1 00:02:55,628 --> 00:02:57,851 Boys, boys! 2 00:02:58,001 --> 00:03:02,998 Rabbi Jacob is leaving. C'mon, lets go and say goodbye. 3 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:27,319 Shalom, my friends. 4 00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:35,732 - Have a safe trip. - May you live in peace 5 00:03:36,112 --> 00:03:38,340 Have a "bon voyage" 6 00:03:38,706 --> 00:03:43,371 Reb Samuel, please, 30 years since he was in in Paris, France. 7 00:03:43,463 --> 00:03:47,586 - Please keep an eye out on 'mein' husband. - Of course. 8 00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:52,529 'Rebbe', what I got for you they never heard in Paris, France. 9 00:03:52,676 --> 00:03:54,760 One of my cheesecakes. 10 00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:59,905 Give it to David for a bar mitzvah present. 11 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,487 Absolutely, absolutely! 12 00:04:08,309 --> 00:04:11,969 Hey mac, I don't have all day. 13 00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:14,958 - Let's go, huh? - Yes my boy. Yes. 14 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:18,383 Come with me to the airport, all of you. 15 00:04:30,248 --> 00:04:33,366 Hey, this is a taxi, not a synagogue. 16 00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:34,872 Ok, move over. 17 00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:39,119 Jacob, don't forget to give a big kiss to our nephew Solomon. 18 00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:42,167 And also Esther and Tzippe and Moishe. 19 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,893 I give, I give. All the Schmoll family. 20 00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:47,102 Jacob, you know what I want? 21 00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:50,586 I want more 'Je Reviens' perfume. 22 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:51,913 Bye, bye. 23 00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:56,155 Ok, 'Je Reviens'. Je Reviens! 24 00:05:03,276 --> 00:05:06,263 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 25 00:05:06,366 --> 00:05:08,716 ♪ Dai dai dai 26 00:05:08,833 --> 00:05:14,602 No Samuel, not "dai dai dai". It's French... France! 27 00:05:15,435 --> 00:05:18,211 ♪ I will see my Normandy. 28 00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:21,860 ♪ The land that gave life to me 29 00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:35,818 What's going on? Will you hurry, please, driver. 30 00:05:35,896 --> 00:05:38,606 Hey, what do you want, miracles? 31 00:05:40,665 --> 00:05:44,328 Don't worry, Rabbi, we'll catch your plane. C'mon! 32 00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,805 Ready? One, two, three! 33 00:06:25,355 --> 00:06:28,341 You see my boy? That's a miracle. 34 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:22,611 - Monsieur, may I take the wheel? - You're a pain in the neck! 35 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,053 Monsieur, watch out! 36 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:31,031 What the hell's he doing in the emergency lane? 37 00:07:33,659 --> 00:07:36,207 See that, an Englishman! 38 00:07:36,715 --> 00:07:39,795 I don't like the English. Do you? 39 00:07:39,846 --> 00:07:42,229 - Yeah. - I don't. 40 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:46,770 - Look, Solomon! - What? - See, a Swiss and a German. 41 00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:49,159 - So? - Swiss and German. 42 00:07:49,224 --> 00:07:51,827 This isn't France anymore! 43 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,321 Now we're behind a Belgian! 44 00:07:58,368 --> 00:08:01,479 - Belgians! - Why, don't you like Belgians, either? 45 00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:06,289 They pollute us, those Belgians! Look at his exhaust. Belgian ehaust! 46 00:08:06,596 --> 00:08:10,138 Hold on, I'll pass him. I'll 'tres-pass' him. 47 00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:29,718 Woah, woah! 48 00:08:31,873 --> 00:08:34,254 Look at that, Solomon. Look! 49 00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:36,002 Yeah. What? 50 00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:40,147 It's clean, quiet no smoke. He's a Frenchman! 51 00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,544 Monsieur. 52 00:08:41,598 --> 00:08:44,354 Can't you line up like everyone else? 53 00:08:44,406 --> 00:08:47,295 Moron, cretin, cuckhold... meathead! 54 00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:49,706 Hear that? Now THAT'S French! 55 00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:52,272 In the emergency lane, too! 56 00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:58,419 - You got no shame! - Woof... woof! Grr! 57 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:03,795 Hey, are you finished?! 58 00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:09,131 - What is it? - You can see, a wedding! 59 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,484 I'm also marrying off my daughter. Come on let me pass. 60 00:09:28,619 --> 00:09:32,477 - Did you see the bride? - Yes. - She's black. 61 00:09:34,947 --> 00:09:38,787 Not cafe-au-lait, but black! And he's white! 62 00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:40,460 So? 63 00:09:40,834 --> 00:09:43,247 He's white, she's black... 64 00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:44,991 Black. Oh, pfft! 65 00:10:04,766 --> 00:10:07,567 Hey, Solomon, c'mon! 66 00:10:07,903 --> 00:10:09,738 Yes sir, coming. 67 00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:13,336 Let me pass, my daughter's getting married. 68 00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:16,821 Ah, that's your daughter? Congratulations. 69 00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:20,687 No, she's not my daughter. The bride's black! 70 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,121 Monsieur, Monsieur! 71 00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:04,130 See that, Solomon? They have cars, now. 72 00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:06,274 Blacks in white Rolls! 73 00:11:06,336 --> 00:11:09,035 - It couldn't happen to you, Sir. - What? 74 00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:11,511 Your daughter marrying a black man. 75 00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:15,671 - Waddaya mean by that? - Monsieur is rather racist. - Racist? 76 00:11:15,725 --> 00:11:18,832 Moi?! Racist? Solomon! Racist?! 77 00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:23,254 Thank God Antoinette is marrying a Frenchman 78 00:11:23,288 --> 00:11:26,730 A thoroughly white one. Even a bit pale. Huh? 79 00:11:26,964 --> 00:11:29,922 - And pimply. - How about that lisp? 80 00:11:29,985 --> 00:11:33,932 He lisps, but he's rich, like me. And Catholic, like everyone. 81 00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:38,234 Not everyone, Monsieur. Me, for example, I'm Jewish. 82 00:11:41,710 --> 00:11:43,533 You're Jewish? 83 00:11:43,924 --> 00:11:46,708 How's that? Solomon is Jewish? 84 00:11:47,338 --> 00:11:49,368 Solomon is Jewish, oh! 85 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:53,187 And my uncle Jacob, coming from New York, is a rabbi. 86 00:11:53,596 --> 00:11:56,055 - But he's not Jewish? - Oh, yes. 87 00:11:57,061 --> 00:11:59,895 - Not your whole family? - Oh, yes. 88 00:12:02,864 --> 00:12:05,830 Doesn't matter, I'll keep you on anyway. 89 00:12:08,422 --> 00:12:10,817 - That'll be Madame. - We're late. 90 00:12:10,842 --> 00:12:14,362 - Monsieur's gonna get it! - OK, enough of that! 91 00:12:15,462 --> 00:12:18,709 - Hello, Victor? - Hello, Germaine... 92 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:22,089 Let me explain!...Bla bla 93 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,940 Bla, bla... 94 00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:27,661 Quiet, Victor! You're a liar, a hypocrite, and a fake. 95 00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:31,536 You, be quiet too! If you wanna marry my daughter tomorrow 96 00:12:31,561 --> 00:12:34,516 - I must finish you today. - What? - Your crowns. 97 00:12:34,613 --> 00:12:37,348 How do I know for sure... 98 00:12:37,433 --> 00:12:40,577 Shh! How do I know you were alone in Deauville? 99 00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:42,092 She's madly jealous! 100 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,638 With good reason. Monsieur, is such a hunk. 101 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:45,548 Hello, Victor? 102 00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:47,949 I forbid you to hang up. 103 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,843 Fine, wait. Wait now. Wait 104 00:12:56,303 --> 00:12:58,887 Damn! Watch the road! 105 00:13:00,511 --> 00:13:02,431 - Tell me, Germaine. - Yes? 106 00:13:02,514 --> 00:13:04,697 - Did you know? - Know what? 107 00:13:04,736 --> 00:13:07,054 - Solomon... - What about Solomon? 108 00:13:07,101 --> 00:13:08,857 - Is Jewish. - So? 109 00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:10,609 The truck, the truck! 110 00:13:29,657 --> 00:13:31,865 Solomon? Solomon! 111 00:13:32,317 --> 00:13:33,901 Hey, Solomon! 112 00:13:51,992 --> 00:13:53,784 There he is. 113 00:14:18,602 --> 00:14:19,935 Garcon? 114 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,985 A peppermint cordial. 115 00:14:31,615 --> 00:14:33,606 M. Slimane. 116 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:37,624 Telephone for M. Slimane. 117 00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:40,090 That's me. 118 00:14:52,734 --> 00:14:55,011 Booth 2, Monsieur. 119 00:15:02,756 --> 00:15:03,888 Hello? 120 00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:06,752 - Mohammed Larbi Slimane? - That's me. 121 00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:08,556 Nobody's meeting you. 122 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:11,692 - You fell into our trap, Slimane. - Who is this? 123 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:14,791 - Fares is waiting in front of 'Les Deux Magots'. - Fares? 124 00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:17,733 You're not getting out of here alive. 125 00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:20,902 And your revolution ... *arkoum! 126 00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,227 Hello? 127 00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:25,842 Hello! 128 00:15:31,307 --> 00:15:33,386 In 30 seconds he'll come out. 129 00:15:33,446 --> 00:15:36,532 He'll see me, and try to run out the back. 130 00:15:36,586 --> 00:15:39,920 Colonel we can't snatch him in Saint Germain de Pres! 131 00:15:39,945 --> 00:15:42,560 - We had him earlier! - Shut up! 132 00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:46,297 Hurry, go wait on the other side. 133 00:16:01,388 --> 00:16:02,919 Fares. 134 00:16:57,301 --> 00:16:58,845 Hurry! 135 00:16:58,969 --> 00:17:00,595 Drive. 136 00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:17,169 Hello? 137 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,230 Hello? Hello! 138 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:22,705 Mademoiselle, don't hang up 139 00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:25,066 Hello! 140 00:17:25,274 --> 00:17:26,961 Move, you! 141 00:17:27,042 --> 00:17:30,429 Arrange to send a tow truck immediately. 142 00:17:30,595 --> 00:17:33,481 A tug boat, more likely. 143 00:17:33,995 --> 00:17:35,220 Help me! 144 00:17:35,269 --> 00:17:38,187 Pull! Don't make such a fuss. 145 00:17:38,312 --> 00:17:40,505 Hello, hello! What? 146 00:17:40,808 --> 00:17:43,501 A strike? That's all I need! 147 00:17:43,767 --> 00:17:47,144 - My factory' on strike. - Me too. I'm on strike. 148 00:17:47,236 --> 00:17:49,284 I'm fed up, I've had it! 149 00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:51,850 What did you say? What? What? 150 00:17:51,965 --> 00:17:54,362 - Fed up! - Take that! 151 00:17:54,678 --> 00:17:58,533 Hello, I forbid them to strike, you hear? 152 00:17:58,822 --> 00:18:01,387 No! I'm telling you, no. 153 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,262 Listen, just do as usual. 154 00:18:04,348 --> 00:18:07,767 You promise everything, and I give nothing. 155 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,968 Solomon, a car! 156 00:18:10,085 --> 00:18:11,474 Aah! 157 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,440 Hey! Hey! 158 00:18:16,134 --> 00:18:20,930 Hey, hey! Stop, stop. 159 00:18:27,152 --> 00:18:30,116 Punks, egoists, dirty bastards! 160 00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:34,092 Straight, then first on the left. 161 00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:36,683 The factory's at the end of the lane. 162 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:41,545 Night is falling. We must absolutely find a tow truck. 163 00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,488 - Solomon. - Yes sir. 164 00:18:43,598 --> 00:18:47,103 Turn on the lights so they can find us easier. 165 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,116 - No, Sir. - What? 166 00:18:49,156 --> 00:18:52,131 I'm not allowed to put the lights on. 167 00:18:52,236 --> 00:18:56,188 - Sir knows, I can't work on Saturday. - But, it's Friday. 168 00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:59,177 For us Sabbath starts Friday at sundown. 169 00:18:59,246 --> 00:19:01,904 And on Sabbath I can't work. 170 00:19:06,142 --> 00:19:09,558 Let's go, my beloved, *♪ Lechah dodi, 171 00:19:09,642 --> 00:19:13,402 Let's go, to meet the bride, ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 172 00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:17,648 let's welcome the presence of Shabbat ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah 173 00:19:17,702 --> 00:19:21,582 ♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah 174 00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:24,943 ♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah* 175 00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:29,188 Say, Solomon, can't you make an exception tonight? 176 00:19:29,273 --> 00:19:32,066 I'll give you two Sabbaths off next week. 177 00:19:32,121 --> 00:19:34,765 Evidently, Sir doesn't know the tradition. 178 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:39,121 I don't know any of your pantomimes and I'm proud of it! 179 00:19:40,816 --> 00:19:43,259 Sir isn't allowed to eat meat on Friday. 180 00:19:43,323 --> 00:19:46,957 I'm not allowed to use electricity Saturday. It's no dumber. 181 00:19:47,005 --> 00:19:49,917 - Yes it's dumber! - No it's not dumber! 182 00:19:51,854 --> 00:19:54,216 - Yes it's dumber. - No it's not dumber! 183 00:19:54,272 --> 00:19:56,977 I tell you it is, and give a week's notice! 184 00:19:57,023 --> 00:20:01,383 - Have your Sabbath every night! - Fine, as Monsieur wishes! 185 00:20:03,239 --> 00:20:04,884 Get out! 186 00:20:10,629 --> 00:20:13,041 Gdd... dmmn... yyyou! 187 00:20:46,522 --> 00:20:49,529 St Anthony of Padua, let me find a tow truck 188 00:20:49,585 --> 00:20:53,109 so I can fix my boat, my car, and hire a new chauffeur. 189 00:20:53,157 --> 00:20:55,714 A Catholic one, this time, I promise. 190 00:20:55,784 --> 00:20:58,882 Catholic like you, like me, like God. 191 00:21:00,074 --> 00:21:01,880 Oh, a light! 192 00:21:02,164 --> 00:21:04,220 Thank you, St Anthony. 193 00:21:21,788 --> 00:21:23,747 Anybody home? 194 00:21:26,191 --> 00:21:28,274 Concierge? 195 00:21:36,155 --> 00:21:37,645 Woah! 196 00:21:38,426 --> 00:21:40,117 Madame? 197 00:21:40,990 --> 00:21:42,738 Madame! 198 00:21:45,926 --> 00:21:47,564 Anybody home? 199 00:21:47,589 --> 00:21:48,853 (Ohhh!) 200 00:21:48,909 --> 00:21:51,139 Oh yeah, there's someone! 201 00:22:01,594 --> 00:22:03,889 - (Ohhhh!) - Aah! 202 00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:08,823 Aaahhh!! 203 00:23:07,676 --> 00:23:10,402 You'll end up talking, Slimane. 204 00:23:12,782 --> 00:23:15,069 What day? The coup d'etat. 205 00:23:15,106 --> 00:23:18,599 Which city? What time? Which regiment? 206 00:23:21,312 --> 00:23:23,645 The password, Slimane. 207 00:23:24,150 --> 00:23:26,369 You can murder me, Fares, 208 00:23:26,592 --> 00:23:29,853 but you can't pass yourself off as a judge. 209 00:23:46,085 --> 00:23:48,577 Ma t'Rhafeh! Slimane!* 210 00:23:49,168 --> 00:23:52,055 Halmatek! Smhat fik!* 211 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,973 The people are with me. 212 00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:57,208 Yes, but power is at the end of a gun. 213 00:23:57,274 --> 00:23:59,172 Mao Tse Tung! 214 00:24:04,259 --> 00:24:06,676 Mohammed Larbi Slimane, 215 00:24:07,509 --> 00:24:11,613 as a president of this counter-revolutionary tribunal, 216 00:24:12,738 --> 00:24:16,530 I find you guilty of treason. against our government 217 00:24:16,588 --> 00:24:19,552 - An toum houm el khawana! - Habess!* 218 00:24:19,685 --> 00:24:23,395 - An toum houm el khawana! - Oun ta put.* 219 00:24:23,547 --> 00:24:25,408 What's this mumbo-jumbo? 220 00:24:25,463 --> 00:24:27,213 Khawana! 221 00:24:30,462 --> 00:24:33,036 Gentlemen, your verdict. 222 00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:39,146 Death! 223 00:24:40,819 --> 00:24:44,400 Talk, Slimane, and your life will be spared. 224 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:49,201 A revolution is like a bicycle. If it doesn't move forward, it falls. 225 00:24:49,392 --> 00:24:51,556 Eddy Merckx. (Belgian cyclist) 226 00:24:51,581 --> 00:24:53,844 No, Che Guevara. 227 00:25:24,328 --> 00:25:25,765 Oh! 228 00:25:28,773 --> 00:25:30,841 Sh, sh... 229 00:25:32,413 --> 00:25:33,779 Sh. 230 00:25:53,186 --> 00:25:55,433 The police ... 17 ? 231 00:26:13,210 --> 00:26:15,994 Now then, the police is 22... 232 00:26:16,107 --> 00:26:17,620 17 233 00:26:29,523 --> 00:26:30,942 Aziz. 234 00:26:33,994 --> 00:26:36,422 - Hello? - Hello, police? 235 00:26:36,459 --> 00:26:37,826 Yes. 236 00:26:37,897 --> 00:26:42,195 - G-Get me the commissioner. Hurry. - This is the commissioner. 237 00:26:42,265 --> 00:26:46,448 Come immediately to the Yankee chewing-gum factory. 238 00:26:46,526 --> 00:26:49,456 - Chewing-gum? - Yes, chewing-gum... 239 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,034 And, who are you, sir? 240 00:26:53,065 --> 00:26:55,501 Victor Pivert. Manufacturer in Paris 241 00:26:55,543 --> 00:26:58,966 - Pivert? - Pivert. Like the green woodpecker. 242 00:27:05,298 --> 00:27:09,334 - I'm listening. - I had a car accident. 243 00:27:09,482 --> 00:27:11,060 I was looking for help 244 00:27:11,106 --> 00:27:14,761 when I ran into a gang of Wogs trying to kill each other. 245 00:27:14,854 --> 00:27:17,454 Wogs, you know, with brown faces. 246 00:27:17,865 --> 00:27:20,229 Where are you now? 247 00:27:20,291 --> 00:27:23,326 Here, in the factory office. Voila. 248 00:27:24,436 --> 00:27:28,338 Do not move. We're on our way. 249 00:27:28,564 --> 00:27:31,397 V-v-very nice of you. 250 00:27:33,951 --> 00:27:35,394 Hurry! 251 00:27:38,559 --> 00:27:42,238 Tell me M. Pivert; the Wogs, did you see them? 252 00:27:42,293 --> 00:27:46,645 I sure I did! Especially a fat oily one with his curly hair, 253 00:27:46,825 --> 00:27:50,347 and his tiny cruel eyes and black sun glasses. 254 00:27:51,608 --> 00:27:53,470 A real killer's face! 255 00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:55,850 Let them settle their scores. 256 00:27:55,897 --> 00:27:59,588 Fine! There'll be fewer of them. But not in our land. 257 00:27:59,643 --> 00:28:02,700 - Where are they? - Right here! 258 00:28:21,248 --> 00:28:23,231 Smash the door! *Kasser elbab!* 259 00:28:25,727 --> 00:28:27,483 Aaahh! 260 00:28:31,380 --> 00:28:32,890 I got him! 261 00:29:24,278 --> 00:29:25,988 Hey, hey! 262 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:27,869 Hurry! 263 00:30:22,064 --> 00:30:24,148 Aaahh! 264 00:30:44,251 --> 00:30:45,680 Allez! 265 00:31:39,904 --> 00:31:41,153 He escaped! 266 00:31:41,185 --> 00:31:44,111 Couldn't help it, Colonel. *Ou ana helech* 267 00:31:45,424 --> 00:31:47,066 Pivert, Victor Pivert. 268 00:31:47,091 --> 00:31:49,700 Black Citroen DS, number 438ZA75. 269 00:31:49,732 --> 00:31:52,979 - At the river. 3 or 4 Kms. - Are you coming? 270 00:31:53,035 --> 00:31:57,093 No, he fired me. For all I care, he can run home. 271 00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:03,550 Ah! 272 00:32:30,487 --> 00:32:32,071 There he is! 273 00:33:17,643 --> 00:33:19,274 *Ha houwa! Ha! 274 00:33:56,732 --> 00:34:00,485 - What are you doing here? - Shut up and don't move. 275 00:34:00,568 --> 00:34:04,927 - I must return to my country and you're gonna help me. - Me?! Oh... 276 00:34:15,331 --> 00:34:18,968 Pivert, Victor Pivert, he just shot two men. 277 00:34:19,545 --> 00:34:21,770 Yes, a car on a boat. 278 00:34:21,882 --> 00:34:24,671 Put out an APB immediately! 279 00:34:26,132 --> 00:34:27,715 Europe flash. 280 00:34:29,612 --> 00:34:32,492 Mohamed Larbi Slimane, famous 3rd World leader, 281 00:34:32,517 --> 00:34:35,370 kidnapped yesterday in Paris, is still missing. 282 00:34:35,395 --> 00:34:40,210 Meanwhile grave events in his country have cut all communication. 283 00:34:40,275 --> 00:34:42,522 All France is following this story... 284 00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:44,555 Let me call the police. 285 00:34:44,735 --> 00:34:47,969 - They'll arrest Fares and let you go home. - Police?! 286 00:34:47,994 --> 00:34:51,003 They'll deliver me to our government's 'maramouches'. 287 00:34:51,028 --> 00:34:52,632 - Maramouches ? - Killers. 288 00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:54,260 - Fares?! - Colonel Fares. 289 00:34:54,306 --> 00:34:58,036 - So, everybody's against you? - No, the people are with me. 290 00:34:58,114 --> 00:35:01,967 - And you can't lie to the people all of the time! - Sure, you can! Easily. 291 00:35:01,992 --> 00:35:05,130 In my factory I lie to the people all day. 292 00:35:05,324 --> 00:35:08,236 They love being lied to. "The people!" 293 00:35:08,962 --> 00:35:11,041 We'll sweep out all that filth! 294 00:35:11,096 --> 00:35:15,069 If I can return tonight, tomorrow, I'll be Prime Minister. 295 00:35:15,224 --> 00:35:16,887 Prime Minister? 296 00:35:17,067 --> 00:35:21,038 I'm so happy to shake a Prime Minister's revolver. 297 00:35:21,344 --> 00:35:23,481 So much for petroleum! 298 00:35:23,994 --> 00:35:26,218 Oh! No more gas. 299 00:35:26,618 --> 00:35:28,366 I have to stop. 300 00:35:37,119 --> 00:35:39,254 What can he be doing? 301 00:35:40,045 --> 00:35:41,626 Where can he be? 302 00:35:41,726 --> 00:35:45,696 - What's wrong with you today? - My daughter's getting married. 303 00:35:45,737 --> 00:35:47,824 I'm open just as a favour to you. 304 00:35:47,865 --> 00:35:51,623 - You call this a favour? - Open your mouth and be quiet. 305 00:35:52,486 --> 00:35:56,403 Yes, M. Pivert's car? Yes we placed the call. 306 00:35:59,103 --> 00:36:00,363 - Madame? - Yes. 307 00:36:00,388 --> 00:36:02,919 - Hurry, Monsieur is on the phone. 308 00:36:04,116 --> 00:36:06,432 Oh, hey, hey! 309 00:36:07,448 --> 00:36:10,547 Clamp down hard! I'll be two minutes. 310 00:36:11,734 --> 00:36:12,983 Hello. 311 00:36:13,302 --> 00:36:14,731 Hello! 312 00:36:17,415 --> 00:36:20,062 - Don't answer. - It must be my wife. 313 00:36:20,140 --> 00:36:23,803 She's jealous, if I don't answer, she'll track me down. 314 00:36:23,886 --> 00:36:27,594 Fine, but one false move and... 315 00:36:30,937 --> 00:36:35,112 - Hello. Is that you, Germaine? - It's 11 AM. 316 00:36:35,242 --> 00:36:40,134 I've been expecting you, between cavities. Where'd you spend the night? 317 00:36:40,214 --> 00:36:44,007 - Say you're spending the weekend with a woman. - Oh, no, I beg you. 318 00:36:44,065 --> 00:36:48,112 - You're taking the plane with me! - I couldn't. - Go on! - Nuts! 319 00:36:48,172 --> 00:36:52,074 Germaine, I'm taking off in a plane with a woman. 320 00:36:52,161 --> 00:36:56,248 - A woman? Are you crazy? - Yes! Crazy about her. 321 00:36:56,326 --> 00:37:00,576 - What's she got that I don't? - What's she got? She's got, haha... 322 00:37:01,704 --> 00:37:04,223 She's git big hairy hands, 323 00:37:04,333 --> 00:37:06,172 big feet... 324 00:37:06,351 --> 00:37:09,890 she has curls all over, and a big moustache. 325 00:37:09,945 --> 00:37:11,510 What?! 326 00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:14,666 Be convincing! She must believe you. 327 00:37:14,823 --> 00:37:17,740 Yes I love her because she doesn't get seasick, 328 00:37:17,781 --> 00:37:20,406 no grease on her face, no hair-curlers 329 00:37:20,453 --> 00:37:22,061 no steel reinforced bra. 330 00:37:22,086 --> 00:37:25,168 I love the way she sings, rubbing my back for hours, 331 00:37:25,193 --> 00:37:28,251 telling me I'm an athlete. that I'm handsome, 332 00:37:28,276 --> 00:37:30,313 and that I'm 1.80 meters tall. Voila! 333 00:37:30,361 --> 00:37:33,354 Who is she? What's her name? 334 00:37:33,491 --> 00:37:36,399 What's her name? What's-her-name. 335 00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,783 - Say any name! - Yeah... 336 00:37:38,932 --> 00:37:40,149 Ah! 337 00:37:40,209 --> 00:37:43,707 - Therese Leduc. - Therese Leduc is 65 years old! 338 00:37:43,820 --> 00:37:46,279 Exactly. She's loved me for 30 years, 339 00:37:46,304 --> 00:37:49,845 has never called me on the phone and left me in peace. 340 00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:51,962 - Did you see that? - What? 341 00:37:51,987 --> 00:37:53,627 - I hung up, this time. 342 00:37:54,098 --> 00:37:58,662 Odile, I'm off to Orly, my husband is there. Tell my daughter to wait. 343 00:37:58,770 --> 00:38:01,234 Pardor Madam. Pivert wedding? 344 00:38:01,405 --> 00:38:03,765 Yes, put it there, lad. 345 00:38:31,025 --> 00:38:34,645 Sorry, sir, the doctor isn't receiving patients today. 346 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:38,125 Police Commissioner Andréani. M. Pivert, please. 347 00:38:38,211 --> 00:38:41,105 M. Pivert isn't here. What is it about? 348 00:38:43,086 --> 00:38:47,620 Don't worry. Mme. Pivert went to meet her husband at Orly. 349 00:38:47,721 --> 00:38:50,111 She'll be back in two hours. 350 00:38:52,304 --> 00:38:56,486 To Orly Airport! Hurry, we gotta nab him before he flies off. 351 00:38:57,741 --> 00:39:00,618 - Hurry up. - One minute, Monsieur. 352 00:39:09,176 --> 00:39:11,217 That's 57 francs, Monsieur. 353 00:39:12,983 --> 00:39:15,618 Monsieur. What was your speed? 354 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,395 What... eighty? 355 00:39:19,121 --> 00:39:20,611 That's 57. 356 00:39:21,104 --> 00:39:24,653 - Shall I check the oil? - No need, it's fine, thanks. 357 00:39:25,162 --> 00:39:27,058 Thank you, Monsieur. 358 00:39:27,429 --> 00:39:30,224 - Got your papers? - Yeah, sure. 359 00:39:57,738 --> 00:40:00,730 - What'd you do? - Me? Nothing. 360 00:40:02,787 --> 00:40:06,776 - Taking the piss out of me or my colleague? - Oh, both! 361 00:40:06,815 --> 00:40:09,063 No Officer, neither one. 362 00:40:09,123 --> 00:40:12,300 Yes, I'm taking the piss out both of you! 363 00:40:13,375 --> 00:40:14,987 Turn a bit. 364 00:40:15,073 --> 00:40:17,773 - What's that? - Where? 365 00:40:18,178 --> 00:40:21,519 - A wart. - A wart? Oh! 366 00:40:22,603 --> 00:40:26,170 - Aww, that's not nice! - I think it looks fine. 367 00:40:26,255 --> 00:40:29,058 Oh, no. Quite ugly... 368 00:40:29,602 --> 00:40:33,527 Look, two huge hairs sticking out. 369 00:40:33,717 --> 00:40:35,818 - Yeah? - Doesn't it hurt? 370 00:40:35,843 --> 00:40:37,604 - No. - It doesn't? 371 00:40:37,639 --> 00:40:39,477 And if I do this? 372 00:40:41,892 --> 00:40:45,505 That's gotta hurt, dammit, huh? 373 00:40:45,708 --> 00:40:48,711 What's this about? Papers, now! 374 00:40:48,789 --> 00:40:51,841 I always drive without them. No drivers license, 375 00:40:51,919 --> 00:40:55,282 no grey slip, no sticker, no insurance. Arrest me. 376 00:40:55,361 --> 00:40:58,208 - You'll pay dearly for that. - Arrest me. 377 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,955 - What's your name? - Pivert. Like the woodpecker. 378 00:41:17,454 --> 00:41:19,060 Fill'er up? 379 00:41:21,623 --> 00:41:23,738 Step on it, it's Fares! 380 00:41:23,851 --> 00:41:25,900 That's enough. Get out. 381 00:41:26,250 --> 00:41:28,124 Put it in first! 382 00:41:33,139 --> 00:41:35,238 *Teba, teba. Hou, hou! 383 00:41:44,447 --> 00:41:46,488 *(expletives) 384 00:42:16,924 --> 00:42:21,123 Ladies and gentlemen we are arriving at Paris Orly airport. 385 00:42:21,218 --> 00:42:22,622 It's 11:25... 386 00:42:22,678 --> 00:42:26,389 Please, gentlemen sit down and fasten your seatbelts. 387 00:42:26,429 --> 00:42:27,997 Sit down, Samuel (ENG) 388 00:42:28,052 --> 00:42:31,280 - My French family is waiting for me below. - I see. 389 00:42:31,334 --> 00:42:33,902 - I came for the bar mitzvah. - Interesting. 390 00:42:33,965 --> 00:42:37,032 The communion, of my nephew, little David. 391 00:42:37,157 --> 00:42:39,091 He's already thirteen. 392 00:42:40,834 --> 00:42:42,496 Ah, Samuel. 393 00:42:44,836 --> 00:42:48,526 David, don't start your nonsense. Go there and be quiet! 394 00:42:50,359 --> 00:42:52,877 Mom, how will we recognise uncle Jacob? 395 00:42:52,902 --> 00:42:56,743 No one's seen him except grandma Tzipe and she can't see. 396 00:42:56,798 --> 00:42:58,830 Waddaya mean I can't hear?! 397 00:42:58,901 --> 00:43:03,331 To honor Uncle Jacod we shoulda got Solomon to drive him in his boss' car. 398 00:43:03,339 --> 00:43:06,044 He can't. He got canned yesterday. 399 00:43:06,154 --> 00:43:09,661 - What? - His boss fired him yesterday. 400 00:43:09,736 --> 00:43:15,154 I always said M. Piverte is a very nice man! 401 00:43:18,589 --> 00:43:21,890 Don't push! Why must I bring my case? 402 00:43:21,915 --> 00:43:25,400 - 'Cause we're both going. - No, you go do your revolution 403 00:43:25,407 --> 00:43:27,743 I'll go marry off my daughter. 404 00:43:27,782 --> 00:43:30,759 If things get ugly, you can serve as my hostage. Move! 405 00:43:36,738 --> 00:43:40,630 Arriving from Frankfurt, flight AF-741, 406 00:43:40,801 --> 00:43:42,690 gate 45. 407 00:43:52,539 --> 00:43:54,707 No funny faces or you're dead. 408 00:43:54,795 --> 00:43:57,433 - I never pull funny faces! - Stop it! 409 00:43:57,487 --> 00:44:00,022 - Look at him. Look! - What? 410 00:44:00,112 --> 00:44:01,952 The security guard. 411 00:44:02,170 --> 00:44:04,489 He's huge. I'm puny. 412 00:44:04,846 --> 00:44:07,548 That's a proper hostage! 413 00:44:33,189 --> 00:44:35,913 - What is it? - See that? - What? 414 00:44:35,958 --> 00:44:38,199 - She's a redhead. - So? 415 00:44:41,103 --> 00:44:42,936 Be good baby. 416 00:44:47,409 --> 00:44:50,281 How lovely! Cute. 417 00:44:50,696 --> 00:44:52,248 Whoops! 418 00:44:52,999 --> 00:44:55,027 What's his name? 419 00:45:01,956 --> 00:45:03,798 Do you have a light? 420 00:45:10,169 --> 00:45:12,343 Of course he has a light! 421 00:45:18,877 --> 00:45:20,594 Take that! 422 00:45:21,065 --> 00:45:23,545 You think that's funny, imbecile? 423 00:45:23,585 --> 00:45:25,012 Imbecile! 424 00:45:56,374 --> 00:45:57,815 There it is! 425 00:45:57,909 --> 00:46:00,601 The plane from New York just landed. 426 00:46:00,664 --> 00:46:02,597 Hurry, you're too slow! 427 00:46:02,655 --> 00:46:05,112 We have time, it won't fly away. 428 00:46:05,159 --> 00:46:06,719 Hurry! 429 00:46:08,182 --> 00:46:10,588 - David, come here. - Hurry up. 430 00:46:10,627 --> 00:46:12,282 Look, cheri! 431 00:46:12,331 --> 00:46:15,216 Look, there he is. It must be him. 432 00:46:15,295 --> 00:46:18,130 Jacob, uncle Jacob! 433 00:46:18,574 --> 00:46:21,191 Where is Jacob? I don't see him. 434 00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:25,077 That's the wrong direction. Look down there! 435 00:46:29,834 --> 00:46:31,948 Passenger Pivert... 436 00:46:32,871 --> 00:46:34,788 Passenger Pivert. 437 00:46:35,418 --> 00:46:41,059 Would M. Pivert, come to the information counter! 438 00:46:41,137 --> 00:46:44,532 - They're here. - Arkoum, Slimane and Pivert. 439 00:46:46,602 --> 00:46:50,334 Division chief! Good timing. They just paged Pivert. 440 00:46:50,409 --> 00:46:53,019 Block the exits and let's go! 441 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:55,595 But, careful, he's a killer! 442 00:46:55,742 --> 00:46:58,100 Please, Mlle, try again. 443 00:46:58,591 --> 00:47:01,361 Would passenger Piver... 444 00:47:01,979 --> 00:47:05,171 Victor, come back. Victor! 445 00:47:08,726 --> 00:47:11,083 - Victor! - Oh my god it's Germaine! 446 00:47:11,108 --> 00:47:13,791 It's your wife calling. I beg you. 447 00:47:13,843 --> 00:47:17,527 Shut up and tell me where you are! Germaine? 448 00:47:19,605 --> 00:47:21,183 Germaine? 449 00:47:23,836 --> 00:47:25,766 I forgive you, Victor. 450 00:47:25,837 --> 00:47:29,840 Don't leave with Thérèse Leduc on your daughter's wedding day. 451 00:47:29,917 --> 00:47:31,839 Victor, do you hear me? 452 00:47:32,229 --> 00:47:34,009 Victor, do you hear me? 453 00:47:34,089 --> 00:47:38,380 Yes, I hear you. Not so loud, I'm coming. 454 00:47:38,786 --> 00:47:40,462 My microph...! 455 00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:45,528 Your husband's not leaving YOU for Therese Leduc. Gimme that! 456 00:47:51,012 --> 00:47:53,291 - Germaine. - Victor! 457 00:47:53,405 --> 00:47:56,824 - Victor! - Gimme the mike, I have an announcement. 458 00:47:56,886 --> 00:48:00,819 I have one too. And more important than yours. 459 00:48:20,111 --> 00:48:22,911 Oh, it's you! I thought it was a 'maramouche'. 460 00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:25,191 - Is Fares here? - Yeah, he wants to... 461 00:48:25,238 --> 00:48:29,476 - C'mon! - Wait, let me look first. 462 00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,340 - Open up! - No! 463 00:48:56,245 --> 00:48:59,476 - Open! - There's no one here. 464 00:49:00,593 --> 00:49:04,012 - Open, I say! - I can't, it's occupied. 465 00:49:04,919 --> 00:49:07,418 - Open. - Hear that? 466 00:49:09,398 --> 00:49:12,721 Sir, is your friend sick? 467 00:49:13,442 --> 00:49:15,381 Can we help? 468 00:49:17,463 --> 00:49:19,667 It seems, you can. 469 00:49:44,555 --> 00:49:47,117 Lowlife! Get out! 470 00:51:05,879 --> 00:51:09,040 Me, as a rabbi. It's really the limit! 471 00:51:10,003 --> 00:51:11,865 Wait. 472 00:51:24,430 --> 00:51:25,958 Jacob! 473 00:51:26,739 --> 00:51:28,346 Jacob! 474 00:51:30,563 --> 00:51:32,232 It is him! 475 00:51:33,263 --> 00:51:34,754 Jacob! 476 00:51:38,054 --> 00:51:39,599 Uncle Jacob! 477 00:51:40,815 --> 00:51:42,103 Uncle Jacob! 478 00:51:42,173 --> 00:51:44,263 Dear, let me shalom him too. 479 00:51:44,365 --> 00:51:46,310 - Shalom. - Shalom. 480 00:51:46,450 --> 00:51:50,665 - SHALOM! (What now?) - (Play along. It is our only chance) 481 00:51:50,783 --> 00:51:53,511 I'd recognise him among thousands. 482 00:51:53,536 --> 00:51:57,221 Spitting image of his brother, my husband, bless his soul. 483 00:51:57,291 --> 00:52:01,330 - Is he also a Schmoll? - A schmoll? 484 00:52:01,413 --> 00:52:03,297 Yes, who is he, uncle? 485 00:52:03,351 --> 00:52:04,679 Yes, he's right. 486 00:52:04,704 --> 00:52:08,608 He asked who he is and deserves an answer. 487 00:52:08,647 --> 00:52:10,278 You asked about him? 488 00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:13,393 He's my secretary, chauffeur and porter. 489 00:52:13,476 --> 00:52:15,051 Take my suitcase. 490 00:52:15,204 --> 00:52:18,435 - What's his name? - Him, up there? 491 00:52:18,481 --> 00:52:23,312 His name is Larbi Rabbi mm... Slimann. With 'mann' on the end. 492 00:52:23,383 --> 00:52:25,224 Seligmann! 493 00:52:25,313 --> 00:52:29,283 - Rabbi Seligmann. Enchantee. - Madame. 494 00:52:29,370 --> 00:52:30,945 Come, Jacob, 495 00:52:30,985 --> 00:52:33,544 Tell me, how are they all in New York? *Sag mir wie geht es alles in New York? 496 00:52:33,653 --> 00:52:36,306 And what's the whole family doing? Und was macht die ganze mischpokhe? 497 00:52:36,331 --> 00:52:38,277 - Geht, geht? - Geht, geht! 498 00:52:38,302 --> 00:52:40,177 - Ja, ja? - Ja, ja!* 499 00:52:41,987 --> 00:52:44,127 Why don't you have a beard? 500 00:52:44,180 --> 00:52:47,380 I lent it to someone who didn't have one. 501 00:52:47,554 --> 00:52:52,572 That Seligman is not just anybody. A rabbi who is a chauffeur! 502 00:52:52,769 --> 00:52:56,818 Jacob, you have a funny accent in French. 503 00:52:56,982 --> 00:52:58,725 - You think? - Yes, yes. 504 00:52:58,779 --> 00:53:01,145 You've become a real American. 505 00:53:01,205 --> 00:53:05,325 - You want I should teach you good French? - Yes, yes, yes. 506 00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:10,807 I know a good exercise. Pronounce the names of fuhz. 507 00:53:10,909 --> 00:53:12,274 Fuzz? 508 00:53:12,329 --> 00:53:16,046 - Coats made from fuhz. - Ah, furs! 509 00:53:16,107 --> 00:53:18,171 - Try. - Yes. 510 00:53:25,626 --> 00:53:27,842 Mink. 511 00:53:29,387 --> 00:53:32,089 Chinchilla. 512 00:53:32,189 --> 00:53:34,272 Musket rats. 513 00:53:38,588 --> 00:53:41,327 - The fox. - Fox? 514 00:53:41,492 --> 00:53:43,685 The silver fox. 515 00:53:43,786 --> 00:53:47,220 - The panther. - The painter. 516 00:53:47,889 --> 00:53:50,863 No, no, no, panther... the animal. 517 00:53:50,955 --> 00:53:53,009 Panther. Dit, dit, dit... 518 00:53:53,104 --> 00:53:54,758 Grrr! 519 00:53:56,032 --> 00:53:57,866 Very good, Jacob! 520 00:53:58,646 --> 00:54:01,530 - Madame Pivert? - That's me. 521 00:54:02,077 --> 00:54:05,648 Police. Your husband is waiting in his car. 522 00:54:05,727 --> 00:54:07,419 My Victor! 523 00:54:07,493 --> 00:54:11,249 I knew, at the last minute, he'd change his mind. 524 00:54:11,274 --> 00:54:13,781 But, police?! Why? 525 00:54:14,503 --> 00:54:18,975 - M. Pivert is in a real mess. - Therese Leduc, I knew it! 526 00:54:19,178 --> 00:54:21,074 C'mon, let's go! 527 00:54:30,014 --> 00:54:32,447 Where's Victor? Hey, let go of me! 528 00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:35,141 - Get in! - It's an ambush! 529 00:54:36,445 --> 00:54:38,084 Officer! 530 00:54:39,122 --> 00:54:41,971 Mme Pivert, which way did she go? 531 00:54:42,049 --> 00:54:44,888 I dunno! That way, or the other way. 532 00:54:44,931 --> 00:54:48,106 - I can't watch everybody! - Exactly, watch everybody! 533 00:54:48,116 --> 00:54:49,979 - Commissioner! - Yeah! 534 00:54:50,026 --> 00:54:53,944 We found two rabbis, tied and gagged, in the toilets. 535 00:54:54,029 --> 00:54:57,102 - Two rabbis? - They stole their clothes and shaved them. 536 00:54:57,134 --> 00:54:59,851 - Who did it? - A big guy with black hair. 537 00:54:59,897 --> 00:55:03,262 - And a short bald guy, with blue eyes. - Pivert, again! 538 00:55:03,331 --> 00:55:06,374 - It might be... - Slimane? Sure! Hurry! 539 00:55:16,643 --> 00:55:20,280 Excuse me, this is a celebrity. Excuse me. 540 00:55:20,460 --> 00:55:23,500 Get in, uncle Jacob. I'll buy the tickets. 541 00:55:25,233 --> 00:55:26,777 Go ahead. 542 00:55:31,478 --> 00:55:33,147 You're very kind. 543 00:55:33,208 --> 00:55:34,582 And... 544 00:55:34,607 --> 00:55:38,704 you're the best looking Jew I've seen, in a long time. 545 00:55:38,729 --> 00:55:41,038 Pretty eyes, lovely teeth! 546 00:55:41,070 --> 00:55:44,581 Come, let me kiss you. You're so cute! 547 00:55:46,272 --> 00:55:49,972 - You too, Mme Schmoll, must've been a knock-out. - Ahh! 548 00:55:50,028 --> 00:55:52,687 Do you know how many marriages I arranged 549 00:55:52,712 --> 00:55:55,168 on Rue des Rosiers?... 43! 550 00:55:55,262 --> 00:55:57,026 118 children. 551 00:55:57,115 --> 00:55:59,500 2 ½ children per couple. 552 00:55:59,975 --> 00:56:02,624 - Are you married? - No. 553 00:56:02,765 --> 00:56:06,933 What do you like in a girlfriend, blondes, brunettes? 554 00:56:07,152 --> 00:56:09,297 - Redheads. - I have! 555 00:56:09,406 --> 00:56:13,462 30 years away from Paris, and nobody comes to meet me! 556 00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:18,417 - Maybe they didn't get your telegram. - 8 telegrams, I sent. Eight! 557 00:56:18,893 --> 00:56:21,723 They must have got one! 558 00:56:25,798 --> 00:56:28,537 - You see the violin case? - Yes Chief. 559 00:56:28,623 --> 00:56:31,456 And what's inside a violin case? 560 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,531 Um... ♪ La-la, la-la... 561 00:56:33,626 --> 00:56:36,898 No, imbecile! A... t-t-t-t... 562 00:56:38,075 --> 00:56:40,718 Cover me. I'm going in. 563 00:56:44,046 --> 00:56:47,098 Hmm... The address is '8 Rue des Rosiers'. 564 00:56:47,176 --> 00:56:50,430 Now, I need to find the phone number. 565 00:56:53,675 --> 00:56:55,712 My respects, Grand Rabbi. 566 00:56:55,784 --> 00:56:59,418 Ah, Samuel, I told you they'd come get us? 567 00:56:59,468 --> 00:57:01,644 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 568 00:57:01,692 --> 00:57:04,969 - The Police! - A great honour! 569 00:57:05,031 --> 00:57:08,933 It's not every day I meet two, such sought after, rabbis. 570 00:57:08,997 --> 00:57:12,484 Bless you my son. May the Eternal be with you. 571 00:57:12,562 --> 00:57:14,535 Don't touch my violin. 572 00:57:14,615 --> 00:57:18,366 - Don't take me for a fool, Pivert. - Piverte?! 573 00:57:18,603 --> 00:57:19,984 Say... 574 00:57:20,063 --> 00:57:24,114 that's some patriarchal beard you glued on! 575 00:57:25,373 --> 00:57:27,154 - May I touch it? - Oi! 576 00:57:27,407 --> 00:57:29,148 Oi! 577 00:57:29,629 --> 00:57:31,236 Excuse me, sir... 578 00:57:44,232 --> 00:57:45,876 - Solomon! - Yeah? 579 00:57:45,916 --> 00:57:49,088 - Telephone, in your room! - Coming! 580 00:57:54,502 --> 00:57:55,915 Hello. 581 00:57:56,134 --> 00:57:57,570 Who? 582 00:57:57,984 --> 00:57:59,724 Uncle Jacob? 583 00:58:00,169 --> 00:58:03,265 No, it's Solomon. Did you have a good voyage? 584 00:58:03,311 --> 00:58:07,004 No, I did not have a good voyage. I had a very bad voyage! 585 00:58:07,058 --> 00:58:09,080 - Where are you? - At Orly! 586 00:58:09,142 --> 00:58:11,122 30 years I haven't been to Paris 587 00:58:11,147 --> 00:58:12,960 and the police picks up! 588 00:58:12,999 --> 00:58:14,829 It's all in order, Chief. 589 00:58:14,878 --> 00:58:17,947 - Excuse us, it's an error. - Thanks. 590 00:58:18,058 --> 00:58:20,156 What's with you people?! 591 00:58:20,196 --> 00:58:24,252 Uncle Jacob, I don't understand. There must be an error. 592 00:58:28,758 --> 00:58:33,017 It's Rabbi Jacob in the taxi. Come down Solomon! 593 00:58:37,070 --> 00:58:38,779 What the? 594 00:58:39,434 --> 00:58:43,025 Listen, you on the phone, stop being a jerk! 595 00:58:43,118 --> 00:58:46,311 - Jerk? - Today, of all days, really! 596 00:58:46,405 --> 00:58:47,912 Imbecile! 597 00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:50,925 Long live Rabbi Jacob! 598 00:58:50,988 --> 00:58:53,187 Solomon's 'gone crazy'! *is geworden meshugge 599 00:58:53,219 --> 00:58:56,147 - 'Totally crazy', Rabbi. - Jerk. *Ganz meshugge 600 00:58:56,456 --> 00:58:59,486 Shalom, uncle Jacob, shalom! 601 00:59:03,311 --> 00:59:06,116 You should bless them, uncle Jacob. 602 00:59:08,012 --> 00:59:10,509 That's why they came, you know. 603 00:59:10,678 --> 00:59:13,941 Such modesty. He's a modist! 604 00:59:16,625 --> 00:59:18,275 Stand up, uncle Jacob. 605 00:59:18,300 --> 00:59:20,849 They wanna welcome you. Go on. 606 00:59:21,019 --> 00:59:23,684 Stick your head outside. 607 01:00:01,135 --> 01:00:04,299 Not like that. Do you think you're in Rome?! 608 01:00:07,629 --> 01:00:09,159 It's all your fault. 609 01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:12,320 Wait till I tell them who you are. You'll see! 610 01:00:16,476 --> 01:00:19,385 Silence! Quiet! 611 01:00:20,158 --> 01:00:22,707 Silence. Quiet! 612 01:00:23,913 --> 01:00:26,689 We welcome you, Rabbi Jacob, 613 01:00:26,744 --> 01:00:29,043 venerable teacher, 614 01:00:29,358 --> 01:00:31,473 well of knowledge, 615 01:00:31,715 --> 01:00:33,917 celestial luminary. 616 01:00:34,019 --> 01:00:37,142 Hear that? Now, that's good! Very good! 617 01:00:41,282 --> 01:00:46,926 As a souvenir of this day, accept this modest 'Shtreimel'. 618 01:00:56,481 --> 01:00:59,372 Oh, lovely Shtreimel! 619 01:00:59,986 --> 01:01:03,659 It's mink. I'll wear it every Sunday. 620 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:10,856 Saturday, not Sunday! 621 01:01:11,004 --> 01:01:14,203 He said Sunday, but it's not. It's Saturday. 622 01:01:17,828 --> 01:01:20,244 Silence. Silence. 623 01:01:21,621 --> 01:01:25,045 Rabbi Jacob will speak now. 624 01:01:26,794 --> 01:01:28,753 Go on, say something. 625 01:01:30,984 --> 01:01:32,529 Ah. 626 01:01:39,072 --> 01:01:40,980 My dear Rosenfelds. 627 01:01:46,583 --> 01:01:50,633 [PORK PRODUCTS - ROZENBERG] My dear Rozenbergs. 628 01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,608 [BEEF BUTCHER - KOSHER] My dear Koshers. 629 01:01:59,281 --> 01:02:00,946 Not that. 630 01:02:05,499 --> 01:02:08,541 How about that? My dear Levi's. 631 01:02:13,894 --> 01:02:15,877 Dear Levi's. 632 01:02:16,994 --> 01:02:19,036 Keep the rest. 633 01:02:19,782 --> 01:02:24,143 Uncle Jacob, a thousand excuses. You must get off. 634 01:02:24,175 --> 01:02:28,061 - The taxi has to leave. - Yes, yes. - He's getting out. 635 01:02:28,115 --> 01:02:30,822 - What if they ask me stuff? - Do as they do. 636 01:02:30,857 --> 01:02:33,296 Ask a Jew anything, he always answers 637 01:02:33,335 --> 01:02:36,291 with another question, to buy time to think. 638 01:02:36,386 --> 01:02:37,940 Oh, yeah? 639 01:02:49,723 --> 01:02:51,540 Monsieur! 640 01:03:00,725 --> 01:03:04,553 - Jacob, do you recognise me? - And do you recognise me? 641 01:03:04,630 --> 01:03:06,496 - No. - Good! 642 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:11,269 We have a thousand questions for you. 643 01:03:11,325 --> 01:03:13,499 Well I have two thousand. 644 01:03:13,555 --> 01:03:16,005 - Rabbi Jacob! - Yes. 645 01:03:17,563 --> 01:03:19,871 My driver. He recognises me. 646 01:03:19,896 --> 01:03:22,614 I only have one question. 647 01:03:23,118 --> 01:03:26,680 My boss fired me for refusing to work Saturdays. 648 01:03:26,798 --> 01:03:28,952 What would you do in my place? 649 01:03:29,014 --> 01:03:32,471 Ask him to take you back. He'll say yes! 650 01:03:32,628 --> 01:03:36,194 Ask for a raise. He'll say yes! 651 01:03:36,302 --> 01:03:39,113 - Double my pay? - He'll say yes! 652 01:03:39,194 --> 01:03:41,962 - Triple? - He... He'll say no. 653 01:03:46,481 --> 01:03:49,356 'Monsieur' didn't tell me he was Jewish. 654 01:03:49,428 --> 01:03:52,101 Yesterday I wasn't, that's why. 655 01:03:53,517 --> 01:03:57,240 I beg you Solomon don't tell. The police, the 'maramouches'. 656 01:03:57,281 --> 01:04:00,212 - Everyone wants my hide. - What has 'Monsieur' done? 657 01:04:00,237 --> 01:04:02,231 Nothing Solomon I'm innocent. 658 01:04:02,260 --> 01:04:05,298 They need a scapegoat. And I'm the goat. 659 01:04:05,423 --> 01:04:06,953 Ba-ah-a... 660 01:04:07,023 --> 01:04:09,050 Hide me, and I'll re-hire you. 661 01:04:09,112 --> 01:04:12,517 I'll give you all the holidays Jewish, Catholic and Protestant! 662 01:04:12,542 --> 01:04:15,567 Plus every Sabbath and Sunday. 663 01:04:15,619 --> 01:04:17,953 And the Muslim holidays? 664 01:04:18,881 --> 01:04:21,656 Eh? Do Muslims have holidays? 665 01:04:21,768 --> 01:04:25,198 What about him, Mohammed Larbi Slimane? 666 01:04:25,661 --> 01:04:28,642 - Why's he here? - Who? 667 01:04:28,821 --> 01:04:32,038 Rabbi Seligmann, 668 01:04:32,480 --> 01:04:35,150 - It's done, I found one. - What? 669 01:04:35,175 --> 01:04:37,017 - A real redhead. - Ahh! 670 01:04:37,180 --> 01:04:38,561 Look. 671 01:04:40,460 --> 01:04:42,940 She's called Hannah. 672 01:04:43,013 --> 01:04:44,936 Say hello. 673 01:04:51,372 --> 01:04:55,212 Mameh, it's fine. They're all ready. 674 01:04:56,200 --> 01:05:00,451 Silence, silence! 675 01:05:01,387 --> 01:05:05,054 Rabbi Jacob will dance! 676 01:05:05,683 --> 01:05:08,688 - No, no. - Rabbi Jacob's a good dancer! 677 01:05:34,528 --> 01:05:36,589 Hoi! Hoi! 678 01:07:14,681 --> 01:07:16,742 Ah, Monsieur has a real gift! 679 01:07:16,795 --> 01:07:19,605 It was a miracle, Solomon. A miracle! 680 01:07:21,854 --> 01:07:23,618 Bravo! 681 01:07:27,610 --> 01:07:31,050 You went to Orly, because you knew Pivert was there! 682 01:07:31,107 --> 01:07:33,502 I thought he was leaving with Therese Leduc. 683 01:07:33,555 --> 01:07:36,163 - On his daughter's wedding day? - Drill ! 684 01:07:36,227 --> 01:07:39,203 No, not the drill, I can't stand it! 685 01:07:44,305 --> 01:07:45,992 He's with Slimane. 686 01:07:46,054 --> 01:07:47,779 Where are they? 687 01:07:51,714 --> 01:07:53,413 Hello. Hello! 688 01:07:53,468 --> 01:07:57,728 Is this 749-28-27? Hello. Who's speaking? 689 01:07:57,842 --> 01:07:59,916 Answer. But watch it! 690 01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:03,990 - Germaine? It's me, Victor. - Ah Victor, it's you. 691 01:08:04,434 --> 01:08:06,432 - Ask where he is. - No! 692 01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:08,593 Hello? Hello? Hello! 693 01:08:09,753 --> 01:08:12,316 Germaine turn off the drill, dammit! 694 01:08:12,347 --> 01:08:14,195 Can you hear me, or not? 695 01:08:14,301 --> 01:08:15,802 Where are you, cheri? 696 01:08:15,834 --> 01:08:18,428 Hiding with some Jewish friends. 697 01:08:18,492 --> 01:08:20,605 You have Jewish friends? You?! 698 01:08:20,687 --> 01:08:24,304 'Course I have Jewish fr... What do you mean by that? 699 01:08:24,351 --> 01:08:27,130 Say the police is here and let me speak to him. 700 01:08:27,177 --> 01:08:30,593 The police is here. They wanna speak to you. 701 01:08:30,923 --> 01:08:34,289 Hello, M. Pivert, I'm the Commissioner. 702 01:08:34,403 --> 01:08:36,938 I recognize your voice, Commissioner. 703 01:08:36,993 --> 01:08:39,084 I'm so happy to hear you! 704 01:08:39,133 --> 01:08:42,518 Same here. Where are you M. Pivert? 705 01:08:42,690 --> 01:08:44,691 Listen, I know the killers. 706 01:08:44,764 --> 01:08:47,605 You can nab the whole smalah*. (tribe) 707 01:08:47,655 --> 01:08:50,673 - Their leader is called Fares. - Oh, yeah? 708 01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:53,462 I'll give you his description. 709 01:08:53,550 --> 01:08:55,837 Fat, greasy, curly hair, 710 01:08:55,907 --> 01:08:59,372 small cruel eyes piercing through dark glasses. 711 01:08:59,747 --> 01:09:02,423 - A true killer's face. - Voila! 712 01:09:02,731 --> 01:09:05,404 I am at "Etoile de Kiev". 713 01:09:07,176 --> 01:09:10,787 It's a restaurant, a delikatessen, 714 01:09:10,865 --> 01:09:13,762 Rue des Rosiers number eight... 715 01:09:13,832 --> 01:09:15,308 Oight, oight! 716 01:09:15,456 --> 01:09:18,322 - Shalom, Rabbi. - Shalom, my son. - Shalom. 717 01:09:18,367 --> 01:09:20,615 Shalom, not you, him. 718 01:09:20,849 --> 01:09:22,493 OK... 719 01:09:22,561 --> 01:09:25,469 OK, you ask for Rabbi Jacob. 720 01:09:25,548 --> 01:09:28,144 And Rabbi Jacob, is me. 721 01:09:28,199 --> 01:09:30,610 Is Slimane with you? 722 01:09:32,334 --> 01:09:33,810 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 723 01:09:33,857 --> 01:09:37,408 They're marrying him off to a redhead, outside. 724 01:09:37,512 --> 01:09:41,036 - Don't move M. Pivert, we're coming. - Yes! 725 01:09:41,092 --> 01:09:42,630 Jacob! 726 01:09:42,817 --> 01:09:46,704 - Jacob! Have you heard the news? - No. 727 01:09:46,813 --> 01:09:48,827 Hannah's engaged. 728 01:09:48,871 --> 01:09:52,896 - If Rabbi Jacob gives his blessing. - Pfft! 729 01:09:53,201 --> 01:09:55,612 What a cute goil! 730 01:09:59,733 --> 01:10:03,642 So, are you happy? Look at her. Tiddly-diggety-dee! 731 01:10:03,764 --> 01:10:06,280 And you... Mmmmm! 732 01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,737 Rabbi Jacob says YES! 733 01:10:11,300 --> 01:10:14,040 Voila. He's so happy. 734 01:10:18,746 --> 01:10:22,093 Today of all days, to pull THIS on me! 735 01:10:31,210 --> 01:10:33,430 Papa's disappeared. 736 01:10:36,005 --> 01:10:37,667 Mama! 737 01:11:00,854 --> 01:11:02,582 Antoinette! 738 01:11:03,516 --> 01:11:05,970 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 739 01:11:36,342 --> 01:11:37,822 I can't do it. 740 01:11:37,908 --> 01:11:40,679 - Are you Rabbi Jacob or not? - Yes, but not here! 741 01:11:40,745 --> 01:11:44,079 - Play along, I beg you. - You're safe with us. 742 01:11:44,104 --> 01:11:45,790 - Uncle Jacob? - Yes. 743 01:11:45,815 --> 01:11:47,501 - We cleared the way. 744 01:11:52,173 --> 01:11:55,336 - What should we do? - Do like everyone else. 745 01:11:55,399 --> 01:12:00,116 - How does a Jewish Communion work? - It works out alright. 746 01:12:05,286 --> 01:12:09,251 As soon as my wife gets here, I'm off to church! 747 01:12:19,662 --> 01:12:22,051 Bless me, uncle Jacob. 748 01:12:27,919 --> 01:12:30,127 I bless you, David. 749 01:12:36,147 --> 01:12:38,856 You too, Rabbi Seligmann. 750 01:12:43,294 --> 01:12:45,871 God be with you, David. 751 01:12:45,879 --> 01:12:49,837 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 752 01:12:53,462 --> 01:12:55,211 - Pssst! - Amen! 753 01:12:56,282 --> 01:12:59,778 - Pssst! Hey. - What is it? 754 01:12:59,903 --> 01:13:04,919 Rabbi Jacob's wanted on the phone. It's urgent. From Madame Pivert. 755 01:13:05,935 --> 01:13:07,740 I'm coming. 756 01:13:18,667 --> 01:13:21,312 Amen! 757 01:13:22,581 --> 01:13:24,569 Did you hear? They say amen. 758 01:13:24,647 --> 01:13:26,955 Great! Same as us. 759 01:13:27,119 --> 01:13:29,370 I beg you Solomon, warn Monsieur! 760 01:13:29,421 --> 01:13:31,876 There are 3. Their boss is called Fares. 761 01:13:31,911 --> 01:13:34,236 Three killers? Here? 762 01:13:37,456 --> 01:13:41,229 They want to assassinate him. Hurry they're on their way! 763 01:13:41,276 --> 01:13:43,712 No, Madame, they're here. 764 01:13:55,454 --> 01:13:58,287 *[♪ canticle: Heb] 765 01:14:06,588 --> 01:14:08,846 Mazel tov, my son. 766 01:14:21,487 --> 01:14:25,550 *♪ Ya mod, Rabbi Jacob. 767 01:14:28,492 --> 01:14:30,520 - What's he saying? - Eh? 768 01:14:30,545 --> 01:14:32,082 - What's he saying? 769 01:14:32,904 --> 01:14:37,550 He says, without imposing, uncle Jacob, it's your turn to read the Torah. 770 01:14:37,611 --> 01:14:39,859 I can't, it's too great an honour. 771 01:14:39,946 --> 01:14:42,856 I'm even more overcome than you. 772 01:14:42,962 --> 01:14:44,820 - You too, Rabbi Seligman. - No. 773 01:14:44,845 --> 01:14:45,455 - Yes! 774 01:14:45,537 --> 01:14:48,498 What an honour for my family and me! 775 01:14:49,415 --> 01:14:51,511 Please, Rabbi Jacob. 776 01:15:17,959 --> 01:15:19,616 It's Hebrew. 777 01:15:19,662 --> 01:15:22,578 Read from right to left, like Arabic. 778 01:15:23,612 --> 01:15:27,231 I'll give the honour to Rabbi Seligmann. 779 01:15:27,418 --> 01:15:29,807 He'll read in Hebrew. 780 01:15:29,995 --> 01:15:33,373 The glasses. And the hand. 781 01:15:33,787 --> 01:15:37,458 There... You read it from right to left. 782 01:15:40,816 --> 01:15:44,230 - Think they're in there, Chief? - It's possible. 783 01:15:44,386 --> 01:15:49,257 Careful, it's like a church. So... tact and delicacy! 784 01:15:52,915 --> 01:15:54,802 Your hats. 785 01:16:02,870 --> 01:16:04,748 Fares is in the synagogue. 786 01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:07,302 - Fares? - Leave it to me. 787 01:16:15,159 --> 01:16:17,480 - Hats. - Hats. 788 01:16:18,247 --> 01:16:20,122 Hats! 789 01:16:22,491 --> 01:16:25,651 Silence. Silence! 790 01:16:27,235 --> 01:16:29,133 *Brothers... [HEBREW] 791 01:16:29,241 --> 01:16:32,676 The three men that have just come in 792 01:16:32,776 --> 01:16:36,982 are not here to pray. They're assassins! 793 01:16:37,221 --> 01:16:39,745 - Assassins? - Assassins? 794 01:16:40,457 --> 01:16:45,123 *They want to kill Rabbi Jacob and Rabbi Seligmann. 795 01:16:45,286 --> 01:16:50,298 Help me save them. 796 01:16:58,177 --> 01:17:02,137 What are you doing? let me be. 797 01:17:18,806 --> 01:17:22,036 Solomon! Quickly, Solomon. 798 01:17:23,543 --> 01:17:25,229 That way. 799 01:17:27,433 --> 01:17:30,523 Wait in the "Etoile de Kiev". I'll get my moped. 800 01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:32,834 How did Fares know we were here? 801 01:17:32,859 --> 01:17:38,150 - Monsieur blabbed to him on the phone. - I told the Commissioner. - That WAS Fares. 802 01:17:38,202 --> 01:17:41,863 What? That was Fares? Unbelievable! 803 01:17:57,715 --> 01:18:01,811 Thirty years, Samuel, and nothing changed! 804 01:18:05,915 --> 01:18:10,625 There's the synagogue. And this is the Etoile de Kiev. 805 01:18:13,364 --> 01:18:16,002 Hey, what's going on? Lemme go! 806 01:18:16,056 --> 01:18:17,711 Open it. Get in! 807 01:18:22,052 --> 01:18:23,850 Step on it! 808 01:18:26,220 --> 01:18:29,151 Monsieur, come quick. 809 01:18:29,742 --> 01:18:32,493 Hop on, and get away, quick! 810 01:18:32,611 --> 01:18:34,570 Hurry, get on! 811 01:18:36,514 --> 01:18:39,283 - Get on. Go! - Goddammit! 812 01:18:39,353 --> 01:18:41,510 - You saved my life, Solomon. - Ok, OK! 813 01:18:41,535 --> 01:18:42,968 - You'd have done the same 814 01:18:43,038 --> 01:18:46,697 I say! Solomon, Slimane. Slimane, Solomon. 815 01:18:47,221 --> 01:18:49,416 Could you guys be cousins? 816 01:18:49,609 --> 01:18:52,395 - Cousins? - Estranged... 817 01:18:52,892 --> 01:18:54,587 Thanks. 818 01:18:54,760 --> 01:18:59,061 Save it for later. Go! To St. Louis des Invalides Church. 819 01:19:18,565 --> 01:19:21,940 Police. Commissioner Andreani. 820 01:19:26,268 --> 01:19:29,062 Mama, there's the Etoile de Kiev. 821 01:19:29,125 --> 01:19:33,571 Commissioner, we took you for killers. It's a misunderstanding. 822 01:19:33,610 --> 01:19:35,198 He misunderstood! 823 01:19:35,235 --> 01:19:38,355 - This misunderstanding will cost you dearly. - Sami! 824 01:19:38,396 --> 01:19:40,176 Cossaks! 825 01:19:40,831 --> 01:19:44,071 Leave my Sami alone or I'll call the police! 826 01:19:44,135 --> 01:19:47,746 This is the police, mameh. These men are the police 827 01:19:48,276 --> 01:19:50,901 There's Solomon, mom. 828 01:19:53,932 --> 01:19:56,430 - Solomon! - Madame? 829 01:19:58,321 --> 01:20:00,858 What've you done with my husband? 830 01:20:00,905 --> 01:20:03,725 - Don't worry, Sir is safe. - Where is he? 831 01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:07,750 I lent him my moped and he went to your wedding. 832 01:20:41,004 --> 01:20:43,145 I can't breathe. 833 01:20:45,243 --> 01:20:47,952 Police! *... 834 01:20:50,114 --> 01:20:52,664 Take off your beard, Pivert. 835 01:20:52,769 --> 01:20:56,550 Again, with the Piverte?! What is this Piverte? 836 01:20:59,266 --> 01:21:01,181 Waddaya tryinna do? 837 01:21:01,275 --> 01:21:07,159 - That's not Slimane! * - Fi, rai! Eenhoil 838 01:21:07,228 --> 01:21:09,312 And I'm not Piverte! 839 01:21:09,563 --> 01:21:11,365 Hurry, hurry! 840 01:21:14,560 --> 01:21:18,016 My boat, my car! There, they stole it. 841 01:21:18,249 --> 01:21:20,224 Thief! Thief! 842 01:21:20,290 --> 01:21:22,862 - Don't shout like that. - Move it! 843 01:21:29,925 --> 01:21:32,773 - Faster. Faster. - I can't! 844 01:21:32,882 --> 01:21:34,983 - Go! - Aahh, my hat! 845 01:21:35,039 --> 01:21:36,614 That way! 846 01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:39,821 - There! - Careful, my hat! 847 01:21:40,039 --> 01:21:42,247 My hat, I can't see! 848 01:21:52,054 --> 01:21:54,205 Quick, this way! 849 01:22:03,471 --> 01:22:05,670 Thief! Stop! 850 01:22:12,351 --> 01:22:13,976 Thief! 851 01:22:14,526 --> 01:22:16,746 Oh, no, it's not me. 852 01:22:19,494 --> 01:22:21,831 Not the moustache. Not the moustache. 853 01:22:34,919 --> 01:22:38,139 - You're the Pivert?! - Rabbi Jacob! 854 01:22:47,089 --> 01:22:51,631 Hello, Citroen DS, license 438ZA75, 855 01:22:51,779 --> 01:22:54,675 carrying the boat Germaine II, 856 01:22:54,772 --> 01:22:58,032 is heading towards Place de la Concorde. 857 01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:15,068 Spare their lives, Fares. They won't talk. 858 01:23:15,117 --> 01:23:18,481 No, I won't talk. Not a word. I forgot everything. 859 01:23:18,527 --> 01:23:21,750 I don't even know your name, M. Fares. 860 01:23:24,309 --> 01:23:26,955 Don't shoot! I have an idea. 861 01:23:27,263 --> 01:23:29,787 Instead of shooting me in the car, 862 01:23:29,812 --> 01:23:32,623 you let me go to my daughters wedding. 863 01:23:32,684 --> 01:23:36,179 And tomorrow, you send me a letter-bomb. 864 01:23:36,730 --> 01:23:38,660 So, I'm at home... 865 01:23:38,933 --> 01:23:41,243 The doorbell rings. Drrring! 866 01:23:41,454 --> 01:23:43,046 Drrring! 867 01:23:47,883 --> 01:23:50,010 - Who is it? - I open... 868 01:23:52,441 --> 01:23:54,512 A letter bomb! 869 01:23:56,536 --> 01:23:58,168 And for whom? 870 01:23:58,261 --> 01:24:01,334 - For you, not me. - You're a pain in the a...! 871 01:24:01,364 --> 01:24:04,131 - So, I open it. - NO, don't! YES! No! 872 01:24:04,216 --> 01:24:06,670 I open it and paf! 873 01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:12,325 No more Pivert, no more Jacob, no more Fares! Waddaya gonna do? 874 01:24:14,090 --> 01:24:15,439 That's for me. 875 01:24:15,489 --> 01:24:17,141 For me! Leggo! 876 01:24:18,320 --> 01:24:20,489 Hello... *... 877 01:24:20,558 --> 01:24:21,925 Hello! 878 01:24:21,963 --> 01:24:24,711 Hello, is this M. Pivert's car? 879 01:24:24,779 --> 01:24:27,505 Is president Slimane with you? 880 01:24:28,747 --> 01:24:30,745 President Slimane?! 881 01:24:31,877 --> 01:24:35,043 The Minister wants to speak with him. 882 01:24:36,660 --> 01:24:39,198 It is for you. The Minister. 883 01:24:40,289 --> 01:24:42,179 Ahh! Gimme! 884 01:24:42,365 --> 01:24:44,316 - Hello. - Hello. 885 01:24:44,582 --> 01:24:47,321 - Mr. President? - Slimane speaking. 886 01:24:47,415 --> 01:24:49,227 The Revolutionary Council 887 01:24:49,252 --> 01:24:52,731 which took power in your country at 13:00 GMT, 888 01:24:52,801 --> 01:24:55,257 wishes you to return, urgently. 889 01:24:55,785 --> 01:24:59,243 - Should I mention petroleum? - It'd be inappropriate. 890 01:24:59,289 --> 01:25:02,198 A Concorde! We could fix him up with one. 891 01:25:02,278 --> 01:25:05,351 - Not so fast, you'll spoil everything. - OK. 892 01:25:05,489 --> 01:25:07,544 There's the Alouette 'copters. 893 01:25:07,608 --> 01:25:09,873 I'll slip in a cagey allusion. 894 01:25:11,407 --> 01:25:14,536 We'll come pick you up, in our Alouette Chopper. 895 01:25:14,575 --> 01:25:15,980 Latest model. 896 01:25:16,027 --> 01:25:17,627 I did it, I did it! 897 01:25:17,670 --> 01:25:20,416 We did it, and they lost! 898 01:25:22,411 --> 01:25:25,995 You appreciate, Mr. President... 899 01:25:26,282 --> 01:25:28,257 that I saved your life. 900 01:25:28,333 --> 01:25:30,387 They wanted to, 'taga-daga-da!' 901 01:25:30,427 --> 01:25:32,745 *Arkhoum Fares, my President. 902 01:25:33,050 --> 01:25:36,201 - No more *Arkhoum! - Pardon. 903 01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:38,810 Shouldn't have bet on the wrong camel. 904 01:25:38,835 --> 01:25:41,134 Sabres... up! 905 01:25:53,135 --> 01:25:55,474 See that, Mr. President? 906 01:26:02,542 --> 01:26:04,787 That's France! Clip-clop... 907 01:26:05,527 --> 01:26:07,144 France! 908 01:26:33,653 --> 01:26:35,178 That's it! It's over. 909 01:26:35,313 --> 01:26:38,178 It's 2 o' clock, I can't wait any longer. 910 01:26:38,294 --> 01:26:40,949 Remove the plants and flower bouquets. 911 01:26:40,974 --> 01:26:43,576 But Reverend! A little more patience. 912 01:26:43,615 --> 01:26:47,210 I phoned and no one's home, they're surely on their way. 913 01:26:47,271 --> 01:26:50,955 - I'm sorry, I have a funeral. - At least, he'll be on time! 914 01:26:50,998 --> 01:26:53,088 - Alexandre. - Yes, papa. 915 01:26:53,127 --> 01:26:55,319 The Marquise is leaving. 916 01:26:55,599 --> 01:26:58,814 - Stay a little longer, dear Madame? - Any minute, now. 917 01:26:58,850 --> 01:27:03,342 Ah, no, I've been standing for 2 hours, so good bye. Home! 918 01:27:03,888 --> 01:27:06,642 Alexander, you sure it wasn't Notre Dame? 919 01:27:06,706 --> 01:27:08,623 Will we get lunch anyway? 920 01:27:08,649 --> 01:27:11,178 - Better luck next time. - Piss off! 921 01:27:11,334 --> 01:27:13,533 Papa, mama, what now? 922 01:27:14,244 --> 01:27:17,506 - Two hours late. Two! - What'll people think? 923 01:27:17,550 --> 01:27:19,987 Pivert is a useless ass! 924 01:27:27,205 --> 01:27:29,143 What's that? 925 01:27:35,377 --> 01:27:36,962 Mama, what is that? 926 01:27:37,017 --> 01:27:39,038 'TEN... HUTT! 927 01:27:55,946 --> 01:27:58,527 Here I am. Allez, allez! 928 01:28:01,352 --> 01:28:03,740 General, here I am! Here! 929 01:28:03,911 --> 01:28:05,560 Pivert! 930 01:28:06,771 --> 01:28:08,823 I'm here. Coming! 931 01:28:08,902 --> 01:28:12,585 Stay, Reverend. I'm the father of the bride. 932 01:28:12,687 --> 01:28:14,339 You? A Rabbi?! 933 01:28:14,406 --> 01:28:17,158 It's a scandal, Pivert! A SCANDAL 934 01:28:17,219 --> 01:28:20,904 - Explain yourself! - 2 hours late and what's that disguise? 935 01:28:20,974 --> 01:28:23,230 A Rabbi! I'm a Rabbi like you. 936 01:28:23,278 --> 01:28:25,891 This is a Shtreimel. That, too, is a Shtreimel. 937 01:28:25,941 --> 01:28:27,773 These are Curlicues. (*Payot) 938 01:28:27,807 --> 01:28:30,261 - Those, too, are Curlicues! - Aah! 939 01:28:32,050 --> 01:28:33,705 We're here! 940 01:28:33,978 --> 01:28:35,617 That's my wife! 941 01:28:39,463 --> 01:28:40,979 Turn into it! 942 01:28:41,135 --> 01:28:44,015 - Mama, stop! - Shall I take the wheel? 943 01:28:44,085 --> 01:28:46,465 I can't Solomon, no brakes! 944 01:28:52,045 --> 01:28:55,439 What's that white smoke from the engine? 945 01:29:12,379 --> 01:29:15,051 My boat! My boat. 946 01:29:16,135 --> 01:29:17,813 Antoinette. 947 01:29:17,879 --> 01:29:19,862 You did that on purpose! 948 01:29:19,916 --> 01:29:21,375 My hat! 949 01:29:21,426 --> 01:29:23,885 My boat, gluglug... Your hat... 950 01:29:25,458 --> 01:29:27,355 Mademoiselle, allow me. 951 01:29:28,439 --> 01:29:30,160 Are you nuts? 952 01:29:30,279 --> 01:29:33,981 Papa, mama, don't start. Not today. 953 01:29:34,176 --> 01:29:36,611 Jacob! It's him! 954 01:29:41,032 --> 01:29:42,538 Shalom. 955 01:29:51,151 --> 01:29:53,865 Pivert, what's this tribe? 956 01:29:53,943 --> 01:29:56,690 Tribe?! Those are my friends, the Schmolls. 957 01:29:56,752 --> 01:29:59,908 They invited me to synagogue so I invite them to church. 958 01:29:59,933 --> 01:30:03,568 - Gotcha, Pivert! - Well done! - Imbecile! 959 01:30:16,236 --> 01:30:18,165 Sabres... up! 960 01:30:36,756 --> 01:30:38,318 Mr president... 961 01:30:43,881 --> 01:30:45,512 *... 962 01:30:45,740 --> 01:30:48,561 In the name of the bonds that unite our countries, 963 01:30:48,640 --> 01:30:50,646 I'm glad to be the first to... 964 01:30:50,700 --> 01:30:54,236 - Slimane, in the name of the law, I arrest you. - Me? 965 01:30:54,321 --> 01:30:56,921 Now, there, you're making a gaffe. 966 01:30:57,023 --> 01:30:59,083 And, what a cock up! Haha... 967 01:30:59,192 --> 01:31:01,112 - You'll see. - Yes, we'll see. 968 01:31:01,175 --> 01:31:04,259 It's OK, Minister I collared them without incident. 969 01:31:04,324 --> 01:31:06,824 Release these men, imbecile! 970 01:31:07,514 --> 01:31:09,793 Of course, Minister. 971 01:31:11,082 --> 01:31:14,531 - Mr. President, excuse us, sir. - Ah, it's nothing. 972 01:31:14,586 --> 01:31:16,116 Hmm... you! 973 01:31:16,178 --> 01:31:18,449 - Thank you, 'constable'. - 'Constable'? 974 01:31:18,525 --> 01:31:20,884 Because tomorrow... truuu-lut ! 975 01:31:21,319 --> 01:31:23,051 Truuu-lut ! 976 01:31:24,647 --> 01:31:26,359 ... truuu-lut ! 977 01:31:46,358 --> 01:31:49,827 My veil! Can I have my veil back? 978 01:31:51,502 --> 01:31:53,127 No. 979 01:32:03,157 --> 01:32:05,032 Antoinette! 980 01:32:06,661 --> 01:32:10,451 Where's she off to? Antoinette, come back! 981 01:32:10,506 --> 01:32:13,598 See that, Minister? He's taking my daughter! 982 01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:16,009 He just takes her and zoom! 983 01:32:16,237 --> 01:32:18,702 Victor, she's gone mad. 984 01:32:18,780 --> 01:32:21,793 You can't let our daughter go off with a... a... 985 01:32:21,875 --> 01:32:26,686 A President of a Republic. My daughter will marry a President. 986 01:32:45,717 --> 01:32:47,582 *Mazel tov. 987 01:32:47,912 --> 01:32:53,323 Of course, tonight, you're coming to the bar mitzvah dinner? 988 01:32:53,433 --> 01:32:55,610 Listen, Rabbi Jacob, listen. 989 01:32:55,735 --> 01:32:58,023 I must confess. 990 01:32:58,202 --> 01:33:00,735 Voila... I'm not Jewish. 991 01:33:01,035 --> 01:33:05,061 Doesn't matter, Monsieur. We'll, keep you on anyway.