>> Billy: You know that thing in
your life that you want to hold onto so desperately?
You do so so tightly that you end up draining it of its joy.
You end up squeezing the life out of it.
The thing you want the most becomes the most illusive, and
your frustration grows because you're trying to control
something that is out of your control.
You end up closing off or hitting a wall.
I can't be the only one. But I think I might have just
landed on something that helps me.
By closing my eyes, by quieting my system, by calming my mind
and simply breathing. I sit here open to the
possibilities, the opportunity to allow the thing that I want
most in my life...to arrive.
>> Phyllis: Thank you for bringing in my luggage.
You're such a gentleman. >> Jack: It is the least I can
do after all you did for me in LA.
>> Phyllis: I'd like to do a little more for you.
>> Jack: Oh? >> Phyllis: Yeah, I'd like to do
a deeper dive into who's sending you those texts.
>> Jack: Thank you. I can't even think about that
right now. >> Phyllis: Okay.
Well, I understand. The whole trip, it was a lot to
process, that you have a new granddaughter.
>> Jack: Yeah, I wouldn't have gotten through any of this
without your companionship and support.
You know that. >> Phyllis: I was happy to be
there. You can count on me.
>> Jack: Thank you. >> Phyllis: Honestly, I wish I
would've gotten a chance to get to know Allie a little better.
>> Jack: Yeah, same here, but I haven't given up.
It may still happen.
>> Allie: Hey, Dad. I still can't believe that
you're really gone, Dad.
I miss you so much. Why did this happen?
What am I gonna do without you?
[ Door closes ]
>> Jack: [ Sighs ]
[ Cellphone chimes ]
♪♪
>> Billy: What I'm talking about is meditation.
Now, let me be very clear. I am early in on this journey,
and from what I understand, it's not a cure-all but more a tool
to help you calm your mind. And as I sit here with my small
sample size, it has helped me get into a mind-set to talk to
you all freely, with no barriers, with no hang-ups,
without over-thinking it. Because the truth is I'm not
sure where this adventure's going to take me emotionally or
otherwise, but I'm not gonna think about that.
I'm gonna take a leap of faith and I'm gonna put it all out
there. And I'm gonna enjoy the ride.
>> Devon: Jill!
How you doing? It's great to see you.
You look amazing. >> Jill: Well, you look healthy
and happy yourself. Thank you for chatting with me.
>> Devon: Oh, absolutely. You know I'll chat with you
anytime. It's actually funny that you
wanted to do this because I was planning to reach out to you to
discuss something. >> Jill: Really.
Maybe we want to talk about the same thing.
Why don't I go first? >> Devon: Be my guest.
>> Jill: Why the hell are you throwing away the chance of a
lifetime?
>> Billy: Now, I can't take
credit for this new approach. The suggestion came from my
amazing sister, and of course, I gave her a hard time about it in
the beginning, 'cause that's what I do, but once I got over
myself and I actually tried it, she was right.
Because she's always right. And like I said, I am just
beginning to dabble in it, but so far, so good.
And I am fully aware by even talking about it, it might
defeat the purpose and maybe this is gonna come across very
annoying, like I am describing my dreams, and if that's -- if
that's the way it comes across, I apologize.
And who knows? Maybe nobody's gonna even listen
to this in the first place. But I have to say that I have
had a blessed life. But I've also had my struggles.
I've had a fair share of pain and I have made mistakes.
So if this offering can help one person or, better yet,
collectively, we can help each other get past the things that
hold us back, then, without question, all of it...is
absolutely worth it.
>> Traci: Oh, I thought I heard somebody down here.
When did you get home? >> Jack: Just got in.
>> Traci: Well, I am dying to hear every detail about your
trip, but if you're tired, I understand.
>> Jack: Oh, no, I'm so wound up, I can't even think about
sleeping. >> Traci: Mwah.
Well, how about I make us some tea?
>> Jack: You know what? That sounds great.
Oh, and about the talk, fair warning, I got a lot to tell.
>> Traci: I assumed as much. >> Jack: It's stuff I want to
tell the whole family, but I'd love to run it by you first, if
you're okay with that.
>> Devon: I imagine that the chance of a lifetime I'm
throwing away is merging Chancellor and Hamilton-Winters,
right? >> Jill: Good guess.
Must be why you have the CEO title and the big office.
>> Devon: Well, you know, those are two things that I really do
love, Jill. >> Jill: Oh, I'm sure you do.
But before you say anything else, let me just tell you that
when Lily first pitched the idea to me, I was floored.
But I quickly came to realize, Devon, it is inspired.
Together, our two companies would be unstoppable.
Look what the Newman/Locke merger has done for those
entities. >> Devon: Yeah, I can definitely
see the possibilities, but you and I both know that there are
complications that come with making a power play like that.
>> Jill: With a company as big as ours would be, we could
handle any difficulties. >> Devon: No, I know that, Jill,
and, believe me, I haven't stopped considering it at all.
I just feel like we need to focus on this first joint
venture that we have going and see how that goes first before
we take the next step. >> Jill: Oh, I already know how
it's gonna go -- fabulously. It's you and Lily.
I see nothing but success for any co-production between the
two of you. But let me say that I think
delaying the bigger move would be a huge mistake.
Think about what Katherine or Neil would do in this situation.
>> Devon: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Neil and Katherine would
both take their time before making such a big decision like
this, and they would weigh everything very carefully.
>> Jill: And then they would both agree this is the right
move. I have looked at this from every
single angle, and I have to tell, it almost seems like it
was written in the stars. Katherine would love that you
were involved in running Chancellor.
>> Devon: I know that what you're saying is true and I also
know that Neil would love to know that his kids are working
together, because we created Hamilton-Winters to be a family
company. >> Jill: And on top of all that,
you are now a third parent to my great-grandson.
How much more family can we get?
>> Billy: The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in
between -- that's what you're gonna get from me.
And I thought that I would start with a story about a sweet
little girl whose death changed my life forever.
Now, I should probably warn you, there are parts of this story
that are a little bit rough. But it's the defining moment in
my adult life and, for me, the only place to begin.
A shocking loss that led me down a path into darkness.
A cautionary tale that gets worse before it gets better.
Now, I don't think that I will ever entirely heal, but the
truth is I'm not sure if I want to, and the fear is that I would
somehow lose the memories. Somehow my sweet daughter would
disappear in some sort of way, and...I like having her there
in whatever capacity I can get. But her memory has not been
serving me in the way that it could.
And I'm hoping that I finally figured out that the key to it
is to love her, honor her, and celebrate her without
letting the pain and grief and anger drive me.
Now, the ending of this story
isn't exactly happy because happy would mean that she is
still here. But it's filled with beautiful
memories. And the fact that I was able to
love her, and that gives me strength, and I'm hoping that
this can be an uplifting, empowering story.
Because with all the pain, I am still forever grateful and
consider myself incredibly lucky that I was able to know her in
the way that I did. Even if it was for way too short
of a time.
>> Jack: "I found a way to let go of my anger.
I've forgiven you. But I can't see you or be part
of your life. I'm sorry for that.
I wish I was stronger or better somehow, but this is the way it
has to be, at least for now. You should know, even though I
still can't bring myself to bridge that gap, that de--
that deep down...a son will always love his father."
>> Traci: Oh, Jack. [ Sighs ]
I'm so glad that you weren't alone when you found these, and
I wish I had been there for you. >> Jack: You know what?
Phyllis was really there. She was as strong and as good a
friend as I could've asked for during this emotional roller
coaster. >> Traci: Yes.
>> Jack: I just wish I'd reached out to Keemo one last time.
>> Traci: Oh, no, no, you cannot blame yourself for that.
A relationship is a two-way street.
>> Jack: Yeah, my brain knows that, my heart still just hurts.
>> Traci: Jack, it's gonna take time.
>> Jack: Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna take time, and
my emotions have been all over the place.
>> Traci: Of course they have, because they're trying to make
sense of something that doesn't. >> Jack: How is it you always
know the right thing to say? >> Traci: [ Chuckles ]
I don't know about that, but I'm just doing the best I can, same
as you. And this situation is so
overwhelming. >> Jack: You don't know the half
of it. >> Traci: [ Sighs ] I'm afraid
to ask. What -- What?
There's something more? >> Jack: Well, when Luan died,
Keemo left Genoa City and he got on with his life.
He found some happiness. He met someone.
He fell in love. He got married.
He had a child. >> Traci: I'm sorry, what?
>> Jack: You have a great-niece. I have a granddaughter.
>> Traci: Oh. [ Chuckles ] Oh, Jack!
>> Amanda: Thank you for calling me.
We are so overdue for some girl time.
So tell me about all of your adventures with Jack.
>> Phyllis: Adventures? >> Amanda: Okay, I didn't mean
that the way that it sounded. >> Phyllis: Uh, definitely
adventure -- I don't know if it's the right word.
I mean, it just felt really great giving emotional support
to Jack when he's usually extending that to me.
>> Amanda: Well, I'm really glad that you were there for Jack
when he needed you. And I don't know what happened,
but is there any way that these supportive feelings turned
romantic? >> Phyllis: It wasn't like that
at all.
>> Traci: Okay, you're gonna have to go back and take me
through this one step at a time, 'cause I -- I mean, how old is
she? What's her name?
Did you get to meet her? >> Jack: Her name is Allie.
I met her today, and she is a bright, beautiful young graduate
student. >> Traci: Okay, so we're not
talking about a little girl. >> Jack: Oh, no, no, she's an
adult. Here.
Yeah, I missed out on her childhood the same way I missed
out on Keemo's. >> Traci: Oh, Jack, she's just
beautiful. >> Jack: Yeah.
>> Traci: Is she the one that's been sending you these cryptic
texts? >> Jack: No.
She had no idea who I was. Now, who-- whoever sent those
texts, if the purpose was to get me closer to my granddaughter,
the texter succeeded. >> Traci: How is it possible she
didn't know anything about you? >> Jack: Because Keemo insisted
she not know I even existed. >> Traci: Oh, Jack, I'm sorry.
>> Jack: Yeah, it's a lot to take in, but I'll work my way
through that. >> Traci: Yes, yes, you will,
and I still have a whole bunch of questions.
Starting with, when do I get to meet this new member of our
family? >> Jack: Well, I'd love for that
to happen soon, but...not right away.
No, I -- if it's going to happen -- and believe me, I want
it to happen -- it's gonna take some time.
>> Billy: After I lost my
daughter, I felt myself building these walls around my heart,
around everything good in my life, and maybe that was
self-preservation. Clearly I was trying to protect
myself, but the problem was these walls were built with
hatred. And they were aimed directly
at the person responsible for her death.
[ Sighs ] I realized that really it was me
avoiding dealing directly with my sense of loss...and with my
own guilt. All of it festering under the
surface. At times, lying dormant, but at
other times erupting, and when it did, it wasn't good.
I acted out in a way that was scary and sometimes very
troubling. At one point, pushing my mind to
actually splinter. [ Sighs ]
But I'm lucky. I had the love of a good friend
and I had therapy to put myself back together.
And after backsliding more times than I care to mention...
something amazing happened to me.
Something very surprising. Something that saved me.
Pure and simple...love.
>> Devon: Well, thank you for coming by.
Hope I didn't call you too late. >> Lily: No, no, I was up.
Is everything okay? Dom's good?
>> Devon: Yeah, yeah, Dom is getting better every day.
>> Lily: Good. >> Devon: Yeah.
>> Lily: But I'm guessing you called me over here for more
than just a catch-up? >> Devon: Yeah, yeah, I did.
Jill called me tonight. >> Lily: Oh.
>> Devon: Mm-hmm. >> Lily: To talk about the
merger? >> Devon: Mm-hmm, yes.
>> Lily: Okay, I did not put her up to that, I promise you.
>> Devon: I know you didn't. Nobody puts Jill up to anything.
>> Lily: That's very true. So...what happened?
>> Devon: She wouldn't take no for an answer is what happened.
>> Lily: Does that mean that she convinced you?
>> Devon: [ Chuckles ] >> Lily: [ Chuckles ]
>> Traci: How is it that Allie doesn't want to see you again
after just having met you? >> Jack: Actually, Allie
proposed that we get together sometime in the future, you
know, for coffee next time I'm in LA.
It's cute. I made the same offer.
I don't expect much to come of it.
>> Traci: Why not? >> Jack: Well, I think her first
instinct is to run for the hills and forget we ever met.
Now, I don't blame her. I really don't, on some level.
She has her own life. She's mourning her father's
death. And I show up in the middle of
her grieving and it's like a bomb.
She was as shocked by my existence as I was by hers.
I don't blame her if she decides she wants to back up and walk
away. >> Traci: Well, I take all of
your points. It's just I find the whole
situation so heartbreaking. >> Jack: Yeah, it didn't exactly
go like I planned. But I'm not giving up.
I am convinced I can forge some kind of relationship with my
granddaughter, some kind of bond.
She just needs time to get used to the idea -- it's more than
time. I -- I have to find some way to
let her know artfully, carefully, subtly, that the
Abbotts' door is always open to her.
>> Allie: I wish you could give
me a sign or something, Dad. God, I am just...so confused.
In the past, when I needed to
talk to someone, you were the one who I turned to.
When things got rough, I leaned on you.
And now...
I have no one.
[ Sighs ] Or at least nobody like you.
Mom is a million miles away, busy with her own life.
And we both know that's never gonna change.
You're gone and, uh...you're
never really coming back, are you?
And now...Jack Abbott shows up.
How do I know if I can trust
him? I mean, the last thing I would
want to do is disgrace your memory by doing something that
you wouldn't approve of.
If you cut him out of your life, then shouldn't I do the same?
>> "The Young and the Restless" will continue.
>> Phyllis: What happened with
Jack in California was so heavy. I mean, all the emotions that he
dealt with, the loss of his son, then all the other stuff that
came up, it just... >> Amanda: I'm sorry.
I am -- I'm so sorry that I tried to make light of the
situation by, you know, asking if it went romantic.
>> Phyllis: No, you're okay. I mean, it just wasn't that kind
of trip. >> Amanda: Okay, I got it.
>> Phyllis: Yeah, and, you know, Jack and I are not in the
romantic mind-set. >> Amanda: Mm.
Great. >> Phyllis: I thought we made
that clear. I mean, I thought we were okay
on that. >> Amanda: Yeah, I put that
topic to bed. >> Phyllis: Oh, good, good,
because it's a non-starter. >> Amanda: Okay, well, you're
the one that still keeps talking about it.
>> Phyllis: I'm not talking about it, just...
>> Amanda: I just want to say that I know that Jack
appreciated you being there for him.
You are that rare person that would drop everything and fly
across the country when somebody needs you.
>> Phyllis: That's sweet. I am.
[ Chuckles ] And it wasn't a sacrifice, by
the way. I was happy to be there for
Jack. >> Amanda: See, I think that you
and Jack, your relationship has just -- it's reached a new
level, even if it's not romantic.
>> Phyllis: You know what? It has.
You're right, it has reached a new level.
>> Jack: Well, I have been going on and on.
What do you think? >> Traci: [ Sighs ]
Well, I don't want to dampen your hopes.
>> Jack: But? >> Traci: I also don't want to
see you set yourself up to be disappointed.
>> Jack: I'm calling it guarded optimism.
>> Traci: [ Chuckles ] I consider myself an optimist,
too. >> Jack: I know.
I know where you're going next. I'm telling you, you don't have
to worry about me. I am moving forward with my eyes
wide open, well aware this may not work out.
But I'm thinking maybe the door won't always be closed.
I see in Allie this bright, resourceful young woman, but I
also am aware she needs family. She's lost family.
Her whole family's been upended. >> Traci: What about her other
relatives? I mean, where's her mother?
>> Jack: Well, she said that Keemo and her mother divorced
some time ago and that she and her mother have kind of a rocky
relationship. When I look in her eyes, I just
see someone who's alone, afraid, and sad.
>> Traci: She's not the only one who's sad, Jack.
>> Jack: Yeah, it's been a rough time all around.
>> Traci: But you have handled this with generosity and grace,
and I admire your determination. I know I had reservations, but I
am so grateful that you went all the way to Los Angeles looking
for answers. And you found Allie.
And I'm equally glad that you're home, where your family can take
care of you. >> Jack: Thanks. Needed this.
>> Traci: [ Laughs ] And speaking of family, everyone
else is gonna want to know every detail.
>> Jack: You know what, you know what, I do want to tell
everyone, but look at the hour. Not everyone's on LA time.
You know what? I'm gonna go for a drive and try
to wind down. >> Traci: [ Chuckles ]
Jack, you are going to work your way through this, and you're not
gonna have to do it alone. I love you so much.
[ Chuckles ] >> Jack: I love you.
I cannot believe my son is gone. >> Traci: I know.
>> Jack: But I am determined not to let that happen to my
granddaughter.
>> Devon: Yeah, no, Jill just made about as good of an
argument as you did about why we should merge the companies.
>> Lily: Okay, but are you buying it?
>> Devon: Um...the more I think about it, the more I love the
idea of paying homage to family. I will say that.
>> Lily: So does that mean you're closer to a yes than
before? >> Devon: I would have to see a
very detailed proposal on how it would all work out.
>> Lily: Well, funny enough, I actually already have one made,
ready for you to view. >> Devon: Really?
>> Lily: I do. >> Devon: I bet you do.
>> Lily: [ Laughs ] >> Devon: I bet you do.
[ Chuckles ] You never doubted yourself on
pulling this off, have you? >> Lily: No, that's not true.
I just... I was really hoping that the
idea of bringing family together would eventually sway you.
>> Devon: [ Chuckles ] That's another thing, too,
'cause, like, the benefits of a merger are obvious to me, of
course. But I would want to make sure
that that never caused any trouble between you and me.
Just 'cause I know, we've seen family, you know, turn on each
other because of business, and I don't want that to ever happen.
>> Lily: I understand that. But I really don't think that's
gonna happen to us. I mean, first of all, I trust
you more than anyone else in the world.
And secondly, like, we've been through so much together, right?
Like, teenage years, everything. I mean, in my mind, there's no
amount of corporate friction that could ever sever our bond.
>> Devon: No. Are you sure about that?
>> Lily: Yes, I am. And honestly, I would step away
from all of it if our relationship were ever put on
the line. >> Devon: You'd step down as
CEO? >> Lily: Absolutely, yes.
>> Devon: Well, I mean, I guess
then I would have to make that same promise to you.
And if anything ever goes bad, I'll step down, too.
>> Lily: So are we on the same page?
>> Devon: I think we are. >> Lily: Okay, I want to hear
you say it. >> Devon: Okay.
>> Lily: Say the words. >> Devon: I'm ready.
I'm ready to take this shot. Let's do it.
Let's make Dad and Katherine proud.
>> Lily: Oh! I'm so happy.
[ Both laugh ] >> Devon: Me too.
>> Billy: Hey.
>> Lily: Hi. >> Billy: How was your evening?
>> Lily: Well, I'm very glad you asked.
It was amazing. How was yours?
>> Billy: It was good, but I want to hear about yours first.
>> Lily: Well, I had a breakthrough with Devon and the
merger. So a lot of work and
negotiations have to be done, but I think it might actually
happen. >> Billy: Oh, my gosh, that's
amazing. Congratulations.
How did you convince him? >> Lily: Well, I mean, your
mother, of course, helped, but I think the clincher was that I
told him no business would ever come between us.
And I meant it, you know? We've been through so much
together. I really do believe that our
relationship is unbreakable. >> Billy: I don't doubt it.
>> Lily: So what's your news? Tell me.
>> Billy: Well, I had a bit of a breakthrough myself.
You know that Traci suggested I try meditation, so I have for
the last few days, and I have to say, it has really helped calm
my mind and helped me feel open emotionally.
I just finished my first podcast, and I have to say, it
felt good. I put it out there for the world
to hear. >> Lily: That's amazing.
>> Billy: Yeah. >> Lily: Are you happy with it?
>> Billy: I am. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if
anyone's gonna listen to it, but that's not up to me.
But it felt cathartic. >> Lily: Wow.
See? I knew you could do it. I knew you'd find a way to get
your inspiration out. I can't wait to hear it.
>> Billy: Well, I should warn you, little bit of a spoiler
alert, you do factor into it, kind of a reoccurring theme.
>> Lily: Oh, God. >> Billy: No, it's not bad.
It's -- It's all good because the truth is, I'll never get
tired of telling you that you saved my life.
>> Amanda: Hey.
>> Devon: Hey. >> Amanda: I'm home.
>> Devon: Hi. [ Chuckles ]
How you doing? >> Amanda: I'm good.
Mm. [ Chuckles ] Well, that is a really nice
welcome home. [ Both laugh ]
>> Devon: There's more where that came from.
>> Amanda: Yeah? >> Devon: Mm-hmm.
>> Amanda: Whoa, okay, okay. Okay, Romeo.
>> Devon: [ Chuckles ] >> Amanda: Am I just that
irresistible today or is something else going on?
>> Devon: Well, you're irresistible every day, but,
yeah, I do have some big news. Uh, Lily and I have decided to
move forward with merging our companies.
>> Amanda: Are you kidding? >> Devon: No.
>> Amanda: Wow, that's -- that's fantastic.
>> Devon: Yeah, I thought so. >> Amanda: Yeah.
I'm happy for you, really. >> Devon: Is that your happy
face? [ Chuckles ]
>> Amanda: I'm just -- I'm hoping that Lily didn't push you
into this. >> Devon: No, I promise you she
didn't at all. I considered her options and I
got input from other people, but, no, the decision was mine.
>> Amanda: And you thought this through?
>> Devon: Yes, I did. >> Amanda: Okay, well, then I'm
ecstatic. >> Devon: Yeah?
>> Amanda: I'm so excited. [ Both laugh ]
>> Devon: Well, thank you. There's still a lot of -- a
lot of stuff to nail down, but...
>> Amanda: Yes, and as the head of Chancellor's legal
department, I am well aware this deal is gonna be complicated,
but potentially groundbreaking. And there's the added bonus of
the two of us working together. >> Devon: Oh, that's right.
That is right. >> Amanda: Oh, I will be tough
but fair. >> Devon: You're always fair.
>> Amanda: [ Laughs ] >> Devon: Mm.
I haven't been this happy in a very, very long time, you know
that? >> Amanda: Yeah?
>> Devon: Yeah. Between you and Dominic getting
healthy and this merger and everything, just feels like life
is coming together really, really well.
And you know, when we pull this off, it's not just gonna change
our lives and Lily's life, our two families' legacies will
never be the same again. [ Both chuckle ]
>> Phyllis: Hey.
Oh, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?
>> Jack: No, no, no, I just couldn't sleep.
>> Phyllis: Neither can I. >> Jack: I also wanted to take
one more chance to say thank you for being there for me the last
couple of days. >> Phyllis: I was happy to do
it. You don't need to keep on
thanking me. >> Jack: I am not gonna let you
be dismissive of the kindness and friendship and loyalty
you've shown. It means the world to me.
[ Cellphone chimes ] >> Phyllis: Is that the texter?
Hey, what does it say?
Don't keep me in suspense.
>> Billy: I'm not sure I'm in a position to be giving advice to
anyone. I've gone about a lot of things
in my life the wrong way. But I'm hoping maybe my mistakes
can serve as a warning to people who are at risk of falling down
the rabbit hole like I did. Everyone's experience is
different, and what may help one person may not work for another.
But, like I said, my saving grace was -- as the old cliché
goes -- pure and simple...love.
Love can often come as a surprise.
It can also make you look at the future with fresh eyes.
I'm a big believer in second
chances. And third and fourth and fifth
chances -- coming to you when you least expect it.
>> Allie: Mm.
[ Gasps ]
Is someone there?
>> Next week on >> Devon: I thought I heard
Nate's voice in here. What are you doing?
>> Nate: How would you like to be neighbors again?
>> Jack: It's from our friendly anonymous texter.
"Doing what I can to help. I think Allie might be more
receptive soon." >> Ashland: I get the sense that
you think that I'm about to break down and make some kind of
confession here. >> Victoria: If there is a
confession that needs to be made, then now would be the time
to make it.
♪♪
>> Join us again for