1 00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:20,436 . >>> GOOD EVENING. FOR ABC NEWS, I'M DAVID MUIR. 2 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,538 >>> GOOD EVENING. FOR ABC NEWS, I'M DAVID MUIR. IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT KIND OF 3 00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,505 FOR ABC NEWS, I'M DAVID MUIR. IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT KIND OF HANDSOME IN HERE? 4 00:00:23,507 --> 00:00:26,508 IS IT JUST ME, OR IS IT KIND OF HANDSOME IN HERE? I HAD HOPED TO TAKE AWAY OF THE 5 00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,143 HANDSOME IN HERE? I HAD HOPED TO TAKE AWAY OF THE DEBATE I MODERATED WOULD BE MY 6 00:00:28,145 --> 00:00:30,612 I HAD HOPED TO TAKE AWAY OF THE DEBATE I MODERATED WOULD BE MY STRIKING GOOD LOOKS, BUT 7 00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:31,447 DEBATE I MODERATED WOULD BE MY STRIKING GOOD LOOKS, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS WHETHER OR 8 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:34,149 STRIKING GOOD LOOKS, BUT UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS WHETHER OR NOT I WAS BIASED TOWARDS THE 9 00:00:34,151 --> 00:00:34,516 UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS WHETHER OR NOT I WAS BIASED TOWARDS THE DEMOCRATS. 10 00:00:34,518 --> 00:00:35,417 NOT I WAS BIASED TOWARDS THE DEMOCRATS. WHICH, DUH. 11 00:00:35,419 --> 00:00:37,820 DEMOCRATS. WHICH, DUH. BUT IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS, 12 00:00:37,822 --> 00:00:39,621 WHICH, DUH. BUT IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS, WE'LL BE GOING LIVE TO RALLIES 13 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,156 BUT IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS, WE'LL BE GOING LIVE TO RALLIES FROM BOTH CANDIDATES TONIGHT. 14 00:00:41,158 --> 00:00:41,924 WE'LL BE GOING LIVE TO RALLIES FROM BOTH CANDIDATES TONIGHT. LET'S GO FIRST TO VICE-PRESIDENT 15 00:00:41,926 --> 00:00:58,207 FROM BOTH CANDIDATES TONIGHT. LET'S GO FIRST TO VICE-PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS. 16 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:07,616 >> HELLO, HELLO. WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO FELL OUT OF THAT COCONUT TREE. 17 00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:09,752 WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK WHO FELL OUT OF THAT COCONUT TREE. WELL, YOUR FUN AUNT HAS 18 00:01:09,754 --> 00:01:10,185 OUT OF THAT COCONUT TREE. WELL, YOUR FUN AUNT HAS RETURNED. 19 00:01:10,187 --> 00:01:12,855 WELL, YOUR FUN AUNT HAS RETURNED. THE FUNT HAS BEEN REBOOTED. 20 00:01:12,857 --> 00:01:14,356 RETURNED. THE FUNT HAS BEEN REBOOTED. TOO FUNT, TOO FURIOUS. 21 00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:17,493 THE FUNT HAS BEEN REBOOTED. TOO FUNT, TOO FURIOUS. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE CAMPAIGNING 22 00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:18,994 TOO FUNT, TOO FURIOUS. I AM SO HAPPY TO BE CAMPAIGNING IN WHATEVER SWING STATE I'M IN, 23 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,331 I AM SO HAPPY TO BE CAMPAIGNING IN WHATEVER SWING STATE I'M IN, WHICH I WILL JUST REFER TO AS 24 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:26,401 IN WHATEVER SWING STATE I'M IN, WHICH I WILL JUST REFER TO AS WISCONSIN PENCIL VAGEORGIA. 25 00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:27,369 WHICH I WILL JUST REFER TO AS WISCONSIN PENCIL VAGEORGIA. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PROTECT 26 00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:31,106 WISCONSIN PENCIL VAGEORGIA. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PROTECT YOUR VAGEORGIA. 27 00:01:31,108 --> 00:01:38,947 BECAUSE I AM GOING TO PROTECT YOUR VAGEORGIA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 28 00:01:38,949 --> 00:01:41,283 YOUR VAGEORGIA. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU SEE, MY CAMPAIGN IS LIKE THE 29 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:43,685 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YOU SEE, MY CAMPAIGN IS LIKE THE SABRINA CARPENTER SONG ESPRESSO. 30 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,920 YOU SEE, MY CAMPAIGN IS LIKE THE SABRINA CARPENTER SONG ESPRESSO. THE LYRICS ARE VAGUE, BUT THE 31 00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:48,857 SABRINA CARPENTER SONG ESPRESSO. THE LYRICS ARE VAGUE, BUT THE VIBES SLAP. 32 00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,259 THE LYRICS ARE VAGUE, BUT THE VIBES SLAP. AND SURE, I LIKE TO LAUGH, I DO. 33 00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:54,630 VIBES SLAP. AND SURE, I LIKE TO LAUGH, I DO. [ LAUGHTER ] 34 00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:56,465 AND SURE, I LIKE TO LAUGH, I DO. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, 35 00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:59,234 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IF YOU START TALKING NONSENSE TO 36 00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:00,035 BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IF YOU START TALKING NONSENSE TO ME, I'M GOING HIT YOU WITH ONE 37 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:04,907 IF YOU START TALKING NONSENSE TO ME, I'M GOING HIT YOU WITH ONE OF THESE. 38 00:02:04,909 --> 00:02:07,476 ME, I'M GOING HIT YOU WITH ONE OF THESE. NOW, THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT 39 00:02:07,478 --> 00:02:08,477 OF THESE. NOW, THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT MOVING FORWARD. 40 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:09,211 NOW, THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT MOVING FORWARD. YOU SEE, DONALD TRUMP IS STUCK 41 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,814 MOVING FORWARD. YOU SEE, DONALD TRUMP IS STUCK IN THE PAST. 42 00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:14,516 YOU SEE, DONALD TRUMP IS STUCK IN THE PAST. BUT IT'S LIKE I SAY TO MY 43 00:02:14,518 --> 00:02:15,918 IN THE PAST. BUT IT'S LIKE I SAY TO MY HUSBAND DOUG WHEN HE LEAVES HIS 44 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:20,088 BUT IT'S LIKE I SAY TO MY HUSBAND DOUG WHEN HE LEAVES HIS PHONE AT THE CHILI'S, WE ARE NOT 45 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,958 HUSBAND DOUG WHEN HE LEAVES HIS PHONE AT THE CHILI'S, WE ARE NOT GOING BACK. 46 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:30,532 PHONE AT THE CHILI'S, WE ARE NOT GOING BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 47 00:02:30,534 --> 00:02:30,866 GOING BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOT. 48 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,534 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] NOT. YOU KNOW, I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO 49 00:02:32,536 --> 00:02:35,437 NOT. YOU KNOW, I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A RUNNING MATE WHO AGREES. 50 00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:38,674 YOU KNOW, I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A RUNNING MATE WHO AGREES. COME ON OUT HERE, COACH WALL. 51 00:02:38,676 --> 00:02:44,046 HAVE A RUNNING MATE WHO AGREES. COME ON OUT HERE, COACH WALL. >> HEY, HEY, HEY. 52 00:02:44,048 --> 00:02:53,455 COME ON OUT HERE, COACH WALL. >> HEY, HEY, HEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 53 00:02:53,457 --> 00:02:53,755 >> HEY, HEY, HEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHOO! 54 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,190 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHOO! FOLKS, I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS 55 00:02:55,192 --> 00:02:58,961 WHOO! FOLKS, I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE I GOT A 10% REBATE 56 00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,529 FOLKS, I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS EXCITED SINCE I GOT A 10% REBATE ON A LEAF BLOWER. 57 00:03:00,531 --> 00:03:03,098 EXCITED SINCE I GOT A 10% REBATE ON A LEAF BLOWER. WHAT CAN I SAY? 58 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:08,170 ON A LEAF BLOWER. WHAT CAN I SAY? I GOT THAT BDE, BIG DAD ENERGY. 59 00:03:08,172 --> 00:03:09,605 WHAT CAN I SAY? I GOT THAT BDE, BIG DAD ENERGY. SEE WHAT I DID THERE. 60 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,272 I GOT THAT BDE, BIG DAD ENERGY. SEE WHAT I DID THERE. YOU GET IT? 61 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,106 SEE WHAT I DID THERE. YOU GET IT? >> I GOT IT. 62 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,176 YOU GET IT? >> I GOT IT. I DIDN'T WANT IT, BUT I GOT IT. 63 00:03:14,178 --> 00:03:15,444 >> I GOT IT. I DIDN'T WANT IT, BUT I GOT IT. >> YOU KNOW, TRUMP AND VANCE ARE 64 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:15,844 I DIDN'T WANT IT, BUT I GOT IT. >> YOU KNOW, TRUMP AND VANCE ARE WEIRD. 65 00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:16,845 >> YOU KNOW, TRUMP AND VANCE ARE WEIRD. THEY WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO 66 00:03:16,847 --> 00:03:19,114 WEIRD. THEY WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR 67 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,550 THEY WANT THE GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR BEDROOM AND WHAT BOOKS YOU READ. 68 00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:23,118 CONTROL WHAT YOU DO IN YOUR BEDROOM AND WHAT BOOKS YOU READ. YOU KNOW, IN MINNESOTA, WE HAVE 69 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,752 BEDROOM AND WHAT BOOKS YOU READ. YOU KNOW, IN MINNESOTA, WE HAVE A SAYING, MIND YOUR DAMN 70 00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:27,856 YOU KNOW, IN MINNESOTA, WE HAVE A SAYING, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. 71 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:30,792 A SAYING, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS. WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER SAYING IN 72 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,526 BUSINESS. WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER SAYING IN MINNESOTA, MY NUTS FROZE TO THE 73 00:03:31,528 --> 00:03:37,065 WE ALSO HAVE ANOTHER SAYING IN MINNESOTA, MY NUTS FROZE TO THE PARK BENCH. 74 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:39,501 MINNESOTA, MY NUTS FROZE TO THE PARK BENCH. I GOT TO BE HONEST HERE, FOLKS. 75 00:03:39,503 --> 00:03:41,770 PARK BENCH. I GOT TO BE HONEST HERE, FOLKS. WHEN KAMALA HARRIS CALLED ME AND 76 00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,338 I GOT TO BE HONEST HERE, FOLKS. WHEN KAMALA HARRIS CALLED ME AND ASKED ME TO BE HER 77 00:03:43,340 --> 00:03:44,106 WHEN KAMALA HARRIS CALLED ME AND ASKED ME TO BE HER VICE-PRESIDENT, I SAID, UH, 78 00:03:44,108 --> 00:03:48,477 ASKED ME TO BE HER VICE-PRESIDENT, I SAID, UH, YEAH. 79 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,344 VICE-PRESIDENT, I SAID, UH, YEAH. IT'S PERSONAL FOR ME. 80 00:03:49,346 --> 00:03:50,579 YEAH. IT'S PERSONAL FOR ME. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. 81 00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:52,014 IT'S PERSONAL FOR ME. I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. AND AS A FORMER TEACHER, I NEED 82 00:03:52,016 --> 00:03:55,083 I LOVE THIS COUNTRY. AND AS A FORMER TEACHER, I NEED THE MONEY. 83 00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:58,587 AND AS A FORMER TEACHER, I NEED THE MONEY. THIS SUIT IS FROM COSTCO. 84 00:03:58,589 --> 00:04:02,224 THE MONEY. THIS SUIT IS FROM COSTCO. IT'S A KIRKLAND BRAND. 85 00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:03,525 THIS SUIT IS FROM COSTCO. IT'S A KIRKLAND BRAND. THEY MAKE GREAT DOG FOOD. 86 00:04:03,527 --> 00:04:04,326 IT'S A KIRKLAND BRAND. THEY MAKE GREAT DOG FOOD. >> THANK YOU, TIM. 87 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:07,195 THEY MAKE GREAT DOG FOOD. >> THANK YOU, TIM. OH, WOW. 88 00:04:07,197 --> 00:04:08,630 >> THANK YOU, TIM. OH, WOW. YOU ARE -- WOW. 89 00:04:08,632 --> 00:04:13,835 OH, WOW. YOU ARE -- WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 90 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,504 YOU ARE -- WOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT A LOUD TREASURE. 91 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:15,804 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT A LOUD TREASURE. OKAY. 92 00:04:15,806 --> 00:04:16,305 WHAT A LOUD TREASURE. OKAY. WE LOVE HIM. 93 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:18,473 OKAY. WE LOVE HIM. BUT YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, TIM IS 94 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,541 WE LOVE HIM. BUT YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, TIM IS NOT THE ONLY WHITE DUDE FOR 95 00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:23,979 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, TIM IS NOT THE ONLY WHITE DUDE FOR HARRIS HERE TODAY. 96 00:04:23,981 --> 00:04:26,014 NOT THE ONLY WHITE DUDE FOR HARRIS HERE TODAY. THERE'S A VERY SPECIAL ONE 97 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,249 HARRIS HERE TODAY. THERE'S A VERY SPECIAL ONE WHO'S GIVEN ME SO MUCH, 98 00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:28,317 THERE'S A VERY SPECIAL ONE WHO'S GIVEN ME SO MUCH, INCLUDING A SWEET SON AND A VERY 99 00:04:28,319 --> 00:04:30,786 WHO'S GIVEN ME SO MUCH, INCLUDING A SWEET SON AND A VERY BROOKLYN DAUGHTER. 100 00:04:30,788 --> 00:04:33,622 INCLUDING A SWEET SON AND A VERY BROOKLYN DAUGHTER. IT'S MY HUSBAND, DOUG! 101 00:04:33,624 --> 00:04:35,991 BROOKLYN DAUGHTER. IT'S MY HUSBAND, DOUG! ¶ TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE. 102 00:04:35,993 --> 00:04:52,774 IT'S MY HUSBAND, DOUG! ¶ TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE. TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE ¶ 103 00:04:56,012 --> 00:05:10,025 >> TIS I, DOUG. THE SECOND GENTLEMENCH, ALSO KNOWN AS CHARLIE BROWN IF HE WAS 104 00:05:10,027 --> 00:05:11,126 THE SECOND GENTLEMENCH, ALSO KNOWN AS CHARLIE BROWN IF HE WAS A GROWNUP. 105 00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:13,495 KNOWN AS CHARLIE BROWN IF HE WAS A GROWNUP. HOW AMAZING IS KAMALA? 106 00:05:13,497 --> 00:05:14,463 A GROWNUP. HOW AMAZING IS KAMALA? I MEAN, LOOK AT HER. 107 00:05:14,465 --> 00:05:17,366 HOW AMAZING IS KAMALA? I MEAN, LOOK AT HER. I FEEL LIKE I'M IN ONE OF THOSE 108 00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:25,073 I MEAN, LOOK AT HER. I FEEL LIKE I'M IN ONE OF THOSE MOVIES WHERE SETH ROGAN DATES 109 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,443 I FEEL LIKE I'M IN ONE OF THOSE MOVIES WHERE SETH ROGAN DATES CHARLESE THERON. 110 00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:31,580 MOVIES WHERE SETH ROGAN DATES CHARLESE THERON. I'M UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT BEING A 111 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,315 CHARLESE THERON. I'M UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT BEING A MAN SUPPORTING HIS WIFE, OH, 112 00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:37,052 I'M UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT BEING A MAN SUPPORTING HIS WIFE, OH, HE'S A BETA, A WIFE GUY, A TRAD 113 00:05:37,054 --> 00:05:37,319 MAN SUPPORTING HIS WIFE, OH, HE'S A BETA, A WIFE GUY, A TRAD HUS. 114 00:05:37,321 --> 00:05:38,353 HE'S A BETA, A WIFE GUY, A TRAD HUS. A LITTLE SPOON. 115 00:05:38,355 --> 00:05:42,157 HUS. A LITTLE SPOON. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, IF HELPING 116 00:05:42,159 --> 00:05:43,258 A LITTLE SPOON. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, IF HELPING KAMALA WHO WE CALL MAMALA IN MY 117 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,326 WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, IF HELPING KAMALA WHO WE CALL MAMALA IN MY FAMILY, I'M NOT SURE IF I 118 00:05:44,328 --> 00:05:45,694 KAMALA WHO WE CALL MAMALA IN MY FAMILY, I'M NOT SURE IF I MENTIONED THAT, BECOME 119 00:05:45,696 --> 00:05:48,563 FAMILY, I'M NOT SURE IF I MENTIONED THAT, BECOME PRESIDENT, BEING A LITTLE SPOON, 120 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,400 MENTIONED THAT, BECOME PRESIDENT, BEING A LITTLE SPOON, THEN YOU CAN COOK MY LITTLE 121 00:05:51,402 --> 00:05:51,700 PRESIDENT, BEING A LITTLE SPOON, THEN YOU CAN COOK MY LITTLE BUTT. 122 00:05:51,702 --> 00:05:53,802 THEN YOU CAN COOK MY LITTLE BUTT. BECAUSE I AM PROUD TO JOIN THE 123 00:05:53,804 --> 00:05:55,670 BUTT. BECAUSE I AM PROUD TO JOIN THE ESTEEMED LIST OF PRESIDENTIAL 124 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:58,140 BECAUSE I AM PROUD TO JOIN THE ESTEEMED LIST OF PRESIDENTIAL SPOUSES THROUGHOUT HISTORY. 125 00:05:58,142 --> 00:06:02,477 ESTEEMED LIST OF PRESIDENTIAL SPOUSES THROUGHOUT HISTORY. WOMEN AND MEN, BUT ALL WOMEN. 126 00:06:02,479 --> 00:06:03,712 SPOUSES THROUGHOUT HISTORY. WOMEN AND MEN, BUT ALL WOMEN. THAT HAVE STOOD BY THE 127 00:06:03,714 --> 00:06:04,346 WOMEN AND MEN, BUT ALL WOMEN. THAT HAVE STOOD BY THE PRESIDENT'S SIDE. 128 00:06:04,348 --> 00:06:06,181 THAT HAVE STOOD BY THE PRESIDENT'S SIDE. AND I FOR ONE CAN'T WAIT TO 129 00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:08,650 PRESIDENT'S SIDE. AND I FOR ONE CAN'T WAIT TO DECORATE THE WHITE HOUSE FOR 130 00:06:08,652 --> 00:06:09,017 AND I FOR ONE CAN'T WAIT TO DECORATE THE WHITE HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS. 131 00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:18,226 DECORATE THE WHITE HOUSE FOR CHRISTMAS. THE THEME WILL BE HANUKKAH. 132 00:06:18,228 --> 00:06:18,627 CHRISTMAS. THE THEME WILL BE HANUKKAH. [ LAUGHTER ] 133 00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:19,227 THE THEME WILL BE HANUKKAH. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 134 00:06:19,229 --> 00:06:19,494 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES. 135 00:06:19,496 --> 00:06:19,961 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YES. SHE CLEARED IT. 136 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:20,262 YES. SHE CLEARED IT. YEAH. 137 00:06:20,264 --> 00:06:21,630 SHE CLEARED IT. YEAH. AND LOOK, IF ANYONE ON THE RIGHT 138 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:24,166 YEAH. AND LOOK, IF ANYONE ON THE RIGHT TRIES TO COME FOR MY RIGHT, JUST 139 00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:26,468 AND LOOK, IF ANYONE ON THE RIGHT TRIES TO COME FOR MY RIGHT, JUST REMEMBER, I'M FROM LA BUSTER. 140 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:26,768 TRIES TO COME FOR MY RIGHT, JUST REMEMBER, I'M FROM LA BUSTER. OKAY? 141 00:06:26,770 --> 00:06:28,804 REMEMBER, I'M FROM LA BUSTER. OKAY? YOU BETTER RAISE UP BEFORE I 142 00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:32,040 OKAY? YOU BETTER RAISE UP BEFORE I SMACK THE TASTE OUT YOU, NEPHEW. 143 00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:34,076 YOU BETTER RAISE UP BEFORE I SMACK THE TASTE OUT YOU, NEPHEW. THIS IS WEST SIDE CONNECT. 144 00:06:34,078 --> 00:06:35,677 SMACK THE TASTE OUT YOU, NEPHEW. THIS IS WEST SIDE CONNECT. ME AND K IS LA TO THE BAIT, 145 00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:35,977 THIS IS WEST SIDE CONNECT. ME AND K IS LA TO THE BAIT, TRICK. 146 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,046 ME AND K IS LA TO THE BAIT, TRICK. DON'T START NO STUFF, WON'T BE 147 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,281 TRICK. DON'T START NO STUFF, WON'T BE NO STUFF, DONALD. 148 00:06:39,283 --> 00:06:41,416 DON'T START NO STUFF, WON'T BE NO STUFF, DONALD. >> DOUGIE, WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO 149 00:06:41,418 --> 00:06:42,417 NO STUFF, DONALD. >> DOUGIE, WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT TONIGHT. 150 00:06:42,419 --> 00:06:44,986 >> DOUGIE, WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO THAT TONIGHT. WE NEED THOSE MIDDLE STATES, ALL 151 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:45,287 THAT TONIGHT. WE NEED THOSE MIDDLE STATES, ALL RIGHT? 152 00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:46,488 WE NEED THOSE MIDDLE STATES, ALL RIGHT? COOL DOWN, HOT SHOT. 153 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,022 RIGHT? COOL DOWN, HOT SHOT. >> SORRY MY SWEETS. 154 00:06:47,024 --> 00:06:51,993 COOL DOWN, HOT SHOT. >> SORRY MY SWEETS. WHOO! 155 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:55,130 >> SORRY MY SWEETS. WHOO! >> OH, DOUG, EVERYONE! 156 00:06:55,132 --> 00:06:56,965 WHOO! >> OH, DOUG, EVERYONE! OH, MY GOODNESS. 157 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,834 >> OH, DOUG, EVERYONE! OH, MY GOODNESS. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THAT MAN? 158 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,804 OH, MY GOODNESS. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THAT MAN? WE SHARE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IN A 159 00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:04,673 HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THAT MAN? WE SHARE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IN A BEAUTIFUL HOME, AND IF YOU TRY 160 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,407 WE SHARE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IN A BEAUTIFUL HOME, AND IF YOU TRY TO ENTER MY HOME, I WILL SHOOT 161 00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:08,977 BEAUTIFUL HOME, AND IF YOU TRY TO ENTER MY HOME, I WILL SHOOT YOU. 162 00:07:08,979 --> 00:07:10,545 TO ENTER MY HOME, I WILL SHOOT YOU. VIEWERS FROM NEW YORK AND 163 00:07:10,547 --> 00:07:11,379 YOU. VIEWERS FROM NEW YORK AND CALIFORNIA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR 164 00:07:11,381 --> 00:07:11,680 VIEWERS FROM NEW YORK AND CALIFORNIA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EARS. 165 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:15,517 CALIFORNIA, PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EARS. I HAVE A GUN. 166 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,887 EARS. I HAVE A GUN. A COOL ONE. 167 00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:19,287 I HAVE A GUN. A COOL ONE. ALL RIGHT. 168 00:07:19,289 --> 00:07:19,955 A COOL ONE. ALL RIGHT. COME ON BACK, NEW YORK AND 169 00:07:19,957 --> 00:07:22,424 ALL RIGHT. COME ON BACK, NEW YORK AND CALIFORNIA. 170 00:07:22,426 --> 00:07:25,193 COME ON BACK, NEW YORK AND CALIFORNIA. NOW, LET'S GET CRAZY SEXY COOL 171 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,896 CALIFORNIA. NOW, LET'S GET CRAZY SEXY COOL AND PLAY SOME TLC! 172 00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:30,866 NOW, LET'S GET CRAZY SEXY COOL AND PLAY SOME TLC! ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST 173 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:31,233 AND PLAY SOME TLC! ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST CREEP ¶ 174 00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:33,135 ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST CREEP ¶ >> WELL, CERTAINLY SEEMS LIKE A 175 00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:35,604 CREEP ¶ >> WELL, CERTAINLY SEEMS LIKE A PARTY OVER AT THE HARRIS RALLY. 176 00:07:35,606 --> 00:07:37,639 >> WELL, CERTAINLY SEEMS LIKE A PARTY OVER AT THE HARRIS RALLY. LET'S SEE HOW IT'S GOING NOW 177 00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:39,641 PARTY OVER AT THE HARRIS RALLY. LET'S SEE HOW IT'S GOING NOW WITH DONALD TRUMP AT HIS RALLY, 178 00:07:39,643 --> 00:07:40,308 LET'S SEE HOW IT'S GOING NOW WITH DONALD TRUMP AT HIS RALLY, WHICH IS ENTERING ITS THIRD 179 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:48,049 WITH DONALD TRUMP AT HIS RALLY, WHICH IS ENTERING ITS THIRD HOUR. 180 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,651 WHICH IS ENTERING ITS THIRD HOUR. >> WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE 181 00:07:49,653 --> 00:07:49,951 HOUR. >> WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE GOING? 182 00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:50,886 >> WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE GOING? WHERE YOU GOING? 183 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,020 GOING? WHERE YOU GOING? I SEE YOU TRYING TO LEAVE, BUT 184 00:07:52,022 --> 00:07:54,689 WHERE YOU GOING? I SEE YOU TRYING TO LEAVE, BUT THE DOORS ARE LOCKED. 185 00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,123 I SEE YOU TRYING TO LEAVE, BUT THE DOORS ARE LOCKED. COME ON BACK. 186 00:07:55,125 --> 00:08:00,529 THE DOORS ARE LOCKED. COME ON BACK. WE'RE HAVING FUN. 187 00:08:00,531 --> 00:08:02,264 COME ON BACK. WE'RE HAVING FUN. WE LOVE MY RALLIES, EXCEPT WHEN 188 00:08:02,266 --> 00:08:03,265 WE'RE HAVING FUN. WE LOVE MY RALLIES, EXCEPT WHEN SOMEONE DOES THE BING, BONG, 189 00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,233 WE LOVE MY RALLIES, EXCEPT WHEN SOMEONE DOES THE BING, BONG, BING, BING RIGHT AT ME. 190 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,034 SOMEONE DOES THE BING, BONG, BING, BING RIGHT AT ME. YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE 191 00:08:06,036 --> 00:08:08,270 BING, BING RIGHT AT ME. YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THE RHETORIC OF THE RADICAL 192 00:08:08,272 --> 00:08:08,670 YOU KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THE RHETORIC OF THE RADICAL LEFT. 193 00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:10,705 OF THE RHETORIC OF THE RADICAL LEFT. THEY SAY THAT ME BLAMING THE 194 00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:13,775 LEFT. THEY SAY THAT ME BLAMING THE DEMOCRATS FOR INCITING VIOLENCE 195 00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:14,743 THEY SAY THAT ME BLAMING THE DEMOCRATS FOR INCITING VIOLENCE IS THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE 196 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,311 DEMOCRATS FOR INCITING VIOLENCE IS THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK, BUT FRANKLY I DIDN'T KNOW 197 00:08:16,313 --> 00:08:18,947 IS THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK, BUT FRANKLY I DIDN'T KNOW THE KETTLE WAS BLACK UNTIL VERY 198 00:08:18,949 --> 00:08:19,314 BLACK, BUT FRANKLY I DIDN'T KNOW THE KETTLE WAS BLACK UNTIL VERY RECENTLY. 199 00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:22,184 THE KETTLE WAS BLACK UNTIL VERY RECENTLY. I THOUGHT THE KETTLE WAS INDIAN. 200 00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,486 RECENTLY. I THOUGHT THE KETTLE WAS INDIAN. THEN IT DECIDED TO TURN BLACK. 201 00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:26,388 I THOUGHT THE KETTLE WAS INDIAN. THEN IT DECIDED TO TURN BLACK. I MISS JOE BIDEN! 202 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,857 THEN IT DECIDED TO TURN BLACK. I MISS JOE BIDEN! OH, JOE. 203 00:08:28,859 --> 00:08:30,058 I MISS JOE BIDEN! OH, JOE. WE MISS JOE BIDEN, FOLKS. 204 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,259 OH, JOE. WE MISS JOE BIDEN, FOLKS. WHAT WE WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE 205 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,095 WE MISS JOE BIDEN, FOLKS. WHAT WE WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE HIM STAND NEXT TO ME AND BE OLD. 206 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,830 WHAT WE WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE HIM STAND NEXT TO ME AND BE OLD. WE HAD THIS IN THE BAG, BUT THEN 207 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,666 HIM STAND NEXT TO ME AND BE OLD. WE HAD THIS IN THE BAG, BUT THEN THEY DID A SWITCHEROO AND THEY 208 00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:43,038 WE HAD THIS IN THE BAG, BUT THEN THEY DID A SWITCHEROO AND THEY SWAPPED OUT BIDEN WITH SKABALA, 209 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,839 THEY DID A SWITCHEROO AND THEY SWAPPED OUT BIDEN WITH SKABALA, AND NOW EVERYTHING IS CHAOS. 210 00:08:44,841 --> 00:08:47,576 SWAPPED OUT BIDEN WITH SKABALA, AND NOW EVERYTHING IS CHAOS. THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. 211 00:08:47,578 --> 00:08:49,277 AND NOW EVERYTHING IS CHAOS. THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. 212 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,879 THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. THEY'RE TAKING YOUR PETS AND 213 00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:52,414 THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. THEY'RE TAKING YOUR PETS AND DOING FREAK-OFFS. 214 00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:53,582 THEY'RE TAKING YOUR PETS AND DOING FREAK-OFFS. THEY'RE DOING FREAK-OFFS WITH 215 00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:55,850 DOING FREAK-OFFS. THEY'RE DOING FREAK-OFFS WITH THE DOGS AND MAKING THE GEESE 216 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:56,151 THEY'RE DOING FREAK-OFFS WITH THE DOGS AND MAKING THE GEESE WATCH. 217 00:08:56,153 --> 00:08:57,252 THE DOGS AND MAKING THE GEESE WATCH. IT'S VERY SAD. 218 00:08:57,254 --> 00:08:57,619 WATCH. IT'S VERY SAD. VERY SAD. 219 00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,522 IT'S VERY SAD. VERY SAD. THEY'RE DOING A DIDDY. 220 00:09:00,524 --> 00:09:02,824 VERY SAD. THEY'RE DOING A DIDDY. I THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M TOLD BY 221 00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:05,527 THEY'RE DOING A DIDDY. I THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M TOLD BY MY RUNNING MATE J.D. VANCE. 222 00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:08,730 I THINK THAT'S WHAT I'M TOLD BY MY RUNNING MATE J.D. VANCE. PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE WAS A BAD 223 00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:10,999 MY RUNNING MATE J.D. VANCE. PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE WAS A BAD PICK, AND IN MANY WAYS, HE WAS. 224 00:09:11,001 --> 00:09:11,700 PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE WAS A BAD PICK, AND IN MANY WAYS, HE WAS. J.D., COME ON UP. 225 00:09:11,702 --> 00:09:12,400 PICK, AND IN MANY WAYS, HE WAS. J.D., COME ON UP. >> THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP. 226 00:09:12,402 --> 00:09:15,537 J.D., COME ON UP. >> THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP. THANK YOU. 227 00:09:15,539 --> 00:09:20,475 >> THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP. THANK YOU. OKAY. 228 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,377 THANK YOU. OKAY. HE'S TAKING THE GLASS WITH HIM. 229 00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:23,411 OKAY. HE'S TAKING THE GLASS WITH HIM. THAT'S FINE. 230 00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:24,212 HE'S TAKING THE GLASS WITH HIM. THAT'S FINE. HELLO, HELLO. 231 00:09:24,214 --> 00:09:28,550 THAT'S FINE. HELLO, HELLO. IT IS I, J.D. VANCE. 232 00:09:28,552 --> 00:09:31,119 HELLO, HELLO. IT IS I, J.D. VANCE. JUST THIS AFTERNOON, HE TOLD ME, 233 00:09:31,121 --> 00:09:34,089 IT IS I, J.D. VANCE. JUST THIS AFTERNOON, HE TOLD ME, J.D., YOU'RE LIKE A SON TO ME 234 00:09:34,091 --> 00:09:35,090 JUST THIS AFTERNOON, HE TOLD ME, J.D., YOU'RE LIKE A SON TO ME BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU AND I'M 235 00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:35,957 J.D., YOU'RE LIKE A SON TO ME BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU AND I'M STUCK WITH YOU. 236 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:38,293 BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU AND I'M STUCK WITH YOU. PEOPLE ARE SAYING I'M A CREEP, 237 00:09:38,295 --> 00:09:40,528 STUCK WITH YOU. PEOPLE ARE SAYING I'M A CREEP, I'M A WEIRDO, WHAT THE HELL AM I 238 00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:41,229 PEOPLE ARE SAYING I'M A CREEP, I'M A WEIRDO, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? 239 00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:42,264 I'M A WEIRDO, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING 240 00:09:42,266 --> 00:09:46,735 DOING HERE? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING HERE, GETTING THIS CROWD HOT. 241 00:09:46,737 --> 00:09:49,337 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOING HERE, GETTING THIS CROWD HOT. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. 242 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,172 HERE, GETTING THIS CROWD HOT. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. >> SWING AND A MISS. 243 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,008 YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. >> SWING AND A MISS. >> I WANT TO TALK PLATFORM. 244 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:58,046 >> SWING AND A MISS. >> I WANT TO TALK PLATFORM. IT'S CALLED PROJECT 2025, AND -- 245 00:09:58,048 --> 00:09:58,613 >> I WANT TO TALK PLATFORM. IT'S CALLED PROJECT 2025, AND -- >> OH, WE APOLOGIZE. 246 00:09:58,615 --> 00:10:00,248 IT'S CALLED PROJECT 2025, AND -- >> OH, WE APOLOGIZE. THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS ASKING US 247 00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,884 >> OH, WE APOLOGIZE. THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS ASKING US TO CUT AWAY FROM HIS RALLY AND 248 00:10:02,886 --> 00:10:03,952 THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN IS ASKING US TO CUT AWAY FROM HIS RALLY AND TO RETURN INSTEAD TO 249 00:10:03,954 --> 00:10:05,387 TO CUT AWAY FROM HIS RALLY AND TO RETURN INSTEAD TO VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS WHERE THE 250 00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:08,556 TO RETURN INSTEAD TO VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS WHERE THE DANCING APPEARS TO BE WRAPPING 251 00:10:08,558 --> 00:10:08,823 VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS WHERE THE DANCING APPEARS TO BE WRAPPING UP 252 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:09,658 DANCING APPEARS TO BE WRAPPING UP ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST 253 00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:15,697 UP ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST CREEP ¶ 254 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,564 ¶ SO I CREEP, YEAH, I JUST CREEP ¶ >> ALL RIGHT. 255 00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:17,732 CREEP ¶ >> ALL RIGHT. OH, MAN. 256 00:10:17,734 --> 00:10:18,667 >> ALL RIGHT. OH, MAN. THAT FELT GOOD. 257 00:10:18,669 --> 00:10:19,367 OH, MAN. THAT FELT GOOD. AND DONALD DOESN'T THINK I'M 258 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:23,872 THAT FELT GOOD. AND DONALD DOESN'T THINK I'M BLACK. 259 00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:24,172 AND DONALD DOESN'T THINK I'M BLACK. OKAY. 260 00:10:24,174 --> 00:10:24,873 BLACK. OKAY. LISTEN UP, EVERYONE. 261 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,574 OKAY. LISTEN UP, EVERYONE. WE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HERE 262 00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:34,416 LISTEN UP, EVERYONE. WE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HERE WITHOUT ONE MAN, AND HIS NAME IS 263 00:10:34,418 --> 00:10:34,749 WE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN HERE WITHOUT ONE MAN, AND HIS NAME IS JABIDEN. 264 00:10:34,751 --> 00:10:37,385 WITHOUT ONE MAN, AND HIS NAME IS JABIDEN. GET ON OUT HERE, GENTLEMANBIDEN. 265 00:10:44,193 --> 00:10:57,038 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> FOLKS, THAT'S RIGHT. LOT OF PEOPLE FORGET I'M 266 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,107 >> FOLKS, THAT'S RIGHT. LOT OF PEOPLE FORGET I'M PRESIDENT, INCLUDING ME. 267 00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:07,148 LOT OF PEOPLE FORGET I'M PRESIDENT, INCLUDING ME. GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. 268 00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,218 PRESIDENT, INCLUDING ME. GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. I THINK I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB. 269 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,320 GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. I THINK I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB. I PASSED MORE BILLS THAN ANY 270 00:11:12,322 --> 00:11:13,755 I THINK I DID A PRETTY GOOD JOB. I PASSED MORE BILLS THAN ANY PRESIDENT IN HISTORY. 271 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,091 I PASSED MORE BILLS THAN ANY PRESIDENT IN HISTORY. FOLKS, WE STILL GOT WORK TO DO, 272 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:16,825 PRESIDENT IN HISTORY. FOLKS, WE STILL GOT WORK TO DO, NO JOKE. 273 00:11:16,827 --> 00:11:17,492 FOLKS, WE STILL GOT WORK TO DO, NO JOKE. I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. 274 00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:19,361 NO JOKE. I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. COME ON. 275 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:23,698 I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. COME ON. GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. 276 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,868 COME ON. GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THE 277 00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:30,138 GUESS WHAT, AND BY THE WAY. THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THE RICH DON'T PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE. 278 00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,273 THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, THE RICH DON'T PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE. THEY GOT TO PAY THEIR FAIR 279 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:32,574 RICH DON'T PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE. THEY GOT TO PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE. 280 00:11:32,576 --> 00:11:34,909 THEY GOT TO PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE. WE GOT TO BUILD BACK BETTER. 281 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,811 SHARE. WE GOT TO BUILD BACK BETTER. BUILD BACK THE BETTER TO BORROW 282 00:11:36,813 --> 00:11:37,579 WE GOT TO BUILD BACK BETTER. BUILD BACK THE BETTER TO BORROW THE BEST. 283 00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:39,781 BUILD BACK THE BETTER TO BORROW THE BEST. CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER. 284 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:40,448 THE BEST. CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER. >> THANK YOU. 285 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,282 CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER. >> THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 286 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:41,683 >> THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU. 287 00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:46,221 THANK YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU. AND I JUST WANT TO SAY -- I JUST 288 00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:48,323 THANK YOU. AND I JUST WANT TO SAY -- I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU JOE BIDEN. 289 00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:50,091 AND I JUST WANT TO SAY -- I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU JOE BIDEN. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING COUNTRY 290 00:11:50,093 --> 00:11:51,626 WANT TO SAY THANK YOU JOE BIDEN. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING COUNTRY FIRST AND FOR HANDING OVER THE 291 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:51,960 THANK YOU FOR PUTTING COUNTRY FIRST AND FOR HANDING OVER THE REIGNS. 292 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:52,894 FIRST AND FOR HANDING OVER THE REIGNS. >> I DIDN'T WANT TO. 293 00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,397 REIGNS. >> I DIDN'T WANT TO. THEY MADE ME. 294 00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:59,300 >> I DIDN'T WANT TO. THEY MADE ME. AND GUESS WHAT AND BY THE WAY. 295 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:02,036 THEY MADE ME. AND GUESS WHAT AND BY THE WAY. FACT OF THE MATTER IS, NO JOKE, 296 00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:03,805 AND GUESS WHAT AND BY THE WAY. FACT OF THE MATTER IS, NO JOKE, I'M SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW, I'M 297 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,807 FACT OF THE MATTER IS, NO JOKE, I'M SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW, I'M BEING SERIOUS. 298 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,876 I'M SERIOUS, RIGHT NOW, I'M BEING SERIOUS. ANYWAY, CONCLUSION, ME AND 299 00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:09,277 BEING SERIOUS. ANYWAY, CONCLUSION, ME AND VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS ARE THE 300 00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:09,577 ANYWAY, CONCLUSION, ME AND VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS ARE THE SAME. 301 00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:11,446 VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS ARE THE SAME. >> OKAY. 302 00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,280 SAME. >> OKAY. HA-HA, GREAT STUFF. 303 00:12:12,282 --> 00:12:13,148 >> OKAY. HA-HA, GREAT STUFF. THANK YOU, JOE. 304 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:13,615 HA-HA, GREAT STUFF. THANK YOU, JOE. THANK YOU. 305 00:12:13,617 --> 00:12:13,982 THANK YOU, JOE. THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. 306 00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:21,089 THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT. GOOD-BYE, JOE. 307 00:12:21,091 --> 00:12:21,456 ALL RIGHT. GOOD-BYE, JOE. GOOD-BYE. 308 00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:23,691 GOOD-BYE, JOE. GOOD-BYE. NOW -- ISN'T HE GREAT? 309 00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:24,759 GOOD-BYE. NOW -- ISN'T HE GREAT? NOW, LISTEN, ALL RIGHT, WE GOT 310 00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:25,226 NOW -- ISN'T HE GREAT? NOW, LISTEN, ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO STAY FOCUSED. 311 00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:27,262 NOW, LISTEN, ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO STAY FOCUSED. OKAY? 312 00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:29,330 TO STAY FOCUSED. OKAY? AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 313 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:34,068 OKAY? AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF WE WIN, TOGETHER, WE CAN END 314 00:12:34,070 --> 00:12:36,304 AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IF WE WIN, TOGETHER, WE CAN END THE DRAMALA. 315 00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:39,007 IF WE WIN, TOGETHER, WE CAN END THE DRAMALA. AND THE TRAUMALA. 316 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:44,546 THE DRAMALA. AND THE TRAUMALA. AND GO RELAX IN OUR PAJAMALAS. 317 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,714 AND THE TRAUMALA. AND GO RELAX IN OUR PAJAMALAS. BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING I 318 00:12:46,716 --> 00:12:48,416 AND GO RELAX IN OUR PAJAMALAS. BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW -- UH-OH, HE'S BACK. 319 00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:49,250 BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW -- UH-OH, HE'S BACK. HE'S BACK. 320 00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:49,584 KNOW -- UH-OH, HE'S BACK. HE'S BACK. WHOOPSY. 321 00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:50,051 HE'S BACK. WHOOPSY. ALL RIGHT. 322 00:12:50,053 --> 00:12:51,252 WHOOPSY. ALL RIGHT. YOU WANT IN? 323 00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:52,253 ALL RIGHT. YOU WANT IN? COME ON IN. 324 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:52,687 YOU WANT IN? COME ON IN. >> YEAH. 325 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:53,021 COME ON IN. >> YEAH. >> OKAY. 326 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:53,288 >> YEAH. >> OKAY. HEY. 327 00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:56,825 >> OKAY. HEY. HEY THERE. 328 00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:58,293 HEY. HEY THERE. IS THAT NICE? 329 00:12:58,295 --> 00:12:58,760 HEY THERE. IS THAT NICE? >> REALLY GOOD. 330 00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:01,629 IS THAT NICE? >> REALLY GOOD. >> OKAY. 331 00:13:01,631 --> 00:13:02,897 >> REALLY GOOD. >> OKAY. HI THERE. 332 00:13:02,899 --> 00:13:03,198 >> OKAY. HI THERE. OKAY. 333 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,933 HI THERE. OKAY. >> HOW DID I GET BACK HERE? 334 00:13:04,935 --> 00:13:05,433 OKAY. >> HOW DID I GET BACK HERE? >> I DON'T KNOW. 335 00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:07,936 >> HOW DID I GET BACK HERE? >> I DON'T KNOW. >> I WAS GOING TO SAY ONE MORE 336 00:13:07,938 --> 00:13:08,269 >> I DON'T KNOW. >> I WAS GOING TO SAY ONE MORE THING. 337 00:13:08,271 --> 00:13:09,070 >> I WAS GOING TO SAY ONE MORE THING. >> OH, YEAH? 338 00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:09,437 THING. >> OH, YEAH? >> YEAH. 339 00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:10,104 >> OH, YEAH? >> YEAH. >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 340 00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:19,013 >> YEAH. >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! 341 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,449 >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY 342 00:13:21,451 --> 00:13:22,450 SATURDAY NIGHT! >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" WITH -- 343 00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:03,418 FEATURING -- 344 00:15:20,436 --> 00:15:33,414 MUSICAL GUEST, JELLY ROLL. AND YOUR HOST, JEAN SMART. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JEAN 345 00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:37,385 AND YOUR HOST, JEAN SMART. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JEAN SMART! 346 00:15:37,387 --> 00:15:53,835 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JEAN SMART! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 347 00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:11,352 >>> THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO, SO VERY MUCH. 348 00:16:11,354 --> 00:16:13,287 THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO, SO VERY MUCH. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HONORED I 349 00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:14,989 MUCH. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HONORED I AM TO BE HOSTING THE PREMIER 350 00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:16,357 I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW HONORED I AM TO BE HOSTING THE PREMIER EPISODE OF SEASON 50. 351 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:21,963 AM TO BE HOSTING THE PREMIER EPISODE OF SEASON 50. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 352 00:16:21,965 --> 00:16:23,931 EPISODE OF SEASON 50. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT TRULY IS INCREDIBLE TO BE 353 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:24,232 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT TRULY IS INCREDIBLE TO BE HERE. 354 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:25,933 IT TRULY IS INCREDIBLE TO BE HERE. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALL DRESSED UP 355 00:16:25,935 --> 00:16:27,435 HERE. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALL DRESSED UP AND HAD HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE CLAP 356 00:16:27,437 --> 00:16:30,872 I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ALL DRESSED UP AND HAD HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE CLAP FOR ME IN DAYS. 357 00:16:30,874 --> 00:16:31,239 AND HAD HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE CLAP FOR ME IN DAYS. HONESTLY. 358 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,640 FOR ME IN DAYS. HONESTLY. I REMEMBER WATCHING THE VERY 359 00:16:32,642 --> 00:16:36,110 HONESTLY. I REMEMBER WATCHING THE VERY FIRST EPISODE OF SNL AND 360 00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:36,878 I REMEMBER WATCHING THE VERY FIRST EPISODE OF SNL AND THINKING, SOME DAY I'M GOING TO 361 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,581 FIRST EPISODE OF SNL AND THINKING, SOME DAY I'M GOING TO HOST THAT SHOW. 362 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,849 THINKING, SOME DAY I'M GOING TO HOST THAT SHOW. AND THIS IS THE FIRST SATURDAY 363 00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:48,656 HOST THAT SHOW. AND THIS IS THE FIRST SATURDAY THAT WORKED WITH MY SCHEDULE. 364 00:16:48,658 --> 00:16:50,291 AND THIS IS THE FIRST SATURDAY THAT WORKED WITH MY SCHEDULE. IT'S GREAT TO BE IN NEW YORK. 365 00:16:50,293 --> 00:16:52,226 THAT WORKED WITH MY SCHEDULE. IT'S GREAT TO BE IN NEW YORK. EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT FROM HERE, 366 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:53,695 IT'S GREAT TO BE IN NEW YORK. EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT FROM HERE, IT'S WHERE I STARTED MY CAREER 367 00:16:53,697 --> 00:16:54,696 EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT FROM HERE, IT'S WHERE I STARTED MY CAREER IN SHOW BUSINESS. 368 00:16:54,698 --> 00:16:55,930 IT'S WHERE I STARTED MY CAREER IN SHOW BUSINESS. OH, MY PIANO. 369 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:56,998 IN SHOW BUSINESS. OH, MY PIANO. I WAS WONDERING WHERE I PUT 370 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:57,298 OH, MY PIANO. I WAS WONDERING WHERE I PUT THAT. 371 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,434 I WAS WONDERING WHERE I PUT THAT. OH, THANK YOU. 372 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:01,703 THAT. OH, THANK YOU. I MOVED TO NEW YORK IN MY 20s. 373 00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:03,504 OH, THANK YOU. I MOVED TO NEW YORK IN MY 20s. I REMEMBER THE FIRST PLAY I DID. 374 00:17:03,506 --> 00:17:07,575 I MOVED TO NEW YORK IN MY 20s. I REMEMBER THE FIRST PLAY I DID. IT WAS AN OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF 375 00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:10,611 I REMEMBER THE FIRST PLAY I DID. IT WAS AN OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF BROADWAY -- JERSEY, ACTUALLY, I 376 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,179 IT WAS AN OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF BROADWAY -- JERSEY, ACTUALLY, I THINK. 377 00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:12,847 BROADWAY -- JERSEY, ACTUALLY, I THINK. BUT I ALWAYS THINK OF NEW YORK 378 00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:13,748 THINK. BUT I ALWAYS THINK OF NEW YORK AS HOME. 379 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,883 BUT I ALWAYS THINK OF NEW YORK AS HOME. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A MUCH NICER 380 00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:19,954 AS HOME. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A MUCH NICER HOME IN L.A. 381 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:20,321 EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A MUCH NICER HOME IN L.A. 382 00:17:20,323 --> 00:17:22,123 HOME IN L.A. 383 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,325 ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LOVE THIS TOWN, I LIKE 384 00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:26,427 ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LOVE THIS TOWN, I LIKE THE CITY AIR, I LIKE THE DRINK 385 00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:28,096 HAPPEN TO LOVE THIS TOWN, I LIKE THE CITY AIR, I LIKE THE DRINK OF IT, THE MORE I KNOW OF NEW 386 00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:30,264 THE CITY AIR, I LIKE THE DRINK OF IT, THE MORE I KNOW OF NEW YORK, THE MORE I THINK OF IT ¶ 387 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,300 OF IT, THE MORE I KNOW OF NEW YORK, THE MORE I THINK OF IT ¶ ¶ I LIKE THE SOUND, THE SIGHT, 388 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,302 YORK, THE MORE I THINK OF IT ¶ ¶ I LIKE THE SOUND, THE SIGHT, AND EVEN THE STINK OF IT, I 389 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:36,738 ¶ I LIKE THE SOUND, THE SIGHT, AND EVEN THE STINK OF IT, I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ 390 00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:38,106 AND EVEN THE STINK OF IT, I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ ESPECIALLY THIS TIME OF YEAR. 391 00:17:38,108 --> 00:17:40,208 HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ ESPECIALLY THIS TIME OF YEAR. I LOVE AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. 392 00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,909 ESPECIALLY THIS TIME OF YEAR. I LOVE AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. ALL THE GARBAGE ON THE STREET IS 393 00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:46,547 I LOVE AUTUMN IN NEW YORK. ALL THE GARBAGE ON THE STREET IS FINALLY CHANGING COLORS. 394 00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:46,914 ALL THE GARBAGE ON THE STREET IS FINALLY CHANGING COLORS. BEAUTIFUL. 395 00:17:46,916 --> 00:17:47,281 FINALLY CHANGING COLORS. BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL. 396 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,417 BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL. I SAW MAYOR ADAMS IN THE NEWS. 397 00:17:49,419 --> 00:17:51,285 BEAUTIFUL. I SAW MAYOR ADAMS IN THE NEWS. I DIDN'T READ IT. 398 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,054 I SAW MAYOR ADAMS IN THE NEWS. I DIDN'T READ IT. I'M SURE IT'S FOR SOMETHING 399 00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:53,354 I DIDN'T READ IT. I'M SURE IT'S FOR SOMETHING GOOD. 400 00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:55,757 I'M SURE IT'S FOR SOMETHING GOOD. ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I 401 00:17:55,759 --> 00:17:59,460 GOOD. ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LIKE THE SOUND ¶ 402 00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:01,496 ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LIKE THE SOUND ¶ I STARTED MY CAREER IN NEW YORK 403 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,364 HAPPEN TO LIKE THE SOUND ¶ I STARTED MY CAREER IN NEW YORK AROUND THE SAME TIME "SATURDAY 404 00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:04,265 I STARTED MY CAREER IN NEW YORK AROUND THE SAME TIME "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" STARTED. 405 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:06,167 AROUND THE SAME TIME "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" STARTED. I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT WAS 406 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:06,567 NIGHT LIVE" STARTED. I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT WAS LIVE. 407 00:18:06,569 --> 00:18:07,034 I DIDN'T REALLY BELIEVE IT WAS LIVE. SERIOUSLY. 408 00:18:07,036 --> 00:18:10,238 LIVE. SERIOUSLY. I THOUGHT SNL STOOD FOR SATURDAY 409 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,372 SERIOUSLY. I THOUGHT SNL STOOD FOR SATURDAY NIGHT LAUGHS. 410 00:18:11,374 --> 00:18:13,007 I THOUGHT SNL STOOD FOR SATURDAY NIGHT LAUGHS. AND THEN I WATCHED THE SHOW AND 411 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:13,741 NIGHT LAUGHS. AND THEN I WATCHED THE SHOW AND I THOUGHT, WELL, THAT CAN'T BE 412 00:18:13,743 --> 00:18:16,043 AND THEN I WATCHED THE SHOW AND I THOUGHT, WELL, THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. 413 00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:21,215 I THOUGHT, WELL, THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 414 00:18:21,217 --> 00:18:26,888 RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ 415 00:18:26,890 --> 00:18:30,124 [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ LESBIANS ARE OBSESSED WITH ME. 416 00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:33,661 ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ LESBIANS ARE OBSESSED WITH ME. I MEAN, MY FIRST PLAY, IT WAS 417 00:18:33,663 --> 00:18:35,530 LESBIANS ARE OBSESSED WITH ME. I MEAN, MY FIRST PLAY, IT WAS ALL LESBIAN CHARACTERS SO I HAD 418 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:38,566 I MEAN, MY FIRST PLAY, IT WAS ALL LESBIAN CHARACTERS SO I HAD A LOT OF GAY WOMEN FANS, AND 419 00:18:38,568 --> 00:18:40,201 ALL LESBIAN CHARACTERS SO I HAD A LOT OF GAY WOMEN FANS, AND APPARENTLY I DO AS WELL I'M 420 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:40,501 A LOT OF GAY WOMEN FANS, AND APPARENTLY I DO AS WELL I'M TOLD. 421 00:18:40,503 --> 00:18:42,003 APPARENTLY I DO AS WELL I'M TOLD. JUST THE OTHER DAY, SOMEONE 422 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,104 TOLD. JUST THE OTHER DAY, SOMEONE SAID, IT'S TRUE. 423 00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,273 JUST THE OTHER DAY, SOMEONE SAID, IT'S TRUE. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT ONE 424 00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:46,307 SAID, IT'S TRUE. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT ONE WOMAN'S PODCAST, SHE WANTS TO 425 00:18:46,309 --> 00:18:46,808 HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT ONE WOMAN'S PODCAST, SHE WANTS TO DATE YOU. 426 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:47,408 WOMAN'S PODCAST, SHE WANTS TO DATE YOU. AND I THOUGHT, COOL. 427 00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:49,811 DATE YOU. AND I THOUGHT, COOL. AT LEAST I HAVE OPTIONS. 428 00:18:49,813 --> 00:18:51,245 AND I THOUGHT, COOL. AT LEAST I HAVE OPTIONS. BUT I GOT TO SAY, I JUST LOVE 429 00:18:51,247 --> 00:18:53,781 AT LEAST I HAVE OPTIONS. BUT I GOT TO SAY, I JUST LOVE THIS CITY. 430 00:18:53,783 --> 00:18:54,515 BUT I GOT TO SAY, I JUST LOVE THIS CITY. THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE ON EARTH 431 00:18:54,517 --> 00:18:56,951 THIS CITY. THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE ON EARTH LIKE IT. 432 00:18:56,953 --> 00:18:58,853 THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE ON EARTH LIKE IT. IT'S A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE HAVE 433 00:18:58,855 --> 00:19:00,621 LIKE IT. IT'S A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE HAVE COME FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS FROM 434 00:19:00,623 --> 00:19:01,355 IT'S A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE HAVE COME FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS FROM AROUND THE WORLD TO BE WHO THEY 435 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,958 COME FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS FROM AROUND THE WORLD TO BE WHO THEY WANT TO BE. 436 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:09,330 AROUND THE WORLD TO BE WHO THEY WANT TO BE. ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I 437 00:19:09,332 --> 00:19:11,933 WANT TO BE. ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I LIKE ITS DIVERSITY, I OFTEN ASK 438 00:19:11,935 --> 00:19:14,468 ¶ I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I LIKE ITS DIVERSITY, I OFTEN ASK MYSELF WHY SHOULD IT BE, PEOPLE 439 00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:16,938 LIKE ITS DIVERSITY, I OFTEN ASK MYSELF WHY SHOULD IT BE, PEOPLE COME SO FAR FROM ACROSS THE 440 00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:17,271 MYSELF WHY SHOULD IT BE, PEOPLE COME SO FAR FROM ACROSS THE SEA ¶ 441 00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,307 COME SO FAR FROM ACROSS THE SEA ¶ ¶ I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE THEY 442 00:19:19,309 --> 00:19:21,542 SEA ¶ ¶ I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE THEY AGREE WITH ME, THEY HAPPEN TO 443 00:19:21,544 --> 00:19:24,946 ¶ I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE THEY AGREE WITH ME, THEY HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, WE HAPPEN TO LIKE 444 00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:30,318 AGREE WITH ME, THEY HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, WE HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW 445 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:30,751 LIKE NEW YORK, WE HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ 446 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,686 NEW YORK, I HAPPEN TO LIKE NEW YORK ¶ WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU 447 00:19:31,688 --> 00:19:36,057 YORK ¶ WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! 448 00:19:36,059 --> 00:19:37,892 WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! JELLY ROLL IS HERE! 449 00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:38,626 TONIGHT! JELLY ROLL IS HERE! SO STICK AROUND. 450 00:19:38,628 --> 00:19:40,094 JELLY ROLL IS HERE! SO STICK AROUND. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! 451 00:20:02,818 --> 00:20:06,888 >>> YOU MUST BE IN THE LOBBY AT THE DENTIST, BECAUSE YOU'RE WATCHING THE GAME SHOW NETWORK. 452 00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:08,856 THE DENTIST, BECAUSE YOU'RE WATCHING THE GAME SHOW NETWORK. >> HEY! 453 00:20:08,858 --> 00:20:12,293 WATCHING THE GAME SHOW NETWORK. >> HEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 454 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:15,529 >> HEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO 455 00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,765 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO $100,000 PYRAMID CELEBRITY 456 00:20:17,767 --> 00:20:18,232 WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME TO $100,000 PYRAMID CELEBRITY EDITION. 457 00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:21,002 $100,000 PYRAMID CELEBRITY EDITION. I'M YOUR HOST MICHAEL STRAY 458 00:20:21,004 --> 00:20:21,335 EDITION. I'M YOUR HOST MICHAEL STRAY HAPPEN. 459 00:20:21,337 --> 00:20:23,571 I'M YOUR HOST MICHAEL STRAY HAPPEN. BECAUSE STEVE HARVEY WAS BUSY. 460 00:20:23,573 --> 00:20:25,740 HAPPEN. BECAUSE STEVE HARVEY WAS BUSY. TIME TO MEET TODAY'S CONTESTANTS 461 00:20:25,742 --> 00:20:27,708 BECAUSE STEVE HARVEY WAS BUSY. TIME TO MEET TODAY'S CONTESTANTS THE WE GOT TO VIRAL SENSATION OF 462 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:31,746 TIME TO MEET TODAY'S CONTESTANTS THE WE GOT TO VIRAL SENSATION OF THE SUMMER THAT'S SOMEHOW FAMOUS 463 00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:33,347 THE WE GOT TO VIRAL SENSATION OF THE SUMMER THAT'S SOMEHOW FAMOUS FOR ONE SENTENCE, HAILEY WELSH. 464 00:20:33,349 --> 00:20:34,782 THE SUMMER THAT'S SOMEHOW FAMOUS FOR ONE SENTENCE, HAILEY WELSH. >> SPIT ON THAT THING! 465 00:20:34,784 --> 00:20:36,584 FOR ONE SENTENCE, HAILEY WELSH. >> SPIT ON THAT THING! >> THAT'S THE ONE. 466 00:20:36,586 --> 00:20:36,851 >> SPIT ON THAT THING! >> THAT'S THE ONE. YEP. 467 00:20:36,853 --> 00:20:38,019 >> THAT'S THE ONE. YEP. HAILEY, WHAT CHARITY ARE YOU 468 00:20:38,021 --> 00:20:39,053 YEP. HAILEY, WHAT CHARITY ARE YOU SUPPORTING TODAY? 469 00:20:39,055 --> 00:20:41,589 HAILEY, WHAT CHARITY ARE YOU SUPPORTING TODAY? >> I'LL BE DONATED MY WINNINGS 470 00:20:41,591 --> 00:20:43,357 SUPPORTING TODAY? >> I'LL BE DONATED MY WINNINGS TO SOMEONE WHO WILL BE VERY 471 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,125 >> I'LL BE DONATED MY WINNINGS TO SOMEONE WHO WILL BE VERY HAPPY WITH THEM A YEAR FROM NOW, 472 00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:46,427 TO SOMEONE WHO WILL BE VERY HAPPY WITH THEM A YEAR FROM NOW, MYSELF. 473 00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:47,228 HAPPY WITH THEM A YEAR FROM NOW, MYSELF. >> OF COURSE. 474 00:20:47,230 --> 00:20:48,829 MYSELF. >> OF COURSE. WELL, TODAY, YOU PLAYING 475 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,465 >> OF COURSE. WELL, TODAY, YOU PLAYING ALONGSIDE THE STAR OF THE DOCU 476 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:54,869 WELL, TODAY, YOU PLAYING ALONGSIDE THE STAR OF THE DOCU SERIES CHIMP CRAZY, TONIA 477 00:20:54,871 --> 00:20:55,202 ALONGSIDE THE STAR OF THE DOCU SERIES CHIMP CRAZY, TONIA HADDIX. 478 00:20:55,204 --> 00:20:57,571 SERIES CHIMP CRAZY, TONIA HADDIX. >> I KNOW THAT DOCUMENTARY MADE 479 00:20:57,573 --> 00:20:59,340 HADDIX. >> I KNOW THAT DOCUMENTARY MADE ME SEEM CRAZY, BUT THAT'S ALL 480 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,541 >> I KNOW THAT DOCUMENTARY MADE ME SEEM CRAZY, BUT THAT'S ALL FOR TV. 481 00:21:00,543 --> 00:21:02,343 ME SEEM CRAZY, BUT THAT'S ALL FOR TV. I'M A NORMAL LADY. 482 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,845 FOR TV. I'M A NORMAL LADY. >> WHO'S THAT YOU GOT ON YOUR 483 00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:05,513 I'M A NORMAL LADY. >> WHO'S THAT YOU GOT ON YOUR SHOULDER THERE? 484 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:06,914 >> WHO'S THAT YOU GOT ON YOUR SHOULDER THERE? >> THIS IS MY HUSBAND. 485 00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:08,382 SHOULDER THERE? >> THIS IS MY HUSBAND. >> SUPER DUPER. 486 00:21:08,384 --> 00:21:10,685 >> THIS IS MY HUSBAND. >> SUPER DUPER. AND ON THE OTHER SIDE JOINING US 487 00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:14,655 >> SUPER DUPER. AND ON THE OTHER SIDE JOINING US AFTER HIS ROUGHLY 1,000 LATIN 488 00:21:14,657 --> 00:21:16,824 AND ON THE OTHER SIDE JOINING US AFTER HIS ROUGHLY 1,000 LATIN GRAMMY WINS IS POP STAR BAD 489 00:21:16,826 --> 00:21:17,124 AFTER HIS ROUGHLY 1,000 LATIN GRAMMY WINS IS POP STAR BAD BUNNY. 490 00:21:17,126 --> 00:21:20,027 GRAMMY WINS IS POP STAR BAD BUNNY. HOW YOU FEELING, BENITO? 491 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,964 BUNNY. HOW YOU FEELING, BENITO? >> HONESTLY, I'M FEELING LIKE 492 00:21:22,966 --> 00:21:25,666 HOW YOU FEELING, BENITO? >> HONESTLY, I'M FEELING LIKE I'M TOO FAMOUS TO BE HERE RIGHT 493 00:21:25,668 --> 00:21:25,933 >> HONESTLY, I'M FEELING LIKE I'M TOO FAMOUS TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW. 494 00:21:25,935 --> 00:21:28,970 I'M TOO FAMOUS TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW. YESTERDAY, I WAS ON A YACHT WITH 495 00:21:28,972 --> 00:21:31,472 NOW. YESTERDAY, I WAS ON A YACHT WITH LeBRON AND DiCAPRIO, AND NOW I'M 496 00:21:31,474 --> 00:21:33,607 YESTERDAY, I WAS ON A YACHT WITH LeBRON AND DiCAPRIO, AND NOW I'M NEXT TO THE LADY MAKE WHO MAKING 497 00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,675 LeBRON AND DiCAPRIO, AND NOW I'M NEXT TO THE LADY MAKE WHO MAKING LOVE TO THE MONKEY. 498 00:21:34,677 --> 00:21:36,978 NEXT TO THE LADY MAKE WHO MAKING LOVE TO THE MONKEY. >> WELL, YOUR PARTNER HAS BEEN 499 00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:38,546 LOVE TO THE MONKEY. >> WELL, YOUR PARTNER HAS BEEN IN HOT WATER RECENTLY FOR 500 00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,214 >> WELL, YOUR PARTNER HAS BEEN IN HOT WATER RECENTLY FOR COMMENTS HE LEFT ON A 501 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,016 IN HOT WATER RECENTLY FOR COMMENTS HE LEFT ON A PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. 502 00:21:42,018 --> 00:21:44,285 COMMENTS HE LEFT ON A PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. HE IS THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR, 503 00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:45,052 PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. HE IS THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR, MARK ROBINSON. 504 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,922 HE IS THE LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR, MARK ROBINSON. >> COME ON, MAN. 505 00:21:47,924 --> 00:21:48,322 MARK ROBINSON. >> COME ON, MAN. THAT WAS AI. 506 00:21:48,324 --> 00:21:49,490 >> COME ON, MAN. THAT WAS AI. I AIN'T COMMENT ON ALL THEM 507 00:21:49,492 --> 00:21:50,691 THAT WAS AI. I AIN'T COMMENT ON ALL THEM AMAZING PORNOS. 508 00:21:50,693 --> 00:21:52,493 I AIN'T COMMENT ON ALL THEM AMAZING PORNOS. >> AMAZING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE 509 00:21:52,495 --> 00:21:53,527 AMAZING PORNOS. >> AMAZING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU DID IT. 510 00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:56,263 >> AMAZING MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU DID IT. >> I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THE 511 00:21:56,265 --> 00:21:57,264 YOU DID IT. >> I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THE MINUTIA, BUT THAT AIN'T ME. 512 00:21:57,266 --> 00:22:00,434 >> I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THE MINUTIA, BUT THAT AIN'T ME. I MEAN, WHAT WAS MY USER NAME? 513 00:22:00,436 --> 00:22:01,669 MINUTIA, BUT THAT AIN'T ME. I MEAN, WHAT WAS MY USER NAME? MINI SOLDIER? 514 00:22:01,671 --> 00:22:03,871 I MEAN, WHAT WAS MY USER NAME? MINI SOLDIER? THEY GOT AI COMING UP WITH THE 515 00:22:03,873 --> 00:22:04,705 MINI SOLDIER? THEY GOT AI COMING UP WITH THE COOLEST USER NAMES. 516 00:22:04,707 --> 00:22:05,673 THEY GOT AI COMING UP WITH THE COOLEST USER NAMES. >> WHATEVER YOU SAY. 517 00:22:05,675 --> 00:22:05,973 COOLEST USER NAMES. >> WHATEVER YOU SAY. OKAY. 518 00:22:05,975 --> 00:22:06,907 >> WHATEVER YOU SAY. OKAY. THE TEAMS ARE SET. 519 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:08,542 OKAY. THE TEAMS ARE SET. ROUND ONE, MARK, WE WILL START 520 00:22:08,544 --> 00:22:10,678 THE TEAMS ARE SET. ROUND ONE, MARK, WE WILL START WITH YOU AND BAD BUNNY. 521 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,780 ROUND ONE, MARK, WE WILL START WITH YOU AND BAD BUNNY. LET'S GO TO THE PYRAMID FOR YOUR 522 00:22:12,782 --> 00:22:13,147 WITH YOU AND BAD BUNNY. LET'S GO TO THE PYRAMID FOR YOUR CATEGORY. 523 00:22:13,149 --> 00:22:13,481 LET'S GO TO THE PYRAMID FOR YOUR CATEGORY. >> OKAY. 524 00:22:13,483 --> 00:22:15,082 CATEGORY. >> OKAY. I WANT IN THE CLUB. 525 00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:21,088 >> OKAY. I WANT IN THE CLUB. BOBBY, I LOVE THE CLUB. 526 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:21,722 I WANT IN THE CLUB. BOBBY, I LOVE THE CLUB. [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 527 00:22:21,724 --> 00:22:25,359 BOBBY, I LOVE THE CLUB. [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] >> MR. BUNNY, YOU ARE ONE SEXUAL 528 00:22:25,361 --> 00:22:25,693 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] >> MR. BUNNY, YOU ARE ONE SEXUAL FELLOW. 529 00:22:25,695 --> 00:22:26,093 >> MR. BUNNY, YOU ARE ONE SEXUAL FELLOW. ALL RIGHT. 530 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,561 FELLOW. ALL RIGHT. YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE CLUES 531 00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:28,229 ALL RIGHT. YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE CLUES FIRST. 532 00:22:28,231 --> 00:22:29,897 YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE CLUES FIRST. 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND 533 00:22:29,899 --> 00:22:30,231 FIRST. 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND BEGIN. 534 00:22:30,233 --> 00:22:30,598 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND BEGIN. >> OKAY. 535 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,166 BEGIN. >> OKAY. THIS IS LIKE THE MAIN THING YOU 536 00:22:32,168 --> 00:22:33,300 >> OKAY. THIS IS LIKE THE MAIN THING YOU DO IN THE CLUB. 537 00:22:33,302 --> 00:22:35,302 THIS IS LIKE THE MAIN THING YOU DO IN THE CLUB. >> CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE. 538 00:22:35,304 --> 00:22:36,837 DO IN THE CLUB. >> CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE. >> NO. 539 00:22:36,839 --> 00:22:37,138 >> CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE. >> NO. OKAY. 540 00:22:37,140 --> 00:22:38,706 >> NO. OKAY. IF THE COPS FIND THIS ON YOU, 541 00:22:38,708 --> 00:22:39,840 OKAY. IF THE COPS FIND THIS ON YOU, YOU GO TO JAIL. 542 00:22:39,842 --> 00:22:40,574 IF THE COPS FIND THIS ON YOU, YOU GO TO JAIL. >> MY CELL PHONE, MY PERSONAL 543 00:22:40,576 --> 00:22:44,245 YOU GO TO JAIL. >> MY CELL PHONE, MY PERSONAL CELL PHONE. 544 00:22:44,247 --> 00:22:44,945 >> MY CELL PHONE, MY PERSONAL CELL PHONE. >> PASS. 545 00:22:44,947 --> 00:22:46,981 CELL PHONE. >> PASS. YOU PULL IT UP ON YOUR PHONE, 546 00:22:46,983 --> 00:22:48,883 >> PASS. YOU PULL IT UP ON YOUR PHONE, AND YOU GO FOR A RIDE. 547 00:22:48,885 --> 00:22:51,919 YOU PULL IT UP ON YOUR PHONE, AND YOU GO FOR A RIDE. >> NUDE AFRICA, THE WEBSITE NUDE 548 00:22:51,921 --> 00:22:52,253 AND YOU GO FOR A RIDE. >> NUDE AFRICA, THE WEBSITE NUDE AFRICA. 549 00:22:52,255 --> 00:22:54,055 >> NUDE AFRICA, THE WEBSITE NUDE AFRICA. >> PASS. 550 00:22:54,057 --> 00:22:54,355 AFRICA. >> PASS. OKAY. 551 00:22:54,357 --> 00:22:56,791 >> PASS. OKAY. IT FEELS GOOD IN THE MOMENT, BUT 552 00:22:56,793 --> 00:22:58,426 OKAY. IT FEELS GOOD IN THE MOMENT, BUT YOU ALWAYS REGRET IT. 553 00:22:58,428 --> 00:23:01,362 IT FEELS GOOD IN THE MOMENT, BUT YOU ALWAYS REGRET IT. >> COMMENTING I'M A BLACK NAZI 554 00:23:01,364 --> 00:23:04,365 YOU ALWAYS REGRET IT. >> COMMENTING I'M A BLACK NAZI ON A PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. 555 00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:05,366 >> COMMENTING I'M A BLACK NAZI ON A PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. >> WOW, THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTELY 556 00:23:05,368 --> 00:23:06,434 ON A PORNOGRAPHIC WEBSITE. >> WOW, THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL PERFORMANCE. 557 00:23:06,436 --> 00:23:07,735 >> WOW, THAT WAS AN ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL PERFORMANCE. WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE, MARK? 558 00:23:07,737 --> 00:23:08,402 BRUTAL PERFORMANCE. WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE, MARK? >> GUESS I GOT MY OWN STUFF 559 00:23:08,404 --> 00:23:11,305 WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE, MARK? >> GUESS I GOT MY OWN STUFF GOING ON. 560 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:14,241 >> GUESS I GOT MY OWN STUFF GOING ON. >> YEAH, THAT YOU DO. 561 00:23:14,243 --> 00:23:16,177 GOING ON. >> YEAH, THAT YOU DO. LET'S MOVE ON TO HAILEY AND 562 00:23:16,179 --> 00:23:16,477 >> YEAH, THAT YOU DO. LET'S MOVE ON TO HAILEY AND TONYA. 563 00:23:16,479 --> 00:23:17,211 LET'S MOVE ON TO HAILEY AND TONYA. GUYS, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT 564 00:23:17,213 --> 00:23:18,212 TONYA. GUYS, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT THAT? 565 00:23:18,214 --> 00:23:21,182 GUYS, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT THAT? >> YOU'RE BAD. 566 00:23:21,184 --> 00:23:24,085 THAT? >> YOU'RE BAD. >> HMM. 567 00:23:24,087 --> 00:23:25,152 >> YOU'RE BAD. >> HMM. ALL RIGHT. 568 00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:26,754 >> HMM. ALL RIGHT. HAILEY, LET'S SEE YOUR 569 00:23:26,756 --> 00:23:27,154 ALL RIGHT. HAILEY, LET'S SEE YOUR CATEGORIES. 570 00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:29,390 HAILEY, LET'S SEE YOUR CATEGORIES. >> OKAY. 571 00:23:29,392 --> 00:23:31,125 CATEGORIES. >> OKAY. LET'S GO WITH THINGS BABIES 572 00:23:31,127 --> 00:23:31,425 >> OKAY. LET'S GO WITH THINGS BABIES NEED. 573 00:23:31,427 --> 00:23:32,326 LET'S GO WITH THINGS BABIES NEED. >> ALL RIGHT. 574 00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,929 NEED. >> ALL RIGHT. 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND 575 00:23:34,931 --> 00:23:35,262 >> ALL RIGHT. 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND BEGIN. 576 00:23:35,264 --> 00:23:36,764 30 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, AND BEGIN. >> THING THEY PUT IN THEIR 577 00:23:36,766 --> 00:23:37,098 BEGIN. >> THING THEY PUT IN THEIR MOUTH. 578 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:38,933 >> THING THEY PUT IN THEIR MOUTH. >> BANANA. 579 00:23:38,935 --> 00:23:39,700 MOUTH. >> BANANA. >> PASS. 580 00:23:39,702 --> 00:23:40,701 >> BANANA. >> PASS. WHERE THEY SLEEP. 581 00:23:40,703 --> 00:23:43,571 >> PASS. WHERE THEY SLEEP. >> CAGE, BIG GLASS CAGE. 582 00:23:43,573 --> 00:23:45,406 WHERE THEY SLEEP. >> CAGE, BIG GLASS CAGE. >> WHAT YOU GOT TO CHANGE IF YOU 583 00:23:45,408 --> 00:23:46,540 >> CAGE, BIG GLASS CAGE. >> WHAT YOU GOT TO CHANGE IF YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT. 584 00:23:46,542 --> 00:23:48,676 >> WHAT YOU GOT TO CHANGE IF YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT. >> THE LOCK TO THE BIG GLASS 585 00:23:48,678 --> 00:23:48,976 HAD AN ACCIDENT. >> THE LOCK TO THE BIG GLASS CAGE. 586 00:23:48,978 --> 00:23:49,343 >> THE LOCK TO THE BIG GLASS CAGE. >> PASS. 587 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,345 CAGE. >> PASS. THE THING THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE 588 00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:51,679 >> PASS. THE THING THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE UPSET. 589 00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,080 THE THING THEY DO WHEN THEY'RE UPSET. >> THROW FECES. 590 00:23:53,082 --> 00:23:54,715 UPSET. >> THROW FECES. TEAR A CAT IN HALF. 591 00:23:54,717 --> 00:23:56,350 >> THROW FECES. TEAR A CAT IN HALF. RIP MY SISTER'S HANDS OFF 592 00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:58,786 TEAR A CAT IN HALF. RIP MY SISTER'S HANDS OFF BECAUSE SHE GOT A NEW HAIR CUT. 593 00:23:58,788 --> 00:24:00,488 RIP MY SISTER'S HANDS OFF BECAUSE SHE GOT A NEW HAIR CUT. >> OH, MY GOD, PASS. 594 00:24:00,490 --> 00:24:01,122 BECAUSE SHE GOT A NEW HAIR CUT. >> OH, MY GOD, PASS. FOCUS, PLEASE. 595 00:24:01,124 --> 00:24:01,622 >> OH, MY GOD, PASS. FOCUS, PLEASE. ALL RIGHT. 596 00:24:01,624 --> 00:24:03,991 FOCUS, PLEASE. ALL RIGHT. THIS ONE IS HOW BABIES GET THEIR 597 00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:04,291 ALL RIGHT. THIS ONE IS HOW BABIES GET THEIR FOOD. 598 00:24:04,293 --> 00:24:08,329 THIS ONE IS HOW BABIES GET THEIR FOOD. >> OH, DUH, BREASTFEEDING. 599 00:24:08,331 --> 00:24:09,864 FOOD. >> OH, DUH, BREASTFEEDING. >> RIGHT AT THE BUZZER. 600 00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:10,898 >> OH, DUH, BREASTFEEDING. >> RIGHT AT THE BUZZER. I THOUGHT WE WERE ABOUT TO HAVE 601 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:14,969 >> RIGHT AT THE BUZZER. I THOUGHT WE WERE ABOUT TO HAVE THE FIRST GAME WITH ABSOLUTELY 602 00:24:14,971 --> 00:24:15,503 I THOUGHT WE WERE ABOUT TO HAVE THE FIRST GAME WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO POINTS SCORED. 603 00:24:15,505 --> 00:24:17,872 THE FIRST GAME WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO POINTS SCORED. FINALLY, TONIA STARTED THINKING 604 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:18,706 ZERO POINTS SCORED. FINALLY, TONIA STARTED THINKING ABOUT HUMAN BABIES. 605 00:24:18,708 --> 00:24:21,242 FINALLY, TONIA STARTED THINKING ABOUT HUMAN BABIES. >> NO, I DIDN'T. 606 00:24:21,244 --> 00:24:23,644 ABOUT HUMAN BABIES. >> NO, I DIDN'T. >> UP NEXT, WE WILL HAVE MORE 607 00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:24,745 >> NO, I DIDN'T. >> UP NEXT, WE WILL HAVE MORE AMAZING CELEBRITIES INCLUDING, 608 00:24:24,747 --> 00:24:27,581 >> UP NEXT, WE WILL HAVE MORE AMAZING CELEBRITIES INCLUDING, YOU GUESSED IT, THE TURKISH 609 00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,084 AMAZING CELEBRITIES INCLUDING, YOU GUESSED IT, THE TURKISH SHARP SHOOTER. 610 00:24:30,086 --> 00:24:30,751 YOU GUESSED IT, THE TURKISH SHARP SHOOTER. >> TELL THE MONKEY TO STOP 611 00:24:30,753 --> 00:24:36,257 SHARP SHOOTER. >> TELL THE MONKEY TO STOP LOOKING AT ME. 612 00:24:36,259 --> 00:24:37,591 >> TELL THE MONKEY TO STOP LOOKING AT ME. >> UH-OH. 613 00:24:37,593 --> 00:24:38,993 LOOKING AT ME. >> UH-OH. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER I 614 00:24:38,995 --> 00:24:47,334 >> UH-OH. WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER I DEESCALATE THIS SITUATION. 615 00:24:47,336 --> 00:24:49,803 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER I DEESCALATE THIS SITUATION. >>> TIMES MAY BE GOOD ON WALL 616 00:24:49,805 --> 00:24:51,005 DEESCALATE THIS SITUATION. >>> TIMES MAY BE GOOD ON WALL STREET, BUT ON MAIN STREET, 617 00:24:51,007 --> 00:24:57,611 >>> TIMES MAY BE GOOD ON WALL STREET, BUT ON MAIN STREET, COMMUNITIES ARE STRUGGLING. 618 00:24:57,613 --> 00:24:59,079 STREET, BUT ON MAIN STREET, COMMUNITIES ARE STRUGGLING. CLOSED STORES, SHUTTERED 619 00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:00,481 COMMUNITIES ARE STRUGGLING. CLOSED STORES, SHUTTERED BUSINESSES, EMPTY PARKING LOTS. 620 00:25:00,483 --> 00:25:02,149 CLOSED STORES, SHUTTERED BUSINESSES, EMPTY PARKING LOTS. WHEN HARD TIMES HIT, IT'S EASY 621 00:25:02,151 --> 00:25:03,951 BUSINESSES, EMPTY PARKING LOTS. WHEN HARD TIMES HIT, IT'S EASY TO FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES. 622 00:25:03,953 --> 00:25:07,788 WHEN HARD TIMES HIT, IT'S EASY TO FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES. BUT HELP IS ON THE WAY. 623 00:25:07,790 --> 00:25:09,023 TO FEEL LIKE NO ONE CARES. BUT HELP IS ON THE WAY. BECAUSE WHEN OTHERS LEAVE, WE 624 00:25:09,025 --> 00:25:11,892 BUT HELP IS ON THE WAY. BECAUSE WHEN OTHERS LEAVE, WE SHOW UP. 625 00:25:11,894 --> 00:25:14,261 BECAUSE WHEN OTHERS LEAVE, WE SHOW UP. WE DON'T SEE A DEAD END TOWN. 626 00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:17,431 SHOW UP. WE DON'T SEE A DEAD END TOWN. >> WE DON'T SEE AN ABANDONED 627 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:17,765 WE DON'T SEE A DEAD END TOWN. >> WE DON'T SEE AN ABANDONED K-MART. 628 00:25:17,767 --> 00:25:18,599 >> WE DON'T SEE AN ABANDONED K-MART. >> WE SEE A SPIRIT -- A SPIRIT 629 00:25:18,601 --> 00:25:27,241 K-MART. >> WE SEE A SPIRIT -- A SPIRIT HALLOWEEN. 630 00:25:27,243 --> 00:25:29,877 >> WE SEE A SPIRIT -- A SPIRIT HALLOWEEN. >> SINCE 1983, SPIRIT HALLOWEEN 631 00:25:29,879 --> 00:25:32,746 HALLOWEEN. >> SINCE 1983, SPIRIT HALLOWEEN HAS BEEN HELPING OUR STRUGGLING 632 00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:33,747 >> SINCE 1983, SPIRIT HALLOWEEN HAS BEEN HELPING OUR STRUGGLING COMMUNITIES BY SETTING UP SHOP 633 00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:36,884 HAS BEEN HELPING OUR STRUGGLING COMMUNITIES BY SETTING UP SHOP IN EVERY VACANT BUILDING IN THE 634 00:25:36,886 --> 00:25:37,718 COMMUNITIES BY SETTING UP SHOP IN EVERY VACANT BUILDING IN THE COUNTRY FOR SIX WEEK. 635 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,187 IN EVERY VACANT BUILDING IN THE COUNTRY FOR SIX WEEK. >> WHAT USED TO BE A CONDEMNED 636 00:25:40,189 --> 00:25:42,289 COUNTRY FOR SIX WEEK. >> WHAT USED TO BE A CONDEMNED AUTO ZONE WHERE A MURDER ONCE 637 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,758 >> WHAT USED TO BE A CONDEMNED AUTO ZONE WHERE A MURDER ONCE HAPPENED IS ONCE AGAIN A DRIVING 638 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,328 AUTO ZONE WHERE A MURDER ONCE HAPPENED IS ONCE AGAIN A DRIVING BUSINESS WHERE A MURDER HAPPEN 639 00:25:47,330 --> 00:25:49,697 HAPPENED IS ONCE AGAIN A DRIVING BUSINESS WHERE A MURDER HAPPEN ZBLD WE'RE HERE PROVIDING NULL 640 00:25:49,699 --> 00:25:50,397 BUSINESS WHERE A MURDER HAPPEN ZBLD WE'RE HERE PROVIDING NULL INITIAL COMMUNITIES WITH THE 641 00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,066 ZBLD WE'RE HERE PROVIDING NULL INITIAL COMMUNITIES WITH THE THINGS THEY NEED MOST, WIG WIG 642 00:25:52,068 --> 00:25:55,970 INITIAL COMMUNITIES WITH THE THINGS THEY NEED MOST, WIG WIG THAT IS GIVE YOU A RASH, SINGLE 643 00:25:55,972 --> 00:25:58,239 THINGS THEY NEED MOST, WIG WIG THAT IS GIVE YOU A RASH, SINGLE USE FOG MACHINES, AND COSTUMES 644 00:25:58,241 --> 00:25:59,773 THAT IS GIVE YOU A RASH, SINGLE USE FOG MACHINES, AND COSTUMES OF CHARACTERS TWEAKED JUST 645 00:25:59,775 --> 00:26:01,442 USE FOG MACHINES, AND COSTUMES OF CHARACTERS TWEAKED JUST ENOUGH TO AVOID A LAWSUIT. 646 00:26:01,444 --> 00:26:04,011 OF CHARACTERS TWEAKED JUST ENOUGH TO AVOID A LAWSUIT. >> IT'S NOT JUST EMPTY BUILDINGS 647 00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:05,346 ENOUGH TO AVOID A LAWSUIT. >> IT'S NOT JUST EMPTY BUILDINGS WE'RE INVESTING IN. 648 00:26:05,348 --> 00:26:07,948 >> IT'S NOT JUST EMPTY BUILDINGS WE'RE INVESTING IN. IT'S PEOPLE AND CREATING 649 00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:09,750 WE'RE INVESTING IN. IT'S PEOPLE AND CREATING SIX-WEEK JOBS FOR SOME OF 650 00:26:09,752 --> 00:26:10,884 IT'S PEOPLE AND CREATING SIX-WEEK JOBS FOR SOME OF AMERICA'S BIGGEST PERVERTS. 651 00:26:10,886 --> 00:26:13,520 SIX-WEEK JOBS FOR SOME OF AMERICA'S BIGGEST PERVERTS. >> BEFORE I RING YOU UP, ARE YOU 652 00:26:13,522 --> 00:26:15,189 AMERICA'S BIGGEST PERVERTS. >> BEFORE I RING YOU UP, ARE YOU OVER 18 YEARS OLD? 653 00:26:15,191 --> 00:26:15,623 >> BEFORE I RING YOU UP, ARE YOU OVER 18 YEARS OLD? >> NO. 654 00:26:15,625 --> 00:26:17,658 OVER 18 YEARS OLD? >> NO. >> I'M NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO 655 00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:18,959 >> NO. >> I'M NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU. 656 00:26:18,961 --> 00:26:21,028 >> I'M NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU. LET ME GRAB AN ASSOCIATE TO HELP 657 00:26:21,030 --> 00:26:21,729 TALK TO YOU. LET ME GRAB AN ASSOCIATE TO HELP YOU OUT. 658 00:26:21,731 --> 00:26:22,963 LET ME GRAB AN ASSOCIATE TO HELP YOU OUT. THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD THOUGH. 659 00:26:22,965 --> 00:26:24,465 YOU OUT. THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD THOUGH. >> BEST PART IS WE'RE ABLE TO 660 00:26:24,467 --> 00:26:26,233 THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD THOUGH. >> BEST PART IS WE'RE ABLE TO HELP STRUGGLING AREAS IN REAL 661 00:26:26,235 --> 00:26:28,302 >> BEST PART IS WE'RE ABLE TO HELP STRUGGLING AREAS IN REAL TIME BY STOCKING, STAFFING, AND 662 00:26:28,304 --> 00:26:28,969 HELP STRUGGLING AREAS IN REAL TIME BY STOCKING, STAFFING, AND OPENING A NEW LOCATION IN 663 00:26:28,971 --> 00:26:32,306 TIME BY STOCKING, STAFFING, AND OPENING A NEW LOCATION IN MINUTES. 664 00:26:32,308 --> 00:26:33,841 OPENING A NEW LOCATION IN MINUTES. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WE'RE NOT 665 00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,810 MINUTES. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WE'RE NOT JUST HELPING COMMUNITIES, WE'RE 666 00:26:36,812 --> 00:26:38,312 >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WE'RE NOT JUST HELPING COMMUNITIES, WE'RE ALSO MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE. 667 00:26:38,314 --> 00:26:40,514 JUST HELPING COMMUNITIES, WE'RE ALSO MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE. >> EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A 668 00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:42,016 ALSO MAKING DREAMS COME TRUE. >> EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A TAYLOR SWIFT COSTUME? 669 00:26:42,018 --> 00:26:43,150 >> EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A TAYLOR SWIFT COSTUME? >> YOU BET. 670 00:26:43,152 --> 00:26:44,918 TAYLOR SWIFT COSTUME? >> YOU BET. >> THIS ISN'T TAYLOR SWIFT. 671 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,322 >> YOU BET. >> THIS ISN'T TAYLOR SWIFT. >> AND NEITHER ARE YOU. 672 00:26:48,324 --> 00:26:49,823 >> THIS ISN'T TAYLOR SWIFT. >> AND NEITHER ARE YOU. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WHEN YOU 673 00:26:49,825 --> 00:26:52,159 >> AND NEITHER ARE YOU. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WHEN YOU NEED US, WE'LL BE HERE. 674 00:26:52,161 --> 00:26:52,893 >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, WHEN YOU NEED US, WE'LL BE HERE. FOR SIX WEEKS. 675 00:26:52,895 --> 00:26:54,561 NEED US, WE'LL BE HERE. FOR SIX WEEKS. >> BECAUSE ON NOVEMBER 1st, 676 00:26:54,563 --> 00:26:56,797 FOR SIX WEEKS. >> BECAUSE ON NOVEMBER 1st, WE'RE GOING GONE. 677 00:26:56,799 --> 00:26:58,732 >> BECAUSE ON NOVEMBER 1st, WE'RE GOING GONE. AND ALL THIS JUNK WILL BE IN A 678 00:26:58,734 --> 00:26:59,099 WE'RE GOING GONE. AND ALL THIS JUNK WILL BE IN A DUMPSTER. 679 00:26:59,101 --> 00:26:59,867 AND ALL THIS JUNK WILL BE IN A DUMPSTER. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, COMING AND 680 00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:02,803 DUMPSTER. >> SPIRIT HALLOWEEN, COMING AND GOING SOON. 681 00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:37,354 >>> HI. I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT THE WRITER YOU WANTED TO MEET WITH 682 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,222 I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT THE WRITER YOU WANTED TO MEET WITH IS HERE? 683 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,190 WRITER YOU WANTED TO MEET WITH IS HERE? THANK YOU. 684 00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:41,258 IS HERE? THANK YOU. SEND HER IN. 685 00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:41,859 THANK YOU. SEND HER IN. 686 00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:43,293 SEND HER IN. 687 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:43,594 JESS, WE DON'T WEAR T-SHIRTS HERE. 688 00:27:43,596 --> 00:27:45,329 JESS, WE DON'T WEAR T-SHIRTS HERE. >> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. 689 00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:46,764 HERE. >> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. HI, BARBARA BURKEMAN. 690 00:27:46,766 --> 00:27:49,600 >> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE. HI, BARBARA BURKEMAN. >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN. 691 00:27:49,602 --> 00:27:50,067 HI, BARBARA BURKEMAN. >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN. PLEASE SIT. 692 00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:51,969 >> THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING IN. PLEASE SIT. >> IT'S ABOUT MY BOOK, ISN'T IT? 693 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:54,405 PLEASE SIT. >> IT'S ABOUT MY BOOK, ISN'T IT? ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVED NEW 694 00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:56,407 >> IT'S ABOUT MY BOOK, ISN'T IT? ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVED NEW MATH BOOK YOU ASKED ME TO WRITE? 695 00:27:56,409 --> 00:27:57,741 ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVED NEW MATH BOOK YOU ASKED ME TO WRITE? >> IT IS ABOUT THAT, YES. 696 00:27:57,743 --> 00:28:00,044 MATH BOOK YOU ASKED ME TO WRITE? >> IT IS ABOUT THAT, YES. >> WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS, 697 00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,112 >> IT IS ABOUT THAT, YES. >> WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS, I SAID IS BARBARA BURKEMAN 698 00:28:02,114 --> 00:28:04,581 >> WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO DO THIS, I SAID IS BARBARA BURKEMAN REALLY COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT 699 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:06,116 I SAID IS BARBARA BURKEMAN REALLY COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT TO WRITE A MATH BOOK WHEN ALL 700 00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:07,918 REALLY COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT TO WRITE A MATH BOOK WHEN ALL SHE'S EVER DONE IS A ROMANCE 701 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:08,218 TO WRITE A MATH BOOK WHEN ALL SHE'S EVER DONE IS A ROMANCE NOVEL. 702 00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:09,019 SHE'S EVER DONE IS A ROMANCE NOVEL. I'M GLAD I DID. 703 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:10,954 NOVEL. I'M GLAD I DID. >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, SOME 704 00:28:10,956 --> 00:28:13,290 I'M GLAD I DID. >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, SOME ADVANCED COPIES WERE SENT OUT TO 705 00:28:13,292 --> 00:28:14,491 >> WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, SOME ADVANCED COPIES WERE SENT OUT TO SCHOOLS BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO 706 00:28:14,493 --> 00:28:16,860 ADVANCED COPIES WERE SENT OUT TO SCHOOLS BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO PROOF THE ENTIRE MANUSCRIPT. 707 00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:17,294 SCHOOLS BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO PROOF THE ENTIRE MANUSCRIPT. >> AND? 708 00:28:17,296 --> 00:28:19,696 PROOF THE ENTIRE MANUSCRIPT. >> AND? >> WELL, THERE WAS SOME CONCERN, 709 00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:20,764 >> AND? >> WELL, THERE WAS SOME CONCERN, ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE WORD 710 00:28:20,766 --> 00:28:21,131 >> WELL, THERE WAS SOME CONCERN, ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE WORD PROBLEMS. 711 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:23,200 ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE WORD PROBLEMS. >> OH, THE WORD PROBLEMS ARE THE 712 00:28:23,202 --> 00:28:23,901 PROBLEMS. >> OH, THE WORD PROBLEMS ARE THE MOST FUN TO WRITE. 713 00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:25,702 >> OH, THE WORD PROBLEMS ARE THE MOST FUN TO WRITE. >> WELL, CAN I ASK YOU TO READ 714 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,104 MOST FUN TO WRITE. >> WELL, CAN I ASK YOU TO READ THE ONE AT THE TOP OF PAGE 96? 715 00:28:27,106 --> 00:28:29,506 >> WELL, CAN I ASK YOU TO READ THE ONE AT THE TOP OF PAGE 96? >> OKAY. 716 00:28:29,508 --> 00:28:34,344 THE ONE AT THE TOP OF PAGE 96? >> OKAY. OKAY. 717 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:36,447 >> OKAY. OKAY. OH, 96. 718 00:28:36,449 --> 00:28:36,747 OKAY. OH, 96. OKAY. 719 00:28:36,749 --> 00:28:38,248 OH, 96. OKAY. WILLIAM HAS FIVE APPLES AND THE 720 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:43,353 OKAY. WILLIAM HAS FIVE APPLES AND THE BODY OF A GOD. 721 00:28:43,355 --> 00:28:45,489 WILLIAM HAS FIVE APPLES AND THE BODY OF A GOD. CLARISSA WATCHED IN AWE AS HE 722 00:28:45,491 --> 00:28:47,925 BODY OF A GOD. CLARISSA WATCHED IN AWE AS HE BIT INTO THE APPLE'S FLESH, THE 723 00:28:47,927 --> 00:28:50,260 CLARISSA WATCHED IN AWE AS HE BIT INTO THE APPLE'S FLESH, THE SWEET JUICE RUNNING DOWN HIS 724 00:28:50,262 --> 00:28:51,562 BIT INTO THE APPLE'S FLESH, THE SWEET JUICE RUNNING DOWN HIS MUSCLED NECK AND INTO THE 725 00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:55,833 SWEET JUICE RUNNING DOWN HIS MUSCLED NECK AND INTO THE FORBIDDEN MYSTERY THAT LAID 726 00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:56,500 MUSCLED NECK AND INTO THE FORBIDDEN MYSTERY THAT LAID BENEATH HIS WET UNDERSHIRT. 727 00:28:56,502 --> 00:29:00,070 FORBIDDEN MYSTERY THAT LAID BENEATH HIS WET UNDERSHIRT. HOW MANY APPLES DOES WILLIAM 728 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:00,437 BENEATH HIS WET UNDERSHIRT. HOW MANY APPLES DOES WILLIAM HAVE NOW. 729 00:29:00,439 --> 00:29:01,738 HOW MANY APPLES DOES WILLIAM HAVE NOW. >> OBVIOUSLY WE ARE WORRIED YOUR 730 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,507 HAVE NOW. >> OBVIOUSLY WE ARE WORRIED YOUR STYLE OF ROMANCE WRITING FOUND 731 00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:05,209 >> OBVIOUSLY WE ARE WORRIED YOUR STYLE OF ROMANCE WRITING FOUND ITS WAY INTO THIS TEXTBOOK. 732 00:29:05,211 --> 00:29:05,676 STYLE OF ROMANCE WRITING FOUND ITS WAY INTO THIS TEXTBOOK. >> REALLY? 733 00:29:05,678 --> 00:29:06,176 ITS WAY INTO THIS TEXTBOOK. >> REALLY? I DON'T SEE HOW. 734 00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:07,144 >> REALLY? I DON'T SEE HOW. >> WELL, READ THE NEXT ONE. 735 00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:10,814 I DON'T SEE HOW. >> WELL, READ THE NEXT ONE. >> OKAY. 736 00:29:10,816 --> 00:29:12,282 >> WELL, READ THE NEXT ONE. >> OKAY. CLARISSA STARED INTO THE EYES OF 737 00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:14,685 >> OKAY. CLARISSA STARED INTO THE EYES OF THE ITALIAN LOSING HERSELF 738 00:29:14,687 --> 00:29:16,253 CLARISSA STARED INTO THE EYES OF THE ITALIAN LOSING HERSELF COMPLETELY IN HIS MUSK. 739 00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:19,389 THE ITALIAN LOSING HERSELF COMPLETELY IN HIS MUSK. HE HAD THE MIND OF A CHILD BUT 740 00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:20,757 COMPLETELY IN HIS MUSK. HE HAD THE MIND OF A CHILD BUT THE HANDS OF A GORILLA, AND 741 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,960 HE HAD THE MIND OF A CHILD BUT THE HANDS OF A GORILLA, AND THERE WASN'T AN INCH OF HER BODY 742 00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:25,996 THE HANDS OF A GORILLA, AND THERE WASN'T AN INCH OF HER BODY THAT HADN'T BEEN EXPLORED. 743 00:29:25,998 --> 00:29:26,964 THERE WASN'T AN INCH OF HER BODY THAT HADN'T BEEN EXPLORED. WHAT'S FOUR MINUS SIX? 744 00:29:26,966 --> 00:29:27,531 THAT HADN'T BEEN EXPLORED. WHAT'S FOUR MINUS SIX? >> I MEAN, THAT'S NOT 745 00:29:27,533 --> 00:29:28,198 WHAT'S FOUR MINUS SIX? >> I MEAN, THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE. 746 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,568 >> I MEAN, THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE. >> HOW? 747 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:33,103 APPROPRIATE. >> HOW? LOOK, HIGH SCHOOLERS DON'T LIKE 748 00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:33,403 >> HOW? LOOK, HIGH SCHOOLERS DON'T LIKE MATH. 749 00:29:33,405 --> 00:29:34,404 LOOK, HIGH SCHOOLERS DON'T LIKE MATH. I MADE IT COOL. 750 00:29:34,406 --> 00:29:36,573 MATH. I MADE IT COOL. I EVEN MADE THE COVER COOL. 751 00:29:36,575 --> 00:29:37,407 I MADE IT COOL. I EVEN MADE THE COVER COOL. LOOK. 752 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:38,909 I EVEN MADE THE COVER COOL. LOOK. >> YEAH. 753 00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:39,576 LOOK. >> YEAH. WE DO SEE. 754 00:29:39,578 --> 00:29:41,078 >> YEAH. WE DO SEE. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 755 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,846 WE DO SEE. THAT'S THE PROBLEM. THAT SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. 756 00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:43,981 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. THAT SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. >> WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ THE 757 00:29:43,983 --> 00:29:44,481 THAT SHOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. >> WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ THE NEXT ONE, PLEASE? 758 00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:50,053 >> WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ THE NEXT ONE, PLEASE? >> OKAY. 759 00:29:50,055 --> 00:29:52,122 NEXT ONE, PLEASE? >> OKAY. CLARISSA HAD NEVER EVEN 760 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:52,890 >> OKAY. CLARISSA HAD NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED BEING WITH A WOMAN, 761 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:57,494 CLARISSA HAD NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED BEING WITH A WOMAN, AND YET HERE SHE WAS BOSOM TO 762 00:29:57,496 --> 00:30:00,130 CONSIDERED BEING WITH A WOMAN, AND YET HERE SHE WAS BOSOM TO BOSOM WITH LADY HARRINGTON. 763 00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:01,431 AND YET HERE SHE WAS BOSOM TO BOSOM WITH LADY HARRINGTON. I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO LEARN 764 00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:04,401 BOSOM WITH LADY HARRINGTON. I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO LEARN SOME MATH, TO WHICH LADY 765 00:30:04,403 --> 00:30:08,038 I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE TO LEARN SOME MATH, TO WHICH LADY HARRINGTON REPLIED, FINE, LET'S 766 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,174 SOME MATH, TO WHICH LADY HARRINGTON REPLIED, FINE, LET'S BEGIN BY SUBTRACTING YOU OUT OF 767 00:30:10,176 --> 00:30:11,008 HARRINGTON REPLIED, FINE, LET'S BEGIN BY SUBTRACTING YOU OUT OF THOSE PANTIES. 768 00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:15,012 BEGIN BY SUBTRACTING YOU OUT OF THOSE PANTIES. >> THAT'S NOT EVEN A MATH 769 00:30:15,014 --> 00:30:15,379 THOSE PANTIES. >> THAT'S NOT EVEN A MATH PROBLEM. 770 00:30:15,381 --> 00:30:15,812 >> THAT'S NOT EVEN A MATH PROBLEM. >> YES. 771 00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:19,049 PROBLEM. >> YES. WHAT IS 67 PLUS 2 FATHER NORRIS 772 00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:19,349 >> YES. WHAT IS 67 PLUS 2 FATHER NORRIS ASKED. 773 00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:21,919 WHAT IS 67 PLUS 2 FATHER NORRIS ASKED. 69 CLARISSA SAID WITH A SMIRK. 774 00:30:21,921 --> 00:30:22,953 ASKED. 69 CLARISSA SAID WITH A SMIRK. THAT'S EASY. 775 00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:24,621 69 CLARISSA SAID WITH A SMIRK. THAT'S EASY. NOT THAT EASY FATHER NORRIS SAID 776 00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:26,957 THAT'S EASY. NOT THAT EASY FATHER NORRIS SAID AS HE SPUN HER AROUND ON THE 777 00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:27,791 NOT THAT EASY FATHER NORRIS SAID AS HE SPUN HER AROUND ON THE LAZY SUSAN. 778 00:30:27,793 --> 00:30:28,492 AS HE SPUN HER AROUND ON THE LAZY SUSAN. >> GIRL, YOU CANNOT TALK LIKE 779 00:30:28,494 --> 00:30:33,931 LAZY SUSAN. >> GIRL, YOU CANNOT TALK LIKE THAT. 780 00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:35,065 >> GIRL, YOU CANNOT TALK LIKE THAT. >> AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH 781 00:30:35,067 --> 00:30:35,532 THAT. >> AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH CLARISSA? 782 00:30:35,534 --> 00:30:36,233 >> AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH CLARISSA? SHE'S SO EASY. 783 00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:36,800 CLARISSA? SHE'S SO EASY. >> OKAY. 784 00:30:36,802 --> 00:30:38,735 SHE'S SO EASY. >> OKAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE CLARISSA, 785 00:30:38,737 --> 00:30:42,105 >> OKAY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE CLARISSA, HERE'S ONE WITHOUT HER. 786 00:30:42,107 --> 00:30:44,841 IF YOU DON'T LIKE CLARISSA, HERE'S ONE WITHOUT HER. LET'S GO SKINNY DIPPING RODERICK 787 00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:47,544 HERE'S ONE WITHOUT HER. LET'S GO SKINNY DIPPING RODERICK SAID UNBUTTONING CLIFFORD'S 788 00:30:47,546 --> 00:30:47,844 LET'S GO SKINNY DIPPING RODERICK SAID UNBUTTONING CLIFFORD'S SHIRT. 789 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:48,845 SAID UNBUTTONING CLIFFORD'S SHIRT. WON'T PEOPLE TALK? 790 00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:51,715 SHIRT. WON'T PEOPLE TALK? LET THEM, RODERICK REPLIED 791 00:30:51,717 --> 00:30:54,418 WON'T PEOPLE TALK? LET THEM, RODERICK REPLIED RIPPING OFF HIS TUXEDO AND 792 00:30:54,420 --> 00:30:56,587 LET THEM, RODERICK REPLIED RIPPING OFF HIS TUXEDO AND RUNNING ERECTION LAST INTO THE 793 00:30:56,589 --> 00:30:56,954 RIPPING OFF HIS TUXEDO AND RUNNING ERECTION LAST INTO THE SEA. 794 00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:58,589 RUNNING ERECTION LAST INTO THE SEA. WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER. 795 00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:01,858 SEA. WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER. >> THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN 796 00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:03,594 WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER. >> THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN A.P. ALGEBRA BOOK. 797 00:31:03,596 --> 00:31:05,395 >> THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN A.P. ALGEBRA BOOK. NOT WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE 798 00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:05,729 A.P. ALGEBRA BOOK. NOT WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER. 799 00:31:05,731 --> 00:31:07,464 NOT WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER. >> AND HOW DO YOU RUN ERECTION 800 00:31:07,466 --> 00:31:07,764 NUMBER. >> AND HOW DO YOU RUN ERECTION LAST? 801 00:31:07,766 --> 00:31:09,600 >> AND HOW DO YOU RUN ERECTION LAST? >> AND I MISS CLARISSA. 802 00:31:09,602 --> 00:31:11,235 LAST? >> AND I MISS CLARISSA. >> WELL, THEN GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE 803 00:31:11,237 --> 00:31:13,470 >> AND I MISS CLARISSA. >> WELL, THEN GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT ME TO 804 00:31:13,472 --> 00:31:13,804 >> WELL, THEN GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT ME TO WRITE. 805 00:31:13,806 --> 00:31:15,239 OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT ME TO WRITE. >> IT TOOK THOMAS TEN MINUTES 806 00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:17,274 WRITE. >> IT TOOK THOMAS TEN MINUTES LONGER TO DO HIS MATH HOMEWORK 807 00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:18,609 >> IT TOOK THOMAS TEN MINUTES LONGER TO DO HIS MATH HOMEWORK THAN HISTORY. 808 00:31:18,611 --> 00:31:20,344 LONGER TO DO HIS MATH HOMEWORK THAN HISTORY. IF HE SPENT TWO HOURS, HOW LONG 809 00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:22,346 THAN HISTORY. IF HE SPENT TWO HOURS, HOW LONG DID HE SPEND ON MATH? 810 00:31:22,348 --> 00:31:22,813 IF HE SPENT TWO HOURS, HOW LONG DID HE SPEND ON MATH? >> ANYONE HARD? 811 00:31:22,815 --> 00:31:26,316 DID HE SPEND ON MATH? >> ANYONE HARD? I KNOW I'M NOT. 812 00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:27,184 >> ANYONE HARD? I KNOW I'M NOT. >> NO! 813 00:31:27,186 --> 00:31:30,053 I KNOW I'M NOT. >> NO! >> THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. 814 00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,555 >> NO! >> THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. I TRY TO WRITE ART, AND THEY 815 00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:32,990 >> THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. I TRY TO WRITE ART, AND THEY WANT SMUT. 816 00:31:32,992 --> 00:31:34,591 I TRY TO WRITE ART, AND THEY WANT SMUT. FINE. 817 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:38,328 WANT SMUT. FINE. HERE'S SOME MATH PORN. 818 00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:38,695 FINE. HERE'S SOME MATH PORN. OKAY. 819 00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:39,096 HERE'S SOME MATH PORN. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 820 00:31:39,098 --> 00:31:41,765 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. EARL OPENED THE CAR DOOR AND HIS 821 00:31:41,767 --> 00:31:44,901 ALL RIGHT. EARL OPENED THE CAR DOOR AND HIS DONG HIT THE DRIVEWAY. 822 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,504 EARL OPENED THE CAR DOOR AND HIS DONG HIT THE DRIVEWAY. WOW, CLARISSA SAID, THAT THING'S 823 00:31:47,506 --> 00:31:48,572 DONG HIT THE DRIVEWAY. WOW, CLARISSA SAID, THAT THING'S GONNA KILL ME. 824 00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:51,708 WOW, CLARISSA SAID, THAT THING'S GONNA KILL ME. HOW MANY TIRES ARE ON A CAR? 825 00:31:51,710 --> 00:31:52,009 GONNA KILL ME. HOW MANY TIRES ARE ON A CAR? >> NO. 826 00:31:52,011 --> 00:31:54,011 HOW MANY TIRES ARE ON A CAR? >> NO. WE CAN'T PUBLISH THIS. 827 00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:55,746 >> NO. WE CAN'T PUBLISH THIS. >> BUT I DO APPLAUD THE RETURN 828 00:31:55,748 --> 00:31:59,182 WE CAN'T PUBLISH THIS. >> BUT I DO APPLAUD THE RETURN OF CLARISSA. 829 00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:00,150 >> BUT I DO APPLAUD THE RETURN OF CLARISSA. >> SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW? 830 00:32:00,152 --> 00:32:02,319 OF CLARISSA. >> SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW? I GET FIRED? 831 00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:05,622 >> SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW? I GET FIRED? >> I AM SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT 832 00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:07,724 I GET FIRED? >> I AM SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT AGAIN, BUT THE SCHOOLS CALLED. 833 00:32:07,726 --> 00:32:08,492 >> I AM SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT AGAIN, BUT THE SCHOOLS CALLED. THE MATH SCORES ARE THROUGH THE 834 00:32:08,494 --> 00:32:11,028 AGAIN, BUT THE SCHOOLS CALLED. THE MATH SCORES ARE THROUGH THE ROOF! 835 00:32:11,030 --> 00:32:15,632 THE MATH SCORES ARE THROUGH THE ROOF! >> WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, 836 00:32:15,634 --> 00:32:16,033 ROOF! >> WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. 837 00:32:16,035 --> 00:32:18,302 >> WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. >> BARBARA, I GUESS WE WERE VERY 838 00:32:18,304 --> 00:32:18,602 WELL, WELL. >> BARBARA, I GUESS WE WERE VERY WRONG. 839 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:19,503 >> BARBARA, I GUESS WE WERE VERY WRONG. >> LOOKS LIKE ROMANCE ISN'T 840 00:32:19,505 --> 00:32:21,905 WRONG. >> LOOKS LIKE ROMANCE ISN'T DEAD. 841 00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:30,247 >> LOOKS LIKE ROMANCE ISN'T DEAD. AND JUST WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL. 842 00:32:30,249 --> 00:32:38,655 DEAD. AND JUST WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL. >> OH, HELLO, CLARISSA. 843 00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:14,408 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, JELLY ROLL! ¶¶ 844 00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:15,475 ROLL! ¶¶ ¶ I LET YOU DRIVE 845 00:33:15,477 --> 00:33:18,745 ¶¶ ¶ I LET YOU DRIVE AROUND MY MIND ¶ 846 00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:20,881 ¶ I LET YOU DRIVE AROUND MY MIND ¶ ¶ I CAN'T COUNT THE TIMES 847 00:33:20,883 --> 00:33:21,915 AROUND MY MIND ¶ ¶ I CAN'T COUNT THE TIMES YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE 848 00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:22,983 ¶ I CAN'T COUNT THE TIMES YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOTHING ¶ 849 00:33:22,985 --> 00:33:24,618 YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOTHING ¶ ¶ PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL 850 00:33:24,620 --> 00:33:26,787 I'M NOTHING ¶ ¶ PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL LIKE A FOOL ¶ 851 00:33:26,789 --> 00:33:28,422 ¶ PLAYED ME LIKE A FOOL LIKE A FOOL ¶ ¶ SAYING 852 00:33:28,424 --> 00:33:30,023 LIKE A FOOL ¶ ¶ SAYING DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY 853 00:33:30,025 --> 00:33:31,625 ¶ SAYING DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY POP ANOTHER PILL 854 00:33:31,627 --> 00:33:33,260 DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY POP ANOTHER PILL MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ 855 00:33:33,262 --> 00:33:35,395 POP ANOTHER PILL MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL 856 00:33:35,397 --> 00:33:37,030 MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY 857 00:33:37,032 --> 00:33:38,665 ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY TO LOVE ¶ 858 00:33:38,667 --> 00:33:39,299 YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY TO LOVE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S 859 00:33:39,301 --> 00:33:41,368 TO LOVE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S TOO BROKE ¶ 860 00:33:41,370 --> 00:33:42,436 ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S TOO BROKE ¶ ¶ NOW I KNOW 861 00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:44,071 TOO BROKE ¶ ¶ NOW I KNOW YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' 862 00:33:44,073 --> 00:33:46,773 ¶ NOW I KNOW YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A LIAR ¶ 863 00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:47,841 YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT 864 00:33:47,843 --> 00:33:51,044 BUT A LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE ¶ 865 00:33:51,046 --> 00:33:51,611 ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE ¶ ¶ YEAH THEY TRY TO 866 00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:52,646 OUT THE FIRE ¶ ¶ YEAH THEY TRY TO BRING ME DOWN 867 00:33:52,648 --> 00:33:55,348 ¶ YEAH THEY TRY TO BRING ME DOWN TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ 868 00:33:55,350 --> 00:33:59,686 BRING ME DOWN TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ ¶ I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER 869 00:33:59,688 --> 00:34:01,822 TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ ¶ I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD 870 00:34:01,824 --> 00:34:02,322 ¶ I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M 871 00:34:02,324 --> 00:34:03,423 I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ 872 00:34:03,425 --> 00:34:05,092 IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND 873 00:34:05,094 --> 00:34:08,295 DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ 874 00:34:08,297 --> 00:34:09,930 ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED 875 00:34:09,932 --> 00:34:11,531 BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE 876 00:34:11,533 --> 00:34:13,733 ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ¶ 877 00:34:13,735 --> 00:34:15,902 OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ¶ ¶ LOOK I KNOW 878 00:34:15,904 --> 00:34:18,572 YOU CAN GO ¶ ¶ LOOK I KNOW YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR 879 00:34:18,574 --> 00:34:19,673 ¶ LOOK I KNOW YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR YOU BURNED ME 880 00:34:19,675 --> 00:34:22,409 YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR YOU BURNED ME ONE TOO MANY TIMES ¶ 881 00:34:22,411 --> 00:34:23,477 YOU BURNED ME ONE TOO MANY TIMES ¶ ¶ YOU'RE LIKE THE DEVIL 882 00:34:23,479 --> 00:34:25,078 ONE TOO MANY TIMES ¶ ¶ YOU'RE LIKE THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE 883 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,247 ¶ YOU'RE LIKE THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE HIDING YOUR TRUE COLORS 884 00:34:27,249 --> 00:34:29,449 IN DISGUISE HIDING YOUR TRUE COLORS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ¶ 885 00:34:29,451 --> 00:34:32,119 HIDING YOUR TRUE COLORS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ¶ ¶ KEEP LEADING ME ON 886 00:34:32,121 --> 00:34:34,287 JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ¶ ¶ KEEP LEADING ME ON DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY 887 00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:36,423 ¶ KEEP LEADING ME ON DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY POP ANOTHER PILL 888 00:34:36,425 --> 00:34:38,024 DRINK ANOTHER WHISKEY POP ANOTHER PILL MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ 889 00:34:38,026 --> 00:34:40,760 POP ANOTHER PILL MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL 890 00:34:40,762 --> 00:34:41,828 MONEY MAKES YOU HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY 891 00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:42,896 ¶ HEAVEN ISN'T REAL YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY TO LOVE ¶ 892 00:34:42,898 --> 00:34:43,997 YOU WON'T FIND NOBODY TO LOVE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S 893 00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,099 TO LOVE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S TOO BROKE ¶ 894 00:34:46,101 --> 00:34:47,200 ¶ BECAUSE YOUR HEART'S TOO BROKE ¶ ¶ OH I KNOW 895 00:34:47,202 --> 00:34:48,301 TOO BROKE ¶ ¶ OH I KNOW YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' 896 00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:51,004 ¶ OH I KNOW YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A LIAR ¶ 897 00:34:51,006 --> 00:34:52,639 YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT 898 00:34:52,641 --> 00:34:55,342 BUT A LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE 899 00:34:55,344 --> 00:34:56,409 ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE YEAH THEY TRY TO 900 00:34:56,411 --> 00:34:57,511 OUT THE FIRE YEAH THEY TRY TO BRING ME DOWN ¶ 901 00:34:57,513 --> 00:35:00,213 YEAH THEY TRY TO BRING ME DOWN ¶ ¶ TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND 902 00:35:00,215 --> 00:35:03,984 BRING ME DOWN ¶ ¶ TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER ¶ 903 00:35:03,986 --> 00:35:04,551 ¶ TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER ¶ ¶ I HEAR YOU 904 00:35:04,553 --> 00:35:05,652 I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER ¶ ¶ I HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD 905 00:35:05,654 --> 00:35:06,153 ¶ I HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M 906 00:35:06,155 --> 00:35:08,355 IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ 907 00:35:08,357 --> 00:35:09,990 IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND 908 00:35:09,992 --> 00:35:12,125 DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ 909 00:35:12,127 --> 00:35:14,327 ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW 910 00:35:14,329 --> 00:35:15,395 BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' 911 00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:17,531 ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO 912 00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:21,902 I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO LOOK I KNOW ¶ 913 00:35:21,904 --> 00:35:22,569 YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO LOOK I KNOW ¶ >> TAG OVER AT JACK ON THE 914 00:35:22,571 --> 00:35:23,036 LOOK I KNOW ¶ >> TAG OVER AT JACK ON THE GUITAR TONIGHT. 915 00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:28,475 >> TAG OVER AT JACK ON THE GUITAR TONIGHT. JACK. 916 00:35:28,477 --> 00:35:29,409 GUITAR TONIGHT. JACK. AND WE'RE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT 917 00:35:29,411 --> 00:35:30,911 JACK. AND WE'RE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," BABY! 918 00:35:30,913 --> 00:35:35,749 AND WE'RE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," BABY! ¶¶ 919 00:35:35,751 --> 00:35:36,783 LIVE," BABY! ¶¶ ¶¶ 920 00:35:36,785 --> 00:35:41,154 ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶ IF I WAS DOIN' WHAT YOU DO 921 00:35:41,156 --> 00:35:42,255 ¶¶ ¶ IF I WAS DOIN' WHAT YOU DO THEN YOU WOULD SWEAR 922 00:35:42,257 --> 00:35:44,424 ¶ IF I WAS DOIN' WHAT YOU DO THEN YOU WOULD SWEAR I POISONED YOU ¶ 923 00:35:44,426 --> 00:35:46,059 THEN YOU WOULD SWEAR I POISONED YOU ¶ ¶ YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR 924 00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:47,627 I POISONED YOU ¶ ¶ YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR LIAR ¶ 925 00:35:47,629 --> 00:35:49,196 ¶ YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT 926 00:35:49,198 --> 00:35:49,763 LIAR ¶ ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE 927 00:35:49,765 --> 00:35:52,465 ¶ YEAH I WALK RIGHT OUT THE FIRE FIRE ¶ 928 00:35:52,467 --> 00:35:53,567 OUT THE FIRE FIRE ¶ ¶ YEAH YOU TRY TO 929 00:35:53,569 --> 00:35:54,634 FIRE ¶ ¶ YEAH YOU TRY TO KEEP ME DOWN 930 00:35:54,636 --> 00:35:56,803 ¶ YEAH YOU TRY TO KEEP ME DOWN TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ 931 00:35:56,805 --> 00:36:00,607 KEEP ME DOWN TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ ¶ BUT I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER 932 00:36:00,609 --> 00:36:02,209 TRY TO PUT ME UNDERGROUND ¶ ¶ BUT I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER I HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD 933 00:36:02,211 --> 00:36:02,742 ¶ BUT I'M ONLY GOING HIGHER I HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M 934 00:36:02,744 --> 00:36:04,344 I HEAR YOU IN MY HEAD IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ 935 00:36:04,346 --> 00:36:06,513 IN MY BED WHEN I'M DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND 936 00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:08,648 DREAMIN' ¶ ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ 937 00:36:08,650 --> 00:36:10,283 ¶ YOU TRY TO BE MY FRIEND BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW 938 00:36:10,285 --> 00:36:12,419 BUT YOU'RE BLOWIN' SMOKE ¶ ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' 939 00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:14,521 ¶ OH AND NOW I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ¶ 940 00:36:14,523 --> 00:36:16,690 I AIN'T SCARED OF TELLIN' YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I KNOW 941 00:36:16,692 --> 00:36:21,127 YOU WHERE YOU CAN GO ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR ¶ 942 00:36:21,129 --> 00:36:27,100 ¶ 'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 943 00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:51,141 >> Announcer: IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. 944 00:36:51,143 --> 00:36:59,082 UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 945 00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:00,750 MICHAEL CHE. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 946 00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:03,620 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 947 00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:05,121 >>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." 948 00:37:05,123 --> 00:37:05,622 GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. 949 00:37:05,624 --> 00:37:09,025 >> WELCOME TO "WEEKEND UPDATE." I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. 950 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:10,760 I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. WELL, IT IS OUR FIRST SHOW OF 951 00:37:10,762 --> 00:37:12,629 >> I'M COLIN JOST. WELL, IT IS OUR FIRST SHOW OF THE SEASON, AND THERE WERE SO 952 00:37:12,631 --> 00:37:14,431 WELL, IT IS OUR FIRST SHOW OF THE SEASON, AND THERE WERE SO MANY INSANE POLITICAL STORIES 953 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:16,566 THE SEASON, AND THERE WERE SO MANY INSANE POLITICAL STORIES THIS SUMMER, AND EVERYONE KEPT 954 00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,901 MANY INSANE POLITICAL STORIES THIS SUMMER, AND EVERYONE KEPT ASKING, ARE YOU SO BUMMED YOU 955 00:37:17,903 --> 00:37:19,002 THIS SUMMER, AND EVERYONE KEPT ASKING, ARE YOU SO BUMMED YOU AREN'T ON THE AIR RIGHT NOW. 956 00:37:19,004 --> 00:37:21,304 ASKING, ARE YOU SO BUMMED YOU AREN'T ON THE AIR RIGHT NOW. AND I WAS LIKE, I HAVE A FEELING 957 00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:22,205 AREN'T ON THE AIR RIGHT NOW. AND I WAS LIKE, I HAVE A FEELING THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE THAT 958 00:37:22,207 --> 00:37:24,140 AND I WAS LIKE, I HAVE A FEELING THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE THAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET BACK. 959 00:37:24,142 --> 00:37:27,177 THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE THAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET BACK. FOR EXAMPLE, TWO HOURS AGO, AT A 960 00:37:27,179 --> 00:37:28,812 HAPPENS WHEN WE GET BACK. FOR EXAMPLE, TWO HOURS AGO, AT A RALLY, DONALD TRUMP CALLED 961 00:37:28,814 --> 00:37:30,246 FOR EXAMPLE, TWO HOURS AGO, AT A RALLY, DONALD TRUMP CALLED KAMALA HARRIS, QUOTE, A MENTALLY 962 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,982 RALLY, DONALD TRUMP CALLED KAMALA HARRIS, QUOTE, A MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. 963 00:37:31,984 --> 00:37:35,685 KAMALA HARRIS, QUOTE, A MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. JUST STRAIGHT UP. 964 00:37:35,687 --> 00:37:36,987 DISABLED PERSON. JUST STRAIGHT UP. WHICH IS AMAZING. 965 00:37:36,989 --> 00:37:38,555 JUST STRAIGHT UP. WHICH IS AMAZING. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT TRUMP 966 00:37:38,557 --> 00:37:43,393 WHICH IS AMAZING. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT TRUMP ADMITTED HE LOST THE DEBATE TO A 967 00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:44,361 I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT TRUMP ADMITTED HE LOST THE DEBATE TO A 968 00:37:44,363 --> 00:37:45,395 ADMITTED HE LOST THE DEBATE TO A 969 00:37:46,331 --> 00:37:47,764 MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. 970 00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:49,666 MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. YOU CAN REALLY TELL TRUMP IS 971 00:37:49,668 --> 00:37:51,101 MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. YOU CAN REALLY TELL TRUMP IS WORRIED ABOUT THIS ELECTION 972 00:37:51,103 --> 00:37:52,502 YOU CAN REALLY TELL TRUMP IS WORRIED ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE NOW HE'S JUST LASHING 973 00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:55,905 WORRIED ABOUT THIS ELECTION BECAUSE NOW HE'S JUST LASHING OUT HOPING ANYTHING WILL WORK. 974 00:37:55,907 --> 00:37:56,206 BECAUSE NOW HE'S JUST LASHING OUT HOPING ANYTHING WILL WORK. LOOK. 975 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:57,107 OUT HOPING ANYTHING WILL WORK. LOOK. >> I COULD HAVE BEEN SUN BATHING 976 00:37:57,109 --> 00:37:58,174 LOOK. >> I COULD HAVE BEEN SUN BATHING ON THE BEACH. 977 00:37:58,176 --> 00:38:00,176 >> I COULD HAVE BEEN SUN BATHING ON THE BEACH. YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN A BODY SO 978 00:38:00,178 --> 00:38:00,543 ON THE BEACH. YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN A BODY SO BEAUTIFUL. 979 00:38:00,545 --> 00:38:02,846 YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN A BODY SO BEAUTIFUL. MUCH BETTER THAN SLEEPY JOE. 980 00:38:02,848 --> 00:38:05,648 BEAUTIFUL. MUCH BETTER THAN SLEEPY JOE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 981 00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,584 MUCH BETTER THAN SLEEPY JOE. >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'RE SAYING YOU GOT A HOTTER 982 00:38:07,586 --> 00:38:10,420 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'RE SAYING YOU GOT A HOTTER BODY THAN JOE BIDEN? 983 00:38:10,422 --> 00:38:12,489 YOU'RE SAYING YOU GOT A HOTTER BODY THAN JOE BIDEN? I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT 984 00:38:12,491 --> 00:38:13,690 BODY THAN JOE BIDEN? I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT BULLET GOT A LITTLE MORE THAN 985 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:17,927 I'M STARTING TO WORRY THAT BULLET GOT A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST THE EAR. 986 00:38:17,929 --> 00:38:20,296 BULLET GOT A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST THE EAR. SPEAKING OF, MELANIA TRUMP GAVE 987 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:23,066 JUST THE EAR. SPEAKING OF, MELANIA TRUMP GAVE A RARE TV INTERVIEW THIS WEEK IN 988 00:38:23,068 --> 00:38:25,301 SPEAKING OF, MELANIA TRUMP GAVE A RARE TV INTERVIEW THIS WEEK IN WHICH SHE BLAMED DEMOCRATS FOR 989 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,637 A RARE TV INTERVIEW THIS WEEK IN WHICH SHE BLAMED DEMOCRATS FOR CREATING CONDITIONS THAT LED TO 990 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:30,073 WHICH SHE BLAMED DEMOCRATS FOR CREATING CONDITIONS THAT LED TO TRUMP'S ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, 991 00:38:30,075 --> 00:38:31,441 CREATING CONDITIONS THAT LED TO TRUMP'S ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. 992 00:38:31,443 --> 00:38:34,677 TRUMP'S ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT, WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. WHEN DEMOCRATS WANT TO TAKE OUT 993 00:38:34,679 --> 00:38:36,312 WHICH IS RIDICULOUS. WHEN DEMOCRATS WANT TO TAKE OUT A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, THEY 994 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:37,013 WHEN DEMOCRATS WANT TO TAKE OUT A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, THEY GET THE JOB DONE. 995 00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:40,383 A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, THEY GET THE JOB DONE. >> ON FRIDAY, NEW YORK MAYOR 996 00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:42,052 GET THE JOB DONE. >> ON FRIDAY, NEW YORK MAYOR ERIC ADAMS SURRENDERED TO 997 00:38:42,054 --> 00:38:43,753 >> ON FRIDAY, NEW YORK MAYOR ERIC ADAMS SURRENDERED TO FEDERAL AUTHORITIES AND WAS 998 00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:45,121 ERIC ADAMS SURRENDERED TO FEDERAL AUTHORITIES AND WAS ARRAIGNED ON CORRUPTION AND 999 00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:47,390 FEDERAL AUTHORITIES AND WAS ARRAIGNED ON CORRUPTION AND BRIBERY CHARGES WHEN WHERE HE 1000 00:38:47,392 --> 00:38:48,625 ARRAIGNED ON CORRUPTION AND BRIBERY CHARGES WHEN WHERE HE PLEADED, DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, 1001 00:38:48,627 --> 00:38:50,026 BRIBERY CHARGES WHEN WHERE HE PLEADED, DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME. 1002 00:38:50,028 --> 00:38:51,828 PLEADED, DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME. AFTER ADAMS WAS CHARGED, HE 1003 00:38:51,830 --> 00:38:53,063 HATE THE GAME. AFTER ADAMS WAS CHARGED, HE SAID, WE ARE NOT SURPRISED. 1004 00:38:53,065 --> 00:38:54,264 AFTER ADAMS WAS CHARGED, HE SAID, WE ARE NOT SURPRISED. WE EXPECTED THIS. 1005 00:38:54,266 --> 00:38:54,964 SAID, WE ARE NOT SURPRISED. WE EXPECTED THIS. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF ALL THE 1006 00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:57,500 WE EXPECTED THIS. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF ALL THE BRIBERY. 1007 00:38:57,502 --> 00:39:00,403 YOU KNOW, BECAUSE OF ALL THE BRIBERY. FORMER NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW 1008 00:39:00,405 --> 00:39:02,138 BRIBERY. FORMER NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO IS REPORTEDLY ALREADY 1009 00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:04,007 FORMER NEW YORK GOVERNOR ANDREW CUOMO IS REPORTEDLY ALREADY INTERESTED IN RUNNING FOR MAYOR. 1010 00:39:04,009 --> 00:39:05,475 CUOMO IS REPORTEDLY ALREADY INTERESTED IN RUNNING FOR MAYOR. DAMN, HE MOVES FASTER THAN KOBE 1011 00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:11,748 INTERESTED IN RUNNING FOR MAYOR. DAMN, HE MOVES FASTER THAN KOBE THROUGH A NURSING HOME. 1012 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,917 DAMN, HE MOVES FASTER THAN KOBE THROUGH A NURSING HOME. >> A SENATE REPORT ON THE FIRST 1013 00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:15,251 THROUGH A NURSING HOME. >> A SENATE REPORT ON THE FIRST TRUMP ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT SAYS 1014 00:39:15,253 --> 00:39:18,788 >> A SENATE REPORT ON THE FIRST TRUMP ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT SAYS ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES WERE 1015 00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:20,890 TRUMP ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT SAYS ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES WERE TECHNICAL PROBLEMS, INCLUDING 1016 00:39:20,892 --> 00:39:21,558 ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES WERE TECHNICAL PROBLEMS, INCLUDING DELAYS IN EMAILS AFTER THE 1017 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,426 TECHNICAL PROBLEMS, INCLUDING DELAYS IN EMAILS AFTER THE SNIPER WAS SPOTTED. 1018 00:39:23,428 --> 00:39:23,760 DELAYS IN EMAILS AFTER THE SNIPER WAS SPOTTED. EMAILS. 1019 00:39:23,762 --> 00:39:26,763 SNIPER WAS SPOTTED. EMAILS. WHO SEES AN ASSASSIN AND IS 1020 00:39:26,765 --> 00:39:30,166 EMAILS. WHO SEES AN ASSASSIN AND IS LIKE, I BETTER OPEN OUTLOOK? 1021 00:39:30,168 --> 00:39:32,469 WHO SEES AN ASSASSIN AND IS LIKE, I BETTER OPEN OUTLOOK? HEY, SORRY FOR THE MASS EMAIL, 1022 00:39:32,471 --> 00:39:33,736 LIKE, I BETTER OPEN OUTLOOK? HEY, SORRY FOR THE MASS EMAIL, BUT THERE'S A SNIPER ON THE 1023 00:39:33,738 --> 00:39:34,037 HEY, SORRY FOR THE MASS EMAIL, BUT THERE'S A SNIPER ON THE ROOF. 1024 00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:40,243 BUT THERE'S A SNIPER ON THE ROOF. PLEASE RESPOND BY END OF DAY. 1025 00:39:40,245 --> 00:39:41,978 ROOF. PLEASE RESPOND BY END OF DAY. ALSO SAYS THERE WERE DELAYS IN 1026 00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:43,346 PLEASE RESPOND BY END OF DAY. ALSO SAYS THERE WERE DELAYS IN TEXTS AFTER SPOTTING THE SNIPER 1027 00:39:43,348 --> 00:39:46,049 ALSO SAYS THERE WERE DELAYS IN TEXTS AFTER SPOTTING THE SNIPER LIKE THIS ONE THAT READ, LOL, 1028 00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:46,483 TEXTS AFTER SPOTTING THE SNIPER LIKE THIS ONE THAT READ, LOL, JUST SAW THIS. 1029 00:39:46,485 --> 00:39:51,254 LIKE THIS ONE THAT READ, LOL, JUST SAW THIS. SORRY, WHICH ROOF? 1030 00:39:51,256 --> 00:39:52,956 JUST SAW THIS. SORRY, WHICH ROOF? #MERCURY IN RETRO GRADE. 1031 00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:58,361 SORRY, WHICH ROOF? #MERCURY IN RETRO GRADE. >> KAMALA HARRIS RELEASED AN 1032 00:39:58,363 --> 00:39:59,028 #MERCURY IN RETRO GRADE. >> KAMALA HARRIS RELEASED AN 81-PAGE BOOK OUTLINING HER 1033 00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,163 >> KAMALA HARRIS RELEASED AN 81-PAGE BOOK OUTLINING HER ECONOMIC POLICY BECAUSE YOU KNOW 1034 00:40:00,165 --> 00:40:04,801 81-PAGE BOOK OUTLINING HER ECONOMIC POLICY BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN LIKE TO GO ON AND ON. 1035 00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:08,471 ECONOMIC POLICY BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN LIKE TO GO ON AND ON. >> DURING A CAMPAIGN STOP AT A 1036 00:40:08,473 --> 00:40:09,639 HOW WOMEN LIKE TO GO ON AND ON. >> DURING A CAMPAIGN STOP AT A PENNSYLVANIA SUPERMARKET, DONALD 1037 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:11,474 >> DURING A CAMPAIGN STOP AT A PENNSYLVANIA SUPERMARKET, DONALD TRUMP GAVE A WOMAN BUYING 1038 00:40:11,476 --> 00:40:13,910 PENNSYLVANIA SUPERMARKET, DONALD TRUMP GAVE A WOMAN BUYING GROCERIES $100 BECAUSE AT THIS 1039 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:15,445 TRUMP GAVE A WOMAN BUYING GROCERIES $100 BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, HIS KNEE JERK REACTION TO 1040 00:40:15,447 --> 00:40:16,146 GROCERIES $100 BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, HIS KNEE JERK REACTION TO SEEING A WOMAN IS TO PAY HER 1041 00:40:16,148 --> 00:40:22,585 POINT, HIS KNEE JERK REACTION TO SEEING A WOMAN IS TO PAY HER OFF. 1042 00:40:22,587 --> 00:40:24,454 SEEING A WOMAN IS TO PAY HER OFF. ON FRIDAY, VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS 1043 00:40:24,456 --> 00:40:25,855 OFF. ON FRIDAY, VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS TRAVELED TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER 1044 00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:27,924 ON FRIDAY, VICE-PRESIDENT HARRIS TRAVELED TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER WHERE SHE ATTACKED TRUMP FOR HIS 1045 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,859 TRAVELED TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER WHERE SHE ATTACKED TRUMP FOR HIS ROLE IN PREVENTING A 1046 00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:31,461 WHERE SHE ATTACKED TRUMP FOR HIS ROLE IN PREVENTING A CONGRESSIONAL BORDER DEAL, BUT 1047 00:40:31,463 --> 00:40:32,996 ROLE IN PREVENTING A CONGRESSIONAL BORDER DEAL, BUT IT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD THAT DURING 1048 00:40:32,998 --> 00:40:35,832 CONGRESSIONAL BORDER DEAL, BUT IT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD THAT DURING HER SPEECH, 30 MIGRANTS SNUCK IN 1049 00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,067 IT DIDN'T LOOK GOOD THAT DURING HER SPEECH, 30 MIGRANTS SNUCK IN BEHIND HER, AND EVEN WORSE, SHE 1050 00:40:38,069 --> 00:40:43,373 HER SPEECH, 30 MIGRANTS SNUCK IN BEHIND HER, AND EVEN WORSE, SHE HANDED EVERY ONE OF THEM A VOTER 1051 00:40:43,375 --> 00:40:43,907 BEHIND HER, AND EVEN WORSE, SHE HANDED EVERY ONE OF THEM A VOTER REGISTRATION FORM. 1052 00:40:43,909 --> 00:40:46,442 HANDED EVERY ONE OF THEM A VOTER REGISTRATION FORM. >> THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION HAS 1053 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:50,413 REGISTRATION FORM. >> THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION HAS PROPOSED BANNING THE CHINESE-MAD 1054 00:40:50,415 --> 00:40:54,150 >> THE BIDEN ADMINISTRATION HAS PROPOSED BANNING THE CHINESE-MAD CAR SOFTWARE, WHICH IS ALMOST AS 1055 00:40:54,152 --> 00:40:56,586 PROPOSED BANNING THE CHINESE-MAD CAR SOFTWARE, WHICH IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS BANNING CHINESE DRIVERS. 1056 00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:58,688 CAR SOFTWARE, WHICH IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS BANNING CHINESE DRIVERS. THE '90s, MAN, YOU REMEMBER? 1057 00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:00,089 GOOD AS BANNING CHINESE DRIVERS. THE '90s, MAN, YOU REMEMBER? >> DONALD TRUMP SAID THIS WEEK 1058 00:41:00,091 --> 00:41:02,225 THE '90s, MAN, YOU REMEMBER? >> DONALD TRUMP SAID THIS WEEK THAT AMERICANS WILL TRAVEL TO 1059 00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:03,026 >> DONALD TRUMP SAID THIS WEEK THAT AMERICANS WILL TRAVEL TO MARS IN HIS NEXT TERM. 1060 00:41:03,028 --> 00:41:08,898 THAT AMERICANS WILL TRAVEL TO MARS IN HIS NEXT TERM. PROBABLY TO GET AN ABORTION. 1061 00:41:08,900 --> 00:41:10,867 MARS IN HIS NEXT TERM. PROBABLY TO GET AN ABORTION. >> AN ATTORNEY FOR DIDDY SAID 1062 00:41:10,869 --> 00:41:12,936 PROBABLY TO GET AN ABORTION. >> AN ATTORNEY FOR DIDDY SAID HIS CLIENT WANTS TO TESTIFY AT 1063 00:41:12,938 --> 00:41:14,170 >> AN ATTORNEY FOR DIDDY SAID HIS CLIENT WANTS TO TESTIFY AT HIS TRIAL, SAYING I DON'T KNOW 1064 00:41:14,172 --> 00:41:16,139 HIS CLIENT WANTS TO TESTIFY AT HIS TRIAL, SAYING I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN KEEP HIM OFF THE 1065 00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:16,439 HIS TRIAL, SAYING I DON'T KNOW THAT I CAN KEEP HIM OFF THE STAND. 1066 00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:17,707 THAT I CAN KEEP HIM OFF THE STAND. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HOLD A GUY 1067 00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:22,412 STAND. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HOLD A GUY BACK WEARING ALL THAT BABY OIL. 1068 00:41:22,414 --> 00:41:24,013 BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HOLD A GUY BACK WEARING ALL THAT BABY OIL. IT'S THE '90s. 1069 00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:26,916 BACK WEARING ALL THAT BABY OIL. IT'S THE '90s. >> SEAN COMBS' DEFENSE ATTORNEY 1070 00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:29,118 IT'S THE '90s. >> SEAN COMBS' DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALSO ARGUED HIS CLIENT IS NOT 1071 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,620 >> SEAN COMBS' DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALSO ARGUED HIS CLIENT IS NOT LIKE R. KELLY. 1072 00:41:30,622 --> 00:41:31,988 ALSO ARGUED HIS CLIENT IS NOT LIKE R. KELLY. FIRST OF ALL, NEVER A GREAT SIGN 1073 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,389 LIKE R. KELLY. FIRST OF ALL, NEVER A GREAT SIGN WHEN THE FIRST PERSON YOU 1074 00:41:33,391 --> 00:41:35,425 FIRST OF ALL, NEVER A GREAT SIGN WHEN THE FIRST PERSON YOU COMPARE YOUR CLIENT TO IS R. 1075 00:41:35,427 --> 00:41:35,725 WHEN THE FIRST PERSON YOU COMPARE YOUR CLIENT TO IS R. KELLY. 1076 00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:37,694 COMPARE YOUR CLIENT TO IS R. KELLY. I HAVE TO AGREE, IT'S TRUE. 1077 00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:39,662 KELLY. I HAVE TO AGREE, IT'S TRUE. DIDDY IS NOTHING LIKE R. KELLY. 1078 00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:40,530 I HAVE TO AGREE, IT'S TRUE. DIDDY IS NOTHING LIKE R. KELLY. I MEAN, R. KELLY'S SONGS ARE 1079 00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:43,700 DIDDY IS NOTHING LIKE R. KELLY. I MEAN, R. KELLY'S SONGS ARE GOOD. 1080 00:41:43,702 --> 00:41:49,105 I MEAN, R. KELLY'S SONGS ARE GOOD. >> SENATOR RAPHAEL WAR KNACK 1081 00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:51,441 GOOD. >> SENATOR RAPHAEL WAR KNACK CRITICIZED MARK ROBINSON CALLED 1082 00:41:51,443 --> 00:41:52,976 >> SENATOR RAPHAEL WAR KNACK CRITICIZED MARK ROBINSON CALLED HIM CHIET SUPREMACY AND BLACK 1083 00:41:52,978 --> 00:41:59,282 CRITICIZED MARK ROBINSON CALLED HIM CHIET SUPREMACY AND BLACK FACE, WHICH IS ALSO THE NAME OF 1084 00:41:59,284 --> 00:41:59,782 HIM CHIET SUPREMACY AND BLACK FACE, WHICH IS ALSO THE NAME OF COLIN'S SPECIAL. 1085 00:41:59,784 --> 00:42:06,322 FACE, WHICH IS ALSO THE NAME OF COLIN'S SPECIAL. >> HODA KOTB ANNOUNCED SHE IS 1086 00:42:06,324 --> 00:42:08,024 COLIN'S SPECIAL. >> HODA KOTB ANNOUNCED SHE IS LEAVING THE TODAY SHOW AND SHE 1087 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:10,260 >> HODA KOTB ANNOUNCED SHE IS LEAVING THE TODAY SHOW AND SHE WILL REMEMBER HER TIME FONDLY 1088 00:42:10,262 --> 00:42:11,461 LEAVING THE TODAY SHOW AND SHE WILL REMEMBER HER TIME FONDLY AND NOT ALL ALL. 1089 00:42:11,463 --> 00:42:15,164 WILL REMEMBER HER TIME FONDLY AND NOT ALL ALL. SHE WILL BE REPLACED BY -- OH, 1090 00:42:15,166 --> 00:42:20,036 AND NOT ALL ALL. SHE WILL BE REPLACED BY -- OH, NO, MATT LAURBY. 1091 00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:23,606 SHE WILL BE REPLACED BY -- OH, NO, MATT LAURBY. >> MAYOR ADAMS WAS INDICTED ON 1092 00:42:23,608 --> 00:42:24,974 NO, MATT LAURBY. >> MAYOR ADAMS WAS INDICTED ON BRIBERY AND WIRE FRAUD THIS 1093 00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:25,275 >> MAYOR ADAMS WAS INDICTED ON BRIBERY AND WIRE FRAUD THIS WEEK. 1094 00:42:25,277 --> 00:42:28,244 BRIBERY AND WIRE FRAUD THIS WEEK. THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY OF NEW 1095 00:42:28,246 --> 00:42:29,512 WEEK. THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY OF NEW YORK THAT A MAYOR HAS BEEN 1096 00:42:29,514 --> 00:42:29,879 THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY OF NEW YORK THAT A MAYOR HAS BEEN INDICTED. 1097 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:30,613 YORK THAT A MAYOR HAS BEEN INDICTED. HERE TO COMMENT IS MAYOR ERIC 1098 00:42:30,615 --> 00:42:34,217 INDICTED. HERE TO COMMENT IS MAYOR ERIC ADAMS. 1099 00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:37,053 HERE TO COMMENT IS MAYOR ERIC ADAMS. >> MICHAEL CHE, LOOK AT US, MAN, 1100 00:42:37,055 --> 00:42:38,554 ADAMS. >> MICHAEL CHE, LOOK AT US, MAN, TWO NEW YORK CITY LEGENDS. 1101 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:39,222 >> MICHAEL CHE, LOOK AT US, MAN, TWO NEW YORK CITY LEGENDS. LET'S GO! 1102 00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:42,025 TWO NEW YORK CITY LEGENDS. LET'S GO! >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, MAN. 1103 00:42:42,027 --> 00:42:42,859 LET'S GO! >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, MAN. BUT THANK YOU. 1104 00:42:42,861 --> 00:42:43,893 >> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, MAN. BUT THANK YOU. HOW YOU FEELING? 1105 00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:45,495 BUT THANK YOU. HOW YOU FEELING? >> I'M FEELING RELIEVED. 1106 00:42:45,497 --> 00:42:47,497 HOW YOU FEELING? >> I'M FEELING RELIEVED. >> REALLY? 1107 00:42:47,499 --> 00:42:47,997 >> I'M FEELING RELIEVED. >> REALLY? >> NO. 1108 00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:50,600 >> REALLY? >> NO. BUT I AM FEELING DETERMINED. 1109 00:42:50,602 --> 00:42:50,967 >> NO. BUT I AM FEELING DETERMINED. ALL RIGHT? 1110 00:42:50,969 --> 00:42:51,868 BUT I AM FEELING DETERMINED. ALL RIGHT? I AM AN INNOCENT MAN. 1111 00:42:51,870 --> 00:42:54,737 ALL RIGHT? I AM AN INNOCENT MAN. I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, MICHAEL. 1112 00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:57,206 I AM AN INNOCENT MAN. I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, MICHAEL. MY FINGERS ARE STEEPLED, MY 1113 00:42:57,208 --> 00:43:01,311 I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, MICHAEL. MY FINGERS ARE STEEPLED, MY SMILE IS OPTIMISTIC, AND MY 1114 00:43:01,313 --> 00:43:02,879 MY FINGERS ARE STEEPLED, MY SMILE IS OPTIMISTIC, AND MY VOCABULARY IS EFFICIENT. 1115 00:43:02,881 --> 00:43:04,480 SMILE IS OPTIMISTIC, AND MY VOCABULARY IS EFFICIENT. GOT MY EARRING ON BLOW. 1116 00:43:04,482 --> 00:43:06,649 VOCABULARY IS EFFICIENT. GOT MY EARRING ON BLOW. MY ARM IS MUSCLING OUT THE 1117 00:43:06,651 --> 00:43:08,818 GOT MY EARRING ON BLOW. MY ARM IS MUSCLING OUT THE SHIRT, MY BRACELET IS JANG LING. 1118 00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:11,254 MY ARM IS MUSCLING OUT THE SHIRT, MY BRACELET IS JANG LING. DO I LOOK GUILTY TO YOU? 1119 00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:11,754 SHIRT, MY BRACELET IS JANG LING. DO I LOOK GUILTY TO YOU? >> YEAH, KIND OF. 1120 00:43:11,756 --> 00:43:13,056 DO I LOOK GUILTY TO YOU? >> YEAH, KIND OF. >> I SPENT EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH 1121 00:43:13,058 --> 00:43:15,358 >> YEAH, KIND OF. >> I SPENT EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH THE WORKING PEOPLE OF THIS CITY. 1122 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,593 >> I SPENT EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH THE WORKING PEOPLE OF THIS CITY. I WRITE THE DANCES, THE BOTTLE 1123 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,762 THE WORKING PEOPLE OF THIS CITY. I WRITE THE DANCES, THE BOTTLE GIRLS, FAT JOE, AND THEY SAY THE 1124 00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:20,263 I WRITE THE DANCES, THE BOTTLE GIRLS, FAT JOE, AND THEY SAY THE SAME THING. 1125 00:43:20,265 --> 00:43:22,765 GIRLS, FAT JOE, AND THEY SAY THE SAME THING. THEY SAY, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING 1126 00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:24,767 SAME THING. THEY SAY, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING SWAGGER BACK TO THE CITY. 1127 00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:26,602 THEY SAY, THANK YOU FOR BRINGING SWAGGER BACK TO THE CITY. WHAT WAS ONCE A SWAGLESS DUMP IS 1128 00:43:26,604 --> 00:43:30,106 SWAGGER BACK TO THE CITY. WHAT WAS ONCE A SWAGLESS DUMP IS NOW A SWAGTROPOLIS. 1129 00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:30,807 WHAT WAS ONCE A SWAGLESS DUMP IS NOW A SWAGTROPOLIS. WITH SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CRIME 1130 00:43:30,809 --> 00:43:34,911 NOW A SWAGTROPOLIS. WITH SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CRIME THAN BEFORE. 1131 00:43:34,913 --> 00:43:36,979 WITH SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CRIME THAN BEFORE. >> WASN'T YOUR WHOLE PLATFORM TO 1132 00:43:36,981 --> 00:43:38,081 THAN BEFORE. >> WASN'T YOUR WHOLE PLATFORM TO GET CRIME OFF THE STREETS. 1133 00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:39,482 >> WASN'T YOUR WHOLE PLATFORM TO GET CRIME OFF THE STREETS. >> AND I DID. 1134 00:43:39,484 --> 00:43:41,751 GET CRIME OFF THE STREETS. >> AND I DID. I GOT CRIME OFF THE STREETS AND 1135 00:43:41,753 --> 00:43:44,554 >> AND I DID. I GOT CRIME OFF THE STREETS AND ON TO THE SIDEWALK AND SUBWAY. 1136 00:43:44,556 --> 00:43:46,022 I GOT CRIME OFF THE STREETS AND ON TO THE SIDEWALK AND SUBWAY. I WAS ALSO THE FIRST MAYOR TO 1137 00:43:46,024 --> 00:43:47,590 ON TO THE SIDEWALK AND SUBWAY. I WAS ALSO THE FIRST MAYOR TO GET OUT OF THE OFFICE AND INTO 1138 00:43:47,592 --> 00:43:49,125 I WAS ALSO THE FIRST MAYOR TO GET OUT OF THE OFFICE AND INTO THE VIP. 1139 00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:52,061 GET OUT OF THE OFFICE AND INTO THE VIP. YOU KNOW WHERE WE HANG OUT, 1140 00:43:52,063 --> 00:43:52,495 THE VIP. YOU KNOW WHERE WE HANG OUT, MICHAEL CHE. 1141 00:43:52,497 --> 00:43:53,629 YOU KNOW WHERE WE HANG OUT, MICHAEL CHE. >> WE DON'T HANG OUT. 1142 00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:58,401 MICHAEL CHE. >> WE DON'T HANG OUT. >> LOOK, THE INTERNET WOULD HAVE 1143 00:43:58,403 --> 00:43:59,936 >> WE DON'T HANG OUT. >> LOOK, THE INTERNET WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE DONE 1144 00:43:59,938 --> 00:44:00,470 >> LOOK, THE INTERNET WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE DONE NOTHING AS A MAYOR. 1145 00:44:00,472 --> 00:44:02,238 YOU BELIEVE THAT I HAVE DONE NOTHING AS A MAYOR. I DID THAT LITTLE POLICE ROBOT, 1146 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:02,505 NOTHING AS A MAYOR. I DID THAT LITTLE POLICE ROBOT, BOW. 1147 00:44:02,507 --> 00:44:04,307 I DID THAT LITTLE POLICE ROBOT, BOW. I INVENTED THE TRASH CAN, BANG. 1148 00:44:04,309 --> 00:44:06,242 BOW. I INVENTED THE TRASH CAN, BANG. ALSO I DECLARED WAR ON THE RATS, 1149 00:44:06,244 --> 00:44:08,611 I INVENTED THE TRASH CAN, BANG. ALSO I DECLARED WAR ON THE RATS, AND YES, THE RATS ARE PRESENTLY 1150 00:44:08,613 --> 00:44:10,079 ALSO I DECLARED WAR ON THE RATS, AND YES, THE RATS ARE PRESENTLY WINNING, BUT THE GAME AIN'T 1151 00:44:10,081 --> 00:44:10,913 AND YES, THE RATS ARE PRESENTLY WINNING, BUT THE GAME AIN'T OVER, BABY. 1152 00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,882 WINNING, BUT THE GAME AIN'T OVER, BABY. YEAH, I DID A WHOLE LOT OF 1153 00:44:12,884 --> 00:44:17,887 OVER, BABY. YEAH, I DID A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS. 1154 00:44:17,889 --> 00:44:18,588 YEAH, I DID A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS. WE BOTH DID, HUH, MICHAEL CHE? 1155 00:44:18,590 --> 00:44:19,489 THINGS. WE BOTH DID, HUH, MICHAEL CHE? >> NO, WE DID NOT. 1156 00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:22,925 WE BOTH DID, HUH, MICHAEL CHE? >> NO, WE DID NOT. HOWEVER, YOU DID THINGS FOR THE 1157 00:44:22,927 --> 00:44:24,560 >> NO, WE DID NOT. HOWEVER, YOU DID THINGS FOR THE TURKISH GOVERNMENT EXCHANGE FOR 1158 00:44:24,562 --> 00:44:25,094 HOWEVER, YOU DID THINGS FOR THE TURKISH GOVERNMENT EXCHANGE FOR EXPENSIVE TRIPS. 1159 00:44:25,096 --> 00:44:27,096 TURKISH GOVERNMENT EXCHANGE FOR EXPENSIVE TRIPS. >> SO YOU WANT YOUR MAYOR IN 1160 00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:29,632 EXPENSIVE TRIPS. >> SO YOU WANT YOUR MAYOR IN COACH WITH MY LEGS ALL CRAMPED 1161 00:44:29,634 --> 00:44:31,134 >> SO YOU WANT YOUR MAYOR IN COACH WITH MY LEGS ALL CRAMPED AND MY MOUTH ALL DRY? 1162 00:44:31,136 --> 00:44:32,568 COACH WITH MY LEGS ALL CRAMPED AND MY MOUTH ALL DRY? THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT? 1163 00:44:32,570 --> 00:44:34,370 AND MY MOUTH ALL DRY? THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT? NEW YORK CITY NEEDS ME IN FIRST 1164 00:44:34,372 --> 00:44:36,973 THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT? NEW YORK CITY NEEDS ME IN FIRST CLASS, SHOES OFF, TIE, OFF, 1165 00:44:36,975 --> 00:44:37,607 NEW YORK CITY NEEDS ME IN FIRST CLASS, SHOES OFF, TIE, OFF, BRACELETS, ON. 1166 00:44:37,609 --> 00:44:41,711 CLASS, SHOES OFF, TIE, OFF, BRACELETS, ON. GETTING MY SHOULDERS RUBBED BY A 1167 00:44:41,713 --> 00:44:43,246 BRACELETS, ON. GETTING MY SHOULDERS RUBBED BY A NICE TURKISH LADY. 1168 00:44:43,248 --> 00:44:44,147 GETTING MY SHOULDERS RUBBED BY A NICE TURKISH LADY. THANK YOU, BABY. 1169 00:44:44,149 --> 00:44:45,348 NICE TURKISH LADY. THANK YOU, BABY. >> BUT WHY? 1170 00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:46,315 THANK YOU, BABY. >> BUT WHY? WHY TURKEY? 1171 00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:47,216 >> BUT WHY? WHY TURKEY? >> TWO WORDS, MICHAEL. 1172 00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:49,952 WHY TURKEY? >> TWO WORDS, MICHAEL. GOBBLE GOBBLE. 1173 00:44:49,954 --> 00:44:52,488 >> TWO WORDS, MICHAEL. GOBBLE GOBBLE. I LOVE ME SOME TURKEY, MAN. 1174 00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:54,257 GOBBLE GOBBLE. I LOVE ME SOME TURKEY, MAN. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A TURKEY 1175 00:44:54,259 --> 00:44:54,590 I LOVE ME SOME TURKEY, MAN. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A TURKEY DELIGHT? 1176 00:44:54,592 --> 00:44:59,162 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A TURKEY DELIGHT? IT'S A BRIEFCASE WITH $100,000 1177 00:44:59,164 --> 00:45:00,496 DELIGHT? IT'S A BRIEFCASE WITH $100,000 IN IT. 1178 00:45:00,498 --> 00:45:01,664 IT'S A BRIEFCASE WITH $100,000 IN IT. I BE EATING THAT. 1179 00:45:01,666 --> 00:45:03,232 IN IT. I BE EATING THAT. >> THAT SOUNDS REALLY ILLEGAL. 1180 00:45:03,234 --> 00:45:04,467 I BE EATING THAT. >> THAT SOUNDS REALLY ILLEGAL. >> IT'S FINE, MAN. 1181 00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:07,203 >> THAT SOUNDS REALLY ILLEGAL. >> IT'S FINE, MAN. DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH. 1182 00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:09,572 >> IT'S FINE, MAN. DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH. JUST KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS, 1183 00:45:09,574 --> 00:45:12,875 DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH. JUST KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS, I WILL NOT SNITCH ON YOU. 1184 00:45:12,877 --> 00:45:14,210 JUST KNOW THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS, I WILL NOT SNITCH ON YOU. >> WE ARE NOT FRIENDS, MAN. 1185 00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:15,745 I WILL NOT SNITCH ON YOU. >> WE ARE NOT FRIENDS, MAN. >> WE ARE FRIENDS AND WE ARE NEW 1186 00:45:15,747 --> 00:45:16,112 >> WE ARE NOT FRIENDS, MAN. >> WE ARE FRIENDS AND WE ARE NEW YORKERS. 1187 00:45:16,114 --> 00:45:17,480 >> WE ARE FRIENDS AND WE ARE NEW YORKERS. >> DON'T YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY? 1188 00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:20,249 YORKERS. >> DON'T YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY? >> I LIVE IN THE SKIES. 1189 00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:21,918 >> DON'T YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY? >> I LIVE IN THE SKIES. TURKISH AIRLINES, BECAUSE YOU 1190 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,853 >> I LIVE IN THE SKIES. TURKISH AIRLINES, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SAFE ON THE SUBWAY. 1191 00:45:23,855 --> 00:45:25,254 TURKISH AIRLINES, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SAFE ON THE SUBWAY. >> MAYOR ADAMS, EVERYBODY. 1192 00:45:25,256 --> 00:45:26,355 ARE NOT SAFE ON THE SUBWAY. >> MAYOR ADAMS, EVERYBODY. >> HEY, FREE DIDDY. 1193 00:45:26,357 --> 00:45:33,396 >> MAYOR ADAMS, EVERYBODY. >> HEY, FREE DIDDY. FREE DIDDY. 1194 00:45:33,398 --> 00:45:35,364 >> HEY, FREE DIDDY. FREE DIDDY. >> ACTRESS MERYL STREEP SPOKE AT 1195 00:45:35,366 --> 00:45:37,200 FREE DIDDY. >> ACTRESS MERYL STREEP SPOKE AT THE U.N. AND WARNED THAT A CAT 1196 00:45:37,202 --> 00:45:39,368 >> ACTRESS MERYL STREEP SPOKE AT THE U.N. AND WARNED THAT A CAT HAS MORE FREEDOM IN AFGHANISTAN 1197 00:45:39,370 --> 00:45:41,504 THE U.N. AND WARNED THAT A CAT HAS MORE FREEDOM IN AFGHANISTAN THAN A WOMAN DOES, WHICH RAISES 1198 00:45:41,506 --> 00:45:42,271 HAS MORE FREEDOM IN AFGHANISTAN THAN A WOMAN DOES, WHICH RAISES AN IMPORTANT QUESTION, WHAT IS 1199 00:45:42,273 --> 00:45:46,642 THAN A WOMAN DOES, WHICH RAISES AN IMPORTANT QUESTION, WHAT IS THE U.N.? 1200 00:45:46,644 --> 00:45:51,147 AN IMPORTANT QUESTION, WHAT IS THE U.N.? >> ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, 1201 00:45:51,149 --> 00:45:52,448 THE U.N.? >> ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, SCIENTISTS NOW BELIEVE THEY HAVE 1202 00:45:52,450 --> 00:45:54,350 >> ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, SCIENTISTS NOW BELIEVE THEY HAVE PIN POINTED WHERE THE ASTEROID 1203 00:45:54,352 --> 00:45:55,852 SCIENTISTS NOW BELIEVE THEY HAVE PIN POINTED WHERE THE ASTEROID THAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS CAME 1204 00:45:55,854 --> 00:45:56,152 PIN POINTED WHERE THE ASTEROID THAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS CAME FROM. 1205 00:45:56,154 --> 00:46:01,324 THAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS CAME FROM. SPACE. 1206 00:46:01,326 --> 00:46:01,991 FROM. SPACE. I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD BE 1207 00:46:01,993 --> 00:46:06,195 SPACE. I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD BE MORE -- WHATEVER. 1208 00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:10,132 I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WOULD BE MORE -- WHATEVER. A NEW SHOW ABOUT CONVICTED 1209 00:46:10,134 --> 00:46:14,570 MORE -- WHATEVER. A NEW SHOW ABOUT CONVICTED MURDERERS THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS 1210 00:46:14,572 --> 00:46:20,076 A NEW SHOW ABOUT CONVICTED MURDERERS THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS SAYS THE BROTHERS HAD AN 1211 00:46:20,078 --> 00:46:20,877 MURDERERS THE MENENDEZ BROTHERS SAYS THE BROTHERS HAD AN INCESTOUS RELATIONSHIP. 1212 00:46:20,879 --> 00:46:22,845 SAYS THE BROTHERS HAD AN INCESTOUS RELATIONSHIP. SAID THE BROTHERS, WE'RE JUST 1213 00:46:22,847 --> 00:46:25,982 INCESTOUS RELATIONSHIP. SAID THE BROTHERS, WE'RE JUST GLAD OUR PARENTS AREN'T AROUND 1214 00:46:25,984 --> 00:46:26,582 SAID THE BROTHERS, WE'RE JUST GLAD OUR PARENTS AREN'T AROUND TO SEE THIS. 1215 00:46:26,584 --> 00:46:34,891 GLAD OUR PARENTS AREN'T AROUND TO SEE THIS. >> THIS WEEK, MARK ZUCKERBERG 1216 00:46:34,893 --> 00:46:36,259 TO SEE THIS. >> THIS WEEK, MARK ZUCKERBERG 1217 00:46:36,261 --> 00:46:37,894 >> THIS WEEK, MARK ZUCKERBERG 1218 00:46:37,896 --> 00:46:41,864 DEMONSTRATED META'S NEW ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE GLASSES. 1219 00:46:41,866 --> 00:46:43,933 DEMONSTRATED META'S NEW ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE GLASSES. EXPLAINED ZUCKERBERG, BANANA. 1220 00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:46,702 ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE GLASSES. EXPLAINED ZUCKERBERG, BANANA. >> A FAMILY REPORTED THEIR PET 1221 00:46:46,704 --> 00:46:49,238 EXPLAINED ZUCKERBERG, BANANA. >> A FAMILY REPORTED THEIR PET CAT WHICH WENT MISSING IN 1222 00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,339 >> A FAMILY REPORTED THEIR PET CAT WHICH WENT MISSING IN "YELLOWSTONE" NATIONAL PARK TWO 1223 00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:52,441 CAT WHICH WENT MISSING IN "YELLOWSTONE" NATIONAL PARK TWO MONTHS AGO REAPPEARED AT THEIR 1224 00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:56,012 "YELLOWSTONE" NATIONAL PARK TWO MONTHS AGO REAPPEARED AT THEIR HOME 800 MILES AWAY AFTER BEING 1225 00:46:56,014 --> 00:46:56,712 MONTHS AGO REAPPEARED AT THEIR HOME 800 MILES AWAY AFTER BEING CHASED BY A MOB OF HUNGRY 1226 00:46:56,714 --> 00:46:58,714 HOME 800 MILES AWAY AFTER BEING CHASED BY A MOB OF HUNGRY HAITIANS. 1227 00:46:58,716 --> 00:47:03,819 CHASED BY A MOB OF HUNGRY HAITIANS. >> I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT. 1228 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,388 HAITIANS. >> I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT. ASTRONOMERS SAY AN ASTEROID THE 1229 00:47:05,390 --> 00:47:07,323 >> I'M GLAD YOU SAID IT. ASTRONOMERS SAY AN ASTEROID THE SIZE OF A SCHOOL BUS WILL SOON 1230 00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,825 ASTRONOMERS SAY AN ASTEROID THE SIZE OF A SCHOOL BUS WILL SOON ENTER EARTH'S ORBIT TEMPORARILY 1231 00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:12,228 SIZE OF A SCHOOL BUS WILL SOON ENTER EARTH'S ORBIT TEMPORARILY BECOMING A NEW MINI MOON AND 1232 00:47:12,230 --> 00:47:13,262 ENTER EARTH'S ORBIT TEMPORARILY BECOMING A NEW MINI MOON AND MAKING OUR MOON LOOK LIKE AN OLD 1233 00:47:13,264 --> 00:47:17,199 BECOMING A NEW MINI MOON AND MAKING OUR MOON LOOK LIKE AN OLD FAT BITCH. 1234 00:47:17,201 --> 00:47:20,903 MAKING OUR MOON LOOK LIKE AN OLD FAT BITCH. >> I DIDN'T KNOW WE COULD DO 1235 00:47:20,905 --> 00:47:21,203 FAT BITCH. >> I DIDN'T KNOW WE COULD DO THAT. 1236 00:47:21,205 --> 00:47:24,640 >> I DIDN'T KNOW WE COULD DO THAT. A COUPLE IN WASHINGTON STATE 1237 00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:25,374 THAT. A COUPLE IN WASHINGTON STATE WERE ARRESTED AFTER THEY TRIED 1238 00:47:25,376 --> 00:47:27,476 A COUPLE IN WASHINGTON STATE WERE ARRESTED AFTER THEY TRIED TO SELL THEIR BABY FOR $1,000 1239 00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:28,711 WERE ARRESTED AFTER THEY TRIED TO SELL THEIR BABY FOR $1,000 AND SOME BEER. 1240 00:47:28,713 --> 00:47:30,746 TO SELL THEIR BABY FOR $1,000 AND SOME BEER. AND I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS 1241 00:47:30,748 --> 00:47:32,315 AND SOME BEER. AND I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS WHICH ONE OF THEM SAID, AND SOME 1242 00:47:32,317 --> 00:47:32,615 AND I'LL GIVE YOU ONE GUESS WHICH ONE OF THEM SAID, AND SOME BEER. 1243 00:47:32,617 --> 00:47:34,884 WHICH ONE OF THEM SAID, AND SOME BEER. >> A NUMBER OF TIKTOK USERS HAVE 1244 00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:37,587 BEER. >> A NUMBER OF TIKTOK USERS HAVE BEEN POSTING VIDEOS THAT USE AI 1245 00:47:37,589 --> 00:47:40,523 >> A NUMBER OF TIKTOK USERS HAVE BEEN POSTING VIDEOS THAT USE AI TO TRANSLATE ADOLF HITLER'S 1246 00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:41,223 BEEN POSTING VIDEOS THAT USE AI TO TRANSLATE ADOLF HITLER'S SPEECHES INTO ENGLISH. 1247 00:47:41,225 --> 00:47:42,191 TO TRANSLATE ADOLF HITLER'S SPEECHES INTO ENGLISH. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 1248 00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:44,193 SPEECHES INTO ENGLISH. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. >> THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. 1249 00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:44,927 LET'S TAKE A LOOK. >> THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. PEOPLE THAT CAME IN, THEY'RE 1250 00:47:44,929 --> 00:47:52,068 >> THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS. PEOPLE THAT CAME IN, THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. 1251 00:47:52,070 --> 00:47:52,468 PEOPLE THAT CAME IN, THEY'RE EATING THE CATS. [ LAUGHTER ] 1252 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:56,372 EATING THE CATS. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1253 00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:57,306 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SO DUMB. 1254 00:47:57,308 --> 00:48:03,679 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SO DUMB. WELL, GUYS, THIS SUMMER, A 1255 00:48:03,681 --> 00:48:04,413 SO DUMB. WELL, GUYS, THIS SUMMER, A TWO-MONTH-OLD PYGMY HIPPO IN DAY 1256 00:48:04,415 --> 00:48:06,315 WELL, GUYS, THIS SUMMER, A TWO-MONTH-OLD PYGMY HIPPO IN DAY LAND NAMED MOO DENG BECAME A 1257 00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:08,551 TWO-MONTH-OLD PYGMY HIPPO IN DAY LAND NAMED MOO DENG BECAME A VIRAL SENSATION CAUSING HUGE 1258 00:48:08,553 --> 00:48:11,387 LAND NAMED MOO DENG BECAME A VIRAL SENSATION CAUSING HUGE CROWDS AT HER ZOO ENCLOSURE WITH 1259 00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:12,955 VIRAL SENSATION CAUSING HUGE CROWDS AT HER ZOO ENCLOSURE WITH SOME UNRULY FANS THROWING SHELL 1260 00:48:12,957 --> 00:48:15,057 CROWDS AT HER ZOO ENCLOSURE WITH SOME UNRULY FANS THROWING SHELL FISH AT HER TO GET HER 1261 00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:15,424 SOME UNRULY FANS THROWING SHELL FISH AT HER TO GET HER ATTENTION. 1262 00:48:15,426 --> 00:48:17,226 FISH AT HER TO GET HER ATTENTION. HERE TO COMMENT IS MOO DENG. 1263 00:48:17,228 --> 00:48:22,698 ATTENTION. HERE TO COMMENT IS MOO DENG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1264 00:48:22,700 --> 00:48:23,032 HERE TO COMMENT IS MOO DENG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> STOP. 1265 00:48:23,034 --> 00:48:26,702 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> STOP. STOP CLAPPING. 1266 00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:27,970 >> STOP. STOP CLAPPING. HI, COLIN. 1267 00:48:27,972 --> 00:48:29,839 STOP CLAPPING. HI, COLIN. IS IT OKAY IF I SAY SOMETHING? 1268 00:48:29,841 --> 00:48:31,907 HI, COLIN. IS IT OKAY IF I SAY SOMETHING? >> IS IT OKAY IF YOU SAY 1269 00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:32,274 IS IT OKAY IF I SAY SOMETHING? >> IS IT OKAY IF YOU SAY SOMETHING? 1270 00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:32,575 >> IS IT OKAY IF YOU SAY SOMETHING? SURE. 1271 00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:33,809 SOMETHING? SURE. GO AHEAD, MOO DENG. 1272 00:48:33,811 --> 00:48:35,144 SURE. GO AHEAD, MOO DENG. >> FOR THE PAST TEN WEEKS, I 1273 00:48:35,146 --> 00:48:38,314 GO AHEAD, MOO DENG. >> FOR THE PAST TEN WEEKS, I HAVE BEEN GOING NONSTOP. 1274 00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:42,151 >> FOR THE PAST TEN WEEKS, I HAVE BEEN GOING NONSTOP. RUNNING AROUND, EATING LETTUCE, 1275 00:48:42,153 --> 00:48:42,885 HAVE BEEN GOING NONSTOP. RUNNING AROUND, EATING LETTUCE, TRYING TO BITE THE WATER FROM A 1276 00:48:42,887 --> 00:48:44,954 RUNNING AROUND, EATING LETTUCE, TRYING TO BITE THE WATER FROM A HOSE. 1277 00:48:44,956 --> 00:48:47,456 TRYING TO BITE THE WATER FROM A HOSE. AND THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN 1278 00:48:47,458 --> 00:48:47,890 HOSE. AND THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN OVERWHELMING. 1279 00:48:47,892 --> 00:48:49,091 AND THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN OVERWHELMING. BUT IT HAS COME TO THE POINT 1280 00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:51,127 OVERWHELMING. BUT IT HAS COME TO THE POINT WHERE I NEED TO SET SOME 1281 00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:51,527 BUT IT HAS COME TO THE POINT WHERE I NEED TO SET SOME BOUNDARIES. 1282 00:48:51,529 --> 00:48:53,462 WHERE I NEED TO SET SOME BOUNDARIES. >> OH, YOU NEED TO SET 1283 00:48:53,464 --> 00:48:53,863 BOUNDARIES. >> OH, YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDARIES? 1284 00:48:53,865 --> 00:48:55,865 >> OH, YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDARIES? >> REMINDER, WOMEN OWE YOU 1285 00:48:55,867 --> 00:48:56,332 BOUNDARIES? >> REMINDER, WOMEN OWE YOU NOTHING. 1286 00:48:56,334 --> 00:48:58,267 >> REMINDER, WOMEN OWE YOU NOTHING. WHEN I'M IN MY ENCLOSURE 1287 00:48:58,269 --> 00:49:00,603 NOTHING. WHEN I'M IN MY ENCLOSURE TRIPPING OVER STUFF, BITING MY 1288 00:49:00,605 --> 00:49:02,538 WHEN I'M IN MY ENCLOSURE TRIPPING OVER STUFF, BITING MY TRAINER'S KNEE, I AM AT WORK. 1289 00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:05,474 TRIPPING OVER STUFF, BITING MY TRAINER'S KNEE, I AM AT WORK. THAT IS THE PROJECT. 1290 00:49:05,476 --> 00:49:08,077 TRAINER'S KNEE, I AM AT WORK. THAT IS THE PROJECT. DO NOT YELL MY NAME OR EXPECT A 1291 00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:10,446 THAT IS THE PROJECT. DO NOT YELL MY NAME OR EXPECT A PHOTO JUST BECAUSE OF I'M YOUR 1292 00:49:10,448 --> 00:49:12,948 DO NOT YELL MY NAME OR EXPECT A PHOTO JUST BECAUSE OF I'M YOUR PAR SOCIAL BESTIE OR BECAUSE YOU 1293 00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:14,150 PHOTO JUST BECAUSE OF I'M YOUR PAR SOCIAL BESTIE OR BECAUSE YOU APPRECIATE MY TALENT. 1294 00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:17,019 PAR SOCIAL BESTIE OR BECAUSE YOU APPRECIATE MY TALENT. >> WHAT IS YOUR TALENT? 1295 00:49:17,021 --> 00:49:18,921 APPRECIATE MY TALENT. >> WHAT IS YOUR TALENT? >> HAVING A SLIPPERY BODY THAT 1296 00:49:18,923 --> 00:49:19,255 >> WHAT IS YOUR TALENT? >> HAVING A SLIPPERY BODY THAT BOUNCES. 1297 00:49:19,257 --> 00:49:21,123 >> HAVING A SLIPPERY BODY THAT BOUNCES. COLIN, BEFORE ME, THE ONLY 1298 00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:22,992 BOUNCES. COLIN, BEFORE ME, THE ONLY HIPPOS IN MEDIA WERE EITHER 1299 00:49:22,994 --> 00:49:26,395 COLIN, BEFORE ME, THE ONLY HIPPOS IN MEDIA WERE EITHER HUNGRY HUNGRY OR JADA PINKETT 1300 00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:27,563 HIPPOS IN MEDIA WERE EITHER HUNGRY HUNGRY OR JADA PINKETT SMITH IN MADAGASCAR. 1301 00:49:27,565 --> 00:49:30,633 HUNGRY HUNGRY OR JADA PINKETT SMITH IN MADAGASCAR. BUT NOW, I'M YOUR FAVORITE 1302 00:49:30,635 --> 00:49:34,537 SMITH IN MADAGASCAR. BUT NOW, I'M YOUR FAVORITE HIPPO'S FAVORITE HIPPO, AND I'M 1303 00:49:34,539 --> 00:49:35,004 BUT NOW, I'M YOUR FAVORITE HIPPO'S FAVORITE HIPPO, AND I'M THIRSTY THIRSTY. 1304 00:49:35,006 --> 00:49:42,144 HIPPO'S FAVORITE HIPPO, AND I'M THIRSTY THIRSTY. HOSE! 1305 00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:42,445 THIRSTY THIRSTY. HOSE! SORRY. 1306 00:49:42,447 --> 00:49:48,384 HOSE! SORRY. I NEEDED THAT. 1307 00:49:48,386 --> 00:49:51,821 SORRY. I NEEDED THAT. >> SORRY, MOO DENG, IT MUST BE 1308 00:49:51,823 --> 00:49:53,456 I NEEDED THAT. >> SORRY, MOO DENG, IT MUST BE SO STRESSFUL HAVING THE WHOLE 1309 00:49:53,458 --> 00:49:54,557 >> SORRY, MOO DENG, IT MUST BE SO STRESSFUL HAVING THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING YOU. 1310 00:49:54,559 --> 00:49:56,025 SO STRESSFUL HAVING THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHING YOU. >> HONESTLY, SOMETIMES I FEEL 1311 00:49:56,027 --> 00:49:58,360 WORLD WATCHING YOU. >> HONESTLY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I LIVE MY LIFE IN A CAGE, 1312 00:49:58,362 --> 00:50:00,229 >> HONESTLY, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I LIVE MY LIFE IN A CAGE, LIKE AN ANIMAL TRAPPED IN A ZOO 1313 00:50:00,231 --> 00:50:01,664 LIKE I LIVE MY LIFE IN A CAGE, LIKE AN ANIMAL TRAPPED IN A ZOO FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK AT. 1314 00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:03,265 LIKE AN ANIMAL TRAPPED IN A ZOO FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK AT. >> WELL, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT YOU 1315 00:50:03,267 --> 00:50:03,566 FOR PEOPLE TO LOOK AT. >> WELL, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT YOU ARE. 1316 00:50:03,568 --> 00:50:06,001 >> WELL, THAT'S KIND OF WHAT YOU ARE. >> NO, COLIN, I HAVE A CAREER, 1317 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:06,302 ARE. >> NO, COLIN, I HAVE A CAREER, OKAY? 1318 00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:09,238 >> NO, COLIN, I HAVE A CAREER, OKAY? I'VE BEEN APPROACHED BY BRANDS, 1319 00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:11,907 OKAY? I'VE BEEN APPROACHED BY BRANDS, AWAY LUGGAGE, BUT I WILL ONLY 1320 00:50:11,909 --> 00:50:13,676 I'VE BEEN APPROACHED BY BRANDS, AWAY LUGGAGE, BUT I WILL ONLY STAND BEHIND PRODUCTS THAT I 1321 00:50:13,678 --> 00:50:14,977 AWAY LUGGAGE, BUT I WILL ONLY STAND BEHIND PRODUCTS THAT I BELIEVE IN LIKE SWEET POTATOES 1322 00:50:14,979 --> 00:50:15,444 STAND BEHIND PRODUCTS THAT I BELIEVE IN LIKE SWEET POTATOES AND HOSE WATER. 1323 00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:20,316 BELIEVE IN LIKE SWEET POTATOES AND HOSE WATER. HOSE! 1324 00:50:20,318 --> 00:50:23,886 AND HOSE WATER. HOSE! SORRY. 1325 00:50:23,888 --> 00:50:26,455 HOSE! SORRY. I JUST REALLY WANTED SOME HOSE. 1326 00:50:26,457 --> 00:50:28,724 SORRY. I JUST REALLY WANTED SOME HOSE. TRUST ME, I KNOW I WOULD NOT BE 1327 00:50:28,726 --> 00:50:31,427 I JUST REALLY WANTED SOME HOSE. TRUST ME, I KNOW I WOULD NOT BE IN THIS POSITION WITHOUT MY 1328 00:50:31,429 --> 00:50:36,298 TRUST ME, I KNOW I WOULD NOT BE IN THIS POSITION WITHOUT MY FANS, MY COMMUNITY, MY MOO DENG 1329 00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:37,800 IN THIS POSITION WITHOUT MY FANS, MY COMMUNITY, MY MOO DENG BOO THANG. 1330 00:50:37,802 --> 00:50:42,004 FANS, MY COMMUNITY, MY MOO DENG BOO THANG. BUT THE HARASSMENT HAS BEEN 1331 00:50:42,006 --> 00:50:42,404 BOO THANG. BUT THE HARASSMENT HAS BEEN INTOLERABLE. 1332 00:50:42,406 --> 00:50:42,705 BUT THE HARASSMENT HAS BEEN INTOLERABLE. OKAY? 1333 00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:43,939 INTOLERABLE. OKAY? OH, MY GOD! 1334 00:50:43,941 --> 00:50:47,343 OKAY? OH, MY GOD! THEY'RE THROWING SELL FISH AND 1335 00:50:47,345 --> 00:50:47,810 OH, MY GOD! THEY'RE THROWING SELL FISH AND BANANAS AT ME. 1336 00:50:47,812 --> 00:50:50,279 THEY'RE THROWING SELL FISH AND BANANAS AT ME. COLIN! 1337 00:50:50,281 --> 00:50:51,313 BANANAS AT ME. COLIN! >> HEY! 1338 00:50:51,315 --> 00:50:53,249 COLIN! >> HEY! YOU LEAVE MOO DENG ALONE! 1339 00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:54,250 >> HEY! YOU LEAVE MOO DENG ALONE! >> WOW. 1340 00:50:54,252 --> 00:50:56,585 YOU LEAVE MOO DENG ALONE! >> WOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH, COLIN. 1341 00:50:56,587 --> 00:51:02,024 >> WOW. THANK YOU SO MUCH, COLIN. YOUR VOICE GOT SO LOUD. 1342 00:51:02,026 --> 00:51:04,326 THANK YOU SO MUCH, COLIN. YOUR VOICE GOT SO LOUD. THAT WAS SO BRAVE OF YOU. 1343 00:51:04,328 --> 00:51:07,029 YOUR VOICE GOT SO LOUD. THAT WAS SO BRAVE OF YOU. >> I HAVE TO SAY, MOO DENG, YOU 1344 00:51:07,031 --> 00:51:09,031 THAT WAS SO BRAVE OF YOU. >> I HAVE TO SAY, MOO DENG, YOU KNOW, YOUR LIFE SOUNDS A LOT 1345 00:51:09,033 --> 00:51:11,634 >> I HAVE TO SAY, MOO DENG, YOU KNOW, YOUR LIFE SOUNDS A LOT LIKE CHAPEL ROAN'S LATELY. 1346 00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:12,802 KNOW, YOUR LIFE SOUNDS A LOT LIKE CHAPEL ROAN'S LATELY. DO YOU KNOW CHAPEL ROAN? 1347 00:51:12,804 --> 00:51:15,070 LIKE CHAPEL ROAN'S LATELY. DO YOU KNOW CHAPEL ROAN? >> I'M TEN WEEKS OLD, COLIN, OF 1348 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,272 DO YOU KNOW CHAPEL ROAN? >> I'M TEN WEEKS OLD, COLIN, OF COURSE I KNOW CHAPEL ROAN. 1349 00:51:16,274 --> 00:51:18,407 >> I'M TEN WEEKS OLD, COLIN, OF COURSE I KNOW CHAPEL ROAN. BY THE WAY, LEAVE HER ALONE. 1350 00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:21,277 COURSE I KNOW CHAPEL ROAN. BY THE WAY, LEAVE HER ALONE. LET HER TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS SHE 1351 00:51:21,279 --> 00:51:22,845 BY THE WAY, LEAVE HER ALONE. LET HER TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS SHE NEEDS FOR HER MENTAL HEALTH. 1352 00:51:22,847 --> 00:51:24,313 LET HER TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS SHE NEEDS FOR HER MENTAL HEALTH. WE BOTH DESERVE PATIENCE AND 1353 00:51:24,315 --> 00:51:26,282 NEEDS FOR HER MENTAL HEALTH. WE BOTH DESERVE PATIENCE AND GRACE, SO STOP HARASSING HER AND 1354 00:51:26,284 --> 00:51:29,385 WE BOTH DESERVE PATIENCE AND GRACE, SO STOP HARASSING HER AND STOP THROWING SHELL FISH AT HER. 1355 00:51:29,387 --> 00:51:30,119 GRACE, SO STOP HARASSING HER AND STOP THROWING SHELL FISH AT HER. >> I DON'T THINK SHE HAS THAT 1356 00:51:30,121 --> 00:51:30,486 STOP THROWING SHELL FISH AT HER. >> I DON'T THINK SHE HAS THAT PROBLEM. 1357 00:51:30,488 --> 00:51:32,288 >> I DON'T THINK SHE HAS THAT PROBLEM. >> IT'S A MATTER OF TIME, COLIN. 1358 00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:33,556 PROBLEM. >> IT'S A MATTER OF TIME, COLIN. THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY DOES. 1359 00:51:33,558 --> 00:51:36,992 >> IT'S A MATTER OF TIME, COLIN. THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY DOES. IT PUTS YOUNG WOMEN ON PEDESTALS 1360 00:51:36,994 --> 00:51:38,828 THIS IS WHAT SOCIETY DOES. IT PUTS YOUNG WOMEN ON PEDESTALS ONLY TO KNOCK THEM DOWN WITH 1361 00:51:38,830 --> 00:51:39,295 IT PUTS YOUNG WOMEN ON PEDESTALS ONLY TO KNOCK THEM DOWN WITH SHELL FISH. 1362 00:51:39,297 --> 00:51:41,730 ONLY TO KNOCK THEM DOWN WITH SHELL FISH. AND ALSO, I KNOW I'M ONLY TEN 1363 00:51:41,732 --> 00:51:42,965 SHELL FISH. AND ALSO, I KNOW I'M ONLY TEN WEEKS OLD, BUT THIS IS VERY 1364 00:51:42,967 --> 00:51:44,767 AND ALSO, I KNOW I'M ONLY TEN WEEKS OLD, BUT THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, SO PLEASE 1365 00:51:44,769 --> 00:51:45,100 WEEKS OLD, BUT THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, SO PLEASE LISTEN. 1366 00:51:45,102 --> 00:51:46,902 IMPORTANT TO ME, SO PLEASE LISTEN. I WILL NOT BE MAKING AN 1367 00:51:46,904 --> 00:51:47,570 LISTEN. I WILL NOT BE MAKING AN ENDORSEMENT IN THIS YEAR'S 1368 00:51:47,572 --> 00:51:51,473 I WILL NOT BE MAKING AN ENDORSEMENT IN THIS YEAR'S ELECTION. 1369 00:51:51,475 --> 00:51:53,442 ENDORSEMENT IN THIS YEAR'S ELECTION. >> THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION? 1370 00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:53,776 ELECTION. >> THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION? REALLY? 1371 00:51:53,778 --> 00:51:54,343 >> THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION? REALLY? >> YES. 1372 00:51:54,345 --> 00:51:56,312 REALLY? >> YES. I'M GETTING STRESSED OUT AGAIN, 1373 00:51:56,314 --> 00:51:56,679 >> YES. I'M GETTING STRESSED OUT AGAIN, COLIN. 1374 00:51:56,681 --> 00:51:58,113 I'M GETTING STRESSED OUT AGAIN, COLIN. CAN I BITE YOUR KNEE? 1375 00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:58,447 COLIN. CAN I BITE YOUR KNEE? >> NO. 1376 00:51:58,449 --> 00:51:59,348 CAN I BITE YOUR KNEE? >> NO. >> FINE. 1377 00:51:59,350 --> 00:52:01,083 >> NO. >> FINE. SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS TO RESPECT 1378 00:52:01,085 --> 00:52:01,617 >> FINE. SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS TO RESPECT PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES? 1379 00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:08,691 SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS TO RESPECT PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES? HOSE! 1380 00:52:08,693 --> 00:52:11,393 PEOPLE'S BOUNDARIES? HOSE! OH, NO, COLIN, YOUR WIG! 1381 00:52:11,395 --> 00:52:14,296 HOSE! OH, NO, COLIN, YOUR WIG! >> MY WIG! 1382 00:52:14,298 --> 00:52:16,031 OH, NO, COLIN, YOUR WIG! >> MY WIG! MOO DENG, EVERYONE! 1383 00:52:16,033 --> 00:52:18,000 >> MY WIG! MOO DENG, EVERYONE! FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN 1384 00:52:18,002 --> 00:52:42,491 MOO DENG, EVERYONE! FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN 1385 00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,760 FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M COLIN >>> WELCOME BACK TO CNN'S THE 1386 00:52:44,762 --> 00:52:49,064 >>> WELCOME BACK TO CNN'S THE HISTORY OF THE SITCOM, THE ONLY SHOW SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO BE 1387 00:52:49,066 --> 00:52:50,232 HISTORY OF THE SITCOM, THE ONLY SHOW SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO BE WATCHED IN YOUR PARENTS' 1388 00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:51,400 SHOW SPECIFICALLY MEANT TO BE WATCHED IN YOUR PARENTS' HOSPITAL ROOM. 1389 00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:54,403 WATCHED IN YOUR PARENTS' HOSPITAL ROOM. WE ALL REMEMBER THE CBS SITCOM I 1390 00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:59,341 HOSPITAL ROOM. WE ALL REMEMBER THE CBS SITCOM I LOVE LUCY WHICH DEBUTED IN 1951 1391 00:52:59,343 --> 00:53:01,410 WE ALL REMEMBER THE CBS SITCOM I LOVE LUCY WHICH DEBUTED IN 1951 AND QUICKLY BECAUSE OF A 1392 00:53:01,412 --> 00:53:03,112 LOVE LUCY WHICH DEBUTED IN 1951 AND QUICKLY BECAUSE OF A PHENOMENON. 1393 00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:05,714 AND QUICKLY BECAUSE OF A PHENOMENON. WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW IS 1394 00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:08,450 PHENOMENON. WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW IS BEFORE LUCILLE BALL, EDNA 1395 00:53:08,452 --> 00:53:12,821 WHAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW IS BEFORE LUCILLE BALL, EDNA BURKEN, A DRAMATIC STAGE ACTRESS 1396 00:53:12,823 --> 00:53:13,622 BEFORE LUCILLE BALL, EDNA BURKEN, A DRAMATIC STAGE ACTRESS LOOKING TO BREAK INTO TELEVISION 1397 00:53:13,624 --> 00:53:14,056 BURKEN, A DRAMATIC STAGE ACTRESS LOOKING TO BREAK INTO TELEVISION HAD THE ROLE. 1398 00:53:14,058 --> 00:53:18,394 LOOKING TO BREAK INTO TELEVISION HAD THE ROLE. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 1399 00:53:18,396 --> 00:53:24,033 HAD THE ROLE. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. >> LUCY, I'M HOME! 1400 00:53:24,035 --> 00:53:26,468 LET'S TAKE A LOOK. >> LUCY, I'M HOME! >> WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 1401 00:53:26,470 --> 00:53:27,036 >> LUCY, I'M HOME! >> WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? >> WHAT? 1402 00:53:27,038 --> 00:53:29,338 >> WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? >> WHAT? >> I SAID WHERE THE HELL HAVE 1403 00:53:29,340 --> 00:53:29,705 >> WHAT? >> I SAID WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? 1404 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,807 >> I SAID WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? >> LUCY, YOU KNOW I WAS DOWN AT 1405 00:53:31,809 --> 00:53:32,708 YOU BEEN? >> LUCY, YOU KNOW I WAS DOWN AT THE CLUB. 1406 00:53:32,710 --> 00:53:35,277 >> LUCY, YOU KNOW I WAS DOWN AT THE CLUB. >> FOR 15 GOD DAMN HOURS? 1407 00:53:35,279 --> 00:53:39,949 THE CLUB. >> FOR 15 GOD DAMN HOURS? DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? 1408 00:53:39,951 --> 00:53:44,753 >> FOR 15 GOD DAMN HOURS? DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? >> AY, LUCY. 1409 00:53:44,755 --> 00:53:48,257 DO YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT? >> AY, LUCY. >> BAD, RIGHT? 1410 00:53:48,259 --> 00:53:51,460 >> AY, LUCY. >> BAD, RIGHT? MANY PEOPLE WONDERED WHY CBS 1411 00:53:51,462 --> 00:53:54,596 >> BAD, RIGHT? MANY PEOPLE WONDERED WHY CBS WOULD CAST A DRAMATIC ACTRESS IN 1412 00:53:54,598 --> 00:53:56,699 MANY PEOPLE WONDERED WHY CBS WOULD CAST A DRAMATIC ACTRESS IN A SITCOM. 1413 00:53:56,701 --> 00:53:57,733 WOULD CAST A DRAMATIC ACTRESS IN A SITCOM. TELEVISION WAS STILL YOUNG. 1414 00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:59,568 A SITCOM. TELEVISION WAS STILL YOUNG. THE ONLY TV STAR UP TO THIS 1415 00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:03,539 TELEVISION WAS STILL YOUNG. THE ONLY TV STAR UP TO THIS POINT WAS A HORSE WHO SMOKED 1416 00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:03,939 THE ONLY TV STAR UP TO THIS POINT WAS A HORSE WHO SMOKED CIGARETTES. 1417 00:54:03,941 --> 00:54:04,640 POINT WAS A HORSE WHO SMOKED CIGARETTES. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT ANOTHER 1418 00:54:04,642 --> 00:54:05,107 CIGARETTES. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT ANOTHER FAMOUS SCENE. 1419 00:54:05,109 --> 00:54:07,209 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT ANOTHER FAMOUS SCENE. >> OKAY, LUCY. 1420 00:54:07,211 --> 00:54:09,178 FAMOUS SCENE. >> OKAY, LUCY. WHICH NECKTIE WOULD BE THE BEST 1421 00:54:09,180 --> 00:54:11,747 >> OKAY, LUCY. WHICH NECKTIE WOULD BE THE BEST FOR MY BIG PERFORMANCE TONIGHT? 1422 00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:13,048 WHICH NECKTIE WOULD BE THE BEST FOR MY BIG PERFORMANCE TONIGHT? THE YELLOW ONE OR THE RED ONE? 1423 00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:17,519 FOR MY BIG PERFORMANCE TONIGHT? THE YELLOW ONE OR THE RED ONE? >> ARE YOU GAY? 1424 00:54:17,521 --> 00:54:18,854 THE YELLOW ONE OR THE RED ONE? >> ARE YOU GAY? >> EXCUSE ME? 1425 00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:20,789 >> ARE YOU GAY? >> EXCUSE ME? >> YOU HAVE TO TELL ME BECAUSE 1426 00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:22,791 >> EXCUSE ME? >> YOU HAVE TO TELL ME BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY. 1427 00:54:22,793 --> 00:54:25,227 >> YOU HAVE TO TELL ME BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY. >> LUCY, I THINK YOU'RE GOING 1428 00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:25,527 I'M TIRED OF LIVING THIS WAY. >> LUCY, I THINK YOU'RE GOING LOCO. 1429 00:54:25,529 --> 00:54:27,396 >> LUCY, I THINK YOU'RE GOING LOCO. >> AM I? 1430 00:54:27,398 --> 00:54:27,696 LOCO. >> AM I? AM I? 1431 00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:30,866 >> AM I? AM I? WE SLEEP IN SEPARATE BEDS. 1432 00:54:30,868 --> 00:54:32,701 AM I? WE SLEEP IN SEPARATE BEDS. ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, YOU RAN TO 1433 00:54:32,703 --> 00:54:34,370 WE SLEEP IN SEPARATE BEDS. ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, YOU RAN TO THE BATHROOM TO THROW UP. 1434 00:54:34,372 --> 00:54:35,671 ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, YOU RAN TO THE BATHROOM TO THROW UP. AND FRANKLY, YOUR ACCENT IS A 1435 00:54:35,673 --> 00:54:37,873 THE BATHROOM TO THROW UP. AND FRANKLY, YOUR ACCENT IS A LITTLE -- 1436 00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:40,809 AND FRANKLY, YOUR ACCENT IS A LITTLE -- >> HOW YOU WANT ME TO SOUND, 1437 00:54:40,811 --> 00:54:41,110 LITTLE -- >> HOW YOU WANT ME TO SOUND, LUCY? 1438 00:54:41,112 --> 00:54:42,111 >> HOW YOU WANT ME TO SOUND, LUCY? I'M CUBAN. 1439 00:54:42,113 --> 00:54:43,112 LUCY? I'M CUBAN. >> ALL RIGHT. 1440 00:54:43,114 --> 00:54:48,350 I'M CUBAN. >> ALL RIGHT. LET ME PUT THIS IN A WAY YOU'LL 1441 00:54:48,352 --> 00:54:49,018 >> ALL RIGHT. LET ME PUT THIS IN A WAY YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. 1442 00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:49,551 LET ME PUT THIS IN A WAY YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. TU SOY GAY. 1443 00:54:49,553 --> 00:54:55,457 UNDERSTAND. TU SOY GAY. >> AY, LUCY. 1444 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:58,360 TU SOY GAY. >> AY, LUCY. >> FUN FACT ABOUT EDNA. 1445 00:54:58,362 --> 00:55:00,496 >> AY, LUCY. >> FUN FACT ABOUT EDNA. AFTER THE SHOW, SHE WOULD GO ON 1446 00:55:00,498 --> 00:55:02,131 >> FUN FACT ABOUT EDNA. AFTER THE SHOW, SHE WOULD GO ON TO NAME HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN 1447 00:55:02,133 --> 00:55:03,732 AFTER THE SHOW, SHE WOULD GO ON TO NAME HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY SHE SUSPECTED OF 1448 00:55:03,734 --> 00:55:06,368 TO NAME HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE IN THE INDUSTRY SHE SUSPECTED OF BEING COMMUNISTS. 1449 00:55:06,370 --> 00:55:09,905 THE INDUSTRY SHE SUSPECTED OF BEING COMMUNISTS. THIS WAS IN 1992, SO THAT WASN'T 1450 00:55:09,907 --> 00:55:10,739 BEING COMMUNISTS. THIS WAS IN 1992, SO THAT WASN'T A THING ANYMORE. 1451 00:55:10,741 --> 00:55:13,042 THIS WAS IN 1992, SO THAT WASN'T A THING ANYMORE. IN ORDER TO LIGHTEN UP THE SHOW, 1452 00:55:13,044 --> 00:55:15,677 A THING ANYMORE. IN ORDER TO LIGHTEN UP THE SHOW, PRODUCERS ADDED TWO NEW ACTORS, 1453 00:55:15,679 --> 00:55:18,113 IN ORDER TO LIGHTEN UP THE SHOW, PRODUCERS ADDED TWO NEW ACTORS, FRED AND ETHEL. 1454 00:55:18,115 --> 00:55:20,582 PRODUCERS ADDED TWO NEW ACTORS, FRED AND ETHEL. >> OKAY, YOU TWO, WHERE HAVE YOU 1455 00:55:20,584 --> 00:55:20,883 FRED AND ETHEL. >> OKAY, YOU TWO, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? 1456 00:55:20,885 --> 00:55:21,750 >> OKAY, YOU TWO, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU HAVE SOME ANSWERS TO 1457 00:55:21,752 --> 00:55:22,117 BEEN? YOU HAVE SOME ANSWERS TO PROVIDE. 1458 00:55:22,119 --> 00:55:22,785 YOU HAVE SOME ANSWERS TO PROVIDE. >> I KNOW WHERE THEY WERE, 1459 00:55:22,787 --> 00:55:25,587 PROVIDE. >> I KNOW WHERE THEY WERE, SPENDING MY MONEY. 1460 00:55:25,589 --> 00:55:26,588 >> I KNOW WHERE THEY WERE, SPENDING MY MONEY. NOW SHOW ME WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR 1461 00:55:26,590 --> 00:55:30,025 SPENDING MY MONEY. NOW SHOW ME WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK, ETHEL. 1462 00:55:30,027 --> 00:55:32,494 NOW SHOW ME WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK, ETHEL. THE OTHER HAND. 1463 00:55:32,496 --> 00:55:33,762 BACK, ETHEL. THE OTHER HAND. >> ALL RIGHT. 1464 00:55:33,764 --> 00:55:34,063 THE OTHER HAND. >> ALL RIGHT. FINE. 1465 00:55:34,065 --> 00:55:35,497 >> ALL RIGHT. FINE. WE WENT SHOPPING. 1466 00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:37,766 FINE. WE WENT SHOPPING. >> AND LUCY, WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR 1467 00:55:37,768 --> 00:55:40,569 WE WENT SHOPPING. >> AND LUCY, WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK? 1468 00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:44,006 >> AND LUCY, WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK? OH, MY GOD! 1469 00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:57,519 BACK? OH, MY GOD! >> HASTA LA VISTA, POPPY. 1470 00:55:57,521 --> 00:55:59,154 OH, MY GOD! >> HASTA LA VISTA, POPPY. >> CBS IMMEDIATELY RECAST EDNA 1471 00:55:59,156 --> 00:56:02,157 >> HASTA LA VISTA, POPPY. >> CBS IMMEDIATELY RECAST EDNA WITH LUCILLE BALL WHICH MADE A 1472 00:56:02,159 --> 00:56:03,725 >> CBS IMMEDIATELY RECAST EDNA WITH LUCILLE BALL WHICH MADE A LOT MORE SENSE. 1473 00:56:03,727 --> 00:56:04,393 WITH LUCILLE BALL WHICH MADE A LOT MORE SENSE. THIS HAS BEEN HISTORY OF A 1474 00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:08,897 LOT MORE SENSE. THIS HAS BEEN HISTORY OF A SITCOM. 1475 00:56:31,654 --> 00:56:40,429 >>> LIVE FROM THE BOILER ROOM, IT'S THE TALK TALK SHOW WITH CHARLI XCX. 1476 00:56:40,431 --> 00:56:41,763 IT'S THE TALK TALK SHOW WITH CHARLI XCX. >> WHATEVER, WHATEVER. 1477 00:56:41,765 --> 00:56:43,599 CHARLI XCX. >> WHATEVER, WHATEVER. HI, IT'S ME. 1478 00:56:43,601 --> 00:56:45,601 >> WHATEVER, WHATEVER. HI, IT'S ME. PARTY GIRL CHARLI XCX. 1479 00:56:45,603 --> 00:56:47,603 HI, IT'S ME. PARTY GIRL CHARLI XCX. THIS IS MY TALK SHOW WHERE WE 1480 00:56:47,605 --> 00:56:49,471 PARTY GIRL CHARLI XCX. THIS IS MY TALK SHOW WHERE WE TALK TALK ABOUT WHAT I'M ON 1481 00:56:49,473 --> 00:56:52,774 THIS IS MY TALK SHOW WHERE WE TALK TALK ABOUT WHAT I'M ON ABOUT, WHICH MEANS ALWAYS IT'S 1482 00:56:52,776 --> 00:57:06,021 TALK TALK ABOUT WHAT I'M ON ABOUT, WHICH MEANS ALWAYS IT'S AUSTRALIAN DINGO TROY TROYE. 1483 00:57:06,023 --> 00:57:06,755 ABOUT, WHICH MEANS ALWAYS IT'S AUSTRALIAN DINGO TROY TROYE. TROYE, ARE YOU HAPPY TO BE HERE? 1484 00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:07,055 AUSTRALIAN DINGO TROY TROYE. TROYE, ARE YOU HAPPY TO BE HERE? >> NO. 1485 00:57:07,057 --> 00:57:08,891 TROYE, ARE YOU HAPPY TO BE HERE? >> NO. LET'S GET INTO IT, TODAY'S TOP 1486 00:57:08,893 --> 00:57:11,360 >> NO. LET'S GET INTO IT, TODAY'S TOP IS LECTION. 1487 00:57:11,362 --> 00:57:13,629 LET'S GET INTO IT, TODAY'S TOP IS LECTION. I WENT VIRAL WHEN I TWEETED 1488 00:57:13,631 --> 00:57:16,198 IS LECTION. I WENT VIRAL WHEN I TWEETED KAMALA IS BRAT FROM A TOILET IN 1489 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,333 I WENT VIRAL WHEN I TWEETED KAMALA IS BRAT FROM A TOILET IN TACO FRESCOS, WHICH LEFT 1490 00:57:18,335 --> 00:57:21,203 KAMALA IS BRAT FROM A TOILET IN TACO FRESCOS, WHICH LEFT EVERYONE FROM YOUR MOM TO JAKE 1491 00:57:21,205 --> 00:57:22,738 TACO FRESCOS, WHICH LEFT EVERYONE FROM YOUR MOM TO JAKE TAPPER WONDERING WHAT IS THAT. 1492 00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:26,141 EVERYONE FROM YOUR MOM TO JAKE TAPPER WONDERING WHAT IS THAT. TO EXPLAIN OUR FIRST SEGMENT IS 1493 00:57:26,143 --> 00:57:26,542 TAPPER WONDERING WHAT IS THAT. TO EXPLAIN OUR FIRST SEGMENT IS BRAT OR NAT? 1494 00:57:26,544 --> 00:57:29,311 TO EXPLAIN OUR FIRST SEGMENT IS BRAT OR NAT? HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP, BRAT. 1495 00:57:29,313 --> 00:57:34,983 BRAT OR NAT? HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP, BRAT. MARK ROBINSON'S SEARCH HISTORY, 1496 00:57:34,985 --> 00:57:35,250 HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP, BRAT. MARK ROBINSON'S SEARCH HISTORY, NAT. 1497 00:57:35,252 --> 00:57:39,755 MARK ROBINSON'S SEARCH HISTORY, NAT. BARRON TRUMP GOING TO NYU, BRAT. 1498 00:57:39,757 --> 00:57:40,656 NAT. BARRON TRUMP GOING TO NYU, BRAT. NYU, NAT. 1499 00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:44,826 BARRON TRUMP GOING TO NYU, BRAT. NYU, NAT. AMY ADAMS IN NIGHTBITCH, BRAT. 1500 00:57:44,828 --> 00:57:48,564 NYU, NAT. AMY ADAMS IN NIGHTBITCH, BRAT. ERIC ADAMS INDICTMENT, NAT. 1501 00:57:48,566 --> 00:57:50,566 AMY ADAMS IN NIGHTBITCH, BRAT. ERIC ADAMS INDICTMENT, NAT. AND OF COURSE MY AUNT'S BREAST 1502 00:57:50,568 --> 00:57:52,200 ERIC ADAMS INDICTMENT, NAT. AND OF COURSE MY AUNT'S BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY, BRAT. 1503 00:57:52,202 --> 00:57:54,169 AND OF COURSE MY AUNT'S BREAST REDUCTION SURGERY, BRAT. SO HAPPY FOR YOU CAROL, YOU CAN 1504 00:57:54,171 --> 00:57:59,007 REDUCTION SURGERY, BRAT. SO HAPPY FOR YOU CAROL, YOU CAN RUN AGAIN. 1505 00:57:59,009 --> 00:58:00,108 SO HAPPY FOR YOU CAROL, YOU CAN RUN AGAIN. YEA. 1506 00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:01,310 RUN AGAIN. YEA. 1507 00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:02,077 YEA. 1508 00:58:02,079 --> 00:58:02,644 DOES THAT CLEAR THINGS UP FOR YOU TROYE? 1509 00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:03,011 DOES THAT CLEAR THINGS UP FOR YOU TROYE? >> YEAH. 1510 00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:04,212 YOU TROYE? >> YEAH. >> ARE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH? 1511 00:58:04,214 --> 00:58:04,613 >> YEAH. >> ARE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH? >> NO. 1512 00:58:04,615 --> 00:58:05,781 >> ARE YOU TELLING THE TRUTH? >> NO. >> YOU'RE SO GAY. 1513 00:58:05,783 --> 00:58:08,850 >> NO. >> YOU'RE SO GAY. NOW IT'S TIME TO WELCOME OUR 1514 00:58:08,852 --> 00:58:09,184 >> YOU'RE SO GAY. NOW IT'S TIME TO WELCOME OUR GUESTS. 1515 00:58:09,186 --> 00:58:12,187 NOW IT'S TIME TO WELCOME OUR GUESTS. PLEASE WELCOME QUEER NIGHT LIFE 1516 00:58:12,189 --> 00:58:13,722 GUESTS. PLEASE WELCOME QUEER NIGHT LIFE ICON SUSANNE BARTSCH AND CAITLIN 1517 00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:16,558 PLEASE WELCOME QUEER NIGHT LIFE ICON SUSANNE BARTSCH AND CAITLIN COLLINS. 1518 00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,227 ICON SUSANNE BARTSCH AND CAITLIN COLLINS. HELLO. 1519 00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:21,263 COLLINS. HELLO. >> PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 1520 00:58:21,265 --> 00:58:23,432 HELLO. >> PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. >> THANK YOU, DARLING. 1521 00:58:23,434 --> 00:58:25,267 >> PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. >> THANK YOU, DARLING. TO BE HERE IS WOW. 1522 00:58:25,269 --> 00:58:28,303 >> THANK YOU, DARLING. TO BE HERE IS WOW. >> NOW, IS THIS A POLITICAL TALK 1523 00:58:28,305 --> 00:58:28,604 TO BE HERE IS WOW. >> NOW, IS THIS A POLITICAL TALK SHOW. 1524 00:58:28,606 --> 00:58:29,571 >> NOW, IS THIS A POLITICAL TALK SHOW. >> TIS, BABE. 1525 00:58:29,573 --> 00:58:30,772 SHOW. >> TIS, BABE. LET'S GET INTO IT. 1526 00:58:30,774 --> 00:58:32,741 >> TIS, BABE. LET'S GET INTO IT. PRESIDENT BIDEN ADDRESSED THE 1527 00:58:32,743 --> 00:58:34,142 LET'S GET INTO IT. PRESIDENT BIDEN ADDRESSED THE UNITED NATIONS THIS WEEK AS 1528 00:58:34,144 --> 00:58:35,544 PRESIDENT BIDEN ADDRESSED THE UNITED NATIONS THIS WEEK AS CONFLICT IN THE MIDDLE EAST 1529 00:58:35,546 --> 00:58:36,678 UNITED NATIONS THIS WEEK AS CONFLICT IN THE MIDDLE EAST RAGES ON. 1530 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:37,546 CONFLICT IN THE MIDDLE EAST RAGES ON. SUSANNE, YOUR THOUGHTS? 1531 00:58:37,548 --> 00:58:40,015 RAGES ON. SUSANNE, YOUR THOUGHTS? >> IT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE 1532 00:58:40,017 --> 00:58:43,018 SUSANNE, YOUR THOUGHTS? >> IT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE NIGHT IN THE '80s, THAT MY BEST 1533 00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:46,221 >> IT REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE NIGHT IN THE '80s, THAT MY BEST FRIENDS BOB AND DIANA ROSS WERE 1534 00:58:46,223 --> 00:58:52,894 NIGHT IN THE '80s, THAT MY BEST FRIENDS BOB AND DIANA ROSS WERE HOLDING MY HAIR BACK AS I WHERE 1535 00:58:52,896 --> 00:58:55,664 FRIENDS BOB AND DIANA ROSS WERE HOLDING MY HAIR BACK AS I WHERE HE SHALL THREW UP IN THE TOILET. 1536 00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:57,566 HOLDING MY HAIR BACK AS I WHERE HE SHALL THREW UP IN THE TOILET. AND BOB SAID TO YOU YOU'VE GOT 1537 00:58:57,568 --> 00:58:59,801 HE SHALL THREW UP IN THE TOILET. AND BOB SAID TO YOU YOU'VE GOT TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, AND THAT'S 1538 00:58:59,803 --> 00:59:01,937 AND BOB SAID TO YOU YOU'VE GOT TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IN THE 1539 00:59:01,939 --> 00:59:02,371 TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IN THE MIDDLE EAST. 1540 00:59:02,373 --> 00:59:08,443 WHAT THEY NEED TO DO IN THE MIDDLE EAST. >> CAITLIN, HAVE YOU EVER DONE 1541 00:59:08,445 --> 00:59:09,011 MIDDLE EAST. >> CAITLIN, HAVE YOU EVER DONE KETAMINE? 1542 00:59:09,013 --> 00:59:09,344 >> CAITLIN, HAVE YOU EVER DONE KETAMINE? >> NO. 1543 00:59:09,346 --> 00:59:11,980 KETAMINE? >> NO. >> REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ARE UNDER 1544 00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:12,948 >> NO. >> REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ARE UNDER ATTACK. 1545 00:59:12,950 --> 00:59:14,883 >> REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ARE UNDER ATTACK. CAITLIN, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS 1546 00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:17,252 ATTACK. CAITLIN, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON SNOOP ON THE VOICE? 1547 00:59:17,254 --> 00:59:18,186 CAITLIN, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON SNOOP ON THE VOICE? >> AM I GOING TO GET A QUESTION 1548 00:59:18,188 --> 00:59:19,521 ON SNOOP ON THE VOICE? >> AM I GOING TO GET A QUESTION ON CURRENT EVENTS? 1549 00:59:19,523 --> 00:59:21,523 >> AM I GOING TO GET A QUESTION ON CURRENT EVENTS? >> I WISH WE COULD, DARLING, BUT 1550 00:59:21,525 --> 00:59:22,624 ON CURRENT EVENTS? >> I WISH WE COULD, DARLING, BUT IT'S TIME TO GO. 1551 00:59:22,626 --> 00:59:24,960 >> I WISH WE COULD, DARLING, BUT IT'S TIME TO GO. YOU'RE SO JULIA FOR COMING. 1552 00:59:24,962 --> 00:59:28,964 IT'S TIME TO GO. YOU'RE SO JULIA FOR COMING. THANK YOU. 1553 00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:32,734 YOU'RE SO JULIA FOR COMING. THANK YOU. OUR NEXT GUEST IS JASMINE 1554 00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:33,101 THANK YOU. OUR NEXT GUEST IS JASMINE CROCKETT. 1555 00:59:33,103 --> 00:59:33,535 OUR NEXT GUEST IS JASMINE CROCKETT. >> THANK YOU. 1556 00:59:33,537 --> 00:59:35,971 CROCKETT. >> THANK YOU. WOULD YOU SAY I'M THE MOST BRAT 1557 00:59:35,973 --> 00:59:36,405 >> THANK YOU. WOULD YOU SAY I'M THE MOST BRAT CONGRESSWOMAN? 1558 00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:38,540 WOULD YOU SAY I'M THE MOST BRAT CONGRESSWOMAN? >> I THINK IT'S A TIE BETWEEN 1559 00:59:38,542 --> 00:59:40,642 CONGRESSWOMAN? >> I THINK IT'S A TIE BETWEEN YOU AND LAUREN BOEBERT AFTER SHE 1560 00:59:40,644 --> 00:59:43,779 >> I THINK IT'S A TIE BETWEEN YOU AND LAUREN BOEBERT AFTER SHE GOT HER JUBILEES SQUEEZED TO 1561 00:59:43,781 --> 00:59:44,246 YOU AND LAUREN BOEBERT AFTER SHE GOT HER JUBILEES SQUEEZED TO BEETLE JUICE. 1562 00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:44,980 GOT HER JUBILEES SQUEEZED TO BEETLE JUICE. >> THAT'S FAIR. 1563 00:59:44,982 --> 00:59:47,182 BEETLE JUICE. >> THAT'S FAIR. >> I HAVE A SONG ON MY ALBUM 1564 00:59:47,184 --> 00:59:49,151 >> THAT'S FAIR. >> I HAVE A SONG ON MY ALBUM CALLED MEAN GIRLS, AND YOU WENT 1565 00:59:49,153 --> 00:59:51,286 >> I HAVE A SONG ON MY ALBUM CALLED MEAN GIRLS, AND YOU WENT VIRAL THIS SUMMER FOR WHAT YOU 1566 00:59:51,288 --> 00:59:53,622 CALLED MEAN GIRLS, AND YOU WENT VIRAL THIS SUMMER FOR WHAT YOU CALLED MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN. 1567 00:59:53,624 --> 00:59:54,956 VIRAL THIS SUMMER FOR WHAT YOU CALLED MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN. WHAT WAS IT? 1568 00:59:54,958 --> 00:59:57,225 CALLED MARJORIE TAYLOR GREEN. WHAT WAS IT? >> BLEACH BLOND BAD BUILT BUTCH 1569 00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:57,526 WHAT WAS IT? >> BLEACH BLOND BAD BUILT BUTCH BODY. 1570 00:59:57,528 --> 00:59:57,959 >> BLEACH BLOND BAD BUILT BUTCH BODY. >> LOVE THAT. 1571 00:59:57,961 --> 01:00:00,595 BODY. >> LOVE THAT. I WANT TO HEAR YOU POP UP ON 1572 01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:00,996 >> LOVE THAT. I WANT TO HEAR YOU POP UP ON EVERYTHING. 1573 01:00:00,998 --> 01:00:02,597 I WANT TO HEAR YOU POP UP ON EVERYTHING. SO THIS IS JASMINE CROCKETT'S 1574 01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:04,266 EVERYTHING. SO THIS IS JASMINE CROCKETT'S MEAN GIRL CAM. 1575 01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:05,500 SO THIS IS JASMINE CROCKETT'S MEAN GIRL CAM. J.D. VANCE? 1576 01:00:05,502 --> 01:00:09,037 MEAN GIRL CAM. J.D. VANCE? >> SMOKY EYES, CAN'T ORDER 1577 01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:12,407 J.D. VANCE? >> SMOKY EYES, CAN'T ORDER DONUTS BUT HAS DONUT BODY. 1578 01:00:12,409 --> 01:00:15,544 >> SMOKY EYES, CAN'T ORDER DONUTS BUT HAS DONUT BODY. >> YES MATT GATES. 1579 01:00:15,546 --> 01:00:18,146 DONUTS BUT HAS DONUT BODY. >> YES MATT GATES. >> PUNCHABLE BIG, PERVERT, FACE 1580 01:00:18,148 --> 01:00:19,781 >> YES MATT GATES. >> PUNCHABLE BIG, PERVERT, FACE CARD ALWAYS DECLINED. 1581 01:00:19,783 --> 01:00:23,351 >> PUNCHABLE BIG, PERVERT, FACE CARD ALWAYS DECLINED. >> WORK. 1582 01:00:23,353 --> 01:00:23,819 CARD ALWAYS DECLINED. >> WORK. GERRYMANDERING. 1583 01:00:23,821 --> 01:00:25,320 >> WORK. GERRYMANDERING. >> CRAZY SHAPED CROOKED BITCH. 1584 01:00:25,322 --> 01:00:27,823 GERRYMANDERING. >> CRAZY SHAPED CROOKED BITCH. WHY IS THAT COUNTY SHAPED LIKE A 1585 01:00:27,825 --> 01:00:29,424 >> CRAZY SHAPED CROOKED BITCH. WHY IS THAT COUNTY SHAPED LIKE A TAPEWORM WITH A HAT ON? 1586 01:00:29,426 --> 01:00:31,059 WHY IS THAT COUNTY SHAPED LIKE A TAPEWORM WITH A HAT ON? >> THANK YOU, JASMINE. 1587 01:00:31,061 --> 01:00:32,327 TAPEWORM WITH A HAT ON? >> THANK YOU, JASMINE. TROYE, WHAT DO WE DO NEXT? 1588 01:00:32,329 --> 01:00:35,430 >> THANK YOU, JASMINE. TROYE, WHAT DO WE DO NEXT? >> IT'S TIME TO GO. 1589 01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:38,200 TROYE, WHAT DO WE DO NEXT? >> IT'S TIME TO GO. >> AWE, WELL, TO PLAY US OFF, 1590 01:00:38,202 --> 01:00:40,268 >> IT'S TIME TO GO. >> AWE, WELL, TO PLAY US OFF, I'M GOING TO SING A SONG I WROTE 1591 01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:41,470 >> AWE, WELL, TO PLAY US OFF, I'M GOING TO SING A SONG I WROTE ABOUT CANVASSING. 1592 01:00:41,472 --> 01:00:42,437 I'M GOING TO SING A SONG I WROTE ABOUT CANVASSING. TROYE, BUMP THAT. 1593 01:00:42,439 --> 01:00:45,640 ABOUT CANVASSING. TROYE, BUMP THAT. ¶ YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE UNDECIDED, 1594 01:00:45,642 --> 01:00:47,209 TROYE, BUMP THAT. ¶ YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE UNDECIDED, BUT WE CAN'T CONNECT YOUR RING 1595 01:00:47,211 --> 01:00:49,945 ¶ YOU SAY THAT YOU'RE UNDECIDED, BUT WE CAN'T CONNECT YOUR RING CAM THAT'S WORKING OUT ON YOUR 1596 01:00:49,947 --> 01:00:50,245 BUT WE CAN'T CONNECT YOUR RING CAM THAT'S WORKING OUT ON YOUR STOOP. 1597 01:00:50,247 --> 01:00:57,352 CAM THAT'S WORKING OUT ON YOUR STOOP. GI, S 1598 01:01:08,364 --> 01:01:23,111 >>> ONCE AGAIN, JELLY ROLL! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ 1599 01:01:23,113 --> 01:01:29,217 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ ¶ THE BROKEN GLASS OF A BOTTLE, 1600 01:01:29,219 --> 01:01:32,420 ¶¶ ¶ THE BROKEN GLASS OF A BOTTLE, AND RIGHT NOW, I GOT TWO SHAKY 1601 01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:36,558 ¶ THE BROKEN GLASS OF A BOTTLE, AND RIGHT NOW, I GOT TWO SHAKY HANDS, ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP 1602 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:36,925 AND RIGHT NOW, I GOT TWO SHAKY HANDS, ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP THEM ¶ 1603 01:01:36,927 --> 01:01:37,659 HANDS, ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP THEM ¶ HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP IN SEVEN 1604 01:01:37,661 --> 01:01:38,326 THEM ¶ HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP IN SEVEN HOURS THREE MINUTES HARDLY 1605 01:01:38,328 --> 01:01:39,261 HAVEN'T TOUCHED A DROP IN SEVEN HOURS THREE MINUTES HARDLY SOBERED UP ALREADY WANT TO QUIT 1606 01:01:39,263 --> 01:01:40,362 HOURS THREE MINUTES HARDLY SOBERED UP ALREADY WANT TO QUIT QUITTIN' SWEATIN' IN AN OLD 1607 01:01:40,364 --> 01:01:44,966 SOBERED UP ALREADY WANT TO QUIT QUITTIN' SWEATIN' IN AN OLD CHURCH BASEMENT WISHIN' I WAS 1608 01:01:44,968 --> 01:01:47,302 QUITTIN' SWEATIN' IN AN OLD CHURCH BASEMENT WISHIN' I WAS ¶ NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY 1609 01:01:47,304 --> 01:01:50,238 CHURCH BASEMENT WISHIN' I WAS ¶ NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS, HELLO, MY NAME IS JASON. 1610 01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:52,741 ¶ NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS, HELLO, MY NAME IS JASON. ¶ AND I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, 1611 01:01:52,743 --> 01:01:55,143 THIS, HELLO, MY NAME IS JASON. ¶ AND I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ 1612 01:01:55,145 --> 01:01:57,913 ¶ AND I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ ¶ AND I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE 1613 01:01:57,915 --> 01:01:59,648 I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ ¶ AND I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ 1614 01:01:59,650 --> 01:02:02,918 ¶ AND I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS 1615 01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:07,989 RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 1616 01:02:07,991 --> 01:02:09,524 ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN ¶ 1617 01:02:09,526 --> 01:02:10,258 SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN ¶ CLEAN HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S 1618 01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:11,092 YEARS CLEAN ¶ CLEAN HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT NOBODY 1619 01:02:11,094 --> 01:02:16,565 CLEAN HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT NOBODY WALKS THROUGH THESE DOORS ON A 1620 01:02:16,567 --> 01:02:19,067 FELT THE SAME DEFEAT NOBODY WALKS THROUGH THESE DOORS ON A WINNING STREAK ¶ 1621 01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:26,908 WALKS THROUGH THESE DOORS ON A WINNING STREAK ¶ ¶ HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HEY, HOLD ON 1622 01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:28,844 WINNING STREAK ¶ ¶ HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HEY, HOLD ON THE BROKEN MAN IN THE MIRROR 1623 01:02:28,846 --> 01:02:31,012 ¶ HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HEY, HOLD ON THE BROKEN MAN IN THE MIRROR CAN'T LOOK AT ME BECAUSE HE'S 1624 01:02:31,014 --> 01:02:32,781 THE BROKEN MAN IN THE MIRROR CAN'T LOOK AT ME BECAUSE HE'S GUILTY, AND I SWEAR THE LAST 1625 01:02:32,783 --> 01:02:34,783 CAN'T LOOK AT ME BECAUSE HE'S GUILTY, AND I SWEAR THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS THAT -- TRIED TO 1626 01:02:34,785 --> 01:02:35,283 GUILTY, AND I SWEAR THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS THAT -- TRIED TO KILL ME. 1627 01:02:35,285 --> 01:02:37,485 COUPLE MONTHS THAT -- TRIED TO KILL ME. BY THE TIME I SAW IT COMING, WAS 1628 01:02:37,487 --> 01:02:41,356 KILL ME. BY THE TIME I SAW IT COMING, WAS DONE WITH IT ALREADY. 1629 01:02:41,358 --> 01:02:41,923 BY THE TIME I SAW IT COMING, WAS DONE WITH IT ALREADY. ¶ IT'S HARD TO 1630 01:02:41,925 --> 01:02:42,657 DONE WITH IT ALREADY. ¶ IT'S HARD TO TO RUN FROM IT WHEN IT RUNS IN 1631 01:02:42,659 --> 01:02:43,325 ¶ IT'S HARD TO TO RUN FROM IT WHEN IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY A PROBLEM WITH A 1632 01:02:43,327 --> 01:02:46,928 TO RUN FROM IT WHEN IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY A PROBLEM WITH A THOUSAND MORE IT'S CAUSING DAMN 1633 01:02:46,930 --> 01:02:47,996 THE FAMILY A PROBLEM WITH A THOUSAND MORE IT'S CAUSING DAMN THIS IS EXHAUSTING, THIS IS WHY 1634 01:02:47,998 --> 01:02:50,599 THOUSAND MORE IT'S CAUSING DAMN THIS IS EXHAUSTING, THIS IS WHY I WALKED IN ¶ 1635 01:02:50,601 --> 01:02:52,868 THIS IS EXHAUSTING, THIS IS WHY I WALKED IN ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, I'VE 1636 01:02:52,870 --> 01:02:55,370 I WALKED IN ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ 1637 01:02:55,372 --> 01:02:56,838 ¶ I'VE BEEN LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN 1638 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,574 BEEN LOSING MY MIND ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY, I WAS 1639 01:02:59,576 --> 01:03:02,711 ¶ I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY, I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT 1640 01:03:02,713 --> 01:03:09,985 JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY, I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS 1641 01:03:09,987 --> 01:03:10,385 SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN ¶ 1642 01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:12,187 TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN ¶ ¶ HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S FELT 1643 01:03:12,189 --> 01:03:14,189 CLEAN ¶ ¶ HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT, NOBODY WALKS 1644 01:03:14,191 --> 01:03:20,929 ¶ HE SAID EVERYBODY HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT, NOBODY WALKS THROUGH HERE ON A WINNING 1645 01:03:20,931 --> 01:03:21,329 THE SAME DEFEAT, NOBODY WALKS THROUGH HERE ON A WINNING STREAK ¶ 1646 01:03:21,331 --> 01:03:23,632 THROUGH HERE ON A WINNING STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M TIRED OF BEING BROKEN, I'M 1647 01:03:23,634 --> 01:03:26,468 STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M TIRED OF BEING BROKEN, I'M SICK OF FEELING HOPELESS, WAY 1648 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:29,437 ¶ I'M TIRED OF BEING BROKEN, I'M SICK OF FEELING HOPELESS, WAY DOWN HERE AT MY LOWEST ¶ 1649 01:03:29,439 --> 01:03:31,773 SICK OF FEELING HOPELESS, WAY DOWN HERE AT MY LOWEST ¶ ¶ AT THE END OF MY ROPE, AT THE 1650 01:03:31,775 --> 01:03:39,614 DOWN HERE AT MY LOWEST ¶ ¶ AT THE END OF MY ROPE, AT THE END OF MY ROPE, SO WHAT DO I DO, 1651 01:03:39,616 --> 01:03:45,153 ¶ AT THE END OF MY ROPE, AT THE END OF MY ROPE, SO WHAT DO I DO, SO WHAT DO I DO, SO WHAT DO I 1652 01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:45,520 END OF MY ROPE, SO WHAT DO I DO, SO WHAT DO I DO, SO WHAT DO I DO ¶ 1653 01:03:45,522 --> 01:03:49,190 SO WHAT DO I DO, SO WHAT DO I DO ¶ ¶ AND I'VE LOSING MYSELF, I'VE 1654 01:03:49,192 --> 01:03:51,259 DO ¶ ¶ AND I'VE LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND, AND I'VE 1655 01:03:51,261 --> 01:03:54,362 ¶ AND I'VE LOSING MYSELF, I'VE BEEN LOSING MY MIND, AND I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST 1656 01:03:54,364 --> 01:03:56,364 BEEN LOSING MY MIND, AND I'VE BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ 1657 01:03:56,366 --> 01:03:59,267 BEEN STANDING IN THE RAIN JUST TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS 1658 01:03:59,269 --> 01:04:02,137 TRYING TO STAY DRY ¶ ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 1659 01:04:02,139 --> 01:04:03,772 ¶ I WAS SO ASHAMED TO BE IN THIS SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN, HE SAID EVERYBODY 1660 01:04:03,774 --> 01:04:06,341 SEAT TIL I MET A MAN WHO WAS 20 YEARS CLEAN, HE SAID EVERYBODY IN HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT ¶ 1661 01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:08,043 YEARS CLEAN, HE SAID EVERYBODY IN HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT ¶ ¶ NOBODY WALKS THROUGH THESE 1662 01:04:08,045 --> 01:04:14,950 IN HERE'S FELT THE SAME DEFEAT ¶ ¶ NOBODY WALKS THROUGH THESE DOORS ON A WINNING STREAK, HOLD 1663 01:04:14,952 --> 01:04:22,324 ¶ NOBODY WALKS THROUGH THESE DOORS ON A WINNING STREAK, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON ¶ 1664 01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:26,594 DOORS ON A WINNING STREAK, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1665 01:04:39,275 --> 01:04:43,144 >>> YOU'RE WATCHING BRAVO. LATER IT'S MILLION DOLLAR ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT. 1666 01:04:43,146 --> 01:04:45,380 LATER IT'S MILLION DOLLAR ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT. BUT NOW WE RETURN TO THE REAL 1667 01:04:45,382 --> 01:04:46,548 BEDROOM APARTMENT. BUT NOW WE RETURN TO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SANTA FE. 1668 01:04:46,550 --> 01:04:47,983 BUT NOW WE RETURN TO THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF SANTA FE. >> THINGS HAVE BEEN TENSE 1669 01:04:47,985 --> 01:04:49,351 HOUSEWIVES OF SANTA FE. >> THINGS HAVE BEEN TENSE BETWEEN JILL AND LOUISE SINCE 1670 01:04:49,353 --> 01:04:51,786 >> THINGS HAVE BEEN TENSE BETWEEN JILL AND LOUISE SINCE THE GIRLS' TRIP TO LAKE MEAD, SO 1671 01:04:51,788 --> 01:04:55,757 BETWEEN JILL AND LOUISE SINCE THE GIRLS' TRIP TO LAKE MEAD, SO WE'RE ALL GETTING DINNER AT 1672 01:04:55,759 --> 01:04:57,525 THE GIRLS' TRIP TO LAKE MEAD, SO WE'RE ALL GETTING DINNER AT RANCH HILL MEXICAN TO CLEAR THE 1673 01:04:57,527 --> 01:04:58,059 WE'RE ALL GETTING DINNER AT RANCH HILL MEXICAN TO CLEAR THE AIR. 1674 01:04:58,061 --> 01:05:00,328 RANCH HILL MEXICAN TO CLEAR THE AIR. >> I'M SO GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS. 1675 01:05:00,330 --> 01:05:01,363 AIR. >> I'M SO GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS. >> UGH, SAME. 1676 01:05:01,365 --> 01:05:03,431 >> I'M SO GLAD WE'RE DOING THIS. >> UGH, SAME. I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM 1677 01:05:03,433 --> 01:05:05,333 >> UGH, SAME. I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM RUNNING MY NEW MAKEUP LINE, 1678 01:05:05,335 --> 01:05:06,167 I NEEDED TO GET AWAY FROM RUNNING MY NEW MAKEUP LINE, BEAUTY BY JILL. 1679 01:05:06,169 --> 01:05:07,068 RUNNING MY NEW MAKEUP LINE, BEAUTY BY JILL. IT'S BEEN SO MUCH WORK, YOU 1680 01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:07,369 BEAUTY BY JILL. IT'S BEEN SO MUCH WORK, YOU GUYS. 1681 01:05:07,371 --> 01:05:09,070 IT'S BEEN SO MUCH WORK, YOU GUYS. >> GIVE ME A BREAK. 1682 01:05:09,072 --> 01:05:13,608 GUYS. >> GIVE ME A BREAK. >> EXCUSE ME? 1683 01:05:13,610 --> 01:05:14,809 >> GIVE ME A BREAK. >> EXCUSE ME? IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, 1684 01:05:14,811 --> 01:05:15,410 >> EXCUSE ME? IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, 1685 01:05:15,412 --> 01:05:16,277 IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, 1686 01:05:16,279 --> 01:05:18,980 LOUISE, JUST SAY IT. >> YOU BRING UP BEAUTY BY JILL 1687 01:05:18,982 --> 01:05:20,782 LOUISE, JUST SAY IT. >> YOU BRING UP BEAUTY BY JILL EVERY FIVE SECONDS, I'M SICK OF 1688 01:05:20,784 --> 01:05:21,316 >> YOU BRING UP BEAUTY BY JILL EVERY FIVE SECONDS, I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT. 1689 01:05:21,318 --> 01:05:24,185 EVERY FIVE SECONDS, I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT IT. >> WELL, YOU'RE NOT A BUSINESS 1690 01:05:24,187 --> 01:05:26,421 HEARING ABOUT IT. >> WELL, YOU'RE NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN, LOUISE, SO YOU DON'T 1691 01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:26,821 >> WELL, YOU'RE NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN, LOUISE, SO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1692 01:05:26,823 --> 01:05:28,890 WOMAN, LOUISE, SO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. >> NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? 1693 01:05:28,892 --> 01:05:31,259 UNDERSTAND. >> NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? MY HUSBAND AND I OWN OWN 1694 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:33,895 >> NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? MY HUSBAND AND I OWN OWN BUSINESSES ALL OVER THE TOWN, 1695 01:05:33,897 --> 01:05:34,262 MY HUSBAND AND I OWN OWN BUSINESSES ALL OVER THE TOWN, SWEETIE. 1696 01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:35,563 BUSINESSES ALL OVER THE TOWN, SWEETIE. >> YOUR HUSBAND MADE A PASS AT 1697 01:05:35,565 --> 01:05:37,399 SWEETIE. >> YOUR HUSBAND MADE A PASS AT ME AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY. 1698 01:05:37,401 --> 01:05:39,334 >> YOUR HUSBAND MADE A PASS AT ME AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY. >> BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A 1699 01:05:39,336 --> 01:05:39,934 ME AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY. >> BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A HORSE, BITCH! 1700 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:40,702 >> BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A HORSE, BITCH! >> OKAY. 1701 01:05:40,704 --> 01:05:43,905 HORSE, BITCH! >> OKAY. WHO'S READY FOR FAJITAS. 1702 01:05:43,907 --> 01:05:46,474 >> OKAY. WHO'S READY FOR FAJITAS. >> HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! 1703 01:05:46,476 --> 01:05:48,043 WHO'S READY FOR FAJITAS. >> HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! >> THAT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE. 1704 01:05:48,045 --> 01:05:50,311 >> HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! >> THAT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE. >> STAY OUT OF THIS, BRIE, 1705 01:05:50,313 --> 01:05:51,880 >> THAT WAS WAY OUT OF LINE. >> STAY OUT OF THIS, BRIE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BIDS WOMAN. 1706 01:05:51,882 --> 01:05:55,517 >> STAY OUT OF THIS, BRIE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BIDS WOMAN. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS 1707 01:05:55,519 --> 01:05:55,850 YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BIDS WOMAN. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? 1708 01:05:55,852 --> 01:05:58,653 >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? CANDLES BY BRIE IS NOT A 1709 01:05:58,655 --> 01:05:59,020 WOMAN? CANDLES BY BRIE IS NOT A BUSINESS? 1710 01:05:59,022 --> 01:06:00,922 CANDLES BY BRIE IS NOT A BUSINESS? >> WATCH OUT. 1711 01:06:00,924 --> 01:06:01,289 BUSINESS? >> WATCH OUT. IT'S HOT. 1712 01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:03,491 >> WATCH OUT. IT'S HOT. >> YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE EGGS, 1713 01:06:03,493 --> 01:06:03,825 IT'S HOT. >> YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE EGGS, LOUISE. 1714 01:06:03,827 --> 01:06:07,262 >> YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE EGGS, LOUISE. >> LADIES, PLEASE, LET'S NOT 1715 01:06:07,264 --> 01:06:08,696 LOUISE. >> LADIES, PLEASE, LET'S NOT RUIN DINNER. 1716 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,132 >> LADIES, PLEASE, LET'S NOT RUIN DINNER. >> SHUT UP, YVONNE, YOU'RE NOT 1717 01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:12,200 RUIN DINNER. >> SHUT UP, YVONNE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BUSINESS WOMAN. 1718 01:06:12,202 --> 01:06:14,436 >> SHUT UP, YVONNE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BUSINESS WOMAN. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS 1719 01:06:14,438 --> 01:06:14,736 EVEN A BUSINESS WOMAN. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? 1720 01:06:14,738 --> 01:06:16,771 >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? >> I JUST NEED A LITTLE ROOM FOR 1721 01:06:16,773 --> 01:06:17,105 WOMAN? >> I JUST NEED A LITTLE ROOM FOR THESE. 1722 01:06:17,107 --> 01:06:19,107 >> I JUST NEED A LITTLE ROOM FOR THESE. >> BABY, IF YOU NEED TO PUT THEM 1723 01:06:19,109 --> 01:06:20,375 THESE. >> BABY, IF YOU NEED TO PUT THEM DOWN, PUT THEM DOWN. 1724 01:06:20,377 --> 01:06:22,544 >> BABY, IF YOU NEED TO PUT THEM DOWN, PUT THEM DOWN. TELL ME HOW HATS BY YVONNE IS 1725 01:06:22,546 --> 01:06:23,645 DOWN, PUT THEM DOWN. TELL ME HOW HATS BY YVONNE IS NOT A BUSINESS. 1726 01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:26,014 TELL ME HOW HATS BY YVONNE IS NOT A BUSINESS. >> WELL, THIS ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT 1727 01:06:26,016 --> 01:06:26,314 NOT A BUSINESS. >> WELL, THIS ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. 1728 01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:27,982 >> WELL, THIS ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. >> I AM A BUSINESS WOMAN! 1729 01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,085 YOU. >> I AM A BUSINESS WOMAN! AND A MOTHER, AND WHEN YOU 1730 01:06:30,087 --> 01:06:33,288 >> I AM A BUSINESS WOMAN! AND A MOTHER, AND WHEN YOU DISRESPECT MY BUSINESS, HATS BY 1731 01:06:33,290 --> 01:06:34,889 AND A MOTHER, AND WHEN YOU DISRESPECT MY BUSINESS, HATS BY YVONNE, YOU DISRESPECT MY 1732 01:06:34,891 --> 01:06:36,191 DISRESPECT MY BUSINESS, HATS BY YVONNE, YOU DISRESPECT MY CHILDREN AND MY CHILDREN'S 1733 01:06:36,193 --> 01:06:37,926 YVONNE, YOU DISRESPECT MY CHILDREN AND MY CHILDREN'S BUSINESSES AS WELL, AND THAT I 1734 01:06:37,928 --> 01:06:39,227 CHILDREN AND MY CHILDREN'S BUSINESSES AS WELL, AND THAT I WILL NOT ALLOW. 1735 01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:40,295 BUSINESSES AS WELL, AND THAT I WILL NOT ALLOW. SIR, WHAT IS THIS? 1736 01:06:40,297 --> 01:06:41,296 WILL NOT ALLOW. SIR, WHAT IS THIS? I DIDN'T ORDER THIS. 1737 01:06:41,298 --> 01:06:43,264 SIR, WHAT IS THIS? I DIDN'T ORDER THIS. I ORDERED FAJITAS. 1738 01:06:43,266 --> 01:06:45,233 I DIDN'T ORDER THIS. I ORDERED FAJITAS. >> THESE ARE FAJITAS. 1739 01:06:45,235 --> 01:06:46,534 I ORDERED FAJITAS. >> THESE ARE FAJITAS. >> WELL THEN THEY'RE NOT WHAT I 1740 01:06:46,536 --> 01:06:47,068 >> THESE ARE FAJITAS. >> WELL THEN THEY'RE NOT WHAT I THOUGHT THEY WERE. 1741 01:06:47,070 --> 01:06:51,172 >> WELL THEN THEY'RE NOT WHAT I THOUGHT THEY WERE. PLEASE TAKE THEM BACK. 1742 01:06:51,174 --> 01:06:53,108 THOUGHT THEY WERE. PLEASE TAKE THEM BACK. KAREN'S HUSBAND IS 105. 1743 01:06:53,110 --> 01:06:54,843 PLEASE TAKE THEM BACK. KAREN'S HUSBAND IS 105. >> HOW DARE YOU. 1744 01:06:54,845 --> 01:06:58,046 KAREN'S HUSBAND IS 105. >> HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY 1745 01:06:58,048 --> 01:06:58,913 >> HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY 105-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND? 1746 01:06:58,915 --> 01:07:00,381 HOW DARE YOU BRING UP MY 105-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND? HOW DARE YOU! 1747 01:07:00,383 --> 01:07:03,818 105-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND? HOW DARE YOU! >> SWEETIE, PLEASE, THE BUSINESS 1748 01:07:03,820 --> 01:07:06,588 HOW DARE YOU! >> SWEETIE, PLEASE, THE BUSINESS WOMEN ARE TALKING. 1749 01:07:06,590 --> 01:07:09,257 >> SWEETIE, PLEASE, THE BUSINESS WOMEN ARE TALKING. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS 1750 01:07:09,259 --> 01:07:09,591 WOMEN ARE TALKING. >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? 1751 01:07:09,593 --> 01:07:11,326 >> SO NOW I'M NOT A BUSINESS WOMAN? SO NOW FULL PROFIT PRISONS ARE 1752 01:07:11,328 --> 01:07:12,227 WOMAN? SO NOW FULL PROFIT PRISONS ARE NOT A BUSINESS. 1753 01:07:12,229 --> 01:07:13,361 SO NOW FULL PROFIT PRISONS ARE NOT A BUSINESS. I CAN'T STAND THIS. 1754 01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:15,363 NOT A BUSINESS. I CAN'T STAND THIS. YOU WOMEN ARE ALWAYS FAKE! 1755 01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:16,598 I CAN'T STAND THIS. YOU WOMEN ARE ALWAYS FAKE! I DON'T NEED THIS. 1756 01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,533 YOU WOMEN ARE ALWAYS FAKE! I DON'T NEED THIS. YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU'RE A 1757 01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:20,535 I DON'T NEED THIS. YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER, AND I DON'T EVEN 1758 01:07:20,537 --> 01:07:22,570 YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU'RE A HOME WRECKER, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE. 1759 01:07:22,572 --> 01:07:24,472 HOME WRECKER, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE. >> I'M JUST TRYING TO PUT DOWN 1760 01:07:24,474 --> 01:07:26,474 KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE. >> I'M JUST TRYING TO PUT DOWN THE FAJITAS. 1761 01:07:26,476 --> 01:07:28,276 >> I'M JUST TRYING TO PUT DOWN THE FAJITAS. >> THEY'VE BEEN VERY LOUD AND 1762 01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:29,777 THE FAJITAS. >> THEY'VE BEEN VERY LOUD AND MADE THE WHOLE PLACE SMELL. 1763 01:07:29,779 --> 01:07:32,747 >> THEY'VE BEEN VERY LOUD AND MADE THE WHOLE PLACE SMELL. >> LOUISE, PLEASE SIT DOWN, 1764 01:07:32,749 --> 01:07:33,181 MADE THE WHOLE PLACE SMELL. >> LOUISE, PLEASE SIT DOWN, DON'T GO. 1765 01:07:33,183 --> 01:07:34,382 >> LOUISE, PLEASE SIT DOWN, DON'T GO. >> THANK YOU FOR LUNCH. 1766 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:36,151 DON'T GO. >> THANK YOU FOR LUNCH. SIR, COULD YOU PLEASE BOX THIS 1767 01:07:36,153 --> 01:07:36,918 >> THANK YOU FOR LUNCH. SIR, COULD YOU PLEASE BOX THIS UP FOR MY HUSBAND? 1768 01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:42,123 SIR, COULD YOU PLEASE BOX THIS UP FOR MY HUSBAND? >> YOU WANT TO TAKE ALL THE 1769 01:07:42,125 --> 01:07:42,857 UP FOR MY HUSBAND? >> YOU WANT TO TAKE ALL THE FAJITAS? 1770 01:07:42,859 --> 01:07:43,224 >> YOU WANT TO TAKE ALL THE FAJITAS? >> YES. 1771 01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:46,294 FAJITAS? >> YES. >> GO AHEAD, RUN AWAY TO YOUR 1772 01:07:46,296 --> 01:07:49,464 >> YES. >> GO AHEAD, RUN AWAY TO YOUR SHORT TINY HUSBAND IN HIS SHINY 1773 01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:49,797 >> GO AHEAD, RUN AWAY TO YOUR SHORT TINY HUSBAND IN HIS SHINY SHIRT. 1774 01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:51,599 SHORT TINY HUSBAND IN HIS SHINY SHIRT. >> YOU READY TO GO? 1775 01:07:51,601 --> 01:07:53,635 SHIRT. >> YOU READY TO GO? >> ALL YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! 1776 01:07:53,637 --> 01:07:55,036 >> YOU READY TO GO? >> ALL YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! >> NICE TO SEE YOU GIRLS. 1777 01:07:55,038 --> 01:07:56,037 >> ALL YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! >> NICE TO SEE YOU GIRLS. >> OKAY. 1778 01:07:56,039 --> 01:08:01,075 >> NICE TO SEE YOU GIRLS. >> OKAY. GOT THE FAJITAS RIGHT HERE. 1779 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:02,810 >> OKAY. GOT THE FAJITAS RIGHT HERE. DID SHE LEAVE? 1780 01:08:02,812 --> 01:08:04,379 GOT THE FAJITAS RIGHT HERE. DID SHE LEAVE? >> YES. 1781 01:08:04,381 --> 01:08:06,314 DID SHE LEAVE? >> YES. >> WHERE IS OUR FOOD? 1782 01:08:06,316 --> 01:08:11,953 >> YES. >> WHERE IS OUR FOOD? >> IS THIS HOW YOU CONDUCT 1783 01:08:29,605 --> 01:08:44,285 >>> THANKS TO JELLY ROLL, MAYA RUDOLPH, JIM GAFFIGAN -- I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME!