,523 [ LAUGHTER ] 975 00:53:46,523 --> 00:53:52,596 >> WHAT? 976 00:53:52,596 --> 00:53:56,266 [ LAUGHTER ] 977 00:53:56,266 --> 00:53:57,468 >> YOU CAN PAY IN ASS. 978 00:53:57,468 --> 00:54:01,238 [ LAUGHTER ] 979 00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:03,107 >> YOU. 980 00:54:03,107 --> 00:54:04,708 YOU, GUY. 981 00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:06,176 YOU CAN BEND OVER AND PAY IN 982 00:54:06,176 --> 00:54:07,010 ASS. 983 00:54:07,010 --> 00:54:07,744 IT'S UP TO YOU. 984 00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:09,513 >> UM -- OKAY. 985 00:54:09,513 --> 00:54:13,250 UH -- YEAH. 986 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:16,120 I -- I GUESS I'LL PAY IN ASS? 987 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:16,520 [ LAUGHTER ] 988 00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,088 IS THAT GOOD WITH YOU, HON? 989 00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:19,056 >> YEAH. 990 00:54:19,056 --> 00:54:20,891 I MEAN, WHATEVER YOU WANT, BABE. 991 00:54:20,891 --> 00:54:22,159 LIKE, I'LL JUST GO TO COSTCO AND 992 00:54:22,159 --> 00:54:22,559 WALK AROUND. 993 00:54:22,559 --> 00:54:24,061 [ LAUGHTER ] 994 00:54:24,061 --> 00:54:25,429 JUST TEXT ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE. 995 00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:28,432 >> OKAY. 996 00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:29,166 SO -- RIGHT NOW? 997 00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,167 >> YEAH, RIGHT NOW. 998 00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:30,534 >> YEAH. 999 00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:31,768 >> LET'S DO IT. 1000 00:54:41,645 --> 00:54:43,447 >>> ONCE AGAIN, PAUL McCARTNEY. 1001 00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:45,749 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1002 00:54:45,749 --> 00:54:46,917 ♪♪ 1003 00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:52,356 ♪♪ 1004 00:54:52,356 --> 00:55:01,098 ♪♪ 1005 00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:10,607 ♪♪ 1006 00:55:10,607 --> 00:55:17,080 ♪♪ 1007 00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:20,350 ♪♪ 1008 00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:23,320 ♪ STUCK INSIDE 1009 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,824 THESE FOUR WALLS 1010 00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:33,564 SENT INSIDE FOREVER ♪ 1011 00:55:33,564 --> 00:55:38,602 ♪ NEVER SEEING NO ONE 1012 00:55:38,602 --> 00:55:47,578 NICE AGAIN ♪ 1013 00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:55,586 ♪ LIKE YOU MAMA 1014 00:55:55,586 --> 00:55:57,821 YOU MAMA 1015 00:55:57,821 --> 00:56:04,328 YOU ♪ 1016 00:56:04,328 --> 00:56:06,864 ♪♪ 1017 00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:15,372 ♪♪ 1018 00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:23,080 ♪♪ 1019 00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:26,350 ♪♪ 1020 00:56:26,350 --> 00:56:31,088 ♪♪ 1021 00:56:31,088 --> 00:56:33,123 ♪ IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE 1022 00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:34,825 THOUGHT OF GIVING 1023 00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:37,327 IT ALL AWAY 1024 00:56:37,327 --> 00:56:39,830 TO A REGISTERED CHARITY ♪ 1025 00:56:39,830 --> 00:56:41,331 ♪ ALL I NEED IS A PINT A DAY 1026 00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:43,834 IF I EVER GET OUT OF HERE 1027 00:56:43,834 --> 00:56:49,072 IF WE EVER GET OUT OF HERE ♪ 1028 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:50,340 ♪♪ 1029 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:55,579 ♪♪ 1030 00:56:55,579 --> 00:57:05,856 ♪♪ 1031 00:57:05,856 --> 00:57:07,591 ♪ WELL THE RAIN EXPLODED 1032 00:57:07,591 --> 00:57:10,360 WITH A MIGHTY CRASH 1033 00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:14,331 AS WE FELL INTO THE SUN ♪ 1034 00:57:14,331 --> 00:57:16,600 ♪ AND THE FIRST ONE SAID 1035 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:18,835 TO THE SECOND ONE THERE 1036 00:57:18,835 --> 00:57:23,106 I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN ♪ 1037 00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:27,344 ♪ BAND ON THE RUN 1038 00:57:27,344 --> 00:57:31,348 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1039 00:57:31,348 --> 00:57:32,849 ♪ AND THE JAILER MAN 1040 00:57:32,849 --> 00:57:34,351 AND SAILOR SAM 1041 00:57:34,351 --> 00:57:40,357 WERE SEARCHING EVERYONE 1042 00:57:40,357 --> 00:57:43,093 FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1043 00:57:43,093 --> 00:57:47,097 ♪ FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN 1044 00:57:47,097 --> 00:57:51,101 BAND ON THE RUN 1045 00:57:51,101 --> 00:57:54,338 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1046 00:57:54,338 --> 00:57:56,340 ♪ WELL THE UNDERTAKER 1047 00:57:56,340 --> 00:57:57,808 DREW A HEAVY SIGH 1048 00:57:57,808 --> 00:57:59,343 SEEING NO ONE ELSE 1049 00:57:59,343 --> 00:58:02,579 HAD COME ♪ 1050 00:58:02,579 --> 00:58:03,847 ♪ AND A BELL WAS RINGING 1051 00:58:03,847 --> 00:58:07,084 IN THE VILLAGE SQUARE 1052 00:58:07,084 --> 00:58:10,354 FOR THE RABBITS ON THE RUN ♪ 1053 00:58:10,354 --> 00:58:14,358 ♪ BAND ON THE RUN 1054 00:58:14,358 --> 00:58:19,863 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1055 00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:20,831 ♪ AND THE JAILER MAN 1056 00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:22,099 AND SAILOR SAM 1057 00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:26,837 WERE SEARCHING EVERYONE ♪ 1058 00:58:26,837 --> 00:58:30,574 ♪ FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN 1059 00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:36,613 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1060 00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:37,080 ♪♪ 1061 00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:49,826 ♪♪ 1062 00:58:49,826 --> 00:58:50,160 ♪♪ 1063 00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:52,095 ♪ YEAH THE BAND ON THE RUN 1064 00:58:52,095 --> 00:58:58,101 BAND ON THE RUN 1065 00:58:58,101 --> 00:58:58,568 BAND ON THE RUN 1066 00:58:58,635 --> 00:59:06,343 YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH ♪ 1067 00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:07,344 ♪ BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1068 00:59:07,344 --> 00:59:08,612 ♪ WELL THE NIGHT WAS FALLING 1069 00:59:08,612 --> 00:59:09,613 AS THE DESERT WORLD 1070 00:59:09,613 --> 00:59:17,087 BEGAN TO SETTLE DOWN ♪ 1071 00:59:17,087 --> 00:59:20,857 ♪ IN THE TOWN 1072 00:59:20,857 --> 00:59:21,625 THEY'RE SEARCHING 1073 00:59:21,625 --> 00:59:22,592 FOR US EVERYWHERE 1074 00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:23,593 BUT WE NEVER WILL BE FOUND ♪ 1075 00:59:23,593 --> 00:59:24,828 ♪ BAND ON THE RUN 1076 00:59:24,828 --> 00:59:33,570 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1077 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:35,072 ♪ AND THE COUNTY JUDGE 1078 00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:36,339 WHO HELD A GRUDGE 1079 00:59:36,339 --> 00:59:39,576 WILL SEARCH FOREVERMORE 1080 00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:43,080 FOR THE BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1081 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:52,556 ♪ THE BAND ON THE RUN 1082 00:59:52,556 --> 00:59:57,060 BAND ON THE RUN 1083 00:59:57,060 --> 00:59:57,828 YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH 1084 00:59:57,828 --> 00:59:58,562 BAND ON THE RUN ♪ 1085 00:59:58,562 --> 00:59:59,863 ♪♪ 1086 00:59:59,863 --> 01:00:09,372 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1087 01:00:23,987 --> 01:00:26,189 I'm excited for you to meet my family. 1088 01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:29,659 Well, hi. Excited? I'm your boyfriend, Chris. Stop. 1089 01:00:29,659 --> 01:00:29,926 Funny. 1090 01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,328 You guys are so much more attractive 1091 01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:35,565 than guys who actually look good enough money. Wait, what? 1092 01:00:35,565 --> 01:00:37,200 Mom? Dad! We're here. 1093 01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:41,972 Oh, my gosh, my little angel and her new man. 1094 01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:44,708 Oh, Chris, I've heard so much about you. 1095 01:00:44,708 --> 01:00:46,042 I feel like I'm meeting a celebrity. 1096 01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:48,545 Oh, well, the feeling is mutual. Here, let me grab your coat. 1097 01:00:48,545 --> 01:00:49,212 Oh. Thank you. 1098 01:00:49,212 --> 01:00:50,447 Bring that up over here. 1099 01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:55,719 Oh, Oh, 1100 01:00:55,719 --> 01:00:58,989 sorry. Sorry. Do you, Do I know what? 1101 01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,590 Do you know that you're, 1102 01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:04,294 Oh, what my famous duck sauce pizza is ready. 1103 01:01:04,294 --> 01:01:09,232 Let me just, turn the oven off real quick. All right? 1104 01:01:09,232 --> 01:01:10,367 Hey, babe, are you okay? 1105 01:01:10,367 --> 01:01:12,569 You just kind of froze up back there, 1106 01:01:12,569 --> 01:01:14,104 I mean, yeah, did you not see that? 1107 01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:15,138 That was crazy. 1108 01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:15,639 See what? 1109 01:01:16,306 --> 01:01:18,241 That you're acting really nervous in front of my cool dad. 1110 01:01:18,241 --> 01:01:19,743 Hey, just be yourself, okay? 1111 01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:26,149 You know, Chris, you look different in person. 1112 01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:26,983 Oops. 1113 01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:31,254 My dang shoes are untied. 1114 01:01:31,254 --> 01:01:33,156 Yeah. 1115 01:01:33,156 --> 01:01:33,890 Yeah. 1116 01:01:34,291 --> 01:01:36,726 I actually look I look different because I got a haircut. 1117 01:01:36,726 --> 01:01:39,930 Sorry. I mean, haircut. Haircut. 1118 01:01:39,930 --> 01:01:42,065 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 1119 01:01:42,065 --> 01:01:44,868 I can't believe I had to go into work on a weekend. 1120 01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:49,206 Did I lock the car? Hold on. Hi, mom. 1121 01:01:49,206 --> 01:01:54,511 Oh. Hi, dad. Hi. Hi, Janine. Thanks so much for having us. 1122 01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:57,747 I mean, I'm having us. Whoa. What is it? 1123 01:01:57,747 --> 01:01:59,316 Is it chilly in here? 1124 01:01:59,316 --> 01:02:03,820 I gotta close down these windows a bit drafty, all on 1125 01:02:03,820 --> 01:02:04,888 windows. Stuck. 1126 01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:07,991 Honey, can you help me? Yeah, I'll get it, honey. 1127 01:02:07,991 --> 01:02:13,697 Go. Hey, hey, get the damn thing stuck. 1128 01:02:13,697 --> 01:02:15,665 Hey, Chris. You're a you're a strong champion. 1129 01:02:15,665 --> 01:02:18,501 You can squeeze in here and help me. Okay, good. 1130 01:02:18,501 --> 01:02:22,305 You know, I think I should just keep facing away from you guys. 1131 01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:26,810 Don't don't be rude, all right? Buddy? Yeah. Me. Just 1132 01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:29,379 get right in here. 1133 01:02:29,379 --> 01:02:32,983 Come on in three. Oh, my back. 1134 01:02:32,983 --> 01:02:35,285 I need you need me to crack your back. I'll be great. 1135 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:39,489 Okay. Ready? Would you mind? 321000. 1136 01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,957 You know, honey, I think you're too small. 1137 01:02:40,957 --> 01:02:43,860 Chris, would you mind? Oh. Asking me? 1138 01:02:43,860 --> 01:02:47,497 Yeah. Okay. I just get. No, I'll get in there. Yeah, yeah. 1139 01:02:47,497 --> 01:02:50,700 One, two three. Oh, yeah. Oh. 1140 01:02:50,700 --> 01:02:53,136 Thanks, I needed it. Get it cracked from behind. 1141 01:02:53,136 --> 01:02:55,572 Okay, well, don't say it like that. 1142 01:02:55,572 --> 01:02:58,441 Where are my manners? Chris, can I get you a drink? 1143 01:02:58,441 --> 01:02:59,209 Oh, you know what? 1144 01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:03,213 Just a ass of water. Sorry, ass. Ass. Sorry, but, sorry. 1145 01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:05,615 Just a big old bare ass booty water glass. 1146 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,451 I'll take a glass. I'll take a glass. Water. Thank. 1147 01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,754 Okay. Coming right up. Yeah. Okay. 1148 01:03:10,754 --> 01:03:13,323 Get a hold of yourself, please. How? 1149 01:03:15,759 --> 01:03:16,226 Five. 1150 01:03:16,826 --> 01:03:20,063 Five. Five. I have an announcement to make that big. 1151 01:03:20,063 --> 01:03:22,132 Says. Hey. 1152 01:03:22,132 --> 01:03:23,800 Whoa. What's up, my brown? 1153 01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,136 Great. How you doing, man? Hey, question. 1154 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,337 Do you want to try a little bit of this? 1155 01:03:27,337 --> 01:03:30,006 I got Bella Bella sausage on it. 1156 01:03:30,006 --> 01:03:31,441 Come on, try a little bit. Dude. 1157 01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:34,444 Just put extra sausage just for you. 1158 01:03:34,444 --> 01:03:37,514 You know, I'm actually really not that horny. Hungry? I'm not. 1159 01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:41,151 I'm not hungry. Oh, this is such a perfect moment. 1160 01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:42,786 Let me get a picture. 1161 01:03:42,786 --> 01:03:47,857 Oh, hold on, I'm taking a picture. Oh my God. 1162 01:03:47,857 --> 01:03:48,658 Oh, here we go. 1163 01:03:48,658 --> 01:03:53,530 Everybody say cheese. She's. 1164 01:04:04,207 --> 01:04:07,711 >>> THANKS TO EVERYBODY. 1165 01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:15,251 THANK FOTS PAUL McCARTNEY! 1166 01:04:15,251 --> 01:04:17,287 AZIZ ASHARI! 1167 01:04:17,287 --> 01:04:18,455 MOLLY SHANNON! 1168 01:04:18,455 --> 01:04:19,222 THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE! 1169 01:04:19,222 --> 01:04:28,698 THANK YOU SO MUCH! 1170 01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:32,702 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1171 01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:35,605 >> HOLD IT. 1172 01:04:35,605 --> 01:04:50,487 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1173 01:04:50,487 --> 01:04:50,820 ♪♪ 1174 01:04:50,820 --> 01:04:51,154 ♪♪ 1175 01:04:51,154 --> 01:05:02,465 ♪♪ 1176 01:05:02,465 --> 01:05:07,737 ♪♪ 1177 01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:10,039 ♪ YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE 1178 01:05:10,039 --> 01:05:10,607 FOREVER ♪ 1179 01:05:10,673 --> 01:05:11,307 ♪ ONE THAT WILL NEVER FADE 1180 01:05:11,307 --> 01:05:14,110 AWAY ♪ 1181 01:05:14,110 --> 01:05:14,878 ♪ I WANT TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR 1182 01:05:14,878 --> 01:05:26,055 PROBLEM ♪ 1183 01:05:26,055 --> 01:05:28,792 ♪ COMING UP COMING UP OH YEAH ♪ 1184 01:05:28,792 --> 01:05:29,058 ♪ 1185 01:05:29,459 --> 01:05:32,562 ♪ COMING UP LIKE A FLOWER ♪ 1186 01:05:32,562 --> 01:05:46,476 ♪ COMING UP OH YEAH ♪ 1187 01:05:46,476 --> 01:05:48,578 ♪ YOU WANT A FRIEND YOU CAN RELY 1188 01:05:48,578 --> 01:05:48,945 ON ♪ 1189 01:05:49,312 --> 01:05:53,016 ♪ ONE WHO WILL NEVER FADE AWAY ♪ 1190 01:05:53,016 --> 01:05:55,385 ♪ AND IF YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR AN 1191 01:05:55,385 --> 01:05:55,785 ANSWER ♪ 1192 01:05:55,952 --> 01:05:59,789 ♪ STICK AROUND I SAY ♪ 1193 01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:07,797 ♪ IT'S COMING UP IT'S COMING 1194 01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:08,131 UP ♪ 1195 01:06:08,198 --> 01:06:09,732 ♪ OH YEAH ♪ 1196 01:06:09,732 --> 01:06:13,503 ♪ IT'S COMING UP LIKE A FLOWER 1197 01:06:13,503 --> 01:06:19,576 COMING UP OH YEAH ♪ 1198 01:06:19,576 --> 01:06:19,909 ♪♪ 1199 01:06:19,909 --> 01:06:29,619 ♪♪ 1200 01:06:29,619 --> 01:06:29,953 ♪♪ 1201 01:06:29,953 --> 01:06:40,630 ♪♪ 1202 01:06:40,630 --> 01:06:43,500 ♪ YOU WANT SOME PEACE AND 1203 01:06:43,500 --> 01:06:44,000 UNDERSTANDING ♪ 1204 01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:47,303 ♪ SO EVERYBODY CAN BE FREE ♪ 1205 01:06:47,303 --> 01:06:47,971 ♪ I KNOW THAT WE CAN GET 1206 01:06:47,971 --> 01:06:53,309 TOGETHER ♪ 1207 01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:55,678 ♪ WE CAN TAKE IT ENDLESSLY ♪ 1208 01:06:55,678 --> 01:07:02,418 ♪ COMING UP IT'S COMING UP ♪ 1209 01:07:02,418 --> 01:07:06,089 ♪ OH YEAH IT'S COMING UP ON THE 1210 01:07:06,089 --> 01:07:06,456 HOUR ♪ 1211 01:07:06,723 --> 01:07:08,725 ♪ IT'S COMING UP YEAH YEAH 1212 01:07:08,725 --> 01:07:29,812 YEAH ♪ 1213 01:07:29,812 --> 01:08:33,676 ♪♪